Really liked the points that were raised, except the one about someone losing focus on the conversation. Don't get me wrong that are people that fit perfectly what you described, but even if it makes a bad first impression, it can be someone not used to going out (and are anxious) or someone with some level of ADHD. Again have gone out with both possibilities, there is a difference, but it's more on the reaction when the comeback to focus. Possibly being more caring , or saying sorry for losing focus (Just from personal experience, I'm far from a professional) .
As a neurodiverse individual, it's also good to keep in mind is that some of us relate to things in the first person, so a story about us relating could be construed as one-upsmanship. A minor addition, but then again, dating as a neurodiverse individual is a whole 'nother video.
"they're going to treat me differently, though" You never think you're going to end up on a good friend's/loved one's bad side, but due to this one alone, I wish I had made some distance when it was easier to do so U_U
ty for this!! I’m always worried to not show too needy to my friends and at the same time not looking cold! this videos makes me think than maybe I just need to enjoy company
Extremely important and useful information (especially about watching how someone treats those who are in a position of service - i.e.: waiters). Thank you for that!
Really great content, Georgia, thank you! Improving ability to interact (and as you point out, observe interactions) are areas I must work on. This video helps a lot!
@@GeorgiaDow It was one of your specific warning signs. Basically, the one trait all of my seriously damaging exes all seemed to have in common that I couldn't quite seem to put my finger on. This video helped me kind of find that trait, that little insight, and now, I think I can spot it and avoid it from now on.
Hello Georgia and thank you for this channel! I have my top 2 "kick-ass" things that you actually mention on the video. 1. The way we speak about other people. I once heard a colleague expressing his opinion about our boss in such a disgusting way that I immediately tackled "So this is how you'll talk about me (or the team) in the future...."; 2. If the person turns into a spoiled one, and their wants and needs are opposite to mine, they're out of my life. Thank you for posting your videos!
Thank you for making this video!! So straight to the point and informative. It hits hard because we encounter these situations all the time. Sometimes we ourselves cause the problems. Knowledge!
I (mostly) read those things pretty good...(I can be obtuse ;) BUT...I see a girl...I see some warning signs...I see people dumping on/avoiding/ignoring her...I see some effort on her part to change and others do not accept that...and I can't stand to see that pain. Sometimes getting involved works out well....including the fact that they don't have to stay with me for it to work out well. Relationships are sometimes stepping stones. If they're happier elsewhere, great! Then there are those who at some point unleash their diabolical-ness on me. Sometimes when you're trying to be of loving service, you get hurt. Spoiler alert: It comes with the territory. But one doesn't need to reenter a toxic relationship...over and over. Or return to an abusive and destructive circumstance. And it is allowed to feel true pain and sorrow from shattering experiences at the hand of another. Anguish is real. But it can be healed.
"How do they treat wait staff" #1 indicator of a persons character. A lot of people that are currently in power were assuming they were entitled to that power due to their family connections. Strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create bad times, bad times create strong men. Man / woman, whatever. We're in the weak men making bad times period at the moment.
I get accused of trying to "one up" when my friends tell me about their problems and issues, but I always thought it was a form of empathy? When Charlotte goes on about her dreadful day at work, I will wait a bit and go "Yeah, I have this crazy bitch I have to work with too, ugh, she is so annoying. So i know what you mean." is that bad?
I think people have different kinds of way of connecting. So while that might be a way of empathy for you, and you might want people to empathize with you, people are different. Some people might just want validation, others just want you to listen and say mostly nothing, some people want to get tips or way to solve it, some want a perspective shift, some just want to hear back the opinion they already have about the matter with a different voice than theirs. If it bothers them, you can say something like "I have had similar things happen to me... and I know how rough it is". Emphasize the fact that you understand and empathize, more than saying what happened. There is no need to give details, just let them know you have been there and therefore understand what the person is going through, and that is it.
I think the difference is if you are saying I have one of those at my work too I'm sorry your have to del with it too. Are you ok? vs well my nasty coworker is worse than yours.
I'm afraid of people assuming that I'm trying to do that, so while mentally I am trying to find a memory that felt similar, most of the times I'll just be quiet or say "oh that's bad" 🥲 I suck at comforting people.
The attachment aspect reminds me of a person I nearly dated....she has this best friend who is extremely clingy and super attached to her to the point where said person is held back by her..... every weekend she has off and day has to be spent with her or else and if said person does anything without her oh boy.
