I feel the same while writing thisss. I pinch myself during school because I want to try and realize that I am awake. I got it around 1 year ago at school and I literally couldn't think straight or just do anything. It was a struggle for me to learn for a while but like I felt very confused most of the time. It disappeared for a while then came back during school (I am in school now, started school about 3 days ago now). I realized that bright lights make me really light headed and causes me to be more in a dream, it's confusing and I don't umderstand. I had mental break downs about it during school last year because I really felt that I wasn't alive. My emotions would be crying but my thoughts and eyes are a whole new thing.
That’s derealisation / depersonalisation I guess , I have it too but don’t want to open up about it to my family and stuff just because I’ve had it as long as I can remember and so I’m learning to just deal with it .
i remember telling a therapist 3 years ago when i was 15 that if still had dpdr by the time i was 18 then id kill myself.. i still have dpdr but im still here i guess lol
I thought it was just me, I didn't know this is even exit, i thought it just in my mind, this is even hard to explain to someone, I having this since i was 14 years old and now I am 29, this is get worse when i am afraid. is there any medicine for this ?
Welp i think that life is a dream. Like i am dead and now I'm in a diferent world if ya'll get it. Its soo fricking horrible and kinda creepy when u really think about it.Or sometimes i think that i am the only one who is real and all the people around me are fake... It's a horrible feeling.. So if anyone knows how to stop this PLEASE tell me..
I have never felt so connected to anyone in my life, this was scary to me how accurate this is to my life right now. I feel you girl, thank you for this
That description at 2:50 actually sounds more typical of a hypotensive episode, lying outside in the warm sun then standing up and walking, the visual symptoms are typical of postural hypotension, very common in younger people.
It makes it so difficult to learn anything or create anything! I feel nothing 95% of the time and just floating through life. Mine doesn't feel like a dream but like my life is a movie happening through my eyes.
@@megsnicolec I wish you good luck on your journey through life. This is a pretty awful handicap but we just have to hope it can be treated one day! It's probably really common to be misdiagnosed as depressed, many can't comprehend the emptiness we feel. No happiness, but no sadness either, true limbo. It's thought to be caused by extreme emotional stress, and you can randomly "come back" at any time. 🤞
i sometimes can’t tell my memories and dreams apart. I can’t tell if i’m sleeping or awake and the amount of deja vus i’m having is a painful lot. I forget things i said or thought seconds after doing so and it’s so scary because i DONT KNOW what it is.
Saame cuz one time i was talking to my sister about all the dumb stuff we used to do as kids and i told her about this one time when i did this and that and bla bla bla it was just a memory i had but then she told me that she didn't remember that and she told me that it (the 'memory') probably never happened because if it did she would have remembered it (she's older than me) and it was just a dream or smth and it really messed me up that day cause i was thinking (how many of my other memories and fake? How can i tell which is real and which isn't ?) Also i can't remember half my childhood in the first placeso i was really sad bc i thought i wasted my whole childhood :/ Srry if there is any typos of if this text is too long or if it dosn't make sense bc i was typing this at the speed of light
@@srisra_br9o9a Omg yes!!! this is what happens to me too… I can’t even process the dreams I have half the time I can’t differentiate memories, thoughts, and feelings are so paralyzed… faint! I can’t remember my childhood, let along remember what I even said.. Sometimes I feel like I have no control of my emotions like if I blurt something absurd out i’m like shoot ! I can’t remember it feels like to feel whole again… personality is everywhere ! the self is disrupted foreal!
@@luceromoreno9081 Yes! yes! yes! You can’t even feel yourself dreaming ? let alone sleep….? when your sleeping it’s like your dead? … when your awake your partially dead??? hmmmm only someone with this would understand me
Thank you for talking about this! I don’t experience derealisation, however, it helps me understand it a lot better. I appreciate you talking about mental illness’ since it helps people who experience these types of things
Thank you for describing derealisation in such a mature way, that really helped me, as someone who does not experience derealisation (but does suffer from depression and social anxiety), understand what it is like to experience derealisation. Thank you dodie.
I’ve had this since elementary school and never realized it was a real thing. I used to have it every once and a while and now it’s everyday, it’s almost like living in a vr video game for me like it’s like you’re not actually there, you’re seeing everything but you don’t think you’re there. Everything feels too bright and everywhere I go I have to remind myself i’m alive and pinch myself to make sure i’m here
Oh my god, I just tried to explain to my sister the SAME exact thing! I feel like my “real” body is outside of myself and what I’m seeing is just a vr headset game. It’s super scary. Fluorescent lights tend to make it worse for me
I feel this too... the only problem is, I have chronic itching due to eczema, so pinching myself is about equivalent to how hard I scratch myself on the daily, and so I just end up with that persistent feeling and bleeding spots all over my back and arms...
I appreciate your openness and honesty regarding this topic. Mental illnesses outside of depression and anxiety are rarely talked about in detail and there is still so much stigma around it. I really appreciate this video.
MinistressForMagic same here. I’ve never heard of this condition before, so it’s great to learn about it from someone who can explain what it feels like to them.
MinistressForMagic same, I have depression and ADHD and RUclips and Reddit have been way more helpful than my doctors and therapist. We need more research on all of this.
Then you clearly do not even know about depression and anxiety. It is very common to have derealization with those disorders. It's basically a symptom of those disorders.
isn't derealization caused by anxiety and depression? it is hard for many people to describe the symptoms they feel. and it is scary to tell others as fear that they might not be understood and they don't realize that many many many others feel the same
xoxXOXO l Also, depression and anxiety are unfortunetaly "so" represented that they end up being wildly misunderstood still, like people having an image of panic attacks in class from movies whereas for me it's much more like feeling like drowning and forgetting something hugely important at ALL times...
Disassociation/derealisation is the brains way of pulling you away from trauma !!!! I feel you so much, dodie. I’m sorry you go through this on a daily, but one day you are going to be a new woman where this is so much less of a reality and you will experience things with the vividity you did as a teenager, but it will be so much better because you will be a grown up woman who has known pain and will appreciate the experiences so much more !!! LOVE YOU STAY STRONG!
I burst into tears watching this I had no idea other people felt like this. Thank you for making this video it is incredibly validating to know I’m not alone
I started crying as well. I’ve been sick for the past 5 years (it all started after a bad car wreck and PTSD) but the foggy/spacey/dreamy feeling has been more present this past year. I’ve been to so many doctors, had counseling (for awhile), gone to my psychiatrist, had eyes checked, gone to neurologist and had testing done, trying to sort things out yet somehow, other things kept popping up. I never thought that the dreamy feeling I was experiencing was valid, or that I was actually feeling it. ‘Maybe it was just a bad day, a bad week, a bad month,’ I kept telling myself. But it wasn’t. What I’m feeling is valid and real, even if everything else feels unreal. And watching this incredible video proved that. I found such an immense sense of comfort and of calmness after watching this video. I told my mom and we’re going to schedule an appointment with my counselor, to sort everything out, and then hopefully begin finding the best kind of treatment for me. None of us are alone in this fight that we call life (I’m felling very poetic at the moment lol muh bad) and we can all find comfort with the incredible (and definitely real) people around us. Hope that you’re doing better, after finally knowing that you are definitely NOT alone💗💗
I'm coming back to this video now, years after first watching it, to let you know this was the first place I ever heard the word "depersonalization" after suffering with it quietly all through high school. I am 22 now and I am coping much better. Thank you for making the decision to talk about this; your channel became a safe space for me because of this video.
I know exactly what you mean, in hindsight I'd been dissociating for years, but only for a few hours/a day? at most. I came back to watch this video as I'm now over a month deep into the worst episode yet. It comes in waves and is lessening down (I hope), but I remember practically nothing of September. Probably for the best as what I vaguely remember happening is whatever I told other people and the idea of multiple panic attacks in a day must not have been pleasant for me. On the plus side, Wake Me Up When September Ends now has a whole new meaning to me.
i watched it for the first time right at the start when i was experiencing it but because my symptom was everything looking sharper instead of dreamier like hers, I denied it and spent 4 years basically lying to myself. Feels relieving now that I have the words to describe it!
i was diagnosed with this about two or three years ago because i had just lost my sister to suicide and i blamed myself for it and our situations are similar in the way we experience it. as for your suggestions for helping with it, i think i might try the tmsing as well as taking that vitamin as i haven't done those yet. also thank you for posting about this because i am glad that i am not alone! - TIPS: - i like to remind myself that im present by always keeping a journal with me and reading all the notes my friends have written to me and most of the time it does the job. - every so often i get up and do some streched. - also, have someone hug you or touch you in an uplifting way! - of course, always try to think positively!
hoshijoo people using my name in conversations and touching my shoulder is so helpful! Also warm things like hot showers and steamy soup. The same with really cold things like ice water. Doesn't fix it totally but it makes the world a little brighter! Thanks for the tips!
I'm so sorry about your sister. Weirdly enough, I started dissociating after I also lost my sister to complications due to a suicide attempt (also two years ago) -- it can feel very isolating and scary. But you're right, you're not alone.
When dodie talked about it... it's weird because I felt so many of these things before like sometimes my vision used to go black (and thinking back to it it was when I was really stressed out also) I remember one time I looked in the mirror and it didn't look like myself... like I knew I was looking at me but I didn't recognized myself like something was off and I can't explain why. And I 100% remember like last year and 2 years ago I felt like I wasn't thinking correctly like I didn't feel grounded at all. I forgot about everything and if became hard to think correctly? I really don't know how to explain not thinking correctly. It's like my brain wasn't organizing experiences and thoughts correctly. Idk I'm not saying I have this condition because it doesn't happen to be a lot but I remember experiencing some of these things before
I can’t thank you enough for making this. When I clicked your video, I was hopeful but doubtful that you’d be talking about what I’ve been experiencing. Halfway through, I burst into tears. I’ve been feeling so scared and alone this past year, because no one I talk to seems to understand it. I’m an organized, motivated, extroverted person and when these derealization spells hit, it’s like I’m PRETENDING to be all of those things. Doing ordinary tasks is overwhelming. Conversations are like climbing a mountain. And my memory is completely shot- short term and long term. Again, thank you so much for talking about this. I feel better already just knowing I’m not alone. And to anyone else feeling this way, remember to take a moment to breathe and be kind to yourself ❤️
I started crying too, I'm not sure I have depersonalization, but it seems close. I try to keep conversations alive to feel grounded or I completely lose track of time and get lost in thought, or even just blank for a bit. I really hope nothing is wrong with me and that this is normal teenager stuff.
alyciadweeb exactly, and time goes by so quickly it’s like you’re already living in the past. You look back at the day and don’t remember doing half the things you did
I am the same way!! Extroverted and motivated. At first I thought the disosiation was very interesting, just once in a while, but then it started to worry me after a few weeks of it being constant. I lost my motivation, things stopped mattering. I still cared but couldn't bring myself to do anything, and nothing felt real, no consiquenses or gains.
You probably won’t see this but I just wanted to say that in music class, we have to write about our favorite artist and I chose you. You have been such an inspiration that even when you are in your lowest low you can make it out. Thank you
It’s hard to imagine living like this all the time. I only had this during panic attacks, the first time I had no idea what a panic attack was. I kept having to remind myself that what was happening was happening NOW...that I wasn’t remembering it. I kept saying to myself, “Is this happening now? Am I here now?” It was very scary and very weird. It feels like you’ve been drugged which is exactly what I thought happened.
it's awful, it's fucking terrible, had it 5 years now non stop and ive basically lost me teenage years to it, my whole teenage years are a blur and i want to die all the time yikes
@@katieh7927 Yep same I am like:Ok this is probs a dream all i need to do is jump of a roof and i'll wake up :) But damn then i think like:Oh shit what is this isn't a dream (If u know what i am trying to say rn)
oh boy I'm getting a bit teary-eyed and I don't wanna self diagnose, but I've been feeling this for as long as I can remember. It's so relieving to hear that what I might be experiencing is something that is real and shared. I've asked so many people including friends and family, and I've never been able to understand why other people are so normal. I'm almost crying now and I just wanna say thank you so much for putting this information out there.
Elise Beaufeaux, I completely relate to this. I had no idea this was an actual mental diagnosis until my friend sent me this video and explained it. I’ve also felt like this sense, well forever, and I can’t remember a time when I didn’t. I am only a teen and I don’t know how to tell my parents in a way they will understand or seek help. But I’m glad I am not the only one who has felt the same way!
Same dude. At fourth grade I always feel like I was drifting and everything seemed like a film. My teacher always called me out for this. He was the best though, made my elementary days lighter.
I never ever considered other people could have this. I thought I was going crazy. I read a comment below that perfectly described my own experience. Feeling a kind of invincibility and not caring as much as usual since the world doesn't really feel real until you "wake up". Like you're watching someone live their/your life through a window. The first few times were extremely disorientating when I woke up. It's gotten less disorientating the more times it has happened.
I keep reading comments that actually relate to what I’m dealing with and I’ve never been able to find someone dealing with the same thing as me. I feel the same way
Echo Nov (I’m not sure if I have the same thing because mines a little weaker) I have a thing where I feel almost like I’m looking at life in 3rd person, but my senses are fine, I just feel dizzy and disoriented..
i just got diagnosed with dpdr literally like two days ago and it feels SO GOOD to know that I’m not going crazy or whatever, but that it’s a Real Thing and that I’m not just making it up. i started having severe symptoms in the spring so it all went quite quickly thanks to some lovely friends that recognised what i was going through when i tried to explain my experiences and encouraged me to seek help. and it’s really great to know that other people feel this way as well. thank you!
I notice people with depersonalization/derealization have a _thing._ For dodie, it's looking in the mirror and not recognizing herself. For me, it's staring at my hand and realising _this isn't my hand._ So i wrote something that describes it. You stare at the back of your hand. You see the cracks in your skin, the crevices, the spiderweb of ridges. They've allways been there. It is your hand, after all. But this time it's different. The cracks are deep and dark enough to fall into. The crevices create baren river beds, branching across the rest of your hand. It seems dry and brittle. Like it could crumble at any moment. You hunt down a bottle of lotion, but nothing changes. Now it shimmers. The light catches it, and your hand seems a lot bigger than your hand should be. _Is this really your hand?_ Someone has turned the sharpness up, a little too much. But there is no picture. There is no camera. There is simply a hand that you do not recognize, and something like panic making its slow way up your chest, using your ribs like the rungs of a ladder. You stare at the hand until it is no longer a hand; it is something dark and terrifying. It is a physical representation of your own crumbling psyche. You shove it into your pocket, anywhere, just as long as it is out of sight. One day you'll look at it again. And maybe that day you'll recognize your own hand. It is your hand, after all.
thehydrangea andtherose I get the exact same thing, it always starts with the hand and the more I look at it the more foreign and scary it looks, then it generally progresses to the rest of my body which then just feels completely disconnected to my brain. Scary stuff
i actually have both, i mean it's not really that bad, it's just the moments of confusion, of "wait... this is me? i'm a person" it's really bizarre, stay strong though! did you go to any specialist btw?
I do that thing too, but with my legs. It’s weird, like if I’m sitting and I look at my legs I’m like “woah those are attached to my body. like those are my legs”. I experience the mirror thing that dodie was explaining also though.
There's something I've read somewhere that helps me "come back", or ground myself to reality when I feel like my surroundings aren't real : around you, you should try to find - 5 things you can see - 4 things you can touch (and imagine what the sensation would be) - 3 things you can hear - 2 things you can smell - 1 thing you can taste. This technique helped me a few times, it forces you to be aware of what's really around you.
coming back to this vid roughly 5 years later now experiencing dpdr chronically for around 3 years almost moved me to tears. dodie as a musician and a personality was always my biggest inspiration through tween years and now being freshly 18 revisiting the music and youtuber sides of dodie is so connecting with my younger self (a part of my life i often forget because of the dpdr). thank you for inspiring me to play little songs on my uke and love the world with my whole heart
To everyone reading the comments. Feeling spacey (brain fog) is a VERY common thing and most people will experience it at some point in their life. It is when it occurs for an extended amount of time (EX: months, years) and interferes with your daily life and relationships that it becomes a disorder. There is so much self-diagnosing these days that everyone seems to all have clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and an anxiety disorder. Please don't add this one to the list. It is hard enough for this one to be understood and taken seriously. Just trust me when I tell you that every single person in the comments does not have DP/DR disorder...
tanye west i’m glad i found this comment bc i have like 10-20 minute episodes of brain fog like every couple days or so and i felt like it wasn’t this chronic disorder but i can relate to how it’s described bc i have these episodes every so often. i was trying to see if people have what i have and i know this isn’t quite the same. thank u for confirming that this disorder is chronic
ODS_Cobbtune yeah it happened to me yesterday and it was crazy. i was in the city on a saturday night with thousands of people and there were loud music playing and the lights were flashing and it made me feel dizzy. i felt like i wasn’t in the real world and everything felt like i was dreaming. i have anxiety (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) and i think that is the cause. it makes me feel like nothing matters and everything around me seemed fake. i also started to laugh uncontrollably over not even funny things and i felt like i was high or drunk or something. i’m really worried this feeling won’t go away, i don’t feel like myself after it. i would always feel like this after a party or watching fire works and bright flashing colourful lights. i feel like we both should seek help before this feeling corrupts and affects our daily lives and our relationships with other people.
