"Some women don't match their outfit to the counter. Can you imagine?!?" 😂 Coordinating yourself with the kitchen appliances is peak 1950s home-ec hell.
"Only men can be trusted to carve." Well, if _you_ want to go ahead and put a knife into the hands of an exhausted, frustrated woman who spent hours slaving away at the meal only to hear her husband mutter "Honey, this meat is kind of dry"....
The modern paradigm of sharing thankgiving with relatives you deliberately live far away from makes the handling of a large sharp knife at the table by any member problematic and risky.
I have some ancient recipe cards from ex-relatives and it seems like everything back then was suspiciously shy of natural color… and everything looked like Spam.
I could watch an entire RUclips channel of Mary Jo and Bridget trying to cook while working together to figure out things like foreign measurements and discussing the meaning of "To Taste" or "A Pinch". 'Bridget- Does it mean to your taste, mine or the authors? Mary Jo- Great question I don't know.' It was like being in 9th grade home economics with people I like. Their watery crunchy spaghetti may even taste better
you know you're in too deep when you start recognizing the library music in these shorts like old friends. Recognized pieces from the "Home Economics Story" and "Aquatic Wizards"
@@HylianFox3 No way man, Ben Murphy is equally mellow when dealing with jive or plain turkeys. You should see him handle Black Barts too, no hassles and lots of Ben Murphy.
I’ll be honest, since seeing this last year, I’ve actually used it a few times as a guide for roasting chickens. 😅😅 It’s good advice at its core, it’s just so dopey everywhere else. 🤣🤣
I have the same copper-bottomed pans, they were my late mother's. And has anyone else noticed the background music sounds more like it would be heard at a junior skating competition or recital?
I think it's how we perceive age. Like when young teenage girls make themselves look older with certain clothing and makeup. Their haircuts and stuff just make them seem old to us
I was talking about this with a friend recently (after watching George Romero's Amusement Park and being shocked at how young the old people were) and I think part of it is that people who grew up in the Depression and pre-war era didn't get the same nutritional benefits that the post-war generation got, so adults born in the 10s or 20s would age quicker.
@@CinnamonGrrlErin1 Ah, I thought it was more the fact that parents back then were all in fact, alien clones sent to teach the human race good manners and respect and more importantly to have us all addicted to turkey dinners but you could be closer to the truth, I guess we'll never know for sure!
@@skeetsmcgrew3282 Yeah this! To them what they were wearing was clothes for stylish people in their 30s, but now it looks old fashioned and we associate it with our grandparents.
History teaches us that this effort to make roast turkey a year-round dish failed. Instead, we got turkey bologna, turkey hotdogs and deli sliced turkey lunch meat.
This RiffTrax is so good I wish I could watch it again for the first time. Maybe if I hit my head with this hammer…OW. Hey, _RIFFTRAX!_ I bet I’m gonna like this!
Mine too. I’ve actually gotten some decent advice from this short that I’ve used whenever I roast chickens. It’s really not bad advice, it’s just a bit dated and it’s delivered in such a dopey manner 😂
"In the same way you can have ever-ready that other guest insurance, a cold ham!" I mean, yeah, I suppose that would insure against the eventuality of having guests.
Happy Thanksgiving Rifftrax Crew! Props to Mary Jo and Bridget for riffing this one. I remember watching the Brad Jones riff from long ago, but this one was good too. 🦃
"Just right for a family of 45." Who the hell has a family of 45!?!?! 😆😆😆 "A calculator is built into every turkey you buy." Actually there is, it's that red button plastic thingy that's stuck in the turkey.
17:57 Was this made before, in, or after 1949? Because that was the year saran wrap was invented. (Although they did have wax paper for over 20 years before that, so it's their fault if they get food poisoning for just leaving the turkey under a towel.)
“Now there’s a turkey for every size family!”
“But never enough stuffing.”
Mary Jo tells it like it is.
I've never done as many spit takes involuntarily. Congrats, Mary Jo!
lol..."the secret ingredient is Modesty!" I lost it. :D
I just about lost it with "...casserole is done when it becomes round" 🤣
The casserole cooking in my oven turned black three days ago but it's still square. Oh well.
The director of photography should have been fired for such a grave continuity error!
@@5roundsrapid263 a wizard did it
@@5roundsrapid263 I know, right?? Did they think we wouldn't notice??😂
What does it mean if my casserole becomes triangular?
"Some women don't match their outfit to the counter. Can you imagine?!?" 😂
Coordinating yourself with the kitchen appliances is peak 1950s home-ec hell.
It’s how housewives hid from predators in the wilds of suburbia.
