“Self-Care” Is Expensive and Selling You Overconsumption
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- Опубликовано: 26 июн 2024
- #overconsumption #consumerism #deinfluencing
Self-care has been co-opted to push a consumerism agenda that is rooted in overconsumption. When you search “self-care” on TikTok you see these aesthetic-obsessed videos of women hoarding skincare products and participating in beauty maintenance and branding that as self care. But we all need to stop buying useless products in the name of self-care. In this video, I discuss how we can de-commodify, de-commercialize and de-influence self care.
Sources:
How ‘Treat Yourself’ Became a Capitalist Command
www.theatlantic.com/business/...
Has ‘self-care’ lost its way?
www.theatlantic.com/business/...
Technologies of the Self: A Seminar with Michel Foucault
www.abebooks.com/servlet/Book...
Personal care product chemicals banned in Europe but still found in U.S.
www.ewg.org/news-insights/new...
The sociology of consumption:
consumptionreadinggroup.files...
The year that skincare became a coping mechanism
www.newyorker.com/culture/cul...
Is The Skin-Care Industry Using "Self Care" To Scam Us?
www.refinery29.com/en-us/skin...
My socials:
@ashleyaviola on Instagram and Twitter/X
Keywords for the algo:
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Self care is reading fanfiction on my couch and not talking to anyone for hours 😂
I just found one of my people!! What are your top 5 ships?
Thank god I’m not the only one! Hello friends 🥺❤️
Mine is Jacob/Bella from Twiligh, Dramione from HP and some others ;)@@nicoledawn911
Me too 😂
This but I also read in the bath
Self care is washing the dishes even though you hate doing it. Self care is having a shower even though it’s easier to lay in bed all day. Self care is booking that appointment even though you dread leaving the house. Self care eating a vegetable even though you’re craving fast food, but you’ve already eaten fast food five times this week so you just eat the damn vegetable ugh
Self care is learning to cook healthy tasty satisfying meals.
Love cooking the veggies lately. I used to buy the pre washed and chopped stuff for ease, but they would go bad before the week ended and I would be upset at having wasted money.
I now go for the fully unpackaged veggies. Even the most expensive of them are cheaper than the packaged stuff. I rinse my cutting board and strainer if I'm feeling that badly, but I chop them up. They last 2 weeks (or more, depending on the veg) instead of maybe 5 days, so if I have an off day or celebration, I don't have to worry that everything will go bad.
I now just chop random veg and cook it with a random protein like an egg, chickpeas, or tofu. I throw it in a roti that I get frozen from Costco and keep in the fridge. I bulk cook meats in a crock pot to toss in for dinner. I really thought it would be harder, but this system is achievable even for harder days.
Very good points!! And true.
😫😫😫💯💯💯i hate doing the dishes, but i force myself when i need too. this makes me feel better ❤❤❤❤
💯💯💯💯💯
We also gotta talk about how "self care" got hijacked into part of women's compulsory beautification. Nobody tells men to practice "self care" by slathering their face in anti wrinkle cream.
Nope. I just searched "self care men" on RUclips and there's a bunch of videos with men telling other men how to get glass skin, how to groom, to apply clay masks, Pharrell is on GQ shilling a cream so that men can look "youthful," etc.
right. you never see men as the face of the new anti-wrinkle cream. it’s always women because our worth is dictated by our age and how “young” we look
@@kaallleeeeand its so so creepy that grown women are expected to cling onto looking like teenage girls as long as possible
I see men taking care of themselves. Once they know depending on the man they try to keep it up. From skin care to shaving routines and manicures.
I remember when man basic hygiene was a gay thing as a joke (no a funny joke) ppl told me if a man use perfume, brush him hair and took care of him skin wasn't straight bc real man are "masculine" with hair, odor and all whatever that mean, 💀that's say many things, the obsesive pairing in marketing between feminity, make up, health, and I'm not again it bc shouldn't be exclusive for females, that neglect can become in risky health issues.
They're "not participating in self care, they're performing" -- this is so true
I HATE that self care has turned into yet another way to make us buy things. For me, self care doesn't have to cost money. Self care is any of these for me:
1) Taking a hot shower
2) Taking a hike in the park nearby
3) Reading books
4) Getting off the internet for a few days
Exactly. I don't see the need of buying a hundred items when you only need four to six, depending on if you separate your face and body wash/moisturizer.
Having a routine is self care for me, and to that extent I can understand using beauty maintenance as a part of routine. I think the big problem is we’ve made it hyper consumeristic and ingrain the beauty standard (and sexist standards) into these grooming habits that are apart of routine.
But baby that costs money
@@uwuiseeyouuwu2819 you can make that argument but when it's money I'm spending on mitigating my cystic acne, I don't see a reason not to make it apart of an enjoyable routine
You took that too far getting off the internet lol I could not live without the internet lol 🤎😂
Self care:
1. Time with family (touching base with a family member)
2. Sleeping in late
3. Going on a long walk
4. Journaling
5. Cooking a nice meal
6. No social media
7. Soothing bath
8. Soft music (Sade, Gospel, classical)
Edit: There's no right or wrong answer. This is just what i do. Please do what's best for you :-)
I would change "no social media' to be "carefull with social media" - I subcribe some educational chanells on yt which is more an more often considered as social media
Yes!! I agree! Also add being out in nature.
yes because you can get walk in nature and in city, both are good but also both gave other experiences@@thatgirlirish5492
Good point. @@katarzynamarzec2291
I like "no social media", taking breaks from all the screens is definitely self care
“People lack identity and think they can buy one.”