I had it when I was young and I had many episodes and then it just never came back. But it was terrifying and I’d often feel like I was gunna faint. I remember my teacher yelling at me when I told her I felt like I was going to faint again. I couldn’t help it and often asked ppl around me if I was in a dream. Huh I wonder why that just randomly stopped. I was told it was panic disorder
I have autism, and severe PTSD. I'm also going blind from a eye disease. Because of Dodie, I found out that my floaty fake-ish feeling wasn't normal. So thank you Dodie 🌻♥
I had this for three years and really thought I would kill myself if it continued any longer. You explained this perfectly ❤️ I wish you had posted this when I first had it as there was only a wiki page on it and self-help forums so I really believed nothing was real. I did get depression from and did not do as well during exams. If you're suffering from, I know it seems like dp is all there is right now but there is a way out. I overcame it without therapy or any help but it is a process that took a while. All I remember is that one day I decided not to focus on it at all and try to divert my mind on to many different things. Recovery in it self probably took me about a year but I'm glad it's over. I don't even remember exactly what it felt like, only that I was miserable with it. Please keep going, look to the future, depersonalisation is not permanent it's a state you need to get out of by relaxing and overcoming anxieties. You can do this alone, with friends or a therapist. Good luck ❤️
@@brandoncarr4097 I does feel like it will last forever and every moment is like eternity but it won't last and when you get better life feels amazing again. Reach out for help if you can, it must be harder to deal with stuck at home in a pandemic
i was scrolling through the comments looking for mine from three years ago. when i found yours i did a double take because what you wrote sounds so damn similar to my own experience and the advice i’ve been giving people! it’s so strange. but this is not my old comment 😂 nonetheless i’m very happy you got out of it.
Wow, Hi I’m fourteen, and yesterday I went to a therapist for the first time because of derealization. Being in school, you need to constantly stay focused and on task. Yet class would go by in a blur, it was like there were white clouds over my vision and sound was muffled. And after class, my friends would ask what was wrong, I would be sitting in my seat with a distorted face not looking at anything just staring forward. I looked confused by they would say, whilst in reality I was trying to wipe away the clouds blocking away my vision. I felt as though I was going insane. Already depressed I felt defeated, left alone in the world. I have started to self harm, as I fell only deeper into depression because of the stress mental illness brings upon us. Yet as I went to a therapist yesterday and I found out I’m not alone. It was so funny to see this video pop up on my feed after all this happened. I haven’t tried any treatment yet, but I hope so soon. I’m seen as an annoyance to teachers as when they ask me to read or answer a question I take at least 30 seconds to snap out of my state. And though it seems like not much time, 30 seconds is enough to get you some bullying. I’m seen as a freak and a weirdo, and I’m scared to talk about it. Yet watching this video, I felt as though I was talking to a friend! You are such an inspiring beautiful person, and I hope you realize that! Xoxo Mollie from Seattle P.S If anyone else does read this, if you are feeling this way reach out to a trusted teacher! My old teacher from 7th grade (Ms. Weed) yes weed.. She is absolutely amazing and sweet. I told her about how I felt, and it really kickstarted my journey to getting better!
Hope all goes well! I am also considered an annoyance to my teachers, like I will ask a question and they yell at me for not paying attention but I was, I feel like I just blank out as if there's a tiny hole of my memory from something someone just said or showed is missing, and its hard to focus on classwork, (and that means late assignments ick) and it makes me feel better to see someone my age going through something similar, (oml I suck at writing)
Same, it's just so hard when you have to deal with this at school. I've once forced myself to focus on what the teacher is saying but it felt so blurry but no one knew. I'll try to tell my mom so she can get me a therapist. Hope to recover, hope you do too
Thank you for sharing! I can’t relate that much besides the depression but I think you’re a very strong person and wish you the best of luck on the road to recovery!
I almost got chills when you said something about Christmas lights. I first had an "episode" of depersonalization and derealization at a Christmas lights show when I was only TEN years old. I felt like I was going insane. I took me so long to find out I wasn't alone, but I've never connected to any of the symptoms people had mentioned until this video. Thank you so SO much. This video has, and I really mean it, changed my life.
I recommend the Anxiety Ninjas videos. I was like this for over a year and it was horrible. I’ve watched his videos on it and slowly felt better about what I was going through and now I’m free from it, I sometimes get my little moments here and there but they don’t bother me, feeling normal again is 100% possible. :) From my bad experience with it, I found that making it “who I was” or paying attention to it all the time and just simply ruminating on it made it worse and just struck more anxiety in me. So I’m not downing her ways or anything like that because maybe it helps her, but honestly for me personally, I found that it wasn’t the best idea to be writing about it and making it a big part of who I was because it wasn’t, I just stopped calling myself a sufferer. Once you understand what DPDR is, you’ll understand why circling your life around it like it’s something that’s not gonna end is a bad idea. DPDR is there as a defence mechanism to help you through traumatic experiences which is why you hear some people say they felt out of body or that they don’t remember a certain event for example major pain like an animal attack, it helps you not focus on the pain but instead “the weird feeling”. So with that basic understanding of it, I was able to steer into trying to feel like myself again. I know it doesn’t sound the easiest, but it’s simple. I thought I needed all the medication, all the weird treatments, all the nights of hospitalization when all I really needed was the education and support. I hope y’all get through it because I can assure you that it isn’t forever :) Although it isn’t just as easy as watching videos, that’s what I’m making it seem like lol, it does take time and effort to help yourself get through it, not gonna lie it took me a while but it was all worth it in the end. HERES A TIP- Surround yourself with your friends and good vibes even when you feel like you don’t have the energy, trust me when I was around my friends, their good energy made me feel better especially when I had really bad days, never stay home and sulk the whole time!
Hei I don't know if you will ever read this but you really helped me a lot with this comment. I went over to Anxiety Ninjas channel and now I feel so much better to know that it's a coping mechanism and there's a way out. Thank you so much for recommending him!
I have an exercise I do when it gets really bad. Take a deep breath and Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one you can taste. It helps ground you and remind you you are here.
I'm always writing song names/titles and one that came to me out of this problem is called "I forgot I was on earth" lol ;D It's best to just have some humor about it and try to force your mind away from the negative thinking into a positive outlet. I've dealt with it for years and it is a struggle. Call it ocd, call it pseudo balber affect, call it derealization or depression, call it what you want it's all just terror. Ppl dont even realize (me included once) that every auto negative thought that the mind has naturally sends electrical impulses to the body yhat tells it how to feel so we to train how talk back to ourselves. We have and will continue to grow in a world full of wounds but fight club must go on. God Bless you all!
You go through your normal day, when all of the sudden... everything changes. Nothing fully computes in your head and you feel zoned out. Your brain and body feel like two separate things instead of a full working “machine”. Or at least that’s my experience with derealization. I talk about it and nobody understands, so to know that there are people like me; it makes all the difference.
SOS Save Our Seas right?! it’s so nice to feel safe in a community like this- even though it might not be an in person conversation, it’s still a convo with a real person who understands the real experience! (Sorry for the long sentence reply- i’m a bit insane lol)
Same! The only person I know who knows this feeling is a friend I have, and we don’t even talk a lot. Whenever I bring it up to my friends they look at me like I’m nuts
Tbh sometimes it is worse than this. You feel disconnected even from your brain, like you are not sure if the thoughts are really yours. If there is even you at all
I have this too well i have autism and ptsd so it comes in the package. Very very odd but honestly im glad i have it. Sometimes it can be very soothing to just space out from the world but it also makes you quite vulnerable to bad people. I feel you girl ♡
Oh my goodness. Dodie. This is nuts! As soon as i read the title i freaked out, because i constantly feel this way, especially when I’m in a new place. I always tell my friends “I always feel like my life is a dream” and they tell me I’m crazy and that it will go away and it’s nothing to be depressed about. Thank you for making reality feel a bit more real for me.💗 Edit: listening to the part in your book about watching a movie made me remember the first time i felt this way. I haven’t thought of this since it happened. I was 10 and on my class trip to Disney World. One we arrived, nothing felt real, but i was still aware. We went on the Finding Nemo ride, and became entangled in the beauty of the ride. The characters were right there, like i could almost reach my small hand out and touch them. Once we got off, i was in a daze. My body was doing what it was supposed to do. Stick with the group while we walked around visiting the different attractions, laugh with my friends. But my brain felt like mush. I was watching a first person movie, and i was the uncontrollable main character.
EXACTLY but weirdly it wasn't a new place for me ... I went to 6 flags with my best friends and it didn't feel like anything was real and my brain didn't wanna work. I tried to hold onto my friend to ground myself and the cold handlebars but it didn't work... I felt like that for a long time maybe an hour or so
I’m crying right now, I thought I was crazy or something and I felt alone. Thank you for this video, really, I realize I’m not alone and I feel a lot of relief simply knowing this.
I am crying too :( , i thought that i am going crazy or that something bad is happening with my brain, nobody really believe me, my friends don't even know what i am talking about when i tell them how bad i feel with this condition... but we are in this together! And we are enough strong to get rid of it.
i come back to this every once and awhile, cause i found this a few years ago when i was feeling this way and ever since then i haven’t felt so alone in this. thank you so much for making this apart of your platform. while i haven’t been able to see a professional, i’ve been able to speak to my parents about this which is a huge step for me. thank you so so much.
I have been absolutely floored by this video. I can’t believe one of my favourite artists also suffers with a dissociative disorder. I’m only 20 seconds into the video, and the moment you mentioned derealization I almost cried, because I’ve never been able to relate to anybody in some aspects with my DPDR (depersonalization/derealization disorder). I’ve only started seeing somebody other than my counsellor about it very recently, so it’s as if the stars aligned for this video to be uploaded. Thank you so much, Dodie. This video means a lot to me and the countless other unspoken sufferers of dissociative disorders. *Edit:* I made a short film on my channel earlier this year called Permanent Shadows, in which the main character dissociates from reality a couple of times throughout the course the film. Not a perfect depiction of the symptoms, and not what the film is primarily about but just something I feel is relevant.
I have OCD, anxiety, and a panic disorder and it's so great that Dodie is spreading he message and helping to "normalize" and de-stigmatize mental health and discussions about it
I ALWAYS explain it as feeling like I'm dreaming all the time. I've never heard anyone else say it feels like they're dreaming. This was in my recommended and I've never clicked a video so fast because this is so accurate. It's the scariest thing I've ever experienced and do experience everyday. I'm sorry you've had to suffer. It's frustrating.
NessyGames i started experiencing the feeling of “not existing” or not feeling myself in the moment ever since i was around 8 years old, i’m 15 now. But it doesn’t happen all the time, it has been getting better over time. But when i do feel that way i look at my hands and i just feel like i’m a ghost or something. My mom after a few years began being concerned about it and we called the doctor and i told them what my “symptoms” were and I’m not sure if she mention this condition along with anxiety. But is it a similar feeling?
Yes, mostly it feels like my emotions are dulled down. I don't feel real, I feel like I'm in a dream, everything including my memories is a bit of a blur, and I feel numb quite a lot. Everyone experiences things differently. It happens after being through something traumatic/multiple traumatic things and then your brain detaches and tries to protect you by essentially making you numb.
I connected with this video so much as well. Mine comes and goes. And the severity differs as well but when I’m not feeling there I literally can’t get out of bed. It messes with my mind so much! The only thing that helps me is when I get ultra focused on something in a quiet space( so like a RUclips video in the car or something) or sleeping. It sucks though I can’t even look in the mirror without this overwhelming feeling of that not being me. I had an episode I guess you can call it back a few years ago and I couldn’t stop crying. I went to my doctor and he told me I had allergies!! Now none of my family believes me and they think that I am a hypochondriac. But I have felt what you are feeling I know there isn’t something right with me but I feel like nobody will ever take me seriously.
Don’t be concerned. If you are concerned go see someone and get a bit more information about it. It’s nothing to be worried about, it’s ok. I don’t experience it but I know you’re not alone. It’s ok 👍😊
You should not, a lot of people experience this condition, it is due to anxiety and sometimes because of a lack of sleep! I felt this today, i was outside, it was horrible. Yesterday, before goind to sleep, i had an anxiety attack. It is due to overthinking, your brain practically just tries to protect you of your overthinking...
@Cosmo Boss Try to stop being so hard with yourself... honestly, you deserve better... stop overthinking and be more positive about life, you deserve it 💓
I just want to say thank you for sharing this with us. I fell exactly like you for 4 years now and I could never explain to myself or to the others what I was going through but now, thanks to you (and to my girlfriend that finds you) I can finally name this black beast that ruined my life for so long. I feel almost every sensations that you described in the book and I immediatly start crying and I'm crying right now while I'm writing this and I don't know why but i guess is for because I don't feel alone anymore. Thank you so much and I hope with all my heart that you can get better as soon as possible
Woaaah the descriptions were so good. During one really stressful final exam week, I experienced a bout of depersonalization that lasted a few hours. Thankfully, I managed to google my symptoms and discover what I was experiencing and why it was happening. I think that helped me come out of it (on top of the stressors being gone). It was a horrifying experience, and I can't imagine having it chronically. You are so so lovely, Dodie. Stay strong
I feel like when I district myself like tv or useing my phone keeps me from thinking about it. I find that the more you think about it the worse it gets, because once you forget about it you feel better but as soon as you remember it gets horrible and it's hard to get back to forgetting it
Same i think that life is a dream most of the time, but when i watch yt on my phone or play games or watch tv i forget that i was thinking about it..But when i just zome out i remember it (If ya'll know what i am trying to say) So if anyone of you guys think that life is a dream or anything like that, that is okay to think about it useally most ppl think about it and that is normal. U might cry about it or get stressed out about it or get kinda mad.. But that is okay! Sorry for my grammar qwq
@@xbunbunx9060 Hi! I hope you're doing well. You are right, it's ok to feel angry or sad or a little bit annoyed but feeling disconnect. But if it is interfering with you daily life, you should definitely see a mental health professional! It can be scary, and often it is a learning process; but is defensively worth it since we are taking about health, one of the most important things we have. Just like if we had a tummy ache that was recurrent and annoying we will go to the doctor to find out how to take care of it, we should do that with our minds. It is not "exaggerating" or "unimportant", it's your mind and you deserve getting guidance to make sure it's healthy, just like everything else. That's it, have a great day!
This is really comforting to me Most of the time I feel like I’m not actually living, I can’t remember where I went on vacation, I forget memories that I should remember (I went for skydiving once and I can’t remember anything), my thoughts get really messy and I can’t recognize myself anymore, and I’ve had multiple episodes where I had to stop myself in the middle of the road to do a reality check because my whole body felt numb Up until now I thought it was because of my depression, but I just realized that maybe it’s something more than that Thank you for bringing this up, I’m going to do more research about it and hopefully I can help myself now
You have no idea how happy this video makes me. I was extremely scared that I was going crazy or something when I began experiencing depersonalization and anxiety (including panic attacks) after this extremely stressful even in my life. Depersonalization was just such a scary state to be in. So hazy, feeling like you’re in autopilot. I had been seeing a therapist for depression but just tying to explain my depersonalization was the HARDEST thing ever and you did it so well! Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone/ going crazy!
You could be suffering from narcolepsy if you're chronically fatigued. That's much more likely than the condition which has been described in this video.
Alright, no offence to anyone but I don’t need strangers on the internet telling me what I do or do not/might or might not have. I’m currently seeking actual professional medical help.
I don’t have vision problems but I frequently feel like my brain is so muddled and that I am not myself. it’s more of a mental feeing than physical I guess. I have such a hard time feeling present EVER. I’m always seeking experiences that make me feel alive and real but I’m too tired to pursue them. idk what to do:/
Accept bordem. There's so much pressure from ourselves to be entertained all the time. What changed things for me is reading 'the suble art of not giving a fu*k' I really recommend that.
I feel the same!!! When I'm with people it's not so apparent to me but when I'm alone I feel like I'm floating around, and everything's a tiny bit out of focus in my brain but I can see everything fine
Hey. Mine was MUCH MUCH worse (disabling) after I tripped a ton of acid. I was stuck like that for 1-3 years but it DID go away. Most hallucinogenic effects like this (and weed is absolutely a hallucinogen) go away, so keep on truckin'.
