@@UmWhaaat Gordon B. Hinckley: Every convert needs "a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with 'the good word of God." He didn't say it for no reason ...
Every time my parents received a phone call asking for donations, their automatic response was that they donated to the Mormon church. It was a shortcut for them and a memorable focus point for me when I began to question how the donations were used by the church.
Thank you SO much! I'm touched. I am trying so hard to organize all the things I've collected over my life into more videos. The encouragement means SO much to me!
Right? It's like I had been dealing with all these assumptions that made sense on the surface, but its not at all what people are like if you actually look at the big picture. Totally revelatory!
Same. Only right before my faith crisis did I realize just how much anxiety I had over issues where I felt... deep down... there was a "there" there. And I truly didn't WANT to know more than the superficial.
Crisis of belonging.. I think you’ve hit on something..crisis of faith comes after crisis of belonging. That feels very true for me. I probably never would have left if I hadn’t been pushed to the margins, judged and ostracized after divorce. But after years of feeling pushed to the margins, I was not feeling like I belonged and started looking for “enrichment “ outside of what the church offered and eventually came across the massive body of evidence against the truth claims of the church.
It's... just our biology to coast along and conserve if areas don't actively hurt us. Only once we're suffering in those margins do we stop giving those areas of life a pass and say "hey, we've got to DO *something* here". Scary thing is: its true right now for many areas of life. Think of how many relationships are "good enough" that could be "literally the best they could be"... but the average person... we don't think twice, or even think to do ANYTHING differently, unless the relationship starts really failing... I've seen it over and over. VERY few people are really proactive and cultivate things that are "important, but not urgent"
@@kendelc That “facts” aren’t going to change someone’s mind. And also the part about setting/stating your intention. I’m hopeful this will equip me to better communicate with those I love.
Let me know what you find out! I'm listening more ... But even saying things like "What do you want from this conversation" or "I don't want to convince you, I just want to understand how you arrived at your position"... Hasn't been that welcomed among the religious ... Sigh
Where are the boundaries on the subjectivity of reality? Our perceptions of it may be subjective, biased, and unreliable to an extent, but reality isn't completely different for each person. I may believe with all the sincerity in the world that gravity isn't real, but that won't save me from it if I try to fly.
I wonder how all this applies to those that are neurodivergent. Perhaps those that shift their paradigms sooner or later than the acreage may be on the spectrum
True, this research is definitely with the caveat "on average." My sense is many that are neurodivergent will escape entrenched belief systems at a higher rate
Listening is so basic in communication, but it is sadly very rarely done well at all! Think of how many people in this world are STARVING to be seen, and heard...
They built that steak center where I lived at all the same Central Utah 1976 and you think with people not population back then you think they're going to pay for all that stupid
I think it would be helpful to define terms. Truth is immutable. Example: The earth revolves around the Sun. Belief is based on your view of the world. Example: Humans thought that they were the center of the Universe, so it followed that the earth was the center of the solar system. In other words, just because I believe something doesn't make it a universal truth. Also, facts and assumptions. Facts are based on truth. Example: the Sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Assumptions are based on your view of the world (your belief about the world). Example: In 1790, the common 'belief' was there were no stones in space.The French Academy of Sciences even passed a resolution saying they would no longer investigate reports of falling stones. Their reason was because, "there are none up their to fall." Facts don't change. Assumptions, on the other hand, are often based on false beliefs, or situations where not all truths are known so best possible 'guesses' are made. Spoiler alert: there's alot that is not known, which means alot of what we think we know is really just 'guesswork'. And lastly, data and information. Data is neither negative or positive. It doesn't care about your feelings. It just is or isn't. Example: The sun rise was at 6:02 AM MST. Information on the other hand, can be negative or positive. It tends to be characterized and influenced by what you include and/or leave out of the story you tell people, based on your assumptions and beliefs, or the perspective of the person telling you the 'information.' Example: To hike to the top of that hill to see the sunrise will only take 25 minutes. Its an easy hike, you don't need water, and you could do it in flip flops. All of that is information based on the assumption that the person is physically fit enough to walk that far, that its a cool 70°, the person is used to hiking in flip flops, etc. I am simply driving at the need to truthfully analyze our 'belief systems', because simply changing your mind doesn't necessarily mean you traded up. Most people just trade one set of beliefs for another set of beliefs. Loved the discussion!
