I already know this intuitively, but I am amazed at how blind my female friends are! They will NOT see the red flags. I don't know why!! So it's great these videos are being made. Ladies, pay attention!! One thing I did disagree with him about is if a man is saying he wants a relationship but he's not quite ready yet and he wants to see where it goes- it is not the woman's fault it is actually the man's fault for lying. Women do not take the blame for falling for someone's lies. But do wise up.
Very true. It’s okay to BE ON A DIFFERENT PAGE. It’s okay, even, to not recognize it. It’s NOT, however, okay to start gas-lighting yourself or taking the blame for lies told by the other person. That’s on them. When you lie to someone, what you’re doing is removing their ability to make their own decisions. We cannot make clear, common-sense decisions based on lies. When we make decisions about a relationship that is based on lies, we most often make the WRONG decision. Yes, being naive can cause one to make decisions that don’t make sense, but that’s how we learn. Making poor decisions because we’ve been lied to-that’s NOT our fault or a display of naïveté ON OUR PART. I agree that women (or men) should ‘pay attention’ so as not to be referred to as ‘blind’ or not ‘having the ability’ to see the red flags. However if you’ve been lied to from the beginning-and have missed the red flags-don’t kick yourself. There are more people lying and gaming out there than most people realize. Those behaviors are owned by them. Directly for lying and INDIRECTLY when you make a poor decision based on those lies.
You are great!! Got my confidence back with your help. I no longer cry over one man and call wanting him back thinking he’s the only one. I block several instead-huge mind shift-thank you.
Intro: 0:00-0:43 How He Treats You With Power 0:44-3:15 Any Form Of "Let's See What Happens" 3:16-6:53 Negotiates In His Favor Only 6:54-10:02 Keep Close Detail On Escalation and Where It's Going 10:03-12:58 Look At Things In Terms Of Cost 12:59-16:12
What if he has introduced me to his mom who is currently in town, and a couple of his friends, he has met my mom and stooped over my aunts for Christmas then invited me to come to his friends for Christmas dinner. I have been very blunt with him, I’ve asked what he wants/ what he is looking for what his intentions are , etc and he says He wants to see where things go he says “ idk i thought we were past that point? You know where my key is your welcome to come over whenever etc,” basically expects me to just invite myself over or expect to see him nightly but then if he makes plans without me like grabbing a drink with his buddy he doesn’t tell me. I’m like I’m not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass waiting for you. I’ve told him since we met how important giving me a heads up is when it comes to plans and literally tonight he text me at 6pm and says “want to come over for salmon tonight?” LIKE WTF! We’ve been talking since the first week of October, hit it off from day 1. 2-3 hour phone conversations the first week or so before we started hanging out, he took me on a couple dates before sleeping together . Etc. I’m just so confused with this. Someone help please I’m so lost with this all, i feel like he is still getting over his ex -from over 6 months ago - and emotionally unavailable to a degree. I could be wrong
Men are not kings. Nor should you treat them like one . You decided what happens ladies. Stop pretending guys are so great. They are worse in serious relationships so use them like they do you.
@@Surfsup448 you should be. It's good for the mind and soul. Women have been brainwash to believe men have it all together. When majority are just insecure and looking for a weak woman to prey on.
@@munix9351 Most of them are gonna make your life miserable. Lol! Long term relationships are not always ideal. Just have a bunch of crushes and enjoy the short term thrill of them being attentive.
You are the first person to clearly explain all this, so it get through to me. Even this "if he doesn't like me, then why he sticks around" thing. And if it's months and nothing happens, it's time to shut him away. I used to hope a lot, because I assumed their mindset was like mine. Been a fool, ignored all the red flags (mostly because it was my first "prospective relationship" ever, never had too much conctact with men before). He pulled away, and I'm not having him back. The problem is we work together, so he couldnt ghost me and had to at least say "hello" (which is a funny thing, because before he started hitting on me, we hadn't talked at all. For years.) I'm so lucky he wasn't in this for sex, because at least, I haven't sleep with him, not valuing me at all!
Amazing amazing amazing, to the point, this is what exactly i am going through, and it makes everything crystal clear, elliot... I guess i need to drop this guy and just walk away....thank u...
