I have been thinking the same exact thing! Hopefully, Ren's health will continue to improve from this point and we can all celebrate his wellbeing together!
Yeah.. it breaks my heart to see him so skinny and ill and still feeling ashamed for a moment of discourage. "No es más fuerte quien nunca cae sino quien se levanta todas las veces que haga falta". He did it then and he's still doing it now. What a precious creature ❤
I watch this with tears in my eyes.. I know you missed out on so many things but you were building your arsenal.. a list you could check out now while you are waiting during treatment is David Bowie top 100 book list.. I know your a fan and he has a few I think you would gravitate towards.. you remind me a bit of him with your creativity and musicianship as well as your artistic flair.. all the best and hopefully 2023 is your best year ever and healing thoughts coming your way dear Ren! 🎶♥️🎶x
Listening to you describe how hopeful you get and determined you are to reach the top of the barrel only to get knocked back down…I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia & I spent 15 years on meds & one day said no more. Idk if that is relevant to the fact that I also experience life in that regard. I have always been the happy, outgoing, strong person that people enjoyed, until I ended up losing faith in myself. I simply couldn’t understand how I was constantly getting shoved back into the barrel even tho I did everything I could to be a good person & do things right it never mattered, the result was always the same. Today the only thing that is different is the severity of losing hope after so many positive hopeful attempts. So many things I’ve wanted to be a voice for to help others only to wind up isolating myself and wishing I mattered to someone bc the feeling of being alone and never good enough is really crippling. Even tho I know how amazing I am and how beneficial of a person I could be to others, I can’t get up the courage to climb to the top again. So I stay at the bottom & hope for my days to pass quickly so that I don’t have to stay in the dark alone anymore. My voice has always been a whisper in the grand arena of screams. As I continued on for so long never being protected I realized that my idea of a God keeping me safe and loved was only a way to have control over individuals while those that tell us are fighting one another for all the riches we feeble watch them collect from the sidelines of fear.
I use odd names on the social platforms bc in the off chance that my name is recognized, I don’t want to admit to the suffering bc I don’t feel that I have the right to complain. In addition to the fact that I don’t want people to know how defeated & depressed I can be. Maybe I’m not as real as I believe I am since I’m faking my happiness. Although when I’m really down-I’m never in public bc I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. So is it really fake, or just disguised. The amount of love I have for the human race is not a healthy trait when the human race is as poisonous as it is. I do know there are some that aren’t, but I’ve not been lucky enough in my lifetime to find them. So I keep my distance and find solace in a hidden identity behind the keyboard. What a waste of a beautiful person inside & out. Doesn’t seem right. 💁♀️
lovin the hair bro! that's quite an achievement about the top 250 films on imdb - ive done films to death so many times n i pretty much know the 7 seasons of buffy the vampire slayer off by heart. also, the recovery process is laiden with barriers - and you have to go thru several periods of change and find yourself getting worse before you get better - stick in there - im 29 n used to be a semi-pro drummer, i will always be a drummer at heart but i miss the whole thing. dont be hard on yourself - to get your thoughts out try writing it down, and i generally despise the need in this society to always 'be good', an how if you're not good, ppl dont wana know, n certainly dont wana talk about it lest you 'bring them down'. the thing is, us humans have a mahusive range of emotions and happiness is just one of them. i am far from being a pessimist - i am merely real, especially having been thru everything that i have [as im sure you have] an i do wana talk about it - we need that 'vent an im so glad of the groups on facebook for this purpose. do not feel the need to be a dancing monkey or think you must justify yourself to ppl on or offline, just watching this video and others like it creates a comfort zone and force of recognition for other sufferers and creates a 'hug in a mug' effect that we are not going thru it alone - not just with CFS/M.E/FIBRO but other chronic pain sufferers.!! connecting with others is key.. when i got diagnosed just over three years ago, i could barely put words together - now look at me!x
I wish I could tell 2015 Ren all about 2023 Ren. Hugs from the future my friend. 💜
I have been thinking the same exact thing! Hopefully, Ren's health will continue to improve from this point and we can all celebrate his wellbeing together!
Oh yes. My heart.
