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Jordan Peterson - A Good Father Helps You to Become Your Best Self
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- original source: • 2017 Maps of Meaning 0...
Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains how the archetype of the wise king manifests in society and the education system and can help you to become functional adult. Why are today's young people starving for responsibility?
Dr. Peterson's new book is available for pre-order:
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: amzn.to/2yvJf9L
If you want to support Dr. Peterson, here is his Patreon:
/ jordanbpeterson
Check out Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring Program, a powerful tool to sort yourself out:
bit.ly/selfAuth (Official affiliate link for Bite-sized Philosophy)
Who else can't stop watching this guy?
Benjamin Kemper me! Omg wake up call! He is helping me move through grief, trauma.. pain
Just found him a few weeks ago and yeah I can't stop watching this guy. Delivers full on
I think he inspires us to do more with our lives, but in a no nonsense way that's not patronizing or makes us sound like children. Sort of the gruff father figure our generation needs, who tells us to get our shit together.
Only cuz it's a good source of information. He himself I think is a bit fukn sick and twisted with his own ego.
I just watched this same video 6 times in a row . I also just forwarded it to my 2 daughters in hopes they watch it .
"If your father rejects you, it is as if the spirit of civilization has left you outside of its walls". This is the best description of how i felt most of my life, but i couldnt name it. He is so good with his presice language. Being able to name something, seema necessary for getting clarity in Life. Thank you Jordan Peterson
Amen, Jones. Brilliantly explained.
Find other role models I'm your life and emulate them. Easy
I felt this way my whole life as well.
I grew up without my dad, and I coach several children who are growing up without theirs. This is spot on, Jordan, thanks.
Much respect to you man
Cam,
I grew up with a father who served in the US Navy during World War II. He was also a coach when I was an adolescent and a young teenager. During those years of my life I learned how a grown man (mature adult) is to treat adolescents and teenagers who don't have a father (or mother). Now, I am the coach doing the same. Thanks to my father for teaching me that very valuable skill set.
How did you get onto doing that! I’m trying to do something very similar
“The more responsibility you take on the more meaning your life has. The higher degree of responsibility that you agree voluntarily to try and bare, the richer your life will be.”
This should be the mantra we all live by. So powerful. So true! Thank you, Peterson!
Sounds like a more complete variation of "from great power comes great responsibility".
Harun Suaidi Yes good reminder. And similar to, “To whom much is given, much is required.”
Kgbme. Dad's leave sometimes get over it pussy
Yeah but only responsibilities in certain areas.. what responsibilities they taking for the ecological crisis?...
I bika, who is “they”? They is you. We’re all responsible for any and every crisis. This is exactly the point of the speech. The more you take the responsibility on as your own, the greater chance you have to fix the problem and find meaning in your life. Blaming other people for the world’s problems, and waiting for a savior, does nothing but call upon death itself to take you away.
Everyone wants more power, but no one wants to take responsibility. That's the current situation
What happens to those who do gain power, but do not accept responsibility?
@@Feber2001 corruption, tyranny or misery at best
But the ones who will, have the world right at their fingertips. Anything is possible for them
Brilliant comment
Clay Allison Power consumes them. Power controls them
My dad is an empathetic, encouraging, hilarious, kind, warm & incredibly intelligent man who has an endless desire to help those around him. When I'm at my low he's ALWAYS there with his optimism and encouragement for me to work on my brain exercises. I honestly don't remember a time he's ever put me down or said something negative to me. He's built up an optimism and inner peace that he worked very hard at during a difficult period in his life- a peace and self-contentedness which extends to everyone he meets. I hope to achieve this love one day. I could go on and on but yes, I am incredibly grateful and lucky to have a human like him as my father and life coach.
It's great to read this man, really. Unfortunately most people here have the opposite. My father myself was extremely tirannical and not only that, explored all ways imaginable to laugh at my failures and flaws. I honestly don't remember a time he's ever put me up or said something good about me. Just to you know, when I was a teen, 14 years, he spanked me hard because I telled him that had some difficulties with one girl in special. He punched me and started saying that I am gay for not knowing how to fuck a girl and he never had help with those things, without no basis to saying that. I became so perturbated by that event that I would only give my first kiss at 20, severely disturbed by my love shyness which I very proudly overcame after with self-development programs.
Katy m you’re very lucky
@@baussier134 god ur dad is a fucking piece of shit for doing that too you. If that was my dad I be glad as hell when he would fucking be dead.
You're lucky! My father was exactly the opposite. I hate him so much.
Thank you for this ray of sunshine in a comment section filled with horror
Wow. Just wow. What an unbelievable human being. Those students in that class are witnessing brilliance live.
Hopefully.
Mr. Peterson doesn't sound brilliant; he sounds like a good father.
Unfortunately many people today have never heard this common wisdom spoken before.
@@AnnInFL Wisdom is seldom common but it is always based upon truth.
inSynced they are lucky them!!
Actually I think this a man who speaks common sense into people. We've bombarded, it's true, about other not so relevant issues that are important but not fundamental. A lot of what Jordan says has been forgotten by mane generations. That's why we grew up so messed up.