Yep!! I'm going thru the same thing too. Elliot, where in the world are these 'GOOD MEN' that you speak of??? LOL! Thanks Elliot! Lets drop the dead weight ladies!!
Once I told a guy that I didn't want to sleep with him until we were in a committed relationship. The next time you talk to me he told me how he told all of his friends how crazy I was because I wanted to get married tomorrow.
I’m at about date 8/9 and have been wondering if I should give the “ultimatum” and this video is making me feel much more confident to do it 😌 ready for a commitment or to move on to the next
u make me smile with how blunt you are lol i need it sometimes cus i be tripping. always making these excuses for these dudes with no real long term investment ty
They get two weeks from me. I date for attention until they prove they're worthy. If they mess up theyre out. On average a man(child) doesn't get more than two weeks out of me. This is more fun, they put in so much investment and get nothing in the end 😈
@@spacepod100 most men in the Bay Area live hollow lives. This is not how I spend most of time. I just finished learning Moonlight Sonata 1st movement. I have no time to seriously date unworthy men "if you wanna buy me flowers just go ahead now, if you wanna talk for hours, go ahead now" That shit dont mean were in a relationship. Courtship should be fun with no expectation for sex or love
Hi Elliot, can you do a video about guys with a "save you for last" mentality please? If they like you, see a potential future with you, thinking it'll last, then why do they bother with other casual dates but won't proceed with you? It's like they're saving you for later cause they know if they build "context with you" they'd have to follow through cause they know you're an all or nothing deal and they're not ready yet. This is esp apparent when you haven't slept together and there's sexual tension between you, but you both won't cross that line. I understand that's fine and we should let this kind of person go, but what's the mentality behind it? If they know it could be serious with someone, why bother wasting time? Or are they bullshitting?
I'd say they're bullshitting cause you're a "maybe" or they want to keep you around as a placeholder while they evaluate their other options but want to sell it to you as something special. No one who meets someone they think is a great fit for them and truly wants to be with them would ever just put it off. Even if they want to, you'll sense that they're fighting it or can't help it. Don't believe in the TV shows! People are inherently selfish and will do that's best and most convenient and advantageous for them, not for you. They'll usually want to eat their cake and have it too, and they'll test to see if you'll let them do that. Hold your standards and boundaries and never be afraid to lose the person who isn't right for you. Cause the real cost is losing yourself.
About 14 years ago I fell in love with an amazing guy , and he ended up ending things on the grounds of deciding he wasn't ready or able to be in a relationship. All these years later and I still love him, but my life has moved on. . We still have a truly great connection. Either way... he STILL, over a decade later, is single and says he is not ready or able for relationship. Situationships is for the most part been his thing all these years. Not sure I understand what is the deal with him. He says he is cut off from his heart. I don't get tht impression at all. He's always been incredibly emotionally available for others. Idk, doesn't matter. I ended up friends with a girl who recently tried to date him and for a bit I had thought he'd changed. It was disappointing.
How about if its online and we haven't met cause of pandemic..should i stop talking when he says he is interested but not escalating? Does that count if its online?
Girls shouldn't allow Sex to happen without a relationship then. As long as they are agreeing to all this hook ups, casuals or "let's see, what happens," men will exploit it. They won't limit themselves to have sex only with the significant other (like many women would), so it's our job to limit them
Well not all woman have intention for a relationship either, so that would be okay. If you want a relationship with a man, than don't sleep with him unless he is happy to enter a relationship. Boom. Taken care of. Can't blame a man for having sec with woman if she is willing with or without the relationship
Over the years I learned to avoid any version of 'i don't know' as a plague when it comes to relationships. I only wish I knew all that 4 years ago or more : /. When it comes to the less passion. I believed the 'oh it's just how mature relationships go past that passion stage' what bs. I can still be very romantic and passionate. Your problem if you wanna be stale. (that's 9 years of relationship without even an engagement) smh i feel so dumb for being trusting and too understading.
It will be a year in 3 weeks. He's committed, I'm committed to him. BUT he tells me "I don't know if we have a future " ....breaks my heart. He's divorced and has 2 young children. I love him but him saying that about the future is a bright red flag.
