Kitties keep us busy and playing. My 2 furbabies are my family. It's a beautiful relationship with them. We eat dinner have treats and play and watch Christmas movies. My parents and few good friends have passed.
I think one reason this channel is so criminally underrated is bc most people arent open to face things as honestly as you do. They arent ready to hear that they are worth it or that they can change
Not Christmas, but I spent my 50th birthday totally alone. It was during lockdown. And a former neighbour, an elderly I loved like a father, called me to congratulate me. He died a few months later, in 2021, and I miss him every day. How wonderful, funny and kind he was. I can still hear his voice. He used to leave birthday cards with £20 inside and write to buy a tub of ice cream for me and my son. And one day he gave me £50 to buy a wig because lost my hair as I was having chemo. He was so worried. He loved his family, children, grandchildren. A fantastic human being.
Yes, I can relate to how you feel. Take care and keep on keepin' on, better days are laying ahead for you, me, and other people who feel a little lost. ❤
I never thought I would want to be alone but since losing 5 family members 10 years ago I have to say I prefer it. I really enjoy being alone rather then being awkward at someone else's family Xmas. Pretending to be excited as they open their presents is just awkward. I go to holiday parties before the day but on the day I just watch movies and eat food.
I wholly support the message in this video. I detest Christmas on so many levels - dysfunctional families, commercial pressure to spend too much money and people trying force behavioural patterns. I’ve spent Christmas alone from time to time and found it refreshingly relaxing.
I absolutely agree. I’ve just been for a turkey dinner in a lovely restaurant. I’m off to Spain in January. Have goals and targets to look forward to. ❤
I really wouldn't mind spending Christmas alone, because I really hate the whole thing. I have no religious connection to the day, I hate the mass over consumption, the enforced jollity and the expectation of happiness. I wouldn't even cook for myself if I spent it alone, I'd have cheese and crackers. A good book, a nice walk with my dog and decent tea and that would be perfect for me. As a society we have placed so much emphasis on this one day.
The overly exaderated joy, love and generosity of family and friends being around, highlights the fact that they are not meaningful there with you the rest of the year, oof that describes way to well the pain I feel about Christmas.
I was alone for Christmas for the first time a couple of years ago after a divorce. I got a little tree and did a modest amount of decorating. I even really did bing watch LOTR and made a vegan Mac and cheese! Now the winter holidays are a cozy time for me on my own. I thought I would be sad after 35 years of marriage but realized I was the one who made the holiday magic in the relationship and it was easy to make it for myself. Love this video post!
I have loved Christmas days completely alone in the past, going for a walk, enjoying the delicious melancholy, cooking myself whatever I want, and watching films!
Every year I get a gift for myself from my fiancé who passed away not long ago. It’s become a tradition of remembering her and caring for myself by thinking of how she cared for me. I know it might seem silly or sad or even wrong or unhealthy to people who’ve not experienced a loss that destroyed their world, but it’s what I do and I will do it as long as it brings me some peace and reminds me of our connection. I can’t tell you how helpful it was for you to share that as a recommendation. I sometimes feel sad or bad for giving myself a gift from her, and thought I was the odd bird out for doing it, but you made me feel ok for doing it. Much peace to you and hopes you have a Christmas that’s how you would like it to be. 😌✨
This is sage advice, thank you for posting it. Alcoholism and the attendant family drama had made the (US) Thanksgiving - New Year's time period a nightmare until I gave myself permission to "opt out" of the holidays. This "check box to opt out" gives me a chance to spend otherwise stressful days reading, gaming or watching television rather than being a nervous wreck.
I'm going to be alone for Christmas day for the first time this year. The reasons why I'll be alone are kind of sad, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm planning on just chilling out, watching some movies I've never seen before, and enjoying my time. I got some cool foods/drinks to try, and am going to make a craft once I can find the rest of the supplies. I hope you all have a great holiday if you celebrate anything, and a lovely season regardless ❤
Books save lives... Not only reading, but writing them. Twenty years ago I was in the middle of writing a book. One day I woke up to discover that while I was asleep, I'd suffered a catastrophic loss. I threw myself into finishing the book as a coping mechanism. My life became nothing more than being at work, mourning, being at home writing, or catching whatever sleep I could before going back to work again. A year later, the book was finished, I picked up the pieces of my life and decided to care again, and was able to keep going. Suffice it to say that without having that book to focus on finishing, my grief would have consumed me to the extent that I would have... Not been here today. Writing that book saved my life. It's at a publisher now and should be in print within the next couple of years. Books do save lives.
I haven’t celebrated Christmas for a couple of years now - I’m not religious and my mom wasn’t into it, so after my dad died, it kind of just stopped. So I spent last Christmas writing an essay. This year, though, is the first one since my mom passed, and for some reason it’s hitting me a bit hard that I’ll really truly be alone this year. I’m at the tail end of a cold and feeling extra emotional over everything, but I think I’ll try and pull myself together enough to come up with the kernel of a xmas tradition that I can build on in future years. Thank you for this video ❤
Merry Christmas to you.........i too have lost my mum, then dad, yet i know they want me to have a great Christmas. season So, what I do is after Christmas, i hit the sales and buy 50 Christmas stockings and nick knacks for the following Christmas. When the sales for winter clothes reach up to 90% off socks, scarves, hats, gloves I ensure 1 item goes into each stocking. I then put this away till November. Each month I buy a gift that one of my parents would have given, sometime throughout the year. Each month am searching for the sales of high-quality items with up to 80% off...and do this for the rest of the year. Each gift goes into the same size colored box and sealed. Then the last day in November I wrap them all up, forgetting what is in what box. first week of December, i buy toffees, chocolate, and candy, Meanwhile I do volunteer work at the soup kitchen every week from September, building up friendships and familiar faces. Then a few days before Christmas, stuff the 50 stockings with what i purchased over the year and place in an orange. then those familiar faces that come to the soup kitchen, I hand out the stockings. Christmas day is jumping out of bed, wishing myself a merry Christmas, even though it is not my childhood tradition....the Christmas songs are turned up loud...i open my gifts, go have lunch with friends /attend the Christian church and by the end of the Christmas season.....I am exhausted and more important, have gratitude for being able to put a smile on a person's face. I think my parents would be proud and amused, as I am Jewish amongst my Christian friends..As you are at the tail end of a cold, treat yourself to honey, lemon, cinnamon and if you dare, chopped up garlic with a cup of boiling water. Now go play the Christmas songs and if you follow what I do, you will have a jolly great Christmas each year.......I promise. HAVE A BEAUTIFUL 2024
My Mom died a few months ago and it’s hitting me really hard too. She was the last of my family as my brother died last year and my father died a long time ago. I’m 60 and have no kids so losing my Mom was a huge lost.
Get yourself a lovely gift, some some time in nature on Christmas day if possible and perhaps adopt a pet from a shelter. Much good luck and blessings to you for a happy new year:)
just 2 mins in and already resonating... yes, it's like suddenly out of nowhere people are acting like community has existed all along?! people who aren't even there during the year are suddenly like "omg we hAVE to meet up" almost taking it as a given and just start planning things?
I am still learning to make my own rules when it comes to the holidays. Growing up, it was never the cheerful festive atmosphere, everything was literally very scripted and I felt the stress of my parents. I now spend the Christmas Eve alone, and my sisters visit a few days afterwards. The first few years of this were rough and I wept through some of them. Now I am more at peace (I even almost forgot it's starting this weekend), I got a new pet tortoise to keep each other company and I will just play Animal Crossing, eat cookies and go sleep early. This video is very reassuring towards us who weren't so lucky to have good memories of this time of the year. Wishing you all the best ✨
Even though it seems the decision came from a place of necessity i find it beautiful that you have found your place in life. Thinking about how you pet tortoise won't need to know the dangers of the world because you are there for her kind of cheered me up. I am just a stranger on the internet but i do wish you fullfilling holidays and may the calm and peace you feel be something that every person on that planet feels that night.
