it's like watching the movie of your life and not remembering having acted in the role. it's like only existing in the space between your eyes and your brain. Like your body is a giant robot or a puppet.
+jeremalaria YES! best description, i remember when i had it whilst increbly high, being disturbed by the fact that yes the thing i did a month was actually ME, its like, whaaaa? and i truly understood the meaning of only the present moment being real while in this state, I could clearly see how we were being and we only lived in the exact moment, and were passing through constantly, and the fact that the past is only memories, fluters, glisters of dust tha can be blown away, that can never be re lived, non existant.
I had depersonalisation for about a week, which was then followed by three weeks of panic attacks. This is how to get rid of DP and panic attacks: 1. Understand that what you're feeling is JUST ANXIETY. You ARE NOT dying. You ARE NOT going insane. This is the most important step. You need to believe this because it's the truth. What you're feeling is terrifying but it's just your body trying to protect you. 2. When you get feelings of DP, do not try and fight it. Just regard it as a nuisance that will eventually go away. If you fight it you will keep fearing it. The more fear you feel, the more your body produces adrenaline, which is what is fuelling your state of DP. This works for panic attacks as well. 3. Do not google symptoms of DP or videos like this. It's very counterproductive. Just read this comment and then decide that this is the only information you need from now on. The more you search, the more obsessed you will get about your situation, which makes you more afraid etc.. 4. Do not self medicate. Do not do alcohol and drugs. I would suggest that you don't take any antidepressants for it. You'll just be masking the problem instead of fixing it. 5. Live life as normally as you would. Focus on what you're doing. Socialise, go for walks and eat healthy. Also take vitamin supplements. 6. Practice positive thinking. When you feel that your mind is focusing too much on negative things, make an effort to think of good things. Like feeling grateful for the things in your life. 7. If you think you have personal issues or traumas that you need to sort through, find yourself a therapist and talk about them. If you follow these steps, you will slowly start getting better. It's been almost two months since my ordeal started. On most days I feel myself again. There are days when I feel like I'm relapsing into DP and I also feel the beginnings of panic attacks. However I now have the information to stop my brain into going in full panic mode and the feelings pass. I understand that it's just my body still producing an excess of adrenaline. Eventually it will realise that there's no real danger and everything will be back to normal. Also, now that I know what I know, I understand that I won't ever get DP and panic attacks like I did two months ago, because now I know how to deal with these things. Good luck 😉
Jesmond Mifsud I'm really thankful for what you said, the past half year has been the worst for me. I did all those things almost automaticaly and I do feel a lot better. I feel like the bond between my soul(?), my body and the real world does exist again and I'm not part of a simulation anymore. DP is curable.
@@juicebox2780 5 years here but just found out about DP DR i tried many things to try n fix it. I have symptoms of ptsd anxiety panic and lost alot because of this illness. I just started testosterone treatment and i have felt a slight improvement in how i feel. Good luck
Umm, I don't think it's a smart idea for you to give other people like me who dealt with DP for over 6YEARS when you yourself only had it for 1WEEK, like no, I myself still experience it, the best thing to do is to find a comfort zone or something comforting, and its less intense when you go somewhere you are familiar with like your home, parks, even your work where you are familiar with things and you know you are safe.
SOMETIMES when i look at my self in the mirror for about a minute or two staring at myself.. i feel like i dont know who i am and feel very weird and run down stairs and start talking to someone to change my mind:/
I think my self perception changes every day. Try working out, it takes some effort seperating the mental velcrow but in the end you know what you're capable of and who you are. Gives you more control over the seemingly uncontrollable
Derealization happens to me a LOT. But mostly, I only notice it when it is over, being like "Wow I suddenly feel so awake and alive now! What have I been doing those past few weeks/months? I have no idea". I always have to look it up in my calendar if someone asks me what I've been up to over the weekend or holidays - I can remember if I see an event tracked in there, I just completely lose track of time. Days feel like weeks and weeks feel like days. And I have trouble to remember events in the correct order, like I never know whether A happened before or after B if they are not directly linked. And I notice it when my boyfriend complains about me being so forgetful and spaced again. He thinks I do this on purpose :/ I mean I know that I kinda "use" it to snap out of reality, but no way I could induce this state of mind on purpose. Or make it go away, for that matter. It just does what it wants to do. And as I think there is a reason behind it, I'm okay with that most of times.
I also can only go by calender, if I don't look at it (which I often forget) I will not remember what to do. I could go on holiday and if someone asked me two days later what I have been upto, I most likely don't remember....until after the convo "oh yes I was away". I thought this only happens to old people! My partner also thought I did this on purpose, until he realised I myself get super frustrated at my lack of awareness or memory. I wasn't always like this!
I really want to thank you, you have no clue how hard describing my feeling has been the past time. I dont know if I have derealization but I think I do. I really want to thank you for helping to explain my feeling to my friends
Knowing your not alone was important for me to find out as well. I didn't know it was a thing, which is very relieving by itself. I actually feel more grounded just listening to your story. There is an unconscious bonding and strong connection between people who suffer. We can use that to our advantage and snap out of it for the long term!
It's true, I honestly had no idea there were so many out there feeling how I felt. It's comforting to not feel so lonely and isolated with our feelings/experiences.
Yes, thanks for sharing everything. The worst part about DR is it feeds anxiety (more specifically social anxiety). Most people I talk to don't even realize I have any of these issues. It turns into a struggle acting like you are fine and holding yourself together all the time while trying to let it go. I found that meditation helps a ton; seems to ground thoughts & works on thought patterns. A big problem for me is going to work and coding most of the day... it almost reverses everything gained, as you are forced to think abstractly in your head. lol
Siebe van den Elzen trust me you should go see a therapist, depersonalization can strike mighty hard especially in my case since I had OCD I thought everything was programmed but in the bottom of my heart Ik this was all too real also seeing my parents and relatives crying when I was having my panic attacks or just saying the stupidest shit made me realize i had to understand that this is not a dream and this is in fact reality. Trust me man it's hard but you got to be logical with yourself. Touch things, taste food go run feel the wind man, feel your heart pumping trust me it gets better and time heals everything. It truly does, also once you start doing this and actually being logical with yourself you start realizing how stupid you sounded and slowly you will realize this is reality.
Siebe van den Elzen Mindfulness Meditation is your best bet. Seriously don't dismiss it, it WILL help. Also, look into L-Tryptophan or 5 HTP and decide if it's right for you. Oh and definitely take Hidden Leaves advice and get outside. When it rains out go outside and embrace it.
Hi Siebe. I used to think like you. which is horrible. the best moment of my days we re the morning, just when I woke up. this moment the dream is just over and you just feel the reality so strongly. then it flew away some hours later... remembering this moment helped me. meditation is important too. find some help with a therapist if it stays, it s a common symptom.
About a year ago I had my first depersonalization experience. It was the scariest thing I have ever gone through. I thought I had lost my mind, I thought I was crazy, I thought I was going to have to be locked up in a mental institution because I was absolutely nuts. I'm going to describe my experience to you, Please don't read any further if this is a trigger for you!!** Everything in my life was in chaos. My dad was dying in the hospital and I was very stressed out. Like the most stressed and depressed I had ever been. Despite my depression I went about life day to day. But one morning when I woke up, I felt strange. I felt like I was still in the dream. I saw my hands and I didn't understand who was moving them. and I was like what?! Wtf? Because I knew it was me moving them, they were attached to the arms that were connected to my body. But it didn't look like this was my body, in fact it felt like my body was a shell and I was just seeing through binoculars or goggles...almost like watching a movie. I immediately stood up and I just stood there for who knows how long. I was trying to figure out, how could I have existed this whole time...how did I get to this point in my life, am I even real? Is anything real? I walked into the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and I couldn't see my reflection, I literally was just staring at a stranger. I didn't know who that was, I knew it should have been my face looking back at me because thats how mirrors work, but I didn't recognize myself. I was very scared. I kept touching the mirror and seeing my hand get closer to it but it didn't feel like it was mine. I knew I had to talk to someone. My husband was gone and he had dropped our daughter off at school. So there was no one home. I couldn't figure out how to talk to someone. I eventually found the phone and knew I could call my husband but I couldn't bring my focus to the phone to dial it. I kept going back to the mirror and staring at my hands. I eventually called my husband and told him I didn't feel like myself and I felt like everything was fake and a dream. He said I was just feeling anxiety because of my dad and that I would be ok. This went on for months. It was the most terrifying thing ever. I began to 100% believe that nothing was real. That everything was a dream, I felt like I had awoken from the matrix. I became obsessed with it, I started googling stuff, but I didn't know what it was called or what to look for, so I would google things like "are we all just dreaming" and "I feel like I'm trapped inside of my body." Eventually it paid off because I ended up on a Depersonalization Disorder website (DPD) and I felt this HUGE overwhelming feeling of relief. I wasn't alone. Everything I read, I understood. There were other people with this, I wasn't crazy and hopefully it would go away. I did some more research and read more about peoples experiences and how they overcame it. And slowly things started coming back into focus and I don't remember when but I was myself again. I felt human, I felt like my hands were mine and I knew the girl in the mirror was me. Please you guys, please know that YOU ARE REAL! THOSE ARE YOUR HANDS, ITS YOU IN THE MIRROR! ITS YOUR PICTURE. YOU ARE CONTROLLING YOUR BODY. THIS WILL PASS, IT'S NOT FOREVER!
Thank you for this post I had this around two years ago And now it's back It came back like 4 days ago I'm better each day but still I have that question "is this all real ? How can I know if it's real ? " I hope it'll be gone soon... I'm really getting crazy about it :(
Wow everything she described is how I’ve felt for the last 10 years. I didn’t even consider it being a recognized psychological condition. I saw a psychiatrist for my depression and anxiety and was too scared to tell him about the derealization I’ve been living with since my dad passed away when I was 16. I was so in my own head on this that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone because I thought they’d think I’m crazy. It’s amazing how people can connect on here and share their experiences, it’s really helped me not feel so much like an alien or something
Had those derealization moments many times when I was a kid/teenager, so weird. Just suddenly it started when people around. But last summer it happened again. I was very tired and driving a car 500km distance (lucky to be alive). It felt like a dream, numb and a lot of deja vu feelings on the way. The scary thing for me was it continued to the next day. Horrible feeling that some people live derealization for months? :( Anyone else have those deja vu feelings? Scary stuff.
Spot on, I've had DP (not DR) since I was 9 on and off with Deja vu and existential angst. Deja Vu happened when I'm extremely fatigued mostly. which is obviously terrifying. I'm 62 now. Did my MSc dissertation on DP, extremely complex. No official cure, but plenty of mitigating options. it seems that it gets better as time goes on.
I'm in my 60's. My whole life has been a living hell because of this disorder. And yes, it does help to know you're not alone in your suffering. Thank you.
MaGiiK WizDom you still never get used to it. of course sometimes you ignore it and pretend you're okay but then you always come back to to thinking of ways to get rid of it. so far I've found nothing.
John DeBiasi Very encourageing bro honestly all i have is God. So i pray and worship him holy. I know my God will take me away from this pain and he knows and understands it.
Thank you for shedding light on this condition. In college I was battling a 10-year eating disorder and had newly diagnosed panic disorder. Unfortunately, the DR/DP that comes with panic disorder made me feel like I couldn't drive anymore, and 15 years later, I still don't drive because of it. My heart goes out to all who experience this, because it can be debilitating to different degrees. The key (part anyway) is to keep your mind grounded and to be aware of your surroundings and "get outta your head" when you find your thoughts taking you too far from the present.
I once went through something fairly traumatic for a while when I was 17, and I remember going to school and I always thought it was just shock...and maybe it was. It felt like time was weird, like I was in slow motion or something. I couldn't hear anything, and my memory is always foggy surrounding all of those moments. I had that happen when I was 8, after my grandmother died...when it happens, I remember a few moments while I'm in the trance, then I don't remember anything at all. When I graduated high school, the same school year as the traumatic period, it almost happened again, but stopped when my name was called. Idk if it ever happened again, but after hearing about this, I now wonder if it was the derealization and depersonalization rather than shock...I also had at least 1 dissociation experience during the begging of the traumatic period of my life, and it was like I left my body, was near the ceiling in the corner of the room, looking down over everything...Idk how long I was like that either...but now I am curious about what really was going on during those moments of shock and dissociation...?
Ive had this disorder the majority of my life, my earliest memory of experiencing derealization was when i was 7 (I am 21 now), It really does feel like a dream, and as if you are seeing through a fog, this is a great video to help people understand what we are going through.