Why are you entertaining children?? Get some self respect..17 year age gap in this era as well. Might as well be a 30 year age gap. Your entering your peri menopause 🤡
Elliot. What if you are in a committed relationship and then he just stops doing all that needs to take place to keep the “good” there? 6 months and he wanted the relationship but then he just starts acting irresponsible to “us”. ? Can you shed any light with an answer? Please this is a trip. Thank you as always.
Why do you need a personalized answer. LEAVE!!! Stop being so desperate that you accept BS. Where are your standards? Where is your self-love amd self-esteem? Do you like yourself and think you are valuable?? What would you do if your job decided they wanted to stop paying you for work but still expected you to show up every day? Use your BRAIN!!!!
How about this Eliot, guy sends me text after no contact, "thinking about you baby 😘" on different #. Then another text on regular #, "Always thinking about you baby 😘". Is this him texting someone else and then covering his mistake??
He's thinking about you when he's on his lonesome remembering the good one's he screwed up with...if he missed you he would call (not text), if he wanted you he'd make it happen, if he cares he will show it, if you are on his mind alot, he will do anything he can just to see you...not a "hey baby text i miss you."....that is not missing you, that is missing your attention xo
@@behavingbetterco Then don't date until the pandemic is over if you can't date properly. Males don't change. This is actually to their benefit because females are willing to take scraps because they are so thirsty for a relationship they are choosing to date during a pandemic anyway.
@@Cattitude369 I think it is to be observed in your reply: a conflation of the very natural human desire for connectivity and interaction with desperation or thirst...gender excluded. Your comment does not reflect the very real isolation that we as women and men are experiencing (some places more than others). It is just a presumption or regurgitation of the "fact," that men are predators and women are hopeless. I can not pretend that I am busy, I cannot indulge properly in "push/pull or the chase," because as a New Yorker I am at home and online, 24/7. Simultaneously, I refuse to exile myself by not seeing any men at this time. Another popular "dating coach," has a video posted in which he suggests that having sexual intercourse or cuddling with men, makes them like you more. Ironic. My perspective is that this content is mental and does not reflect the time we're in today. Nor does it reflect well on the entirety of men. Not all of them are avoidant or anxious, scum or emotionally available. It is capitalistic, it is for views, it is for profit. That is a subjective projection. I would of liked for your response to be more in alignment with my initial concern but thanks for engaging.
Elliot, I was a teacher for 30 years and I heard you make a common grammatical error when you said be "weary". The correct word is "wary" or 'leery". Weary means tired. Just want you to be the best you can be!
How do i test someone that is in another state? Ive made plans to meet a couple of times but things fell thru on his end and i wouldnt know about it for about a week or so. Or not hear from him in a week and he comes back about some emergency with a family friend and had to go out of state.
It would be truly wonderful if you could create these videos and address the elephant in the room as the guy who is your ex and father to your child… how do these things manifest in that situation
I guy with no expectations... Ok. A guy looks for a job and has no expectations to get for his work. So, even if does not get payed, that is ok. He has not even expectations to getting paid. No standarts for himself. It means most of the times, that he hopes, you have no expectations either. Run lady, run...
Elliot I’ve been using your tactics and I’ve seems to be more lonely than ever. No guy wants me they all want the assets and no relationship. As soon as they act weird I just block them. Don’t have time to hear the BS.
How do you test a friends with benefits? I’ll let it be known I chose to be fwb from the very beginning due to religion. But I’m curious what he thinks about me? Just FYI, he cooks me dinner AND he once had his best friends (a couple) join us for dinner -that he cooked. So....🤷🏼♀️
What do you need to test? You are okay being nothing more than a place for him to let his juice up in. That's all you're telling these guys you're worth so...🤷🏾♀️
@@Cattitude369 I’m the one who chose to be fwb. So that part I’m not wondering about. I was just curious as to the extent of his thoughts about me. Yes just a booty call. But do all booty calls make them home cooked meals, invite their friends over to dinner, remember everything I told him at the very beginning when we met which btw was like 2 years ago. 🤷🏼♀️
@@sirene7465 it is a big thing for me because I do not cook! He had it in his profile. So I told him that I mastered my skills in old school dishwashing . So he would cook dinner for me and then I would wash the dishes. But since my comment, it has fizzled out.
Ha ha so true. Mine used to say he goes at a slower pace than me. Six years on and his pace never moved up a notch.
