Are YOU an Imposter?! - Therapist Explains!
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2022
- 📺 Need more help? Georgia co-hosts a self-help video series: www.anxiety-videos.com
Do you feel like a fake? A Phoney? An imposter? Psychotherapist Georgia Dow explains why you may be exhibiting "imposter syndrome" and how to deal with it if you are!
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Obligatory Among Us meme.
Sus
Sus x3 uwu
Suspicious 😳
Thank you for being polite about it
One of the most powerful things I ever realized that helped me with my imposter syndrome was the understanding that almost everyone felt the same as me. Very few people actually feel like they have everything under control, or know everything that they're doing- people in general just like to pretend for others that they're in control, just like I myself like to put more put together in front of my coworkers. Once I realized that pretty much everyone is essentially making it up as they go along, it became a lot easier to trust my own judgement and my own experience too, because really that is what everyone is doing- trusting their own imperfect selves and trying to use their best judgement.
Thankyou for sharing! It really help me
My "Imposter Syndrome" came from me being gaslit by the people above me who knew less about my craft than I did. I was on top of the world, making no mistakes in an artistic environment until we moved to a different more calculated, data-driven, method that conflicts with every single one of my intuitions. Now I feel every mistake I make can cost me my job.
So, I get bits and pieces of each of those initial questions in small doses, but the main one that always plagues me is that I receive a lot of adoration and compliments for the projects I work on and I just can't connect those warm words to "me."
I still love what I do because it makes me feel really good to complete the current project and move onto another, but all the good words others say about it just ... comes across as empty. No matter what they say, I struggle with feeling like it is truly meant for me. I look at what I do and keep thinking "There is nothing special being done here. Anyone can pick it up and with enough practice and patience, do exactly what I've done."
I've accepted that this is a thing and that I don't think I will ever feel worthy of the praise, but it won't stop me from taking my passions and continuing to make the things I love making. I make them for me because it makes me feel good to make it and not because others are making me feel good for making it for them.
"but the main one that always plagues me is that I receive a lot of adoration and compliments for the projects I work on and I just can't connect those warm words to "me.""
Yeah, same
“…With a lot of practice and patience..” That’s exactly what makes you a pro. I suspect that feeling is actually driving you onto the next project. Otherwise, you’d quit. But that’s not an option is it? That’s all it is - you know what you’re doing and exploring as you go. That’s a HUGE skill. Sounds like you’re on a good track to me. Yes, it’s scary being out there and leading (by example or however else). I promise you people are complimenting you because they respect that you’re literally physically doing it. Keep it up!!!
I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much, I really connect with what you said
I feel you.
"There is nothing special being done here. Anyone can pick it up and with enough practice and patience, do exactly what I've done."
This is true, but *you* were the one who actually did it. *You* put in the time & energy to get as good as you are now, and that counts for a lot.
The thing is with this is that it's really an antidote to pride and over confidence. It clearly has an evolutionary importance since incompetence can be fatally devastating in some professions. It takes years of experience to create true confidence and it's worth remembering that being cautious is still preferable to being reckless. Especially if people's lives depend on the quality of your work.
This has to be the most eye opening video I’ve seen from you so far. I REALLY appreciate that you included ways to get out of that mindset as well. This was something I needed to hear right now, so thank you.
I appreciate that!
i've had imposter syndrome at work for a very long time, caused by having an overly-critic mentality. Tipping point came when i started holding interviews for positions similar to mine. The moment you realise you've actually been more than good enough the whole time feels so good you want to cry
I understand the video is about imposter syndrome but I cant stop hearing "amogus sus"
I have been feeling like an imposter for sure at my current job. I got promoted to teamleader after only three months and being the newest member of the team, and that put a lot of stress on me. Thought I didn't deserve it because others were there for much longer than I did, questioned what my boss saw in me to promote me. Compliments just bounced off me and I waved them off like it's normal and not worthy of praise. And just like you said in the video, it has lead to depression (thankfully I have a good therapist). I didn't know that one would lead to another, but it did clear up a few things and made me understand myself better. Thank you for this video, it helped a lot!