You NEVER miss!
Well to be honest, I doubt that the personality they’re trying to buy is any worse than the personality they actually have.
@@d3pr0fundisshots fired! 😄👍🏼
Self care is cooking at home instead of ordering out, self care is going to bed early and not wasting my time on social media, self care is standing up for yourself at work.
Im not sure if self care is cooking cause its just kinda stressful to do but it def is healthier
Just thought about it some more and i actually think trying out a new recipe or making one of your favorite meals would be my way of calling it self care :)
Not everyone finds cooking stressful. And yes cooking at home knowing what you are putting in your body is self care. Self care is subjective to everyone @@selenadamman8417
I treat myself like a plant with self care- water, some sunshine, and rest.
😂😂😂❤💯💯
🌱🌿🪴🌾🍀☘
That’s the best thing i read on the internet in a very long time. Gonna apply this to my life as well. Thank you 😻
And I feed my plants some healthy fertilizer regularly. The human equivalent may be Whole Foods or feeding my emotional needs with tea, a hot bath or deep breathing.
this is perfect. yess.
Self care is doing the dishes each night so I can have a stress free breakfast, cleaning the house on the weekends so I can start each work week fresh, and meal prepping so I always have something good and healthy to eat. It’s brought me more relaxation and peace of mind than any face mask ever could.
Yesss 👏🏾🤣🤣👊🏾
yesssss!
THISSSS RIGHT HEREEEE! There’s so much peace in preparation!
This is so true. I'll add to this - organizing your finances. Reducing stress is the best self care of all.
I'm still working on stewarding my finances well but this is a big one!!@@elizabethpeters8904
self care is me taking a hot shower, letting myself cry, take a walk, blast music, play the sims; anything that helps me feel like ME
Big yes about the sims
@@Kirsten4260 i second that! Yes Sims...
for me it's animal crossing but yeah lol, also i like drawing
“People lack identity and think they can just buy one”
An entire word. That’s literally the theme of the 2020’s at this point.
Yaassss
💯
"People lack identity and they think that they can just buy one."
You hit the nail on the head with this one🎯
I see people buying stuff all the time and I'm think, "That's not even you🥴"
It's really strange out here in these streets.
That’s what all of the tweens in Sephora are trying to do with the Ban de Soleil and Drunk Elephant products. Sad.
@@lb6056 oh dear😬
Right. That’s a fact. It’s sad. But I get it. It’s hard to find yourself because anything unique or different gets cancelled.
@@zeanibanks3950 “cancelation” is for people with platforms. people who act unique, themselves, and different get ostracized and bullied.
It sure is! People have changed and not for the better.
Decentering men can do wonders for self esteem and gives a sense of freedom and peace.
YES! 👏🏻
Changes your life perspective in an amazing way! It is so transformational 😭💕
If you keep choosing to care too much about random men you don't even know, that don't like you, that don't know you even exist & those that are toxic, of course it will do wonders for your self esteem and give you freedom and peace.
Common sense lol
This !!! I talk about this a lot of my channel
I think you can take care of yourself while leaving others alone. It is called self care after all .. and men aren’t involved unless you yourself are a man.
Self care is :
1. Taking a hot shower and finishing off with a cold rinse.
2. Sleeping for 7 Hours after a successful day of ticking off items on my to-do-list
3. Reading good books
4. Listening to informative podcasts
5. Limited, and I mean limited social media
6. Decluttering every now and then
7. Cooking a delicious healthy meal whilst I listen to great music and dance along to it.
Love this
Just wanted to add on point 2, you don't always need to tick everything off your list to have a successful day. Sometimes just having a day is enough ❤
@@moonsummoner_ well said ❤
Now that is living.
I love a good green apple 🍏
I feel like social media has made a lot of people feel that everything has to be aesthetic. Styles of clothes, home decor, even "self care". It's easier to buy things, than to be introspective. People are losing their uniqueness.
Also, that song brought me back instantly! I had that single on repeat 🎶
This is so real, the truth is I have noticed that in recent years with the popularization of tiktok everyone tries too hard to make absolutely EVERYTHING look "aesthetic"If lack of identity has turned them into clones 💀
@@DefpzThis is true, ppl are turning into clones but it is more common in North America. Europe and Asia have very stylish ppl and overconsumption is not too strong over there. Consumption is also more meaningful in those countries.
@@divboo6284hi! Where are you from? I'm from a European country and I wouldn't say that our consumption is mindful 😅
I just KNOW these girls have expensive plumbing bills with the amount of crap they put in their bathtubs 😳
I'm screaming 😂
And a bunch of UTIs to boot.
Maybe it sounds like that, to you. For some other people it might be a feeling of recognition and relief that other people see through this bs too. And it's tragically funny to me that you would think the only reason people might not want to lather themselves and the surrounding nature with needles chemicals is envy. But we all have our egos and biases so.
@@lb6056This comment is icing on the cake 😂😂
@@Marjutificationhow high are you?
An influencer did a short reel saying it was a womans duty to get their nails and toes done regularly. I made a joke about how I thought it was silly to enfource your habits on others and as a result instagram blocked me from commenting for a a few days.
Any reel about beauty that starts with 'women should' gives me the ick but according to instagram I was the bad guy 😂. Since when is pointing out that doing your nails costs a lot of money an issue?!
