Toxic Habits The Stoics Want You To Stop Doing
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Marcus said we should “learn to ask of all actions, ‘Why are they doing that?’ Starting with your own.”
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Because of how Stoicism survives to us-mostly in the form of scraps and fragments and letters-we don’t exactly have a list of dos and don’ts. There are no Ten Commandments of Stoicism. No definitive book of what they believed or didn’t.
But in those scraps and fragments, we do get plenty. We know what Seneca tried to do every night as he closed the day. We know what Marcus tried to think about in the morning. We know what Epictetus and Musonius Rufus said we ought to avoid doing. It’s that latter category that’s worth thinking about today. What habits did the Stoics say we ought to cease, what vices should we avoid?
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Your channel popped up about a week ago, the day after my breakup with my gf of 3 years my first love. It couldn’t have come at a better time. It’s helped me get though my days without having negative thoughts. It even made me wanna start reading meditation -hays translation. I felt the pain of loosing the feeling of what love was. I wish you the best and thank you for helping me and everyone who’s going to a hard time🙏🏼❤️
I wish you success and self mastery
It's gonna be fine bro', strength to you 👍
Don't wish for an easy life, wish that it's hard and that you bear it well. Everything will be fine pal, you just have to let it.
Ive been there. Trust me, it will get better. I advise you to pursue philosophy. It not only helped me to get over a breakup, but also to discover myself, and make my life better and more interesting. Start journaling.
This is similar to what happened to me bro. This channel popped up at the exact perfect time
4:30 Don't seek power
5:42 Be free of passion
6:19 Stop complaining
6:47 Stop trusting appearances
7:31 Stop wanting beyond your means
Thankyou
thank you
🙌🙌🙌
Buy my course
Buy my book
I've put so much work into
Buy the course
Buy the book
...
Thanks for your research & sharing it with we who seek
With my mother passing last summer.
I just happened to stumble upon this channel and I started reading "how to be stoic".
Stoicism has helped me come to terms with my grieving and has opened my eyes to the support from my wife family and friends. ❤😊
I am a practicing Nichiren Buddhist, and I am amazed how close Stoicism - and what you advise - is to it! Nichiren wrote to a hot-headed samurai, "Worthy persons deserve to be called so because they are not carried away by the eight winds: prosperity, decline, disgrace, honor, praise, censure, suffering, and pleasure. They are neither elated by prosperity nor grieved by decline." Which is not to say one should be unemotional, or necessarily 'detached'; we're all only human, and we feel all these things, just try not to let them control you.
@Will Wilde All religions and philosophies at their true core agree on these basics
@@lawrencecongdon8882
True. All these principles are also found in the Bible.
Life is a weird, beautiful experience when you step back and look at it. Grateful to be here with you all, Working with a financial expert could truly set you up for life. I'm delighted I was able to contact my coach Rodger Michael Karl earlier this year because while others were busy whining about the downturn I was busy cashing out from my portfolio, finally making over 370k only for the first quarter. of the year.
Poverty isn't having too little; it's wanting more. What an incredible quote.
Or as the neo-liberals will tell you, poverty is having what you deserve. Please make do and work harder. ;-)
One bad habit I literally dropped was watching and following sporting events. And I worked in that industry but you start to realize you have ZERO influence over the outcomes and no amount of cheering, booing, or yelling will make a difference. Then, even if your team wins you don't materially gain anything but you've lost a lot of time to do other things.
Great Point!!! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I love watching my favorite sports teams play! I enjoy the games! Geaux social enjoyment of competitive play! Pizza, beer & friends from the other teams!
I have the four don't quotes written and taped to my front door. I speak each one outloud before I leave my home each time. Grateful 🙏😇🤗🦋❤️❣️
Complaining/ self victimizing is one of my biggest pet peeves in ppl. I can understand venting occasionally but if there is a new "woe is me" issue that comes up everytime I speak or see a person, I limit contact with them. Especially if you offer solutions and their response is a "yea...but".
Same here. The problem with me is that one of my two best friends complains a lot. Every time I see her, she goes on and on about her troubles and her glorified mental illnesses. I try not to get bothered by it, but it is really hard not to lash out and tell her to be quiet. Do you have any advice as to what I should do?