Man I could sit through a 10 hour long Peterson lecture with no problem, with RUclips Ive essentially done that lol
same
the man is fucking brilliant.
I did it. Then i started to realise that he wouldn't like it. He wants you out. Up on your feet following meaning!!
Imagine how much better everyone would be to take in just a small bit of his lessons and advice. This is a real doctor.
Well... With bathroom breaks yes
My father passed this week, around 700 people came to the wake and there was a massive outpouring of love and support from friends and family. I always knew my dad was special but this week has really put it into perspective. After hearing this clip and reading the comment section it’s making it even clearer how fortunate I am to have had such a loving honest humble funny supportive man in my life.
I love you dad
RIP
See you again some day
🎶 “How wonderful life is, while you’re in the world” 🎶
My Father was an abusive drug peddler who finally got arrested for having sex with a minor. My grandfather, who raised me during my later childhood, told me I was worthless and would end up as a hobo. And when I was on the streets begging for money, he was just going to laugh...I was 9. Everything Peterson has said is so fundamentally true in ways I can't even describe.
How are you now ?
more power to you.
I hope you're doing well ❤️
hope yout doing well my man!
Happy Easter Much Love!!!
My mothers was a freaking violent nazi who beat me up with sticks and went as far as putting a knife on my throat when I rebelled against her violence and kept telling me I was going to be a loser like my dad and my father,although a loving and idealistic one with a lot of optimism was an emotionnal wreck and a terrible role model who never taught me how to defend myself.Add to this that being a son of immigrants ,I had to put up with discrimination daily growing up in Montreal in the fifties.My life has,despite my great lust for life and strong drive has been a mess of bad judgment and bad decisions,and out of that my brother became a drug addict and commited suicide.
Young people who have the chance to be exposed to Dr Peterson teachings and guidance should consider themselves very privileged.
Sob story! Now get your act together. Sort yourself out. The next generation depends on you and I getting ourselves right, otherwise we'll take the shit show a whole other level bigger than our parents.
What a story... Good luck living a healthy life with balanced decision making coming from such a place. I hope you'll be able to somehow turn it into a positive, like you do sharing this as a reminder to us younger folks. As a 27 year old I feel 20 year olds are privileged. Guess we should all be grateful wherever we are to be exposed to such wisdom.
James Master Slayer I think you got the intent of my comment wrong.The intent was to claim that kid need proper guidance and proper parents to get a chance at a good life and that a lack of that can be so destructive.And that such guides as Dr Peterson are a godsend for a confused kid.As far as myself in relation to others,I have done a lot of good around me.Always been there for others and have changed lives for the better in small and big ways.Actually ,caring for other before caring for myself has been my downfall.
John Le
Y'know, I've never had to experience a situation where my father wouldn't teach me and my mother despised me, and I truly am sorry that you had to go through that. But have you ever given your life and your ways to Jesus? Man, he's the real father, even though you can't see Him, you are still able to feel His presence and love. The Bible says:
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!" Isaiah 49:15
He's able to fill you with joy, true joy, joy that no human can even imagine, my brother. He's the true Love, I guarantee you that you'll be filled with Love.
Forgive your parents if you haven't and look for Jesus, He's still at the door of your Heart, knocking, waiting to be answered.
With Love,
Your brother.
Amen. (From someone who did not enjoy a good father/son relationship.)
Man, father's make such dumb mistakes, I never understud why my father leaved my mother, we were an all right family, my father had his mistakes like, he yell a lot, and my mother was the opposite, totally calm and caring(overbearing) so he leaved the house and all hell broke lose, I'm 22 and it's being Almost 12 years, and it took me so much courage to go out into the world, my relationship with my father it's not what I wanted but we still talk from time to time, the absence of my father has hit us hard because, my mother never married after that, we never had a male figure who could encourage us, 5 months ago I found this man, Jordan Peterson, he's the closest thing to a father I had, and thank God for that, my brothers are going through that same path but I can change that, at least I can motivate them to be something else, and all of that it's thanks to Jordan, he gave me courage
thank you sir
I’m gonna be 22 soon , and I would like to know who my dad is. Too many just didn’t have one.
Good for you, man. Good for you. 🙌
That’s so relatable lol
Let’s hear your dad’s side of the story.
"it really kills people not to have their mother, they just don't recover from that" R.I.P. mama
Unless your mother is smothering and overprotective. It is no good what so ever to feel or be dependent on your own mother. You won't make it in the real world unless you learn how to detach yourself from your parents and become self-reliant. It does not matter if you make them proud or not or even what they think because the only thing that matters is what YOU think and what YOU want to do with your life regardless of their approval/disapproval.
Never let yourself become dependent on others or becoming a slave to other people's opinions of you. You will delude and stress yourself out unecessarily. Strive to become the best person you can be no matter what people think of you and always maintain an outward focus, not inward focus. That is the key to success and happiness.