I used to joke that my impostor syndrome never goes away because it has its own dang theme song (Everyone's Fool by Evanescence, a song that I loved in my childhood in an album that brought me oddly a lot of comfort as a kid, so attachment to not just that song, but the album as a whole) but now instead of destroying myself with harsh self-criticism, I just start playing Everyone's Fool in my head and I have traded off all the work of having to sht talk to myself and condensed it all into that one song, it's like when people say don't give someone or something a name to empower it more, except I gave it a theme song instead and it bit me in the a**.
It was all fun and games until my brain weaponized my own joke against me and took it seriously, now that song kind of just hurts T.T which only serves me doubly ache because I adore that song with the album so much still even though that song personally likes to slice into me every now and again. it also doesn't help that im trying not to let my brain win so I keep listening to it hoping one day I can reclaim that song for the amazing song it is and stop listening to it as a personal jab to my fear of incompetence.
I've always suffered from this. I felt guilty when my boss praised the work I've been doing, feeling like I'm tricking everyone into thinking I know what I'm doing.
That moment when you've been depressed for months and looking up anything to help, then Bam, you hear everything listed off one after another, finally having a name for the problem. Feels good know, but then worrying about the couple problems I didn't even notice till you mentioned them and I look back on them. Fuck, self help is hard.
so what is the opposite of impostor syndrome? the idea that I'm doing a lot more than people think but they downplay the importance or the value of my efforts? the idea that everything's running smoothly and everything's safe and boring because I'm doing everything right and the moment I don't do my job it's extremely noticeable. shoutouts to the IT guys, janitors, teachers, moms, plumbers, electricians, and everyone else who works hard to keep the comfort and sanity. and Yes thank YOU Dr. Dow!
Welcome =)))
Always love you insights and your way of expressing/wording everything, which is one of the reasons I am subscribed and keep coming back for videos.
But, by god, am I envious of your hair! Looks so well kept and it's also about the length I am hoping to get to! Just, damn!
Keep being (generally) awesome!
My mom wasn't that critical and just a little overprotective, but it was often just unnecessary.
And praise was rare. So it always overwhelms me when I'm praised. I don't know what to do with my self in this situation and it's difficult to accept the praise.
I think I have this imposter syndrom, but it's a lot better since I'm aware of it and of course the expirience that others make mistakes too, helps a lot. Working in a company were everyone can feel safe while admitting mistakes helps a lot.
yes and knowing mistakes are okay
Vulnerable narcissism, socially-prescribed perfectionism. There are entire professional cultures that are characterized as fitting into Imposter syndrome. Like a collective narcissism.
Woah. I actually feel like an imposter among them! 😬
Sus
sus
Thank you, I needed to hear it
Huh.... This makes alot of things so much clearer now. Thanks 👍
I struggle with the imposter syndrom these days a LOT as I got into my first proper job and suddenly yours video pops up wow. Thank you Georgia...so insightful
I love your videos, and you seem like such an amazing empathic person! I first saw your arcane videos( which are amazing ), it's one of the most amazing shows I have watched!
I have BPD and Social anxiety, grew up with an alone mother with BPD and you're so spot on what you are saying!
Love your content, and wish you the best!
These videos have become a therapy sesión for me. Thank you. Btw I’m loving your hair! ✨
i really love your videos. keep up the good work and you have a such a calm voice it's something nice.
Thank you so much!
Your videos are always so interesting. I cant wait to see what you will release next :)
Glad you like them!
I just want to say your videos are extremely well made and educational. I've always wanted to understand what makes me, who I am. From this video and the video you made on VI in arcane I've realized that I suffer from pretty strong imposter syndrome but my parents definitely were not the cause or at least they don't match the examples you gave. I'm always so scared to do or apply for jobs because I'm so fearful of that moment people realize I am the person I think of myself. I'm also extremely creative and good at the things I build and make and often get praised for them. so i use them for the validation I require. I also went through a phase of drinking and one night stands because that was another area I could get validation that people could want me.
Also I have a strong avoidance reaction to conflict and pain. When I get angry or hurt I completely shut down. I can hear myself screaming in my head in anger at myself to just speak, react do or say something. but I cant. I cant even mumble or form the most basis sounds for fear that I make the conflict or pain worse. and it makes people believe I just don't care. and can sometimes ruin relationships.
