Carcinogen Maxxing
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- Carcinogen Maxing
Quick edit this video is satirical and although I make jokes I do not intend to downplay the seriousness of cancer. With that said here’s the video. Everywhere you look nowadays you see news studies articles about how meat gives you cancer plastic gives you shit cancer gives you cancer and honestly, I feel like we are looking at it through a one sided lens. What about the people who actually want to get cancer, today we are looking at the people who have dedicated themselves to carcinogen maxxing. This has probably been a phenomenon for a while now however it kind of exploded in popularity following some posts from 4 Chan about carcinogen maxxing. In a thread about pizza toppings, one anon says his favourite way to eat pizza is eating them completely burnt, he says that it doesn’t really taste that good but they are carcinogenic. Another anon asks what carcinogen maxxing is and the original anon replies he is min maxxing his food consumption to increase his carcinogen intake to eventually contract cancer. If you look into the science of eating burnt foods anon is indeed correct that they do give you cancer and its to do with the burnt food containing carbon free radicals that can ionise cells and create cancerous cells. Now that I have explained what Carcinogen Maxxing is you might be wondering how you the dear viewer can partake in carcinogen maxxing. We are going to be looking at several methods of carcinogen maxxing starting with cigarettes. Everyone is vaping nowadays everywhere you look, you walk past a group of gangsters and all you smell is blueberry muffins. What happened to the real men who were blowing literal poison clouds every time they took a drag. I suggest we bring back smoking and let the public have a breath of not-so-fresh air again. Back alley Is all the money there? Good ill make sure to say something nice about ciggies in the next video. And did your boss tell you about the super donation pack I will advocate for reducing the smoking age to 0 why let children have secondhand smoke when they can get the real thing am I right? Did you hear that? Hey who's there? Shit it’s the feds. You never saw a thing. Now for those of you carcinogen maxxing smoking a pack a day is a good place to start but it will still take you about 20 years or more before you start seeing real results. The fastest way to carcinogen max is to age rapidly, the likelihood of cancer development is like 1000x more likely when comparing 18-25-year-olds which is the majority of my audience and 65 + year olds. But because this is impossible for now at least the next best way to carcinogen max is to become horribly morbidly obese. The cancer rate skyrockets as excess weight piles on so you are going to want to increase your caloric intake by drinking seed oils. This is especially true if you are also burnt food maxxing as the burnt food will have less calories than normal as some of the energy is used in combustion. Even using all these methods in combination, you will still only increase your chances by a couple % points especially in the first few months/years so if you think about the chance of getting cancer as a 1 million sided dice that you throw every day and say smoking a cigarette adds an extra side that gives you cancer you still are looking at a long time before your carcinogen maxxing sees you any results. This is one of the main issues for carcinogen maxxers is that you can’t just inject yourself with cancer cells either as your immune system will just destroy the pathogens quite quickly. So what do you do if you want to carcinogen max as efficiently as possible? There is only one known solution to this dilemma and it's not easy to acquire. Weapons-grade plutonium. Does it have to be weapons-grade probably not, does it have to be plutonium also probably not but it just rolled off the tongue nicely. But yes radioactive material is the fast-track method that anyone can do it's just a matter of finding a sufficient energy source which although difficult is not impossible given the fact that one guy in Florida managed to find an unexploded nuclear weapon and used it as an energy source till the feds came in and ruined the fun. So now you have the radioactive material you can administer it in a number of ways such as intravenously or via demon core exposure
This guy really just appeared out of nowhere and started making the most unhinged vids, and im all for it
Fr
I tought this guy was here for a while but he poped up 5 months ago and is posting bangers ever since
I remember being there for one of his first
Yeah, where did this dude come from and why is he so incredibly black-pilled?! Respect!!! 🔥🤘
Indeed sir
As an alcoholic, I'm already nearly there.
exactly, that’s some horrible underrepresentation right there in this video
Alcoholic Lives Matter ✋
As a lvl 300 league player i can say that is acurate, nothing gives you more cancer than a yasuo 0/10 screaming at you.
solo/duo will give you stage 4 terminal brain cancer in 3 games
rookie numbers im lvl 470+ with 6 years soloq experience, i think i don’t even have brain anymore it’s just one big tumor that replaced it at this point
@@chillNinjaLowSkill i gapped you so hard, im lvl 516 in 2 years. I can no longer use anything but my eyes given the tumours in all my nerves
@@VestigeFinder depends on the elo
@@SonOfSparda03 try lvl 712 with 1.3M masteries on ww. I don't have cancer, i am cancer now
I'm going to speedrun this shit.