Fake nails are not even good for your own body, it can cause nail damage 😅
I mean there’s a few exceptions, right? Like Ph balance stuff specific to vagina owners? Sometimes that overlaps with beauty (🐱 washes & things)
I didn’t want to get my nails done for my wedding, and told a “friend” maybe I’d do fake nails for pictures, she laughed and said “are you serious?!”, so I decided to not do anything to my nails at all and was overall happy with my decision… imagine some girls get peer pressured over little things like this 🤦🏻♀️
@@the.sapling Haha yes I guess there are always exceptions and now I'm thinking of a lot of them too... I haven't heard stuff about that mentioned in a beauty context but I guess It can be.
'Women should chose beauty products and practices that feel right to them' is also a pretty good one.
@@J_Bb Yes! Especially in the context of weddings because there are so many traditions. Glad you made the right choice for you!
i'm a nurse in trauma and i have a lot of women who ask me how they look or see themselves in a mirror and say 'god i look awful' to which i usually reply, 'you look like a normal person who's in the hospital. nobody looks amazing here!' i try to be gentle and help them brush their hair and clean up and help them learn to be okay with not looking amazing, because right now they deserve to be forgiving or themselves and willing to be gentle with themselves during the healing process. imo for many patients that is self care--coming to terms with your injury and forgiving yourself for not being able to do everything you used to be able to do. it doesn't mean you can't be frustrated, but it means you shouldn't think of slow progress as 'failure' because in recovery there are only setbacks, not failures.
After covid, my divorce, 2 family deaths, and loss of my job of 7+ years, my self-care was going to walgreens in sweats at 3am for red bull and cigarettes. Some days that was my only reason for leaving the house. Self-care has a gross, unwashed and unkempt ugly side. Sometimes, self-care is survival.
Are you ok now?
this is what i want people to talk more about. our versions of self care isn’t always the “be healthy!” lifestyle. self care isn’t always putting myself together. it’s letting myself rot after another exhausting week or month, because that’s what feels good and caring for myself.
I hope you are okay. Divorce and death of family are so overwhelming.
This!
@@v_bunnyYeah like sometimes self-care isn't about becoming the best version or yourself or doing healthy things, sometimes it's the only thing that gets us through life even if it's messy or running away.
The best self care is a great nights sleep, healthy/ healthy ish meals, daily movement, and peace.
heavy on the peace!
Im 61. When i was a teen, i think i only owned clear lip roller gloss, an the occasional mascara. I miss that era.
I was the same way as a teen…those were definitely the days
@@pt3567 yasss!
You can go back to that era all by
yourself whenever you want. Nobody is forcing anyone to participate in every beauty/wellness ritual that’s available.
There’s things I don’t care to do, but I’m not gonna pretend it’s not self-care to some people. We all have things we enjoy or care about. Not having to tend to my nails for two weeks or my body hair is definitely self-care. So is a nice peeling followed by a body wash that matches my perfume. and no, it’s not self-care to me to ignore all those things, because then I don’t feel good. Even when I don’t leave the house, for the record.
@@NanaHoneyB so pressed. Calm down.
@@S.-cm6qc I’m not pressed. It’s just pointless for people to make all this content about - essentially - peer pressure that they do not need to succumb to.
I’ve never been one to follow trends, so I never understood needing something to be ‘normalized’, in fashion or our era to do it, enjoy it and be content with it. So it’s actually everybody else that needs to relax and just do them.
Whenever I see vloggers or "influencers" describe botox, fillers and liposuction as "self-care" I honestly find it so disturbing. Self-care should be about showing yourself kindness and self-respect not changing who you are to fit into a very shallow mold society deems as acceptable. Real self-care is making sure you get plenty of sleep, staying hydrated, cooking yourself a nice meal, keeping your home clean, taking a relaxing bath or shower, getting plenty of exercise, walks in nature and throw some good music into the mix.
This takes me back to Parks and Rec when everyone jumped onto the bandwagon of "TREAT YO SELF." While the sentiment is nice, I saw a lot of friends take it to heart and almost go bankrupt because they thought it was self care to spend money they don't have on overpriced luxuries.
Yes the treat YO SELF shouldn't make you broke. I treat myself by buying quality food at the store so I can make.myself.some hyped dinners for the weeks to come.
Well that's dumb!
right! self-care is me paying my student loan and bills, saving money, never putting myself in credit card debt...buying stuff you can't afford is never caring for yourself
this video is helping me with my shopping addiction due to depression. I’m trying to unpack this in therapy but this video is exactly how I feel a high & then it goes then i chase the next high because Im truly not satisfied with myself but Im working on being fulfilled outside of what society says is fulfilling.
it’s awesome you’re self aware ❤ I deal with this too. It’s easy to get sucked in!
that must be really tough❤I know I spend too much on beauty stuff when I already had enough and I'm starting to wind it back a bit. I don't need every scent of body butter 🙄
There is a lot of free content to Adress mental health problems here on RUclips.
From Therapists and healed people.
THIS!!!
Hoping things get better for you !
