The Most Important Relationship Skill You Were Never Taught: Validation
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- I need validation... and you do too!
Whether we like to admit it or not, we all want to be validated. Yet, we rarely offer others the same luxury.
What is validation? Why are we so bad at it? And how can we validate someone's feelings?
Feelings are your body’s way of telling you something; of sending you a message. Over the years, we learn to ignore, and even fight those messages. We grow up unable to handle our feelings and unwilling to let other people process theirs.
In our efforts to be happier, we deny ourselves (and others) the freedom to experience an important part of our humanity.
Life is not always rainbows and unicorns, so let’s stop pretending! If someone is having a bad feeling, let them have it! It’s OKAY, it will pass, it’s part of life.
Somehow, accepting our emotions might make us less emotional.
We all need validation, so let's start validating.
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Music:
- Vlad Gluschenko - (Penguins)
License: CC BY 3.0: creativecommon...
- www.bensound.com
*Do YOU validate?* 😉
Next time someone comes to you feeling bad (and before you say anything) take a deep breath and remind yourself:
"It's okay, they are allowed to feel"
Beard game on point.
@@RonTsang1 That's the money maker 😉
i validate the master becomes the student again💪☕🍩
Do you have a video on how to validate? Examples are what I’m looking for. Thanks.
What I like in addition is a warm hug, or an act of kindness to try and comfort me... Maybe asking if I want something to eat... If I want to go out for a drive or to bring me my favorite treat ... basically let me know I'm not alone and loved.
Here’s what you need to remember: The only way for a bad emotion to go away is for the person to process it which means to feel it. Emotions must be processed. Once they are felt (processed), then they go away. Validation helps the person to process/feel the emotion. This is the key to understanding why validation feels so good to someone and why validation is so necessary. The pain of the emotion must be felt so the person can then be free of it.
Well said ❤
Very inspiring! I often tend to fall in the never-ending judging cycle of feeling angry at myself for feeling sad. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of validation and being easy on yourself. Thank you for the video!
This is literally the best video I’ve seen on validation/acknowledging feelings. Thank you! I will be sharing this with my husband….we both have work to do lol
quality content & quality BEARD
I used to have a huge problem with seeing all negative emotions as wrong, and it took some time, but now I’ve gotten so much better at letting myself just be emotional. I could definitely be better at resisting the urge to cheer others up and validate their feelings 🙃
Excellent job, subject and delivery. I agree with you Yasseen 100%. It is neither about agreeing nor about judging. I am intentional bout trying to say less of “I understand how you feel,” because I definitely don’t, and say more of “It is understandable that you feel that way because ...” and tell them why, or you have every right to feel “X” because ...
Although proud, I need to confess that I feel a bit down to see such a young person reaches that level of wisdom that I am pretending to have where I am almost 40 :(
This made my day, thank you! 🙏♥
It takes a generous amount of humility to self-reflect on one's imperfection! We're all doing the best we can with the resources we have available, and as Mark Twain (I think) once said "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter" 😉
3:17 This is so true!! The dramatic effect thooo 😂😂🙌🙌
First of all I LOVED YOUR HONESTY! How you admitted that even though you know what to do, you also forget to just validate the other person's feelings. And how many times you redid the video 😃. Ahh, thanks for keeping it real! Second I appreciate that you taught us we are also helping ourselves by validating others painful emotions that we are not comfortable with...That way they at least feel heard.
And third, I just want you to know I used to smile if someone told me someone died! I had to teach myself NOT to smile out of uncomfortableness.Like the way you had to teach yourself how to react to someone crying. Thank you for this helpful RUclips!
The being hungry is bad example was so funny and helped me to conceptualize validation better
Great topic 👍👍
What do you think of Adlerian psychology?
You have a very sympathetic aura! I stumbled across your channel, looking for an answer to a question and I just love your energy!
Don’t be petty. Not every feeling is valid.
My brain is not braining💀😹
Too much sad
I wish my wife would not villainize me for expressing anger, especially when it seems as if she's the only one allowed to do that.