I had a similar response. I loved the discussion, but i kept thinking things like, in an election, we count the votes, and the person with the most votes wins. Assuming the vote count was correct, the person with 100 votes wins over the person with 90. At some point, there has to be agreement that the person with 100 votes wins the election because 100 is greater than 90. I don’t think you can have meaningful elections without the immutable fact that 100 is greater than 90.
So good! I believe Landon is right when he says it's way easier to leave an institution if you don't have strong socially motivated ties to it.
Social ties can override our reasoning, almost every time...
I definitely think that’s why it was easier for me to leave. I never had close friends at church.
@@UmWhaaat Gordon B. Hinckley: Every convert needs "a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with 'the good word of God." He didn't say it for no reason
...
Am experiencing Post Traumatic Growth! Life is Beautiful.
How fantastic! It truly is an eye-opening experience once you allow yourself to move forward. SO GREAT
Every time my parents received a phone call asking for donations, their automatic response was that they donated to the Mormon church. It was a shortcut for them and a memorable focus point for me when I began to question how the donations were used by the church.
yep, once I found out about the SEC thing and hiding the billions of dollars... I... it is a very different organization than it appears, it seems.
Great guest---I love this episode. It made me think, and as you mentioned thinking is good!
Kendall is a fantastic guest! I can't wait till he comes back again. Thanks for this great episode.
Awww this made my DAY. THANK YOU!
Loved every part of this! Thank you!
You're very welcome! I still need help applying it lol. Has anything worked for you in ACTUAL practical application?
Great discussion! I really enjoyed it and will recommend it to others.
Yes! Spread it far and wide!
One of the best podcasts I’ve heard in the post Mormon realm. Thanks for the great content!
Thank you SO much! I'm touched. I am trying so hard to organize all the things I've collected over my life into more videos. The encouragement means SO much to me!
Excellent, excellent point. Thank you for putting that into words. Looking back and currently in my life, that makes so much sense! Love clarity!
Right? It's like I had been dealing with all these assumptions that made sense on the surface, but its not at all what people are like if you actually look at the big picture. Totally revelatory!
New subscriber here! So glad I found out about you on Mormon Stories.
Great episode. Thank you!
Thats very kind of you to say, thank youuuuuu!
Great episode. Really important in this day and age.
it really is! So often we jump to the simple (victim-villain) conclusion. When reality is a little more nuanced!
Guys, you’re all fantastic!!!!!!!! Thx so much for this episode!!!!!! Along with ALL of the other episodes, for that matter!!!!! You guys rock!!!!!
Commenting to help.
Great episode!
Thank you!!
Great episode! So helpful ❤ thank you!
26:43 I was the same. I thought, honestly, that I knew the sticky issues. But I only knew them superficially.
Same. Only right before my faith crisis did I realize just how much anxiety I had over issues where I felt... deep down... there was a "there" there. And I truly didn't WANT to know more than the superficial.
Crisis of belonging.. I think you’ve hit on something..crisis of faith comes after crisis of belonging. That feels very true for me. I probably never would have left if I hadn’t been pushed to the margins, judged and ostracized after divorce. But after years of feeling pushed to the margins, I was not feeling like I belonged and started looking for “enrichment “ outside of what the church offered and eventually came across the massive body of evidence against the truth claims of the church.
It's... just our biology to coast along and conserve if areas don't actively hurt us. Only once we're suffering in those margins do we stop giving those areas of life a pass and say "hey, we've got to DO *something* here". Scary thing is: its true right now for many areas of life. Think of how many relationships are "good enough" that could be "literally the best they could be"... but the average person... we don't think twice, or even think to do ANYTHING differently, unless the relationship starts really failing... I've seen it over and over. VERY few people are really proactive and cultivate things that are "important, but not urgent"
Thanks for the video. Very informative.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you, thank you for sharing this information! This is invaluable to me at this time in my life!
You're MOST welcome. What stood out to you the most?
@@kendelc That “facts” aren’t going to change someone’s mind. And also the part about setting/stating your intention. I’m hopeful this will equip me to better communicate with those I love.