I needed this so badly. I'm very recently estranged from my family. This is my first Christmas alone. Like alone alone. I've been kinda stonewalling all day. Not going to the dark place with depression. Just kinda numb. Christmas is THE holiday for my family, and it's kinda dysphoric knowing it's going on, and me being severed from it. Or the idea of it. My point is I'm grateful for the permission to claim this day! Make it all mine. A special day for me and myself. It hadn't occured to me. I searched 'alone on christmas" with little expectation of good feelings. I appreciate you! I think with a sh*t load of journaling and an ugly cry or two, I'll start reassigning new memories. For what it's worth, you made a big difference for someone today.
If there's ever a reason to subscribe to this lovely woman's channel, it's this video. NO-ONE ever acknowledges the hundreds of thousands of people (probably several million around the world) who are alone at Christmas and having spent 21 Christmases alone myself, I know better than most that it's one of the most soul-destroying experiences anyone will ever experience - I literally wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But here's what I do: 1. Go volunteer at your local food bank, homeless or animal shelter as Cinzia says - it will make your heart sing 2. Give a Christmas card with an inspiring message (and a coffee shop gift voucher if you can afford it) to a stranger 3. Go out in Nature every single day - it clears all the 'mental clutter' that being alone at Christmas generates (and keeps you fit) 4. Buy a book - something you wouldn't normally choose - and try reading something outside of your comfort zone 5. Get your camera or phone and capture one photo a day - then post it onto BeReal 6. Remember - there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you so be grateful for what you have, not moan about what you lack 7. Plan for 2024. Buy yourself a nice notebook, diary or journal and plan things that you'd like to do next year. And do them! I send my good wishes to anyone who's alone whether due to bereavement, relationship breakup, abandonment or whatever - it's tough. But stay positive and the sun will surely shine again. x
Ill be spending Christmas physically alone this year probably. It'll be my first time doing so in 26 years, despite having a family. Ive spent the holidays with them before, but this year i really don't want to. Its hard, but I think itll do me some good. If i did spend it with them i wouldnt have anyone to really talk to, and id just keep largely to myself. Having a family you dont relate to at all is something i wouldn't wish on anyone. Thank you Cinzia❤
I spent Thanksgiving alone one year and I have never gone back--so much joy! This year will be my first Christmas alone and I am also really looking forward to it. I have a lot of traumatic memories of these two holidays, and it is so healing getting to recreate them on my own terms.
My personal celebration has become rather an elaborate set of rituals and meditations that bring me peace and insight and it all started when I decided not to put up with abusive manipulative people for any reason at all. Solid advice, have a wonderful christmas/holiday/yule/nice time with the ancestors(the cool ones).
My first Christmas alone was ten years ago when I was in the midst of a divorce. I wondered how I was going to get through it, but in hindsight, it ended up being a blessing in disguise and I am in a far better place in my life than I was in 2013. Your advice is spot on and uplifting.
I'm still grieving the loss of a close someone and I didn't know how to handle it during this first holiday season without them, so thank you for your suggestions. Made me tear up a little 🥺 I hope you have a nice holiday season, celebrating it anyway you want to
ive been a carer for disabled parent for 15years, she died 5 months ago, i have nobody to spend christmas with, have no friends, friends tend not to stick around when you have to stay at hoe caring 23hrs a day, no family left, no money, no job, so no work colleagues to talk to. i saved for weeks just have enough for a roast diner for one lol, but my real problem is im an internal optimist, for 15 years my life slowly went into a spiral of crap, but whole time even upto now my brain says "things could be worse" and "life is bound to get better tomorrow" but honestly, it woul be nice to something positive in life. my mum used to say that people are given the life they can cope with, i guess its true... i CAN cope with my life being a pile of dog shite, but i just wish it had some glitter on it to brighten it up.
As someone who was diagnosed recently with CPTSD due to abandonment trauma. This was really helpful and great food for thought I really enjoy the recent topics you've been discussing and find them thought provoking
Having had some terrible family Christmases, being alone never bothered me that much. Alone but not lonely. Got into the habit of reading a Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve. Bacon sandwiches for breakfast and a modified Christmas dinner. Lurking about on the ham radio bans in the morning. Some TV, rabbit holes on You Tube and probably some TV. The wobbly moment for me was always Midnight New Year's even when I'd choke up. I'd busy myself getting ready to photograph the midnight fireworks (funny how no one synchronises their watches). But the emotions have eased . The mid winter break is nice. But the build up takes too long, there is much anticipation and it is over in seconds. (Apart from the weight gain)Ah well. A great video and thankyou for posting.
This is going to be my third year in a row of being alone for Christmas. I'm going to spend the day turning a bunch of boxes in a cat tower/castle . And take my dog on a hike. No one will be on the trails that day😊
I love the thought of rewriting what the holidays mean for me. Theres a lot of trauma, guilt, and manipulation surrounding the holidays in my family (and the perpetrator certainly does not address it) so its become something I end up dreading. I wish I didnt, but theres a handful of small things that make it feel mismatched. I think spending the holidays alone would be hard for me, but spending it with a partner and their family could be really nice for a change
Happiness is so elusive but close as the Moon caught inside a bowl of water. Merry Christmas from snowless Oak Lawn, Illinois. A rose should be named after you Cinzia. And a Happy New Year!
This video resonated with me and I am pleased I discovered it on Christmas Day. Cinzia I suspect your innate wisdom comes from great personal suffering and what you offer empowers as apposed to enabling victimhood even if justified. Your proactive practical advice helps to take back control of the Christmas expectations of family jollity. As you said more than we think are alone at this time and struggling with emotions.
Beautifully said, Cinzia. I particularly found your idea of "making Christmas your own" an excellent one. A few weeks dedicated to creative and intellectual pursuits, or simply learning something new which you'd never have time for otherwise. Cafes are also excellent hangouts on major holidays like Christmas and New Year's (I've taken advantage of such venues many times), and I'm with you on bookshops as well! Merry Christmas, Cinzia, and my very best wishes to you for health, continued healing, happiness, and success in 2024! Keep on reading!😊
This made me realize I actually have started my own Christmas traditions without even realizing it. That makes me feel better about a time I've usually dread for the last few years.
Thank you for this video. I'm so glad to hear that I'm not an oddball because I enjoy my solitary Christmases. My yearly Christmas day tradition is to watch the tacky 1964 film, "Santa Clause Conquers The Martians". I find this campy movie a great antidote for all the silliness that surrounds the season.
Thank you for the video. Ive spent the last 3 Christmas days alone. Before 2020, when i was working i rarely had enough holiday from retail to visit family and often had friends over on the day for non Christmas fun. Then the pandemic, I moved and became disabled. Its felt really isolating especially as family have become distant. This month I've been distrating myself by starting a watch of all Marvel films and series which will probably take me the next year and also colouring books! I kind of wish i could volunteer on Christmas day or go somewhere but often i cant leave the house because of Health but it helps a little to know im not alone in being alone
I haven't enjoyed Christmas for a few years. I live in an abusive and unstable home, and I have to deal with a lot of humiliation and stress during the holiday season. But your video makes me a bit excited for Christmas again; perhaps not this year, but one day I'll be able to be as excited about it as you seem here. Very few things can get me in a holiday spirit anymore, but this video sure helps. Thank you kindly. I know this means very little coming from a stranger to another stranger, but the videos you've posted about your own journey mirror my own in some ways. So I feel seen and, gee, what can I say, it's nice. Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas yourself
What a fantastic message. Write your own script. There are no rules. Make your own traditions, but feel free to abandon them when they no longer bring joy.
