this is perfect timing. i am struggling with letting anorexia go. i want to spiral, but i also want to go all-in because i know its the way for me. i am just terrified of actually commiting and spiraling again seems much more comfortable. thank you for this video, i will watch this now. so proud of how far you have come, millie. i am so glad you exist, you have a beautiful soul. 💕💕
Recover will be uncomfortable , because you’re used to your old ways. You know what the outcome will be if you choose your old ways. However, your brain is tricking you into thinking an ED is the best option. It’s better to live a life that isn’t full of food. Food should give us experiences and memories, not anxiety.
@@natalieherlt6127 thats really true. my rock bottom was in early october and i was miserble, exhausted and completely consumed by food and anorexia. i wasnt fun to be around anymore, couldnt focus and was so weak. i never got to my last goal weight and i never was a severe weight-that still is a big deal right now. i have gained some weight, but it isnt stable at all because i keep going back to starving myself or restricting when eating 3 meals and 3 snacks became too uncomfortable and i felt bloated and « fat ». I just have never been in real recovery for more than 2 weeks, and that was only one time because i was sick and tired of anorexia and i couldnt keep going. but i am not sick and tired of anorexia right now, because i am a little better than i was in october. i never got to my lowest weight again and i feel like in order to fully commit again i need to get to the point where i am so exhausted and weak like i was at my rock bottom. does that make sense? it seems impossible to take the heap and actually commit because its not as bad as it was right now. so thats why i feel the need to completely spiral and fall right back in. i miss being completely consumed without thinking about actually recovering 24/7 and just being 100% in my anorexia. actual recovery was so easy in october because i was so fed up that i was actually happy and excited. how do i do this? should i actually go for it? i dont feel ready at all. mental hunger is scary. like i am not actively dying 24/7 anymore but i am also not living. sorry for this long rant, thank you if you read all of this.
@@natalieherlt6127 thank you, your words are really true. i hit my absolute rock bottom in early october but i never got to my goal weight i ha at that point and i have never been at a severe weight. but i was so cold, exhausted, weak, tired, irritable and consumed that i was just fed up and sick of anorexia. i had 2 weeks of real anorexia recovery (almost listening to my mental hunger without restrictions) and it was so easy, exciting and i was actually happy. then, i gave in to my anorexia more and more. i only gained a little bit if weight, but at that time i felt incredibly bloated and uncomfortable and « fat ». so i started restricting again, had days and weeks where i starved myself again but i never got back to my lowest weight. now, i am stuck somewhere, i am better than i was at my lowest but i am still restricting and i would love to go back to starving completely again, not only a few days here and there when it gets too much. id love to see the numbers dropping rapidly again. but i’d also like to be fed up with anorexia again and i would love to be where i was in october; letting anorexia go because of the absolute anger i felt when i thought about everything that was taken from me. the thing is, i am not fed up with anorexia right now because i am not actively dying and starving 24/7 anymore and i feel like i need to get to that point again so that i can fully commit again. i am terrified. i want to go back. i so desperatetly want to. but i am also scared to go back. i have had so many half-hearted « attempts » where i just thought already before even starting them that i would go back to starving after a few days anyway. i feel like i am a failure at recovery and a failure at being anorexic because both is lacking. and both seems wrong and right at the same time. sorry for this long text but thank you for reading this much.
Ive been recovering for about a year now, I’m doing really amazing and I have no desire to go back. I’ve gained weight but I still haven’t got my period back although I’m doing every step I can to get it back. Do you have any suggestions!?
I am so proud of you, this is amazing ❤️🩹 menstrual health is weird and sometimes it can take quite a long time. Keep doing what you’re doing and if you’re concerned then chat to a doctor about it xxxx
I'm trying to recover too, but I am struggling with overexercise. Do you have any suggestions on how to quit? Like everytime I try to stop it, my head keeps tellling me that if I don't move and just eat i'll just gain weight and become fat and overweight(as I was before) which I don't want to go back to being
Your body doesn’t work like that, gorgeous, it needs food regardless of how much movement you’ve done. My biggest recommendation is to stop all exercise completely, and wear loose clothing and try to distract yourself as much as possible. Your body is smart, it’s not going to make you super unhealthy if you stop exercising, I promise. As someone who was so so scared of starting recovery, life is so much better in recovery. At the start it’s rlly rlly hard but in the hard moments are when you have to push through, because going through those moments will rewire your brain and and reduce those terrible thoughts. Addiction is giving up everything for one thing, recovery is giving up one thing for everything 💗
Try and remember that you don’t need to exercise to earn or burn food. It sounds like right now there is too much direct association between the two when there doesn’t need to be 💞 you don’t deserve to punish yourself this way. Sending so much love ❤️🩹
I'm trying to recover from 16 years of quasi recovery with relapses, and I'm really struggling at the moment. I'm on the verge of being overweight (some days I am overweight) and I just keep gaining. I've gained so much more weight than during any of my previous recovery episodes (eating kind of according to a meal plan/kind of intuitively), and I don't know what is going on. It's so scary, and I don't know what to do if I just keep gaining, soon my doctor will tell me that I have to lose weight, and I'm terrified of even buying new clothes, because what if they'll be too small in a couple of months. I don't understand what's happening to my body and I'm scared. Currently I'm following a meal plan that's apparently what a normal adult should eat, so I'm so confused.