Yeah.. it breaks my heart to see him so skinny and ill and still feeling ashamed for a moment of discourage.
"No es más fuerte quien nunca cae sino quien se levanta todas las veces que haga falta". He did it then and he's still doing it now. What a precious creature ❤
I watch this with tears in my eyes.. I know you missed out on so many things but you were building your arsenal.. a list you could check out now while you are waiting during treatment is David Bowie top 100 book list.. I know your a fan and he has a few I think you would gravitate towards.. you remind me a bit of him with your creativity and musicianship as well as your artistic flair.. all the best and hopefully 2023 is your best year ever and healing thoughts coming your way dear Ren! 🎶♥️🎶x
Read your comment as my throat tenses to not cry.
So cool/sad/inspiring to see this older stuff. Shit really hits home.
Listening to you describe how hopeful you get and determined you are to reach the top of the barrel only to get knocked back down…I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia & I spent 15 years on meds & one day said no more. Idk if that is relevant to the fact that I also experience life in that regard. I have always been the happy, outgoing, strong person that people enjoyed, until I ended up losing faith in myself. I simply couldn’t understand how I was constantly getting shoved back into the barrel even tho I did everything I could to be a good person & do things right it never mattered, the result was always the same. Today the only thing that is different is the severity of losing hope after so many positive hopeful attempts. So many things I’ve wanted to be a voice for to help others only to wind up isolating myself and wishing I mattered to someone bc the feeling of being alone and never good enough is really crippling. Even tho I know how amazing I am and how beneficial of a person I could be to others, I can’t get up the courage to climb to the top again. So I stay at the bottom & hope for my days to pass quickly so that I don’t have to stay in the dark alone anymore. My voice has always been a whisper in the grand arena of screams. As I continued on for so long never being protected I realized that my idea of a God keeping me safe and loved was only a way to have control over individuals while those that tell us are fighting one another for all the riches we feeble watch them collect from the sidelines of fear.
I use odd names on the social platforms bc in the off chance that my name is recognized, I don’t want to admit to the suffering bc I don’t feel that I have the right to complain. In addition to the fact that I don’t want people to know how defeated & depressed I can be. Maybe I’m not as real as I believe I am since I’m faking my happiness. Although when I’m really down-I’m never in public bc I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. So is it really fake, or just disguised. The amount of love I have for the human race is not a healthy trait when the human race is as poisonous as it is. I do know there are some that aren’t, but I’ve not been lucky enough in my lifetime to find them. So I keep my distance and find solace in a hidden identity behind the keyboard. What a waste of a beautiful person inside & out. Doesn’t seem right. 💁♀️
Sending love from what feels like a million miles away. But love knows no distance
lovin the hair bro! that's quite an achievement about the top 250 films on imdb - ive done films to death so many times n i pretty much know the 7 seasons of buffy the vampire slayer off by heart. also, the recovery process is laiden with barriers - and you have to go thru several periods of change and find yourself getting worse before you get better - stick in there - im 29 n used to be a semi-pro drummer, i will always be a drummer at heart but i miss the whole thing. dont be hard on yourself - to get your thoughts out try writing it down, and i generally despise the need in this society to always 'be good', an how if you're not good, ppl dont wana know, n certainly dont wana talk about it lest you 'bring them down'. the thing is, us humans have a mahusive range of emotions and happiness is just one of them. i am far from being a pessimist - i am merely real, especially having been thru everything that i have [as im sure you have] an i do wana talk about it - we need that 'vent an im so glad of the groups on facebook for this purpose. do not feel the need to be a dancing monkey or think you must justify yourself to ppl on or offline, just watching this video and others like it creates a comfort zone and force of recognition for other sufferers and creates a 'hug in a mug' effect that we are not going thru it alone - not just with CFS/M.E/FIBRO but other chronic pain sufferers.!! connecting with others is key.. when i got diagnosed just over three years ago, i could barely put words together - now look at me!x
Hi, hang in there. I'm right there too.
Diane in Eugene Or.
I love that you made it through this rough spot. You got this, Ren!
Ren you are Amazing ❤❤❤
you're so handsome
❤
Hey..so are you still responding to videos bc it looks like its been a year.