@@SpecialBlanket I tried weed about a month ago after having a really strong dose and I felt completely numb and like I was in a constant dream and high state. The numbness is gone but everything feels like a dream still. I also get a ton of anxiety and would derealize in school. I'm trying to get Therapy
It must be really weird and tiring to have derealization all the time! I only feel this on anxiety attacks including sometimes depersonalization but all the time! you're so brave 💝 thank you for sharing it
Just passing by. I would highly recommend consulting someone, mate. One thing about self-diagnosis is that you might be wrong, which is what all the sceptics might reasonably tell you; another thing is that you might be right and thus you gotta go consult a specialist. I also have derealization and I remember thinking that it was all about my eyes, same as you, or that I just didn't get enough sleep. Now, after more than two years of being stuck here, I finally have a therapist and I'm working on this issue. I did try to cope on my own before, but without any guidance, it didn't work and in fact the disorder got worse over those years. So if you think you might have derealization (or any other kind of bullshit!), please try to find a therapist. Stay strong, man!
yeah same, my mom says its just allergies but idk since ive taken so much medicine and its been months at least (it started feeling like this last year)
I also agree with Alice Chester, please go get this tested out, as it could be something severe and you will never know till you try find out. Good luck and I hope its not really difficult. Peace and love
In middle school I suffered a lot from depersonalization and it got to bad I was actually hospitalized for two weeks because of basically a mental breakdown. I didn't know what was wrong with me and freaked the fuck out. Now I only get episodes maybe once a month and I've learned to cope with it. It's super scary going through life, not knowing what is wrong with you, or even how to describe it to doctors because you just don't know how. But once you're diagnosed, it's like a big weight that flies off of you, and you know that's the first step to getting better.
Hey uh, I have a a few questions. I am in middle school (grade 7) and I have experienced this since 5th grade but I managed to get rid of it for a couple of months. Every day is basically a living hell for me because I feel as if I am a spectator. Anyway, did you take medications for DPD/DRD? Right now I am currently undergoing the Child & Youth Mental Health Services and they recommended I join the anxiety groups. In conclusion, I feel so hopeless right now. I feel as if I'm never going to get cured. I just really want to get better so maybe if you could please go into detail about your journey to recovery?
Veronica J can I ask you something? I’m in high school and have been dealing with this for around 5 years, Nothing works for me, I have no idea how to wake up, no pressure of course but how did you learn to cope?
I honestly feel like crying watching this. I have felt these things and I always just thought it was my depression/anxiety. And every time I explained it to someone they look at me weird and say “I’m not eating or sleeping well” or “do some exercise” but even if I do it happens. This is the first time I have felt like I’m not going crazy or the only one that feels this way... thank you so much for this video. This means so much to me...
juliepoolie oh my god thats horrible! the counselor at my school said that shed talked to other students with derealization and helps me a lot. dont worry, there are so many people in the comments on this video and just in general that will love you and support you and help you and you are most definitely not insane.
I hate this feeling so much. I remember during the worst part of my life (when I was going through really bad anxiety) I felt just...wrong. I knew I was alive but I didn’t feel like I was the same person I’ve always been before. When I found out it was due to my anxiety everything made sense and sometimes I do still get these feelings but I’m happy to know that there’s a reason.
It's not real, someone is impersonating Dodie to post spam (or scam or attack) links. Happens to most big youtubers, sadly. Always be suspicious and assume a fake identity. Never click the link. If you want to verify someone's youtube identity, click on the avatar and check it is the right person. At least on PC, the uploading user has their name highlighted in all their comments.
it doesn’t happen a lot but sometimes i just stare for like a minute and i’m like “is this real?” like i could be staring at a family member or smth and disassociate idk it’s kinda hard to explain
It's so refreshing to have someone talking about this, I have never had anyone who truly understands what I am describing. This open dialogue has encouraged me to talk to my mom and get help. Thank you for all of this positive conversation!
Sophia Wilson your even on no views videos of her sure I'm sharing that I also watch them but your just impressive I even start to think you to is recommending videos you've commented on I'll see you as top to second comment even though you will have at most 10 likes XD
i remember 4 years back when i was 16, watching your videos, i couldnt imagine what it was like going through depersonalization and it was the first i have heard of this condition. eventually my mental health gotten worse to the point i actually developed depersonalization, and i was trying to remember who it was who i found the condition from. i have finally found you and i have got to say it really sucks to deal with this condition. it feels like im high without the high and it really makes me panic. i hope it has gotten well for you too
Disassociation is quite frankly one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever experienced. I have PTSD, and in high stress situations I’ll have episodes where I depersonalize or derealize, and the only way I’ve ever known how to describe it is that it feels like your astral projecting and yet your still expected to function like you’re inside your body. My episodes can last a few hours, but I can’t imagine how it would feel to have an episode and never be able to come out of it. Props to you for sharing something like this, especially when it’s so difficult to explain to others who’ve never felt it.
Abi Wilson While I can't understand what you are going through just know that others dont have to be able to understand in order to help you. If nobody you know is able to help with this right now just know that sooner or later you will meet someone or someone's who will be able to make you more comfortable and happy. I'm proud of you for getting through your life regardless of the struggle. Because that is true strength. Stay strong :)
For me, my disassociation comes for months at a time. I’m lucky that at least it isn’t all the time and it does vary. When I am in a episode, they are strong. I find it feels like I’m just watching a movie and my body moving isn’t really me. It is terrifying. I find making/hearing noise tends to calm me. Especially with repetitive noises, I.e a heat pump or talking or rain
the first time i watched this i cried tbh. i didnt know this was a thing until this video and i thought i was insane or something. this video is rad and im happy you made it
I have a condition (well it’s not really a condition) where I can’t tell if my memories is a memory or a dream since my memory isn’t very good and my dreams are too realistic. It’s very disorienting because I never know when I reminisce about something if it even ever happened or did I dream about it. The dreams that I have feel like memories so I have no idea.
Despicable Penguin this happens to me sometimes and will mix up reality and dreams. Like ill just remember something but cant remember if it happened or not and im aware im tripping
Thank you for talking about this! I don't have the same exact thing as you but I also struggle with derealization/depersonalization especially when stressed, and it sucks. For me it's a cloudy feeling and sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm here, pouring myself water, or watching a movie, or doing whatever I'm doing. I appreciated this video because it opened my eyes to other symptoms people can have and made me feel less alone.
ANYONE ONE ELSE FEEL LIKE THIS : too derealised to talk to your therapist. I walk in and simultaneously faded out of my own body and yet im sitting there and saying im in pain, expressing all that's happened in recent weeks but looking at them, they look bored and annoyed and i realise that all this time my mouth wasnt moving. When it finally does move i end up muttering 'im fine' but they know im not, they just dont know what they can do to help as i cant say it. If ur having this problem, take a notepad in with with and write down ur thoughts as u think them before they run out of ur mind. What u could also do is write a list of feelings in a notepad and when in therapy, point to whichever one ur experiencing - once u start the conversation, it becomes easier to hold on to reality. If something really painful or sensitive comes up remember - u r as real as u want to be and so is the room ur in, the world u r in and the mind u OWN. U arent a slave to it, u just have to learn how to be good roommates :) hope this helps someone. Love to u all❤💜💙
Janai P thank you so much, this is great advice. I haven’t had a ton of problems talking to my therapist, in fact I’m saying more than I ever have, but even then there are a million thought that spring up that never leave my head. It helps a ton to think of your mind as a roommate and not a window you look through, to think of the world as just as real as you are, I really really appreciated this comment. Thank you again.
Hey dodie, if net neutrality ends up being repealed in the US, I just wanted to say how much you’ve helped me this past year. It breaks my heart when I think of not ever getting to listen to your music or watch your videos in the same way ever again. Your videos and songs have kept me afloat when I felt like drowning, and I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for you. Thank you so much, you’ve helped me feel again. You’ve helped me figure myself out and made me laugh and cry in the best ways. If by any chance you see this, and if net neutrality ceases to be, goodbye.
Rebecca Ogden I'm so sorry..but I don't think this is the end. People are so outraged at this that I don't think it'll last long. But maybe not. And I hope that maybe you'll be able to watch her still, it mostly depends on your internet provider..
SAME!!! I've been dealing with this since I was in 4th grade and always wrote it off as an anxiety attack but it never fully felt as though it was an anxiety attack. This is all so new to me!
Same! I just ignored it. I just figured I was weird or something. I didn’t even feel particularly anxious during these times either that’s why I didn’t question it.
I’ve dealt with this ever since I was a kid. I’m glad you posted this video. I’m in college now, and the feeling gets so intense that Im starting to get heart palpitations now. It’s literally the worst feeling in the world. My whole day feels like a dream, and I have one or multiple panic attacks a day. It’s literally killing me :/
boltoms oh my I am dealing with something very similar! I have tachycardia, heart palpitations, panic attacks and I feel like I'm dreaming a lot. I feel like I'm dying a lot. It's hard. Meditation and yoga has helped me.
it sounds like you are realizing you are a body. the body itself ..as all its senses, is an anchor of familiar patterns. death is the ultimate unfamiliar pattern. so its all related. come to accept that you are going to still be thinking while dying.. whenever that comes. its possible to realize that the brain is not the arm..leg..or the associsted sensations. its an information processing system..pattern matcher. we cling to comfort. but everyone dies. its just a ruder awakening for those who dont see their body and their brain/sense integrator/center of thought in true perspective
no matter how hard things get, one thing that always gets me through the most difficult times in my life is prayer, which ever God you pray to, sometimes when we go through these kind of things, we rlly don’t have to keep it to ourselves and if we aren’t comfortable talking to another person, then please don’t forget God is always there. Prayer heals. Depression, Anxiety or whatever it is that’s bothering you
If you are suffering from a mental health problem, DON'T GIVE UP ON TREATMENT! Treatment is very personal, so it can take time to find what works for you. Hang in there! Don't give up! You are a strong, valid human being.
i’ve watched this video so many times and always recommend it to people because of how you describe it. it brings a sense of comfort knowing it not a lone even if it feels like it
To me when it's really bad it feels excactely as if I'm stuck in a video game. It feels as if I'm this tiny person stuck in the back of my mind, looking through eyes that aren't mine, trying to control this body that isn't mine, and talk to friends that I haven't made. I don't feel like me at all, and I honestly don't feel anything beside constant panick. It feels like I'm stuck in a different dimension than everyone else, as if I'm the only person in the world. Everything looks 2D and there are way to many sounds and colors, that all seem so distant and unreal yet way way too much to take in. My sense of time and place is so fucked up, and my memory gets so bad, and I just feel like I've gone absolutely mad. I have no control over my body, i am so overly concious of every single movement I make, and i don't feel capable of feeling anything but distress. I just fucking want to go back to the real world, and I want my actual self to come back.
berNII-SAN awwwwwww stay strong and keep on fighting u will break free one day soon just dont give up even tho its soooo bloody hard but always remember its ur body its ur mind and its ur life even if it doesn't feel that way now thier still URS and u will feel the way u used to!!! Stay strong ur not alone!!! Gl xxx
SAME. I feel like I'm a tiny person operating a robot inside the robot's head. (I think there was a Fairly Odd Parents episode like that... and a Doctor Who one? It's a pretty common TV trope I think.) Like my mind and body are disconnected or fake or something. I also am just acutely aware of my own existence, yet at the same time paranoid that nothing is really as it seems and I'll wake up from a dream at any moment. It causes me a lot of anxiety as well. I don't really relate to Dodie's descriptions of her symptoms but I can't think of what else it would be besides derealization or depersonalization.
Sometimes I feel as if I can’t grasp myself. As if I’m watching a stranger live her life and she very rarely asks me what she should do next. Living in a theatre watching my life go by has been my reality ever since I can remember. Sometimes time stops and suddenly everything is too sharp and real. These are my peeks into reality, and they are quite frightening. Being spaced out isn’t so bad, it’s actually helped me through a lot, given I can’t fully experience some emotions. Dodie, you’ve helped me see that I’m not alone. I’ll always and forever be genuinely in love with you. ❤️
It's Just Kayla I understand, I often feel lile i'm floating anf that i'm not really here. I'm just watching a young teen ponder about life and death. Constantly spaced out and forgets things within a minute...
Damn you summed up my feeling perfectly. It really is like I’m watching some random person live their life and all of the people around me aren’t real. Describing it as time suddenly stops is so real to me and it’s like everything is honed in on only me. Sometimes it feels like I can see myself walking from a distant point of view too.
thank you so much for making this in such a positive way! it is so nice to have somebody talking about mental health without all of the taboo and shame that normally comes along with it. i am in no way saying that mental health should be glorified, but seeing somebody so positive in such a hard time is really refreshing. good job dodie
God, I've been feeling like this on and off since probably midway through quarentine, and you were right, knowing I'm not alone really is pretty comforting. Its so. Frustrating to feel like Im not myself, because I generally LIKE being myself! It makes me feel broken. But this video is kind of helping me feel... idk less broken. Less like this constant feeling is going to ruin my life. Ive recently started like, actually looking for help stopping it and this video existing is just so, *so* comforting. Jesus this is getting rambly but just. Thank you.
so basically i sometimes feel like dodie feels.... but not the same . lemme explain. for example when i am sitting in class / random time of the day i suddenly realize that i am in this world i am me , but as of before i felt like i was watching a move thru the point of view of someone else or playing a game and controlling the character and i feel like my bran just flew out of my head................its really weird. if someone experiences this please tell me xD
a_cat_on_top_of_a_cat this sounds like depersonalisation! My experience with this is like watching life through the eyes of someone else with no proper control over what they're doing, even though I know it's actually myself. The way I look + sound doesn't feel right, and my emotions don't seem to be mine, almost like I can't truly experience them. If you look up depersonalisation and any of that seems familar you might want to speak to your doctor!
Same, I also feel that since a kid! I vividly remember when I was 7 or 8 years old, at school, standing in a queue with my classmates and having that episode in such a strong way. I have it really frequently, knowing I'm a person, realizing that I am indeed someone, that I have feelings like everyone has, that I have genes, chromosomes, ascendents, realizing I'm someone who has digitals, that I CAN be recognized in a crowd, that I experience desires, I have a perception -- just like everyone in the world... It makes me feel so weird.
It's so weird realizing I'm living life in first person, I, me, seeing through my eyes, and I'm not doing that in third person, he, him, his life, his desires, it's MY life, like...???? It's so so so weird, the world is like a big simulation and perceiving I am not doing things as seeing "from outside" feels so strange it makes me want to cry
Oh my gosh. I literally get this feeling all the time. It is most common with a combination of light changes and stressful situations. Ex. walking from outside into church triggers it, walking into brightly lit stores, going somewhere I haven’t been in a while, bonfires, etc. It’s so odd and I’ve talked to my parents about it but they don’t take it seriously because they’ve never felt it before, and I don’t know what to do.
I experience the new environment thing and the light thing really really badly. Its so frustrating having to explain to people why I cant stay in certain brightly lit rooms for a long time. No one really seems to take it seriously
Connie the thing with mental illness/any psychological condition really is that most people don’t seem to understand that it is not something you choose to feel, or could just will away, but it’s completely involuntary the same as if you have a muscular condition that makes your shoulder hurt if someone pinches it
I remember when I was around 8 years old and I looked at my mom and said, "are you real? is this real?" and she got scared I was showing signs of early onset psychosis, but I was just going through derealization. It's so difficult to socialize during it because I feel like an alien masquerading as a human in an ill fitting skin suit. Everything feels like almost like a stimulation. It's not as jarring/scary as it was for me when I was a kid, but I think it's mostly because it's become my "normal".
Thanks for teaching me something new, it is quite interesting and im sorry you have that. I do recognize the forgetting everything part (and trying to not forget by taking pictures and writing everything i think down.) I actually dont remember anything under the age of 8. I had derealisation a few times but it was when I was tired and stress
Wimsem - Tekenen & Knutselen your comments are literally all over youtube, I see you all the time while I’m scrolling through the comments 😂 no hate or anything just a remark haha😘 ik ben ook nederlands btw
I don't remember my childhood either, or at least it's very foggy for me. This is a symptom of my BPD, which it may or may not be for you, who knows, but it is called dissociative amnesia. x
And got episodes of this a couple months back. I was super depressed and my anxiety was awful. I couldn’t function as a normal human being. I was injured for 4 months (I just got back to physical activity 3 weeks ago) and my mental state was deteriorating. I have thyroid problems so I had to go on medication for that, and then came a kinda steroid medication for my injury which triggered the episodes. I felt like I was never really alive and was just floating from the high dosage of medication. After being taken off of them for that reason, I kept having these episodes. My anxiety was just getting worse and worse until I finally got medicated for that. The episodes remained for a couple days as my body adjusted to the burst of medication entered my system and stopped for awhile. I was recently upped on the dosage for my anxiety and I dealt with the readjusting and the derealization episodes for three days or so. I don’t remember much, but it was during thanksgiving and my mom read me old stories from my great grandmother so I didn’t have to be in my own head for awhile. I can say I still get small episodes here and there but I am finally feeling alive and worthy again. If you feel hopeless and scared as I was, just get through. I promise you there is help out there and you will find it. I believe in you and I know you will be okay. Thanks for reading this incredibly long comment and I’m so glad to finally feel like I have a life again.
It's very weird that I happened to just stumble across this video now. I have these kind of feelings a lot, and I notice it especially at my job. Like my surroundings feel like a dream. And it's odd because I don't experience high stress at my job but it's definitely where I notice it the most. Maybe because that's when I'm most consumed by my own thoughts? I do a lot of thinking at work whether it's about absolute random-but-connected nonsense or whether I'm doing some critical thinking.. I'm very in my own head at work.. and then I'll kind of take a step out of my thoughts and try to take in my surroundings and everything feels so disengaged. All the sounds blend together. Almost like if I reached up to my face I would find I was wearing a pair of virtual reality goggles and I could take them off. Like even though I'm standing and moving around at work, I feel like I'm sitting down and watching myself do it from somewhere else. This got way too personal but this video definitely hit a personal part of me.