So my gf should also validate me when I’m getting angry and screaming at the tv because my sports team is losing ? And I should validate her feelings when she cry because she didn’t get dessert ? Or is it fair to say that not all feelings ought to be validated, that some feelings are irrational ?
heyy, greate video, i suggsest to have a look in adlers psychologie. i think i just have that impacting and changing others then i see them in this moment as more or less then me and not as equal. the most powerfull person in our live is hypothetically a baby,.. and it doesn't have to do anything, its helpless but it will delegate the parents and they try the best to understand the wishes. same with old people (hypotheticly ofc then the real world works a bit different) they cant walk the familie is helping and shows the respect then that person is not better or worth than others, no its equal but not the same ;) hope you all have a great day! :D
I need to know the words, I need to know the words, is give some more words
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS) If Eu Surround Urself with Ppl Who Approve of Everything Validate Everything and Give Eu the Freedom to Say and Do Anything and Everything Eu may just be Confusing Yes for Love
I loved your video. Please keep making more like these
The problem is that we were programmed on a certain way.. that seems very difficult to go out of it that simple..! maybe it needs time.. to deprogramming our mind.. hopefully not long time..! thanks for this inspiring video..!
Totally agree! We're used to dealing with life (and people) in a certain way and it will take some times (and a few RUclips videos! 😁) to change some of our hurtful habits
Thank you for your message🙏.
You killed me with this🤣"they're sad and they feel shitty about being sad"
👍👍👍👍
If mem decoded to live life according to our families we would be DEAD ⚰️☠️💀⚱️
My therapist sent me this and I was very reluctant to watch, cause sometimes therapy videos are... Awful. But at "now they're sad and feel shitty about feeling sad" I realized I was wrong.
So thanks for making a video that is easy to connect with with humor and not just a lecture on how not to be an asshole. 😂
Wow. I love this. This is very informative. I'll try to do better. Thanks for this video.
كتيييير حبيت هالفيديو الفكرة وطريقة الطرح وخفة دمك فيديو ممتع ومضحك وكلشي كلشي ١٠ من ١٠ بانتظار المزيد 😍
can you please provide your videos with arabic translation ✌🏻
Thank you very much, this is so helpful. ☘️
They didn't know how, they were doing what they were taught or how they dealt with it
M aybe, sorry you had to go through that
Treat then like a celebrity
They Treat you like a fan.. 💯
Very nice and easy way to explaine .. keep going handsome😍
Thank you Yasseen for your videos, a lot of youth need this , I really appreciate it , and I will appreciate if your help them to satisfied with their emotions.
Thanks again , we need your videos.
That's absolutely true. It works. 💯
While watching a movie or an interview is the best way to practice this.
Great video. I feel.better!!
This is the problem I had with my mom …
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS)
I love the message. I love the perspective and I appreciate you taking the proactive approach to help others understand themselves more. I love the channel and I can’t wait to see your future content!!!
that bit at 1:45 was hilarious
Thanks I hate it.
You look like Jesus 😍
Thank you!!
very nice video.
Nice to talk abt this subject ,specially for the parents who should accept their kids feelings no matter what just share them Their feelings make them feel better
100%! Accepting someone as they are is magical. It gives them the space to do the best they can do, and to enjoy doing it!
Well Done Yasseen 🤗
Love it!
Wonderful video 🌺🌺🌺
Thank you Vijay 🤗
FACTS!!
Spoken like a REAL rapper!! Thank you Kaydo ♥
A lot of rambling
Nobody EVER validated my feelings growing up. If I was upset or sad, my dad would tell me to face reality and learn to deal with it. My mom would tell me to just overlook the circumstances. WTF?
So if someone is racist because “that’s how they feel”, that’s valid?
Being racist is not a feeling
@@lizspencer199 yes it is. It’s a feeling of hostility towards people based on their race.
Damn dude, simplifes the concept and I've had trouble figuring out, thank you