Your word of the day, 'juicily'.
... she said, juicily.
The word 'moist': Finally, a worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!
@@KarlBunker She might also be squishy and have the reds!
"Only men can be trusted to carve."
Well, if _you_ want to go ahead and put a knife into the hands of an exhausted, frustrated woman who spent hours slaving away at the meal only to hear her husband mutter "Honey, this meat is kind of dry"....
“I can think of something dryer, dear…” let him ponder on that as you chew.
The modern paradigm of sharing thankgiving with relatives you deliberately live far away from makes the handling of a large sharp knife at the table by any member problematic and risky.
To be fair, that picnic turkey recipe looks delicious.
And easy to follow! It'll go over great at the next seance!
If you call the Armour Company customer service line and tell them you watched this, they’ll send you a 8-pound turkey and a bottle of Prozac.
Prozac? When I called, all I got was a bottle of ibuprofen.
" The soaring turkey love theme" 🤣🤣🤣
Note: when you dial an old oven, go past teh temp you want and dial back. The old mechanical thermostats didn't turn on if you undershoot.
"The time has come for you to marry your turkey" cracked me up.
With all that manhandling, it’s only proper
The desaturated colors of this film sure make the food look appetizing.
Periwinkle Blue: The Movie
@@HylianFox3 You are being too generous. More like the color of a periwinkle sea snail.
I have some ancient recipe cards from ex-relatives and it seems like everything back then was suspiciously shy of natural color… and everything looked like Spam.
There are some short about food that were shot in black and white. Everything looks burnt.
what food?
"...and this jive turkey for families in the 70's"... just fell out of my computer chair. I love you ladies, keep up the fantastic work!
"I've been told I'm too pretty for math"
I could watch an entire RUclips channel of Mary Jo and Bridget trying to cook while working together to figure out things like foreign measurements and discussing the meaning of "To Taste" or "A Pinch". 'Bridget- Does it mean to your taste, mine or the authors? Mary Jo- Great question I don't know.'
It was like being in 9th grade home economics with people I like. Their watery crunchy spaghetti may even taste better
I would totally watch that.🤣
"Season to taste? MJ, can we just not season it at all?" "Well, if that's your taste..."
Mary Jo Phel and Bridget Nelson feat. B. Dylan Hollis
+10 for the Track of the Moon Beast recipe. Bridgette and Mary Jo are amazing!
(sigh) ...Onions...
@@KitAkira1989 … hair…
*(RUSHING OF THE HALLOWEEN SEASON INTENSIFIES)*
The Beltsville Turkey: it escaped from the experiment station and now the world must call upon its greatest hero to stop it: the Chicken of Tomorrow!
This smacks of effort; I'm just going to heat up a burrito for dinner
And 60 years later, people still only cook Turkey once or twice a year.
Because it isn't actually that great most of the time.
Casserole is done when it becomes round.
I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING ~~!!~~~~~!!!!!
Happy Thanksgorging Everyone !!
One of the best lines ever! :)
My casserole became triangular….
Nothing says the holidays are on their way quite like receiving the first turkey service bulletin of the season.
17:33 always use your curse finger to read turkey charts...it sets your mood!
Hmm, the lady's oven has a cooking chart printed on the inside of the oven door. That's actually a really good idea!
Because nothing says "unwinding after a hot August day" like roasting a whole turkey. And then eating it outside.
While wearing a sweater.
@@psycher7 And risk exposing arm flesh?! I think not!
Pre-A/C days, so it probably was actually cooler outside in the shade.
you know you're in too deep when you start recognizing the library music in these shorts like old friends.
Recognized pieces from the "Home Economics Story"
and "Aquatic Wizards"
"Save the brass knuckles for if it doesn't cooperate."
I died. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bumpass hounds, proceed to sneak in through the kitchen door and ruin the turkey.
🤣 I wanted Chinese food anyway.
@@shannondore It’s got a head!
@@5roundsrapid263 🤣 It's smiling!
I love the shorts about food and cooking, and I love the Mary Jo and Bridget riffs!
The dad and his kid eating an entire turkey as a midnight snack is giving me serious 'Day of the Animals' PTSD flashbacks
So the short basically wants you to serve turkey at least twice a month. Mary Beth and Bridgett are hilarious! We need more!
We're gonna need Ben Murphy. He knows how to handle, talk and presumably eat turkey. Or turkeys.
Only works on jive turkeys, though
"Sam, my turkeys are at a slight angle"
No hangups- he's keeping it all mellow
@@HylianFox3 No way man, Ben Murphy is equally mellow when dealing with jive or plain turkeys. You should see him handle Black Barts too, no hassles and lots of Ben Murphy.