Its actually a real strong relief to identify these things in your videos and other people.
thank you for sharing and being a part of my community. I am happy it helped that is what I hope for
your video really spoke to me and when i read the comments i realized that a lot of people like myself included have the same problem. what really caught my attention was the thing you said about seeing your self worth in your achievements. this was the key point of your video for me.
i mean thats how my social life is based on actually. outside of my circle of close friends and family i present myself to others with my "labels and accomplishments". thats why despite my very social personality i have problems connecting to people in a general level. becuz i base my worth on the things i DO if in any case i do a job not PERFECTLY im constantly anxious others gonna judge me as someone not worth it. this type of thinking kinda leads to perfectionism as well i think.
i really wish you would make more video on this topic and about the ways to overcome this problem.
thank you for your very informative video
with lots of love😍🥰
Anxiety "dash" videos...with a theatrical technique suggesting "dashing" and a big smile. Love it.
hehe
Thanks…I enjoyed your video and gained more knowledge. Blessings on your day!
Thank you! You too!
Thank you for being smart.
This hits hard. I often read articles and watch videos from people in my profession that are a LOT more experienced than I am. I do it to learn from them, but often it makes me feel like a noob that has no business pretending to know anything. I know that my experience and knowledge is worthy of what I do and the amount I charge for my services, but I think I know just enough to know the vast amount that I don't know!
Oh my gosh, this is a real eye-opener! A lot of these points are how I feel in my new promotion. It feels like someone will realise they gave the job to the wrong person... I didn't realise this was a 'thing' let alone that it has a name. Thank you x
welcome
Yes, yes, yes. All true to me. As an artist it hits even double if not triple. I needed this. Came to the right moment. Thank you. ♥️
This spoke to me on a SIGNIFICANTLY deeper level than I expected. I've never heard of imposter syndrome outside of high profile jobs. I honestly am on disability income (officially it's specific mental disorders i have) because I feel like this even working retail so significantly that I just live in a constant panicked state when I've had jobs (I didn't feel it when I volunteered in a daycare though oddly enough). I didn't know what I was feeling was imposter syndrome. This makes explaining myself and bettering myself much easier.
I am so happy to hear how to helped you Raven =) thank you for sharing and I hope things are going well for you.
Yes... I feel some of this I just have to stop and take a moment like you say, and not down play myself.
Very helpful thank you 😊
wonderful Grimm =) keep being kind to you plz
@@GeorgiaDow it's a struggle 😅, and thank for the kind words
As soon as you explained the syndrom… my jaw dropped down to the floor. I never would have thought, that I fit the description soooo well… 🥺
knowing is most of the battle
@@GeorgiaDow thank you so much for your work. This means a lot. 🙏
Hi Georgia! I could relate to a lot of questions. I've compared myself with others and downplayed my accomplishments as well as worry about what others have thought. But, I also agree that allowing room for failure definitely helps. I also have heard about how important gratitude is - and I can see how taking time to reflect on things we did well each day can help too. :) Great and relatable video, Georgia :) You always do a nice job.
I'm looking forward to watching your video about Vander (Hoping to see it this upcoming weekend) :). Have a great day! :).
Gratitude is so healthy! Hope you enjoy the vander video
@@GeorgiaDow It absolutely is :) I'm sure I will. :) Hope you're having a great one :).
As a snooker player, Author[writer) and a wheelchair user, this video speaks to me!
Awesome for you and I wish you the best
((hugs)) THX for all you do, lady
Hugs back at ya Ant =))
i would really really love to see you review she-ra!! the characters are very complex and i have been dying to hear what such a thoughtful person like you thinks about it. Catra is a character i really relate to, so hearing you talk about her would be super inersestuing to me personally :)
Got this is coming at such a great time for me. I just realized a couple weeks ago I'm dealing with imposter syndoym in me. I was promoted to IT because I know a lot about computers. But I have zero formal training and there is no documentation on things at my current job. I got tossed in with a salute and a good luck. I've been trying to focus on my acmplismtents, but it's nice to hear some more ways to handle this little demon. Thank you Georgia!
welcome I hope it helps
Thank You.
Welcome!
Hey Georgia! I love your videos! They are so insightful and i really feel like i learn so much about my self. Keep up the good work, i am truely a fan. I was wondering if you would consider react to Ellie in The Last Of Us 2,? Theres so many topics coming to light. Especially how Ellie is the way she is today, after experiencing deep trauma. And after losing so many people she love, like what happens in your brain when this cycle keep happening? Truely thank you so much for your content. Have a nice day/evening. :)
I will be covering last of us and soon actually
Tank you, just knowing its not normal helped alot, like im certified electrician, and i have freaking europian diploma on that, i never thought i was good enough, to acually work in that field. Now i know, i have to aim higher, and remember mistakes make everyone. Well just tank you.