1. Nice hot shower using Dove original body wash
2. Vaseline to moisturize
3. Nice comfy oversized Tshirt and fuzzy socks
4. A good book/movie
5. A good snack
6. Fall asleep when my body tells me to
Perfect self care routine for my 🥰
Ehhhh I like.my.oversized pants because I'm pregnant but I'm RIGHT THERE with ya! Also cooking up a delicious dinner and dessert from Starch I can smile at as I eat it cause I know it's healthy and more quality than any restaurant food. It doesn't get fresher then straight from my kitchen cooked to my taste
you are me, I am you lol
@@akosua8779 YES! I get enjoyment out of making meals from scratch. It does feel good to know I DID THAT when everyone leaves the table full and happy. Cooking is definitely something I consider self care also……
Yes!!! Love this!!!!!
vaseline isn't a moisturizer lol...petroleum doesn't contain water so therefore it does not moisturize. it creates a layer on your skin to prevent water from leaving..
Yesss I’m ashamed to say it but I fell into that “everything showers” on Sunday trend and it did nothing but stress me out, give me razor bumps and waste hot water. Now I shave and exfoliate when I want and don’t make it this big huge routine. I also don’t make Sundays my big huge reset routine because that stresses me out major. I just wash my sheets, tidy up a little (I clean on Fridays) and do any homework for the week. I’m still learning actual self care and not superficial vain “self-care”. I love beauty but the way everyone sees it now is insanely toxic. Beauty to me is a feeling, like the feeling you get when you see a beautiful flower or bug. So after this video I’m going to redefine my habits and my perceptions so thank you!
don't be ashamed, it's all a part of learning and growing :-) at least now u do what u wanna do, which is the most important thing. ur doing great, keep living life how u want to 🩵
🎯
as an autistic person, for me an example of self care is scheduling when i need to run errands, go to appointments, leave the house at all basically, around when transit is going to be quietest, and whether it will be too late for me to take a nap or too early to take the rest of the day off after, because those things are so draining and i really need to rest afterwards.
Absolutely! Thanks for commenting this I feel seen :)
All of this and then some.
It is WILD to me that there is supposed to be female identity in shopping and that some people are actually attached to it more than just playing pretend Mean Girks. My childhood experiences of shopping are crying in the dressing room half naked as jeans get thrown over the door for me to endlessly try on and discard because 'everyone needs one pair of good jeans' but nothing fits, everything pinches or falls off, the lights are too bright, anyone can pull the curtain away at any time and expose you, and your legs are going numb at the bone from standing and walking so long. I still want to throw up if I have to try on more than three things at a time. My gender must be missing.
Shopping is sooooo overrated. I guess I'm not a girl either.
Wtf 😂 u gud?
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're a normal woman, gender norms are bs and you don't have to follow them ❤
Literally. I get made to feel as if I'm a failure of a woman because I don't care about shopping, fashion, or makeup (not saying that any of these are a bad thing, i've just never had a personal interest in them) and the difference in how you get treated is just astounding. Why do girls and women have to keep up this performance just to be considered as fulfilling a key aspect of womanhood? Wish we could let go of the idea that being pretty = having worth
You and me both.. online shopping if I really need something
For me, showering every day and basic dental hygiene is self-care. I'm chronically ill, so maintaining personal hygiene can be very tricky for me. But ever since I started reframing it as self-care and not a mandatory daily necessity, I've actually been able to keep up with it much easier. Being able to see it as something kind I could do for my body helped.
And it's a restorative cycle, because maintaining personal hygiene makes me feel good, so my mood is boosted, which helps me deal with said chronic illness. I also don't feel as guilty and ashamed when I *do* miss a day or two. All in all, it's really helped me in being more kind with myself.
Anyway, wonderful video as always!
I'm not sure if you're taking video suggestions, but you touched upon something in this video that I think would make a good video on its own; the relationship between low self-esteem, trauma, and consumerism. I'm in a few meme groups, and I've noticed a large amount of 'coping memes' end up glamourizing/making light of over-consumption and shopping addiction. For example, stuff like "me going on my third trip to Target this month so I can feel something again" or "healing my inner child by buying her a Barbie Dream House".
Here on RUclips is so many free content from Therapists and healed people to help with working on all these problems.
It can be hard or just to expensive to find a therapist and most of the healing work has to be done by the person themselves anyway.
It surely helped me to grow and heal.
But it's hard work...
THIS.
@@CordeliaWagner1999 all what problems? They only talked ab chronic illness…
@@CordeliaWagner1999tf are you yapping about
Plus, I find it so creepy that those memes were designed and started by Target and Mattel.
It seems grassroots. But it’s the most manufactured. Just creepy.
this is also why i started to love small youtube channels! most if them have an “unaesthetic” life , theyre just “normal” people who dont have this whole fake ass life and have all these new crazy products that change every week 😭😭
I love the small content creators too for the same reason you posted. They show just people living their best lives with no pressure to be perfect or ideal.
Listening to this video and getting a Temu add in the middle just to remind you you're never hidden from consumerism propaganda.
Self care for me is maintaining a clean and comfortable space, having quiet time to reflect. Self care is being bold enough to reject “standards” and define your life for yourself. A person can have hundreds of dollars in products and still be miserable b/c they are chasing another person’s idea of what is acceptable/beautiful.
🎯
I also find it really troubling that we turn our relaxation time into more work. I started doing self care two years ago to honor my body and make time for me to relax, reflect, and refresh. But one day I woke up and realized my "self care" had become a list of things i had to do in order to make myself look acceptable to those I wanted to impress. Not only does this make much of this "self care' about pleasing and serving others in the end, but also was just more work for me to do instead of relaxing like it was meant to do. I wonder if this is done in order to keep us in one of the other forms of consumer the poster you noted includes: the worker
🎯
I have a 7 step skincare routine. It was the only thing I kept up even during the hardest times of depression. It genuinely brings me so much joy to slap on cold serums, sit for 30mins with a face mask. The feeling is unbeatable. It brings me genuine joy. Each to their own!