@@mahroosh1077 Recently, I spoke with an acquaintance who's like that. Within the first minute of seeing them, I noticed they started with the pity party. I interrupted them and told them I realized who they reminded me of- my mother. I told them I think they were addicted to suffering and they enjoy bringing the feeling of pity out of ppl. They stopped complaining to me since. Not sure if this helps but for me, they don't attempt to have those types of conversations with me anymore.
@@rubycubez1103 Interesting approach. Thanks, I appreciate your opinion!
I just finished Marcus Aurelius 'Meditations' for the first time today. Such a great read. Definitely, a book a will keep with me forever.
Amen 🙏 261 days no alcohol
6 weeks
Ryan you're a blessing to all of us
"You always have the option of having no opinion. There's never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone." AMEN!!! I could honestly use this in school lol. Everyone's always so judgemental of eveything. Its very tiring. Its comforting to hear the Emperor himself say, "You dont have to give a damn." Life would be so peaceful without all the worries about things that don't even involve me.
"As long as you live, keep learning how to live." - Seneca
I don't ever wanna be toxic, and just concentrate on being always helpful and useful always, and being a good person♥️
Yet Carl Jung the esteemed philosopher said, the more you resist, the more it persist.
So good luck with that, this is why almost none of the teachings Ryan shows work. He’s making problems out of nothingness, and yet offers no solutions but let it go. Simply backwards thinking.
You keep that prospect up
💜🙏and I will too!😁
A good mindset to have. Just be weary of the pitfall of "toxic positivity". That also exists.
@@BarryBizzle I have never heard of "Toxic Positivity" , sounds like a very contrived notion, one which I would never ever want subscribe to, very oxymoronic, and moribund😔
@@carolinewolf8334 Well let me preface by saying I'm not saying at all you shouldn't be positive. It's not really an Oxymoron though. Stoic philosophy, from my humble point of view, has aspects of acceptance of the things that occur. Now, take for instance a situation in which something not so nice happens in life. It can be toxic to not let yourself feel those feelings. Downplay them for example. Tell yourself you shouldn't be sad because you are strongwilled and positive and nothing will get you down. Or that other people have it worse for example.That is a form of toxic positivity. Stoicism is about acceptance, mindfulness and presence....not pretending that bad stuff doesn't happen. Or that you should be happy all the time. That is toxic and not healthy. Same thing goes for if you're being wronged or being take advantage of for example. Mind you though, these are just examples. But it's definitely not an Oxymoron. If you're unclear on what I wrote, just google it. You'll get the idea ;) Anyway, didn't mean to be a buzzkill by any means. Just delineating a pitfall of "wanting to be positive all the time", that I have discovered.
A challenge to practice, much less remember: Be Love. Thanks for your efforts, sir!
The editing is great. The content is as always, flawless.
The best piece of stoic wisdom I heard for dealing with my maturity and schizophrenia is, life's not a dress rehearsal
Thanks Ryan🙌🏻
All the best to you and yours.
A great reminder to never complain not even to ourselves. It reminds me speaking life into the situation;). We are as we think.
I loved this video! In fact, I have a blackboard at home on which I wrote all the Don'ts to discuss with my teenage boy and girl and transform them into Do, since our brains can't process the word Don't or No.
Thank you Ryan! From Argentina ❤
I love what you have to say, believe it and try to follow. For me the speed and urgency in your speech feels like typical new presentation in the US. It causes me to feel very anxious and tense. Perhaps it’s just my age. Thank you for all your work and gidance on practicing stoicism.
I’m just learning about Stoicism. Thank you.
Ryan my dream is starting to become having a conversation with you. I love you brother you’ve been actively changing my life day by day. Stay good.
Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD, and he is known for his philosophical reflections on life, leadership, and self-improvement. Here are some quotes from Marcus Aurelius that reflect his wisdom and insights:
"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."
"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts."
"Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them."
"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."
"The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury."
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
"The present moment is all we have, and it is in this moment that we find contentment and fulfillment."
"The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing."
These quotes from Marcus Aurelius reflect his stoic philosophy and emphasize the importance of self-awareness, inner strength, and finding contentment within oneself. They continue to inspire people to this day with their timeless wisdom.