@@True38 it's not about your mother being smothering but losing your mother at the age of 8 and your father abandoning you and you're left alone in this world where nobody else cares about your well-being
the last part gave me a tear, i am 17 and i would love that this gets to as much young people as possible, he is totally right
Infentie MK you answered to yourself, make it happen
So important for men to learn to be strong, competent, and a healthy "rock" for the family. So important! My Father was weak and absent, I paid a dear price - so did those close to me. But yes, we can recover, FIND A MENTOR & GET STRONG, FACE THE STRUGGLE! You can!
Doc, you're the father that every man of the millennial generation needs.
....and Baby Boomers, too!
And gen z
And GenX….
Well said im a fatherless child but i take my responibility for myself from now on!thank you mister peterson you are my figure!
me too dude. lost my dad when i was too young to know him but i'm picking up the pieces. Boy its hard, but we do it because the next generation needs us to get our act together. ! Peterson is my hero!
You picked a good father. :)
I don't think I'm wrong when I say that many of us are drawn to Peterson because he radiates the aura of the father we didn't have. That's a bitter-sweet realization if I've ever had any.
tyson alba d
better no father than shitty father
I had a father like this... I remember one time I wanted him to be proud of me so I brought home 100 in mathematics .. he told me exactly those words: “for me you will always be a zero no matter what”.. I’m 40 now and can’t forget that.. but i work as a learning disabilities specialist and I’ve built meaning in my life and I’m happy now.
Your dad was a zero. Sorry you had to hear that from him
my dad made me the man I am today - beyond grateful for him.
Derek Stark same...
Derek Stark yep, pass it on.
my dad too, he made me the cowardice beta pussy i am today because i grew up being scared of him and never got along with him
Emmanuel Goldstein
😦
same
I grew up without a father. My mother handled my upbringing pretty well and I haven't felt disadvantaged in any way, was able to break through adversity, do well in my academic and social pursuits. That is, until life started to show its ugly, satanic face. Suddenly the satanic reality of destruction, betrayal, psychological breakdown and ugliness of existence hit me hard on all fronts - geopolitical realities of ethnic cleansing and war, viciousness of women and betrayal when you're at your weakest, encounter with a monster within - seeing what I and the world around me are capable of... Hell is a real place. Thank you for being a father for me, Jordan. I hope I can survive this and find beauty again.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you are facing reality with rare self-understanding, which is the first step in your tough journey. It seems you have the intelligence and inner resources to make it. Continue to be your own champion and seek good examples to guide yourself.
"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he won't depart from it".
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right".
Two scriptures to live by. Thanks Dad and Mom for bringing me up correctly and with structure. I am a better person because of your love and support.
I literally got emotional just hearing that.Amazing description of that emptyness a father leaves to his son when he s not interested.But Its repairable,you just throw away the fragmeneted pieces and carry on.
do you really think it's just throwing away the fragmented pieces? As a guy who is trying to get over this it doesn't seem like that is the answer.
The damage is done, there's no way to get what you never had, you incorporate trauma and move on, like with much of life.
But the emptyness never truly goes away.
(Fatherless since 10 yrs old, and still suffering for it)
I've found it beneficial to both establish quality relationships with other males, even if they're your peers, and also to form a sort of artificial father/mentor from various role models such as characters in film (Rocky), writers of books (Marcus Aurelius), and other wise men such as JP himself. It's not ideal, but you can learn from these men and build yourself up using some of their wisdom and guidance.
You will always suffer for not having had your father, but you will also have insights and understanding that people who had their fathers cannot fathom. It’s a curse and a blessing, depending on context and circumstance, much like anything else.
I always kinda knew my anger stemmed from the fact that my father chose to not be in my life. I felt a rage that derived from knowing that this kind of start in life would put me behind my peers in development. I can express that now, but at the time I felt totally out of control of myself at times. Although I have analyzed myself thoroughly over the years, watching this particular video of Dr. Peterson's seemed to make my understanding that much clearer. I have never heard of him until today, but I have probably watched 50 youtube videos of him speaking on a wide variety of topics over the last several hours. I actually cried during one video where he cried too, speaking on the topic of the many young men that are crying out for someone to encourage them. I think I got so emotional on that video because for the first time someone actually put into words the way I felt about my upbringing. My mother was a hard worker, but never supportive or encouraging, and still isn't. I only say that because it's important in this scenario. She is my only family, so therefore, the only one who could truly play that role. The fact that she was incapable of that for whatever reason, may be the dominant factor in my success. I have always been an overachiever and excelled in any sort of competition, be it mental, physical, etc. I think that I was always on a mission to validate myself the only way I knew how, considering I wasn't getting it elsewhere. As a result of this type of drive, I am wondering if the reason I am a trash talker, in sports mostly, is because I had to be the one to pat myself on the back. I was always conscious of the type of odds I was defying with all of my accomplishments. Not to sound arrogant, but I definitely got the most out of my physical ability and potential. I am a little under 5'8", so it was extremely gratifying to be able to best athletes much much bigger and stronger. I don't know if it's my personality type that led to this type of drive or the desire to show my father that the biggest mistakes he ever made was leaving my behind to think I was unworthy of his love and attention. Either way, I do know that the truth is the other way around. He was not worthy to stand in the presence of the man he wished he could be.