You can apply euthanasia more easily in countries like the Netherlands, Belgium and Switzerland when you have cancer.
Don’t do the league of legends step, that’s going waaaay too far
breathe in burning electrical tape fumes
My run is going pretty good 35 y/o 210 lb 6"1. Pack a day smoker for almost 20 years, multiple hazmat exposers, unprotected entry into house fires, and currently remolding my house it was built in '53 with asbestos everything.
@@alexdryver5090 Never give up never back down bro
Looked up the account.. damn level 500.
Straight up 40 games in 24 hours, it was Arena but still.
*DAMN*
I havent played 40 games in 1 day lol im addicted but its not that bad
@@StoicStick my site was set to french and i thought 15 jours meant 15 hours.
You don't need plutonium when you can just extract the radioactive material from smoke alarms. They're plenty and legal.
nah… mostly alpha from americium.
but.. if you grind the small pellet into dust and inhale it… lung cancer fast and cheap.
South Park episode when their nuts were in wheelbarrows.
holy shit that was hilarious they cancermaxed their balls just to get medicinal weed lmao
My first thought of the video
I am infertile from eating scented candles. The
The
guys dont look at this guys community tab.
Don’t look at his community tab.
the fuck the-
The
This video hits different when your mom just had a biopsy done on a pancreas tumor
My Grandpa must've been cancer maxing he's had it 5 times. Kidney, prostate, skin the others just kind of blurred into the general pretense of cancer. Think one might have been lung.
add a bit of red 40 to your ciggs to increase their cancer potency
As a professional career firefighter, I literally cancermaxx every time I go into work. The actual gear we wear is literally cancerous
A guy in Brazil got sick of this because his kids found a shiny metal ball . It was the cesium nucleus of a tomography machine.
He's using the same plutonium and thorium as samonella as a callback to his original inspirer.
We can't rapidly age? Of course we can! We have the graveyard shift for a reason!
As a carsinogen maxxer myself I have been working the graveyard shift since 18. I am 25 now but look 50!
I am a chemist and I can tell you that you can definitly just inject yourself "liquid cancer"
Well as someone with a biomedical science degree I can tell you that 1. The immune system would most definitely destroy most of the cells evidenced by a study in the 50s by Dr Southam who injected hundreds of prisoners with metastatic cancer intravenously and none of them developed cancer. Even as recently as 2009 as part of an insurance scam a Taiwanese doctor injecting live cancer into patients for insurance fraud didn’t lead to any of them developing cancer. The cancer being injected wouldn’t have the vasculature required to grow or survive unless it managed to find its way into a cell which is extremely rare for native cancers but foreign cancers would be destroyed immediately due to the body recognising it as a foreign entity.
@@StoicStickI think it was a joke.
Original comment got outstudied
@@StoicStick 🤓
@@StoicStickI'm pretty sure he meant injecting chemicals that are carcinogenic. I'm no chemist but feels like that should work given how seriously people take those warnings.
Sadly the Florida man story sadly isn’t real… I searched for it because I was a possibility due to the fact that it’s a Florida man
Would've been legendary if it was true.
But that should not discourage you! There are likely dozens of unmanned, nuclear powered lighthouses left around the north pole left from the former Soviet Union!
I looked it up, and sadly they have been removed 3 years ago, but before that there were thousands of them!
@@hanneswiggenhorn2023 I actually read about them like a week ago and thought it’s an interesting topic. Didn’t knew that those were removed as Russia has a massive problem with its nuclear stuff as some of their atomic submarines just rot in their harbours and they used the ocean around some of their islands just to throw reactors and other nuclear waste in it.