Ryan and daily stoic every time taking me to the greatest history. Sometimes, i wish i could live in that time ❤
A difficulty for males is their financial responsibility for others. Many men are living very basic lives (no holidays, poor clothing, sub standard food) to provide for their family and give them security. I guess there is huge social pressure, ans difficult to say to your family 'I don't want more, and when I lose my job you're on your own'.
Totally true.
“Souls in a high state of advancement are often found in humble circumstances on Earth. By the same token, people in the upper strata of influence in human society are by no means in a blissful state of soul maturity. Often, just the reverse is true.”
― Michael Newton, Journey Of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives
I, innately, tend to to live/ act in line with stoic philosophy. Lately, though, I have been wondering how stoics would approach a world that doesn’t operate like them- e.g. how would a stoic navigate a toxic workplace? When would they say “enough is enough?” What might they do?
They also had to deal with idiots and arrogant people even at work (see Rutilius Rufus, he was involved in politics at that time, just as corrupt as it is now), what do the stoic principles teach us about these people? We cannot control what they say and do, but we can control how we react and we should make sure to live by our virtue.
"When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly." - Marcus Aurelius encourages a realistic mindset, acknowledging that encounters with difficult people are inevitable. By expecting challenging behavior, you can better prepare yourself to respond calmly and rationally.
"Choose not to be harmed, and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed, and you haven't been." - Marcus Aurelius suggests that our perception of others' rudeness ultimately determines its impact on us. By choosing not to let their behavior affect you emotionally, you can maintain inner peace and resilience.
Lastly, as always, focus on what you can control and ignore the things you can't control. You cannot control other people's toxic behaviour, but you can control your own behaviour and ensure you always maintain professional boundaries, act ethically and not let their toxicity make you resentful or affect your work. Remember, what toxic people say or do is everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. Be mindful of this, and rather than get frustrated, this fact will let you cultivate a small sense of empathy that they are coping with their problems by acting toxic. This is what helps me at work.
More women should watch your utube videos. I'm an elderly woman , and you are my go to. Thank you so much for these high-minded stoic information.
Think & Grow Rich is currently what I am reading. Such a experience and life saver.
Another toxic habit: Overthinking about the future.
As Seneca said: "The mind that is anxious about future events is miserable."
Anxiety - and Seneca was right, it sucks
I find everything up above my head, but thoughts about meaningful riddles I understand and learn
There is an old quote that I no longer remember where it came from (1972-1977) and it speaks to this. "What you cannot experience in a day is more than you need." This speaks to what do you own that benefits your life? What brings comfort to you? Admittedly, those that live by reading to learn have a larger then average library, but are all of those books of value to you and do you go back to them and reread them at some point? Can you compress those books down into notes that can be used later and with the same effect? What is the source of your knowledge base and how has it been validated through your life experiences?
I found this channel yesterday and i absolutely love it. I came across this stoicism philosophy, bc i watched the interview with Andrew Tate and Pierce Morgan, where Andrew says about "we need to teach young man about stoicism" and in my nativ language ive never heard this word neither its meaning. Nevertheless, ive watched a video about Khabib (the MMA fighter) and why he is so stoic and i was like "what this isnt just a behavior?". So thats how i landed here, and i love it, i find so many parallels between the quotes and my own behavior, its like a have a confirmation, that my life is on the right way to become happy and successful. ❤❤❤❤
I love at the 3 minute mark, you're with all your friends dressed decent, and you're rocking an iron maiden shirt.
I think for many of us it's not about having more and more. It's rather about getting rid of the shit we have in our lives, it's striving for relief and ultimately our idea of freedom. I'm also in such a situation currently, my life can be regarded as not going well: I'm in a deep burnout after running the rat race high speed for 22 years, abusive corporate jobs, all relationships failed (mostly due to my permanent exhaustion), so basically I'm a lonely ageing man in my mid 40ies with no partner or family, only a few close friends, with an exhausting unfulfilling career, living in a small rental apartment. Doesn't sound great, does it? I never wanted to acquire stuff or have more and more, but what I want now is to claim my life back, get rid of my terrible career, feel vital again, be able to sleep again, be able go get my libido back and enjoy sex again, etc. The capitalist rat race has robbed me of the fulfillment of basic human needs: love, intimacy, feeling safe with someone, community. I've been a working robot for most of my adult life, I have enough of it. Enough. I feel like such a failure although I have a "high" education and a well paid job, but nothing of it has ever been enjoyable.