But he's as elusive as Robert Denby!
"Lucky guy. He's about to find out I'm Ben Murphy."
Giblets: those things you see in half-life when you use a rocket launcher instead of a gun. Turkeys are stuffed with first-person shooters.
Lost it at "mick jagger facelift", thank god for mst3k and rifftrax!!
5:32 Apparently this lady didn't pay attention to "Soapy the Germ Fighter".
"Would you just call Boston Market?!" I feel called out.
Ignoring the vernacular, that line is just too perfect: "...The turkey was a mule..." Hey Grandpa! What's for supper? "Mule!!!"
18:07 me and my Dad the night after thanksgiving... God I miss that man...
14:11. Turkey-roasting ovens used to come with handy seating maps of the House of Representatives on the door!
"Turkey makes a great pin code!" I cackled.
“Your turkey-any-day-of-the-year meal.”
“Except for National No Turkey Day.”
Man, that’s when I want turkey the _most._
I’ll be honest, since seeing this last year, I’ve actually used it a few times as a guide for roasting chickens. 😅😅 It’s good advice at its core, it’s just so dopey everywhere else. 🤣🤣
I work at a grocery store, so when I saw the turkeys I screamed and fell out the window like Carl Weathers in Happy Gilmore.
I have the same copper-bottomed pans, they were my late mother's. And has anyone else noticed the background music sounds more like it would be heard at a junior skating competition or recital?
Wow, I was just thinking Ice-Capades music!
@@deirdre108 YES! Or Circus on Ice music!
@@l.a.gothro3999 😂
@@l.a.gothro3999 “These two girls they make quite a pair/they will come from your worst nightmares…”
Bridget and Mary Jo, y'all knocked it out of the park with this one! Happy Thanksgiving!
I don’t know about you, but this definitely made me thankful for that true American classic tradition that is…the Johnny Longbow Stew Reference.
The one with corn...onions...chicken....tomatoes....peppers....
(sigh) onions...
@@Billinois78 Yup. THAT one!
I really wish there was a channel with just these two. They NEVER fail to crack me up it doesn’t matter what they are riffing.
I just love the "two bff's joking around vibe" you get from their riffing.
Loved it! Really eases you into that panicked, "What the hell am I doing?!" feeling for the holidays.
Has anyone noticed, that in the 1940s and '50s, young kids parents appeared to be in their 40s or 50s?
I think it's how we perceive age. Like when young teenage girls make themselves look older with certain clothing and makeup. Their haircuts and stuff just make them seem old to us
I was talking about this with a friend recently (after watching George Romero's Amusement Park and being shocked at how young the old people were) and I think part of it is that people who grew up in the Depression and pre-war era didn't get the same nutritional benefits that the post-war generation got, so adults born in the 10s or 20s would age quicker.
@@CinnamonGrrlErin1 Ah, I thought it was more the fact that parents back then were all in fact, alien clones sent to teach the human race good manners and respect and more importantly to have us all addicted to turkey dinners but you could be closer to the truth, I guess we'll never know for sure!
@@skeetsmcgrew3282 Exactly. Teenage girls just didn’t dress like they do now.
@@skeetsmcgrew3282 Yeah this! To them what they were wearing was clothes for stylish people in their 30s, but now it looks old fashioned and we associate it with our grandparents.
Can you still hear the turkeys gobbling, Clarice???
History teaches us that this effort to make roast turkey a year-round dish failed.
Instead, we got turkey bologna, turkey hotdogs and deli sliced turkey lunch meat.
And turkey burgers ,turkey chili,and turkey tacos
Turkey mince. Turkey bacon rashers. Turkey ham.
This RiffTrax is so good I wish I could watch it again for the first time. Maybe if I hit my head with this hammer…OW.
Hey, _RIFFTRAX!_
I bet I’m gonna like this!
I actually wanna try those pinwheels with mushroom sauce 👀
I'm thinking that casserole looks pretty tasty.
@@psycher7but did you eat it before or after it became round?
The Johnny Longbone call back gets me every time!!! LOL!!!
I'm not gonna lie, this makes me excited for November.
I love Bridget and Mary Jo. Always a fan of MST3K. First RiffTrax I experienced was Cat Women on The Moon, and I laughed my ass off.
The Experiment Station is gloriously creepy. It fills one's mind instantly with disturbing imagery.
Mary Jo and Bridget need a full movie!
Years later … and ‘Neck Juice’ makes a triumphant comeback 🤣
Lol! The pervy doctor from The Brain That Wouldn't Die didn't even TRY to make a delicious gravy from all that neck juice. What a waste.