👁️👄👁️
Lol
Oh dear🤣🤣
"Hope is the anchor that keeps you at shore" it's a bitter pill to swallow but so true.
I already know this intuitively, but I am amazed at how blind my female friends are! They will NOT see the red flags. I don't know why!! So it's great these videos are being made. Ladies, pay attention!! One thing I did disagree with him about is if a man is saying he wants a relationship but he's not quite ready yet and he wants to see where it goes- it is not the woman's fault it is actually the man's fault for lying. Women do not take the blame for falling for someone's lies. But do wise up.
Very true. It’s okay to BE ON A DIFFERENT PAGE. It’s okay, even, to not recognize it. It’s NOT, however, okay to start gas-lighting yourself or taking the blame for lies told by the other person. That’s on them. When you lie to someone, what you’re doing is removing their ability to make their own decisions. We cannot make clear, common-sense decisions based on lies. When we make decisions about a relationship that is based on lies, we most often make the WRONG decision. Yes, being naive can cause one to make decisions that don’t make sense, but that’s how we learn. Making poor decisions because we’ve been lied to-that’s NOT our fault or a display of naïveté ON OUR PART. I agree that women (or men) should ‘pay attention’ so as not to be referred to as ‘blind’ or not ‘having the ability’ to see the red flags. However if you’ve been lied to from the beginning-and have missed the red flags-don’t kick yourself. There are more people lying and gaming out there than most people realize. Those behaviors are owned by them. Directly for lying and INDIRECTLY when you make a poor decision based on those lies.
They see, but they don't want to so something about it
Immature guys should stay away from woman until they are grown. Woman are special beings. Leave them alone. Even you Mr. dating coach. Respect ✊
They won't, theyre after sex.
I completely disagree. Someone isn't special just because they are a woman...I've met plenty of women (and men) that suck.
Emotionally unavailable men everywhere . It’s all fun and games until a relationship is forming then the stone walling comes. The game playing .
Where was this video before i wasted 1.5 years with an on/off situation-ship????? 😂
You are great!! Got my confidence back with your help. I no longer cry over one man and call wanting him back thinking he’s the only one. I block several instead-huge mind shift-thank you.
its exactly as he says "I think many of you hold on to hope" 5:51 Cost me 2 years of my life.
Intro: 0:00-0:43
How He Treats You With Power 0:44-3:15
Any Form Of "Let's See What Happens" 3:16-6:53
Negotiates In His Favor Only 6:54-10:02
Keep Close Detail On Escalation and Where It's Going 10:03-12:58
Look At Things In Terms Of Cost 12:59-16:12
What if he has introduced me to his mom who is currently in town, and a couple of his friends, he has met my mom and stooped over my aunts for Christmas then invited me to come to his friends for Christmas dinner.
I have been very blunt with him, I’ve asked what he wants/ what he is looking for what his intentions are , etc and he says He wants to see where things go he says “ idk i thought we were past that point? You know where my key is your welcome to come over whenever etc,” basically expects me to just invite myself over or expect to see him nightly but then if he makes plans without me like grabbing a drink with his buddy he doesn’t tell me. I’m like I’m not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass waiting for you. I’ve told him since we met how important giving me a heads up is when it comes to plans and literally tonight he text me at 6pm and says “want to come over for salmon tonight?” LIKE WTF!
We’ve been talking since the first week of October, hit it off from day 1. 2-3 hour phone conversations the first week or so before we started hanging out, he took me on a couple dates before sleeping together . Etc. I’m just so confused with this.
Someone help please I’m so lost with this all, i feel like he is still getting over his ex -from over 6 months ago - and emotionally unavailable to a degree. I could be wrong
And he doesn’t have social media!!
@@syd9200 He’s just using you out of convenience. Sounds like you’re spiraling in too deep with this situationship. RUN AWAY!
has he asked you to be his girlfriend or not yet?
@@mellead8727 no
This guy is the truth. Not toxic, not wimpy. Just truths. Reality.
He’s right. Listen to him 👏🏽
This is exactly what happened to me recently. I’m already over it because if it’s not meant then I don’t even want it 🌸
You gotta participate in your own rescue. Walk away and forget them, they’re lying to you anyway. Stop caring for trash.
Both people have to have healthy mind sets and be emotionally available
Men are not kings. Nor should you treat them like one . You decided what happens ladies. Stop pretending guys are so great. They are worse in serious relationships so use them like they do you.