+annabelle offor Wow, you should be making videos, I only had it since 2009. You're such a strong person. I am glad you get on with life and don't let it stop you from living as fully as you possibly can with it :)
i was at most 12 when i first experienced it, i was scared, and alone and couldnt explain it to anyone, you have no idea how gr8ful i am knowing im not alone on this one, for 5 years i've been looking it up, never had any luck but here i am knowing it has a name is enough to make me feel better
Great topic..The difficult cure is in continuing life and " feeling the fear and doing it anyways" mindset. It might take you three attempts just to go to the store.. but by the fourth you'll definitely feel less dreamy by the 4th time.. relearn life.. takes 2 -3 years. But is NOT forever
i got mine year 2009 then i learn to forget about it year 2013-2015 then now im having episodes again.. i hate remembering about it cuz that time it is triggered xD
The place where I live in Asia Pakistan, almost nobody knew what I was going through and they had never heard of any such term as derealization. I suffered this for 2 long years and with the medication I came out of it but the results were much worse as I got into bipolar disorder then and now I have to be on medication for all my life. Anways many prayers for you from myside. Thank You for educating people about it!
Out of all the derealization videos I've seen you are the one that connects to exactly how I feel with the whole vision change its like your mental vision is becoming disconnected like you're in a dream this would happen to me every single morning for 8 months straight and would last for nine hours at least and still comes off and on thank you for being so strong and you are not alone I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy seeing a lot of people that have this makes me feel better but worse the same time because I wouldn't want anyone to go through this I really thought I was going crazy or something was wrong with me or that I was going to die and the constant philosophically thinking gets very overwhelming to when you already are a very deep thinker, it just snaps on like a light switch out of nowhere sometimes anxiety triggers it and sometimes nothing triggers it but I am getting better slowly and now it only comes about once a week to once a month it sucks tho lol
I've had it for three years and just tonight I found out what it was called and seeing this, thank you for helping me feel less alone, it means so much
It really is horrible feeling like you are the only one with this. You are definitely not alone and it is helpful to have a name to it, so easier to research about it etc. I sincerely hope you will get through it soon, or at least get to a better place soon. Take good care
i know this i experienced this ,this DP comes when you feel hopeless when u feel you have no control and desperation starts to take place to the point of depersonalization it usualy comes from trauma and panic attacks because these panic attacks feel like out of your control you start stepping away from reality denying yourself , and the cause of DP is the result of anxieties depression you need to accept everything about you it's a state of denyal accept yourself as you are and go do things in your life you may feel like ""im faking it " but that feeling is the fake feeling don't try to focus on yourself don't try to check if you got rid of this state it is nothing you create it you can destroy it too
I had this for to years it was terrible the thoughts and emotions that go through your mind are indescribable . but I got through it and I'm totally free of it . my advice to anyone that suffers with this is clean up your diet and train . join a gym go running exercise at home I cannot tell you how helpful this was for me . and remember you were OK yesterday your OK now and you'll be OK tomorrow . this will go away but don't fight it let it go away . peace out brothers and sisters
i seriously only found out about this today, and from all ive seen it just ticks all the boxes. the whole faded feeling of reality and vision, dreams sometimes seeming more real than waking, definitely the whole constant philosophical thinking part. knowing im not the only one has brightened my mood tenfold so thanku :)
I'm 13 and have this. I haven't told my family, I tried, but they did not understand and thought it was just where the weather was hot and I was going dizzy so I never brought the conversation up again. I feel this every day and have felt it for 2 years now. I can't deal no longer and whenever I try to explain to somebody about this, they do not understand whatsoever, I don't know what to do.
When I'm having an anxiety attack, I get this weird sense of everyone around me isn't real, or I'm numb. And I feel like I'm going full blown crazy. It's a terrifying feeling. :( I hate it so much.
This was amazing! Thank you so much! My anxiety led to derealization and my primary symptom was (as you listed) those deep philosophical thoughts! Knowing there are more of you out there like me is such a relief. For those of you that need support, this is the kind of stuff you need to tune into! Thank you crazilyloved!
I had DR/DP. Emphasis on HAD for roughly a year and a half. Let me just tell you it is in fact 100% CURABLE. Distraction... Distraction is KEY on how you're going to cure yourself. I remember I had DR for 7 months from developing depression, somehow I had forgotten about it once I had gotten better and was free from this disorder. One random day I remembered it and BAM, I was yet again struck with this terrible dreamlike state. This time, it was 10x worse and it hindered me from performing in school properly. Fast forward and I had transferred colleges and was CRAZY busy with a new school, friends, and clubs that took up my entire schedule. That was my cure. To completely envelope myself in new hobbies and an environment that didn't allow me to think of anything but to enjoy myself. So, those who are going through something like this, I challenge you to do just that and to commit yourself to it. You will and most definitely be able to cure yourself without a doubt. Please message me if you need more guidance
Wow. I've just recently heard about derealisation and watching your video I felt shivers going down my spine. I never really could explain my eyesight so everybody would understand how it feels. The way you're describing it is just the way I experience it. Also all the other symptoms you're describing seem just too familiar to me. This is unbelievable. After more than 20 years that I've been struggling I feel I might have found what I'm suffering from. After many doctors telling me I'm perfectly healthy and psychologists sending me back to the doctors to check again. After 20 years of feeling completely alone and helpless with my symptoms I finally know that I'm not alone and can connect to other people. This is great, I feel so relieved, thank you for your video and all the best!
A fellow gym buddie was speaking to me at my place of work, we conversed for a few minutes... Although I felt super awkward, I felt too detached, I was in my dream state. Awful feeling especially when the person doesn't know what you're experiencing..
I stumbled on this video by accident and now I'm sat here crying because I thought I was crazy and now I can put a name and a description with what i've been feeling for two years. Thank you so much for making this!
Hi Abbey, I am glad it helped you put a name to what you are going through. And you are so not alone, a lot of people are along beside you. Take good care.
I can totally relate to this. Thank you for making this video! I just went through a tumultuous recovery from anorexia and depression. And for all there were vivid moments I felt i was living in a haze and i didn't know what was real and what was not anymore. I thought I was losing my mind! It was so scary. I also understand when you describe how you felt out of your body and seem to feel like you're floating and disconnected from yourself. For months and at times now, it's getting a lot better though thankfully :) I still feel like that and it's as if I feel so lost and 'i'm not me' and having this out of body experience. When I do, I take the time to reconnect to myself, it's good practice, sometimes we just need moments of disconnection to reconnect with ourselves :)
Thanks for sharing, I can totally relate to you. I am also learning to reconnect with myself, present surroundings and connecting with my senses (touch, taste, smell, see etc), really hard first months but way better now!
I think you're explaining these things really well. I have it too, had it for years. I think a good way to explain it is your view feels like it's through a tv screen, like ur eyes are at the back of your head lol. It's really strange
When I was about halfway through 6th grade. I started felt unwanted at school and worthless in general. I started having suicidal thoughts and depression. Around this time I also started to have a weird phenomenon occur ever so often. when looking in the mirror, I would lose track of who I was. I would mouth the phrase "I'm me" hundreds of times in the mirror until I had a huge adrenaline rush as i came back to reality. I realize now that this was probably depersonalization. As my depression got worse, so did my eyesight, and I had to get glasses at age 12. I realized how much I hated the school I went to so I went to a different school for 8th grade. I slowly lost my depression and no longer had the depersonalization attacks. What's really weird though is that over Christmas break of 8th grade I lost my glasses and decided to go without them. I took a vision test without glasses or contacts and was prescribed with 20/20 vision. My vision had returned to normal . . .
I have been living with depersonalization/derealization since since grade 3 and I'm in grade 9 now. I feel like there's no cure and it effects my life so much.
Emily Auger how are you feeling now? I recently got derealization ((it's my 4th month living with derealization)). Sometimes it goes away but then it comes back. It's very hard to deal with this... But, yeah, everything will be fine
I have no idea where this started, but I feel like I'm behind a glass wall, just observing the world, or playing an RPG. Almost every person I know or meet stays behind the said wall never traversing it, except a special few who I don't recognize as a part of the dream and am able to tell that they exist in one way or another. Sometimes I look around and what I see doesn't really get to me and my body doesn't seem like it belongs to me. I have trouble concentrating but have no memory problems. I feel absent most of the time, always lost in my imagination as it gives me comfort, I don't feel like I belong here and feel like I live inside my head. I can never wrap my mind around the fact that the world actually exists. It doesn't. It feels like a dream or an alternate universe, and the true me is somewhere else. The whole real world is somewhere else. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but if I do have this disorder I know it didn't appear out of the blue. I don't know, I just felt like sharing this.
Times when I go out drinking with friends trigger this for me. Only when I don’t have enough sleep. I’ll wake up and think... “did I die?” “This all feels unreal” “something is wrong” “this life doesn’t feel real”
Wow i wouldn't have the courage to make a video and tell my experience to the world but you did and thank you, it's amazing, you're helping so many people right now. I have derealization due to anxiety, sometimes is tough but now, after a year and a half, i feel better i know it will disappear sooner or later, in the meantime i study, work, have my life and my goals and this is not gonna stop me
I didn't know this was a real thing but also experienced this while I had an eating disorder and other issues. Thanks for making this video; I thought I was just crazy! It's nice to know someone else went through the same experience.
In the Hippie days we called this being lost in space. The recommendation was to leave at least two weeks between LSD trips. After the extraordinary experience of a trip, time is needed to readjust to everyday being. Some of my friends enjoyed the LSD experience so much that they wanted to stay high all the time and so they took LSD every couple of days. Eventually they became lost in space. That is, they experienced depersonalisation and derealisation. No longer able to relate to themselves, their friends and their surroundings they sought sanctuary with the Divine Light Mission headed by the Guru Maharaj Ji , one of the many gurus operating in the west at that time. They devoted their lives to their 'saviour' and became almost completely different people to the ones that I had previously known. They appeared to be happy, but their whole existence revolved around dedication to the guru who ripped them off financially and took over their beings. Even without people having taken drugs, I feel that many people who join cults do so as a sanctuary due to derealisation and depersonalisation.
are you smiling in this video because it was so horrible for you? to like cover up or something? because when i talk about it, i'm smiling too but my heart is crying
kisss688 I've notice that about me too, it could be a subconscious coping thing I do so that I don't have to reconnect with the actual feelings I experienced or relive it.
i've always been skeptical that i've had this disorder, but hearing you talk about it i was just agreeing with everything you said, its hard for me to explain it to people, but I was recently finally diagnosed with it and so many things are starting to make sense
I've experienced this 24/7 for eight years. It really is comforting to know there are others that have the same experiences that I have. Not that these experiences a good thing, but thank you for sharing!
Then you're already massively on the road to recovery, Paige. It lifts up over time, even if you've had it 24/7 for years. I'm in the process of letting go and accepting. I really recommend vitamin B-12 complex and magnesium. They've really helped with my mood and concentration and lessened the fatigue.
I went from severe depression and taking on everybody's problems and pain. Then last year I developed pretty severe depersonalisation. Wasn't capable of connecting with anyone or anything, incapable of emotion towards others and I'd have panic attacks every time I looked in the mirror because I couldn't connect with my reflection. I was convinced I didn't look like what everybody told me I did. And finally was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and chronic post traumatic stress. Treatment is hard, nights are harder. But you learn to cope. And you learn distress coping mechanisms (healthy mechanisms). Can't say it's in the past, but I don't feel stuck in a bubble anymore.
Rebeckah Stevens I can relate to you so much, I am glad you less in the bubble you were in. I have PTSD, I am supposed to seek treatment for it but I always quit too early because I rather block some thing things out, has it been helping you?