This is my first Xmas all by myself after my partner of 13 years broke up with me 4 months ago after he cheated on me and then slept around with other guys right after the break up. He lied about everything, mentally abused me, gas lighted me, yelled at me and called me crazy and aggressive. Now that I have completely blocked him and I'm in my 3rd week of no contact, I'm actually enjoying the peace and calm of being by myself on Xmas plus I didn't have to buy any presents except for my dog which he kept.
As someone who needed multiple years of therapy to get this far: you are allowed to not visit people. Your inner child may need healing, but it's not through suffering more.
i am intentionally spending xmas period alone and I have managed to 'get out of my family's one'. there are several narcissists in it.. say no more. i am not doing any presents too apart from 3 close people who are good to me. I am planning xmas to be a retreat where I can do watercolour painting, diamond painting, and reading .. and some youtube to listen to I think I will go for a walk in the park. I am really looking forward to time alone
Clueless about life 20yo guy here, my second christmas alone in a row, i hate myself for being so self aware and sensitive towards hypocrisy which we observe right now, i try to be a good human being all year, and i hate how dystopian commercialism is shaping the minds by selling cheap tricks. I've embraced my path, i have nothing to lose, i embrace the wind and whatever is coming.
Christmas is really a good example of how so many people obey the herd instinct : they allow themselves to be cajoled into overspending and generally over indulging merely to 'fit in'. During this Christmas I hope to relax and read ghost stories.
Yes books indeed saves lives❤ I'm always a nervous wreck when it's Christmas Holidays because of family drama, alcoholism & fighting. So for those who spend Christmas alone you're not missing out. You're doing great celebrate it on your own terms. One day I'm going to do it for myself.
I think it’s wonderful to turn the holiday season into what makes you happy. This year I decided to call it Cannoli Christmas (I’m not Christian but it has a nicer ring to it than Cannoli Yule😂). I’m going to make cannolis and watch movies😋♥️I hope everyone has just the kind of holiday season as they wish from the smallest delight to the grandest, we all deserve it.
It occurs to me that alot of these conversations you bring up would be made so much easier if we didn't live in a society where women need to make absolutely horrendous decisions. Do I want a husband and a child, or do I want to be successful in my business? Do I want to be a stay at home mom? But even before that. Is this man I'm dating someone I want to marry/commit to permanently? These are heart shattering decisions, and they are so unecessary. Us men need to help carry that weight. Something I want my son to understand when he is older: don't make her choose. Just because society gives men permission to do absolutely nothing, that doesn't give you the right to do that with her. Do you love this girl, then marry her. Do YOU want a kid? Then you put her in a situation where she can make that huge sacrifice. Do you want a good relationship. Then build a good relationship. 100% of what happens in our lives is completely under our control. We act like women are these objects that we have to deal with, with no agency. We act like dealing with our partner is a chore, and then our surprised when she doesn't give us sex. We act like the kid she gave us was owed to us. No, women make the choice to gace men with children, irreversibly changing their bodies in the process. Just fuck society. Grow up and look after the woman who loves you. It isn't hard.
Sad fact , I used to be friends with two emergency room doctors . They told my Christmas can be a nightmare sometimes . High rate of suicides coming in . Sad . Nobody would choose that , I believe it’s the relationships we hold or don’t hold that can end up there . Honestly , I love Christmas alone , there is strength in the right perception .
My husband passed almost 3 months ago, this Christmas will be difficult, but I do have a big family that I am grateful for, we celebrate on Christmas Eve. But for the future Christmas Days I will think about how to make it my own🙏🏽 Thanks for the message!
I am on year 9 of solo Christmas but I love it and choose to keep it that way. I treat myself to nice food, light candles, arrange mini film fests etc. My christmas is always peaceful. I woukd have it no oher way.
I hadn’t realized how much I needed this video and to read the comments here. I dread the holidays mainly because I have a complicated relationship with family and the holidays always seemed to be the time where my sadness would over take me. It’s difficult because people around me and coworkers joke and call me a grinch which I play along and pretend it doesn’t bother me. So that’s all to say I found this video and the comments here very comforting. I plan on rereading the BFG and James and the Giant Peach ( two of my childhood favorites) and enjoying a nice hot chocolate to celebrate Christmas this year.
Completely resonates with me. This years its particularly bad. I *know* i am not alone in being/feeling so alone but somehow it doesn’t help. Just gotta muddle through. Thanks for the video.
I've always hated christmas ever since I was a child. only about a month ago did I realize why I didn't like it: my family. I just don't like spending christmas with them. all the dysfunction I feel throughout the year doubles during christmas. as a kid I would daydream about one of those christmases like in the movies, with thoughtful presents and a loving family. that has never been my reality and if I don't go out into the world and find people of my own, it never will be. I've decided that this is the last year I spend christmas with my family. next year I'm going travelling. not all countries are as christmas centric so I have a year to plan where I want to go. if not, I'll still spend it alone because no company is better than bad company.
So glad I came across your video. It's really helped me today (Christmas Day). For me, Christmas is about the birth of Christ. I have family who forget I exist. I spent a few sad Christmas Days alone but now I have a partner and we're spending today watching Christmas movies (not imaginative, I know, but we hardly watch tv anyhow) and eating luxury food we would never normally eat. I don't like all the Christmas hype, I dont buy or want to receive presents. I'm not greedy. I wish everyone could watch your video and not blindly jump on the Christmas tv advert family bandwagon. Thanks for your video. Now subscribed.
Thank you for this video. I had to spend this Christmas alone due to I had to cut my entire family out of my life due to they're toxic, also this year my ex boyfriend of 8 months cheated on me, and I had to spend Christmas alone and homeless. 😢 It's comforting I'm not the only person in the spending Christmas alone.
I have found that I get to do or not do whatever I want, to make French toast out of Panettone or eat leftover cold spaghetti. Basically: I get to do what I want. It's ok to do you anytime and if someone has an issue with it, tell them about the killer French toast they missed out on. Or how lovely it was to be alone. Not exactly a hint...
Thank you for such a wonderful video. The one point that didn’t resonate with me is that I can control how I grieve. My Mom died a few months ago and my brother died last year. Although I’m blessed to have my husband, we are in our 60s and have no children. My husband has some family but we aren’t close. I wish I could control my grief and celebrate as my Mom and brother would have wanted me too but the loss is overwhelming. I will get through it… just can’t wait for this whole season to be over. My husband and I will be celebrating alone.
I am traveling for Christmas and New Year’s with my son to see family and my husband will stay home alone. He is quite happy about it. He is very excited when he talks about plans to sit in a rocking chair and read Sherlock Holmes.
OMG never been alone at Christmas. It sounds So relaxing and amazing at this pointin time. Thank you, Blessings for You and All of the lovely people here gathered together❣️
As a long time widow, even though my son, his fiancee and child live right downstairs, I still consider myself alone. This year, they all came down with COVID, and I've had a virus, too, so I've been under the weather for a month. All the preparation seemed hollow this year, given the state of the world. We never really got to celebrate at all. So I think next year, God willing, I'm simply opting out of the forced gaiety pushed upon us by retail merchandisers. That's NOT what the holiday is about. Everyone's family is not a Norman Rockwell painting. Funny how life doesn't ever turn out as you expected somehow. I guess I'll get used to it. Wonderful and wise video... thank you! Rosemarie ❤️
I make brioche each Christmas morning in memory of my Mum, who loved them. I have happily spent Christmases alone, turning an alone time into a positive by remembering with joy and thanking people no longer with me or who are elsewhere ( like my sons for example). I get to watch/read/ eat what i want and go for walks at whatever time i please. A bit of total self centredness is a real privilege to be savoured.
