As a therapist, I've had to many of those cases particularly with men! They were sexually abused by men when they were younger so their first sexual experience to them is the one that defines their sexuality. It's painful to see the victims having their world turn upside down by evil men who hurt them and used them for their own sexual gratification without any thought of the impact they are making to those kids/men's lives...So they go ''I know I am not gay because I fancy women, but sometimes I fancy men and maybe I am bi'' - their identity, sexuality seams to be lost forever for them....Well, until they met me.... lol
Would I have been different? I think I was likely predisposed to it, and when I was in his arms it was like a switch flipped and I just knew that's what I wanted .. I wondered for a while if it was like Stockholm Syndrome. I still hated him, because he tortured me first, then woke up all these feelings in me, and then I never saw him again. I was alone to confront my own sexuality starting at age 8, but I wasn't really sexual until puberty hit anyway. If I didn't have that experience I would have likely remained closeted for much longer .. having to confront things meant I had to literally tear all of my foundational beliefs down and rebuild them from scratch. That's what happens when people equate being gay with being less than human. I could not help who I fall in love with.. I hated men, because I was so clumsy .. they just expected me to know stuff and when I couldn't measure up they called me a pussy and a bunch of other stuff. That just fed into my belief that I really was other than straight. I hated them because they abused women, cheated on them, hit them, yelled at them. The people I loved, and there wasn't much I could do to stop it. They would get drunk and pass out, they would get angry and throw things against the wall. One of them even held me in his lap and cried, self soothing, telling ME it would be alright as he drove my mom out of the house. I've never wanted to punch someone so badly in my life but he had me pinned to his chest. That's when I knew that he literally didn't know how to be in right relationship. Any idiot can work a hammer, but do we teach men and boys how to relate properly with their families? Do we teach them how to resolve conflict properly? If the only tool you have in your belt is a fist, life is going to be harder then it needs to be. So for a long time I would have done anything to not be "like a man" up to and including wanting to be female. It was only in adult life when I finally met some decent, compassionate, empathetic grown men who taught me that all the stereotypes we are indoctrinated with aren't true. They used their strength to help others, and they made me feel better about having a penis. It was a weird sort of trick nature played on me, because as much as I wanted to write men off completely I was also deeply in love with the idea that one decent guy would love me, protect me and shield me from all of this craziness in my life while I was growing up. Hormones also didn't help. I've always just wanted to love people, I don't think I'll ever stop that .. And I really don't get why it's such a big deal if one guy loves another one. The few females I've genuinely loved .. they all seemed to need a friend more than a lover at the time. One of them, her first husband tried to kill her a few times and I was so young .. she really needed someone more mature. I''ve never regretted being a friend, although it sure seemed lonely sometimes. The way we treat sexuality in western society is just bizarre. No adult ever touched me, it was the kids .. that teen babysitter who tortured me first, random children who would just pull down their pants in front of me and ask me to sniff or lick things, the teen boys in the locker room who kissed me. And like adults just act oblivious and pretend nothing is going on .. to the point where they won't even tell their own daughters about menstruation or teach the boys respect. It's horrible. It leaves an environment ripe for abuse and predatory behavior. Lack of knowledge and lack of speaking out sucks. There is age appropriate information about relationships and sex that can be shared at every stage of life. I thought I had a very strange childhood, I couldn't figure out just what I was putting out there that these other people were picking up on. It took me a loong time until I read Kinsey and realized just what is "normal" and what is not.
How does he know for sure his bisexuality isn't the result of his abuse? It's conclusive that sexuality is not genetic, so you have to really wonder, I'm sure he's satisfied but I say there's a high likelihood he would never have had a gay feeling had this never happened. It doesn't really matter though, homosexuality is fine, it's innocuous
As a therapist, I've had to many of those cases particularly with men! They were sexually abused by men when they were younger so their first sexual experience to them is the one that defines their sexuality. It's painful to see the victims having their world turn upside down by evil men who hurt them and used them for their own sexual gratification without any thought of the impact they are making to those kids/men's lives...So they go ''I know I am not gay because I fancy women, but sometimes I fancy men and maybe I am bi'' - their identity, sexuality seams to be lost forever for them....Well, until they met me.... lol
💯
I struggled with my sexuality for years because of the sexual abuse I endured as a child till a few years ago
Hugs my friend. Much love
Would I have been different? I think I was likely predisposed to it, and when I was in his arms it was like a switch flipped and I just knew that's what I wanted .. I wondered for a while if it was like Stockholm Syndrome. I still hated him, because he tortured me first, then woke up all these feelings in me, and then I never saw him again. I was alone to confront my own sexuality starting at age 8, but I wasn't really sexual until puberty hit anyway.
If I didn't have that experience I would have likely remained closeted for much longer .. having to confront things meant I had to literally tear all of my foundational beliefs down and rebuild them from scratch. That's what happens when people equate being gay with being less than human. I could not help who I fall in love with..
I hated men, because I was so clumsy .. they just expected me to know stuff and when I couldn't measure up they called me a pussy and a bunch of other stuff. That just fed into my belief that I really was other than straight.
I hated them because they abused women, cheated on them, hit them, yelled at them. The people I loved, and there wasn't much I could do to stop it. They would get drunk and pass out, they would get angry and throw things against the wall.
One of them even held me in his lap and cried, self soothing, telling ME it would be alright as he drove my mom out of the house. I've never wanted to punch someone so badly in my life but he had me pinned to his chest.
That's when I knew that he literally didn't know how to be in right relationship. Any idiot can work a hammer, but do we teach men and boys how to relate properly with their families? Do we teach them how to resolve conflict properly? If the only tool you have in your belt is a fist, life is going to be harder then it needs to be.
So for a long time I would have done anything to not be "like a man" up to and including wanting to be female.
It was only in adult life when I finally met some decent, compassionate, empathetic grown men who taught me that all the stereotypes we are indoctrinated with aren't true. They used their strength to help others, and they made me feel better about having a penis.
It was a weird sort of trick nature played on me, because as much as I wanted to write men off completely I was also deeply in love with the idea that one decent guy would love me, protect me and shield me from all of this craziness in my life while I was growing up. Hormones also didn't help.
I've always just wanted to love people, I don't think I'll ever stop that .. And I really don't get why it's such a big deal if one guy loves another one.
The few females I've genuinely loved .. they all seemed to need a friend more than a lover at the time. One of them, her first husband tried to kill her a few times and I was so young .. she really needed someone more mature.
I''ve never regretted being a friend, although it sure seemed lonely sometimes.
The way we treat sexuality in western society is just bizarre. No adult ever touched me, it was the kids .. that teen babysitter who tortured me first, random children who would just pull down their pants in front of me and ask me to sniff or lick things, the teen boys in the locker room who kissed me. And like adults just act oblivious and pretend nothing is going on .. to the point where they won't even tell their own daughters about menstruation or teach the boys respect. It's horrible. It leaves an environment ripe for abuse and predatory behavior. Lack of knowledge and lack of speaking out sucks. There is age appropriate information about relationships and sex that can be shared at every stage of life.
I thought I had a very strange childhood, I couldn't figure out just what I was putting out there that these other people were picking up on. It took me a loong time until I read Kinsey and realized just what is "normal" and what is not.
How does he know for sure his bisexuality isn't the result of his abuse? It's conclusive that sexuality is not genetic, so you have to really wonder, I'm sure he's satisfied but I say there's a high likelihood he would never have had a gay feeling had this never happened. It doesn't really matter though, homosexuality is fine, it's innocuous
That's exactly what he said, did you even listen to the video, lmao 😂