I cant explain how much this video is helping me. I am going to share it with my family and friends that know I have this as I think it will help them understand why I am the way I am. Its obviously extemely hard to socialize and I am aware I am acting different but I think if they watched this they might understand a bit better and not treat me like I am crazy. I have had Drdp on and off for 1 and a half years. The first time it lasted 6 weeks them went completely for about 7 months. I am in the thrawls of it now 24/7 and have been for nearly 8 months. Of course some days are better than others, sleep really affects the severity of it. I often sleep only 5-6 hours a night but if I get a solid uninterupted 8 hours I feel a lot better. Also drinking water helps too. I’m currently taking sertraline and am awaiting my first counceling appointment in a weeks time. I hope that helps too. This video really helps me not feel so alone and validates everything I’ve been going through. I also Identify with the bad eye sight and getting them tested with a result of excellent eye sight. Which was a relief. I hope one day it will go for good and I fully intend to make a full recovery. Positive thoughts and never give up hope guys. We’re all here for eachother x
Hey Forest Widow! I'm glad this video helped a bit. I hope your family/friends will begin to understand you a little bit better, though some people won't fully understand unless they have had something similar. Sleep is so important. I used to only get 5 hours each night but we could be those people that actually needs 8+. Hope the counsellor will be understanding and helpful for you :) Take good care x
I've been dealing with an anxiety disorder for a year now and I've only experienced derealisation for 8 months. It's probably my worst symptom and the hardest to tolerate, as it pretty much screws up your entire perception of reality. I relate to the vision thing, it's like a veil or like the saturation of everything decreased. I always feel like I'm in a dream, especially in busy places or when I'm stressed. The thing that's the worst for me (and you're the first person to ever mention this, so thank you) is the constant philosophical thoughts. It's crazy! It's like I'm not even thinking them and it's my brain just constantly analysing the unanswerable - it's like I'm stuck in this existential crisis and my brain just sort of tells me that nothing we do on this planet matters because we're gonna die and leave it anyway. I hate thinking like that, because I know it's not me and I know that I don't care about that stuff. Anyway it has improved over the past several months, i just need to keep connecting to the outside world and what is now. Thanks for this video, it really validates what I'm going through. I feel confident that this will go away for me once my life changes (I plan on travelling and moving cities next year), just sometimes the present can suck so much. I hate this chapter of my life haha.
I was diagnosed with Lupus in the summer after having severe pain and fatigue for six years. Recently I’ve been rediagnosed to mixed connective tissue disease which is very similar to lupus. It is so hard to cope with, I also experience with derealization very very often and it’s a horrid feeling. Having a chronic illness also makes recovering from an eating disorder very difficult. I hope your health is okay and that your lupus goes into remission.
Oh Kelly, that's so hard! I feel your pain :( I actually think out of everything that happened in life, it was the hardest...not sure why, I think it's because fatigue and pain just impacts a massive part of who you are and how you live life. I am actually in remission now, kind of feels like a miracle, I never thought I would feel like this again. I hope your MCTD with go into remission to and for a long time too!!
good stuff. Even though many people need much more help than this, not to consider that more education and knowledge (including the most scientific one and knowing all the symptoms) doesn't lead to more results and progress. So many people accept it, distract themselves, etc. but have little to no results and their anxiety and dpdr was not caused by smoking, weed, drugs, substances, etc. In those case, more help is required. But this info a good start.
you are really cute its adorable' im glad people are speaking out about this because I thought I was alone for the longest time and I had no idea what it was' but thankfully it hasn't happened to me for a while now but I gotta avoid big places with lots of people and weed.
I just wanted to thank you for making this video. I've had this for 4 years now, constantly but managed. However, I'm having a really bad with it at the mo and it's nice to know I'm not insane xx
Thank you for this. I've been dealing with chronic DR for 4 years and 2 months now; like some others have said, it's now essentially a part of me. I have to push it away and do my best to live a normal life. At first it was incredibly strong and I couldn't leave my house. Horrible anxiety accompanied it, however it was also brought on by intense anxiety and depression about my physical health (similar to you). I was having very scary physical symptoms where I felt like I was dying, began having panic attack like episodes which I had never had before and then suddenly I was stuck in existential thought/dream mode. But it's not a thinking issue - and that's where it gets confusing. You can't just turn it off and it's terrifying. I also experienced episodes of DP - looking in the mirror and not even being able to recognize myself. Like it wasn't my life. Chronic illness is trauma. I'm sorry you had to experience that, too. Unfortunately I'm just now getting some true diagnoses..
I'm so glad things have gotten better for you. I really hope things get better for me, it's been pretty bad recently and it's like the worst feeling in the world :(
I pray all you younger [OR ANY AGE] people can accept these problems are real...if you feel anything is different, odd or scary, or intrusive, depressing or making you feel a panicky feeling...because today in 2017 so much is now medically known and so much progress has been made in the studies of mental illness. There are good treatments now and new ways to cope. You are not alone! NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.
Worse feeling in the world iv been dealing with it for years but just barely a year ago I found out what derealization and depersonalization I feel hopeless but it's a fight and we can all over come this stay strong never give up!!!
She put everything I feel into words. I'm amazed and happy to find someone who feels what I feel. No one understand when I say how I feel. Just think i'm seeking attention.
Thank you so much I was only diagnosed with dpdr a couple of months ago I thought I was going crazy it makes me so happy knowing I’m not the only one andthere are otheres out there that go through the same thing and people that understand and don’t think you sound crazy it’s really hard not having anyone around that knows how you are feeling it’s like you’ve read a whole book on someone and know every detail and memory about their life but they’re not youres and my family and friends don’t feel mine and my view on life in general has just devalued like nothing can make me feel purely happy
I'm happy to finally have found someone mention their eyesight being affected by derealization because I really struggle to see things with the same clarity that I once did. I also thought it was because of bad eyesight and I've upped my prescription at the opticians and the issues still persists. I have no idea how to get out of this horrible state of always feeling like I'm brain dead :(
+Dylan Smith The bad vision part is what never goes away for me. I seriously am started to think is it related or not because it's like the last symptom I can't get rid of at all. 3 mri's all good too, no doctor I spoke to has heard of anything similar. Your message makes me feel less alone, thank you. I feel you.
I've been experiencing this for 8-9 months now, its so terrifying.. but I'm recovering by just moving on, occupying my self with everything around me, I felt so disconnected from everything so I forced myself and decided to connect my self to everything around me, now I'm 90% recovered ❤ you can do it, your not alone. It happens to the best of us.
thank you so much for sharing this. I m experiencing derealization by several days wave since some monthes. It comes with random stress factors and make me have existential thought like the cycle life and death is useless.... which make the syptoms worse... meditation helps a lot, drawing, laughing , interest in buddism philosophy (sorry to sound like a silly zen guru. it s just my tips). and avoid alcool and coffee :) all my though to people experiencing this: you re not alone, remember it's possible to come back to live, it worth it. be strong.
i had derealization for a short time when i had depression. My eyes were like just behind my back, so I could see my nape of the neck and right shoulder while i was walking. I got really scared that time and could not do anything, just keep walking. 4 weeks of ssri pills worked well for me. I cannot even imagine how people can live in that state of mind for a long period of time.
Thank you for the video. I have a chronic depression that comes with fear/panic and depersonalisation. It was caused by some "childhood conflicts". I am 22 and in therapy now, I believe there will be a life without all these symptoms for me. I always wanted to find out what this dreamy feeling is, until my therapist told me that this is depersonalisation. I never lived without it, I just always hoped to "wake up".
Steven Giger I know what you mean by "wake up", I would close my eyes tight and hoped when I opened them life would be normal again - if only! Yes, I totally believe you will have life without all these symptoms, atleast less intense/noticeable ;)
I asked my dad about this when I was maybe 7 years old. I asked if he ever felt like if he was in a dream and I remember him saying yes and that's the only time I asked anyone about the feeling I had. I've been like this for so long it's not that I am getting used to it because some days out of no where I can really feel like it's an out of body experience and it will cause a panic attack. I feel like this almost everyday some days better than others. Please don't be afraid of how you feel. Some how learn to accept this may be your type of normal and it may seem weird or scary but it's a part of you/your soul. Just go about it the best way you can and remember you're not alone.
OMG I am so sorry for people who go through this for years.. I can't believe this. I have it just sometimes for some seconds or 1-2 minutes and it's so weird that it drives ne crazy
Hang in there, I been dealing with this since 2010 after I nearly died of workout supplements. Anxiety, Depression, and Derealization soon kicked in after I was battling for my life, next day I was all of a sudden in a strange world and like a dream. After battling with this for nearly five years, I can honestly say its just anxiety that's all. If you forget about the derealization anxiety and depression and get your mind off of it, then you are absolutely normal like you were before no difference what so ever. But then during the day you bring it back on yourself like "Oh crap remember you have derealization" then it hits you like two tons of bricks. I think just because this was more scarier than the time I nearly died, its so hard to forget this that we torture ourselves over this. Sometimes I wish they can just wipe out my memory all over again like do a lobotomy that way I never knew what this is, I used to think how in the hell did I go through 24 years without ever thinking about this day in and day out, knowing how scary it is I always tell myself well atleast I lived over 20 years totally free anxiety and dr.
the european Hey, thanks for comment, sorry that you went through such a long time with it too. I find that not thinking about it helps me too but personally I am triggered by things non-anxiety related. When I avoid meds/ substances/caffeine/allergies or sleep enough then I do not have the feeling (or notice it). Your right though, for a lot of people it anxiety related. Keep sharing to others, gives them hope ;)
the european I agree.. I have returned to a normal state many times for short periods, and am always surprised by it.. And then actually think, hey i dont have DP anymore.. And then the obsessive thought process returns.. Shit! lol
I don't think I will ever get back to normal and I accept that, its very rewarding like you say A Drews to get short periods or days not thinking about it and feeling like your old self. In the end we torture ourseleves, if we never thought about it we would be our old selves. Maybe one day this thought won't be that much important to me and I will dismiss it like nothing, but I doubt it.
I've had this for two months, due to a panic attack after trying marijuana. I developed an anxiety/panic disorder, which lead to this derealization and intrusive thinking. Btw your gorgeous, and thanks for the vid!
Thank you for your very informative and truthful video. So sorry that you have this problem and good to see you are coping with it. I have it due to very stressful situations as a child but it was something I have learnt to live with together with the accompanying mild depression. I agree that it is not an illness that can be talked about or thought about too much as it will only make it worse.
I suffered from both for 4 years. Nothing can describe the awful feelings of this disorder. Now, I'm totally recoverd from it but only thinking about those timese I suffered from it makes me really start to cry. Believe me, I had to go through a lot in my life but this one is the worst ever. I was hit by a car, too, but I rather get hit another time than suffering from dissociation only one single day. (sorry for my poor English)
I also have Depersonalisation but it so different from one another, yes there are things that relate. I felt like I am not in my own body, that I don't belong to myself. I felt like my hands were not mine, that my voice was like an echo. My vision was messed up too. I would see a dead fly in a lamp but it was flying! Everything that I would look at would move in a wavy kind of way. There is no real way of explaing this part of how I can see things, when I have a lot of anxiety. But I would have to say people who suffer from this should try their best not to pay attention to what is happening in their own mind. I can't look at a picture or statute, and many others things for a long time, because everything would get distorted. Pictures were more alive then real people. I saw what was not real as real, and real as not real. Hope that made sense? I could add so much more, but it would be a book to write about all that I experienced, and still do but not to the magnitude a few years back. I think that I will always have it, I just have to not pay attention to it, because that will make everything even worse. God Bless!
I've been suffering from this for 17 years. It feels like I control this fleshy shell from a screen behing my eyes. Its difficult to enjoy experiences like sunsets while climbing a mountain or scuba diving as it doesnt feel real. I ended up telling myself theres no point in experiencing things as i wouldn't FEEL the moment so whats the point. gradually I became numb to all feelings...I dated a girl for 4 years and when we broke up I honestly felt NOTHING. I dont get nervous in any situation as I feel a sense of protection as Im not fully engaged in this "reality". I've realised the best way to tackle it is to accept it, the more you remind yourself of it the longer the healing process takes. You have to remember this is your brain protecting you which is why it pulls you away from reality. I constantly say to myself "I know I have a condition, but what I see IS a reality, I just need my brain to switch off protection mode". Ive had it for 17 years and it hasnt killed me so in fact its harmless.... Its justthe visual thing sucks balls.