This man is an incredibly insightful lecturer.
If u have daddy issues
LMFAO it happens.
Majority of inmates come from single parent (biological mother only) homes.
Hyper masculinity (thug culture) more easily proliferates by way of compensation, acting out what a man "should be" in a tragic parody.
Because their faders were incarcerated?
@@daveruda or they left the women and the kid. Different reasons, same result.
Absolutely. The lack of good fathers is an epidemic and no one talks about it. Especially my poor black community
“Thug culture” lol
You either become a thug or a woman pleaser from that
Wow he is on fire with one valid point after another
Im in Vegas WYA
He Was .
My dad lost his father at age 9. It has massively impacted our relationship. I'm amazed how well my father did bouncing around foster homes as kid. He has a photo where he is holding my sister when she was younger and the caption just says "king" as a reminder of how far he has come. I can't believe how much of an ass I was just because I didn't know much better. Fortunately, we have a good relationship.
this man will simply not stop blowing my mind
My father abused me for years and I had socially crippling issues for years...
The last 5 years are positive and have been great... but the bad starts took 30 years to overcome...
Now I have many who see me as a mentor and I am grateful for everything I achieve.
ravenshireful Thank you for sharing this Sir. I was in a position similar to that in my own life until my father walked out when I was 10. I'm only 19 now, and I am still trying to overcome the problems it left me with, but knowing someone else out there was strong enough to overcome it all gives me great hope. Thank you so much sir, may God bless you and all those you love.
Wish I had a father like him! Straight up!
i love this Guy holy shit. everything he says feels so honest and wise and it all makes sense
Dud30ify From God's lips to your ears, Jordan is a saint in my mind.
What have you done after hearing his message?
I love my mother and father. They always wanted for me to succeed in life no matter what goal I had. They have always been encouraging, but not overly critical. They aren't perfect by any means, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.
The way he says "and no one's ever told that" breaks my heart
The freedom that entails freedom from responsibility leads you straight to the jaws of the oppressors.
Lucien Milner On a social level, this is typically how autocrats come into power. Think Napoleon.
You can see how serious he is about the topic and almost feel his pain in the voice. Great.
I'm so jealous of his students! I cried while listening to this because I come from a broken family. I didn't have a wise and encouraging father. It was very hard for me to recover. Thank God for mentors who stood as my father figures!
My courage came from my rage at my father’s abandonment and rejection. I was a serous success, in my career, all in reaction to his sorry self.
My dad was sociopathic. He never really cares about anyone. He's a very weak man emotionally, suffering through multiple episodes of depression. He was always negligent and never gave support, kept on mocking every time I cried when I was a. kid. Luckily he supported me financially, which made me the better person I am today.
And my mom considers me her husband for her emotional needs. Pathetic people.
Thanks for sharing...I had a similar experience.
I've found financial support only gets you so far. Sure not having college debt and having a car is great. But what is the point of life in general if you have no one to live it with? I need to finish 12 rules for life.
Also my last name is also Joy, small world.
Try to comfort your mom. She has had a rough life, too. I hope you will have healing.
@Ligeia D.Aurevilly Well no one wants to live the literal worst life they can. My comment stated that money doesn't buy you happiness and success alone doesn`t work either. Because what is the point in success if you are the only one that knows about it and can benefit from it.
Kinda combining Peterson's idea of meaning through responsibility with an individual/group of people that also find that responsibility meaningful.
@Ligeia D.Aurevilly It seems selfish to make a foundation (core meaning in life) in something that only benefits myself. Finding meaning in work that is also meaningful to others makes it exponentially more meaningful in that it helps people outside of myself.
Like if Bill Gates kept all of his computer ideas to himself and no one else came up with them or knew, it would be less meaningful to him than if everyone benefited from his accomplishments. Instead of it just being, "yeah I did something pretty cool", to being, "Not only are these accomplishments pretty cool but they are making a difference in someone's life".
I have 4 children, been married 30 years and can tell you from experience, that he is dead on. Thanks Doc!
I'm not religious but God bless you JBP and also the people who shared their personal comments below
carlotapuig how dare you "god bless him" while not believing in God. That triggers me
F I hope that's a joke
carlotapuig Not religious great tell the man you as a real person really praise him which he will much more value than asking a non-existent invention:thing (god) do something (bless) for him which is obviously not going to happen. your own praise is high value in itself😊
The Porcupine she didn’t have better words. forgive her for she meant well. see my advice to her which may have been enlightening for want of a better word.
My father was meek and timid, my mother was a boisterous tyrant who bullies my dad every day. I grew up making so many mistakes, so much crime but unfortunately for the law system in my country, I was too smart for the feds. But seeing the way my life turned out, I WISH I got caught. I WISH there was someone who taught me how to be a real man; disciplined, responsible, brave, kind, to be dangerous without ever having to prove it. Happy Father’s Day, guys. Appreciate what you have. And if you don’t have a great father figure, train to BECOME the father figure.