I'm at home alone with a chest infection I've had for nearly five weeks. So I don't feel like celebrating Christmas but I'm going to try my best to have a good day anyway.
This happened because most people took Christ away from Christmas.. Without Him this holiday makes very little sense.. no matter how well everything is decorated, how much food you made or anything else. Christmas is actually celebrated not before Christmas, but afterwards. Advent is supposed to be the time of fasting, going to services, being more organised in prayer and other spiritual practices. What it became in Europe and US is just something absolutely different. Thank you for the video!
This is my first Christmas on my own. My youngest daughter has flown the nest. I agree. Christmas should be what you make it. What you need it to be. Im a little sad that my family Christmas is changing and yet excited that i get to make mew traditions. Merry Christmas everyone xx
Dear Cinzia, as always, thank you so much for your insight. I have always struggled with Christmas season. It adds a lot of pressure to celebrations. This year I will be alone for the first time and I find it so liberating. Thanks for your amazing words❤.
thank you for making this… I wish you wholeheartedly the best in whatever way is best for you…❤ Christmas is one of the most painful moments of the year, I feel trapped in all that is not me and in the source of decades of deep depression, which is my family and its dynamics from which I still do not know how to disentangle myself…the pain is so strong I would rather not even be, anywhere or anything, I still feel no way out of the old pattern that a life of my own is not possible
I have often felt this way too about my family....but they say the best revenge is living well. So, I am determined to make each year better than the one before. Go out and get yourself a really nice gift. Spend some time in nature if possible on Christmas, and put your mind to making it a peaceful day! Much good luck and blessings in the new year, you are not alone in this challenge:)
Despite not being terribly close to my family, I always looked forward to family game of International Rummy. 6-8 people sitting for hours around a single game of cards. We can hardly get 6-8 people together over christmas anymore, and it hurts that we're not playing anymore. This year I'm trying to start a Nomic card game, where the play of the game is about building/expanding the rules of the game. I don't know it it will work, but I'm absolutely tickled that (supposedly) a major reason people quit playing was 'all the arguing about rules', and I'm trying to start a tradition that's nothing but arguing about the rules! Frankly, my family needs to learn to argue face-to-face, instead of talking behind everyone else's back.
This is the first time that I'm seeing a video that makes you agree to rules before being able to post a comment. And although I had no actual intention of breaking rule number one, I must admit that I just spent a couple of minutes here with your video on pause thinking about that very same referenced topic, even before I saw the rules.
I got invited to my Parents who are very uncomfortable to be around, live 6 hrs away making it 12 hours of driving in which I only have the day after Xmas off so hardly worth it. I got invited to a colleagues house but I feel awkward because while its a sweet gesture she has 2 kids, they just moved into their own new house and celebrate w gifts, the tree, etc and I want them to have that. My 21 year old Son has spent every holiday at his wealthy Grandparents house because he's bank rolled to them and really just cares about what he GETS rather than what Xmas is supposed to mean- I think Xmas is really commercial - it had meaning when my kid was little. It doesn't now. Holidays are something I'd rather just get over with and ignore.
It isn’t an accident that Christmas falls at the time of the Winter Solstice. Yesterday…the 23rd, was the first full day of the solar year….the new beginning of the cycle of life. The birdsong in my village was overwhelming just before dawn as if they knew…(what rubbish am I saying?Of course they know) that the year has begun, This is the week in my garden that the wild garlic comes up through the dead leaves, something fresh and green and scrambled eggs-friendly). An image to hold. All Nature makes the actual Christmas story seem so hopeful….meaningful
Having Christmas on my own. I cant spend it with my mum this year as she is away. And Had heard just yesterday an old friend of mine passed away, I cried a little then said a prayer for her, but then went about the rest of the day being cheery as that is what she would have wanted. Today is Christmas day, my boyfriend lives in another part of the UK, so we had a zoom call this morning. And now I have been doing Christmas walking workouts on youtube, playing piano and reading Christmas Carol I like Christmassy things. And this evening, my mum and I plan from a distance to watch a film. I plan to eat my favourite dinner. and I even dressed up nice wearing a string of pearls even though no one can see me this afternoon. I fed the birds and squirrels out side. And brought my neighbour an retired woman who is on her own today a care package of some chocolates, apples, shortbread, orange juice and some Christmas pudding chocolates. We nattered for a wee while too. I like looking out of the windows seeing the decorations in people's windows. and I know that lots of others will be on their own too. It is the forth Christmas I have spent on my own. I hope you have a lovely day whatever you are going to do Cinzia and all who read this. x
thank you so much for this ! i sat watching this crying because im 21 and spending Christmas alone , and you gave me soo many ideas that i will try and do today and some ideas i will do in the future! thank you ! ❤️.
I’m having my 8th Christmas alone. My mum died in 2016, and, as an agoraphobic, I’m alone. I’m alone all year, but it’s Christmas when everyone says “you can’t be alone”, and “it’s all about family” which makes me feel inadequate. I have my cat, and so many hobbies, so rarely feel lonely or bored. I’m ok being on my own, it’s other people who don’t seem to be ok with me being ok 😂
Honestly I am enjoying more this december because of my girlfriend. We kind of celebrate it before because she have to go to their town with their family so we give our presents some days ago. I don't now it felt good and I Also take the time to look for presents for my Parents and my brother with some time, and I fell good about it. I want to give it to them when the day comes.
I have a cat. I'm not alone
that is so true! How can a person be alone having a cat?)
Smart.
Kitties keep us busy and playing. My 2 furbabies are my family. It's a beautiful relationship with them. We eat dinner have treats and play and watch Christmas movies. My parents and few good friends have passed.
I think one reason this channel is so criminally underrated is bc most people arent open to face things as honestly as you do. They arent ready to hear that they are worth it or that they can change
💯
❤❤❤❤❤❤
that's true. I have learnt LOTS from this channel really.
@@marcolivresque its almost incredible really how good she blends logic and compassion. It made alot of thoughts way more accessible to me too
@Sinky-the-witch underrated means that even more people should follow her!!
Not Christmas, but I spent my 50th birthday totally alone. It was during lockdown. And a former neighbour, an elderly I loved like a father, called me to congratulate me. He died a few months later, in 2021, and I miss him every day. How wonderful, funny and kind he was. I can still hear his voice. He used to leave birthday cards with £20 inside and write to buy a tub of ice cream for me and my son. And one day he gave me £50 to buy a wig because lost my hair as I was having chemo. He was so worried. He loved his family, children, grandchildren. A fantastic human being.
What a fantastic memory, glad you could experience it.
You were so lucky to have him in your life.
I was alone on my 50th birthday in lock down too x
Christmas: The holiday which is the first to teach us that our shattered dreams and disenchantment with life has to begin somewhere.
😂 yep
This is so accurate!!!
Good point!
true!
cute.
My Christmas day plans are to alternate between watching Lord of the Rings and A Discovery of Witches while I eat yummy food on my couch 🙂
I will be watching LOTR this year as well!
That sounds sooooo nice 😍😍😍😍
haha that sounds excellent. i hope you have a good time!
Sounds great to me.
sounds perfect! x
Just what I needed- I have lost touch with friends and am single. I am feeling very blue right now.
Yes, I can relate to how you feel. Take care and keep on keepin' on, better days are laying ahead for you, me, and other people who feel a little lost. ❤
I LOVE being alone at Christmas. That is a gift in itself
That actually sounds amazing.