Amen
@@munix9351 Giving them to much control. They should have perfect qualities and bodies 2.. or dump them. Not hating just over this stuff.
@@Surfsup448 you should be. It's good for the mind and soul. Women have been brainwash to believe men have it all together. When majority are just insecure and looking for a weak woman to prey on.
@@munix9351 Most of them are gonna make your life miserable. Lol! Long term relationships are not always ideal. Just have a bunch of crushes and enjoy the short term thrill of them being attentive.
@@munix9351 Find one who is Godly! Who believes in the lords words. Or prepare for fights and dishonesty 😄
This dude is the truth! The only relationship coach I’m going to listen from now on!
Kev hick is good too
In a relationship but he still only what he can get. Doesn’t give at all. Man I’m answering this shit for myself. I’m listening I am!! Thank you
Your my favorite dating coach that get to the point!!
No sugar coating. Xx 💋
You are the first person to clearly explain all this, so it get through to me.
Even this "if he doesn't like me, then why he sticks around" thing.
And if it's months and nothing happens, it's time to shut him away. I used to hope a lot, because I assumed their mindset was like mine.
Been a fool, ignored all the red flags (mostly because it was my first "prospective relationship" ever, never had too much conctact with men before). He pulled away, and I'm not having him back. The problem is we work together, so he couldnt ghost me and had to at least say "hello" (which is a funny thing, because before he started hitting on me, we hadn't talked at all. For years.) I'm so lucky he wasn't in this for sex, because at least, I haven't sleep with him, not valuing me at all!
Or if they say “if it happens, it happens”
If I said that to a guy, it would be because I don’t feel sure about him, but I’m not ready to dump him.
@@user-oy2gr9ol5c so what does it mean when a guy’s says it? The same thing?
@@shutit4024 my guess is that since this is a passive statement, passive attitude, perhaps the guy doesn’t really care either way 🤷🏻♀️
@@user-oy2gr9ol5c yeah he doesn't care unfortunately...
Lisa 😂...it's happening babe, me and you and bunch of hot Aussies on the beach ❤️ 🇦🇺
"You need a muthaf___ with a plan!" And the church said, AMEN
AMENN
I want a MF with a plan….😊
Amazing amazing amazing, to the point, this is what exactly i am going through, and it makes everything crystal clear, elliot... I guess i need to drop this guy and just walk away....thank u...
Do it, it feels good and better and better with time.
Yep!! I'm going thru the same thing too. Elliot, where in the world are these 'GOOD MEN' that you speak of??? LOL! Thanks Elliot! Lets drop the dead weight ladies!!
You go girl!!
@@teresawallace8263 We losin 90kg in a minutes time💅
I been in my feels Elliot …dating again and since I tend to attract mainly on physical ..I have to sharpen my sifting skills haha ….love you !!!
Love your words Sir. It's on you, if you think a man's going to change, why if he has the benefits if a relationship. Pareeeachhhhh😁
It goes back to be logical if you are hooking up with someone and not saying anything that goes back to the guy thinking that you are cool with it.
Once I told a guy that I didn't want to sleep with him until we were in a committed relationship. The next time you talk to me he told me how he told all of his friends how crazy I was because I wanted to get married tomorrow.
This is bang on! Wish I watched this 5 months ago!!!
Always straight to the point 5*****
I’m at about date 8/9 and have been wondering if I should give the “ultimatum” and this video is making me feel much more confident to do it 😌 ready for a commitment or to move on to the next
u make me smile with how blunt you are lol i need it sometimes cus i be tripping. always making these excuses for these dudes with no real long term investment ty
I love u....u r amazing thank u for clearing this up. I'm gonna be a killer at dating ❤🤩🤩🤩
I love the way you spit some realness.
Love it. You too awesome fella !!
They get two weeks from me. I date for attention until they prove they're worthy. If they mess up theyre out. On average a man(child) doesn't get more than two weeks out of me. This is more fun, they put in so much investment and get nothing in the end 😈
Llol 🤣🤣
this seems like a very hollow way to live?