Word
This video is kind of heart-wrenching for me but also makes me feel very proud of myself. BOTH of my parents were very critical of me and disinterested in who I am, to the point I realized at 16 that I was totally on my own in the world, that I could not rely on my parents for any sort of guidance, that no one cared about me, and yet I've still developed myself into a successful and respectable man at 29. God it's been rough though. All you parents out there, watch this video and take notes. Your children need you, need your encouragement and support.
I am 31 and a single dad, and disabled veteran. I grew up with fatherless because he is a drunk in and out of prison and my mother passed away when I was a kid. I jumped around from family and friends my whole life, trying to get a bond with the head of the Family for guidance.
I'm not one for sharing personal stories, but I want to say that it's very difficult to raise a son with no structure of my own.
I have sympathy for single mothers, like the one I had.
but if you are a decent guy, try all you can to make your spouse realize that if being independent means having fatherless kids, than they are self centered.
Rumple 4_Skin Thank you for your service and may God bring peace and happiness to you and your child/children.
I believe you don't have to be perfect. But you have to try and care. Kids are very smart. They will know. Best wishes to you and your son.
How are you disabled and how much money do you get from the American taxpayers every month
Hey man, just wanted to say, don't worry about being perfect. You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be "good enough." Do the best you can, learn from the mistakes of your parents, watch JP, and try hard not to do anything terribly damaging, but don't fret over your imperfections. It's easy to tell from your comment that you care and truly want to be a good parent, so you're already doing a fine job. Congrats, and best wishes to you.
The more I grow up, the more I realise how little I know, the more I am proud of my dad. How much he does for others, how much he can be relied on no matter the insanity around him. He was tough, but now I see it was because he wanted me to be better. I would be lucky to become anything like him.
I grew up without my father but got to know him as I was growing, then finally we became friends. My role model for being a Dad was my Uncle. He was everything that Jordan Peterson is saying now. Strong, kind, loving, never afraid to tell his kids how much he cared about them but challenged them to be everything they could be. Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there who weren't given a manual on being a Dad and are just trying every day. Bless you all.
I hope the kids in this class realize how fortunate they are to have Peterson as their teacher. I’ve become a strong adult through no help of my father. I can only imagine what my confidence would be if he had been mindfully raising me rather than being irresponsible. I’m trying to instill confidence in my son. Hopefully it works.
This guy shows real passion for his work! Respect.
"You're way more than you think" - pure gold.
The MSM's portrayal of this man is completely dishonest, very troubling.
They don't want us to think for ourselves...
Jordan Legend Peterson
Jordan Bollocks Peterson.
Happy Father’s Day 2019 to all the dads out there!
I love my mother but if it wasn't for my dad I would be a wreck. I am so grateful.
Happy Father's Day dads.
mangaka08 lmao
eat shit
“We have to be more than we are because if we aren’t, we’re not going to survive”
🔥🔥🔥
A truly great teacher.
My relationship with my father was lacking. He wasn't a bad person, but had issues he never addressed.
Growing up I had to find other role models, and fortunately I did.
For one, my moral compass I got from my mother, a good foundation that helped me navigate life.
I still struggle in life, but I like to think I'm doing well given the circumstances.
Now my father is very sick. He will not live very long, perhaps a number of months or a year.
I'm trying to be there for him, trying to forgive his past mistakes.
I wish he could have been a better father, but he still deserves a good son.
Watching this at the age of 40, my father hasnt wanted to do anything with me since I turned 18. Its tough, especially wondering why. But I learned how important it is for fathers to simply be around. No self-pity for me though, just something to rise above.
My father; although he got things wrong sometimes, only wanted the best for me and I’m eternally grateful and fortunate as well.
I get things wrong with my kids more than I get things right. I raised my voice or scolded them at least once every few days from the time they were 3yrs old to about 8 and tapered off. Now that they are 10, 12 & 14 it happens maybe once every month or so. It might be because they're more mature now or I've improved my patience but I still can't forgive myself and trying to repair my relationship with them. I spend almost every other night thinking about how horrible or scared they must have felt and if I've scarred them. Every night I stand at their bedroom door and silently say sorry and pray that they will be healthy and resilient humans. Maybe some day they will let me know how I've impacted them good or bad. I'm good and confident at a lot of things but parenting is a puzzle to me.
He taught me to love unconditionally. We sat at the kitchen table after my 2nd failed marriage, I did not cry, I knew my pops was a man's man... this man paved a road for his children, who saw greater things for his children than they could ever imagine. At 34 years old I took responsibility for my failures, did not take time to feel sorry for myself, dusted myself off and worked everyday since that day. Five years later I now have a home, a great job, occasionally travel for work and took on the responsibility of running his ranch.
That sit down at the kitchen table, where seldom was said yet written all over my pop's face and my face was the most humbling moment of my life. Thank you dad, I love you very much!