P.S. You helped with this video, like for a lot of people.
On another note, thank you for this video, I was a "Combat Medic" or health care specialist, within two weeks of being out of training I had a platoon of infantrymen that I was attached to, it took three days before I lost my first soldier, and all of what was covered in this video hit me incredibly hard. There was no combat, but plenty of situations where I feel like I couldnt give soldiers the resources they needed from me, it was a nightmare.
I hope you are doing well now
Thank you for this video. I knew a little bit about Imposter Syndrome. I am not sure if it is from my family or my ADHD or both but it is helpful.
I am on an up and down journey now. Getting better but it is hard. But one quote i thought of was that I am aiming for progression, not perfection.
Being in the military and depending which job you have in the military, this is such a hard one to break sometimes.
I definitely experienced this in a particular job I once held because my leadership had failed me and others because that leader was busy grooming the ones they liked as if they could do no wrong while others, like myself at times, were constantly berated.
I had a leader who nearly broke me morally that I had lost most confidence in myself until I met a leader who stepped up to the challenge to help me out of it and he kept assuring me that, yes, I know my job (that I was in at the time).
Every next episode about syndrom - > Yes, i totally have it.
You described me to 100%. I hate my flight mode turnimg on when I am trying to find sources for my Master Thesis and I realise it's not going to be so easy or as fast as I thought/hoped it would, and then I panic, because I on the one hand want to find a good source that gives me everything fast, as I don't want to commit to it, and on the other side, I start opening 20 more tabs with articles and studies, because I think I need to go deeper and deeper into the subject so as to not disappoint my corrector (and myself) and to not get a worse grade than I want (which is a perfect grade and it's so fkn STUPID, but studying Psychology in Germany (a.k.a. a lot of pressure to write good grades because everyone does it, the profs literally ingrained this into us from the first lecture on) + my general personality structure don't work together well), and then in the end I freeze with a cry attack, or I literally have to get up and run off the nervous energy or distract myself with SOMETHING, because this feeling of being overwhelmed and unable to do something right gets too much.
I knew that studying Psychology wouldn't help me a bit with my issues, but hey, again the Imposter Syndrome kicks in: "I have studied this, I should generally know and be able to manage myself. I should be an expert in this. I don't feel like I am, so I'm not going to do a job in Psychology, I'm not good in it."
Weeeeee~
Love you Georgia!
This one really hurt because it was like having myself totally described.
Thank you
You should react to chloe price from life is strange! Also i love your videos so much your voice is so comforting.
Oh my God! That would be so cool. I was thinking the same thing, but I didn't know what to believe about reacting to video games because you need time to finish them ( Life is Strange is totally worth it, this will always be my favourite game)
@@iuli3097 life is strange is so good!
@@levconway9435 Yeaaahh! I played the game for the first time nearly 2 years ago and I still think about the characters and all that happens in the game. Life is Strange will always be dear to me
It's somewhat entertaining, I've felt some impostor syndrom at my current employment, I jumped into work straight out of high school and as a very rational and analytical person, i realize that I am very much an uneducated person in the field, but by now I've been there for 3 years and since I work with critical testing my words have weight when I give out orders to my co-workers and with experience doing it I also have weight behind my words when I speak about how something looks. This conflicts with the self image I had about the circumstances I entered the workplace and I just have to adapt to the idea that I have gained experience.
How related is this to perfectionist or ADHD?
Very informative video :)
Imposter Syndrome is common in us ADHDers.
hi georgia i love your content! can you do a video on addictive personality disorder it’s affected my family very deeply and i would love to understand it tysm 💕💕
ill add it to my list of videos to do
I... needed to hear all of this ♥ I listen to all your works and you're such a great, informative and caring person adgksdg thank you and keep it up ♥
I'm so glad!
It’s a confidence thing. So many people are “faking it until they’re making it”. Mostly that’s what they’re doing. Worrying about it being personal is a big crutch. I have it too… But we can’t worry too much about things we can’t control, like other people.
we often care too much
I know I feel this way about my major when I don’t do well on an assignment, quiz, or exam. Like I feel that maybe I’m not as upset to the task as people think I am.