@@Cessie93 according to the bmi chart I’m overweight too! It says nothing about your health, or relationship with food so please try not to think about it too much. I hope you can find full recovery, you deserve it ❤️🩹❤️🩹
@@Cessie93 overweight according to what? BMI is absolute bullshit. you should let your body handle it, it knows best. if you are gaining weight while recovering-its the way its supposed to be and it is absolutely okay. its terrifying, but you need to rewire your brain into not fearing weight gain anymore. and that doesnt work if you surpress your happy weight, your body isnt stupid. try to work with your body, not against it. you deserve it. 💕💕
@@PoppieJones2010 i hope you can find the courage to ask for help and open up about what you have been through. you shouldnt have to struggle alone. sending lots of love and strength-i believe in you.💕💕
Hi Poppie,l also have suffered from different eating disorders and alot of years trying to recover from them. I am 57 years old and my whole young life has been wasted on Depression and E.D. Poppies please talk to someone who can listen about the abuse. Don't waste your life.l beg you. God bless and all the best with your wonderful years and years ahead of you. ❤Sharon.
This came at the right time for me. Struggling so much right now. Not just with food, but my mental health in general. Its so hard to get started with recovery but I know I need to do it for myself
I’m recovered from anorexia, but I always come back to videos like this as an extra push to not go back. I appreciate what your doing ❤
@@natalieherlt6127 ❤️🩹❤️🩹
so proud of you. 💕💕✨✨
@ ❤️❤️
this is perfect timing. i am struggling with letting anorexia go. i want to spiral, but i also want to go all-in because i know its the way for me. i am just terrified of actually commiting and spiraling again seems much more comfortable. thank you for this video, i will watch this now. so proud of how far you have come, millie. i am so glad you exist, you have a beautiful soul. 💕💕
Recover will be uncomfortable , because you’re used to your old ways. You know what the outcome will be if you choose your old ways. However, your brain is tricking you into thinking an ED is the best option. It’s better to live a life that isn’t full of food. Food should give us experiences and memories, not anxiety.
@@natalieherlt6127 thats really true. my rock bottom was in early october and i was miserble, exhausted and completely consumed by food and anorexia. i wasnt fun to be around anymore, couldnt focus and was so weak. i never got to my last goal weight and i never was a severe weight-that still is a big deal right now. i have gained some weight, but it isnt stable at all because i keep going back to starving myself or restricting when eating 3 meals and 3 snacks became too uncomfortable and i felt bloated and « fat ». I just have never been in real recovery for more than 2 weeks, and that was only one time because i was sick and tired of anorexia and i couldnt keep going. but i am not sick and tired of anorexia right now, because i am a little better than i was in october. i never got to my lowest weight again and i feel like in order to fully commit again i need to get to the point where i am so exhausted and weak like i was at my rock bottom. does that make sense? it seems impossible to take the heap and actually commit because its not as bad as it was right now. so thats why i feel the need to completely spiral and fall right back in. i miss being completely consumed without thinking about actually recovering 24/7 and just being 100% in my anorexia. actual recovery was so easy in october because i was so fed up that i was actually happy and excited. how do i do this? should i actually go for it? i dont feel ready at all. mental hunger is scary. like i am not actively dying 24/7 anymore but i am also not living. sorry for this long rant, thank you if you read all of this.
@@natalieherlt6127 thank you, your words are really true. i hit my absolute rock bottom in early october but i never got to my goal weight i ha at that point and i have never been at a severe weight. but i was so cold, exhausted, weak, tired, irritable and consumed that i was just fed up and sick of anorexia. i had 2 weeks of real anorexia recovery (almost listening to my mental hunger without restrictions) and it was so easy, exciting and i was actually happy. then, i gave in to my anorexia more and more. i only gained a little bit if weight, but at that time i felt incredibly bloated and uncomfortable and « fat ». so i started restricting again, had days and weeks where i starved myself again but i never got back to my lowest weight. now, i am stuck somewhere, i am better than i was at my lowest but i am still restricting and i would love to go back to starving completely again, not only a few days here and there when it gets too much. id love to see the numbers dropping rapidly again. but i’d also like to be fed up with anorexia again and i would love to be where i was in october; letting anorexia go because of the absolute anger i felt when i thought about everything that was taken from me. the thing is, i am not fed up with anorexia right now because i am not actively dying and starving 24/7 anymore and i feel like i need to get to that point again so that i can fully commit again. i am terrified. i want to go back. i so desperatetly want to. but i am also scared to go back. i have had so many half-hearted « attempts » where i just thought already before even starting them that i would go back to starving after a few days anyway. i feel like i am a failure at recovery and a failure at being anorexic because both is lacking. and both seems wrong and right at the same time. sorry for this long text but thank you for reading this much.