Duuuddeee, reading this was soo eerie!!! It was like reading a passage from my notebook, this is exactly how I feel, damn. I mean my job is moderately chill too, I just work the longest goddamned hours, sometimes I think that interferes too, that disarraying moment in which all the conversations and silverware movements shift into one clusterfuck of aushaushtinktinkaush and I can't tell any sounds apart from each other anymore. Honestly, all I fucking do is work so sometimes I also think I'm living in my mind due to lack of speaking with people, like I'm dealing with customers all the time but it's very automatic and simulated, very superficial living, I guess I can't even say I'm living in my mind as much as it seems that I'm standing beside myself, like I can't be bothered to occupy my own body lol Anyway, this got waaay too personal too. How do you get yourself to snap out of it?
This couldn't be more accurate to how I feel on a regular basis. Especially at work! Feels so good to know that I'm not the only person who gets this, thought I was going crazy at first. This video and the comments have made me feel sooo much better about it!
Sometimes I have to look down at my legs and rally concentrate on every footstep whilst I'm walking to try to convince myself that I am actually walking at that present time.
I have only ever experienced this type of thing while having a paranoia-based Panic Attack from being waaaaaay too high. Or just normally high with an over-whelming, stressful thought added. Or maybe it had nothing to do with being high, but since I have never experienced THAT shit Sober, I will gladly just blame it on being too high. I can't imagine living life like that all the time. Them handful of "life is a dream" moments are way more scary than the scary "real life" shit I know for a fact happened, because yeah, at least there's comfort in not questioning everything that's happening in "that" moment. The only Advice normal me now would give the me freaking out in that moment is: in the end, you're the only person that could be in control of it, and therefor you're the only person that can put an end to it.
i feel like i'm always in a video game? like when you're controlling the character and the other people are just kind of around you and they're just NPCs and you can kind of hear them but not really and i'm the character and everyone else is just part of the game.
Kshithi Dilip thank u, they told me they couldn't do anything tho and that i just have to "try not to think about it" like what am i supposed to do with that lmao
Every once in a while, I only look at what I call the "surface" of life. Everything beyond a few feet in front of me is blurred and distorted. I feel as though I am floating, and I can't move correctly. I get in the way of people and feel stuck there. It's hard to get back to viewing the world like other people. I get all spacey and everything around me is blurred. I have no idea why it happens, but it's been on my mind for a while and I wanted to express myself. Thanks.
I can’t believe so many people actually are experiencing this. Really. I first experienced this around 10 or 11 and the feeling was so foreign. I didn’t even know how to describe it and I genuinely thought I was the only person in the world feeling like that. I am 16 now and chronically for over 5 years I have been dealing with derealization and only a few years ago I discovered the name and that others have it. I feel calmer knowing what it is and that I am not alone, but at the same time I am sad many others have to suffer with it. I am pretty much experiencing it day in and day out so I am desensitized to it, but i hate that it is still there and won’t go away. I am so grateful that Dodie has made a video opening up about it because we really do need more awareness of this condition. I hope very much that a treatment is developed soon for it too.
Had this for 1.5 years since I was 16. I'm 18 now. More derealization than depersonalization. I've gotten used to it, so it isnt as bad as it used to be, but it's still there. Hang in there, Kawaii Kat. Hmu if you need someone to talk to: 571-429-1315
da da thank you so much for responding to me. I have talked to people online about it before and I found that it helped me feel less anxious about it and even lessened my derealization’s intensity, so thank you for giving me the chance to reach out to you and if I ever need to talk I’ll definitely give you a call! 😄
I have moments when I look in a mirror and I’m just convinced that’s not me. Like dead on ‘oh god what that’s a different face now’. I don’t have this condition, just that one last symptom you described, so its horrifying to hear people who feel like that all the time. Stay strong, guys. The world needs you ♥️
joschcline Not necessarily. I've had this feeling as well but it's very rare and it only lasts for a few seconds max, so I don't think in this case it's actual depersonalization, more like mini dissociative episodes.
Has happened to me since I was a kid. Looking directly at myself in the mirror always brings on a very distressed feeling of not knowing myself. Very strange.
Same happens to me. I'll look in the mirror and just stare, like it's not really me. It's so weird. Weed doesn't help when I'm in my paranoia depersonalization mode.
This comment is going to disappear under a lot of others, but I wanted to tell you that I heard your song "in the middle" in a store here in France, I so was so supprised ! But I had a lot of fun singing in public one of your songs, it was so weird ! ^^
Pls like this so she’ll see it!! It could really help her!! Dodie i really hope you‘ll read this because i‘ve been suffering from exactly this for a few years and have finally figured out what it was and how to „treat“ it! And the thing is: this constant brain fog and feeling of drunkness 24/7 is not a mental condition per se, but a way of your body not being able to function properly due to health condition! I mean clearly i don’t know your life and the mental health aspects could be part of it too. But my mental health problems like depression or this depersonalization went away completely since i’ve been working on healing the ‚physical’ things. The first things i was diagnosed with was severe Vitamine D deficiency... reading up on it, the symptoms include brain fog and depression and ever since ive been substituting it its been so so much better! The next big thing, that really really made the difference was finding out i have Histamine Intolerance!! Histamine is the Protein in your body that is responsible for allergic reaction, but a lot of foods contain it as well. When you have Histamine intolerance your body can‘t digest and get rid of the excess histamine from food and it builds up in your body, causing all kinds of problems like: itchy eyes and skin, a runny nose, headaches and : a lot of mental issues. an excess of histamine can block the serotonin receptors in your brain, causing depression and depersonalization! figuring out my diet and these problems were directly connected to my mental health and what ive been going through was a long journey but i have been free of both ever since i‘ve adapted to a histamine free diet. i really suggest you give it a try for 2-3 weeks ( maybe even longer) and see how you feel! it will seem very limiting at first ( it is ngl) but i‘d rather have a limited diet than live in a dream 24/7. there are some good resources out there for histamine free eating ( the histamine free chef for example). so i suggest you read up on it! i am almost 100% sure this is whats causing your problems too... oh and btw, for me my problems with this have also started when i left puberty at around 17 or 18. a lot of people start to develop histamine intolerance at that age because of the hormonal shifting. i really hope you‘ll 1) see this and 2) read up on it and give it a try .... i usually never write comments on videos but i wanted to share what ive learned over the past couple of years
also if anyone else thats going through this has any questions or needs some advice please feel free to ask me. seeing all those people here that have been feeling exactly like i have for years is quite overwhelming. i always thought i was alone with this and never talked to anyone about this. the times that i did, people didnt understand. i really hope i can maybe help some people with what ive learned so far
Because I have never experienced or known anyone with Dodie's condition, I'm not going to confirm that it works for that, but I do agree that things like depression and constant tiredness can be very possibly due to Vitamin D deficiency. For months my mom just laid in bed, sleeping until late in the afternoon, had very low motivation, and was severely depressed. My dad didn't know how to treat it at first, and I didn't know about it, so it carried on. Then, about two months ago, she went for a general checkup at the doctor, who took blood samples. Everything was completely normal and healthy, until they got to the Vitamin D part. Ideally, a regular person's Vitamin D level should be about 20-50 (20 being very low, but still sort of in the safe zone). My mom's was 7. The thing is that my family isn't so keen on going out in the sun a lot if we can help it, which is bad on its own (we found that my dad and I are Vitamin D deficient as well). Sun definitely helps, and you are required to get full sun for about 10-20 minutes in the afternoon (the darker your skin, the longer you must stay in the sun). Food isn't a good enough source for the vitamin, so it's either sun or a supplement. My mom and dad are taking Vitamin D3 supplements once a week, and we all can see the improvements. My mom has finally gotten a regular sleeping pattern and her depression has improved tremendously. I'm not in any way saying that the cause of depression is definitely and always a Vitamin D deficiency, but it is worth checking out your physical health just in case. After all, that awfully cheesy saying of, "A healthy body makes a healthy mind," is actually quite often true.
Adding on to this, any number of sleep disorders may also be the cause of the fatigue and depression you're talking about. I have narcolepsy, and the 5 years of my life in which I went undiagnosed are a complete blur. I actually clicked on this video because "I feel like I'm dreaming all the time" really resonates with me considering that time and when I get tired even now: often times nothing feels quite real, and for some people, hallucinations can be quite serious. I can relate to your mom: months just lying in bed, sleeping until late in the afternoon on the weekends and through all my classes during school, no motivation, severely depressed. I wish I had the following to make my own PSA, as it's estimated that 75% of people with narcolepsy don't know that they have it. Hoping someone who needs to see this does...
This could be true in some cases, but traumatic events often cause depersonalization derealization disorder. I've had it for 5 years and see a therapist for it. Stress and trauma trigger episodes of dpd. A big percentage of Americans will experience 1-2 episodes in there life time statistically and this disorder is rather common. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand but that does not mean depersonalization is only caused by physical disorders.
I’ve had it since I was about 11 years old and it really does suck. I don’t talk to anyone about it in my life because up until this point I didn’t know how to describe it without sounding like a total lunatic. The only words I could think of to describe it were “I feel like everything isn’t real” even though I KNOW it’s real because when I was younger everything appeared much more vivid and alive, instead of this view of dullness that I see things in right now. I operate and move sort of like a robot...I have this cycle and I just keep following this pattern over and over again...everyday, as if I work in some factory. It’s really depressing, but I just ignore and deal with it because I don’t know what I can do to solve it or “cure” it. Seriously, I miss the days where I could enjoy the times where me and my family gathered together for the holidays, and the joy/sensation you get from opening a present.
I watched this video when you first put it out and now I’m watching it again because I finally just got this as a diagnosis being linked to a current one and it’s just answered so many of my questions, thank you, it’s so nice to not feel alone in such a scary thing like this
![ATEEZ(에이티즈) - [GOLDEN HOUR : Part.2] Preview](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/X4PfgRPBUVo/mqdefault.jpg)
I often feel like I’m observing the world and the people around me as if I’m not physically there, if that makes sense
Omgosh same here!!!
I feel the same while writing thisss. I pinch myself during school because I want to try and realize that I am awake. I got it around 1 year ago at school and I literally couldn't think straight or just do anything. It was a struggle for me to learn for a while but like I felt very confused most of the time. It disappeared for a while then came back during school (I am in school now, started school about 3 days ago now). I realized that bright lights make me really light headed and causes me to be more in a dream, it's confusing and I don't umderstand. I had mental break downs about it during school last year because I really felt that I wasn't alive. My emotions would be crying but my thoughts and eyes are a whole new thing.
yes !! exactly !!
Pretty sure thats called being an introvert
That’s derealisation / depersonalisation I guess , I have it too but don’t want to open up about it to my family and stuff just because I’ve had it as long as I can remember and so I’m learning to just deal with it .
I'm so thankful that derealization is getting more attention. Its TERRIFYING.
Had it since i was 9 and im 25 now. NON STOP 😭 sometimes i think im dead or in a coma and one day i will wake up
There's no treatment in my country..
:/
i remember telling a therapist 3 years ago when i was 15 that if still had dpdr by the time i was 18 then id kill myself.. i still have dpdr but im still here i guess lol
I thought it was just me, I didn't know this is even exit, i thought it just in my mind, this is even hard to explain to someone, I having this since i was 14 years old and now I am 29, this is get worse when i am afraid. is there any medicine for this ?
if you don't have this, it's not cool or fun. it's a living hell
i've had this thought a few times and then i just had an existential crisis
yeah it's definitely not fun
its horrible, not fun at all
Welp i think that life is a dream.
Like i am dead and now I'm in a diferent world if ya'll get it.
Its soo fricking horrible and kinda creepy when u really think about it.Or sometimes i think that i am the only one who is real and all the people around me are fake...
It's a horrible feeling..
So if anyone knows how to stop this PLEASE tell me..
fr, its painful. you wake up everyday hoping you feel real, and you dont
@@willowowen5160 yup that's the bad thing
I have never felt so connected to anyone in my life, this was scary to me how accurate this is to my life right now. I feel you girl, thank you for this
That description at 2:50 actually sounds more typical of a hypotensive episode, lying outside in the warm sun then standing up and walking, the visual symptoms are typical of postural hypotension, very common in younger people.
It makes it so difficult to learn anything or create anything! I feel nothing 95% of the time and just floating through life. Mine doesn't feel like a dream but like my life is a movie happening through my eyes.
i feel the same-- i've never been able to completely explain it, but "life is a movie happening through my eyes" is really accurate to me as well
@@megsnicolec I wish you good luck on your journey through life.
This is a pretty awful handicap but we just have to hope it can be treated one day!
It's probably really common to be misdiagnosed as depressed, many can't comprehend the emptiness we feel. No happiness, but no sadness either, true limbo.
It's thought to be caused by extreme emotional stress, and you can randomly "come back" at any time. 🤞
lauren yh imagine having this, being type 1 diabetic and having mental problems and family members who have passed.
lauren and having exams. 😔
me too
Does anyone ever have to be constantly telling them selves it's not a dream and it's reality?
Francisco Vergara yessssss it’s so scary cause I afraid I’m actually asleep and I my life is just a dream
Your okay! U are in reality just keep telling yourself self that your mind doesn't take over your life!!
Yes
I thought I was just high but yesh
I never knew it had it name. I just thought ok I'm just having an episode. I'd always called it a disassociative episode.
whoopsie doopsie I'm not gonna self diagnosie but it's time to go to a doctorosie
^^^^ do not click that, it's not real
doddlevloggle how does this work?
Fallen Poet its not real don't fall for it!!
What happens if you click on it? Asking for a friend
It's fake and could steal your information.
i sometimes can’t tell my memories and dreams apart. I can’t tell if i’m sleeping or awake and the amount of deja vus i’m having is a painful lot. I forget things i said or thought seconds after doing so and it’s so scary because i DONT KNOW what it is.
www.carolynspring.com/blog/feeling-unreal-depersonalisation-derealisation-disorder/
Saame cuz one time i was talking to my sister about all the dumb stuff we used to do as kids and i told her about this one time when i did this and that and bla bla bla it was just a memory i had but then she told me that she didn't remember that and she told me that it (the 'memory') probably never happened because if it did she would have remembered it (she's older than me) and it was just a dream or smth and it really messed me up that day cause i was thinking (how many of my other memories and fake? How can i tell which is real and which isn't ?)
Also i can't remember half my childhood in the first placeso i was really sad bc i thought i wasted my whole childhood :/
Srry if there is any typos of if this text is too long or if it dosn't make sense bc i was typing this at the speed of light
Practicing deep breathwork as Wim Hof breathing. It s magical how it does reconnect you in minutes
@@srisra_br9o9a Omg yes!!! this is what happens to me too… I can’t even process the dreams I have half the time I can’t differentiate memories, thoughts, and feelings are so paralyzed… faint! I can’t remember my childhood, let along remember what I even said.. Sometimes I feel like I have no control of my emotions like if I blurt something absurd out i’m like shoot ! I can’t remember it feels like to feel whole again… personality is everywhere ! the self is disrupted foreal!
@@luceromoreno9081 Yes! yes! yes! You can’t even feel yourself dreaming ? let alone sleep….? when your sleeping it’s like your dead? … when your awake your partially dead??? hmmmm only someone with this would understand me
Thank you for talking about this! I don’t experience derealisation, however, it helps me understand it a lot better. I appreciate you talking about mental illness’ since it helps people who experience these types of things
Emma N. ARMY
Biased Hello : )
OMFG ARMYYYYYYYYY
Imaari shut up
Imaari Hii
*when i read the title i was like YEAH FINALLY IM NOT THE ONLY ONE*
chaexic Me too
YASSS
legit, shits so hard to explain .
Woeful Warlock sameee my friends think im crazy lol
I have this condition too I’m young and it popped up randomly and I trying to get treatment
Thank you for describing derealisation in such a mature way, that really helped me, as someone who does not experience derealisation (but does suffer from depression and social anxiety), understand what it is like to experience derealisation. Thank you dodie.
I also suffer from depression and social anxiety but I have slight feelings of derealisation and Dodie described it so well xx
I’ve had this since elementary school and never realized it was a real thing. I used to have it every once and a while and now it’s everyday, it’s almost like living in a vr video game for me like it’s like you’re not actually there, you’re seeing everything but you don’t think you’re there. Everything feels too bright and everywhere I go I have to remind myself i’m alive and pinch myself to make sure i’m here
exctly the same for me
Oh my god, I just tried to explain to my sister the SAME exact thing! I feel like my “real” body is outside of myself and what I’m seeing is just a vr headset game. It’s super scary. Fluorescent lights tend to make it worse for me
@@828vee YES same. For some reason bright lights in stores when it’s dark outside bothers me the most. But yeah it’s a horrible feeling
@@briellejade._yes bright lights, especially the one at Walmart are almost too intense for me
I feel this too... the only problem is, I have chronic itching due to eczema, so pinching myself is about equivalent to how hard I scratch myself on the daily, and so I just end up with that persistent feeling and bleeding spots all over my back and arms...