I have been supsicious of having Impostor syndrome and now everything just makes so much sense. I never would have guessed that it wasn't entirely because of me.
My goodness.... This is all me ...it kinda hurts to hear this...
Loving the twin tales. Very cute.
tehehe thanks for noticing and liking them
Yeah,I feel outed,what if you got all 3 kinda parents and on top of being a perectionist,and constantly overthink and criticize myself and am very hard on myself
You should do a break down on the peacemaker character in the new peace maker show
I've had very encouaging and affirmative people around me, all my life, so the only area in my life, where I tend to feel like an impostor, is my medical history. I'm dealing with multiple chronic physical conditions, that also affect my mobility. Years of medical gaslighting have led to me doubting whether I'm even "ill enough" or "disabled enough" to be even mentioning anything, when I have a really bad health day, or ask for the help that I need. I push through most days, but overdoing it will almost always backfire and end up costing me days of being functional. I try to be more assertive now when talking to medical professionals and tell them about the devastating effects that playing down a patients concerns again and again can have on those patients, to the point where they will be scared to seek out the treatment they require. Or on the flip side they might try any treatment that is made available to them, even if, to others, it seems obvious to be a fake "cure" to leech off of vulnerable people, but they'll try it anyway, because they'll at least feel heard there.
I would be really interested to hear your opinion on things like medical trauma and gaslighting. Love your approach on this ❤
It can also be like being really different from what the society want us to be but still being integrated inside the society. That's a really strange feeling.
Just noticed while I whatched one of your older vidéos, your more recent one have a soft white blur and you stand further away from the camera and somehow it makes the whole thing less "aggressiv" ? (not sure that is the word) but it helps creating this relaxing mood :) thank you for that 😊👍
trying to do a better job with them. thank you for noticing
Cried watching this. I excel at school and most people getting good grades would probably celebrate but first thing I think of is I didn't do enough to deserve this or the next time how will i live upto this it was sheer luck and unfair ability to be able to learn that quickly. Unfortunately nobody gets it
Time for the part of the day where I spend time going "oh... *OH* "
Your video is really good. Too good. now i'm feeling like shit and can't finish watching...
I'm not good enough to have imposter syndrome, LOL Total Incompetence for the win! Wooooo!
I always excelled at school BUT it's the only thing I was ever good at... So I feel like I'm not good enough to do other things... Imposter syndrome realness here...
I thought I had impostor syndrome, but then I realized I was probably faking it and I'm not good enough for that.
Brilliant ... too good a comment
i also sometimes while doing my tasks feel like there is an imposter among us
Why do I feel like I relate to a lot of your videos….
I've been going through this very thing for years now while in college. I feel no matter how much I learn or try I'll never know enough to be on par with everyone else in the room or in life. Even when I've been given praise about my work or ideas, I can internalize it but then I doubt myself again because I think they're not seeing what I see.
I know that I have intelligence beyond the average person, but the second I step into a room with other objectively intelligent people I just doubt I'll stack up.
I know I need to work on things to make myself better and then I beat myself up for not dedicating time to seriously learn it. I know the problem but I'm not doing anything about it either.
Idk.. life
Great I've just found that I'm dealing with imposter syndrome too.
Anyway, I believe the Mother's ALL syndromes is Anxiety 😔
This channel has @ me more times than I can count
Also holy crap my parents had all 3 types
I think i have it because i grew up with a father that would call me useless every time i didn't understand my math homework when he explained it once, and my mom wouldn't say anything, and a grandmother that would overprotect me from everything ( i'm 35 years old and i'm still scared of going out alone).
I hope it gets better. I am sorry you went through that
me in a nutshell, people are always telling me I'm an amazing programmer, so kind of guru that they always come to, I've never considered myself much above average. The amount of roles I've not gone for because I don't think I'd live up to it, slightly ironic in that I spend half my time trying to build others up. The truth is probably that even moving somewhere better being a bit of the pace is still better than whittling away in a job that sucks, just wish I could convince myself of what I know. I've always been a procrastinator, and it totally stems from the overwhelming fear of failing over the success of whatever; CBT has been really helpful, and I'm starting to break the cycle.
and that is probably because you are an amazing programmer
So much of how others see us is comparative though.
the way i see it it's simple: do you often sneak through vents? do you maim your co-workers and then pretend you didn't? do you accuse others as not to get caught?
if you answered no, good news! you're not an imposter!
if you answered yes to any one of these... sus.
in all seriousness, this video was concise and really put the vicious cycle i feel into words. i've gotten better at stopping the spiral sooner when i catch onto what's happening and acknowledging all the things i got right, even on a down day or when i can't focus, helps a lot.