I've been experiencing this for 5 months now. 2 months ago I was diagnosed with dysthymia, an anxiety and panic disorder. I already knew that I had dysthymia, so that was nothing new. It started in a time when I had too much stress and my sleeping pattern was really bad because of it. My sensories are so highly function that sometimes even just "looking" at things is too much. When i'm speaking to people and focus on their face my vision gets ever weirder. It also feels like when they're talking to me and i'm talking back, that it's not my own voice I hear when I'm speaking. It's just oddly weird in every way i'm experiencing this derealization, and it really makes me lose my mind... i was glad I found out I'm not the only one suffering from it, because i just felt i was alone in this and that thought made me really hopeless.. but i have faith it's going to be alright. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day! And to everyone who's experiencing it, being anxious of life.. you're not alone xx
kisss688 Sorry to hear that, I guess you have tested most of the potential causes to eliminate what might be going? I hope you get out of this soon, it can and does get better
this is Exactly how i am, ive been hospitilized, depressed, diagnosed with severe anxiety, and feel like im going crazy, sometimes my vision goes blurry or shaky or like it moves up and down it weird ik but im afraid to tell my psychologist abt it bc i think it might be bc i smoke weed sometimes and i dont want anyone to know , im scared
One of the hardest things for me is the feeling that nobody else gets it. Like my friends and co workers not that I try to explain it to them. Anxiety ocd depression and this is so messy and so hard to explain its tricky to cope with. I find when I don't try so hard things start to make sense and become easier but that's hard to do. Constantly over thinking
They say only in 1-2% of the population gets these disorders on a major level like I experience, which affects my daily life massively, and also makes my social anxiety go through the roof! I've just got myself to the point where I don't wanna have dealings with nobody even my closest family and I think to myself ill just be better off alone.. I just wanna get my life back on track before things escalate from worse to even worser!
Thank you for sharing! Not sure if you are currently seeing a counsellor or therapist but it could be beneficial for you. I have a tendency to hide away from friends and family and social setting, I regret those years and it also makes social anxiety insanely more harder to overcome. Being alone is safer but finding a couple of people you feel comfortable with can be helpful. And I am pretty sure they would gain a lot of from your company! Finding others with social anxiety who what to overcome it, can be helpful because at least you know how each other feels. It's good you are aware that things could get much worse of you don't attempt some small steps to help yourself. You got this! Take good care
No problem! Thank you for replying :) I also liked your video and subscribed! You seem to know everything about this nasty disorder! And I am definitely considering counselling or therapy.. I always believed counselling or therapy was for crazy people or something lol! But obviously I know now it can be for various things.. Thank you also for the good advice! I'll be sure to definitely follow them up! And you take good care too.
My depersonalization was TERRIFYING, I didn't even want to get out of bed I thought I was going crazy. Like you said, I felt like everything wasn't real and my vision was 2D. And to top it all off, I was going through an existential crisis and having panic attacks. I would think, 'why am I me and not someone else?' and have suicidal thoughts even though I was never suicidal before that moment. I'd always think, 'What's the point of living if I'm always going to feel this way?'. Until a month or two ago it started getting better, I still feel it but it's not as bad anymore. I can go through my day without panicking, but will sometimes feel strange. At times it hits me for a couple seconds which is so scary to me, then goes away. I never thought other people would feel this way. Is it terrifying for you guys too, when it happens? I want to know if it's normal to feel scared and your heart to start palpitating.
brianna villanueva Wow, I could relate to so much of what you said. Obviously and thankfully I never completed suicide attempts. I am glad you did not too :) It is normal to feel scared because it is a crazy "unnatural" and scary experience, so yes! Terrified and palpitations could also be related to anxiety/panic, for many people DP/DR is anxiety related. I now try to remember it is completely harmless and it will ease to a more bearable state. It took me along time to get this way but I can handle it better now when it intensifies and know what to do.
brianna villanueva Again.. existential thoughts and the curious nature and obsessive thought patterns are why we are here.. I am sure of it. Yes drugs for some were the stimulus, but the thoughts are what started it and kept us here.,
you are Gorgeous..... i too have this.. bad.. paxil messed me up.. was on that for 26 years... i got off it in 2018. I have had extreme bad anxiety ever since I got off Paxil I've been to the ER Hospital many many times
*(My Story)* So it was around 1:00am and I wasn't able to go to sleep. I was irritated that I couldnt sleep because I wanted to wake up early. So I did some deep breathing exercises, perhaps that would help me sleep. I felt really strange at this point. I wasn't sure what was happening, I felt alien. I almost started to breath in panic but I quickly said to myself, calm down and continue your breathing exercises. I accepted what ever was going on in my mind. So I concentrated on my stomach going in and out, deep breathing. After I was done, I was still feeling odd, I continued to allow this experience. _My mind was gone, I didn't have much of a perception of time, so what was the need to go to sleep?_ I felt as though there was no need to achieve anything, no need to impress anyone. Having no real perception of time, I came to the obvious realization I have never thought of before. _'Time isn't real'. I felt it as reality instead on an idea._ Saying that, I felt an increase in my bodily senses. So I walked around. It was amazing, as if everything was new again. My feet on the floor, the look of my bedroom, even opening the door and walking through it. So immediately decided (with no real decision) that I was going to have a shower and feel this out. I did just that. In the shower, I was still in the swing of this odd state of mind. The best way I can describe it is... I wasn't me/Ethan with his story, it all left with the loss of 'time', time being past, present, future. You could say I was completely in the present. I think I felt like that because my bodily senses increased? As if my mind slowed down and my body was emitting energy? Maybe thats what its like to be an animal? To be completely aware of your surrounding at such a level that your not distracted by you'r thoughts. Like when your really quite and you can hear every noise in you'r house. Except I seemed to be pushed into this state of mind somehow? I am normally full of anxiety. This was freeing. I would love to go back to it. Its strange though, other people on the subject of depersonalization tend to panic. If anyone els has this depersonalization occurring. Try accepting as if you weren't afraid to die, I would like to know if that changes the experience at all. Im curious.
+E.T. That's not necessarily how depersonalization works. You may have achieved a positive state that has similar effects but depersonalization is associated with increased anxiety, panic, and it's much more difficult to be "present" or even identify what the "present" is.
Friend found this video for me, I’ve been experiencing derealization like something from some time. I am glad that (reading the comments and watching this vid) shows me that I am not alone and not insane. This is one of the only things I see when I have an episode that I believe is real like...? Ugh whatever, I’m gonna talk to my mom about it soon and ask to get a diaganose something.
realising that the true 'you' is not this mortal pattern shaped through evolution (your body) is certainly scary, i find that mindfulness meditation, exercise, good diet and good sleep help a lot! also, philosophy/alan watts guided me to accepting it and experience satori through it.
I have DR and I got it on holiday in Greece and it was so beautiful there and I had never experienced an abroad holiday properly like I did. I kept telling myself how can this be real such a wonderful place and I would swim all day and have lovely dinners with my family but then one night it was a big heatwave and I got dizzy and told my mum she said to go lye down and what made it worse is that I was in the pool at the time. I slipped over as I was walking in my room as I was wet and the floor was slippery, I banged my head and just layed down. I was fine after a while then the next day it happened again then the next day and so on. It happened twice a day. When I got home from holiday I was fine and so relieved. Then a couple days after I went far away in the country and it was hot, as I was walking with my mum and dad I was speaking and some how I just managed to think of what happened on holiday (DR).. As I was speaking I couldn't remember what I was even talking about and I
stopped talking. I was saying in my head not this again and I found out that what triggered it was the heat, now it happens sometimes but not as often. I try not to think about it and it goes but comes back. It's still there in my mind but I have to think about it to make it come. Or if I have lots of pressure on me it happens. But now I'm 12 and I have told nobody I am too scared. My mum and dad will get worried if I tell them and they will take me to hospital and I have a fear of hospitals as I'm always due for some kind of injection. I just need a friend who is experiencing what I have and still do. :(
+_ JodieEdn Don't worry no injection should come near you with DR/DP if you did go to the DR's they would just listen to you. Though can't say they would understand, Psychologist understand it though...well, in some way. Take care and thank you for sharing!
i am 19 and i have been experiencing derealisation depersonalisation since middle school i think, or maybe even before that, i am not exactly sure. few weeks ago i finally had the courage to go see a psychiatrist but as soon as i walked in there i started having a really strong episode of anxiety and dp, im not sure he noticed that. he had a poker face so im not even sure he took my words seriously. i couldnt describe what i have been experiencing for all these years. he told me to take a mmpi test and eeg scan, i took the test but not the eeg scan. i feel like nothing can cure my disorder. like i am born with it and going to die with it, hurting people around me, hurting myself, people not understanding how bad my situation is and others making fun of me, because i seem weird and stuff. anyway, im going to end my too long yet pointless comment here.
No way was your comment pointless, it's saddening to here what you are going through. Don't be worry about being anxious in therapy, any psychiatrist/therapist I saw I suddenly turned into some quivering feeble little child and major dp/dr lol! I think they are used to it if they have been a pscyhiatrist for long. I hope you get good help and therapy. It seems to help people cope with it anyway or get to a place where dp/dr doesn't hinder their lives and hey, some people even get completely people better again. Don't give up and take care Duygu.
About a year ago, me and my friends went out for a friends birthday. They all decided to smoke before going out and I wasn't planning on smoking because I get hella anxiety when I'm high. Once they were smoking, I decided to take a couple hits. Once it hit me, I got a huge panic attack. I couldn't control myself and I was scared, I was so close to crying. The next day, I regretted smoking. During class, I felt as if I was high. I started feeling really weird and i thought my high was still there. But the feeling never went away.. I began feeling it for the rest of the week and I decided to google what I was feeling. Then I realized there was a word for what I was feeling and I broke down crying because I thought I was going insane. As time went by, I felt better. I started feeling normal again. Not until this Sunday.. it hit me once again and I still don't know how to cope with it. It's a horrible feeling and I pray to god to take this feeling away.
it's like watching the movie of your life and not remembering having acted in the role.
it's like only existing in the space between your eyes and your brain. Like your body is a giant robot or a puppet.
+jeremalaria fucking nailed it
+jeremalaria you just did what no person I've yet met has ever done. you spot on described depersonalization. if i had a cookie i would give it to you
+Ricky Evans i kindly accept your virtual cookies. thanks.
+jeremalaria omg yes. knowing others experience this makes me feel less like im losing it!
+jeremalaria YES! best description, i remember when i had it whilst increbly high, being disturbed by the fact that yes the thing i did a month was actually ME, its like, whaaaa? and i truly understood the meaning of only the present moment being real while in this state, I could clearly see how we were being and we only lived in the exact moment, and were passing through constantly, and the fact that the past is only memories, fluters, glisters of dust tha can be blown away, that can never be re lived, non existant.
This disorder pushes me over the edge sometimes.
I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with this.
+Stefan Alexander Lay would neurofeedback work for you?
Me too 😞
I agree I already have depression and ocd on the sidelines now this I just want to kill myself so much.
+Stefan Alexander Lay You'll be okay in the end!
Same here I feel you buddy
I had depersonalisation for about a week, which was then followed by three weeks of panic attacks. This is how to get rid of DP and panic attacks:
1. Understand that what you're feeling is JUST ANXIETY. You ARE NOT dying. You ARE NOT going insane. This is the most important step. You need to believe this because it's the truth. What you're feeling is terrifying but it's just your body trying to protect you.
2. When you get feelings of DP, do not try and fight it. Just regard it as a nuisance that will eventually go away. If you fight it you will keep fearing it. The more fear you feel, the more your body produces adrenaline, which is what is fuelling your state of DP. This works for panic attacks as well.
3. Do not google symptoms of DP or videos like this. It's very counterproductive. Just read this comment and then decide that this is the only information you need from now on. The more you search, the more obsessed you will get about your situation, which makes you more afraid etc..
4. Do not self medicate. Do not do alcohol and drugs. I would suggest that you don't take any antidepressants for it. You'll just be masking the problem instead of fixing it.
5. Live life as normally as you would. Focus on what you're doing. Socialise, go for walks and eat healthy. Also take vitamin supplements.
6. Practice positive thinking. When you feel that your mind is focusing too much on negative things, make an effort to think of good things. Like feeling grateful for the things in your life.
7. If you think you have personal issues or traumas that you need to sort through, find yourself a therapist and talk about them.
If you follow these steps, you will slowly start getting better. It's been almost two months since my ordeal started. On most days I feel myself again. There are days when I feel like I'm relapsing into DP and I also feel the beginnings of panic attacks. However I now have the information to stop my brain into going in full panic mode and the feelings pass. I understand that it's just my body still producing an excess of adrenaline. Eventually it will realise that there's no real danger and everything will be back to normal. Also, now that I know what I know, I understand that I won't ever get DP and panic attacks like I did two months ago, because now I know how to deal with these things. Good luck 😉
Great advice.