Love this ♥️
😂
@@spacepod100 most men in the Bay Area live hollow lives. This is not how I spend most of time. I just finished learning Moonlight Sonata 1st movement. I have no time to seriously date unworthy men "if you wanna buy me flowers just go ahead now, if you wanna talk for hours, go ahead now" That shit dont mean were in a relationship. Courtship should be fun with no expectation for sex or love
Hope is the anchor that keeps you at shore.
Damn! I felt that in my spirit.😔💯
😢🥺🥺
Such a good video. Thanks for the info!
I was just telling my sister about how much of a good dating coach you are. Hopefully she’ll check you out too.
YOU ROCK!!! I am SO Grateful for you!
Hi Elliot, can you do a video about guys with a "save you for last" mentality please? If they like you, see a potential future with you, thinking it'll last, then why do they bother with other casual dates but won't proceed with you? It's like they're saving you for later cause they know if they build "context with you" they'd have to follow through cause they know you're an all or nothing deal and they're not ready yet. This is esp apparent when you haven't slept together and there's sexual tension between you, but you both won't cross that line.
I understand that's fine and we should let this kind of person go, but what's the mentality behind it? If they know it could be serious with someone, why bother wasting time? Or are they bullshitting?
Any update?
I need an answer to this as well. Men “unintentionally” play too many games.
I'd say they're bullshitting cause you're a "maybe" or they want to keep you around as a placeholder while they evaluate their other options but want to sell it to you as something special. No one who meets someone they think is a great fit for them and truly wants to be with them would ever just put it off. Even if they want to, you'll sense that they're fighting it or can't help it. Don't believe in the TV shows! People are inherently selfish and will do that's best and most convenient and advantageous for them, not for you. They'll usually want to eat their cake and have it too, and they'll test to see if you'll let them do that. Hold your standards and boundaries and never be afraid to lose the person who isn't right for you. Cause the real cost is losing yourself.
@@1ofnootherthanks I needed to hear that ❤
Good morning Sir!! Thanks for all you do.
This is the earliest I've ever been, you read my mind, just the kind of video I need rn
Another helpful, on point video. Thank you, Elliot.
Its been 6wks. We talk everyday, thru out the day. Only seen each other twice. I definitely needed your videos today...
Means he is entertaining someone else. If he isn't showing up... show him out.
6 weeks and only seen twice??? 🚩
Hi Elliot!! I love when I see you posted a new video! Love ya!
Appreciated these practical points, Elliot. Happy Holidays to you, too! 🎄🌟✨🇨🇦
Love it!! Thank you
You’re far more interesting than my dates that’s for sure
Merry Christmas n Happy New Year 2021, Elliot!!
Thanks ! the first one is key Elliot
The minute 4:15 its says all!!!!
About 14 years ago I fell in love with an amazing guy , and he ended up ending things on the grounds of deciding he wasn't ready or able to be in a relationship.
All these years later and I still love him, but my life has moved on. . We still have a truly great connection. Either way... he STILL, over a decade later, is single and says he is not ready or able for relationship. Situationships is for the most part been his thing all these years. Not sure I understand what is the deal with him. He says he is cut off from his heart. I don't get tht impression at all. He's always been incredibly emotionally available for others.
Idk, doesn't matter. I ended up friends with a girl who recently tried to date him and for a bit I had thought he'd changed. It was disappointing.
Yes. Bang for his buck!! Damn man you are in it this morning!!
New sub, you speak sense!!
Thanks Elliot
what is he's all like... let's go with the flow..
whats ment to be will be ... he says 🤔
“You need a mother F**er with a plan” 😂love Elliot
How about if its online and we haven't met cause of pandemic..should i stop talking when he says he is interested but not escalating? Does that count if its online?
If a guy has NO INTENTION to have relationship, then he shouldn't have sex with that girl. PERIOD!!!
Girls shouldn't allow Sex to happen without a relationship then. As long as they are agreeing to all this hook ups, casuals or "let's see, what happens," men will exploit it. They won't limit themselves to have sex only with the significant other (like many women would), so it's our job to limit them
@@Dorafran86 If women don't exploit dont worry men won't either!
@@Dorafran86 There are always escorts for that! Thats why there are there for!
Well not all woman have intention for a relationship either, so that would be okay. If you want a relationship with a man, than don't sleep with him unless he is happy to enter a relationship. Boom. Taken care of. Can't blame a man for having sec with woman if she is willing with or without the relationship
What if I'm the one who's pushed him away? He pursued me for months and I pushed him away?
