Unmasking Antagonistic Narcissism: The Dark Side of Grandiosity and The Toxic Struggle for Dominance
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 июн 2023
- Antagonistic narcissism is subtype of grandiose narcissism that reveals the dark side of inflated self-importance. Antagonistic narcissists relentlessly seek dominance and control, employing manipulation, emotional abuse, and belittlement as tools to assert superiority.
This video outlines some of the common characteristics and behaviours associated with antagonistic narcissism as well as its impact on individuals, relationships, organisations and communities.
This video outlines some of the common characteristics and the unyielding nature of the behaviours associated with antagonistic narcissism as well as its impact on individuals, families, relationships, organisations and communities.
Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos.
If you find this video interesting please consider supporting me on Patreon or Substack
/ dfmagee
darrenfmagee.s...
#narcissistic #antagonisticnarcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness
Dominance, is the word here. Even, walking ahead of people, it’s sick and pervasive, and creates persistent tension in relationships. Why, why all the toxicity? It’s only destructive but the narc get energy from it and pleasure. Sadism.
he said it, seldom an apology. They can’t do it. Everything is blamed on someone else.
My father was a violent antagonistic narcissist.
I did not cry when he died.
My poor sibling said "Hell, I'll drive the backhoe!" 😆
sad to say, i think i will feel the same when my malignant narc mom went for her last judgement.
I popped a bottle of bubbly, I was so relieved. And I told the Council in Austria, to throw his ashes into the Danube, so he can go back to Dracula Country, where he came from.
Darren you completely described how my mother would treat me. She would wait until noone else was home and then make me sit in a chair while she raged at me. And she was the "nice" parent. My father was terrifying and physically abusive. I would apologize and cry and it didnt stop her or slow her down. Even my scary father told her to stop which is why she would wait until he was gone. She ground me down to nothing. I was 3rd in my class but spent my whole life in low paid work as i didnt have the self esteem to cross the street.
OMG, my mom did something similar growing up but in front of my bros when dad wasn't home. Since my early 20's she's been doing it when no ones around, no one knows what's happening except me, her & God. Every chance she gets she mentions things to ppl which ruins my image, reputation and she never mentions my accomplishments and the good I've be bringing to the table for her & everyone else instead she rather downplays them like it never happened or it's irrelevant or the credit is given to her or someone else who's isnt good to me. Reading your reply gave me anxiety not because it brought out old memories but knowing you went through such harsh life. I pray that you're at a better place with good people & if you aren't like me in my current state I so pray God gives you the chance to flourish & explore what you've been missing out on, genuine human interaction & generosity afterall not everyone outside our home doors is a monster who's out to get us like we were programmed to believe 😊🙏🏻
I relate so much to this. I thought I was the only one being raged at all alone. She'd trap me in her room and have me seated in front of a mirror while she screamed and spit.
These people are horrible, evil people who deserve no slack, no attention. They were not safe and their homes were nothing more than a joke they create as they go put into the world and get their needs met. There was no excuse for their behavior. They just want to use people. They punish other people for just being around them. All they do is create children who go out into the world to accept suffering as normal. No. Suffering is not living. Suffering is just a slow death of the soul. No matter what their excuse was, they're nothing but Bullies. All they do is present themselves as daints, but we know exactly who they are. The exact opposite. No compassion for someone who doesn't even See you.
They lied to U!!! Your amazing! That's WHY they did that shit!
This was a family pattern. "Conflict resolution" was whoever could be the bigger bully. I had to unlearn a lot of toxic patterns after I escaped. I'm still learning. The conditioning is difficult to break.
"Moral immunity" is such an excellent description. I really like how you skillfully use language with few words to describe these creatures.
It is no secret that narcissist change behaviors depending on the people and the situations and that all narcissists have both vulnerable and overt states. Narcissist tends to behave covertly in front of people they perceive are more powerful than them or stronger than them, they become passive-aggressive and victimized because they know they can't attack the person without receiving very painful consequences that even they can't digress. But they tend to switch and become extremely overt and antagonistic in front of those they perceive as weak or inferior. That is why those who suffer more from Antagonistic narcissism are usually children and women because they are socially considered as inferior species
💯
Definitely and they will target, obsess and do anything to control a woman they view as an Alpha female. Love bombing is a common tactic, as they will seek to use an emotional connection to make the woman more vulnerable and then attack with constant criticism and gaslighting when they think she has fell for this emotional ploy.