Best Christmas ever was spent with my husband and no one else, freezing our butts off by the water, listening to the wind.
Thats different than being alone.@@lethalchicken1173
You can afford to be alone.Try doing it without friends, family, or prospects of any kind,
I never thought I would want to be alone but since losing 5 family members 10 years ago I have to say I prefer it. I really enjoy being alone rather then being awkward at someone else's family Xmas. Pretending to be excited as they open their presents is just awkward. I go to holiday parties before the day but on the day I just watch movies and eat food.
I wholly support the message in this video. I detest Christmas on so many levels - dysfunctional families, commercial pressure to spend too much money and people trying force behavioural patterns. I’ve spent Christmas alone from time to time and found it refreshingly relaxing.
this is exactly how I feel. solo christmas is liberating
I absolutely agree. I’ve just been for a turkey dinner in a lovely restaurant. I’m off to Spain in January. Have goals and targets to look forward to. ❤
I really wouldn't mind spending Christmas alone, because I really hate the whole thing. I have no religious connection to the day, I hate the mass over consumption, the enforced jollity and the expectation of happiness. I wouldn't even cook for myself if I spent it alone, I'd have cheese and crackers. A good book, a nice walk with my dog and decent tea and that would be perfect for me. As a society we have placed so much emphasis on this one day.
The overly exaderated joy, love and generosity of family and friends being around, highlights the fact that they are not meaningful there with you the rest of the year, oof that describes way to well the pain I feel about Christmas.
I was alone for Christmas for the first time a couple of years ago after a divorce. I got a little tree and did a modest amount of decorating. I even really did bing watch LOTR and made a vegan Mac and cheese!
Now the winter holidays are a cozy time for me on my own.
I thought I would be sad after 35 years of marriage but realized I was the one who made the holiday magic in the relationship and it was easy to make it for myself.
Love this video post!
I have loved Christmas days completely alone in the past, going for a walk, enjoying the delicious melancholy, cooking myself whatever I want, and watching films!
Every year I get a gift for myself from my fiancé who passed away not long ago. It’s become a tradition of remembering her and caring for myself by thinking of how she cared for me. I know it might seem silly or sad or even wrong or unhealthy to people who’ve not experienced a loss that destroyed their world, but it’s what I do and I will do it as long as it brings me some peace and reminds me of our connection.
I can’t tell you how helpful it was for you to share that as a recommendation. I sometimes feel sad or bad for giving myself a gift from her, and thought I was the odd bird out for doing it, but you made me feel ok for doing it. Much peace to you and hopes you have a Christmas that’s how you would like it to be. 😌✨
This is sage advice, thank you for posting it. Alcoholism and the attendant family drama had made the (US) Thanksgiving - New Year's time period a nightmare until I gave myself permission to "opt out" of the holidays. This "check box to opt out" gives me a chance to spend otherwise stressful days reading, gaming or watching television rather than being a nervous wreck.
A mature and brave decision. Good work ❤️
December is quite hard. I like to call it a time of rest, and let myself rest as much as I need to.
I'm going to be alone for Christmas day for the first time this year. The reasons why I'll be alone are kind of sad, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm planning on just chilling out, watching some movies I've never seen before, and enjoying my time. I got some cool foods/drinks to try, and am going to make a craft once I can find the rest of the supplies. I hope you all have a great holiday if you celebrate anything, and a lovely season regardless ❤
Books save lives... Not only reading, but writing them. Twenty years ago I was in the middle of writing a book. One day I woke up to discover that while I was asleep, I'd suffered a catastrophic loss. I threw myself into finishing the book as a coping mechanism. My life became nothing more than being at work, mourning, being at home writing, or catching whatever sleep I could before going back to work again. A year later, the book was finished, I picked up the pieces of my life and decided to care again, and was able to keep going. Suffice it to say that without having that book to focus on finishing, my grief would have consumed me to the extent that I would have... Not been here today. Writing that book saved my life. It's at a publisher now and should be in print within the next couple of years. Books do save lives.
Best of luck 🤞
I haven’t celebrated Christmas for a couple of years now - I’m not religious and my mom wasn’t into it, so after my dad died, it kind of just stopped. So I spent last Christmas writing an essay. This year, though, is the first one since my mom passed, and for some reason it’s hitting me a bit hard that I’ll really truly be alone this year. I’m at the tail end of a cold and feeling extra emotional over everything, but I think I’ll try and pull myself together enough to come up with the kernel of a xmas tradition that I can build on in future years. Thank you for this video ❤
Merry Christmas to you.........i too have lost my mum, then dad, yet i know they want me to have a great Christmas. season So, what I do is after Christmas, i hit the sales and buy 50 Christmas stockings and nick knacks for the following Christmas. When the sales for winter clothes reach up to 90% off socks, scarves, hats, gloves I ensure 1 item goes into each stocking. I then put this away till November. Each month I buy a gift that one of my parents would have given, sometime throughout the year. Each month am searching for the sales of high-quality items with up to 80% off...and do this for the rest of the year. Each gift goes into the same size colored box and sealed. Then the last day in November I wrap them all up, forgetting what is in what box. first week of December, i buy toffees, chocolate, and candy, Meanwhile I do volunteer work at the soup kitchen every week from September, building up friendships and familiar faces. Then a few days before Christmas, stuff the 50 stockings with what i purchased over the year and place in an orange. then those familiar faces that come to the soup kitchen, I hand out the stockings. Christmas day is jumping out of bed, wishing myself a merry Christmas, even though it is not my childhood tradition....the Christmas songs are turned up loud...i open my gifts, go have lunch with friends /attend the Christian church and by the end of the Christmas season.....I am exhausted and more important, have gratitude for being able to put a smile on a person's face. I think my parents would be proud and amused, as I am Jewish amongst my Christian friends..As you are at the tail end of a cold, treat yourself to honey, lemon, cinnamon and if you dare, chopped up garlic with a cup of boiling water. Now go play the Christmas songs and if you follow what I do, you will have a jolly great Christmas each year.......I promise. HAVE A BEAUTIFUL 2024
My Mom died a few months ago and it’s hitting me really hard too. She was the last of my family as my brother died last year and my father died a long time ago. I’m 60 and have no kids so losing my Mom was a huge lost.
Get yourself a lovely gift, some some time in nature on Christmas day if possible and perhaps adopt a pet from a shelter.
Much good luck and blessings to you for a happy new year:)
just 2 mins in and already resonating... yes, it's like suddenly out of nowhere people are acting like community has existed all along?! people who aren't even there during the year are suddenly like "omg we hAVE to meet up" almost taking it as a given and just start planning things?
I am still learning to make my own rules when it comes to the holidays. Growing up, it was never the cheerful festive atmosphere, everything was literally very scripted and I felt the stress of my parents. I now spend the Christmas Eve alone, and my sisters visit a few days afterwards. The first few years of this were rough and I wept through some of them. Now I am more at peace (I even almost forgot it's starting this weekend), I got a new pet tortoise to keep each other company and I will just play Animal Crossing, eat cookies and go sleep early. This video is very reassuring towards us who weren't so lucky to have good memories of this time of the year. Wishing you all the best ✨
Even though it seems the decision came from a place of necessity i find it beautiful that you have found your place in life. Thinking about how you pet tortoise won't need to know the dangers of the world because you are there for her kind of cheered me up. I am just a stranger on the internet but i do wish you fullfilling holidays and may the calm and peace you feel be something that every person on that planet feels that night.