Sounds like a good man. A lot of the commenters here had shitty parents. mine were ok. I think I learned what do do and what not to. I hope. Its hard to understand how some dads treat their kids so bad.
I was raised by a single mother, though i did visit my dad every weekend or so. But a lot of the time he flaked on my bro and i. It takes some time after high school to really realize the effects of not having a male role model, i don't really think the "father" itself is mandatory, but male children NEED a male role model in their life that they're close to, i was extremely close with my grandfather but he died from cancer when i was in 3rd grade. I didn't realize how much it would effect my life, but now i feel like i'm just trying to motivate myself and become successful. As it stands the only one to blame for my failures in life is myself, i;m the reason im in the position i am in.
I am totally aware that after the age of 15 or so, i was smart enough to figure it out. But i had an attitude that i knew better than the world. I had a ton of apathy towards schooling, basically anything i'm forced to do i hate for some odd reason. I was really put off of reading, but i recently picked up 1984 and i have to say i'm enjoying it.
That's rough. The same thing happened to me in terms of apathy towards education. It takes a lot of time to readjust and realize that education is a miracle if you don't encapsulate it in one of the worst environments for children and adolescents in the Western world.
The father-grandfather part of your comment reminds me of markafc83's comment about the "nuclear family" environment. If your dad is a miserable father, chances are you have NO male role models for a very long period of time. After all, almost all primary school teachers are female. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but that means there's an unduly high responsibility on one single person to perform a difficult set of tasks with no mandatory education or experience with those tasks, on the simple merit of that person having impregnated someone.
And who can blame our fathers? They got blown into the same flawed system under even worse conditions. Most of their parents were _way_ worse. The cycle continues.
We really ought to spend more time with psychology and even parenting in high school. Even the realization that my parents are simply fucking terrible at parenting in every conceivable way is very liberating. Because that shifts my attention to changing myself, rather than hoping for a change in someone else.
But it's not going to happen. Education systems are way too conservative for that. Dutch schools still teach Latin, a convention from the fucking Victorian Era. In the meanwhile, progressive fields like science or finances or construction or whatever change radically almost every single decade.
These realizations are very empowering, in my opinion. It makes us realize that these issues are so ingrained in society that we can't hope to fix them on our own. That means that in the meanwhile, we should direct our energy at what we can change, which is ourselves.
Dude this is so similar to my situation and resonates so much with me.. I'm just about to enter college and I'm trying to stay strong, need to remind ourselves that only we are responsible for our future and happiness. LETS GO
I had a father, but he struggled to lead his own life, let alone lead three young boys. He was there, funny sometimes, very smart, but generally distant. He didnt teach me what I needed - perseverance, honor, rough and tumble play limits, caring for my younger brothers, direction, affection, bravery, limits, and the strange world of females. I admired and loved him, but went out into the world unprepared for so much. When I became a father, I didnt have much to go on and made it up as I went along. I lost so many opportunities to teach my son so much. But, despite me and my shortcomings, he has become quite the man. And his make friends are starting to make references to Dr. Peterson as they raise their children and confront the world. Dr Peterson, Im mentally approaching you, respectfully, with reserve, and saying to you in a forthright manner, I love you.
I've always believed that the sole job of the parent is to train their children for adulthood and do what they can to make their children better then them.
That's very unfortunate, my parents weren't much better which is why I use their mistakes as a template for what NOT to do.
Some people shouldn't be parents...
These students are very lucky to have such a wonderful prof.
I watched a Camille Paglia lecture recently where she talked about how potentially toxic the 'nuclear family' environment can be because it places too much responsibility on two people in contrast with the multi-generational family of old.
When I think of my own parents I can see how this might be true. They are both good and caring people and I had a pleasant childhood for the most part. But we were transient due to my Dad's job so there was never an extended community or family network for us to fall back on. The family was it. In the warmest possible terms, I can say that they didn't really know what they were doing and I think I figured that out at a relatively young age. And that's no poor reflection on them - perhaps it would be expecting too much.
Hey, could you by any chance link that video with Camille Paglia ?
/watch?v=r8-jRZiXbe4
I'd say its fair to say most parents don't really know what they are doing. They muddle through, try to do the best they can, and what happens, happens. As long as they love you, and are trying to do what they think is best for you, almost any mistakes can be overcome.
My cousins had to deal with a mentally unstable and emotionally abusive mother in my aunt. But my aunt still lived close to my grandparents, and my cousins had them to fall back on for guidance, stability, and as roll models. They all turned out beyond great. So yeah, an extended family can be incredibly important.
But family can also be what you make it. My dad dated a psycho bitch because the sex was good and he was a perv. This crazy lady had two daughters, one of whom was only maybe six or so when he finally wised up and left her (she broke in and trashed his place to remind him he made the correct choice). The older daughter was able to move out and make her own way, but the younger daughter was stuck. He went to the courts and lobbied to have her care transferred to a cousin of hers who was stable, who eventually adopted and raised her. She turned into an incredible young lady as well.
It is within all of us to be the right person making the hard decision.