They are SOUL CRUSHING individuals. Only thing you can do is ghost them and stay away.
Very true, they will love bomb you but you must stay away
This is so spot on. After 30 years of marriage, I found out that my husband had been having multiple affairs…when the women started finding me (via my Instagram account)…outing him (for their affairs) because they were tired of waiting for him to ‘leave me’…and be with them, as he had clearly been deceiving all of them - into believing. What a disgusting game he had going on! And even though he had stooped to that level of infidelity, when I filed for divorce…he absolutely lost his marbles in a fit of rage…and accused me of ‘suing him’!!! Like, how DARE I…SUE HIM…for divorce!! As if I were some disgruntled neighbor…angry over a petty property dispute. Hardly! His antics throughout the costly three year divorce…were nothing more that petty, vindictive, nasty head games, while he used the family law system to abuse me further…by proxy. He was so irritate, over being held accountable for his unacceptable behaviour…he completely had to divert the blame, and in his mind…I was the bad guy, and he…the innocent victim. This is exactly how their minds work.
i will sue till he dropped his pants
@FarseerVisions weird comment. Honestly.
If it wasn't me having a father like that, and some neighbours like that, it'll be hard to believe. But yes, they NEVER feel shame or guilt. They're ALWAYS right. My younger brother also falls into that category. It's some form of insanity, it's not some undeveloped soul, like a 2 year old, who just wants his way. These people are evil.
@@oceanaoushn8803its probably the ex narchole she is talking about. if not its definately a woman hating abuser trying to trigger one of us so they can say "see all women are crazy". Its someone who is too much of a big shattered ego to see how their covert abuse pushes women away. Hating the victim instead of their actions. Theyll probably die just as bitter and lonely as they obviously are right now.
@@farseervisionsthere you go, is this the reaction you were looking for? Youre welcome.
His is my dad. His favourite point of antagonism is politics.
Entitled, unforgiving, vindictive, competitive, authotaurian, angry, unapologetic and untruthful about his role in disputes.. All of these.
And my mother let's him be like it because no one, except me, dare speak out against him. He and my family have chosen to not apologise over a certain incident that caused a lot of upset to me and my daughter and he has lied about it to other people so I've been smeared, left with nobody.
(un) funnily enough, his mother was exactly the same.
This describes my ex-friend exactly. He was also an online troll and bully. In fact, many people told him he's a bully but he'd just get upset about how anyone could think that about him instead of wondering why so many people kept coming to that conclusion about him. He was also big on the moral superiority, telling others they need to introspect but never doing any introspection about himself. Our friendship ended when he undermined me to win the competition with me he had created in his own head. I had to leave the situation which still hurts because it feels unfair that I had to give everything up and start over and he didn't. I hope those people I left behind can wake up to him someday too.
"God helps those who point them out" LOL. so true, whoever point them out will get Hell Fire from the narc. narc's victim could say 'bye-bye' to his image among his/her relatives.
Your videos are informative without being overwhelming and your delivery is pleasant without being boring or pushy. Thank you for your valuable videos.
narcs destroying from the inside and outside, how true.
Darren so spot on. These people are awful to deal with. Great insight thank you.
I’ve met a cover narc who was angry agonistic behind closed doors after he sunk his claws in.
Hearing this:
"Thanks for watching!"
at the end of beneficial video uploaded for the welbeing of others... always surprises me.
I guess that this being surprised ywith himan kindness and consideration tell more than enough about the prople I live among
This is so relatable to his behaviour.
This is 100% my old man. Ugh. All he wants to do is fight me and make me feel as tiny and insignificant as possible. Instead of helping me through a difficult time (a divorce, putting my life back together, trying to heal from decades of narcissistic abuse) all he wants to do is sabotage me and hurt me so he can feel superior. When I point out these bad behaviors and why I don't want a relationship with him, he gets furious and threatens me, tries to hold something over my head.