I appreciate your openness and honesty regarding this topic. Mental illnesses outside of depression and anxiety are rarely talked about in detail and there is still so much stigma around it. I really appreciate this video.
MinistressForMagic same here. I’ve never heard of this condition before, so it’s great to learn about it from someone who can explain what it feels like to them.
MinistressForMagic same, I have depression and ADHD and RUclips and Reddit have been way more helpful than my doctors and therapist. We need more research on all of this.
Then you clearly do not even know about depression and anxiety. It is very common to have derealization with those disorders. It's basically a symptom of those disorders.
isn't derealization caused by anxiety and depression?
it is hard for many people to describe the symptoms they feel. and it is scary to tell others as fear that they might not be understood and they don't realize that many many many others feel the same
xoxXOXO l Also, depression and anxiety are unfortunetaly "so" represented that they end up being wildly misunderstood still, like people having an image of panic attacks in class from movies whereas for me it's much more like feeling like drowning and forgetting something hugely important at ALL times...
Disassociation/derealisation is the brains way of pulling you away from trauma !!!! I feel you so much, dodie. I’m sorry you go through this on a daily, but one day you are going to be a new woman where this is so much less of a reality and you will experience things with the vividity you did as a teenager, but it will be so much better because you will be a grown up woman who has known pain and will appreciate the experiences so much more !!! LOVE YOU STAY STRONG!
Dana Taylor ❤️
This makes me feel confident. Thanks, even if you were talking to Dodie 😂💗
Dana Taylor at least we're not alone
I burst into tears watching this I had no idea other people felt like this. Thank you for making this video it is incredibly validating to know I’m not alone
Nicole Winters Same here.
Me too :D
Me too :)❤️
I started crying as well. I’ve been sick for the past 5 years (it all started after a bad car wreck and PTSD) but the foggy/spacey/dreamy feeling has been more present this past year. I’ve been to so many doctors, had counseling (for awhile), gone to my psychiatrist, had eyes checked, gone to neurologist and had testing done, trying to sort things out yet somehow, other things kept popping up. I never thought that the dreamy feeling I was experiencing was valid, or that I was actually feeling it. ‘Maybe it was just a bad day, a bad week, a bad month,’ I kept telling myself. But it wasn’t. What I’m feeling is valid and real, even if everything else feels unreal. And watching this incredible video proved that. I found such an immense sense of comfort and of calmness after watching this video. I told my mom and we’re going to schedule an appointment with my counselor, to sort everything out, and then hopefully begin finding the best kind of treatment for me.
None of us are alone in this fight that we call life (I’m felling very poetic at the moment lol muh bad) and we can all find comfort with the incredible (and definitely real) people around us. Hope that you’re doing better, after finally knowing that you are definitely NOT alone💗💗
Me too
I'm coming back to this video now, years after first watching it, to let you know this was the first place I ever heard the word "depersonalization" after suffering with it quietly all through high school. I am 22 now and I am coping much better. Thank you for making the decision to talk about this; your channel became a safe space for me because of this video.
I know exactly what you mean, in hindsight I'd been dissociating for years, but only for a few hours/a day? at most. I came back to watch this video as I'm now over a month deep into the worst episode yet. It comes in waves and is lessening down (I hope), but I remember practically nothing of September. Probably for the best as what I vaguely remember happening is whatever I told other people and the idea of multiple panic attacks in a day must not have been pleasant for me. On the plus side, Wake Me Up When September Ends now has a whole new meaning to me.
Do you ever experience lucid dreams?
@@Badass_Brains a ton. And sleep paralysis.
I think sleep paralysis can be quite frightening@@Sophiamaria457
i watched it for the first time right at the start when i was experiencing it but because my symptom was everything looking sharper instead of dreamier like hers, I denied it and spent 4 years basically lying to myself. Feels relieving now that I have the words to describe it!
i was diagnosed with this about two or three years ago because i had just lost my sister to suicide and i blamed myself for it and our situations are similar in the way we experience it. as for your suggestions for helping with it, i think i might try the tmsing as well as taking that vitamin as i haven't done those yet. also thank you for posting about this because i am glad that i am not alone!
-
TIPS:
- i like to remind myself that im present by always keeping a journal with me and reading all the notes my friends have written to me and most of the time it does the job.
- every so often i get up and do some streched.
- also, have someone hug you or touch you in an uplifting way!
- of course, always try to think positively!
hoshijoo I’m so sorry thank you
hoshijoo people using my name in conversations and touching my shoulder is so helpful! Also warm things like hot showers and steamy soup. The same with really cold things like ice water. Doesn't fix it totally but it makes the world a little brighter! Thanks for the tips!
hoshijoo :( ♡
I'm so sorry about your sister. Weirdly enough, I started dissociating after I also lost my sister to complications due to a suicide attempt (also two years ago) -- it can feel very isolating and scary. But you're right, you're not alone.
When dodie talked about it... it's weird because I felt so many of these things before like sometimes my vision used to go black (and thinking back to it it was when I was really stressed out also) I remember one time I looked in the mirror and it didn't look like myself... like I knew I was looking at me but I didn't recognized myself like something was off and I can't explain why. And I 100% remember like last year and 2 years ago I felt like I wasn't thinking correctly like I didn't feel grounded at all. I forgot about everything and if became hard to think correctly? I really don't know how to explain not thinking correctly. It's like my brain wasn't organizing experiences and thoughts correctly. Idk I'm not saying I have this condition because it doesn't happen to be a lot but I remember experiencing some of these things before
I can’t thank you enough for making this. When I clicked your video, I was hopeful but doubtful that you’d be talking about what I’ve been experiencing. Halfway through, I burst into tears. I’ve been feeling so scared and alone this past year, because no one I talk to seems to understand it.
I’m an organized, motivated, extroverted person and when these derealization spells hit, it’s like I’m PRETENDING to be all of those things. Doing ordinary tasks is overwhelming. Conversations are like climbing a mountain. And my memory is completely shot- short term and long term.
Again, thank you so much for talking about this. I feel better already just knowing I’m not alone. And to anyone else feeling this way, remember to take a moment to breathe and be kind to yourself ❤️
I started crying too, I'm not sure I have depersonalization, but it seems close. I try to keep conversations alive to feel grounded or I completely lose track of time and get lost in thought, or even just blank for a bit. I really hope nothing is wrong with me and that this is normal teenager stuff.
omg this is literally like reading my own thoughts!
alyciadweeb oh god I’m so glad I’m not alone holy hell. Peace and love to all of you
alyciadweeb exactly, and time goes by so quickly it’s like you’re already living in the past. You look back at the day and don’t remember doing half the things you did
I am the same way!! Extroverted and motivated. At first I thought the disosiation was very interesting, just once in a while, but then it started to worry me after a few weeks of it being constant. I lost my motivation, things stopped mattering. I still cared but couldn't bring myself to do anything, and nothing felt real, no consiquenses or gains.
You probably won’t see this but I just wanted to say that in music class, we have to write about our favorite artist and I chose you. You have been such an inspiration that even when you are in your lowest low you can make it out. Thank you
Luise H this is so cute, I hope Dodie sees it
Just to make you feel better lots of RUclipsrs have secret accounts just to read the comments so you have hope of her seeing this
Same with me!! I had to do a 5 page project on dodie with a discography, biography, introduction and a bunch of other stuff.
I did a website for ict on dodie
It’s hard to imagine living like this all the time. I only had this during panic attacks, the first time I had no idea what a panic attack was. I kept having to remind myself that what was happening was happening NOW...that I wasn’t remembering it. I kept saying to myself, “Is this happening now? Am I here now?” It was very scary and very weird. It feels like you’ve been drugged which is exactly what I thought happened.
sign543 dude I love your profile picture
i cant relate sorry :(
it's awful, it's fucking terrible, had it 5 years now non stop and ive basically lost me teenage years to it, my whole teenage years are a blur and i want to die all the time yikes
@@katieh7927 Yep same I am like:Ok this is probs a dream all i need to do is jump of a roof and i'll wake up :)
But damn then i think like:Oh shit what is this isn't a dream (If u know what i am trying to say rn)
I have this it’s a fricking living hell.
oh boy I'm getting a bit teary-eyed and I don't wanna self diagnose, but I've been feeling this for as long as I can remember. It's so relieving to hear that what I might be experiencing is something that is real and shared. I've asked so many people including friends and family, and I've never been able to understand why other people are so normal. I'm almost crying now and I just wanna say thank you so much for putting this information out there.
Elise Beaufeaux, I completely relate to this. I had no idea this was an actual mental diagnosis until my friend sent me this video and explained it. I’ve also felt like this sense, well forever, and I can’t remember a time when I didn’t. I am only a teen and I don’t know how to tell my parents in a way they will understand or seek help. But I’m glad I am not the only one who has felt the same way!
Same dude. At fourth grade I always feel like I was drifting and everything seemed like a film. My teacher always called me out for this. He was the best though, made my elementary days lighter.
Have u recovered
same!
Hope you're better now.
I never ever considered other people could have this. I thought I was going crazy. I read a comment below that perfectly described my own experience. Feeling a kind of invincibility and not caring as much as usual since the world doesn't really feel real until you "wake up". Like you're watching someone live their/your life through a window. The first few times were extremely disorientating when I woke up. It's gotten less disorientating the more times it has happened.
I keep reading comments that actually relate to what I’m dealing with and I’ve never been able to find someone dealing with the same thing as me. I feel the same way
Echo Nov i can relate., except from that i never “wake up from it” which sucks
I thought i was just crazy tbh
Echo Nov (I’m not sure if I have the same thing because mines a little weaker) I have a thing where I feel almost like I’m looking at life in 3rd person, but my senses are fine, I just feel dizzy and disoriented..
Echo Nov same
the background is so lovely (and so are you)
Yeah, that lamp, innit?
Roses are red, violets are blue?
Wait.. Then how do you know that you feel like your dreaming, if you never know what not dreaming is?
Hey Monika Hey Hey hey Monika.
A little bit of Monika 💖💜💙💛💕💞💓
i just got diagnosed with dpdr literally like two days ago and it feels SO GOOD to know that I’m not going crazy or whatever, but that it’s a Real Thing and that I’m not just making it up. i started having severe symptoms in the spring so it all went quite quickly thanks to some lovely friends that recognised what i was going through when i tried to explain my experiences and encouraged me to seek help. and it’s really great to know that other people feel this way as well. thank you!
If you don’t mind….do they give pills or something
What do you feel like now?
I've missed your honest ass so much, dodes.
tiffy lol
I notice people with depersonalization/derealization have a _thing._ For dodie, it's looking in the mirror and not recognizing herself. For me, it's staring at my hand and realising _this isn't my hand._ So i wrote something that describes it.
You stare at the back of your hand. You see the cracks in your skin, the crevices, the spiderweb of ridges. They've allways been there. It is your hand, after all.
But this time it's different. The cracks are deep and dark enough to fall into. The crevices create baren river beds, branching across the rest of your hand. It seems dry and brittle. Like it could crumble at any moment.
You hunt down a bottle of lotion, but nothing changes.
Now it shimmers. The light catches it, and your hand seems a lot bigger than your hand should be.
_Is this really your hand?_
Someone has turned the sharpness up, a little too much. But there is no picture. There is no camera. There is simply a hand that you do not recognize, and something like panic making its slow way up your chest, using your ribs like the rungs of a ladder.
You stare at the hand until it is no longer a hand; it is something dark and terrifying. It is a physical representation of your own crumbling psyche. You shove it into your pocket, anywhere, just as long as it is out of sight.
One day you'll look at it again. And maybe that day you'll recognize your own hand.
It is your hand, after all.
thehydrangea andtherose I get the exact same thing, it always starts with the hand and the more I look at it the more foreign and scary it looks, then it generally progresses to the rest of my body which then just feels completely disconnected to my brain. Scary stuff
thehydrangea andtherose it hurts to read how you go through that, I'm speechless.
i actually have both, i mean it's not really that bad, it's just the moments of confusion, of "wait... this is me? i'm a person" it's really bizarre, stay strong though! did you go to any specialist btw?
I have that thing with hand too and also I always feel like I'm just memory already in the past..
I do that thing too, but with my legs. It’s weird, like if I’m sitting and I look at my legs I’m like “woah those are attached to my body. like those are my legs”. I experience the mirror thing that dodie was explaining also though.
There's something I've read somewhere that helps me "come back", or ground myself to reality when I feel like my surroundings aren't real : around you, you should try to find
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch (and imagine what the sensation would be)
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste.
This technique helped me a few times, it forces you to be aware of what's really around you.
Achlucide same it helps
yes!! also helps with panic attacks
thank you
Thank you
I don't have derealization but when I have felt a panic attack coming on, this has helped me immensely
coming back to this vid roughly 5 years later now experiencing dpdr chronically for around 3 years almost moved me to tears. dodie as a musician and a personality was always my biggest inspiration through tween years and now being freshly 18 revisiting the music and youtuber sides of dodie is so connecting with my younger self (a part of my life i often forget because of the dpdr). thank you for inspiring me to play little songs on my uke and love the world with my whole heart
To everyone reading the comments. Feeling spacey (brain fog) is a VERY common thing and most people will experience it at some point in their life. It is when it occurs for an extended amount of time (EX: months, years) and interferes with your daily life and relationships that it becomes a disorder. There is so much self-diagnosing these days that everyone seems to all have clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and an anxiety disorder. Please don't add this one to the list. It is hard enough for this one to be understood and taken seriously.
Just trust me when I tell you that every single person in the comments does not have DP/DR disorder...
Emmy F thank you!
excatly!
Ashwaghanda cured mine!!! I ran out two weeks ago tho so it’s back lol but
tanye west i’m glad i found this comment bc i have like 10-20 minute episodes of brain fog like every couple days or so and i felt like it wasn’t this chronic disorder but i can relate to how it’s described bc i have these episodes every so often. i was trying to see if people have what i have and i know this isn’t quite the same. thank u for confirming that this disorder is chronic
I agree on this. I have it as a part of my PTSD so when someone's like "oh I get that." But they don't sleep till 3am and stare at screens all day...
I always feel like I’m dreaming and it feels like what I’m seeing isn’t real, and sometimes I panic. Can anyone relate?
ODS_Cobbtune yeah it happened to me yesterday and it was crazy. i was in the city on a saturday night with thousands of people and there were loud music playing and the lights were flashing and it made me feel dizzy. i felt like i wasn’t in the real world and everything felt like i was dreaming. i have anxiety (diagnosed by a psychiatrist) and i think that is the cause. it makes me feel like nothing matters and everything around me seemed fake. i also started to laugh uncontrollably over not even funny things and i felt like i was high or drunk or something. i’m really worried this feeling won’t go away, i don’t feel like myself after it. i would always feel like this after a party or watching fire works and bright flashing colourful lights. i feel like we both should seek help before this feeling corrupts and affects our daily lives and our relationships with other people.
I wonder how to stop it because I have the same thing
SSF Wulf yeah, and sometimes I get lightheaded and it’s really weird
I'm a hypochondriac, every time I feel like I'm sick I get this
I had it when I was young and I had many episodes and then it just never came back. But it was terrifying and I’d often feel like I was gunna faint. I remember my teacher yelling at me when I told her I felt like I was going to faint again. I couldn’t help it and often asked ppl around me if I was in a dream. Huh I wonder why that just randomly stopped. I was told it was panic disorder
I have autism, and severe PTSD. I'm also going blind from a eye disease. Because of Dodie, I found out that my floaty fake-ish feeling wasn't normal. So thank you Dodie 🌻♥
Lianne De Graaf sending my love to you 💕✨
big boyyy getting abused by your dad will do that to ya
Lianne De Graaf aww, I’m sorry! I have depression and anxiety. We’ll get through, buddy!
Lianne De Graaf AuTiSmO
Mussolini Mozart I really really really like your profile pic
I had this for three years and really thought I would kill myself if it continued any longer. You explained this perfectly ❤️ I wish you had posted this when I first had it as there was only a wiki page on it and self-help forums so I really believed nothing was real. I did get depression from and did not do as well during exams. If you're suffering from, I know it seems like dp is all there is right now but there is a way out. I overcame it without therapy or any help but it is a process that took a while. All I remember is that one day I decided not to focus on it at all and try to divert my mind on to many different things. Recovery in it self probably took me about a year but I'm glad it's over. I don't even remember exactly what it felt like, only that I was miserable with it. Please keep going, look to the future, depersonalisation is not permanent it's a state you need to get out of by relaxing and overcoming anxieties. You can do this alone, with friends or a therapist. Good luck ❤️
Thank you so much for this comment, I’ve been dealing with it for nearly a month now and I’ve been so worried about it being a permanent thing
@@brandoncarr4097 I does feel like it will last forever and every moment is like eternity but it won't last and when you get better life feels amazing again. Reach out for help if you can, it must be harder to deal with stuck at home in a pandemic
i was scrolling through the comments looking for mine from three years ago. when i found yours i did a double take because what you wrote sounds so damn similar to my own experience and the advice i’ve been giving people!
it’s so strange.
but this is not my old comment 😂 nonetheless i’m very happy you got out of it.