She may have called herself a feminist but I don't think that's sufficient grounds to reject someone's points based solely on her definition of being a feminist. She is certainly not a feminist in the contemporary use of the word, thankfully. Her comments on the nuclear family make sense in the context of her observations of the extended (working class) family. The nuclear family is more clearly delineated and demanding in its distribution of labour.
Enigma of the Absolute the multi generational family is greater than a nuclear family on its own but the nuclear family is literally the lynch pin and the most essential part
My father and I had a lot of fights and there were times that we spent months without talking to each other.. he is definitely "tough" with what is wrong or right and with what is to be a man and the values of a right society ...I always felt challenged by him because, I wanted to be a better MAN than him or stronger or smarter or talented and I couldn't bare the idea of losing to him. Also I used to be so angry all the time with him for why he used to be like that while my friends had their parents more "Easy going".
Everything quite changed when I left my parents house and the thing that he told me when I left was "dont make any stupid mistakes because for now on you will suffer the consequences from your acts by your own" Man I was pissed that he only said that...
It took 3years for me to be able to come back home, and see them again and I have to say.. I'm glad how tough he was and how he created that environment that I had to be "stronger" or be a better man and take responsibilities even though I was living with him...
I used to hate that he is like that but, after living by my own I realized that what he did was the best thing that could ever happened to me.. Moving to another country, finding a job, getting in a super competitive market and realizing how to live in a "new society" was not easy at all... It was tough .. but It was never closer of what was the pressure that he did in my head when I was there... btw nowadays we are in a really good relationship better than I ever thought it could ever be... And now we are good friends!!! Life is really interesting!
"Life has meaning with responsibility" What a statement!
Responsibility builds character because it makes you face that which keeps you weak. One important aspect of responsibility is that the taking on of responsibility must be suitable to the individual so taking the path to responsibility must be unique to that person. There are many different paths to becoming responsible but it is the how and why that should be strongly considered. Don't produce children to prove to the world that you are responsible or to think it will automatically make you a better person.
I started listening to Jordan when my son was about 1. He's now 4½, and everyone around loves him. The coolest thing I saw was when I picked him up from kindergarten 2 months ago, and he had to wait for me as the staff had a message - when I turned around, he was standing with his legs spread a bit, arms folded behind his back and chest and chin up, observing the street.....
4:35 - 5:47
In my opinion there are better psychologists than Jordan Peterson, but these words are to be learnt and written everywhere.
Every human being deserves to listen this piece of video.
"It really kills people not to have their mother. They just don't recover from that." Yep. My mother was my whole world and she died too young. I miss her all day every day. I will never get over it.
Im crying so hard.
JOSUE DAVILA be a man
Cringe alert 🤢
My dad was my superman. Just glad I got to show him what I was made of before he died. RIP, Love you man....
My father was absent for almost all of my pre, during and post teen years. Thankfully I have pulled through with help from my wonderful mother, great friends and most recently, the man in this video. Truly encouraging and inspiring, Dr Peterson has pushed me to be my best without even meeting me. Absolutely remarkable man.
Jordan Peterson should become the new "Mr Dressup" and raise a whole new generation of young people.
"There's a market for responsibility"
Looks like he took his own advice over the next couple years.
This comment deserves to be on top
Damn man you’re absolutely right.
Jordan Peterson is not without flaws. But one things for certain, he's helped more people globally than you ever will.
100% my case with father. It is bloody hard to act in the World. Every victory takes so much psycho energy and every failure destroyes, so you're the only one to encourage yourself. Be good father. Father's love dissipate obstacles. The absence makes paper monsters on your way.
"Do something difficult, do something heroic!
We have to be more than we are, because if we aren't
we are not going to survive." Jordan Peterson
I know that comparing doesn't help sometimes, but...for those who grew up with no father...I'll tell you, sometimes it's better to have no father than a real bad father. I can say I grew up in hell with weekly madness at home and it's hard to repair those scars it's a life's work, but possible.
True!
My father is an alcoholic. A lost cause. I have, for half of my life, been afraid of the masculine side of me, it has reared its head from time to time but never fully blossomed. I am 22 years of age.
Masque Rade you still have time. Ur only 22. Make the decision NOW!
You have plenty of time. Few know who they are at 22. You will get there.
Masque Rade Dang man. We’re the same.
I wish I was in that group of young people who are lucky enough to have this man educate them. RUclips is really something. I get a little piece of it and I’m grateful for that
4:35 "Because life has meaning with responsability ! The more responsability you take on, the more meaning your life has !" So true. In other words, “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find something worth suffering for.”
Tough luck for all these children who never knew their father.
My dad used to torture and drown me. He would beat me with his shoe and laugh as I fainted covered in blood. Want to repeat your bullshit sentence? I WISH I was fortunate enough to not have had a dad.
haha...great answer Chance Huff
There will ALWAYS be a person who got it worse. It's not a good argument to say you are that person.
My mother is the oedipal mother and I have an absent father.
no father is better than shitty father
It's evil how maligned the role a father plays in our society for atleast 3 decades now. Fathers are treated like their a dime a dozen I've noticed since I was a kid, also without a father. I had to learn so much on my own. Love this man!