Well I just Ask "how are you?", of course they answered it, however, the important thing is when they ask you back the same question. It's a perfect glimp to know the person in front of you and believe me you can save a lot of heaches. 😉
Ah! Thank you for this. My dad has ADHD according to his therapist friend. Recently, I've been wondering if he might be narcissistic but he's missing some major NPD symptoms.
YES exactly !! i know when people tell me things about them, my brain instantly grabs an experience i've had thats similar - but it's *to better relate to them* !! it's my brain's way of saying "oh yeah! me too! just like THIS - i understand what you're talking about!", with the full expectation that they do the same, and not something intending to be one-sided. i picture it like i've brought this huge bag of weird things for show-and-tell, because something might be relevant or helpful or fun to show them; the only problem is that, while i'd be happy with us both dumping our whole bags out on the table and passing everything back and forth, lots of people don't function like that, so i try to slow down and take out one thing at a time and maybe ask them nicely if they have something to share after each thing i share, etc. lol
@@clegs8356 that's a great way to explain that! i want to show that i really do relate to them and that i'm not simply being polite. i'm not doing it to one-up. when i'm going through especially a tough time, it helps me a lot when i hear other people share about going through the same or something similar. it makes me feel less alone. but you're right, not everybody functions like that. i'll have to be more aware of that.
I just noticed I clench my fist alot.....even around friends and loved ones I'm confused as to why I'm doing this and I'm more aware of it now and I'm trying not to do it Also my girl told me that it looks like I'm ready to fight when Im walking or just standing still.....but that's not even going threw my mind.....and if I am thinking about something its usually about work or stuff I need to get done I don't like it tho it makes me think I'm inadvertently intimidating people around me
From listening to the first few minutes I already would advise my boyfriend to break up with me. I am actually quite confused that he didn't already....
I have a question. If I'm close with someone who shows some narcissistic traits (such as doing the one-up thing from time to time, or their response to my story often being about them or what they think, even when I didn't ask) How can I help them work on this without accusing them of being narcissistic? Is it something they can work on? Where does this kind of behavior usually stem from?
I loved Batman the Animated series. There are two eqisodes I would love to see your reaction to season 2 episode 9 *Baby Doll.* About a woman who doesn't physically show her age and is stuck looking like a 5 year old. The other is *Mad Love* about Harley Quinn and the Joker. How toxic and one sided their relationship is.
PLEASE REACT EUPHORIA (HBO max) !!! has many important topics, such as: abusive relationship, addiction, drugs, childhood traumas, fatphobia, relationships app, leaked intimate photos... Love your videos♥️
I really loved your videos. They've done a lot for me, as I believe they've done for others. Whether you're reviewing characters within a series or just having some real talk I appreciate your uploads a lot. Would you ever consider going through the characters within Berserk or Metal Gear Solid?
Narcissists: like talking about themselves. Me: likes learning about others cause I don’t like myself. 😅 I know it’s a serious thing, but honestly, I’m always initiating conversation with my friend at work cause I don’t like talking about myself. Also, I do think the early stages of my relationship with my friend may have started as an attachment issue. I constantly go to lunch with her at the same time, talk to her all the time, and drive her home a lot (her car’s transmission blew out) because she lives near me. Would that be considered an attachment issue? 😮
Thank you so much Georgia .. I have narcissist issues myself .. trying to solve it in time .. really hate to bother other ppl with it .. but is always good to hear the truth from someone like u. That do the best for our planet and stupid humans like me .. haha Thank you. 😊
I honestly wish it was more normal to just be up front with potential life partners about our good AND bad qualities that we are aware of that will likely impact the relationship on first, second, and third dates. Being on the autism spectrum myself, I will say that many of us are blunt and up front and will likely be chill with this to some extent, but it'd be nice if this was the norm for everyone. No one wants to waist their time on someone when it could have been addressed early on if not for our odd social expectations.
I looked for a dragon scale shirt lol and this came up and ordrered it from a store I never heard of cause I had to have it lol. I dont remember even =P thank you for appreciating and being a part of my community. I appreciate your constant support
Yes i see this... And i also see these things in peeps that dont fit this .. Shy, lonely, deprived, despered, empatic, emotional ... How woud you aid infp's .. They give some of the most mixed complex messages.. "miss undertood!" For life... Like ower explaining "presived narsisist" ower correcting.. Or deep in thouth... Portraid as not listening or interested.... And in reality someting else entierly .. (i find it hard to dile or tune .. Expression so it woud be reseaved the way.. I ment or mean by it) .. And i get sad .. When i blunder and get groud down .. "truing to do or be good" mostly there is just too much complexity to exspress in words or expressions that woud be simple enouf to understand .. (so having to ower simplify your feeling gets messy).. 😢"hoping to not ower simplify others" .... And having a real hard time not to delete my comment ..