It’s a good thing Jan in the Pan was able to get a flight out at the last minute. She makes the *best* green bean casserole.
Not gonna lie, that turkey pinwheel had my mouth watering.
I used the recipe here as a basis for making them with leftovers, and they're pretty good!
Mine too. I’ve actually gotten some decent advice from this short that I’ve used whenever I roast chickens. It’s really not bad advice, it’s just a bit dated and it’s delivered in such a dopey manner 😂
So I’m guessing this is where all those turkeys from that turkey counting short film went at the end of the song?
Well if I could chose to live on a farm playing that song or. Be turned into dinner by giants….ehhh it’s a toss up
This is surely going into the Thanksgiving Playlist for this year and every year after. Thanks Bridget & MJ. You are rockstars.
This Thanksgiving I plan to try stuffing my turkey with three pints of oysters.
This short can probably fit about 1,456,506 Turkeys!! My job is done! For I am! TURKEY VOLUME GUESSING MAN!!!
I can’t believe they didn’t reference that at all. Or, for that matter, Marryin’ Turkey from “Fun in Balloonland” or the counting with turkeys short.
@@fromthecheapseats7126 they weren’t drunk enough for the former.
15:40 Johnny Longbow's stew! Love Mary-Jo and Bridget :) "The secret ingredient is modesty..."
"In the same way you can have ever-ready that other guest insurance, a cold ham!"
I mean, yeah, I suppose that would insure against the eventuality of having guests.
This riff is now responsible for me learning who Budge Patty was!
16:38 These two are adorable when they're together. Even better when they break out the Minnesota flair doncha' know!
Someone call Turkey Volume Guessing Man!
"Daddy got paroled today!"
“…yayyy”
You had me at stuff with white lard that was my pick up line in college.
I thought the companion film would be "Ptomaine for beginning cooks"
You could toss some cold turkey in your purse if you had to hunt someone across the universe.
I usually only listen to Mike, Bill and Kevin's commentary but this one really showcases how funny Bridget and Mary Jo are.
Beltsville USDA is right by the University of Maryland! I used to pass it on my way down to school. Now I know what the screams were about.
I assume it was human screams ya heard.
Exam season.
I use that turkey salad recipe when I'm making turkey or chicken salad sandwiches. Lol
I love Bridget and Mary Jo. They're so funny together. ❤️❤️😋😁
After this short, I'm ready to give up cold turkey, cold turkey.
Happy Thanksgiving Rifftrax Crew! Props to Mary Jo and Bridget for riffing this one. I remember watching the Brad Jones riff from long ago, but this one was good too. 🦃
Shoutout to the Track of the Moon Beast references...! @15:40
Bridget forgot the “…sigh…” before chili.
2:10 this one got me good, I curled up my legs from laughing
I think we've found a new Rifftrax niche: Mary Jo and Bridget learning to cook. Brilliant. You ladies sure are funny.
I lost it when Bridget quoted Johnny Long Bow!
Now I have something to share with family this Thursday! In-between fights.
I swear, that song playing during the end is the same one from the beginning of "Home Economics and You."
12:46
Wait.
You cannot start a recipe step with “have ready a bunch of other ingredients you already cooked for twenty minutes.”
"Just right for a family of 45."
Who the hell has a family of 45!?!?! 😆😆😆
"A calculator is built into every turkey you buy."
Actually there is, it's that red button plastic thingy that's stuck in the turkey.
Mormons
That’s the self-destruct button!
Or the Duggars
But never enough stuffing 😂😂😂
Nice "Trail of the moon beast" reference.
@15:38 nice deep cut back to MST's Track of the Moon Beast and Johnny Longbow's Stew :D
The secret ingredient is always modesty lol
I kept hoping for a surprise cameo by TURKEY VOLUME GUESSING MAN. Thanks Rifftrax.
Going to try the turkey and rice casserole.
15:39 Epic callback 🤣
11:50
Isn’t that the dad from “date with your family?”
Guess they shoulda called it “date with your *other* family.”
Skin origami is one of the most disturbing concepts I’ve ever pondered.
17:57 Was this made before, in, or after 1949? Because that was the year saran wrap was invented. (Although they did have wax paper for over 20 years before that, so it's their fault if they get food poisoning for just leaving the turkey under a towel.)
It was either 1951 or 1955. I’m getting conflicting answers.
The Donna Reed/Gumby show stock music fits.
15:25 Was there only one kind of salad dressing in the fifties?
"The turkey is a mule."
That's one tiny, weird looking mule. 🐴
We take notes with calligraphy pens.