@@curiousScientistAndEducator Thank you so much for these kind words 🩷 I hope you also have a peaceful time during this time of the year ✨
I needed this so badly. I'm very recently estranged from my family. This is my first Christmas alone. Like alone alone. I've been kinda stonewalling all day. Not going to the dark place with depression. Just kinda numb. Christmas is THE holiday for my family, and it's kinda dysphoric knowing it's going on, and me being severed from it. Or the idea of it. My point is I'm grateful for the permission to claim this day! Make it all mine. A special day for me and myself. It hadn't occured to me. I searched 'alone on christmas" with little expectation of good feelings. I appreciate you! I think with a sh*t load of journaling and an ugly cry or two, I'll start reassigning new memories. For what it's worth, you made a big difference for someone today.
I actually enjoy Christmas alone. I’ve done it a few times and the lack of expectations is so freeing and mentally peaceful.
If there's ever a reason to subscribe to this lovely woman's channel, it's this video. NO-ONE ever acknowledges the hundreds of thousands of people (probably several million around the world) who are alone at Christmas and having spent 21 Christmases alone myself, I know better than most that it's one of the most soul-destroying experiences anyone will ever experience - I literally wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But here's what I do:
1. Go volunteer at your local food bank, homeless or animal shelter as Cinzia says - it will make your heart sing
2. Give a Christmas card with an inspiring message (and a coffee shop gift voucher if you can afford it) to a stranger
3. Go out in Nature every single day - it clears all the 'mental clutter' that being alone at Christmas generates (and keeps you fit)
4. Buy a book - something you wouldn't normally choose - and try reading something outside of your comfort zone
5. Get your camera or phone and capture one photo a day - then post it onto BeReal
6. Remember - there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you so be grateful for what you have, not moan about what you lack
7. Plan for 2024. Buy yourself a nice notebook, diary or journal and plan things that you'd like to do next year. And do them!
I send my good wishes to anyone who's alone whether due to bereavement, relationship breakup, abandonment or whatever - it's tough. But stay positive and the sun will surely shine again. x
Ill be spending Christmas physically alone this year probably.
It'll be my first time doing so in 26 years, despite having a family.
Ive spent the holidays with them before, but this year i really don't want to.
Its hard, but I think itll do me some good. If i did spend it with them i wouldnt have anyone to really talk to, and id just keep largely to myself. Having a family you dont relate to at all is something i wouldn't wish on anyone.
Thank you Cinzia❤
same here, i managed to get out of it.... looking forward to doing my crafts over xmas alone
I spent Thanksgiving alone one year and I have never gone back--so much joy! This year will be my first Christmas alone and I am also really looking forward to it. I have a lot of traumatic memories of these two holidays, and it is so healing getting to recreate them on my own terms.
Can I just say, I *am* a counsellor and the advice you gave about memorialising and including loved ones that have died at Christmas was so helpful.
My personal celebration has become rather an elaborate set of rituals and meditations that bring me peace and insight and it all started when I decided not to put up with abusive manipulative people for any reason at all. Solid advice, have a wonderful christmas/holiday/yule/nice time with the ancestors(the cool ones).
My first Christmas alone was ten years ago when I was in the midst of a divorce. I wondered how I was going to get through it, but in hindsight, it ended up being a blessing in disguise and I am in a far better place in my life than I was in 2013. Your advice is spot on and uplifting.
This is so good to hear. I’m going through a breakup and reading about others coming out the other side is a great help!
I'm still grieving the loss of a close someone and I didn't know how to handle it during this first holiday season without them, so thank you for your suggestions. Made me tear up a little 🥺 I hope you have a nice holiday season, celebrating it anyway you want to
ive been a carer for disabled parent for 15years, she died 5 months ago, i have nobody to spend christmas with, have no friends, friends tend not to stick around when you have to stay at hoe caring 23hrs a day, no family left, no money, no job, so no work colleagues to talk to. i saved for weeks just have enough for a roast diner for one lol, but my real problem is im an internal optimist, for 15 years my life slowly went into a spiral of crap, but whole time even upto now my brain says "things could be worse" and "life is bound to get better tomorrow" but honestly, it woul be nice to something positive in life. my mum used to say that people are given the life they can cope with, i guess its true... i CAN cope with my life being a pile of dog shite, but i just wish it had some glitter on it to brighten it up.
As someone who was diagnosed recently with CPTSD due to abandonment trauma. This was really helpful and great food for thought I really enjoy the recent topics you've been discussing and find them thought provoking
Having had some terrible family Christmases, being alone never bothered me that much. Alone but not lonely. Got into the habit of reading a Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve. Bacon sandwiches for breakfast and a modified Christmas dinner. Lurking about on the ham radio bans in the morning. Some TV, rabbit holes on You Tube and probably some TV. The wobbly moment for me was always Midnight New Year's even when I'd choke up. I'd busy myself getting ready to photograph the midnight fireworks (funny how no one synchronises their watches). But the emotions have eased . The mid winter break is nice. But the build up takes too long, there is much anticipation and it is over in seconds. (Apart from the weight gain)Ah well. A great video and thankyou for posting.
This is going to be my third year in a row of being alone for Christmas. I'm going to spend the day turning a bunch of boxes in a cat tower/castle . And take my dog on a hike. No one will be on the trails that day😊
I love the thought of rewriting what the holidays mean for me. Theres a lot of trauma, guilt, and manipulation surrounding the holidays in my family (and the perpetrator certainly does not address it) so its become something I end up dreading. I wish I didnt, but theres a handful of small things that make it feel mismatched. I think spending the holidays alone would be hard for me, but spending it with a partner and their family could be really nice for a change
I don't even celebrate Christmas but this video can apply to any holiday I think. Books do save lives so please everyone keep reading. 📚
Happiness is so elusive but close as the Moon caught inside a bowl of water. Merry Christmas from snowless Oak Lawn, Illinois. A rose should be named after you Cinzia. And a Happy New Year!
This video resonated with me and I am pleased I discovered it on Christmas Day. Cinzia I suspect your innate wisdom comes from great personal suffering and what you offer empowers as apposed to enabling victimhood even if justified. Your proactive practical advice helps to take back control of the Christmas expectations of family jollity. As you said more than we think are alone at this time and struggling with emotions.
Beautifully said, Cinzia. I particularly found your idea of "making Christmas your own" an excellent one. A few weeks dedicated to creative and intellectual pursuits, or simply learning something new which you'd never have time for otherwise. Cafes are also excellent hangouts on major holidays like Christmas and New Year's (I've taken advantage of such venues many times), and I'm with you on bookshops as well! Merry Christmas, Cinzia, and my very best wishes to you for health, continued healing, happiness, and success in 2024! Keep on reading!😊
This made me realize I actually have started my own Christmas traditions without even realizing it. That makes me feel better about a time I've usually dread for the last few years.
I needed this, the dark thoughts were rolling in already, thank you
Thank you for this video. I'm so glad to hear that I'm not an oddball because I enjoy my solitary Christmases. My yearly Christmas day tradition is to watch the tacky 1964 film, "Santa Clause Conquers The Martians". I find this campy movie a great antidote for all the silliness that surrounds the season.
Thank you for the video. Ive spent the last 3 Christmas days alone. Before 2020, when i was working i rarely had enough holiday from retail to visit family and often had friends over on the day for non Christmas fun. Then the pandemic, I moved and became disabled. Its felt really isolating especially as family have become distant. This month I've been distrating myself by starting a watch of all Marvel films and series which will probably take me the next year and also colouring books! I kind of wish i could volunteer on Christmas day or go somewhere but often i cant leave the house because of Health but it helps a little to know im not alone in being alone
I haven't enjoyed Christmas for a few years. I live in an abusive and unstable home, and I have to deal with a lot of humiliation and stress during the holiday season. But your video makes me a bit excited for Christmas again; perhaps not this year, but one day I'll be able to be as excited about it as you seem here. Very few things can get me in a holiday spirit anymore, but this video sure helps. Thank you kindly. I know this means very little coming from a stranger to another stranger, but the videos you've posted about your own journey mirror my own in some ways. So I feel seen and, gee, what can I say, it's nice. Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas yourself
What a fantastic message. Write your own script. There are no rules. Make your own traditions, but feel free to abandon them when they no longer bring joy.