But I think that's kind of the point. It sounds like you really love your routine and that's awesome! But we've been way too pressured to believe that everyone needs to have a routine like that. 😊
The comment about the never being allowed to be my present self as I am striving for a future ideal and a past younger ideal hit hard 😢
I just love being *"ugly and less fashionable."* ❤
Imagine not having Fb, IG, & Tiktok & not caring abt what's trendy & you simply wear what's comfortable & at the same time appropriate based on the location. I love that I get to follow my routine (eg. brush my teeth before drinking my 1st glass of water or strictly taking a shower before sleeping) & I dont need to insert anyone's opinion to change it 😅
I love that I get to pack what's *necessary* when traveling, walk hours & hours without getting bothered to film myself, & silently discover things.
I love that I can take my time. ❤
When I was a kid, we were poor. Especially when I was a teenager and more aware of it.
Depression was at its worst and nothing seemed to be helping.
We couldn’t (and still can’t) afford all these brands that act like they’re the magical cure to all your problems.
I’m in chronic pain, tired all the time and don’t have the energy to do any of this even if I DID have the time and money.
My self care growing up was going to McDonald’s and MAYBE getting my nails done (if we could afford it).
I went to a sleepover and we did the whole self care routine, and I absolutely HATED it.
My selfcare now is drinking an A&W Cream Soda, having some jalapeño Cheetos and reading fanfic in my favorite PJs.
appearance is important but self care is supposed to feed your soul. standing on your principles and morals. engaging in activities that are beneficial to your health. nurturing your passions. and most importantly: de-centering praise praise from the external world. discover who you are and live for yourself ladies!!
Back in my day we called this "vanity" hence the name of the spot you do all this primping and preening. "Self-care" means you groom to stay healthy and alive. Once your basic needs are met, it becomes superfluous and unproductive.
Edit: I forgot to mention my forms of slef-care
1. Don't overthink (it's actually self-harm)
2. Remember to count your blessings
3. Let go of things that you know you've outgrown
4. Make room for both frivolous and necessary things, not one extreme
5. Give more compliments instead of favors if you find yourself people pleasing. Empower others to care for themselves too!
I hate that the psychological marketing tactics they use work on us even when we know they are doing it. I'm currently trying to practice self care by cutting down on caffeine so I can get more and better sleep.
Coffein makes me so uncomfortable.
It's a highly addictive psychotrophic Substanzen.
A LOT of people have trouble sleeping.
I am sure there is a link between coffein consumption and sleep problems.
And there are so many energy drinks that look so cool and it's so obvious that they are targeting children.
In Germany we have 15 ounces / half a Liter cans of Monster Energy Drink.
They come in so many flavours and the cans look sooo good.
And they are very high on Coffeine.
One can is more than what is recommandet for an adult.
And people wonder why so many children have Symptoms of ADS and else.....
Laser hair treatment and my quarterly facial ARE LUXURY items that I couldn’t afford til my late 30’s. Did I go get some beauty services when I was younger yes but honestly all it did was hurt me financially.
My idea of self care is a weekend at home with no plans, spending the whole weekend doing whatever I feel like in the moment. Even if it just eating and reading fiction all weekend.
I was taught self care in HS by a lady that became almost like a sensei to me. Every lesson was centered around being still, reflecting and internally refilling what was lost or given to people in my world. It wasn't suppose to be "cute", it was meant to make time for yourself to uncover or rediscover or just connect.
The best self-care I ever learned was how to cook for myself (food allergies) and how to manage my money better.
The thing you said about 90's/00's movies... that makes so much sense. I loved makeovers and shopping sprees and always dreamt about those things. I was bullied so it was my way of escapism and magical thinking that one day I will emerge as this beautiful butterfly and people would finally like me. I still do that and I am a mom in my 30's! Not an example I want to set to my daughter...
Who could forget the iconic movie “confessions of a shopaholic” I mean wow this video was so eye opening
Or the books. Which tbh, are so much better then the movie!
@@sharonharris9782the books are SOOOOOOOO much better. Loved that series. ❤
@@caseyhill636I still to this day reread all of them. Love them! The author was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. I'm so sad for her.
As someone who loves skincare, has a simple daily skincare routine, and finds a lot of joy in it, I 100% agree with everything you said. I think skincare and beauty should be reframed as "hobbies". Something that you enjoy doing as a process. Not a necessity. Not something you do to reach an end goal of looking more beautiful.
Interestingly things like skincare, beauty and especially fashion, if done right, IS an exercise is self-introspection and analysis. Finding out who you are, what needs do YOU want to fulfil. What does your skin really need? What kinds of clothes best suits your body and represents you as a person. Taking the time to reflect on these questions can help seperate these activities from overconsumption and being influenced by trends. If you know what you want and what works for you, it doesn't matter what is trendy. You can easily reject trends and new products, because they don't serve you.
I love this view of things because you're right! Using your examples, if you're engaging in finding skincare that works for you, you are doing research and learning about different chemicals and processes and that does develop your mind as well! In finding what works for you with clothing, you're looking up maybe what colors match or complement or maybe what looks good with what lighting, enabling you to also engage in art. Fashion, after all, is a form of expression and art!
The makeover part in movies I felt was insulting. Now you're worth this man's attention. That's why I liked Ugly Betty. They made us wait for a makeover that never happened.