I hope things get better for you man, if you dont mind I would like to ask your opinion about my dilemma. i am torn between working hard more like working 6 days a week because I aim to have a business and eventually be rich or just enjoy life, take my time and not work hard so much.
The businessman and the fisherman is a story of the typical motive with which many go into the workforce. Enjoying life is not celebrated as much as it should be. I hope you find your happy place and feel satisfied and loved.
@@p0tah7 Hi Franz, I don't know if I can give you any meaningful advice (also not knowing how old you are), but I'd recommend you ask yourself why being rich is so important to you? Do you want to live a high-end lifestyle (expensive house and car, clothes, luxury items, in other words: do you want to buy stuff?) or do you want freedom and be rich enough not to go to work anymore? I think stuff will likely not make you happy or content, there are so many examples of people who are wealthy and miserable. However, freedom might be a goal that is rather worthwhile striving for, but freedom can also be achieved by keeping your expenses low (=frugality), so that you never have to work so hard (and destroy yourself). I can only tell you: I worked too hard my entire life, which impaired my health. It was not worth it.
@@mettamia2008 Hi Metta, I never wanted to become "rich", I wanted to do "meaningful" work - this is why I became a cancer researcher. But I was exploited during my entire scientific career. You're right, I never celebrated life enough as my jobs always took a toll - and I regret it deeply. All I want now is peace and quietness and most important the absence of massive stress.
@@christophdenner8878 thanks for your response, I am in my early 30's and just like you said, I just want to get rich so I can afford to retire early and enjoy life. I hope it is not too late for you and you find whatever it is that makes living worthwhile.
Thank you for the videos. I unfortunately probably won't buy the courses due to the high price, but I will support you by buying the books. Enough said, nobody cares what I do, but I am still grateful for your work! Thank you Ryan.
Is there anyway you can reduce the amount of commercials in your content. Really enjoy the content beyond the massive amount of commercial breaks.
Great meditation- I love the mantra, "two ears and one mouth" as a reminder to practice what Thich Naht Hahn calls "deep listening". Acta non verba is equally powerful.
Money gives you better options, but it won't save you from every bad thing in life.
This content is so beautiful and powerful. I am immersed daily in the wisdom of the stoics via a program called Heroic, so much so that I became certified. This work, both for my own personal growth and with my clients, has been lifechanging and energizing. Thank you Ryan Holiday for this very important work! 💙
Ryan, ive been following yiu and reading some of your books, thanks for sharing all this knowledge. Hey that Iron Maiden shirt is the best, i absolutly love the contrast of ideas it between listening stoic wisdom vs seeing a heavy metal shirt!!! 🤘
Take care man, keep doing all this positive work! Thanks again 👊
Love you Ryan Holiday 🙏🏿
So Glad I found you!!!
I really like the knowledge but the plugs get a bit annoying and made me feel like I couldn’t trust the information
Working in an office full of women ill say one thing. Opinions are always free flowing whether i asked for them or not. Its something i have to block out
Thank you Ryan...needed to hear this today!
So many things resonated with me, thank you.🙏🏻💜✨️
Thank you, I'll use these words
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” 💯😎
Cool informercial
I'm not seeking more, I'm seeking enough.
What is the proper limit to someones wealth?
First, having what is essential.
Second, having what is enough.
I needed this 🙏
I've shared my self-improvement plan with a few of my close people...
Am I doomed?
Love your videos!
It's easy to say "two ears and one mouth" pre-electricity, internet and social media. From the moment we wake up we're hit by an avalanche of people and organisations screaming something at us - what to do, what to believe, what to buy. We probably need fewer ears and more mouths in the modern day, if we want our message to get across.
Turn it off or severely limit it. Its works to get away from social media. Im down to allowing 10 minutes a day.
Great video man and thanks for the tips
7:10 my guy looking fly. Shout out to coffee.
The obstacle is the WAY!!!!!!!!!!👊
Loving these
. Thank you for sharing
Can I complain *while* I'm taking action?
The Lord is my Shepherd. I have everything I need.
Great comment. The polar opposite the of Stoicism.
@@NotElvis "Live a good life. If there are God's and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are God's, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no God's, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” Marcus Aurelius
Quick stoic don'ts: never do these!