This is my first Xmas all by myself after my partner of 13 years broke up with me 4 months ago after he cheated on me and then slept around with other guys right after the break up. He lied about everything, mentally abused me, gas lighted me, yelled at me and called me crazy and aggressive. Now that I have completely blocked him and I'm in my 3rd week of no contact, I'm actually enjoying the peace and calm of being by myself on Xmas plus I didn't have to buy any presents except for my dog which he kept.
Being alone for Christmas is the best gift people can give me.
As someone who needed multiple years of therapy to get this far: you are allowed to not visit people. Your inner child may need healing, but it's not through suffering more.
i am intentionally spending xmas period alone and I have managed to 'get out of my family's one'. there are several narcissists in it.. say no more. i am not doing any presents too apart from 3 close people who are good to me. I am planning xmas to be a retreat where I can do watercolour painting, diamond painting, and reading .. and some youtube to listen to I think I will go for a walk in the park. I am really looking forward to time alone
Clueless about life 20yo guy here, my second christmas alone in a row, i hate myself for being so self aware and sensitive towards hypocrisy which we observe right now, i try to be a good human being all year, and i hate how dystopian commercialism is shaping the minds by selling cheap tricks. I've embraced my path, i have nothing to lose, i embrace the wind and whatever is coming.
Christmas is really a good example of how so many people obey the herd instinct : they allow themselves to be cajoled into overspending and generally over indulging merely to 'fit in'. During this Christmas I hope to relax and read ghost stories.
Yes books indeed saves lives❤ I'm always a nervous wreck when it's Christmas Holidays because of family drama, alcoholism & fighting. So for those who spend Christmas alone you're not missing out. You're doing great celebrate it on your own terms. One day I'm going to do it for myself.
I think it’s wonderful to turn the holiday season into what makes you happy. This year I decided to call it Cannoli Christmas (I’m not Christian but it has a nicer ring to it than Cannoli Yule😂). I’m going to make cannolis and watch movies😋♥️I hope everyone has just the kind of holiday season as they wish from the smallest delight to the grandest, we all deserve it.
It occurs to me that alot of these conversations you bring up would be made so much easier if we didn't live in a society where women need to make absolutely horrendous decisions. Do I want a husband and a child, or do I want to be successful in my business? Do I want to be a stay at home mom? But even before that. Is this man I'm dating someone I want to marry/commit to permanently? These are heart shattering decisions, and they are so unecessary. Us men need to help carry that weight. Something I want my son to understand when he is older: don't make her choose. Just because society gives men permission to do absolutely nothing, that doesn't give you the right to do that with her. Do you love this girl, then marry her. Do YOU want a kid? Then you put her in a situation where she can make that huge sacrifice. Do you want a good relationship. Then build a good relationship. 100% of what happens in our lives is completely under our control. We act like women are these objects that we have to deal with, with no agency. We act like dealing with our partner is a chore, and then our surprised when she doesn't give us sex. We act like the kid she gave us was owed to us. No, women make the choice to gace men with children, irreversibly changing their bodies in the process.
Just fuck society. Grow up and look after the woman who loves you. It isn't hard.
Sad fact , I used to be friends with two emergency room doctors .
They told my Christmas can be a nightmare sometimes .
High rate of suicides coming in .
Sad . Nobody would choose that , I believe it’s the relationships we hold or don’t hold that can end up there .
Honestly , I love Christmas alone , there is strength in the right perception .
My husband passed almost 3 months ago, this Christmas will be difficult, but I do have a big family that I am grateful for, we celebrate on Christmas Eve. But for the future Christmas Days I will think about how to make it my own🙏🏽 Thanks for the message!
I am on year 9 of solo Christmas but I love it and choose to keep it that way.
I treat myself to nice food, light candles, arrange mini film fests etc.
My christmas is always peaceful. I woukd have it no oher way.
Was just watching your gifting video and now am blessed with another.
I hadn’t realized how much I needed this video and to read the comments here. I dread the holidays mainly because I have a complicated relationship with family and the holidays always seemed to be the time where my sadness would over take me. It’s difficult because people around me and coworkers joke and call me a grinch which I play along and pretend it doesn’t bother me. So that’s all to say I found this video and the comments here very comforting. I plan on rereading the BFG and James and the Giant Peach ( two of my childhood favorites) and enjoying a nice hot chocolate to celebrate Christmas this year.
The bit about grief made me tear up... I'm going to write my mom a christmas card
Completely resonates with me. This years its particularly bad. I *know* i am not alone in being/feeling so alone but somehow it doesn’t help. Just gotta muddle through. Thanks for the video.
I've always hated christmas ever since I was a child. only about a month ago did I realize why I didn't like it: my family. I just don't like spending christmas with them. all the dysfunction I feel throughout the year doubles during christmas. as a kid I would daydream about one of those christmases like in the movies, with thoughtful presents and a loving family. that has never been my reality and if I don't go out into the world and find people of my own, it never will be. I've decided that this is the last year I spend christmas with my family. next year I'm going travelling. not all countries are as christmas centric so I have a year to plan where I want to go. if not, I'll still spend it alone because no company is better than bad company.
Create your own seasonal traditions. Celebrate the holidays however you desire. When I was single I often enjoyed the solitude and quiet.
So glad I came across your video. It's really helped me today (Christmas Day). For me, Christmas is about the birth of Christ. I have family who forget I exist. I spent a few sad Christmas Days alone but now I have a partner and we're spending today watching Christmas movies (not imaginative, I know, but we hardly watch tv anyhow) and eating luxury food we would never normally eat. I don't like all the Christmas hype, I dont buy or want to receive presents. I'm not greedy. I wish everyone could watch your video and not blindly jump on the Christmas tv advert family bandwagon. Thanks for your video. Now subscribed.
You make some good points. An epic Chinese buffet or. LOTR marathon with macaroni and cheese sounds like great fun!
Thank you for this video. I had to spend this Christmas alone due to I had to cut my entire family out of my life due to they're toxic, also this year my ex boyfriend of 8 months cheated on me, and I had to spend Christmas alone and homeless. 😢
It's comforting I'm not the only person in the spending Christmas alone.
As a longtime holiday loner, thank you so much for this.
I have found that I get to do or not do whatever I want, to make French toast out of Panettone or eat leftover cold spaghetti. Basically: I get to do what I want. It's ok to do you anytime and if someone has an issue with it, tell them about the killer French toast they missed out on. Or how lovely it was to be alone. Not exactly a hint...
Thank you for such a wonderful video. The one point that didn’t resonate with me is that I can control how I grieve. My Mom died a few months ago and my brother died last year. Although I’m blessed to have my husband, we are in our 60s and have no children. My husband has some family but we aren’t close. I wish I could control my grief and celebrate as my Mom and brother would have wanted me too but the loss is overwhelming. I will get through it… just can’t wait for this whole season to be over. My husband and I will be celebrating alone.
I am traveling for Christmas and New Year’s with my son to see family and my husband will stay home alone. He is quite happy about it. He is very excited when he talks about plans to sit in a rocking chair and read Sherlock Holmes.