@@sarac.2761 that is strange 😂 maybe I'll come across yours too someday - and thanks, you too! (if you've overcome it)
Me too, homie.
Wow,
Hi I’m fourteen, and yesterday I went to a therapist for the first time because of derealization. Being in school, you need to constantly stay focused and on task. Yet class would go by in a blur, it was like there were white clouds over my vision and sound was muffled. And after class, my friends would ask what was wrong, I would be sitting in my seat with a distorted face not looking at anything just staring forward. I looked confused by they would say, whilst in reality I was trying to wipe away the clouds blocking away my vision. I felt as though I was going insane. Already depressed I felt defeated, left alone in the world. I have started to self harm, as I fell only deeper into depression because of the stress mental illness brings upon us. Yet as I went to a therapist yesterday and I found out I’m not alone. It was so funny to see this video pop up on my feed after all this happened. I haven’t tried any treatment yet, but I hope so soon. I’m seen as an annoyance to teachers as when they ask me to read or answer a question I take at least 30 seconds to snap out of my state. And though it seems like not much time, 30 seconds is enough to get you some bullying. I’m seen as a freak and a weirdo, and I’m scared to talk about it. Yet watching this video, I felt as though I was talking to a friend! You are such an inspiring beautiful person, and I hope you realize that! Xoxo Mollie from Seattle
P.S
If anyone else does read this, if you are feeling this way reach out to a trusted teacher! My old teacher from 7th grade (Ms. Weed) yes weed.. She is absolutely amazing and sweet. I told her about how I felt, and it really kickstarted my journey to getting better!
Hope all goes well! I am also considered an annoyance to my teachers, like I will ask a question and they yell at me for not paying attention but I was, I feel like I just blank out as if there's a tiny hole of my memory from something someone just said or showed is missing, and its hard to focus on classwork, (and that means late assignments ick) and it makes me feel better to see someone my age going through something similar, (oml I suck at writing)
+
Same, it's just so hard when you have to deal with this at school. I've once forced myself to focus on what the teacher is saying but it felt so blurry but no one knew. I'll try to tell my mom so she can get me a therapist. Hope to recover, hope you do too
I hope that therapy can help you! Thanks for sharing your story, I know it will help somebody too scared to reach out xx
Thank you for sharing! I can’t relate that much besides the depression but I think you’re a very strong person and wish you the best of luck on the road to recovery!
I almost got chills when you said something about Christmas lights. I first had an "episode" of depersonalization and derealization at a Christmas lights show when I was only TEN years old. I felt like I was going insane. I took me so long to find out I wasn't alone, but I've never connected to any of the symptoms people had mentioned until this video. Thank you so SO much. This video has, and I really mean it, changed my life.
I dont think I have this but the Christmas Lights and a few other things I could relate to
I don't think i have ever related to a comment like i just have.Everything you said resonates with me and I can see many similarities
I immediately clicked on this because finally someone feels the same way.
me too!
me too.. me too. it's terrifying for me
I experience this all the time, for about 3 weeks every month consistently
I recommend the Anxiety Ninjas videos. I was like this for over a year and it was horrible. I’ve watched his videos on it and slowly felt better about what I was going through and now I’m free from it, I sometimes get my little moments here and there but they don’t bother me, feeling normal again is 100% possible. :)
From my bad experience with it, I found that making it “who I was” or paying attention to it all the time and just simply ruminating on it made it worse and just struck more anxiety in me. So I’m not downing her ways or anything like that because maybe it helps her, but honestly for me personally, I found that it wasn’t the best idea to be writing about it and making it a big part of who I was because it wasn’t, I just stopped calling myself a sufferer. Once you understand what DPDR is, you’ll understand why circling your life around it like it’s something that’s not gonna end is a bad idea.
DPDR is there as a defence mechanism to help you through traumatic experiences which is why you hear some people say they felt out of body or that they don’t remember a certain event for example major pain like an animal attack, it helps you not focus on the pain but instead “the weird feeling”. So with that basic understanding of it, I was able to steer into trying to feel like myself again.
I know it doesn’t sound the easiest, but it’s simple. I thought I needed all the medication, all the weird treatments, all the nights of hospitalization when all I really needed was the education and support. I hope y’all get through it because I can assure you that it isn’t forever :)
Although it isn’t just as easy as watching videos, that’s what I’m making it seem like lol, it does take time and effort to help yourself get through it, not gonna lie it took me a while but it was all worth it in the end.
HERES A TIP- Surround yourself with your friends and good vibes even when you feel like you don’t have the energy, trust me when I was around my friends, their good energy made me feel better especially when I had really bad days, never stay home and sulk the whole time!
www.carolynspring.com/blog/feeling-unreal-depersonalisation-derealisation-disorder/
Thanks!
Hei I don't know if you will ever read this but you really helped me a lot with this comment. I went over to Anxiety Ninjas channel and now I feel so much better to know that it's a coping mechanism and there's a way out. Thank you so much for recommending him!
@@kaislaaurora7865 🤍🤍🤍 an update, I’m now 20 and I’ve never felt better.
thank you for your comment!
I have an exercise I do when it gets really bad. Take a deep breath and Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one you can taste. It helps ground you and remind you you are here.
Thanks I'll try this
That’s what I do as well!
That's awesome thank you!I have severe panic attacks because i feel like I'm not grounded in reality.
I'm always writing song names/titles and one that came to me out of this problem is called "I forgot I was on earth" lol ;D It's best to just have some humor about it and try to force your mind away from the negative thinking into a positive outlet. I've dealt with it for years and it is a struggle. Call it ocd, call it pseudo balber affect, call it derealization or depression, call it what you want it's all just terror. Ppl dont even realize (me included once) that every auto negative thought that the mind has naturally sends electrical impulses to the body yhat tells it how to feel so we to train how talk back to ourselves. We have and will continue to grow in a world full of wounds but fight club must go on. God Bless you all!
yup, this helps!!
You go through your normal day, when all of the sudden... everything changes. Nothing fully computes in your head and you feel zoned out. Your brain and body feel like two separate things instead of a full working “machine”.
Or at least that’s my experience with derealization.
I talk about it and nobody understands, so to know that there are people like me; it makes all the difference.
I feel that a lot too! My best friend is the only one who knows and I plan to tell other friends soon but yeah. It’s really strange.
SOS Save Our Seas right?! it’s so nice to feel safe in a community like this- even though it might not be an in person conversation, it’s still a convo with a real person who understands the real experience! (Sorry for the long sentence reply- i’m a bit insane lol)
This one almost made me teary eyed, thank you so much for describing this so well.
Same! The only person I know who knows this feeling is a friend I have, and we don’t even talk a lot. Whenever I bring it up to my friends they look at me like I’m nuts
Tbh sometimes it is worse than this. You feel disconnected even from your brain, like you are not sure if the thoughts are really yours. If there is even you at all
i needed this. i thought i was going insane but finally seeing someone publicly address it is so comforting & makes me feel less alone.
Callie Marie same
I have this too well i have autism and ptsd so it comes in the package. Very very odd but honestly im glad i have it. Sometimes it can be very soothing to just space out from the world but it also makes you quite vulnerable to bad people. I feel you girl ♡
Oh my goodness.
Dodie.
This is nuts!
As soon as i read the title i freaked out, because i constantly feel this way, especially when I’m in a new place. I always tell my friends “I always feel like my life is a dream” and they tell me I’m crazy and that it will go away and it’s nothing to be depressed about.
Thank you for making reality feel a bit more real for me.💗
Edit: listening to the part in your book about watching a movie made me remember the first time i felt this way. I haven’t thought of this since it happened.
I was 10 and on my class trip to Disney World. One we arrived, nothing felt real, but i was still aware. We went on the Finding Nemo ride, and became entangled in the beauty of the ride. The characters were right there, like i could almost reach my small hand out and touch them. Once we got off, i was in a daze. My body was doing what it was supposed to do. Stick with the group while we walked around visiting the different attractions, laugh with my friends. But my brain felt like mush. I was watching a first person movie, and i was the uncontrollable main character.
This may sound kinda weird but I really like the way you write. Anyways, I hope you feel better soon!
EXACTLY but weirdly it wasn't a new place for me ... I went to 6 flags with my best friends and it didn't feel like anything was real and my brain didn't wanna work. I tried to hold onto my friend to ground myself and the cold handlebars but it didn't work... I felt like that for a long time maybe an hour or so
Maria Winchester
Thank you so much! You are so kind :)
I’m crying right now, I thought I was crazy or something and I felt alone. Thank you for this video, really, I realize I’m not alone and I feel a lot of relief simply knowing this.
I feel you so fricking much
You're not alone hey,i hope you feel better. Also surround yourself with the right kind of people, that will not make you feel shitty
You and me both. I truly thought I was alone in this
I am crying too :( , i thought that i am going crazy or that something bad is happening with my brain, nobody really believe me, my friends don't even know what i am talking about when i tell them how bad i feel with this condition... but we are in this together! And we are enough strong to get rid of it.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Seriously, this means a lot to me
To me too. And I CANNOT BELIEVE she had it.
i come back to this every once and awhile, cause i found this a few years ago when i was feeling this way and ever since then i haven’t felt so alone in this. thank you so much for making this apart of your platform. while i haven’t been able to see a professional, i’ve been able to speak to my parents about this which is a huge step for me. thank you so so much.
Practicing deep breathwork as Wim Hof breathing. It s magical how it does reconnect you in minutes
I have been absolutely floored by this video.
I can’t believe one of my favourite artists also suffers with a dissociative disorder. I’m only 20 seconds into the video, and the moment you mentioned derealization I almost cried, because I’ve never been able to relate to anybody in some aspects with my DPDR (depersonalization/derealization disorder). I’ve only started seeing somebody other than my counsellor about it very recently, so it’s as if the stars aligned for this video to be uploaded.
Thank you so much, Dodie. This video means a lot to me and the countless other unspoken sufferers of dissociative disorders.
*Edit:* I made a short film on my channel earlier this year called Permanent Shadows, in which the main character dissociates from reality a couple of times throughout the course the film. Not a perfect depiction of the symptoms, and not what the film is primarily about but just something I feel is relevant.
dontlookatluke I could relate to it too! :'( feels good to know.
I have OCD, anxiety, and a panic disorder and it's so great that Dodie is spreading he message and helping to "normalize" and de-stigmatize mental health and discussions about it
I ALWAYS explain it as feeling like I'm dreaming all the time. I've never heard anyone else say it feels like they're dreaming. This was in my recommended and I've never clicked a video so fast because this is so accurate. It's the scariest thing I've ever experienced and do experience everyday. I'm sorry you've had to suffer. It's frustrating.
NessyGames i started experiencing the feeling of “not existing” or not feeling myself in the moment ever since i was around 8 years old, i’m 15 now. But it doesn’t happen all the time, it has been getting better over time. But when i do feel that way i look at my hands and i just feel like i’m a ghost or something. My mom after a few years began being concerned about it and we called the doctor and i told them what my “symptoms” were and I’m not sure if she mention this condition along with anxiety. But is it a similar feeling?
Yes, mostly it feels like my emotions are dulled down. I don't feel real, I feel like I'm in a dream, everything including my memories is a bit of a blur, and I feel numb quite a lot. Everyone experiences things differently. It happens after being through something traumatic/multiple traumatic things and then your brain detaches and tries to protect you by essentially making you numb.
I connected with this video so much as well. Mine comes and goes. And the severity differs as well but when I’m not feeling there I literally can’t get out of bed. It messes with my mind so much! The only thing that helps me is when I get ultra focused on something in a quiet space( so like a RUclips video in the car or something) or sleeping. It sucks though I can’t even look in the mirror without this overwhelming feeling of that not being me. I had an episode I guess you can call it back a few years ago and I couldn’t stop crying. I went to my doctor and he told me I had allergies!! Now none of my family believes me and they think that I am a hypochondriac. But I have felt what you are feeling I know there isn’t something right with me but I feel like nobody will ever take me seriously.
I always say that im having an out of body experience like astral projection while im awake
NessyGames Yeah I haven’t clicked on anything so quickly..
I’m so confused.. I seriously thought everyone experienced this stuff. Should I be concerned oh my god
Don’t be concerned. If you are concerned go see someone and get a bit more information about it. It’s nothing to be worried about, it’s ok. I don’t experience it but I know you’re not alone. It’s ok 👍😊
You should not, a lot of people experience this condition, it is due to anxiety and sometimes because of a lack of sleep! I felt this today, i was outside, it was horrible. Yesterday, before goind to sleep, i had an anxiety attack. It is due to overthinking, your brain practically just tries to protect you of your overthinking...
@Stefan Brockelbank For me, it was due to anxiety!
@Cosmo Boss Try to stop being so hard with yourself... honestly, you deserve better... stop overthinking and be more positive about life, you deserve it 💓
Gold Rose i always think im dreaming
I just want to say thank you for sharing this with us. I fell exactly like you for 4 years now and I could never explain to myself or to the others what I was going through but now, thanks to you (and to my girlfriend that finds you) I can finally name this black beast that ruined my life for so long. I feel almost every sensations that you described in the book and I immediatly start crying and I'm crying right now while I'm writing this and I don't know why but i guess is for because I don't feel alone anymore. Thank you so much and
I hope with all my heart that you can get better as soon as possible
Woaaah the descriptions were so good. During one really stressful final exam week, I experienced a bout of depersonalization that lasted a few hours. Thankfully, I managed to google my symptoms and discover what I was experiencing and why it was happening. I think that helped me come out of it (on top of the stressors being gone). It was a horrifying experience, and I can't imagine having it chronically. You are so so lovely, Dodie. Stay strong
I feel like when I district myself like tv or useing my phone keeps me from thinking about it. I find that the more you think about it the worse it gets, because once you forget about it you feel better but as soon as you remember it gets horrible and it's hard to get back to forgetting it
Yes same! Omg
Rôll Løøse Same! I’ve had this for 20 years on and off and the only thing that works is accepting it and distracting myself!
Definitely can relate
Same i think that life is a dream most of the time, but when i watch yt on my phone or play games or watch tv i forget that i was thinking about it..But when i just zome out i remember it (If ya'll know what i am trying to say)
So if anyone of you guys think that life is a dream or anything like that, that is okay to think about it useally most ppl think about it and that is normal.
U might cry about it or get stressed out about it or get kinda mad..
But that is okay!
Sorry for my grammar qwq
@@xbunbunx9060 Hi! I hope you're doing well. You are right, it's ok to feel angry or sad or a little bit annoyed but feeling disconnect. But if it is interfering with you daily life, you should definitely see a mental health professional! It can be scary, and often it is a learning process; but is defensively worth it since we are taking about health, one of the most important things we have.
Just like if we had a tummy ache that was recurrent and annoying we will go to the doctor to find out how to take care of it, we should do that with our minds. It is not "exaggerating" or "unimportant", it's your mind and you deserve getting guidance to make sure it's healthy, just like everything else.
That's it, have a great day!
This is really comforting to me
Most of the time I feel like I’m not actually living, I can’t remember where I went on vacation, I forget memories that I should remember (I went for skydiving once and I can’t remember anything), my thoughts get really messy and I can’t recognize myself anymore, and I’ve had multiple episodes where I had to stop myself in the middle of the road to do a reality check because my whole body felt numb
Up until now I thought it was because of my depression, but I just realized that maybe it’s something more than that
Thank you for bringing this up, I’m going to do more research about it and hopefully I can help myself now
oh my god your name is Milena too??? IM NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD?!?
You have no idea how happy this video makes me. I was extremely scared that I was going crazy or something when I began experiencing depersonalization and anxiety (including panic attacks) after this extremely stressful even in my life. Depersonalization was just such a scary state to be in. So hazy, feeling like you’re in autopilot. I had been seeing a therapist for depression but just tying to explain my depersonalization was the HARDEST thing ever and you did it so well!
Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone/ going crazy!
I didn’t realise this was an actual thing, I thought I was just tired and not really with it.
she didn't say she did and even if she thinks she does and/or does have it you don't have to be rude about it
aBEEgail thank you
You could be suffering from narcolepsy if you're chronically fatigued. That's much more likely than the condition which has been described in this video.
Alright, no offence to anyone but I don’t need strangers on the internet telling me what I do or do not/might or might not have. I’m currently seeking actual professional medical help.
Rosie Ferris I hope you figure out what you have and that it doesn't give you much trouble
I don’t have vision problems
but I frequently feel like my brain is so muddled and that I am not myself. it’s more of a mental feeing than physical I guess. I have such a hard time feeling present EVER. I’m always seeking experiences that make me feel alive and real but I’m too tired to pursue them. idk what to do:/
Accept bordem. There's so much pressure from ourselves to be entertained all the time. What changed things for me is reading 'the suble art of not giving a fu*k' I really recommend that.
I would recommend watching Infinite Waters
Same!!!!! I never felt that i am existing in the present and i am just floating. And that my body and my brain are two different things.