WHO DOES THAT TO THEIR CHILD?
Narcissists are evil. The damage they do is immense.
Thank you, Darren.
Full spectrum dominance nonsense indeed. I appreciate being educated on this, counting down the minutes for this to start!
A sister like this but she picks and chooses whom she attacks and who is spared. I’m now a target. I’m the oldest sibling and this “competition” for dominance has been going on since childhood. She was always protected by our mother. The Golden Child. I tried being her useful “friend” as adults which worked well when I had something to offer her, but once I needed to focus on myself and tried to engage in a more reciprocal relationship it was game on.
She and her husband became involved in right wing politics then I was thrust into an accelerated provocation and devaluation phase. I don’t bring up politics but they insist. Stonewalled me through entire pandemic-I was living alone isolated. She is well aware of shared childhood trauma and all my worries and hurts especially with family belonging and adult children. Now she’s mining my own adult children seeking them as allies to further isolate and punish me. For what? Our parents are now deceased. Very dysfunctional family. Why my own sister I supported emotionally and frequently hosted in my home, is trying to erase me when already marginalized position in my family is beyond callous and cold. Every negative interaction that happens she is found to be somehow involved. Kind of like a Queen Bee holding Court as dominator. Yet acts all cheery and innocent in front of people. Babies and dogs are her go to’s. It’s HORRIBLY frustrating and stressful but nothing I say or do shifts this dynamic. Others seem to either follow her or keep their distance and just silently peel off. Basically i am shut down and shut out as a person of value. If I attempt to speak up at the rare family event we both attend she immediately lashes out negating whatever I’ve said. Then with a smug gotcha or dismissive expression dares me to react. Her husband is also often a target but an ally who defends her behavior too. He is not a citizen so seems there might be a bit of a power differential between them, but both brag about how he’ll never divorce her “no matter what”. I’ve been divorced-my bad. The dominance posturing is so unnecessary, sad and destructive. I concede. Cannot deal with her and her flying monkeys anymore. I’m tired and not getting any younger either.
Oh my gosh. A sibling to a tee. We called her "the instigator". 🤦
And 4:51: "It's as if winning isn't enough, they have to destroy the other person." Yup. My fam.
And people tell you they do it to you because they "love" you sooooooo much. Hate is redefined as "tough love".
From this video, I assume you've met my mother and sister? 😅A wonderful and very validating video, Darren. Thank you!
Ditto 🤣🤣🤣
To see people laugh ..make jokes...despite what they've been through with their "loving" families...surely proves that Daren McGee helps us take different perspective and gradually heal :)
@@oceanaoushn8803 it's true! It takes a lot of time and commitment to the work. Wishing you the best!
Oh boy, when he says " how goes the battle" I know he's not kidding. Was wondering if you could address sabotage, and setting others up to fail to feel superior. Maybe this falls in this catagory.
Yes, I hope that is addressed to. The slyness and coercion to be set up in a failure trap. With enablers as witnesses.
I'm multiply disabled, and have a low but survivable income. My sociopathic cousin is healthy, thickheaded in all ways non - narcissistic, and rich, because his fortune hunting was successful. I learned after the death of an aunt from the other side of the family that my cousin had conducted a campaign of character assassination behind my back to convince my aunt to disinherit me in favor of a rich friend of hers. My cousin didn't need a penny and wasn't going to get one from my aunt's estate. HE JUST WANTED TO DENY ME.
I've come to believe that with some of these people, a Godfather - like response is the only answer: they need to be physically beaten so badly, they learn a lesson. Of course, this is extremely difficult to pull off without getting arrested.
But these people are just overgrown vicious bullies, and a child needs to be taught, however fearful he may be, to punch the bully as hard on the nose as he can.
There is a truly great, little known movie from circa 1980 which deals with this in middle school boys. It's called, "My Bodyguard," and is a truly lovely movie. Its obscurity is maddening to me.
I'm with you. My husband will set up our 27 year old son to look bad to another relative, he spreads lies, creates scenarios our son will look bad in. I don't understand how they think they look good or feel good. Most people feel embarrassment or regret after saying negative things about someone else
Yes please, I'd like to see this one too!