In so many ways, I’ve tried to seek therapy. But my mom looks down at it, saying that they’ll put ideas in my head, but I’ve come to a conclusion I really need therapy or just to talk to someone. Someone that isn’t my family. A lot of therapist in my region aren’t that well though. Kinda losing hope
No one is perfect, no one!!!!! 😂😂😂
i wish i could tag the person who needs to hear this
;w; we’re not friends or anything bc they’re a creator, but they 100% have this and i wish they would see this…universe, do ur thing
wow, thanks for this and yes i'm an imposter
I can't remember specifically how my parents raised me but what I can say for certain is that I constantly compare myself to others way too much, not unknown people online but friends and people I know in person, for example I play drums in several bands but as I'm self taught I feel like I'm nowhere near the skill level that bandmembers portray me as and will ultimately let them down. It's also stopped me from making videos on youtube because I get in my head thinking "I have an idea but it's been done a hundred times and I have nothing new to offer" so I never bother.
Fun times haha
I guess I might have imposter syndrome, holy heck this is really weird to know a little too much more about myself and an issue I thought I never had
I have a weird issue that when i put effort and care about something i usually fail .
After a while i stop caring if i fail or not and stop giving any interest and so far over a span of many years i noticed that if i don't care i do an excellent job.
Be it work, relationships or whatever the second i dont care i do a perfect job but the second i put interest or effort it usually goes sideways.
I always thought impostor syndrome was that feeling you get. . . As if you're in a fancy ballroom but you have cool club cloths on? That feeling of "I'm in the wrong play" like you have the script for Shrek but the setting is Madagascar. Things are correct and in the same universe but you've walked into the Employees only section.
Or maybe we're talking about the same thing. "Ooohhh I'm not supposed to be here." "I hope I don't get cought."
Yeah I think we're talking about the same thing.
I'm glad I don't get that feeling often. Only when I'm really in an employee only area.
I really appreciate your videos, they help me so much, but I'm really sad because I'm Italian and most of my friends than need to see them too don't understand English. Can you allow to suggest subtitles in other languages? I will be glad to translate in Italian!
Is there a way to regain a healthy level of empathy?
thanks for the tutorial now i can be a sussy amongus impostor
I am the youngest person not just on my team but at my entire job - I need help with everything. I know it's normal because I have a lot to learn but it's so easy to think that I'm an idiot and I don't belong there and eventually they're gonna figure it out and fire me. x.x I started my career laters than others due to health issues so now all my former peers have better/more advanced jobs. It's hard not to feel incapable of growing when I'm still at entry level after so many years.
I hope you can see how talented you must be to be able to do all of that
I don't know if this is the best place to share my experience but
I grew up with both an imposter's syndrom (because I was bullied as a child, and so much pressure coming from my family... and in the end myself) and a superiority complex because I've always been extremely academically talented (even today in university). It's horrifying to just be wondering whether you're a genius surrounded by idiots or a piece of crap amidst a river of gold. So I always procrastinate because I know I'm gifted and can make it quickly but secretely I hope I won't have the time and everyone will finally discover I'm a failure.
It really is an every-day struggle.
i hope you work through that and you learn you can be good enough as you are and not feel that pressure to live up to expectations.
Aw hello
You should analyze and react to Ellie’s PTSD from The Last of Us: Part 2!
*sees all boxes are checked* …oh😀
Could Imposter Syndrome count if you feel like you had been diagnosed wrong?
I was in a car accident, 2012, and hit my head. Not the first time I hit my head as a kid tho. But I started to get worst grade and begun feeling more aggressive at home. Some doctors did some test and diagnosed me with brain fatigue.
But because it's something psychical it's hard to know if I have brain fatigue or if I'm just lazy.
Would it count as having Imposter Syndrome?
sounds like you had a concussion not that you are lazy at all