@natalieherlt6127 💕💕
@@bettyyybooopp you can let the disorder go my love, you deserve to heal ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I really needed to hear this right now.. I literally cried listening to this
@@DominguezRodela sending you so much love ❤️🩹
@ ❤❤
Ive been recovering for about a year now, I’m doing really amazing and I have no desire to go back. I’ve gained weight but I still haven’t got my period back although I’m doing every step I can to get it back. Do you have any suggestions!?
I am so proud of you, this is amazing ❤️🩹 menstrual health is weird and sometimes it can take quite a long time. Keep doing what you’re doing and if you’re concerned then chat to a doctor about it xxxx
@ thank you so much, you are so amazing I hope you have an amazing day!!!
so proud of you! 💕💕
keep going.
@@bettyyybooopp thank you, I’m proud of you as well, your doing amazing!!
@@BrookeEvans24 we’ve got this💕💕 sending you lots of love
I'm trying to recover too, but I am struggling with overexercise. Do you have any suggestions on how to quit?
Like everytime I try to stop it, my head keeps tellling me that if I don't move and just eat i'll just gain weight and become fat and overweight(as I was before) which I don't want to go back to being
Your body doesn’t work like that, gorgeous, it needs food regardless of how much movement you’ve done. My biggest recommendation is to stop all exercise completely, and wear loose clothing and try to distract yourself as much as possible. Your body is smart, it’s not going to make you super unhealthy if you stop exercising, I promise. As someone who was so so scared of starting recovery, life is so much better in recovery. At the start it’s rlly rlly hard but in the hard moments are when you have to push through, because going through those moments will rewire your brain and and reduce those terrible thoughts. Addiction is giving up everything for one thing, recovery is giving up one thing for everything 💗
Take a break from excercise for a few weeks to show yourself that nothing bad will happen if you don’t do it :)
Try and remember that you don’t need to exercise to earn or burn food. It sounds like right now there is too much direct association between the two when there doesn’t need to be 💞 you don’t deserve to punish yourself this way. Sending so much love ❤️🩹
This is amazing, thank you so much for sharing xxxx
I'm trying to recover from 16 years of quasi recovery with relapses, and I'm really struggling at the moment. I'm on the verge of being overweight (some days I am overweight) and I just keep gaining. I've gained so much more weight than during any of my previous recovery episodes (eating kind of according to a meal plan/kind of intuitively), and I don't know what is going on. It's so scary, and I don't know what to do if I just keep gaining, soon my doctor will tell me that I have to lose weight, and I'm terrified of even buying new clothes, because what if they'll be too small in a couple of months. I don't understand what's happening to my body and I'm scared. Currently I'm following a meal plan that's apparently what a normal adult should eat, so I'm so confused.
@@Cessie93 according to the bmi chart I’m overweight too! It says nothing about your health, or relationship with food so please try not to think about it too much. I hope you can find full recovery, you deserve it ❤️🩹❤️🩹
@@Cessie93 overweight according to what? BMI is absolute bullshit. you should let your body handle it, it knows best. if you are gaining weight while recovering-its the way its supposed to be and it is absolutely okay. its terrifying, but you need to rewire your brain into not fearing weight gain anymore. and that doesnt work if you surpress your happy weight, your body isnt stupid. try to work with your body, not against it. you deserve it. 💕💕
How should I start challenge my fear foods
I can make a video on this topic 💞💞
@@__therealrapunzel yes please ❤❤
I’m 15 struggled with Anorexia for the last year, after many years of abuse which I still mainly keep to myself
@@PoppieJones2010 I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling, sending love 🫶🏻
@@PoppieJones2010 i hope you can find the courage to ask for help and open up about what you have been through. you shouldnt have to struggle alone. sending lots of love and strength-i believe in you.💕💕
@ thank u
@@PoppieJones2010 💕💕
Hi Poppie,l also have suffered from different eating disorders and alot of years trying to recover from them. I am 57 years old and my whole young life has been wasted on Depression and E.D. Poppies please talk to someone who can listen about the abuse. Don't waste your life.l beg you. God bless and all the best with your wonderful years and years ahead of you. ❤Sharon.
The timing of this 🫶🫶🫶
❤️🩹❤️🩹
Can you post a eat with me youtube short please
@Laurenjohnston243 yes of course! Xxx
This came at the right time for me. Struggling so much right now. Not just with food, but my mental health in general. Its so hard to get started with recovery but I know I need to do it for myself
@@katys2579 you can do this!! Sending love ❤️🩹❤️🩹
@@katys2579 proud of you! we’ve got this- we deserve to actually live, not just survive. 💕💕