Or derailing your train of thought to make a pedantic correction that doesn't even relate to what you were talking about. This forces you to either argue with them, or ignore them which will give them permission to take offense.
Really liked the points that were raised, except the one about someone losing focus on the conversation.
Don't get me wrong that are people that fit perfectly what you described, but even if it makes a bad first impression, it can be someone not used to going out (and are anxious) or someone with some level of ADHD.
Again have gone out with both possibilities, there is a difference, but it's more on the reaction when the comeback to focus. Possibly being more caring , or saying sorry for losing focus (Just from personal experience, I'm far from a professional) .
What are some signs that u mentioned for adhd? Sometimes it think I have it but I’m not really impulsive, I’m pretty introverted and reclusive
As a neurodiverse individual, it's also good to keep in mind is that some of us relate to things in the first person, so a story about us relating could be construed as one-upsmanship. A minor addition, but then again, dating as a neurodiverse individual is a whole 'nother video.
I like the scaled gown, very regal looking
why thank you = ) my fav
"they're going to treat me differently, though" You never think you're going to end up on a good friend's/loved one's bad side, but due to this one alone, I wish I had made some distance when it was easier to do so U_U
I love how you’re using your background in psychology to make RUclips content
In addition to whatever else she does with her life ^^"
THOSE CLOTHES LOOK SO GOOD
Thank you ! one of my favs
5:58 this attachement section reminds me about Ross and Rachel from Friends.
ty for this!! I’m always worried to not show too needy to my friends and at the same time not looking cold! this videos makes me think than maybe I just need to enjoy company
I wish I would have watched this or known this a decade ago. It could have saved me a lot of trouble. Thanks for the video!
I'm relatively a psychoanalyst myself anf HOLY did this shed light on my own personal nasrcissism. Anger
management and all
Extremely important and useful information (especially about watching how someone treats those who are in a position of service - i.e.: waiters). Thank you for that!
Really great content, Georgia, thank you! Improving ability to interact (and as you point out, observe interactions) are areas I must work on. This video helps a lot!
You just answered a question I have been trying to find the words for since I was 19. I am 35 now.
Consider your subscription well earned.
Wow was it specifically the personality warning signs or something else ?
@@GeorgiaDow It was one of your specific warning signs. Basically, the one trait all of my seriously damaging exes all seemed to have in common that I couldn't quite seem to put my finger on. This video helped me kind of find that trait, that little insight, and now, I think I can spot it and avoid it from now on.
Hello Georgia and thank you for this channel! I have my top 2 "kick-ass" things that you actually mention on the video. 1. The way we speak about other people. I once heard a colleague expressing his opinion about our boss in such a disgusting way that I immediately tackled "So this is how you'll talk about me (or the team) in the future...."; 2. If the person turns into a spoiled one, and their wants and needs are opposite to mine, they're out of my life. Thank you for posting your videos!
Thank you for making this video!! So straight to the point and informative. It hits hard because we encounter these situations all the time. Sometimes we ourselves cause the problems. Knowledge!
This video has helped highlight so many things about people I’ve both dated and been friends with.
I (mostly) read those things pretty good...(I can be obtuse ;) BUT...I see a girl...I see some warning signs...I see people dumping on/avoiding/ignoring her...I see some effort on her part to change and others do not accept that...and I can't stand to see that pain. Sometimes getting involved works out well....including the fact that they don't have to stay with me for it to work out well. Relationships are sometimes stepping stones. If they're happier elsewhere, great! Then there are those who at some point unleash their diabolical-ness on me. Sometimes when you're trying to be of loving service, you get hurt. Spoiler alert: It comes with the territory. But one doesn't need to reenter a toxic relationship...over and over. Or return to an abusive and destructive circumstance. And it is allowed to feel true pain and sorrow from shattering experiences at the hand of another. Anguish is real. But it can be healed.
"How do they treat wait staff" #1 indicator of a persons character.
A lot of people that are currently in power were assuming they were entitled to that power due to their family connections. Strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create bad times, bad times create strong men. Man / woman, whatever. We're in the weak men making bad times period at the moment.