It's so great to not feel alone, thanks for sharing. Exactly what I get
I feel the same!!! When I'm with people it's not so apparent to me but when I'm alone I feel like I'm floating around, and everything's a tiny bit out of focus in my brain but I can see everything fine
Mine kicked in after smoking a lot of weed. Been stuck like this for almost a year
Slime same bro fml
Weed is fine they said
Hey. Mine was MUCH MUCH worse (disabling) after I tripped a ton of acid. I was stuck like that for 1-3 years but it DID go away. Most hallucinogenic effects like this (and weed is absolutely a hallucinogen) go away, so keep on truckin'.
@@SpecialBlanket I tried weed about a month ago after having a really strong dose and I felt completely numb and like I was in a constant dream and high state. The numbness is gone but everything feels like a dream still. I also get a ton of anxiety and would derealize in school. I'm trying to get Therapy
Slime SAME. My cousin blew weed right into my face multiple times and now I’m stuck in a dream world. It’s been like this for over a week now
It must be really weird and tiring to have derealization all the time! I only feel this on anxiety attacks including sometimes depersonalization but all the time! you're so brave 💝 thank you for sharing it
Wait.. is this whats been happening to me ? Omg i always thought it was just short term memory and that my eyes are going bad...
Just passing by. I would highly recommend consulting someone, mate. One thing about self-diagnosis is that you might be wrong, which is what all the sceptics might reasonably tell you; another thing is that you might be right and thus you gotta go consult a specialist. I also have derealization and I remember thinking that it was all about my eyes, same as you, or that I just didn't get enough sleep. Now, after more than two years of being stuck here, I finally have a therapist and I'm working on this issue. I did try to cope on my own before, but without any guidance, it didn't work and in fact the disorder got worse over those years. So if you think you might have derealization (or any other kind of bullshit!), please try to find a therapist. Stay strong, man!
same
MrBoko1234 yeah I feel the same... idk
yeah same, my mom says its just allergies but idk since ive taken so much medicine and its been months at least (it started feeling like this last year)
I also agree with Alice Chester, please go get this tested out, as it could be something severe and you will never know till you try find out. Good luck and I hope its not really difficult. Peace and love
I love that dodie reads the book instead of asking people to go get the book and read it for themselves
In middle school I suffered a lot from depersonalization and it got to bad I was actually hospitalized for two weeks because of basically a mental breakdown. I didn't know what was wrong with me and freaked the fuck out. Now I only get episodes maybe once a month and I've learned to cope with it. It's super scary going through life, not knowing what is wrong with you, or even how to describe it to doctors because you just don't know how. But once you're diagnosed, it's like a big weight that flies off of you, and you know that's the first step to getting better.
Hey uh, I have a a few questions. I am in middle school (grade 7) and I have experienced this since 5th grade but I managed to get rid of it for a couple of months. Every day is basically a living hell for me because I feel as if I am a spectator. Anyway, did you take medications for DPD/DRD? Right now I am currently undergoing the Child & Youth Mental Health Services and they recommended I join the anxiety groups.
In conclusion, I feel so hopeless right now. I feel as if I'm never going to get cured. I just really want to get better so maybe if you could please go into detail about your journey to recovery?
Veronica J can I ask you something?
I’m in high school and have been dealing with this for around 5 years,
Nothing works for me, I have no idea how to wake up, no pressure of course but how did you learn to cope?
nice picture.
I honestly feel like crying watching this. I have felt these things and I always just thought it was my depression/anxiety. And every time I explained it to someone they look at me weird and say “I’m not eating or sleeping well” or “do some exercise” but even if I do it happens. This is the first time I have felt like I’m not going crazy or the only one that feels this way... thank you so much for this video. This means so much to me...
THIS IS A THING?
I HAVE THIS TOO
AND I WENT TO THE COUNSELOR AT SCHOOL FOR IT
THIS MAKES ME FEEL 1620348273567128904 TIMES BETTER
Magical Guinea Pig I went to the school counselor and was called insane so nOpe never again
Insane bc of the derealization if that wasnt clear lol
juliepoolie oh my god thats horrible!
the counselor at my school said that shed talked to other students with derealization and helps me a lot. dont worry, there are so many people in the comments on this video and just in general that will love you and support you and help you and you are most definitely not insane.
i didn't know what it was called until now, and i get this when i'm really stressed
juliepoolie you are not insane, that’s terrible that you were called that! stay strong 💛💛
I hate this feeling so much. I remember during the worst part of my life (when I was going through really bad anxiety) I felt just...wrong. I knew I was alive but I didn’t feel like I was the same person I’ve always been before. When I found out it was due to my anxiety everything made sense and sometimes I do still get these feelings but I’m happy to know that there’s a reason.
Himynameiscarly I’m right here with you. All day. Erry day.
Same thing for me
I am so glad you now know what derealisation is now and that you are getting help for it!
does she still have depersonalization or is it the same thing as derealization?
edit: oop, she answered it.
Karis Lee they are different.
Omg. This cannot be real? Is it Dodie?
It's not real, someone is impersonating Dodie to post spam (or scam or attack) links. Happens to most big youtubers, sadly.
Always be suspicious and assume a fake identity. Never click the link.
If you want to verify someone's youtube identity, click on the avatar and check it is the right person.
At least on PC, the uploading user has their name highlighted in all their comments.
I never realized there were more people that experienced this it’s good to know I’m not the only one
it doesn’t happen a lot but sometimes i just stare for like a minute and i’m like “is this real?” like i could be staring at a family member or smth and disassociate idk it’s kinda hard to explain
Meredith I kinda feel like that sometime
Yea same
Same I was on a field trip today and it happend
that’s nowhere near what this is
Billie Vanderpol i didn’t say it was the same thing? i just thought it was kinda similar
It's so refreshing to have someone talking about this, I have never had anyone who truly understands what I am describing. This open dialogue has encouraged me to talk to my mom and get help. Thank you for all of this positive conversation!
Emory Brinson me too my dude. I may just send this video to my mom to help me tell her about it
+Rachel Webster I hope everything works out! Sending good vibes :)
Emory Brinson awe thank you!!! Same to you fellow spaced out human 😊
On a side note.....
DODIE HAS HAD SO MUCH CONTENT LATELY I AM GOING CRAZY! ITS GREATTTTTTT
Sophia Wilson your all over her comments omg Ive seen you so much its registered XD
Sophia Wilson I KNOW ITS GREAT😍😍😍😍
Chill with the comments, Sophia.
Ruqayyah Qadri I’m sorry I can’t help itttt I love me some dodie😂
Sophia Wilson your even on no views videos of her sure I'm sharing that I also watch them but your just impressive I even start to think you to is recommending videos you've commented on I'll see you as top to second comment even though you will have at most 10 likes XD
i remember 4 years back when i was 16, watching your videos, i couldnt imagine what it was like going through depersonalization and it was the first i have heard of this condition. eventually my mental health gotten worse to the point i actually developed depersonalization, and i was trying to remember who it was who i found the condition from. i have finally found you and i have got to say it really sucks to deal with this condition. it feels like im high without the high and it really makes me panic. i hope it has gotten well for you too
Disassociation is quite frankly one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever experienced. I have PTSD, and in high stress situations I’ll have episodes where I depersonalize or derealize, and the only way I’ve ever known how to describe it is that it feels like your astral projecting and yet your still expected to function like you’re inside your body. My episodes can last a few hours, but I can’t imagine how it would feel to have an episode and never be able to come out of it. Props to you for sharing something like this, especially when it’s so difficult to explain to others who’ve never felt it.
Abi Wilson
While I can't understand what you are going through just know that others dont have to be able to understand in order to help you. If nobody you know is able to help with this right now just know that sooner or later you will meet someone or someone's who will be able to make you more comfortable and happy. I'm proud of you for getting through your life regardless of the struggle. Because that is true strength. Stay strong :)
Abi Wilson Yes! Its exactly like this, Abi.
For me, my disassociation comes for months at a time. I’m lucky that at least it isn’t all the time and it does vary. When I am in a episode, they are strong. I find it feels like I’m just watching a movie and my body moving isn’t really me. It is terrifying. I find making/hearing noise tends to calm me. Especially with repetitive noises, I.e a heat pump or talking or rain
the first time i watched this i cried tbh. i didnt know this was a thing until this video and i thought i was insane or something. this video is rad and im happy you made it
Boot Snoot same:/
I have a condition (well it’s not really a condition) where I can’t tell if my memories is a memory or a dream since my memory isn’t very good and my dreams are too realistic. It’s very disorienting because I never know when I reminisce about something if it even ever happened or did I dream about it. The dreams that I have feel like memories so I have no idea.
Despicable Penguin this happens to me sometimes and will mix up reality and dreams. Like ill just remember something but cant remember if it happened or not and im aware im tripping
Glad you can deal with that. I can’t
This happens to me too!
SAME
Iget this too!
Thank you for talking about this! I don't have the same exact thing as you but I also struggle with derealization/depersonalization especially when stressed, and it sucks. For me it's a cloudy feeling and sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm here, pouring myself water, or watching a movie, or doing whatever I'm doing. I appreciated this video because it opened my eyes to other symptoms people can have and made me feel less alone.
ANYONE ONE ELSE FEEL LIKE THIS : too derealised to talk to your therapist. I walk in and simultaneously faded out of my own body and yet im sitting there and saying im in pain, expressing all that's happened in recent weeks but looking at them, they look bored and annoyed and i realise that all this time my mouth wasnt moving. When it finally does move i end up muttering 'im fine' but they know im not, they just dont know what they can do to help as i cant say it. If ur having this problem, take a notepad in with with and write down ur thoughts as u think them before they run out of ur mind. What u could also do is write a list of feelings in a notepad and when in therapy, point to whichever one ur experiencing - once u start the conversation, it becomes easier to hold on to reality. If something really painful or sensitive comes up remember - u r as real as u want to be and so is the room ur in, the world u r in and the mind u OWN. U arent a slave to it, u just have to learn how to be good roommates :) hope this helps someone. Love to u all❤💜💙
Janai P thank you so much, this is great advice. I haven’t had a ton of problems talking to my therapist, in fact I’m saying more than I ever have, but even then there are a million thought that spring up that never leave my head. It helps a ton to think of your mind as a roommate and not a window you look through, to think of the world as just as real as you are, I really really appreciated this comment. Thank you again.
Ahhhhh thanks for the tips
Janai P Oh how I wish I had a therapist
Janai P sameee
Janai P therapist don't help me 😞
Hey dodie, if net neutrality ends up being repealed in the US, I just wanted to say how much you’ve helped me this past year. It breaks my heart when I think of not ever getting to listen to your music or watch your videos in the same way ever again. Your videos and songs have kept me afloat when I felt like drowning, and I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for you. Thank you so much, you’ve helped me feel again. You’ve helped me figure myself out and made me laugh and cry in the best ways. If by any chance you see this, and if net neutrality ceases to be, goodbye.
Rebecca Ogden
I'm so sorry..but I don't think this is the end. People are so outraged at this that I don't think it'll last long. But maybe not. And I hope that maybe you'll be able to watch her still, it mostly depends on your internet provider..
You will still be able to access video just for a bigger price
Hopefully congress will see how upsetting and negatively impactful it will be to people... especially those who can't afford to pay for everything
do you actually know what net neutrality is?? it sucks that it's being repealed, but you can still access the internet lol
Ashley Kane it's for a higher price though bro
wait is this not how people normally experience the world?? i just thought that was how the world was?
VoldiOldie Artichokie oh shit??? i don't want to feel like this forever wtf do i do
@VoldiOldie Artichokie k
i have autism, every day is like a nightmare like you see ALOT of stuff you hear ALOT of stuff its really LOUD and that everyday
Sometimes I have to remind myself what’s going on even if I know what’s going on 😂
I’m weird lol
I wish
I cried to this. I feel so heard.❤
IS THIS WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! I didn't even know this was a thing.....I thought if I just ignored it it would just go away.... oml
SAME
SAME!!! I've been dealing with this since I was in 4th grade and always wrote it off as an anxiety attack but it never fully felt as though it was an anxiety attack. This is all so new to me!
Jessica Moncivais “ mqvxm “follow me on insta if anyone wants to talk about it! Because I don’t know anyone who has this!!
Same with me!!! It started happening to me when I transferred to a new school!!
Same! I just ignored it. I just figured I was weird or something. I didn’t even feel particularly anxious during these times either that’s why I didn’t question it.
I’ve dealt with this ever since I was a kid. I’m glad you posted this video. I’m in college now, and the feeling gets so intense that Im starting to get heart palpitations now. It’s literally the worst feeling in the world. My whole day feels like a dream, and I have one or multiple panic attacks a day. It’s literally killing me :/
boltoms me too.
boltoms oh my I am dealing with something very similar! I have tachycardia, heart palpitations, panic attacks and I feel like I'm dreaming a lot. I feel like I'm dying a lot. It's hard. Meditation and yoga has helped me.
it sounds like you are realizing you are a body. the body itself ..as all its senses, is an anchor of familiar patterns. death is the ultimate unfamiliar pattern. so its all related. come to accept that you are going to still be thinking while dying.. whenever that comes. its possible to realize that the brain is not the arm..leg..or the associsted sensations. its an information processing system..pattern matcher. we cling to comfort. but everyone dies. its just a ruder awakening for those who dont see their body and their brain/sense integrator/center of thought in true perspective
no matter how hard things get, one thing that always gets me through the most difficult times in my life is prayer, which ever God you pray to, sometimes when we go through these kind of things, we rlly don’t have to keep it to ourselves and if we aren’t comfortable talking to another person, then please don’t forget God is always there. Prayer heals. Depression, Anxiety or whatever it is that’s bothering you
me too. but what if we really are in a dream
If you are suffering from a mental health problem, DON'T GIVE UP ON TREATMENT! Treatment is very personal, so it can take time to find what works for you. Hang in there! Don't give up! You are a strong, valid human being.
So true. took me years to find the right type of treatment.
Treatment might not always work on certain people
omg it does take time and im already giving up. I feel like, as long as it doesnt affect my life, ill get used to it, hoping that im gonna be fine.
i’ve watched this video so many times and always recommend it to people because of how you describe it. it brings a sense of comfort knowing it not a lone even if it feels like it
To me when it's really bad it feels excactely as if I'm stuck in a video game. It feels as if I'm this tiny person stuck in the back of my mind, looking through eyes that aren't mine, trying to control this body that isn't mine, and talk to friends that I haven't made.
I don't feel like me at all, and I honestly don't feel anything beside constant panick. It feels like I'm stuck in a different dimension than everyone else, as if I'm the only person in the world. Everything looks 2D and there are way to many sounds and colors, that all seem so distant and unreal yet way way too much to take in. My sense of time and place is so fucked up, and my memory gets so bad, and I just feel like I've gone absolutely mad. I have no control over my body, i am so overly concious of every single movement I make, and i don't feel capable of feeling anything but distress. I just fucking want to go back to the real world, and I want my actual self to come back.
berNII-SAN awwwwwww stay strong and keep on fighting u will break free one day soon just dont give up even tho its soooo bloody hard but always remember its ur body its ur mind and its ur life even if it doesn't feel that way now thier still URS and u will feel the way u used to!!! Stay strong ur not alone!!! Gl xxx
SAME. I feel like I'm a tiny person operating a robot inside the robot's head. (I think there was a Fairly Odd Parents episode like that... and a Doctor Who one? It's a pretty common TV trope I think.) Like my mind and body are disconnected or fake or something. I also am just acutely aware of my own existence, yet at the same time paranoid that nothing is really as it seems and I'll wake up from a dream at any moment. It causes me a lot of anxiety as well. I don't really relate to Dodie's descriptions of her symptoms but I can't think of what else it would be besides derealization or depersonalization.
Everything you're describing is EXACTLY what I'm feeling and have felt for a while.
thank you! You've managed to put EXACTLY how I feel into words, something ive never managed to do 💛
I LEGIT EXPERIENCE THIS TOO OH MY GOODNESS
Sometimes I feel as if I can’t grasp myself. As if I’m watching a stranger live her life and she very rarely asks me what she should do next. Living in a theatre watching my life go by has been my reality ever since I can remember. Sometimes time stops and suddenly everything is too sharp and real. These are my peeks into reality, and they are quite frightening. Being spaced out isn’t so bad, it’s actually helped me through a lot, given I can’t fully experience some emotions. Dodie, you’ve helped me see that I’m not alone. I’ll always and forever be genuinely in love with you. ❤️
Stay strong 💛
It's Just Kayla I understand, I often feel lile i'm floating anf that i'm not really here. I'm just watching a young teen ponder about life and death. Constantly spaced out and forgets things within a minute...
That is exactly how I describe it to others! You will get better! Loves 💜💜
❤️❤️❤️
Damn you summed up my feeling perfectly. It really is like I’m watching some random person live their life and all of the people around me aren’t real. Describing it as time suddenly stops is so real to me and it’s like everything is honed in on only me. Sometimes it feels like I can see myself walking from a distant point of view too.
thank you so much for making this in such a positive way! it is so nice to have somebody talking about mental health without all of the taboo and shame that normally comes along with it. i am in no way saying that mental health should be glorified, but seeing somebody so positive in such a hard time is really refreshing. good job dodie
You are cute
God, I've been feeling like this on and off since probably midway through quarentine, and you were right, knowing I'm not alone really is pretty comforting. Its so. Frustrating to feel like Im not myself, because I generally LIKE being myself! It makes me feel broken. But this video is kind of helping me feel... idk less broken. Less like this constant feeling is going to ruin my life. Ive recently started like, actually looking for help stopping it and this video existing is just so, *so* comforting. Jesus this is getting rambly but just. Thank you.