Yessss
I used to love the makeover scene from Princess Diaries but now I’m older I realise what an impact it must have had on me and a whole generation of young girls who have curly hair (as well as other features such as braces, etc).
A capitalist view on self care. Self care is before anything (IMO) eating right, exercising, sleeping well, enjoying your hobbies, spending time with the people you love and so on. Basically working to have the best health as possible. Things that are good for your physical and mental health.
Self care is being the parent to yourself. Taking care of yourself (washing, cooking quality meals, and finding meaningful work)
I always felt weird that my self care wasn't about bubble baths and nails but instead journaling and books this point makes me proud
Self care for me is reading a book in the sun, putting on a face mask and call a friend, going on a walk, singing or just play video games for hours without any human interaction. Self care should make you happy not be expensive work on your body to look a certain way.
I feel so free after ditching lash extensions last May and reducing steps in my skin care routine that are expensive and unnecessary. No shade to people who get lash extensions, but it just got to be too much money and too much upkeep. I also ditched all of my face masks because IMO none of them really work anyway.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
I only use moisturising cream and sunscreen almost daily. I use make up only when i go to a birthday party or a gathering, that is 3-4 times per year😂
Not having to put and remove make up makes me feel so much better.
As a frequent eye rubber, I don’t see how people do those lash extensions
@@XxMercuriiXxfr i hate having things on my eyes😭
Real self care is facing your giants /strongholds and overcoming them to become a new person from the inside which eventually will show up on the outside.
👏 👏
I just recently did this with two people in my life and when I tell you it unlocked something in me I never knew existed. I’ve been flourishing mentally emotionally etc and I am so proud of myself and grateful. I feel good from the inside out . I really took care of my needs
I cannot love this enough! Self care is reading books, spending time alone, journaling, spending quality time with my family, spending lots of time in nature, minding my mental and spiritual health, eating properly for my body and being comfortable in my skin... unshaven legs and all (body hair is NOT a marker of cleanliness, folks are so weird about body hair). Self care is PEACE! When you said something about people lacking identity and thinking they can just buy one... BINGO! I see so many folks with zero personality thinking their things and aesthetics make them interesting. It doesn't.. trends always change.
Im glad finally some people are starting address how out of hand this is getting with having to buy all these products thats actually not even needed.. Its giving the wrong message especially towards the younger generation we need to go back to basics spend time with family, go for a walk with your dog, read a book etc just my two cents
Great video! I prioritized my self care by figuring out my core values and doing the actions which supported those values.
That can be a hard and Rock road but it's worth it!
I’m working on that as well :)
Very enjoyable video. I've come to hate those videos where the influencers click their nails on the product containers as they load up their shopping carts, the sound creeps me out, lol. I definitely agree with your thoughts, and as a member of the mature community, it really doesn't get better as you age. There is still the pressure to buy more stuff that gets exponentially more expensive, whether its "medical grade" skincare or tools that heat up or zap your face. All in the quest to avoid the dreaded label of "frumpy". Very little space is given in this world to breathe and just " be".
I will say I did get myself a “skin care” routine and a makeup routine but it’s simple and I don’t even do it everyday. During my time in graduate school, I put taking care of my physical appearance on the back burner and I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. I do a simple washer, toner, moisturizer from a mid range company and I do a hair growth serum once a week. Majority of my makeup is drug store. I think the key with the “self care” industry, along with any type of consumption, is moderation. The every so often I go shopping it does bring me joy because it genuinely is something to look forward to.
I agree, there’s nothing wrong with hair and lashes and nails or whatever your preference is but it’s in moderation.
You don't have to feel bad for having a daily skincare routine.
what i consider self care fr me:
1. running a bath with lavender scented things i got for x-mas 3 years ago and still have some, with popcorn and a film to watch on my ipad
2. eating mochi icecream
3. cooking healthy and or soul food meals
4. no/reduced technology days
5. drinking fancy tea while reading a book in a blanked burrito
etc
The best thing I did for myself was get rid of social media, I used to be so insecure about face , my teeth and what I look like constantly it was annoying I couldn't enjoy my life cause I was constantly aware of myself (didn't help that I'm in my first year of college where all the pressure is to look like a baddie) and since getting rid of it I can converse with other people and make actual friends and genuinely enjoy our time together cause I'm not focused on upholding this veil of beauty
Thank u for this comment ❤
I’m on the opposite end of self care. I do A LOT of introspection. Please believe when I say the skincare, baths, vitamins, workouts, etc are all VERY needed as a form of self care. It is ritual which is equally as important as getting to know yourself. You need relaxation and a feel of pamper.
Self care is not always hygiene related. For me, it is! I do skincare daily as a way to show up for myself. I invest in haircare because it leads to me-time. Self-care is individual ~
Exactly. This is the comment I was looking for. I love doing my skincare, and yes, it’s part of my “self-care” routine. Eating comfort food and napping, is something else I do for self-care.
a form of "external" self-care for me is journaling and making art. writing and drawing about the things going on inside my head, what i want to achieve in life, how i want to help myself in order to recover from my mental illnesses - all of that has a tangible form, text/drawing on a paper.
Thats very beautiful
Whew I've been thinking this for a while now. Thank you. It's also bizarre to me that "realistic" routines and depictions are trending now at the same time, where people show "social media vs reality". Yet this kind of harmful overconsumption and fakeness are still super present. It's almost worse because people think see that it's "realistic" and think that it must be more attainable or that they're doing something wrong.