I get accused of trying to "one up" when my friends tell me about their problems and issues, but I always thought it was a form of empathy? When Charlotte goes on about her dreadful day at work, I will wait a bit and go "Yeah, I have this crazy bitch I have to work with too, ugh, she is so annoying. So i know what you mean." is that bad?
I think people have different kinds of way of connecting. So while that might be a way of empathy for you, and you might want people to empathize with you, people are different. Some people might just want validation, others just want you to listen and say mostly nothing, some people want to get tips or way to solve it, some want a perspective shift, some just want to hear back the opinion they already have about the matter with a different voice than theirs.
If it bothers them, you can say something like "I have had similar things happen to me... and I know how rough it is". Emphasize the fact that you understand and empathize, more than saying what happened. There is no need to give details, just let them know you have been there and therefore understand what the person is going through, and that is it.
Oh, I do this too. I don't try to make it 'about me', I just try to relate to them. But I see how people can assume the former :/
I think the difference is if you are saying I have one of those at my work too I'm sorry your have to del with it too. Are you ok? vs well my nasty coworker is worse than yours.
I'm afraid of people assuming that I'm trying to do that, so while mentally I am trying to find a memory that felt similar, most of the times I'll just be quiet or say "oh that's bad" 🥲
I suck at comforting people.
When I empathize with someone about a situation I start with 'I understand or I feel you' and then tell them about my experience.
I find this one really interesting and good to know.
I hope I don't have the one up thing I really don't want like it about myself
I'd love to see you do a therapist react to Infinity War and Endgame focused on Thanos and his psychology
Another excellent video. Love the top! So "Game of Throwns"! 🙂
The attachment aspect reminds me of a person I nearly dated....she has this best friend who is extremely clingy and super attached to her to the point where said person is held back by her..... every weekend she has off and day has to be spent with her or else and if said person does anything without her oh boy.
Your shirt looks soooo good!
yay thanks
Well I just Ask "how are you?", of course they answered it, however, the important thing is when they ask you back the same question.
It's a perfect glimp to know the person in front of you and believe me you can save a lot of heaches. 😉
There’s a delicate balance
I would just caveat that ADHD'rs do very similar things to narcists but for very different and less sinister reasons haha.
Ah! Thank you for this. My dad has ADHD according to his therapist friend. Recently, I've been wondering if he might be narcissistic but he's missing some major NPD symptoms.
@Eric Hagen haha yes. They know each other from community work. He doesn't see her for therapy.
YES exactly !! i know when people tell me things about them, my brain instantly grabs an experience i've had thats similar - but it's *to better relate to them* !!
it's my brain's way of saying "oh yeah! me too! just like THIS - i understand what you're talking about!", with the full expectation that they do the same, and not something intending to be one-sided.
i picture it like i've brought this huge bag of weird things for show-and-tell, because something might be relevant or helpful or fun to show them; the only problem is that, while i'd be happy with us both dumping our whole bags out on the table and passing everything back and forth, lots of people don't function like that, so i try to slow down and take out one thing at a time and maybe ask them nicely if they have something to share after each thing i share, etc. lol
@@clegs8356 that's a great way to explain that! i want to show that i really do relate to them and that i'm not simply being polite. i'm not doing it to one-up. when i'm going through especially a tough time, it helps me a lot when i hear other people share about going through the same or something similar. it makes me feel less alone. but you're right, not everybody functions like that. i'll have to be more aware of that.
I Definitely took more away from this video than just this. But just wanted to say that shirt is really cool.
thank you its one of my Favs
This was super next-level helpful, thank you!
your sweater is fire
Thank you for creating videos they are always helpful and give me a new perspective on the world
Glad you like them!
Thank you for making this video. I really struggle with people & this helps a lot
Great content! I want to know more about how to see people’s micro-expressions.
I just noticed I clench my fist alot.....even around friends and loved ones
I'm confused as to why I'm doing this and I'm more aware of it now and I'm trying not to do it
Also my girl told me that it looks like I'm ready to fight when Im walking or just standing still.....but that's not even going threw my mind.....and if I am thinking about something its usually about work or stuff I need to get done
I don't like it tho it makes me think I'm inadvertently intimidating people around me
The last person I saw had a lot of these red flags, and I keep ignoring them. Hindsight is 20/20.
From listening to the first few minutes I already would advise my boyfriend to break up with me.
I am actually quite confused that he didn't already....