I love that I can and have the power too it’s amazing,
The economics of love!
Iv FINALLY got Elliot on a live - im on RUclips - how do I send in a question?? There's no comment bit like this bit so im kinda lost. & gutteed!😕🙈
Over the years I learned to avoid any version of 'i don't know' as a plague when it comes to relationships. I only wish I knew all that 4 years ago or more : /. When it comes to the less passion. I believed the 'oh it's just how mature relationships go past that passion stage' what bs. I can still be very romantic and passionate. Your problem if you wanna be stale. (that's 9 years of relationship without even an engagement) smh i feel so dumb for being trusting and too understading.
It’s all in the attitude
"Blowing up your shit"😂😂😂😂
It will be a year in 3 weeks. He's committed, I'm committed to him. BUT he tells me "I don't know if we have a future " ....breaks my heart. He's divorced and has 2 young children. I love him but him saying that about the future is a bright red flag.
Have you asked him why...
Tell it Elliot!!
Then he needs to man up!!
Background aint making it dude! Change it to 1 color
I never noticed til you said. Now it's annoying me.
Really enjoying these videos! 46 and met a 35 yo guy. He’s not calling. Lol...(Debbie downer voice) waaa wahhh 🙁
47 and met a 30 yr old who seemed to have his s*** together. He didn't. He said one day "Your heart is safe with me." Next day he ghosted. Mmhm.
Why are you entertaining children?? Get some self respect..17 year age gap in this era as well. Might as well be a 30 year age gap. Your entering your peri menopause 🤡
Elliot. What if you are in a committed relationship and then he just stops doing all that needs to take place to keep the “good” there? 6 months and he wanted the relationship but then he just starts acting irresponsible to “us”. ? Can you shed any light with an answer? Please this is a trip. Thank you as always.
Why do you need a personalized answer. LEAVE!!! Stop being so desperate that you accept BS. Where are your standards? Where is your self-love amd self-esteem? Do you like yourself and think you are valuable?? What would you do if your job decided they wanted to stop paying you for work but still expected you to show up every day? Use your BRAIN!!!!
Wow! Thanks I think!
How about this Eliot, guy sends me text after no contact, "thinking about you baby 😘" on different #. Then another text on regular #, "Always thinking about you baby 😘". Is this him texting someone else and then covering his mistake??
Omg.. forget him. No questions. He's a ghoster who needs attention to feed his ego so don't fall for it.
If a guy can't respect you enough to use your name dump him.
He's thinking about you when he's on his lonesome remembering the good one's he screwed up with...if he missed you he would call (not text), if he wanted you he'd make it happen, if he cares he will show it, if you are on his mind alot, he will do anything he can just to see you...not a "hey baby text i miss you."....that is not missing you, that is missing your attention xo
@@donna2693 He did call many times, but I never answered. I wonder if these dating coaches have ruined my life ;)
Why're "coaches" not acknowledging COVID and it's very real restrictions as it relates to dating...
TSCAPITALISM. THEIR ''BUZZ'' IS IDLE DURING PANDEMIC.
@@thelonemaiden It's a little rigid and unrealistic, especially here in New York, to have the same standards.
@@behavingbetterco Then don't date until the pandemic is over if you can't date properly. Males don't change. This is actually to their benefit because females are willing to take scraps because they are so thirsty for a relationship they are choosing to date during a pandemic anyway.
@@Cattitude369 I think it is to be observed in your reply: a conflation of the very natural human desire for connectivity and interaction with desperation or thirst...gender excluded. Your comment does not reflect the very real isolation that we as women and men are experiencing (some places more than others). It is just a presumption or regurgitation of the "fact," that men are predators and women are hopeless. I can not pretend that I am busy, I cannot indulge properly in "push/pull or the chase," because as a New Yorker I am at home and online, 24/7. Simultaneously, I refuse to exile myself by not seeing any men at this time. Another popular "dating coach," has a video posted in which he suggests that having sexual intercourse or cuddling with men, makes them like you more. Ironic. My perspective is that this content is mental and does not reflect the time we're in today. Nor does it reflect well on the entirety of men. Not all of them are avoidant or anxious, scum or emotionally available. It is capitalistic, it is for views, it is for profit. That is a subjective projection. I would of liked for your response to be more in alignment with my initial concern but thanks for engaging.