Jesmond Mifsud I'm really thankful for what you said, the past half year has been the worst for me. I did all those things almost automaticaly and I do feel a lot better. I feel like the bond between my soul(?), my body and the real world does exist again and I'm not part of a simulation anymore. DP is curable.
u had one week of dp? ive had it constantly for 6 years and counting, luck u
@@juicebox2780 5 years here but just found out about DP DR i tried many things to try n fix it. I have symptoms of ptsd anxiety panic and lost alot because of this illness. I just started testosterone treatment and i have felt a slight improvement in how i feel. Good luck
Umm, I don't think it's a smart idea for you to give other people like me who dealt with DP for over 6YEARS when you yourself only had it for 1WEEK, like no, I myself still experience it, the best thing to do is to find a comfort zone or something comforting, and its less intense when you go somewhere you are familiar with like your home, parks, even your work where you are familiar with things and you know you are safe.
SOMETIMES when i look at my self in the mirror for about a minute or two staring at myself.. i feel like i dont know who i am and feel very weird and run down stairs and start talking to someone to change my mind:/
This is exactly what happens to me sometimes as well, your not alone.
Ciera Carris damn.. the best way to avoid this is to be busy in some work.. like play games internet etc!
distractions do help sometimes!
That happens to almost everybody when we stare in the mirror and let our imagination go.
I think my self perception changes every day. Try working out, it takes some effort seperating the mental velcrow but in the end you know what you're capable of and who you are. Gives you more control over the seemingly uncontrollable
Derealization happens to me a LOT. But mostly, I only notice it when it is over, being like "Wow I suddenly feel so awake and alive now! What have I been doing those past few weeks/months? I have no idea".
I always have to look it up in my calendar if someone asks me what I've been up to over the weekend or holidays - I can remember if I see an event tracked in there, I just completely lose track of time. Days feel like weeks and weeks feel like days. And I have trouble to remember events in the correct order, like I never know whether A happened before or after B if they are not directly linked.
And I notice it when my boyfriend complains about me being so forgetful and spaced again. He thinks I do this on purpose :/ I mean I know that I kinda "use" it to snap out of reality, but no way I could induce this state of mind on purpose. Or make it go away, for that matter. It just does what it wants to do. And as I think there is a reason behind it, I'm okay with that most of times.
I also can only go by calender, if I don't look at it (which I often forget) I will not remember what to do. I could go on holiday and if someone asked me two days later what I have been upto, I most likely don't remember....until after the convo "oh yes I was away". I thought this only happens to old people!
My partner also thought I did this on purpose, until he realised I myself get super frustrated at my lack of awareness or memory. I wasn't always like this!
I really want to thank you, you have no clue how hard describing my feeling has been the past time. I dont know if I have derealization but I think I do. I really want to thank you for helping to explain my feeling to my friends
Knowing your not alone was important for me to find out as well. I didn't know it was a thing, which is very relieving by itself. I actually feel more grounded just listening to your story. There is an unconscious bonding and strong connection between people who suffer. We can use that to our advantage and snap out of it for the long term!
It's true, I honestly had no idea there were so many out there feeling how I felt. It's comforting to not feel so lonely and isolated with our feelings/experiences.
Yes, thanks for sharing everything. The worst part about DR is it feeds anxiety (more specifically social anxiety). Most people I talk to don't even realize I have any of these issues. It turns into a struggle acting like you are fine and holding yourself together all the time while trying to let it go. I found that meditation helps a ton; seems to ground thoughts & works on thought patterns. A big problem for me is going to work and coding most of the day... it almost reverses everything gained, as you are forced to think abstractly in your head. lol
Siebe van den Elzen trust me you should go see a therapist, depersonalization can strike mighty hard especially in my case since I had OCD I thought everything was programmed but in the bottom of my heart Ik this was all too real also seeing my parents and relatives crying when I was having my panic attacks or just saying the stupidest shit made me realize i had to understand that this is not a dream and this is in fact reality. Trust me man it's hard but you got to be logical with yourself. Touch things, taste food go run feel the wind man, feel your heart pumping trust me it gets better and time heals everything. It truly does, also once you start doing this and actually being logical with yourself you start realizing how stupid you sounded and slowly you will realize this is reality.
Siebe van den Elzen Mindfulness Meditation is your best bet. Seriously don't dismiss it, it WILL help. Also, look into L-Tryptophan or 5 HTP and decide if it's right for you. Oh and definitely take Hidden Leaves advice and get outside. When it rains out go outside and embrace it.
Hi Siebe. I used to think like you. which is horrible. the best moment of my days we re the morning, just when I woke up. this moment the dream is just over and you just feel the reality so strongly. then it flew away some hours later... remembering this moment helped me. meditation is important too. find some help with a therapist if it stays, it s a common symptom.
About a year ago I had my first depersonalization experience. It was the scariest thing I have ever gone through. I thought I had lost my mind, I thought I was crazy, I thought I was going to have to be locked up in a mental institution because I was absolutely nuts.
I'm going to describe my experience to you, Please don't read any further if this is a trigger for you!!**
Everything in my life was in chaos. My dad was dying in the hospital and I was very stressed out. Like the most stressed and depressed I had ever been. Despite my depression I went about life day to day. But one morning when I woke up, I felt strange. I felt like I was still in the dream. I saw my hands and I didn't understand who was moving them. and I was like what?! Wtf? Because I knew it was me moving them, they were attached to the arms that were connected to my body. But it didn't look like this was my body, in fact it felt like my body was a shell and I was just seeing through binoculars or goggles...almost like watching a movie. I immediately stood up and I just stood there for who knows how long. I was trying to figure out, how could I have existed this whole time...how did I get to this point in my life, am I even real? Is anything real? I walked into the bathroom and I looked in the mirror and I couldn't see my reflection, I literally was just staring at a stranger. I didn't know who that was, I knew it should have been my face looking back at me because thats how mirrors work, but I didn't recognize myself. I was very scared. I kept touching the mirror and seeing my hand get closer to it but it didn't feel like it was mine.
I knew I had to talk to someone. My husband was gone and he had dropped our daughter off at school. So there was no one home. I couldn't figure out how to talk to someone. I eventually found the phone and knew I could call my husband but I couldn't bring my focus to the phone to dial it. I kept going back to the mirror and staring at my hands. I eventually called my husband and told him I didn't feel like myself and I felt like everything was fake and a dream. He said I was just feeling anxiety because of my dad and that I would be ok.
This went on for months. It was the most terrifying thing ever. I began to 100% believe that nothing was real. That everything was a dream, I felt like I had awoken from the matrix. I became obsessed with it, I started googling stuff, but I didn't know what it was called or what to look for, so I would google things like "are we all just dreaming" and "I feel like I'm trapped inside of my body." Eventually it paid off because I ended up on a Depersonalization Disorder website (DPD) and I felt this HUGE overwhelming feeling of relief. I wasn't alone. Everything I read, I understood. There were other people with this, I wasn't crazy and hopefully it would go away. I did some more research and read more about peoples experiences and how they overcame it. And slowly things started coming back into focus and I don't remember when but I was myself again. I felt human, I felt like my hands were mine and I knew the girl in the mirror was me.
Please you guys, please know that YOU ARE REAL! THOSE ARE YOUR HANDS, ITS YOU IN THE MIRROR! ITS YOUR PICTURE. YOU ARE CONTROLLING YOUR BODY. THIS WILL PASS, IT'S NOT FOREVER!
pls tell me how to get out of this situation.. im so helpless :(
+joanna manawari there is no easy way out. You have to cope with it and remind your self it's just an effect from anxiety it's completely harmless
+Alec Miller thanks a lot.
+Alec Miller thanks a lot.
Thank you for this post
I had this around two years ago
And now it's back
It came back like 4 days ago
I'm better each day but still I have that question "is this all real ? How can I know if it's real ? " I hope it'll be gone soon... I'm really getting crazy about it :(
Wow everything she described is how I’ve felt for the last 10 years. I didn’t even consider it being a recognized psychological condition. I saw a psychiatrist for my depression and anxiety and was too scared to tell him about the derealization I’ve been living with since my dad passed away when I was 16. I was so in my own head on this that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone because I thought they’d think I’m crazy. It’s amazing how people can connect on here and share their experiences, it’s really helped me not feel so much like an alien or something
Had those derealization moments many times when I was a kid/teenager, so weird. Just suddenly it started when people around. But last summer it happened again. I was very tired and driving a car 500km distance (lucky to be alive). It felt like a dream, numb and a lot of deja vu feelings on the way. The scary thing for me was it continued to the next day. Horrible feeling that some people live derealization for months? :(
Anyone else have those deja vu feelings? Scary stuff.
Spot on, I've had DP (not DR) since I was 9 on and off with Deja vu and existential angst. Deja Vu happened when I'm extremely fatigued mostly. which is obviously terrifying. I'm 62 now. Did my MSc dissertation on DP, extremely complex. No official cure, but plenty of mitigating options. it seems that it gets better as time goes on.
I've suffered from this since i was ten. It's a really hard thing to go through and I hate it. But i'm really glad to find out i'm not the only one.
+LindseyStudios Yeah, def not the only on :) Bet there is more people who don't even know what its called or really believe they are alone.
Crazily Dani my mind is blank and I can’t connect with myself or anyone or my world
Stephanie Gray how are you now?
I'm in my 60's. My whole life has been a living hell because of this disorder. And yes, it does help to know you're not alone in your suffering. Thank you.
Cerulean Blue I'm so sorry to hear that. Just know you really aren't alone ❤️
Cerulean Blue I'm so sorry to hear that. Just know you really aren't alone ❤️
5 years! fuck that! 1 day with this is a hell on earth. 7 months in and just want to die.
MaGiiK WizDom 7 years in, 24/7
John DeBiasi Good job how do you manage?
MaGiiK WizDom you still never get used to it. of course sometimes you ignore it and pretend you're okay but then you always come back to to thinking of ways to get rid of it. so far I've found nothing.
John DeBiasi Very encourageing bro honestly all i have is God. So i pray and worship him holy. I know my God will take me away from this pain and he knows and understands it.
MaGiiK WizDom Put your faith in him and you'll never have to worry
Thank you for shedding light on this condition. In college I was battling a 10-year eating disorder and had newly diagnosed panic disorder. Unfortunately, the DR/DP that comes with panic disorder made me feel like I couldn't drive anymore, and 15 years later, I still don't drive because of it. My heart goes out to all who experience this, because it can be debilitating to different degrees. The key (part anyway) is to keep your mind grounded and to be aware of your surroundings and "get outta your head" when you find your thoughts taking you too far from the present.
I once went through something fairly traumatic for a while when I was 17, and I remember going to school and I always thought it was just shock...and maybe it was. It felt like time was weird, like I was in slow motion or something. I couldn't hear anything, and my memory is always foggy surrounding all of those moments. I had that happen when I was 8, after my grandmother died...when it happens, I remember a few moments while I'm in the trance, then I don't remember anything at all. When I graduated high school, the same school year as the traumatic period, it almost happened again, but stopped when my name was called. Idk if it ever happened again, but after hearing about this, I now wonder if it was the derealization and depersonalization rather than shock...I also had at least 1 dissociation experience during the begging of the traumatic period of my life, and it was like I left my body, was near the ceiling in the corner of the room, looking down over everything...Idk how long I was like that either...but now I am curious about what really was going on during those moments of shock and dissociation...?
Ive had this disorder the majority of my life, my earliest memory of experiencing derealization was when i was 7 (I am 21 now), It really does feel like a dream, and as if you are seeing through a fog, this is a great video to help people understand what we are going through.
+annabelle offor Wow, you should be making videos, I only had it since 2009. You're such a strong person. I am glad you get on with life and don't let it stop you from living as fully as you possibly can with it :)
i was at most 12 when i first experienced it, i was scared, and alone and couldnt explain it to anyone, you have no idea how gr8ful i am knowing im not alone on this one, for 5 years i've been looking it up, never had any luck but here i am knowing it has a name is enough to make me feel better
Your videos are so helpful, its so encouraging to hear other people deal with the same things and that things that can get better. Thank you!
Great topic..The difficult cure is in continuing life and " feeling the fear and doing it anyways" mindset. It might take you three attempts just to go to the store.. but by the fourth you'll definitely feel less dreamy by the 4th time.. relearn life.. takes 2 -3 years. But is NOT forever
i got mine year 2009 then i learn to forget about it year 2013-2015 then now im having episodes again.. i hate remembering about it cuz that time it is triggered xD
The place where I live in Asia Pakistan, almost nobody knew what I was going through and they had never heard of any such term as derealization. I suffered this for 2 long years and with the medication I came out of it but the results were much worse as I got into bipolar disorder then and now I have to be on medication for all my life.