When you forget about it you lose the feeling but then you remember it and it comes back
Exactly
nah not for me
not for me
THIS COMMENT RIGHT HERE. This is me, everyday
Yep
so basically i sometimes feel like dodie feels.... but not the same . lemme explain. for example when i am sitting in class / random time of the day i suddenly realize that i am in this world i am me , but as of before i felt like i was watching a move thru the point of view of someone else or playing a game and controlling the character and i feel like my bran just flew out of my head................its really weird. if someone experiences this please tell me xD
a_cat_on_top_of_a_cat this sounds like depersonalisation! My experience with this is like watching life through the eyes of someone else with no proper control over what they're doing, even though I know it's actually myself. The way I look + sound doesn't feel right, and my emotions don't seem to be mine, almost like I can't truly experience them.
If you look up depersonalisation and any of that seems familar you might want to speak to your doctor!
i get this ALL the time! I didn't realize it had a name and now i do so i feel a lot better about my situation.
my heart dropped when I read that it felt like a movie. that’s exactly what I experience everyday and I’m glad I’m not alone
Same, I also feel that since a kid! I vividly remember when I was 7 or 8 years old, at school, standing in a queue with my classmates and having that episode in such a strong way. I have it really frequently, knowing I'm a person, realizing that I am indeed someone, that I have feelings like everyone has, that I have genes, chromosomes, ascendents, realizing I'm someone who has digitals, that I CAN be recognized in a crowd, that I experience desires, I have a perception -- just like everyone in the world... It makes me feel so weird.
It's so weird realizing I'm living life in first person, I, me, seeing through my eyes, and I'm not doing that in third person, he, him, his life, his desires, it's MY life, like...???? It's so so so weird, the world is like a big simulation and perceiving I am not doing things as seeing "from outside" feels so strange it makes me want to cry
Oh my gosh. I literally get this feeling all the time. It is most common with a combination of light changes and stressful situations. Ex. walking from outside into church triggers it, walking into brightly lit stores, going somewhere I haven’t been in a while, bonfires, etc. It’s so odd and I’ve talked to my parents about it but they don’t take it seriously because they’ve never felt it before, and I don’t know what to do.
Wow, same here! Thought I was the only one who experience the new environment thing.
I experience the same exact thing wow
+CinnamonCrayola
Find a therapist near you which specialises in depersonalization or derealization.
I experience the new environment thing and the light thing really really badly. Its so frustrating having to explain to people why I cant stay in certain brightly lit rooms for a long time. No one really seems to take it seriously
Connie the thing with mental illness/any psychological condition really is that most people don’t seem to understand that it is not something you choose to feel, or could just will away, but it’s completely involuntary the same as if you have a muscular condition that makes your shoulder hurt if someone pinches it
I remember when I was around 8 years old and I looked at my mom and said, "are you real? is this real?" and she got scared I was showing signs of early onset psychosis, but I was just going through derealization. It's so difficult to socialize during it because I feel like an alien masquerading as a human in an ill fitting skin suit. Everything feels like almost like a stimulation. It's not as jarring/scary as it was for me when I was a kid, but I think it's mostly because it's become my "normal".
Thanks for teaching me something new, it is quite interesting and im sorry you have that. I do recognize the forgetting everything part (and trying to not forget by taking pictures and writing everything i think down.) I actually dont remember anything under the age of 8.
I had derealisation a few times but it was when I was tired and stress
Wimsem - Tekenen & Knutselen your comments are literally all over youtube, I see you all the time while I’m scrolling through the comments 😂 no hate or anything just a remark haha😘 ik ben ook nederlands btw
I don't remember my childhood either, or at least it's very foggy for me. This is a symptom of my BPD, which it may or may not be for you, who knows, but it is called dissociative amnesia. x
And got episodes of this a couple months back. I was super depressed and my anxiety was awful. I couldn’t function as a normal human being. I was injured for 4 months (I just got back to physical activity 3 weeks ago) and my mental state was deteriorating. I have thyroid problems so I had to go on medication for that, and then came a kinda steroid medication for my injury which triggered the episodes. I felt like I was never really alive and was just floating from the high dosage of medication. After being taken off of them for that reason, I kept having these episodes. My anxiety was just getting worse and worse until I finally got medicated for that. The episodes remained for a couple days as my body adjusted to the burst of medication entered my system and stopped for awhile. I was recently upped on the dosage for my anxiety and I dealt with the readjusting and the derealization episodes for three days or so. I don’t remember much, but it was during thanksgiving and my mom read me old stories from my great grandmother so I didn’t have to be in my own head for awhile. I can say I still get small episodes here and there but I am finally feeling alive and worthy again. If you feel hopeless and scared as I was, just get through. I promise you there is help out there and you will find it. I believe in you and I know you will be okay. Thanks for reading this incredibly long comment and I’m so glad to finally feel like I have a life again.
❤️glad your feeling better ❤️
Update: its back. I’m still injured 9 months on and I feel like this all the time again. 😔
It's very weird that I happened to just stumble across this video now. I have these kind of feelings a lot, and I notice it especially at my job.
Like my surroundings feel like a dream. And it's odd because I don't experience high stress at my job but it's definitely where I notice it the most.
Maybe because that's when I'm most consumed by my own thoughts? I do a lot of thinking at work whether it's about absolute random-but-connected nonsense or whether I'm doing some critical thinking.. I'm very in my own head at work.. and then I'll kind of take a step out of my thoughts and try to take in my surroundings and everything feels so disengaged.
All the sounds blend together. Almost like if I reached up to my face I would find I was wearing a pair of virtual reality goggles and I could take them off.
Like even though I'm standing and moving around at work, I feel like I'm sitting down and watching myself do it from somewhere else.
This got way too personal but this video definitely hit a personal part of me.
Duuuddeee, reading this was soo eerie!!! It was like reading a passage from my notebook, this is exactly how I feel, damn. I mean my job is moderately chill too, I just work the longest goddamned hours, sometimes I think that interferes too, that disarraying moment in which all the conversations and silverware movements shift into one clusterfuck of aushaushtinktinkaush and I can't tell any sounds apart from each other anymore. Honestly, all I fucking do is work so sometimes I also think I'm living in my mind due to lack of speaking with people, like I'm dealing with customers all the time but it's very automatic and simulated, very superficial living, I guess I can't even say I'm living in my mind as much as it seems that I'm standing beside myself, like I can't be bothered to occupy my own body lol Anyway, this got waaay too personal too. How do you get yourself to snap out of it?
This couldn't be more accurate to how I feel on a regular basis. Especially at work! Feels so good to know that I'm not the only person who gets this, thought I was going crazy at first. This video and the comments have made me feel sooo much better about it!
Sometimes I have to look down at my legs and rally concentrate on every footstep whilst I'm walking to try to convince myself that I am actually walking at that present time.
I have only ever experienced this type of thing while having a paranoia-based Panic Attack from being waaaaaay too high. Or just normally high with an over-whelming, stressful thought added. Or maybe it had nothing to do with being high, but since I have never experienced THAT shit Sober, I will gladly just blame it on being too high.
I can't imagine living life like that all the time. Them handful of "life is a dream" moments are way more scary than the scary "real life" shit I know for a fact happened, because yeah, at least there's comfort in not questioning everything that's happening in "that" moment.
The only Advice normal me now would give the me freaking out in that moment is: in the end, you're the only person that could be in control of it, and therefor you're the only person that can put an end to it.
i feel like i'm always in a video game? like when you're controlling the character and the other people are just kind of around you and they're just NPCs and you can kind of hear them but not really and i'm the character and everyone else is just part of the game.
OH MY GOSH YES
Kshithi Dilip lmao i forgot about this comment, i'm now professionally diagnosed✨
@@moonpixie33 I'm glad you got the help you need 💖💖💖
Kshithi Dilip thank u, they told me they couldn't do anything tho and that i just have to "try not to think about it" like what am i supposed to do with that lmao
@@moonpixie33 ah crap that blows I'm sorry, I hope you find the help you need then 💖 you're not alone and you're so valid 💖
I’m in tears... i had no idea that other people felt this way too.
i have been struggling with this as well for almost a year and had no idea what was happening to me... 2 months later but now im in tears too
Every once in a while, I only look at what I call the "surface" of life. Everything beyond a few feet in front of me is blurred and distorted. I feel as though I am floating, and I can't move correctly. I get in the way of people and feel stuck there. It's hard to get back to viewing the world like other people. I get all spacey and everything around me is blurred. I have no idea why it happens, but it's been on my mind for a while and I wanted to express myself. Thanks.
little human it might be dissociation
odetojay maybe
It really only happens when I'm in public (most often during school)
I have the same feelings all the time but especially worse during school,I’m pretty sure it’s disassociation
sharabow it's dissociation not disassociation
Huh that's exactly what I used to feel when I was younger... at least I think. When I look back it just seems like a dream
I can’t believe so many people actually are experiencing this. Really. I first experienced this around 10 or 11 and the feeling was so foreign. I didn’t even know how to describe it and I genuinely thought I was the only person in the world feeling like that. I am 16 now and chronically for over 5 years I have been dealing with derealization and only a few years ago I discovered the name and that others have it. I feel calmer knowing what it is and that I am not alone, but at the same time I am sad many others have to suffer with it. I am pretty much experiencing it day in and day out so I am desensitized to it, but i hate that it is still there and won’t go away. I am so grateful that Dodie has made a video opening up about it because we really do need more awareness of this condition. I hope very much that a treatment is developed soon for it too.
Had this for 1.5 years since I was 16. I'm 18 now. More derealization than depersonalization. I've gotten used to it, so it isnt as bad as it used to be, but it's still there. Hang in there, Kawaii Kat. Hmu if you need someone to talk to: 571-429-1315
da da thank you so much for responding to me. I have talked to people online about it before and I found that it helped me feel less anxious about it and even lessened my derealization’s intensity, so thank you for giving me the chance to reach out to you and if I ever need to talk I’ll definitely give you a call! 😄
Kawaii Kat My pleasure! Talk soon :)
Kawaii Kat I have it too
i come back to this video often to just cry and feel less alone in my feelings of dissociation. thank you for making this, i really appreciate it
www.carolynspring.com/blog/feeling-unreal-depersonalisation-derealisation-disorder/
Dilpreet I’m also Punjabi and it is very painful to live like this.
I have moments when I look in a mirror and I’m just convinced that’s not me. Like dead on ‘oh god what that’s a different face now’. I don’t have this condition, just that one last symptom you described, so its horrifying to hear people who feel like that all the time. Stay strong, guys. The world needs you ♥️
you could be suffering from depersonalization
joschcline Not necessarily. I've had this feeling as well but it's very rare and it only lasts for a few seconds max, so I don't think in this case it's actual depersonalization, more like mini dissociative episodes.
Has happened to me since I was a kid. Looking directly at myself in the mirror always brings on a very distressed feeling of not knowing myself. Very strange.
Same happens to me. I'll look in the mirror and just stare, like it's not really me. It's so weird. Weed doesn't help when I'm in my paranoia depersonalization mode.
This comment is going to disappear under a lot of others, but I wanted to tell you that I heard your song "in the middle" in a store here in France, I so was so supprised ! But I had a lot of fun singing in public one of your songs, it was so weird ! ^^
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Cool!
Vraiment??? Mais c’est trop cooool!!
Mais c'est génial!
Trop cool! Quel magasin?
Pls like this so she’ll see it!! It could really help her!!
Dodie i really hope you‘ll read this because i‘ve been suffering from exactly this for a few years and have finally figured out what it was and how to „treat“ it! And the thing is: this constant brain fog and feeling of drunkness 24/7 is not a mental condition per se, but a way of your body not being able to function properly due to health condition! I mean clearly i don’t know your life and the mental health aspects could be part of it too. But my mental health problems like depression or this depersonalization went away completely since i’ve been working on healing the ‚physical’ things. The first things i was diagnosed with was severe Vitamine D deficiency... reading up on it, the symptoms include brain fog and depression and ever since ive been substituting it its been so so much better! The next big thing, that really really made the difference was finding out i have Histamine Intolerance!! Histamine is the Protein in your body that is responsible for allergic reaction, but a lot of foods contain it as well. When you have Histamine intolerance your body can‘t digest and get rid of the excess histamine from food and it builds up in your body, causing all kinds of problems like: itchy eyes and skin, a runny nose, headaches and : a lot of mental issues. an excess of histamine can block the serotonin receptors in your brain, causing depression and depersonalization! figuring out my diet and these problems were directly connected to my mental health and what ive been going through was a long journey but i have been free of both ever since i‘ve adapted to a histamine free diet. i really suggest you give it a try for 2-3 weeks ( maybe even longer) and see how you feel! it will seem very limiting at first ( it is ngl) but i‘d rather have a limited diet than live in a dream 24/7. there are some good resources out there for histamine free eating ( the histamine free chef for example). so i suggest you read up on it! i am almost 100% sure this is whats causing your problems too...
oh and btw, for me my problems with this have also started when i left puberty at around 17 or 18. a lot of people start to develop histamine intolerance at that age because of the hormonal shifting.
i really hope you‘ll 1) see this and 2) read up on it and give it a try .... i usually never write comments on videos but i wanted to share what ive learned over the past couple of years
also if anyone else thats going through this has any questions or needs some advice please feel free to ask me. seeing all those people here that have been feeling exactly like i have for years is quite overwhelming. i always thought i was alone with this and never talked to anyone about this. the times that i did, people didnt understand. i really hope i can maybe help some people with what ive learned so far
Because I have never experienced or known anyone with Dodie's condition, I'm not going to confirm that it works for that, but I do agree that things like depression and constant tiredness can be very possibly due to Vitamin D deficiency. For months my mom just laid in bed, sleeping until late in the afternoon, had very low motivation, and was severely depressed. My dad didn't know how to treat it at first, and I didn't know about it, so it carried on. Then, about two months ago, she went for a general checkup at the doctor, who took blood samples. Everything was completely normal and healthy, until they got to the Vitamin D part. Ideally, a regular person's Vitamin D level should be about 20-50 (20 being very low, but still sort of in the safe zone). My mom's was 7. The thing is that my family isn't so keen on going out in the sun a lot if we can help it, which is bad on its own (we found that my dad and I are Vitamin D deficient as well). Sun definitely helps, and you are required to get full sun for about 10-20 minutes in the afternoon (the darker your skin, the longer you must stay in the sun). Food isn't a good enough source for the vitamin, so it's either sun or a supplement. My mom and dad are taking Vitamin D3 supplements once a week, and we all can see the improvements. My mom has finally gotten a regular sleeping pattern and her depression has improved tremendously. I'm not in any way saying that the cause of depression is definitely and always a Vitamin D deficiency, but it is worth checking out your physical health just in case. After all, that awfully cheesy saying of, "A healthy body makes a healthy mind," is actually quite often true.
Adding on to this, any number of sleep disorders may also be the cause of the fatigue and depression you're talking about. I have narcolepsy, and the 5 years of my life in which I went undiagnosed are a complete blur. I actually clicked on this video because "I feel like I'm dreaming all the time" really resonates with me considering that time and when I get tired even now: often times nothing feels quite real, and for some people, hallucinations can be quite serious. I can relate to your mom: months just lying in bed, sleeping until late in the afternoon on the weekends and through all my classes during school, no motivation, severely depressed. I wish I had the following to make my own PSA, as it's estimated that 75% of people with narcolepsy don't know that they have it. Hoping someone who needs to see this does...
This could be true in some cases, but traumatic events often cause depersonalization derealization disorder. I've had it for 5 years and see a therapist for it. Stress and trauma trigger episodes of dpd. A big percentage of Americans will experience 1-2 episodes in there life time statistically and this disorder is rather common. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand but that does not mean depersonalization is only caused by physical disorders.
I’ve had it since I was about 11 years old and it really does suck. I don’t talk to anyone about it in my life because up until this point I didn’t know how to describe it without sounding like a total lunatic. The only words I could think of to describe it were “I feel like everything isn’t real” even though I KNOW it’s real because when I was younger everything appeared much more vivid and alive, instead of this view of dullness that I see things in right now. I operate and move sort of like a robot...I have this cycle and I just keep following this pattern over and over again...everyday, as if I work in some factory. It’s really depressing, but I just ignore and deal with it because I don’t know what I can do to solve it or “cure” it. Seriously, I miss the days where I could enjoy the times where me and my family gathered together for the holidays, and the joy/sensation you get from opening a present.
I watched this video when you first put it out and now I’m watching it again because I finally just got this as a diagnosis being linked to a current one and it’s just answered so many of my questions, thank you, it’s so nice to not feel alone in such a scary thing like this