Let me know what you find out! I'm listening more ... But even saying things like "What do you want from this conversation" or "I don't want to convince you, I just want to understand how you arrived at your position"... Hasn't been that welcomed among the religious ... Sigh
@@KendelChristensen Good to know.
Ive wanted to read this and definitely still will! This was super interesting and helpful in understanding myself and others better.
This area of research is SO fascinating. Naive realism is the default we all operate under until we know better. CRAZY!!
Thanks for this podcast! Im excited to listen to it since I love this book.
Hope you enjoy it!
I saw a gold and white dress. I tried squinting my eyes and POOF ! the dress was then blue and black! Amazing
The dress is a good metaphor, however I'm pretty sure there is a significant subset that can see both blue and gold (like myself)
oh wow, I wasn't aware of that! Can you explain the science behind that? Has it been studied at all?
Black/blue to me!
I've been in conversations where we're arguing passionately, but didn't actually disagree
Where are the boundaries on the subjectivity of reality? Our perceptions of it may be subjective, biased, and unreliable to an extent, but reality isn't completely different for each person. I may believe with all the sincerity in the world that gravity isn't real, but that won't save me from it if I try to fly.
Where do we find your book club?
I wonder how all this applies to those that are neurodivergent. Perhaps those that shift their paradigms sooner or later than the acreage may be on the spectrum
True, this research is definitely with the caveat "on average." My sense is many that are neurodivergent will escape entrenched belief systems at a higher rate
1:17:28 🤯
Listening is so basic in communication, but it is sadly very rarely done well at all! Think of how many people in this world are STARVING to be seen, and heard...
They built that steak center where I lived at all the same Central Utah 1976 and you think with people not population back then you think they're going to pay for all that stupid
I think it would be helpful to define terms. Truth is immutable. Example: The earth revolves around the Sun. Belief is based on your view of the world. Example: Humans thought that they were the center of the Universe, so it followed that the earth was the center of the solar system. In other words, just because I believe something doesn't make it a universal truth.
Also, facts and assumptions. Facts are based on truth. Example: the Sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Assumptions are based on your view of the world (your belief about the world). Example: In 1790, the common 'belief' was there were no stones in space.The French Academy of Sciences even passed a resolution saying they would no longer investigate reports of falling stones. Their reason was because, "there are none up their to fall." Facts don't change. Assumptions, on the other hand, are often based on false beliefs, or situations where not all truths are known so best possible 'guesses' are made. Spoiler alert: there's alot that is not known, which means alot of what we think we know is really just 'guesswork'.
And lastly, data and information. Data is neither negative or positive. It doesn't care about your feelings. It just is or isn't. Example: The sun rise was at 6:02 AM MST. Information on the other hand, can be negative or positive. It tends to be characterized and influenced by what you include and/or leave out of the story you tell people, based on your assumptions and beliefs, or the perspective of the person telling you the 'information.' Example: To hike to the top of that hill to see the sunrise will only take 25 minutes. Its an easy hike, you don't need water, and you could do it in flip flops. All of that is information based on the assumption that the person is physically fit enough to walk that far, that its a cool 70°, the person is used to hiking in flip flops, etc.
I am simply driving at the need to truthfully analyze our 'belief systems', because simply changing your mind doesn't necessarily mean you traded up. Most people just trade one set of beliefs for another set of beliefs.
Loved the discussion!
I had a similar response. I loved the discussion, but i kept thinking things like, in an election, we count the votes, and the person with the most votes wins. Assuming the vote count was correct, the person with 100 votes wins over the person with 90. At some point, there has to be agreement that the person with 100 votes wins the election because 100 is greater than 90. I don’t think you can have meaningful elections without the immutable fact that 100 is greater than 90.
Is it sinful to set up a “macro” in Microsoft Word to type “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” using “CTRL-L”?
No, it's just sinful to use Microsoft Word in the first place
@@ashtonsnelgrove2893 I bet Ensign Peak Advisors holds Microsoft stocks, so Word musst bei fine.
IS THAT LANDON ??? 🐦
On the thumbnail? No, that’s our guest Kendall!
Landon is the second reactance. Rebecca B. Is the third. Best wishes.