I also think filming self care takes away the entire point of self care. Shouldn't it be quiet and introspective time where you reflect on things you want to improve or what you're grateful for? Filming it for money and aesthetics seems like the exact opposite of that.
My self care is spending time with my family, getting coffee with my husband, going to church and going on walks ❤
YES! my womanhood shouldn’t feel like a performance. Thank you thank you 🙏🏽 you just gained a new sub
My self care is reading every day and going to the gym a few times a week so I have more energy and can do more things independently in daily life
Self care is putting away the laundry that's been sitting in the basket for 3 weeks
“People lack identity and think they can buy one” is so true
Completely agree, I’m almost 30 and had a realization the other day… all the stuff we have takes up so much space.. half of it is pointless and toxic to our bodies …. Why do we need so much stuff….
Beauty is self care, do things that make you feel pretty, but buy things you like, not what you feel like you need - coming from other people’s needs
Self care is loving and caring for others … it makes you happy, feel fulfilled and needed!
As a mom of two small kids, I do not practice "self care". I am constantly reminding myself to take *care* of myself because it's easy to neglect one's self when you have to take care of small human beings. I do like the self care videos but it's because it reminds me to take care and indulge once in a while. But you're right. My self care is reading personal growth books, books about the gospel, reading sci-fi...taking a shower after a long day, taking walks. Things that help me be better for my children, and that fill my cup. I loved this commentary! I will be subscribing ❤.
Anyone else allergic to this "hand with perfect long nails, covered with a long fuzzy sleeve, nail tapping on every surface and crunching packages for ASMR effect"? There is even a very specific way they pick up or put down items. I always feel super icky when seeing this.
Agreed. I always block that stuff.
Girl I am a nurse, I always choose sleep over everything else. I put my scrubs on in the driveway, hair care is a scrunchie at a red light. I brush my teeth under the shower ( 3 min maxs). I have one face oil that goes on when I am not mentally or physically exhausted so 1 time a year when I am on vacation. Oh and my health drink is a glass of tap water. Yes, I said what I said, tap water.
The art of window shopping helps with this so much
My self care is washing my hair I’ve neglected for two weeks during a depressive episode and reading FanFiction and eating jalapeño Cheetos with a A&W Cream Soda.
I haven’t had cream soda in YEARS! Sounds amazing. Oh and I struggle with washing my hair too. ☺️💕
Did you just describe me? 😭 Except Cheetos mine would be the bag of Nutella biscuits 🤤 I love them
There is a zero sugar cream soda version and it's amazing. Hard to find but it's so good
Instead of cheetos gimme that pack of Twizzlers ! And finally deep condition my coils cause I know.my hair is thirsty and sad from the neglect
as a fashion girl i find the beauty industry to be the most insidious in promoting consumerism/insecurities. pretty easy to shop secondhand for clothing and still stay on top of trends.
Ma’am, I didn’t know I needed to hear this. I’m a stay-at-home mom and on Sundays I do a time-consuming beauty “catch-up” regimen because I don’t have time during the week to do body maintenance. I have been calling it “self-care Sunday” but the truth is, it’s a big fat chore list like any other day, it’s just that the chores pertain to my appearance and skin health. I am so interested in doing a deep-dive into things I could do for myself that would actually restore my wellbeing. Thank you for this video. Subscribed!
I use Dr. bonners sugar scrub, a pair of exfoliating gloves from dollar tree, African black soap I got on Jerome Ave in the Bronx for $5 1lb brick, argan oil from trader Joe's for my face and not a stich of make up I'm going on 44, look as young as my late 20's. The less chemicals you put in your skin, in your hair, the cleaner you eat, the less products you will need. It's also about embracing who you are.
What led to a really big argument with my aunt and my grandfather, was when he had made a comment on my body hair. He told me that was not "lady-like." I am 15 😂 I appreicate you saying that is a natural part of womanhood...he may have been lightheartedly kidding around but I DID check him. She told yelled at me and told me I was being sensitive. But she put herself in our conversation and she screamed and called me out my name...etc. Even if it was a joke, wtf...and they wonder why I don't come around
My dad makes comments about my leg hair too. I think men just do it to poke fun, and not because they’re super offended by it. Your aunt definitely was out of line though
My self care consists of me spending money but I personally feels it’s reasonable and worth it; going to the gym, nails & toes done, and getting my locs retwisted. I was on the cusp of being a skincare junkie but thankfully I’ve learned to talk to myself when shopping and making lists before I leave so I don’t get distracted. It takes a long time to learn self control when it comes to spending but I believe anyone can do it! Just have to be patient with yourself and stay off social media FOR SURE
Self care for me is a clean house, walks, clean sheets, great movie, health snack and ginger tea.
Tackling chores that ive procrastinated on.
Oh and spending quality time with people who genuinely like or love me ❤
"people lack identity and they think they can just buy one" CALLED OUT !!!
So today... I was shamed for the dark circles under my eyes from a female associate of mine. She said, "girl, you should cover that up." My mind quickly took over and turned her comment on it's head, "I am going through a health journey and don't care if I don't look "perfect". I'm not perfect right now and said dark circles are signs my body is giving me to correct my supplement regiment with my medical providers." I didn't mean to think this so fast, but for the last 5 months, I've been pushing back on "esthetic maintenance pressure" that only hides my internal health state. If folx are uncomfortable with me looking tired (because I am), they should offer help or mind their business. 😂😂😂😂
My self care is getting 5 types of rest:
1. Physical rest: getting enough sleep
2. Mental rest: disconnecting from my adult responsibilities (being my inner child like self with being creative)
3. Spiritual rest: feeling connected to God/ being silent to calm themind
4. Emotional rest: removing people/ things that gets activated often. Taking warm showers, listening to calming music
5. Social rest: being alone/ media blackout
Once rested, I can really center and be able to withstand the world until I have to rest again.