@@bobtaylor170Great movie! Great cast! Including Chris Makepeace, who was also in Meatballs with Bill Murray. 👍
Thank you Darren 🙏 I now have a better understanding of the type of narc I was dealing with.
My next door neighbour. All of the description you said is him. Its terrifyibg and sickening.
Here we go 🎉
I want to thank you for this particular video, it perfectly describes an a hole I've been dealing with for over a year in social situations i can't avoid. Again thank you.
Yesterday My narcissist dad was being atagonistic, agressive and laughs to my younger sister ill it is disgusting.
I know someone with whom it’s near impossible to have a normal conversation as he’ll pluck offence out of nowhere, becoming hypercritical, aggressive and loud…. except in the presence of those he wants to impress, when he’s a yes-man and a sycophant.
He holds grudges and sulks like a child when denied ‘sweeties’, but his revenge is mean and petty rather than overt; it irritates more than hurts.
It’s very difficult to pin the label on the Narcissist, isn’t it?
Sounds like most of Twitter (especially the furry side of it). Especially the finding fault while ignoring their own fault, and attacking and discrediting anyone who points that out. The competitive streak too, I used to be involved with organising events and no matter how much you told some of the other event organisers - 'it's not a competition, I wish you well, we can both win' and refuse to be as competitive as them, they'd drag you in with the drama. It's amazingly toxic. The moral superiority attacks are pervasive - people even make entire RUclips accounts concentrating on "the latest person you're supposed to hate". Crazy how you can't see how toxic it is until you take a step back.
Hi Darren 👋... Everyone 👋
Like children, any attention, even negative, is still attention, and attention is their drug. Narcissists want to be at the center of everything and will do anything to be the center.
Sounds like BPD not NPD… though I know from experiencing my ex, the 2 overlap. You described him 100% with this video. VERY vindictive, zero forgiveness, manipulates with guilt and intimidation, constant punishment, the long term GRUDGES and severe abuse over the tiniest slights…
Everything you said is NPD. BPD is more like CPTSD, they usually constantly had to forgive abusive parents and blame themselves. Narcissistic people on the other hand will never take blame for anything
Is it likely or possible that a narcissist would direct controlling/abusive behavior towards a “loved one” fueled by anger toward a larger entity? ie, I’m thinking racial, ethnic, faith-based…
Thank you Darren F Magee
Thank you Sir, you saving lives here and you explain thoroughly.....thank you so much.Words saves indeed.(South Africa).You are truly intelligent, been listening to you deeply, the world needs people like you. It came to me that there's people who get out of their way to help others psychologically, it is one of the help that people receive in little amounts. I really appreciate people like you.
It makes so much sense! Thankyou!
My mom, the vulnerable narcissist that is somewhat reasonable, should need to hear this story, which is about dad, who is making her life a hell. I'll have to translate it.
Recently, I was seeking help from 3 organisations for foreign woman who are meant to help with immigration or domestic violence. I'm in a loveless abusive marriage and was looking to divorce my British spouse without having to go bk to the US.
The immigration lawer was so cruel from the moment we spoke & and when I had to go into the law firm to meet her in person, she was worse. I thought I was having a slow motion break down of reality or something, because she was very antagonistic and I felt like I was going to cry and couldn't focus. She treated me like I had did something wrong.
It was very bizarre and crazy making. She kept saying because I have no proof, my story isn't believable. I kinda get that, but there's better ways to get that across y'know?
Anyway, after 2 hours of that, I ended up closing the case because dealing with her made me feel ill...it's like she enjoyed it.
PS. She called 2 other organisations and lied on me so they left me blowing in the wind.😔
Blessings Darren! 🙏
Thank you again for your videos, this one was particularly interesting and useful, I feel enlightened - boy, what a journey!
Thank you.
Thanks
My ex had a lot of these traits and his family
"Im Awesome" 🎶 *Spose
I think I might be antagonistic narc - what doesnt kill me makes more vengeful! 😂
this type of psychological operation (&others) has been going on for ooh I dunno' At least the last 3-4 Years very Obviously at this point.