Anways many prayers for you from myside. Thank You for educating people about it!
Out of all the derealization videos I've seen you are the one that connects to exactly how I feel with the whole vision change its like your mental vision is becoming disconnected like you're in a dream this would happen to me every single morning for 8 months straight and would last for nine hours at least and still comes off and on thank you for being so strong and you are not alone I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy seeing a lot of people that have this makes me feel better but worse the same time because I wouldn't want anyone to go through this I really thought I was going crazy or something was wrong with me or that I was going to die and the constant philosophically thinking gets very overwhelming to when you already are a very deep thinker, it just snaps on like a light switch out of nowhere sometimes anxiety triggers it and sometimes nothing triggers it but I am getting better slowly and now it only comes about once a week to once a month it sucks tho lol
I've had it for three years and just tonight I found out what it was called and seeing this, thank you for helping me feel less alone, it means so much
It really is horrible feeling like you are the only one with this. You are definitely not alone and it is helpful to have a name to it, so easier to research about it etc. I sincerely hope you will get through it soon, or at least get to a better place soon. Take good care
i know this i experienced this ,this DP comes when you feel hopeless when u feel you have no control and desperation starts to take place to the point of depersonalization it usualy comes from trauma and panic attacks because these panic attacks feel like out of your control you start stepping away from reality denying yourself , and the cause of DP is the result of anxieties depression you need to accept everything about you it's a state of denyal accept yourself as you are and go do things in your life you may feel like ""im faking it " but that feeling is the fake feeling don't try to focus on yourself don't try to check if you got rid of this state it is nothing you create it you can destroy it too
I had this for to years it was terrible the thoughts and emotions that go through your mind are indescribable . but I got through it and I'm totally free of it . my advice to anyone that suffers with this is clean up your diet and train . join a gym go running exercise at home I cannot tell you how helpful this was for me . and remember you were OK yesterday your OK now and you'll be OK tomorrow . this will go away but don't fight it let it go away . peace out brothers and sisters
i seriously only found out about this today, and from all ive seen it just ticks all the boxes. the whole faded feeling of reality and vision, dreams sometimes seeming more real than waking, definitely the whole constant philosophical thinking part. knowing im not the only one has brightened my mood tenfold so thanku :)
You are very welcome Jimmy.
I'm 13 and have this. I haven't told my family, I tried, but they did not understand and thought it was just where the weather was hot and I was going dizzy so I never brought the conversation up again. I feel this every day and have felt it for 2 years now. I can't deal no longer and whenever I try to explain to somebody about this, they do not understand whatsoever, I don't know what to do.
When I'm having an anxiety attack, I get this weird sense of everyone around me isn't real, or I'm numb. And I feel like I'm going full blown crazy. It's a terrifying feeling. :( I hate it so much.
This was amazing! Thank you so much! My anxiety led to derealization and my primary symptom was (as you listed) those deep philosophical thoughts! Knowing there are more of you out there like me is such a relief. For those of you that need support, this is the kind of stuff you need to tune into! Thank you crazilyloved!
Thomas Wingert Thank you, I really appreciate you sharing Thomas! Take good care!
I had DR/DP. Emphasis on HAD for roughly a year and a half. Let me just tell you it is in fact 100% CURABLE. Distraction... Distraction is KEY on how you're going to cure yourself. I remember I had DR for 7 months from developing depression, somehow I had forgotten about it once I had gotten better and was free from this disorder. One random day I remembered it and BAM, I was yet again struck with this terrible dreamlike state. This time, it was 10x worse and it hindered me from performing in school properly. Fast forward and I had transferred colleges and was CRAZY busy with a new school, friends, and clubs that took up my entire schedule. That was my cure. To completely envelope myself in new hobbies and an environment that didn't allow me to think of anything but to enjoy myself. So, those who are going through something like this, I challenge you to do just that and to commit yourself to it. You will and most definitely be able to cure yourself without a doubt. Please message me if you need more guidance
+Natasha Hey Natasha! I can relate, I made another video 1 year ago that talked about this. Thanks for sharing :)
Wow. I've just recently heard about derealisation and watching your video I felt shivers going down my spine. I never really could explain my eyesight so everybody would understand how it feels. The way you're describing it is just the way I experience it. Also all the other symptoms you're describing seem just too familiar to me. This is unbelievable. After more than 20 years that I've been struggling I feel I might have found what I'm suffering from. After many doctors telling me I'm perfectly healthy and psychologists sending me back to the doctors to check again. After 20 years of feeling completely alone and helpless with my symptoms I finally know that I'm not alone and can connect to other people. This is great, I feel so relieved, thank you for your video and all the best!
A fellow gym buddie was speaking to me at my place of work, we conversed for a few minutes... Although I felt super awkward, I felt too detached, I was in my dream state. Awful feeling especially when the person doesn't know what you're experiencing..
I stumbled on this video by accident and now I'm sat here crying because I thought I was crazy and now I can put a name and a description with what i've been feeling for two years. Thank you so much for making this!
Hi Abbey, I am glad it helped you put a name to what you are going through. And you are so not alone, a lot of people are along beside you. Take good care.
I can totally relate to this. Thank you for making this video! I just went through a tumultuous recovery from anorexia and depression. And for all there were vivid moments I felt i was living in a haze and i didn't know what was real and what was not anymore. I thought I was losing my mind! It was so scary. I also understand when you describe how you felt out of your body and seem to feel like you're floating and disconnected from yourself. For months and at times now, it's getting a lot better though thankfully :) I still feel like that and it's as if I feel so lost and 'i'm not me' and having this out of body experience. When I do, I take the time to reconnect to myself, it's good practice, sometimes we just need moments of disconnection to reconnect with ourselves :)
Thanks for sharing, I can totally relate to you. I am also learning to reconnect with myself, present surroundings and connecting with my senses (touch, taste, smell, see etc), really hard first months but way better now!
I think you're explaining these things really well. I have it too, had it for years. I think a good way to explain it is your view feels like it's through a tv screen, like ur eyes are at the back of your head lol. It's really strange
Thank you Martyna, it is a strange thing alright.
Nailed it, feels like life through a top down perspective, like you're standing behind your body.
When I was about halfway through 6th grade. I started felt unwanted at school and worthless in general. I started having suicidal thoughts and depression. Around this time I also started to have a weird phenomenon occur ever so often. when looking in the mirror, I would lose track of who I was. I would mouth the phrase "I'm me" hundreds of times in the mirror until I had a huge adrenaline rush as i came back to reality. I realize now that this was probably depersonalization. As my depression got worse, so did my eyesight, and I had to get glasses at age 12. I realized how much I hated the school I went to so I went to a different school for 8th grade. I slowly lost my depression and no longer had the depersonalization attacks. What's really weird though is that over Christmas break of 8th grade I lost my glasses and decided to go without them. I took a vision test without glasses or contacts and was prescribed with 20/20 vision. My vision had returned to normal . . .
Constant philosophical thinking stresses me the fuck out
I have been living with depersonalization/derealization since since grade 3 and I'm in grade 9 now. I feel like there's no cure and it effects my life so much.
I feel you so incredibly much ... It crawls and creeps.
Emily Auger how are you feeling now? I recently got derealization ((it's my 4th month living with derealization)). Sometimes it goes away but then it comes back. It's very hard to deal with this... But, yeah, everything will be fine
Pray to God
Live a retreat
Please keep your head up. Are you better now? I hope you are
I have no idea where this started, but I feel like I'm behind a glass wall, just observing the world, or playing an RPG. Almost every person I know or meet stays behind the said wall never traversing it, except a special few who I don't recognize as a part of the dream and am able to tell that they exist in one way or another. Sometimes I look around and what I see doesn't really get to me and my body doesn't seem like it belongs to me. I have trouble concentrating but have no memory problems. I feel absent most of the time, always lost in my imagination as it gives me comfort, I don't feel like I belong here and feel like I live inside my head. I can never wrap my mind around the fact that the world actually exists. It doesn't. It feels like a dream or an alternate universe, and the true me is somewhere else. The whole real world is somewhere else. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but if I do have this disorder I know it didn't appear out of the blue. I don't know, I just felt like sharing this.
Times when I go out drinking with friends trigger this for me. Only when I don’t have enough sleep. I’ll wake up and think... “did I die?” “This all feels unreal” “something is wrong” “this life doesn’t feel real”
Andrew Guevara I understand your pain
Wow i wouldn't have the courage to make a video and tell my experience to the world but you did and thank you, it's amazing, you're helping so many people right now. I have derealization due to anxiety, sometimes is tough but now, after a year and a half, i feel better i know it will disappear sooner or later, in the meantime i study, work, have my life and my goals and this is not gonna stop me
+freedom13245 Seriously, you have the best attitude. I hope your doing well.
I didn't know this was a real thing but also experienced this while I had an eating disorder and other issues. Thanks for making this video; I thought I was just crazy! It's nice to know someone else went through the same experience.
In the Hippie days we called this being lost in space. The recommendation was to leave at least two weeks between LSD trips. After the extraordinary experience of a trip, time is needed to readjust to everyday being. Some of my friends enjoyed the LSD experience so much that they wanted to stay high all the time and so they took LSD every couple of days. Eventually they became lost in space. That is, they experienced depersonalisation and derealisation. No longer able to relate to themselves, their friends and their surroundings they sought sanctuary with the Divine Light Mission headed by the Guru Maharaj Ji , one of the many gurus operating in the west at that time. They devoted their lives to their 'saviour' and became almost completely different people to the ones that I had previously known. They appeared to be happy, but their whole existence revolved around dedication to the guru who ripped them off financially and took over their beings. Even without people having taken drugs, I feel that many people who join cults do so as a sanctuary due to derealisation and depersonalisation.
are you smiling in this video because it was so horrible for you? to like cover up or something? because when i talk about it, i'm smiling too but my heart is crying
kisss688 I've notice that about me too, it could be a subconscious coping thing I do so that I don't have to reconnect with the actual feelings I experienced or relive it.
Crazily Dani yea, that's what i thought. Wish you all the best.
i've always been skeptical that i've had this disorder, but hearing you talk about it i was just agreeing with everything you said, its hard for me to explain it to people, but I was recently finally diagnosed with it and so many things are starting to make sense
I've experienced this 24/7 for eight years. It really is comforting to know there are others that have the same experiences that I have. Not that these experiences a good thing, but thank you for sharing!
Me too paige. I thought I was the only one
I have it 24/7 too. It's been four years.
+Paige Cano Thank you Paige. How are you doing now?
+Crazily Dani It's still 24/7, but it's really just something I've accepted will never go away. Thank you so much for replying!
Then you're already massively on the road to recovery, Paige. It lifts up over time, even if you've had it 24/7 for years. I'm in the process of letting go and accepting. I really recommend vitamin B-12 complex and magnesium. They've really helped with my mood and concentration and lessened the fatigue.
I went from severe depression and taking on everybody's problems and pain. Then last year I developed pretty severe depersonalisation. Wasn't capable of connecting with anyone or anything, incapable of emotion towards others and I'd have panic attacks every time I looked in the mirror because I couldn't connect with my reflection. I was convinced I didn't look like what everybody told me I did. And finally was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and chronic post traumatic stress.
Treatment is hard, nights are harder. But you learn to cope. And you learn distress coping mechanisms (healthy mechanisms). Can't say it's in the past, but I don't feel stuck in a bubble anymore.
Rebeckah Stevens I can relate to you so much, I am glad you less in the bubble you were in. I have PTSD, I am supposed to seek treatment for it but I always quit too early because I rather block some thing things out, has it been helping you?
I cant explain how much this video is helping me. I am going to share it with my family and friends that know I have this as I think it will help them understand why I am the way I am.
Its obviously extemely hard to socialize and I am aware I am acting different but I think if they watched this they might understand a bit better and not treat me like I am crazy.
I have had Drdp on and off for 1 and a half years. The first time it lasted 6 weeks them went completely for about 7 months. I am in the thrawls of it now 24/7 and have been for nearly 8 months.
Of course some days are better than others, sleep really affects the severity of it. I often sleep only 5-6 hours a night but if I get a solid uninterupted 8 hours I feel a lot better. Also drinking water helps too.
I’m currently taking sertraline and am awaiting my first counceling appointment in a weeks time. I hope that helps too.
This video really helps me not feel so alone and validates everything I’ve been going through. I also Identify with the bad eye sight and getting them tested with a result of excellent eye sight. Which was a relief.
I hope one day it will go for good and I fully intend to make a full recovery.