I have a question. If I'm close with someone who shows some narcissistic traits (such as doing the one-up thing from time to time, or their response to my story often being about them or what they think, even when I didn't ask) How can I help them work on this without accusing them of being narcissistic? Is it something they can work on? Where does this kind of behavior usually stem from?
usually people won't change unless they want to, So you can let them know gently but if they decide to work on it is another issue
I loved Batman the Animated series. There are two eqisodes I would love to see your reaction to season 2 episode 9 *Baby Doll.* About a woman who doesn't physically show her age and is stuck looking like a 5 year old.
The other is *Mad Love* about Harley Quinn and the Joker. How toxic and one sided their relationship is.
PLEASE REACT EUPHORIA (HBO max) !!! has many important topics, such as: abusive relationship, addiction, drugs, childhood traumas, fatphobia, relationships app, leaked intimate photos... Love your videos♥️
GD this outfit thooooo I love it 😍
Aren't you rather your soul ? And the personality is part of you? 5:07
I really loved your videos. They've done a lot for me, as I believe they've done for others. Whether you're reviewing characters within a series or just having some real talk I appreciate your uploads a lot.
Would you ever consider going through the characters within Berserk or Metal Gear Solid?
ooh metal gear who knows
Narcissists: like talking about themselves.
Me: likes learning about others cause I don’t like myself. 😅
I know it’s a serious thing, but honestly, I’m always initiating conversation with my friend at work cause I don’t like talking about myself.
Also, I do think the early stages of my relationship with my friend may have started as an attachment issue. I constantly go to lunch with her at the same time, talk to her all the time, and drive her home a lot (her car’s transmission blew out) because she lives near me. Would that be considered an attachment issue? 😮
Thank you so much Georgia .. I have narcissist issues myself .. trying to solve it in time .. really hate to bother other ppl with it .. but is always good to hear the truth from someone like u. That do the best for our planet and stupid humans like me .. haha Thank you. 😊
Man, I really coulda used this advice a few years ago 😂
I honestly wish it was more normal to just be up front with potential life partners about our good AND bad qualities that we are aware of that will likely impact the relationship on first, second, and third dates. Being on the autism spectrum myself, I will say that many of us are blunt and up front and will likely be chill with this to some extent, but it'd be nice if this was the norm for everyone. No one wants to waist their time on someone when it could have been addressed early on if not for our odd social expectations.
I started watching this with my boyfriend in the kitchen and he just looked at me and said 'before?.. oops' 😂
5:56 this is me, help, how i overcome this?
off-topic - I really love that shirt! :-O did you get it off the net or locally? :-)
I looked for a dragon scale shirt lol and this came up and ordrered it from a store I never heard of cause I had to have it lol. I dont remember even =P thank you for appreciating and being a part of my community. I appreciate your constant support
@@GeorgiaDow well it looks gorgeous! ^^ And thank you for your content, especially in these hard times! You ARE making a difference! ^^
Thank you
i like that top what is that and can i get it for men ?
"Who are they when they take that mask?" Me with ASPD: "I have no idea."
Yes i see this... And i also see these things in peeps that dont fit this .. Shy, lonely, deprived, despered, empatic, emotional ... How woud you aid infp's .. They give some of the most mixed complex messages.. "miss undertood!" For life... Like ower explaining "presived narsisist" ower correcting.. Or deep in thouth... Portraid as not listening or interested.... And in reality someting else entierly .. (i find it hard to dile or tune .. Expression so it woud be reseaved the way.. I ment or mean by it) .. And i get sad .. When i blunder and get groud down .. "truing to do or be good" mostly there is just too much complexity to exspress in words or expressions that woud be simple enouf to understand .. (so having to ower simplify your feeling gets messy).. 😢"hoping to not ower simplify others" .... And having a real hard time not to delete my comment ..
Omg I’m a narcissist and have attachment issues 😞
Or derailing your train of thought to make a pedantic correction that doesn't even relate to what you were talking about. This forces you to either argue with them, or ignore them which will give them permission to take offense.
I find it funny that you only addressed one side of the hierarchy issue. Do they respect those above them? 😏
I ended up here for Stranger Things characters... but this vid has nothing to do with ST. *subscribed*
Awww thanks !!! I hope you continue to enjoy my videos
"What is your height?" hmmm seems a lot of women on dating apps ask if he's 6 feet high...
That Blouse is top tear
thanks so much
nice
Can u make ep about adhd?
sure thing
uuff i have red flags becuzz i crave relations hahahaha thats probably why i isolate so hard too now :/
aww nuts...wait, no, not nuts, not like crazy nuts, not that nuts,...you know nuts...okay okay...uhm foo???
Yes butch ITH F HELL TOW WORCK ON THES