Honestly i don't understand that either. A good father is very hard to come by because it is hard to be one.
My father never taught me anything good but have some addiction to women.
Im 24 almost 25 and i cannot help but cry when i hear this man its like the father i wished to have when i was young. I think i got my act together but im not really sure of it.
He has just described my father, my brother and me. Me a total lack of encouragement throughout life but fortunately I figured out that I must go out into the world and face it. My brother was the same I guess but is overprotected and still lives at home at 44 years old. My father has bailed him out financially and told him he has nothing to worry about. Looks like this is all too common.
Thankyou Dr Peterson for making so much great content available to people. I find your lectures inspiring and they motivate me to study and read more. The fact that I can 'be in your classroom' like this truly demonstrates the power of the internet - and it is a power for good.
My dad had 5 kids by the time he was 24. Worked 2 jobs, bought a house, never missed church, dinner at the table, lawn mowed, paid for private school, and always had fun. Still married 63 years. He never heard of "trying to find myself" during the hippee days. He was king of his own little castle and we adored him.
He's right. My father was absent in my childhood and came back to town when my brother and I began showing our athletic abilities. He tried to get us into football and it was fun until I made the team and got hurt. When I decided not to continue he was furious, but by that point I didn't respect his opinion of me. After realizing that the only value we had to him was him living out his athletic childhood fantasy through us, I became reclusive. It took me years to get to a place where I was confident enough to actually try again and now I'm a manager of a small finance company. If I ever have kids, I know exactly what NOT to do. Raise your kids, it's not easy but it's simple.
I’ve got tears in my eyes now, my past makes a little bit more sense now and I feel vindicated for subduing my ego and remaining in an environment which was bad for me but good for my children , with very satisfactory results
What I find interesting about parenthood is that no matter what qualities your parents may have, you'll always learn from them. Are the parents good? Then you know how you should act yourself. Are the parents bad? Then you know how you shouldn't act. It all really boils down to how you decide to interpret it.
Love this content
My dad was a quite type, hardly speak anything but always get his job done, whenever something happened he always there, we hardly speak but my mom always told me how he always talk about all of his child and how proud he is about us, kinda makes me happy and i learned one or two things just by watching him closely
My father is a good man, always cared for me and my brother.. Sure i had some bad moments with him like most of us.. But he never encouraged me, to do things, to say they are possible.. Thank God Jordan Peterson is a father figure to so many people including me
Thank you for posting these videos of professor Peterson and for spreading his word and knowledge!
When your father sucks, your heavenly father can heal that hurt.
Yes! He is The Heavenly Father for the fatherless on earth. And he loves us, that's why he gave us his only begotten son Jesus as a sacrifice to have a fatherly relationship with us. And through Jesus's death and resurrection from the grave that relationship is possible. But it is only through Jesus that a man, woman or child can come to God the Heavenly Father. To anyone reading this and wants to have that relationship, go before the cross in prayer, ask Jesus to forgive you of all sins, ask him into your life and start to trust in him and him alone. God will let his love for you be known to you through his Holy Spirit. Tomorrow on this earth isn't guaranteed but with Jesus everlasting life is promised.
@@samconduct1356 lol
No he cannot.
Definitely. Heavenly Father has helped me on some of those painful days, when my Dad is terrible. It gives me courage to face the pain.
Ahahahahaaa. Funnily enough, my "heavenly father" turned out to be just like the other one
My dad is an absolute legend. If I turn out to be 20% of the man my dad is ill have had a good life. He's the most gentle, funny, wise and hard working man in my life. He's knocking on 74 and we live in different countries which sucks but I've learnt so much from him. Raise a glass to the good dads encouraging and disciplining their children correctly.
To all men who will become father Please always say positive words to your kids until they become adults it will make them strong and confident....never tell them they are weak and useless they will believe it until they are adults......and this to women to who will become mothers...💝
Grew up without my father's presence, now I am a father and being there for my son and teaching him all the things I wish I knew brewing up is the most important thing in my life.
Man, this guy touches my soul with his words.
I'm with Tasty on this, quote of the decade “The more responsibility you take on the more meaning your life has.” My father told me he was proud of me when I was 28, had a PhD and was happily married. Much love to my hero... but too late dad. Jordan, you're doing the job of a generation of dads. More power to you. Assuming your philosophy remains humanist I may even find myself with strange political bedfellows. I trust it's not my judgement slipping now that I'm past my sell-by date.
Mr Peterson you absolutely rock, I just wish that 5% of our politicians and teachers had your attitude and the strength of your deliverance then this world would be a better place. Your eloquent technique together with your sense of reason behind your statements is a breath of fresh air in some what a polluted city. Keep up the good fight and may God give you strength, patience and endurance.
And yes everyone reading this you may wonder if you have seen it before, I have written the exact same text on another one of his videos. I just wish I had the time and patience and I would of written and posted the same message to all of his videos, but doing it twice you get the point.