My ex to a t. A psychotherapist no less, very dangerous. I barely got away alive
Well, on the up side, this video makes me appreciate my "merely a CN" spouse.
I don't see any difference with the malignant type. Anyway, it's a portrait of my mother.
I'd love to send this to my mother. I no longer have her phone number. I cut off contact Jan1st. She can take her evil, abuse elsewhere. She has my cousin to abuse. She's been mentally abusing her for years behind her back and also in person. I didn't know how evil a person can be. Evil is not welcome here, "Mommy Dearest". My grandson is OFF LIMITS!!!! These beings are just plain evil and soulless.
I have to know Darren, what is the strange astronaut-like figure behind you. ??
A sand trooper from Star Wars
This is my brother. I no longer speak with him.
💯💯👍🏼
Barry Heaps
While this isn't exactly flattering...this has honestly been me 100%.
-- when narcissistic/emotionally abusive people keep pushing me and pushing me...sometimes I've just *snapped* and out comes a side of myself that I HATE.
_(and I should really know better by now -- but sometimes...nope)_ 😑
I hope people know that having some more sadistic facets to your personality style,
doesn't necessarily mean you're "a bad person".
We aren't monsters because of who we are on the inside...we become monsters because of the things we choose to do on the outside.
Thank you for saying ‘choose to do’
You are describing "reactive" rage which is what happens when a narcissist pushes a victim to far. My neighbors don't talk to me cause they heard me (after 30 years of narcissistic abuse) yell at my spouse. They have no idea what I've experienced. I lost my whole life to narcissists. Sorry they had to hear me yell at my abuser.
Narcissists naturally create more types of narcissists. This is 100% accurate and happened in my family a few times as well
❤️🔥🌞
Maybe it's who the Bible calls "reprobates."
Maybe? Oh you friend hit the nail on the head. God called it out first with words such as “scourners”, “scoffers”, “the wicked”, and “reprobate”. It’s all in there. He makes it crystal how to deal with them.
They are domestic violence masterminds 🤔🥴😅😅😅
Hi Darren, I'm currently facing two cases involving individuals with narcissistic tendencies. The first case involves my ex-husband, from whom I have been legally divorced for 16 years. Despite his marriage and the birth of his son, he continues to stalk me and has even resorted to manipulating my internet connectivity through the assistance of others. He chooses these individuals carefully, as they intercept my phone calls on his behalf. He knows about every move of mine. Although he holds a respectable position in Indian army now, I suspect he may be misusing his power for inappropriate purposes. I believe his behavior aligns with psychopathic traits. I have maintained no contact with him and have no desire to associate with him in any way, yet he persistently engages in obvious stalking behaviors. Recently, he sent me an anniversary message disguised as a commercial text, which only I would recognize as his.
The second case involves a former friend who exhibited similar problematic behavior. Our friendship ended due to unhealthy circumstances. This individual, who is also married and has a child, now engages in solo stalking activities against me. Additionally, he enlists the help of his friends to create a favorable image of himself. After receiving various hints, I eventually discovered that he had hacked into my laptop's camera, allowing him to gain knowledge of my personal details. Astonishingly, I remained friends with him for four years while he monitored me without my awareness. Over time, I have connected the dots, realizing that he is responsible for the ongoing mental stress and harassment I have endured since 2013. His modus operandi involves surreptitiously intruding on my phone calls and subsequently posting about them on his Twitter feed. He employs indirect messaging tactics, attempting to appear clever. Notably, it is not just him but also other friends of him, whom I met through a dating site, that interferes with my calls and collaborates in publicizing them on a third friends Twitter wall. The agenda in positing message on twitter wall is to let me know that he has control on me but to the outside world they all play innocent. Collectively, it is challenging to provide conclusive evidence pointing to their culpability. Im at my peak stage and im unable to handle this nonsense behaviour as i have moved to other town. Both these parties do not allow me to get settle with anyone for marriage, neither let me work because now he's controlling and manipulating my linkedin platform too and im now jobless and unable to post my profile anywhere because they are all over and again playing with me as impersonators. They are playing mind games with me.
I kindly request your advice and guidance on how best to address this distressing situation. I have approached cops now but what i'm unable to give them proofs.