OMG never been alone at Christmas. It sounds So relaxing and amazing at this pointin time.
Thank you, Blessings for You and All of the lovely people here gathered together❣️
As a long time widow, even though my son, his fiancee and child live right downstairs, I still consider myself alone. This year, they all came down with COVID, and I've had a virus, too, so I've been under the weather for a month. All the preparation seemed hollow this year, given the state of the world. We never really got to celebrate at all. So I think next year, God willing, I'm simply opting out of the forced gaiety pushed upon us by retail merchandisers. That's NOT what the holiday is about. Everyone's family is not a Norman Rockwell painting. Funny how life doesn't ever turn out as you expected somehow. I guess I'll get used to it. Wonderful and wise video... thank you! Rosemarie ❤️
I make brioche each Christmas morning in memory of my Mum, who loved them. I have happily spent Christmases alone, turning an alone time into a positive by remembering with joy and thanking people no longer with me or who are elsewhere ( like my sons for example). I get to watch/read/ eat what i want and go for walks at whatever time i please. A bit of total self centredness is a real privilege to be savoured.
I'm at home alone with a chest infection I've had for nearly five weeks. So I don't feel like celebrating Christmas but I'm going to try my best to have a good day anyway.
Thank you for putting this out, and for the compassion you put into it. Have a Cool Yule!
What a wonderful, big heart you must have to make a video for those who are alone on Christmas! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
You are doing great things cinzia. I appreciate your authenticity so much. I won’t be alone this Christmas but there will be some loneliness.
This happened because most people took Christ away from Christmas.. Without Him this holiday makes very little sense.. no matter how well everything is decorated, how much food you made or anything else. Christmas is actually celebrated not before Christmas, but afterwards. Advent is supposed to be the time of fasting, going to services, being more organised in prayer and other spiritual practices.
What it became in Europe and US is just something absolutely different.
Thank you for the video!
I feel the same. People think only gifts and food are important so they have colourful but void time.
This is my first Christmas on my own.
My youngest daughter has flown the nest.
I agree. Christmas should be what you make it. What you need it to be.
Im a little sad that my family Christmas is changing and yet excited that i get to make mew traditions.
Merry Christmas everyone xx
I love Christmas alone! So peaceful 😊
Dear Cinzia, as always, thank you so much for your insight. I have always struggled with Christmas season. It adds a lot of pressure to celebrations. This year I will be alone for the first time and I find it so liberating. Thanks for your amazing words❤.
Lovely message. Thank you, Cinzia!
I can so relate - my first Christmas alone was the happiest after so many with my family... Very good video. Sending hugs to everyone :***
thank you for making this… I wish you wholeheartedly the best in whatever way is best for you…❤ Christmas is one of the most painful moments of the year, I feel trapped in all that is not me and in the source of decades of deep depression, which is my family and its dynamics from which I still do not know how to disentangle myself…the pain is so strong I would rather not even be, anywhere or anything, I still feel no way out of the old pattern that a life of my own is not possible
I have often felt this way too about my family....but they say the best revenge is living well. So, I am determined to make each year better than the one before. Go out and get yourself a really nice gift. Spend some time in nature if possible on Christmas, and put your mind to making it a peaceful day! Much good luck and blessings in the new year, you are not alone in this challenge:)
Despite not being terribly close to my family, I always looked forward to family game of International Rummy. 6-8 people sitting for hours around a single game of cards. We can hardly get 6-8 people together over christmas anymore, and it hurts that we're not playing anymore. This year I'm trying to start a Nomic card game, where the play of the game is about building/expanding the rules of the game. I don't know it it will work, but I'm absolutely tickled that (supposedly) a major reason people quit playing was 'all the arguing about rules', and I'm trying to start a tradition that's nothing but arguing about the rules! Frankly, my family needs to learn to argue face-to-face, instead of talking behind everyone else's back.
Thanks so much for the video. Helpful for me.
You are a pleasure to learn from. Thank you for your thoughtful takes ❤️ 🎁
This is the first time that I'm seeing a video that makes you agree to rules before being able to post a comment. And although I had no actual intention of breaking rule number one, I must admit that I just spent a couple of minutes here with your video on pause thinking about that very same referenced topic, even before I saw the rules.
I got invited to my Parents who are very uncomfortable to be around, live 6 hrs away making it 12 hours of driving in which I only have the day after Xmas off so hardly worth it. I got invited to a colleagues house but I feel awkward because while its a sweet gesture she has 2 kids, they just moved into their own new house and celebrate w gifts, the tree, etc and I want them to have that. My 21 year old Son has spent every holiday at his wealthy Grandparents house because he's bank rolled to them and really just cares about what he GETS rather than what Xmas is supposed to mean- I think Xmas is really commercial - it had meaning when my kid was little. It doesn't now. Holidays are something I'd rather just get over with and ignore.
It isn’t an accident that Christmas falls at the time of the Winter Solstice. Yesterday…the 23rd, was the first full day of the solar year….the new beginning of the cycle of life. The birdsong in my village was overwhelming just before dawn as if they knew…(what rubbish am I saying?Of course they know) that the year has begun, This is the week in my garden that the wild garlic comes up through the dead leaves, something fresh and green and scrambled eggs-friendly). An image to hold. All Nature makes the actual Christmas story seem so hopeful….meaningful
Having Christmas on my own. I cant spend it with my mum this year as she is away. And Had heard just yesterday an old friend of mine passed away, I cried a little then said a prayer for her, but then went about the rest of the day being cheery as that is what she would have wanted. Today is Christmas day, my boyfriend lives in another part of the UK, so we had a zoom call this morning. And now I have been doing Christmas walking workouts on youtube, playing piano and reading Christmas Carol I like Christmassy things. And this evening, my mum and I plan from a distance to watch a film. I plan to eat my favourite dinner. and I even dressed up nice wearing a string of pearls even though no one can see me this afternoon. I fed the birds and squirrels out side. And brought my neighbour an retired woman who is on her own today a care package of some chocolates, apples, shortbread, orange juice and some Christmas pudding chocolates. We nattered for a wee while too. I like looking out of the windows seeing the decorations in people's windows. and I know that lots of others will be on their own too. It is the forth Christmas I have spent on my own. I hope you have a lovely day whatever you are going to do Cinzia and all who read this. x
I like how you express yourself, so fancy. I'm a fan, keep going! :)
*This bean I've made tastes amazing! I've accepted alone male world.*
thank you so much for this ! i sat watching this crying because im 21 and spending Christmas alone , and you gave me soo many ideas that i will try and do today and some ideas i will do in the future! thank you ! ❤️.
I have plans for xmas, and I get into the whole xmas vibe, but your video has got me in tears and i dont even know why.
I’m having my 8th Christmas alone. My mum died in 2016, and, as an agoraphobic, I’m alone. I’m alone all year, but it’s Christmas when everyone says “you can’t be alone”, and “it’s all about family” which makes me feel inadequate. I have my cat, and so many hobbies, so rarely feel lonely or bored. I’m ok being on my own, it’s other people who don’t seem to be ok with me being ok 😂
Honestly I am enjoying more this december because of my girlfriend.
We kind of celebrate it before because she have to go to their town with their family so we give our presents some days ago.
I don't now it felt good and I Also take the time to look for presents for my Parents and my brother with some time, and I fell good about it.
I want to give it to them when the day comes.
Home sick w covid this year. Needed to hear this. Thanks!
I agree with you
I prefer being by myself
Truth as always. Thank you.
very good, important message! and : you speak the most beautiful English! I could listen to you for ages❤
I needed to watch this today, Cinzia. Glad to have discovered it (by accident) and to have watched it.