YES thank you. It completely changes things!
Like a mug I got played with the lets see what happens card and stayed for 3yrs and still no relationship. I did not know my worth.
Elliot, I was a teacher for 30 years and I heard you make a common grammatical error when you said be "weary". The correct word is "wary" or 'leery". Weary means tired. Just want you to be the best you can be!
How do i test someone that is in another state? Ive made plans to meet a couple of times but things fell thru on his end and i wouldnt know about it for about a week or so. Or not hear from him in a week and he comes back about some emergency with a family friend and had to go out of state.
It's all BS, stop wasting your time
@@ivbreeze3394 ya I stopped talking to them not long after writing that post. Thank u hun.
Greatest
It would be truly wonderful if you could create these videos and address the elephant in the room as the guy who is your ex and father to your child… how do these things manifest in that situation
It becomes a problem if he lies to get the assets.
What about a guy saying he has no expectations?
Just laugh it off, and back off after.
Hes not got any expections because he isn't capable of living up to anyone else's expections...he is telling you what he is about in that statement xo
I guy with no expectations...
Ok.
A guy looks for a job and has no expectations to get for his work. So, even if does not get payed, that is ok. He has not even expectations to getting paid. No standarts for himself.
It means most of the times, that he hopes, you have no expectations either.
Run lady, run...
You rock
Elliot when can we see you in a movie? You have movie personality PLZ ⏫🗳️ up vote
... don't need dating advise really. Just somehow got here and I'm trying to decide if I agree with you. Just so you know.
Random and hope someone can help me - 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I’m trying to become a member and his last live 4/7/21 I couldn’t figure it out. Helpppp. Thanks!
Elliot I’ve been using your tactics and I’ve seems to be more lonely than ever. No guy wants me they all want the assets and no relationship. As soon as they act weird I just block them. Don’t have time to hear the BS.
You should never feel lonely. Be happy and live your life
hahah this is so true. So, give him some baits.
How do you test a friends with benefits? I’ll let it be known I chose to be fwb from the very beginning due to religion. But I’m curious what he thinks about me? Just FYI, he cooks me dinner AND he once had his best friends (a couple) join us for dinner -that he cooked. So....🤷🏼♀️
What do you need to test? You are okay being nothing more than a place for him to let his juice up in. That's all you're telling these guys you're worth so...🤷🏾♀️
@@Cattitude369 I’m the one who chose to be fwb. So that part I’m not wondering about. I was just curious as to the extent of his thoughts about me. Yes just a booty call. But do all booty calls make them home cooked meals, invite their friends over to dinner, remember everything I told him at the very beginning when we met which btw was like 2 years ago. 🤷🏼♀️
@@heidilehman9009 he doesnt want you. 2 years?? Just move on.
Some men enjoy cooking, nothing special about that.
@@sirene7465 it is a big thing for me because I do not cook! He had it in his profile. So I told him that I mastered my skills in old school dishwashing . So he would cook dinner for me and then I would wash the dishes. But since my comment, it has fizzled out.
Lol 😂🤣 yesss works every time
Elliott your so hamdsome im single
Fantastic 😍💋 💝💖♥️❤️
Keep legs closed ladies, otherwise, why buy the cow.
Or have this same BS on repeat until the end of time.
Abstinent from even kissing till marriage. These are marriage lips 💋😂
Very happy 😍💋 💝💖♥️❤️
Need lovely 😍💋 💝💖❤️
🤙
What if he says that "I have doubts because we're different. But it may be a good thing that we're so different"
Breadcrumbing hun 😅
Who cares if you're different. You either want me or you don't. If not dueces...boy bye! That's what I say.
Anyone want to be my Boyfriend 😍💋 💝💖♥️❤️
🤙🏼
That's a guy with no plains for a relationship at all so go bye bye!!
Elliott do you like black women ;)?
🤣 He likes Asian women
@@semionwalker4 why do you say that
@@j-tenn226 Because it's true 🤷🏾♀️ he's said so in many of his videos. His live streams mainly. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!
He must like eating noodles
@I was gonna take a si p but I’m not thirsty no they dont
Need lovely 😍💋 💝💖❤️