Positive thoughts and never give up hope guys. We’re all here for eachother x
Hey Forest Widow! I'm glad this video helped a bit. I hope your family/friends will begin to understand you a little bit better, though some people won't fully understand unless they have had something similar. Sleep is so important. I used to only get 5 hours each night but we could be those people that actually needs 8+. Hope the counsellor will be understanding and helpful for you :) Take good care x
I've been dealing with an anxiety disorder for a year now and I've only experienced derealisation for 8 months. It's probably my worst symptom and the hardest to tolerate, as it pretty much screws up your entire perception of reality. I relate to the vision thing, it's like a veil or like the saturation of everything decreased. I always feel like I'm in a dream, especially in busy places or when I'm stressed.
The thing that's the worst for me (and you're the first person to ever mention this, so thank you) is the constant philosophical thoughts. It's crazy! It's like I'm not even thinking them and it's my brain just constantly analysing the unanswerable - it's like I'm stuck in this existential crisis and my brain just sort of tells me that nothing we do on this planet matters because we're gonna die and leave it anyway. I hate thinking like that, because I know it's not me and I know that I don't care about that stuff. Anyway it has improved over the past several months, i just need to keep connecting to the outside world and what is now. Thanks for this video, it really validates what I'm going through. I feel confident that this will go away for me once my life changes (I plan on travelling and moving cities next year), just sometimes the present can suck so much. I hate this chapter of my life haha.
+Tom Law I really love reading what you wrote, it's sad of course but so relatable. "Analysing the unanswerable" yep! I get you.
I was diagnosed with Lupus in the summer after having severe pain and fatigue for six years. Recently I’ve been rediagnosed to mixed connective tissue disease which is very similar to lupus. It is so hard to cope with, I also experience with derealization very very often and it’s a horrid feeling. Having a chronic illness also makes recovering from an eating disorder very difficult. I hope your health is okay and that your lupus goes into remission.
Oh Kelly, that's so hard! I feel your pain :( I actually think out of everything that happened in life, it was the hardest...not sure why, I think it's because fatigue and pain just impacts a massive part of who you are and how you live life. I am actually in remission now, kind of feels like a miracle, I never thought I would feel like this again. I hope your MCTD with go into remission to and for a long time too!!
good stuff. Even though many people need much more help than this, not to consider that more education and knowledge (including the most scientific one and knowing all the symptoms) doesn't lead to more results and progress. So many people accept it, distract themselves, etc. but have little to no results and their anxiety and dpdr was not caused by smoking, weed, drugs, substances, etc. In those case, more help is required. But this info a good start.
you are really cute its adorable' im glad people are speaking out about this because I thought I was alone for the longest time and I had no idea what it was' but thankfully it hasn't happened to me for a while now but I gotta avoid big places with lots of people and weed.
I just wanted to thank you for making this video. I've had this for 4 years now, constantly but managed. However, I'm having a really bad with it at the mo and it's nice to know I'm not insane xx
Naomi Taylor Your def not insane, thank you for sharing x
Thank you for this. I've been dealing with chronic DR for 4 years and 2 months now; like some others have said, it's now essentially a part of me. I have to push it away and do my best to live a normal life. At first it was incredibly strong and I couldn't leave my house. Horrible anxiety accompanied it, however it was also brought on by intense anxiety and depression about my physical health (similar to you). I was having very scary physical symptoms where I felt like I was dying, began having panic attack like episodes which I had never had before and then suddenly I was stuck in existential thought/dream mode. But it's not a thinking issue - and that's where it gets confusing. You can't just turn it off and it's terrifying. I also experienced episodes of DP - looking in the mirror and not even being able to recognize myself. Like it wasn't my life.
Chronic illness is trauma. I'm sorry you had to experience that, too. Unfortunately I'm just now getting some true diagnoses..
I'm so glad things have gotten better for you. I really hope things get better for me, it's been pretty bad recently and it's like the worst feeling in the world :(
+Macey Grissom Sending you much love, I hope you will be better someday soon if not already.
I pray all you younger [OR ANY AGE] people can accept these problems are real...if you feel anything is different, odd or scary, or intrusive, depressing or making you feel a panicky feeling...because today in 2017 so much is now medically known and so much progress has been made in the studies of mental illness. There are good treatments now and new ways to cope. You are not alone! NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.
a www ty. Sharing some love! You are beautiful inside and out and you did a wonderful job of explaining.
Worse feeling in the world iv been dealing with it for years but just barely a year ago I found out what derealization and depersonalization I feel hopeless but it's a fight and we can all over come this stay strong never give up!!!
It was so weird to eat while having this like my actual head was somewhere else
She put everything I feel into words. I'm amazed and happy to find someone who feels what I feel. No one understand when I say how I feel. Just think i'm seeking attention.
I know how difficult it is to describe so I think you did an excellent job. It's a living nightmare, glad you're getting better! :)
+SongBillong Haha yes, I still didn't even properly describe it
i love how positive you are, never change
Thank you so much I was only diagnosed with dpdr a couple of months ago I thought I was going crazy it makes me so happy knowing I’m not the only one andthere are otheres out there that go through the same thing and people that understand and don’t think you sound crazy it’s really hard not having anyone around that knows how you are feeling it’s like you’ve read a whole book on someone and know every detail and memory about their life but they’re not youres and my family and friends don’t feel mine and my view on life in general has just devalued like nothing can make me feel purely happy
Your eyes are absolutely incredible.
Thank you Coldaziceee, no one has ever said that to me before. Though pretty sure it's the lighting that makes them look different 👀
I'm happy to finally have found someone mention their eyesight being affected by derealization because I really struggle to see things with the same clarity that I once did. I also thought it was because of bad eyesight and I've upped my prescription at the opticians and the issues still persists. I have no idea how to get out of this horrible state of always feeling like I'm brain dead :(
+Dylan Smith The bad vision part is what never goes away for me. I seriously am started to think is it related or not because it's like the last symptom I can't get rid of at all. 3 mri's all good too, no doctor I spoke to has heard of anything similar. Your message makes me feel less alone, thank you. I feel you.
I've been experiencing this for 8-9 months now, its so terrifying.. but I'm recovering by just moving on, occupying my self with everything around me, I felt so disconnected from everything so I forced myself and decided to connect my self to everything around me, now I'm 90% recovered ❤ you can do it, your not alone. It happens to the best of us.
Sam Kortez How did you get out of it?
Thank you for sharing this. This really helped me.
Thank you for letting me know Hailey, I appreciate it. Take care of yourself!
thank you so much for sharing this. I m experiencing derealization by several days wave since some monthes. It comes with random stress factors and make me have existential thought like the cycle life and death is useless.... which make the syptoms worse... meditation helps a lot, drawing, laughing , interest in buddism philosophy (sorry to sound like a silly zen guru. it s just my tips). and avoid alcool and coffee :) all my though to people experiencing this: you re not alone, remember it's possible to come back to live, it worth it. be strong.
i had derealization for a short time when i had depression. My eyes were like just behind my back, so I could see my nape of the neck and right shoulder while i was walking. I got really scared that time and could not do anything, just keep walking. 4 weeks of ssri pills worked well for me. I cannot even imagine how people can live in that state of mind for a long period of time.
what kind of ssri pills did you take? thanks in advance
try zoloft slowly
Thank you for the video. I have a chronic depression that comes with fear/panic and depersonalisation. It was caused by some "childhood conflicts". I am 22 and in therapy now, I believe there will be a life without all these symptoms for me. I always wanted to find out what this dreamy feeling is, until my therapist told me that this is depersonalisation. I never lived without it, I just always hoped to "wake up".
Steven Giger I know what you mean by "wake up", I would close my eyes tight and hoped when I opened them life would be normal again - if only! Yes, I totally believe you will have life without all these symptoms, atleast less intense/noticeable ;)
@@crazilydani3975 hi i have DPDR cud u help me pls x
I asked my dad about this when I was maybe 7 years old. I asked if he ever felt like if he was in a dream and I remember him saying yes and that's the only time I asked anyone about the feeling I had. I've been like this for so long it's not that I am getting used to it because some days out of no where I can really feel like it's an out of body experience and it will cause a panic attack. I feel like this almost everyday some days better than others. Please don't be afraid of how you feel. Some how learn to accept this may be your type of normal and it may seem weird or scary but it's a part of you/your soul. Just go about it the best way you can and remember you're not alone.
I'm sorry for your suffering, thank you for sharing your story. It helps!
+Schizopantheist :)
OMG I am so sorry for people who go through this for years.. I can't believe this. I have it just sometimes for some seconds or 1-2 minutes and it's so weird that it drives ne crazy
Hang in there, I been dealing with this since 2010 after I nearly died of workout supplements. Anxiety, Depression, and Derealization soon kicked in after I was battling for my life, next day I was all of a sudden in a strange world and like a dream. After battling with this for nearly five years, I can honestly say its just anxiety that's all. If you forget about the derealization anxiety and depression and get your mind off of it, then you are absolutely normal like you were before no difference what so ever. But then during the day you bring it back on yourself like "Oh crap remember you have derealization" then it hits you like two tons of bricks. I think just because this was more scarier than the time I nearly died, its so hard to forget this that we torture ourselves over this. Sometimes I wish they can just wipe out my memory all over again like do a lobotomy that way I never knew what this is, I used to think how in the hell did I go through 24 years without ever thinking about this day in and day out, knowing how scary it is I always tell myself well atleast I lived over 20 years totally free anxiety and dr.
the european Hey, thanks for comment, sorry that you went through such a long time with it too. I find that not thinking about it helps me too but personally I am triggered by things non-anxiety related. When I avoid meds/ substances/caffeine/allergies or sleep enough then I do not have the feeling (or notice it). Your right though, for a lot of people it anxiety related. Keep sharing to others, gives them hope ;)
the european I agree.. I have returned to a normal state many times for short periods, and am always surprised by it.. And then actually think, hey i dont have DP anymore.. And then the obsessive thought process returns.. Shit! lol
crazilyloved Me either.. I think our constant monitoring of our symptoms is our downfall
I don't think I will ever get back to normal and I accept that, its very rewarding like you say A Drews to get short periods or days not thinking about it and feeling like your old self. In the end we torture ourseleves, if we never thought about it we would be our old selves. Maybe one day this thought won't be that much important to me and I will dismiss it like nothing, but I doubt it.
I've had this for two months, due to a panic attack after trying marijuana. I developed an anxiety/panic disorder, which lead to this derealization and intrusive thinking. Btw your gorgeous, and thanks for the vid!
+Aerox How did you get rid of it
I feel super sad and bad );
I have it because i tryed two tabs of acid a while ago and i am permenantly stoned i kind of like it
Ive had it for a few years but just a little. After getting a panic attack from soming weed like you it got way worse than before :/
+AdamDoe Thank for sharing Adam, sorry for only seeing it now. My bad! I hope you're doing alright now. Take care ;)
Thank you for your very informative and truthful video. So sorry that you have this problem and good to see you are coping with it. I have it due to very stressful situations as a child but it was something I have learnt to live with together with the accompanying mild depression. I agree that it is not an illness that can be talked about or thought about too much as it will only make it worse.
I suffered from both for 4 years. Nothing can describe the awful feelings of this disorder. Now, I'm totally recoverd from it but only thinking about those timese I suffered from it makes me really start to cry. Believe me, I had to go through a lot in my life but this one is the worst ever. I was hit by a car, too, but I rather get hit another time than suffering from dissociation only one single day. (sorry for my poor English)
***** Your English is perfect! I am so glad you got through this :)
crazilyloved
Thanks! YES, YES, YES, I'm soooooooo very very happy, too, to have gotten rid of it. OMG I'm so blessed.
*****
Sending you my deep empathy and many hugs.
I cried because i'm so happy for you that you don't have it anymore.
kisss688
OMG Your reaghetion touches me so very much. Thank youu for so much empathy and letting me know. Honestly: Thank you.
I also have Depersonalisation but it so different from one another, yes there are things that relate. I felt like I am not in my own body, that I don't belong to myself. I felt like my hands were not mine, that my voice was like an echo. My vision was messed up too. I would see a dead fly in a lamp but it was flying! Everything that I would look at would move in a wavy kind of way. There is no real way of explaing this part of how I can see things, when I have a lot of anxiety. But I would have to say people who suffer from this should try their best not to pay attention to what is happening in their own mind. I can't look at a picture or statute, and many others things for a long time, because everything would get distorted. Pictures were more alive then real people. I saw what was not real as real, and real as not real. Hope that made sense? I could add so much more, but it would be a book to write about all that I experienced, and still do but not to the magnitude a few years back. I think that I will always have it, I just have to not pay attention to it, because that will make everything even worse. God Bless!