Having to always be "on" or look perfect as a BW, is exhausted. Rocking yourself without the extra glitz and glam makes me feel good.
I hate the phrase “never look like what you’re going through“. I’m not going to fake the funk to put other people at ease while I go through turmoil.
I was born with dark circles and so was my brother and mother. I'm 41 and I wear makeup bcuz I did a fashion show at 24 and we had to. I loved how it made me look, but now I'm at the point of not caring to get made up (a little mascara, but not the works) when running errands, and it feels GOOD.
Dark circles are so cool to me!! I always loved how dark circles looked like for some reason.. but if its for an unhealthy reason (as said in comment) then you should take good care of urself! :D
Thank you for sharing the types of rests you follow, I'm definitely noting them down!🤎
this is what every bw needs to hear ! we are so often told that we must always look top tier, no matter if we have the money for it or not, no matter what we are going through. and that’s just not reality.
As someone who simply doesn't like to wear makeup, I think it's pretty insulting to insinuate that me not buying into the beauty industry means that I'm not "taking care of myself" 🙄
I shower daily, take lomg walks and eat plenty of fruit and vegetables. I'm fine, thanks.
its literally just consumerism rebranded lol. my self care is a phone call with my bestie, my favorite video game and a bomb nap if your self care costs as much as the average rent, you doin too damn much
Audre Lorde wrote about self care in A Burst of Light as a radical response to both a cancer diagnosis and the long-term psychological effects of racism. It used to mean taking care of your heart and body in a way that doesn’t benefit capitalism or shaping yourself for others’ consumption and the “treat yo’self” overconsumption monster it’s morphed into makes me really sad. This was a great video ty!
The only selfcare that helped me was treating and talking to myself the way my bestie would. WWMBFFD.
I love this! Spending unnecessary amounts on products has become too associated with self care. Read a book, go for a walk, watch your fav tv show, SLEEP (my fav) lol. I can admit I used to buy products I saw on IG or Pinterest and felt incomplete if I didn’t. Not anymore & I have saved so much money by buying ONLY what I need.
Self care is being responsible. Keeping yourself healthy in the physical and emotional sense, means choosing to do tasks that aren’t all that fun or pleasant but are necessary for your well being. Like paying bills on time, budgeting appropriately, ending toxic friendships/relationships, getting enough sleep, keeping your space tidy.
I got into skincare last year. You don’t need a lot of products. People have to learn and remember that content creators HAVE to create content because it’s their job. So what they’re creating is not the reality for majority of the population.
I also HATE that companies have gaslit people to think that we are consumers and use that language when talking to us when we are actually CUSTOMERS!
Self care is basically maintenance…but that word isn’t very trendy.
This video made me realize that having a 10 step routine and 5 bottles of the same foundation is not normal and in fact overconsumption 😭 I need to do better
Self care when im alone
- making my bed so i have a nice place to rest in
- comfort foods next to me
- arts and crafts
-spend the day making and drawing art in bed
Self care with others (ideas/options)
- picnic in the park
- rollerskating
- baking cookies
- arts and crafts
- doing errands together
-sitting next to each other for company while we do our own hobbies
-trading clothes
These aesthetic shower/skincare videos motivated me to do my basic hygiene routine when I was in my depression period, but you can do that in low cost. I love aesthetics, but I don't asthetify my hygiene/skincare products because there is no need of that.
This video is so necessary. I work a lot and started learning about the commercialized version of self care. I'm glad to have found this video so I can start learning what true self care is.
Its crazy to me how self care has been hijacked by the beauty industry completely 😩
I understand that for example a massage can be viewed under the same umbrella as say, getting a facial or a haircut or whatnot, it all somehow feels nice to do for yourself but the latter, as you say, isnt really a thing thats 100% really for yourself. Even more when you go into things such as Botox etc. Crazy.
(There’s Gotta Be) More to Life is one of my favorite nostalgic songs from my youth.
The point about never being able to be ourselves in the moment!! So true and insightful!
Self care for me:
-1x coffee a day
-1x green tea when craving more coffee
-Showering 3x a week
-Eating fruit, veges and nuts every day
-Choosing grain food like rice, quinoa, oats or pasta over bread
-Choosing low fat milk or plant based
-Combing my hair out 1x a day
-Flossing and brushing teeth 1x a day
-Washing my face with water 1x a day
-Doing exercise everyday (at my workplace or gym)
-Doing at most 3x productive things each day (Work, studying, cleaning, cooking or gym)
-Always having one or two types of entertainment for a day (a fanfiction, writing, gaming, reading manga or watching a tv series/movie)
-Taking vitamins I feel I need
-Doing stretches whenever I feel like it
-Spending time with my dog
-Only shopping 1x a week for essentials
That’s the most I can do for myself for each day of a week.
🎶”I’ve got it all, but I feel so deprived. I go up, I come down, and I’m emptier inside…”🎶 Yaaaaaaaas Stacie summed it up in that one verse! 👏🏾 Great video!