- don't be overheard complaining, not even to yourself
- put on airs about your self-improvement (don't talk about it)
- don't overindulge (moderation is key)
- don't speak more than you listen
Toxic Habits The Stoics Want You To Stop Doing:
1. don't seek power. powerful or rich people are often not happy. ask yourself: is getting this thing actually what you want, is it actually gonna make you happy?
2. be free of passion. transform negative feelings (jealousy, hatred...) into empathy and compassion for other people.
3. don't be overheard complaining, not even to yourself. don't whine to others, don't whine to yourself. the danger in complaining to yourself is that it gives you the pleasure you want by complaining instead of getting the pleasure by doing smth about it.
4. stop trusting appearances. avoid being scammed, avoid worthless promises.
5. stop wanting more when you have enough. you have so much, more than you need, more than other people will ever have. think about this. be thankful. otherwise you'll never have enough. you will keep wanting more and more and more -> you'll never be able to satisfy this need, you'll never be content.
Hi, I would like to buy some philosophy book about stoicism. It can be classic, something popular to begin with. I would like to hear advice, thank you!
Guys, you oer there in USA are lost in words. I hear all over the net coming from USA that some motions are negative! There is no such thing guys, pay attention at what you say, don't follow what someone said 200years ago. If you wanna adress an emotion you may say it is unpleasant, but not negative.
I love the stoïcisme !
Thanks ❤❤
Love your vids bro but it feels like the same content every time. I’m gonna buy your book :)
"Some people are so poor, all they have is money!"
Bob Marley
“It pays to take life seriously; things work out when you trust in God.” Proverbs 16:20. “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. “ Psalm 20:4
Best of youtube !!
All I heard was sign up for my course
Excellent.
Can you get this qualified for Certified Financial Planner continuing education?
I love you so much my God brother Ryan! Thank you ❤
Good 👍
I’m having some very serious health problems should I go back to er been 3 times in last two or so weeks??
Im wondering what the stoic opinion is on pleasure outside of marriage or relationship?
Hey Ryan, do you have any advice on how a very unconventional, soul driver person with no formal education could become a paid writer? I spent the winter writing several short stories and novellas, and have a lot of doubt about the "practicality" of this long standing dream of building a creativity based career. My life is very unconventional to say the least, and normal 9 to 5 job lifestyle would probably drive me to medicate heavily and lose my soul. I remember meeting Dennis McKenna when I snuck into the Intihuatana temple in Peru when I was 22, and told him I wanted to write books. He said, "oh you've got plenty of time to do all that." I'm 27 now and have a couple of pieces worked out. I have my doubts. I would want to self publish...yeah. the underground to above ground transition is a daunting one.
When I think how most Stoics lived and wealth. It doesn’t make sense.
From what book is the "free of passion" quote?
Nice shirt
What’s the piano piece called at 3:56?
Why is the video repeating the messages? The don't complain bit and the poverty bit are shown twice. Better if it were shorter, more concise and less repetitive.
Ryan you are Roman Patrician
Gossip is such a gross vice.
Selling a course in the middle of this video is so hypocritical…
Stoics dont really care what others are doing.
I was with you until the video got to the "A Stoic Guide to Being Rich, Free, and Happy." Please tell me you mean rich in virtue and that you're not promoting shooting for financially-motivated outcomes as a stoic.
Hey Ryan. I am always a bit confused by the never complain part. What if you are in a situation you need to complain to have your rights attended?
I think that's what he means by complaint vs. action: If the complaint is a direct form of advocacy, a tangible means to an end, then it is an action; if it is a passive form of complaining that serves more as a release valve for negative emotions, then it is more of a complaint with no intent or ability to effectuate the situation positively.
two ears one mouth is from epictetus
You've spent a lot of time to record something important that you want me to hear and understand. Why then do you overlay music and other background sounds that make it harder for me to hear your words? My response to distracting sounds is find something else.
why is this so messy and some stuff repeated several times plus some "get rich bro" thrown in the mix. What's this ??
I wanna hear Ryan holiday and Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate
Not to nitpick, but wearing an Iron Maiden or Metallica tee shirt is expressing an opinion.
Aww, damn! And here I am complaining!😂😂
That’s the problem with people ... Fickle & Opinionated ! ...
To complain is to be slave.
❤❤❤