Thank you for this. So affirming! :)
+FacialHair Indeed. Your name is cool btw! :)
I've been suffering from this for 17 years. It feels like I control this fleshy shell from a screen behing my eyes. Its difficult to enjoy experiences like sunsets while climbing a mountain or scuba diving as it doesnt feel real. I ended up telling myself theres no point in experiencing things as i wouldn't FEEL the moment so whats the point. gradually I became numb to all feelings...I dated a girl for 4 years and when we broke up I honestly felt NOTHING. I dont get nervous in any situation as I feel a sense of protection as Im not fully engaged in this "reality". I've realised the best way to tackle it is to accept it, the more you remind yourself of it the longer the healing process takes. You have to remember this is your brain protecting you which is why it pulls you away from reality. I constantly say to myself "I know I have a condition, but what I see IS a reality, I just need my brain to switch off protection mode". Ive had it for 17 years and it hasnt killed me so in fact its harmless.... Its justthe visual thing sucks balls.
+Yacoub Yousif I say it so well ;)
I've been experiencing this for 5 months now. 2 months ago I was diagnosed with dysthymia, an anxiety and panic disorder. I already knew that I had dysthymia, so that was nothing new. It started in a time when I had too much stress and my sleeping pattern was really bad because of it. My sensories are so highly function that sometimes even just "looking" at things is too much. When i'm speaking to people and focus on their face my vision gets ever weirder. It also feels like when they're talking to me and i'm talking back, that it's not my own voice I hear when I'm speaking. It's just oddly weird in every way i'm experiencing this derealization, and it really makes me lose my mind... i was glad I found out I'm not the only one suffering from it, because i just felt i was alone in this and that thought made me really hopeless.. but i have faith it's going to be alright. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day! And to everyone who's experiencing it, being anxious of life.. you're not alone xx
i have both since 3 years now... it's horrible to live with it. i feel death alive
kisss688 Sorry to hear that, I guess you have tested most of the potential causes to eliminate what might be going? I hope you get out of this soon, it can and does get better
It's amazing to see that other people feel exactly like you do. A really good video, thanks @crazily dani
Thank you Rae, I hope you get through this soon
this is Exactly how i am, ive been hospitilized, depressed, diagnosed with severe anxiety, and feel like im going crazy, sometimes my vision goes blurry or shaky or like it moves up and down it weird ik but im afraid to tell my psychologist abt it bc i think it might be bc i smoke weed sometimes and i dont want anyone to know , im scared
Aubrey Blake I have exactly everything you just said, you’re not alone. If you ever need to speak just hmu here
You are so beautiful!
One of the hardest things for me is the feeling that nobody else gets it. Like my friends and co workers not that I try to explain it to them. Anxiety ocd depression and this is so messy and so hard to explain its tricky to cope with. I find when I don't try so hard things start to make sense and become easier but that's hard to do. Constantly over thinking
+Joseph Eastwood The mind is pretty powerful, def something worth mastering :) I hope you get better with this, the anxiety, ocd and depression.
I felt like this all my life and never knew this is what it was.... wow... I'm glad I found a name for it at least
Alexis Bell me to
They say only in 1-2% of the population gets these disorders on a major level like I experience, which affects my daily life massively, and also makes my social anxiety go through the roof! I've just got myself to the point where I don't wanna have dealings with nobody even my closest family and I think to myself ill just be better off alone.. I just wanna get my life back on track before things escalate from worse to even worser!
Thank you for sharing! Not sure if you are currently seeing a counsellor or therapist but it could be beneficial for you. I have a tendency to hide away from friends and family and social setting, I regret those years and it also makes social anxiety insanely more harder to overcome. Being alone is safer but finding a couple of people you feel comfortable with can be helpful. And I am pretty sure they would gain a lot of from your company! Finding others with social anxiety who what to overcome it, can be helpful because at least you know how each other feels. It's good you are aware that things could get much worse of you don't attempt some small steps to help yourself. You got this! Take good care
No problem! Thank you for replying :) I also liked your video and subscribed! You seem to know everything about this nasty disorder! And I am definitely considering counselling or therapy.. I always believed counselling or therapy was for crazy people or something lol! But obviously I know now it can be for various things.. Thank you also for the good advice! I'll be sure to definitely follow them up! And you take good care too.
My depersonalization was TERRIFYING, I didn't even want to get out of bed I thought I was going crazy. Like you said, I felt like everything wasn't real and my vision was 2D. And to top it all off, I was going through an existential crisis and having panic attacks. I would think, 'why am I me and not someone else?' and have suicidal thoughts even though I was never suicidal before that moment.
I'd always think, 'What's the point of living if I'm always going to feel this way?'. Until a month or two ago it started getting better, I still feel it but it's not as bad anymore. I can go through my day without panicking, but will sometimes feel strange. At times it hits me for a couple seconds which is so scary to me, then goes away.
I never thought other people would feel this way.
Is it terrifying for you guys too, when it happens? I want to know if it's normal to feel scared and your heart to start palpitating.
brianna villanueva Wow, I could relate to so much of what you said. Obviously and thankfully I never completed suicide attempts. I am glad you did not too :)
It is normal to feel scared because it is a crazy "unnatural" and scary experience, so yes! Terrified and palpitations could also be related to anxiety/panic, for many people DP/DR is anxiety related.
I now try to remember it is completely harmless and it will ease to a more bearable state. It took me along time to get this way but I can handle it better now when it intensifies and know what to do.
brianna villanueva Again.. existential thoughts and the curious nature and obsessive thought patterns are why we are here.. I am sure of it. Yes drugs for some were the stimulus, but the thoughts are what started it and kept us here.,
you are Gorgeous..... i too have this.. bad.. paxil messed me up.. was on that for 26 years... i got off it in 2018.
I have had extreme bad anxiety ever since I got off Paxil I've been to the ER Hospital many many times
*(My Story)* So it was around 1:00am and I wasn't able to go to sleep. I was irritated that I couldnt sleep because I wanted to wake up early. So I did some deep breathing exercises, perhaps that would help me sleep. I felt really strange at this point. I wasn't sure what was happening, I felt alien. I almost started to breath in panic but I quickly said to myself, calm down and continue your breathing exercises. I accepted what ever was going on in my mind. So I concentrated on my stomach going in and out, deep breathing. After I was done, I was still feeling odd, I continued to allow this experience. _My mind was gone, I didn't have much of a perception of time, so what was the need to go to sleep?_ I felt as though there was no need to achieve anything, no need to impress anyone. Having no real perception of time, I came to the obvious realization I have never thought of before. _'Time isn't real'. I felt it as reality instead on an idea._ Saying that, I felt an increase in my bodily senses. So I walked around. It was amazing, as if everything was new again. My feet on the floor, the look of my bedroom, even opening the door and walking through it. So immediately decided (with no real decision) that I was going to have a shower and feel this out. I did just that.
In the shower, I was still in the swing of this odd state of mind. The best way I can describe it is... I wasn't me/Ethan with his story, it all left with the loss of 'time', time being past, present, future. You could say I was completely in the present. I think I felt like that because my bodily senses increased? As if my mind slowed down and my body was emitting energy? Maybe thats what its like to be an animal? To be completely aware of your surrounding at such a level that your not distracted by you'r thoughts. Like when your really quite and you can hear every noise in you'r house. Except I seemed to be pushed into this state of mind somehow? I am normally full of anxiety. This was freeing. I would love to go back to it.
Its strange though, other people on the subject of depersonalization tend to panic. If anyone els has this depersonalization occurring. Try accepting as if you weren't afraid to die, I would like to know if that changes the experience at all. Im curious.
+E.T. That's not necessarily how depersonalization works. You may have achieved a positive state that has similar effects but depersonalization is associated with increased anxiety, panic, and it's much more difficult to be "present" or even identify what the "present" is.
Dionté Wilkens Thats the thing. You don't have perception of time at all. Thats presence.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
Love this video so much! Helped me understand what I was going through!
Bless you for sharing & I'm so glad you're getting better. ... sorry to be a downer but it doesn't always go away - had mine 24 years & counting. ..
Friend found this video for me, I’ve been experiencing derealization like something from some time. I am glad that (reading the comments and watching this vid) shows me that I am not alone and not insane. This is one of the only things I see when I have an episode that I believe is real like...? Ugh whatever, I’m gonna talk to my mom about it soon and ask to get a diaganose something.
realising that the true 'you' is not this mortal pattern shaped through evolution (your body) is certainly scary, i find that mindfulness meditation, exercise, good diet and good sleep help a lot!
also, philosophy/alan watts guided me to accepting it and experience satori through it.
I would describe it as not feeling the breeze of the outside world
This is terrifying because of how much I understand this. I didn't know it was an actual thing, just thought I was going bat shit.
I have DR and I got it on holiday in Greece and it was so beautiful there and I had never experienced an abroad holiday properly like I did. I kept telling myself how can this be real such a wonderful place and I would swim all day and have lovely dinners with my family but then one night it was a big heatwave and I got dizzy and told my mum she said to go lye down and what made it worse is that I was in the pool at the time. I slipped over as I was walking in my room as I was wet and the floor was slippery, I banged my head and just layed down. I was fine after a while then the next day it happened again then the next day and so on. It happened twice a day. When I got home from holiday I was fine and so relieved. Then a couple days after I went far away in the country and it was hot, as I was walking with my mum and dad I was speaking and some how I just managed to think of what happened on holiday (DR).. As I was speaking I couldn't remember what I was even talking about and I
stopped talking. I was saying in my head not this again and I found out that what triggered it was the heat, now it happens sometimes but not as often. I try not to think about it and it goes but comes back. It's still there in my mind but I have to think about it to make it come. Or if I have lots of pressure on me it happens. But now I'm 12 and I have told nobody I am too scared. My mum and dad will get worried if I tell them and they will take me to hospital and I have a fear of hospitals as I'm always due for some kind of injection. I just need a friend who is experiencing what I have and still do. :(
+_ JodieEdn Don't worry no injection should come near you with DR/DP if you did go to the DR's they would just listen to you. Though can't say they would understand, Psychologist understand it though...well, in some way. Take care and thank you for sharing!
i am 19 and i have been experiencing derealisation depersonalisation since middle school i think, or maybe even before that, i am not exactly sure. few weeks ago i finally had the courage to go see a psychiatrist but as soon as i walked in there i started having a really strong episode of anxiety and dp, im not sure he noticed that. he had a poker face so im not even sure he took my words seriously. i couldnt describe what i have been experiencing for all these years. he told me to take a mmpi test and eeg scan, i took the test but not the eeg scan. i feel like nothing can cure my disorder. like i am born with it and going to die with it, hurting people around me, hurting myself, people not understanding how bad my situation is and others making fun of me, because i seem weird and stuff. anyway, im going to end my too long yet pointless comment here.
No way was your comment pointless, it's saddening to here what you are going through. Don't be worry about being anxious in therapy, any psychiatrist/therapist I saw I suddenly turned into some quivering feeble little child and major dp/dr lol! I think they are used to it if they have been a pscyhiatrist for long. I hope you get good help and therapy. It seems to help people cope with it anyway or get to a place where dp/dr doesn't hinder their lives and hey, some people even get completely people better again. Don't give up and take care Duygu.
I'm so relieved that Im not the only one. Thank you :)
+Aric Arthur Nope, thousands of us...at least! Take Care Aric :)
I've been experiencing these symptoms severely, but i'm not sure for how long but right now it's especially bad. I'm really scared that it have this.
About a year ago, me and my friends went out for a friends birthday. They all decided to smoke before going out and I wasn't planning on smoking because I get hella anxiety when I'm high. Once they were smoking, I decided to take a couple hits. Once it hit me, I got a huge panic attack. I couldn't control myself and I was scared, I was so close to crying. The next day, I regretted smoking. During class, I felt as if I was high. I started feeling really weird and i thought my high was still there. But the feeling never went away.. I began feeling it for the rest of the week and I decided to google what I was feeling. Then I realized there was a word for what I was feeling and I broke down crying because I thought I was going insane. As time went by, I felt better. I started feeling normal again. Not until this Sunday.. it hit me once again and I still don't know how to cope with it. It's a horrible feeling and I pray to god to take this feeling away.
Do you know what triggered it the second time?