And don’t ask them about their nuclear weapons that were lost during the 90th and nobody knows how many got lost and who own them know. But also the US lost some of their bombs but just not that much as Russia
Instructions unclear. I am now green and have 20 missed calls from disney
5:02 if you try to get on that plutonium grind you really gotta find the sweet spot between it doesn’t mess up enough stuff and it’s killing me before I can get cancer
This is a great video and idea, your actually a very good RUclipsr!
You're *
@@guythat779 was that needed?
@HaydenTheOcelot for me mostly
It really just bothers me to see it
Ill thank you to pay attention in the future but it's not deep
2:22 @StoicStick running with a 300lb podium is killing my sides
kinda weird to mid max carcinogens when you can go near your local nuclear plant if you have one and just eat some soil around it, or just hang out near it. or buy a geiger counter and scan everything for a good beeping sound and then consume whatever beeps more, like uranium plates or something
The feds? Security? You sure there aint restrictions for that
Actually, unless the nuclear plant is violating some seriously strict health laws, the soil should be no more carcinogenic than anywhere else, background radiation has been proven to be increased, on average by no more than 0.004%. The thing is, despite severe accidents in the past, nuclear technology has evolved to a point where it is considerably safer than coal, oil or gas. If you want to get cancer, you'd be better licking up the soil around those plants.
Nuclear power is both safe and clean so good luck with that
Chernoble soil will be good for carcinogen maxing @@JayJager
uranium glassware, my local antique store has a collection
Advice for aspiring carcinogen maxxers, hexavalent chromium, you need to do a few things but the compounds are accesible, get any chromate or dichromate salt and use like gfuel or preworkout, a half gram daily should get your results quickly. welding stainless steel without a respirator will achive something similar although slower, you can make this stuff at home if you have a hunk of chrome somewhere and a blowtorch
im gonna move to chernobyl, start smoking 10 packs a day and become a full time alcoholic to maximize my chances of getting cancer
If you move to ukraine you’d get drafted so you wouldn’t be able to spend time in Chernobyl
@@goldenfiberwheat238 well if they come to chernobyl theyll realize how much fun it is to bask in the ionizing radiation and forget about drafting me for the war
@@user-vg5zx4lx8m you have a short memory. When the war first broke out, there was a battle in Chernobyl and they didn’t discover that
Damn both my best friend and my dad got cancer. They are lucky
bruh why is this in my recommended
Its a sign
This is your calling to start smoking 13 packs of cigs a day
RUclips wants you dead cuh
i had a friend (still alive) who lived literally 50 mts away from a National AM Radio Antena, when he was 15/16 he started growing b00b5 because of the radiation of that tower, and then developed breast c4nc3r nad had to have chimio
You have to use uranium dishes for the speedrun
Amazing job on this video keep them coming also can I ask you something as will
Whats up dude
@@StoicStick one what gave you the idea for the video? Two what gave you ready for your channel name? Stoic it’s a very pacific name
I imagine myself as the viewer and imagine what type of video I would find interesting. Stoic stick came because its a half rhyme and the words start with similar letters plus the channel mascot is Marcus Aurelius who founded stoicism
@@StoicStick ok good to know and can I ask you something else
Sure
Personally I drink 200ml of benzene but carcinogenmaxxing is different for everyone
I work taking xrays during operations and am exposed to radiation via that on an almost daily basis. I'd say I'm putting in the work. Also that nuke photo is just a meme and isn't a real headline sadly
Asbestos mixed with radon gas is an amazing way.
I'd rather live 20 years less but live to a much fuller extent . *Lights fent*
hey stoic, my grandma smokes 2 packs (yes 2 packs) of cigs a day every day for the last 30 years and she still hasnt gotten cancer. are you sure this guide is up to date with recent patchnotes
I feel like we need a second part with other methods
Bro really meant it!1
instructions unclear, cured cancer, now the cia has my family
I don’t have enough money to sustain my drinking and smoking habits. So i might stop carcinogen maxxing
You don't need to stop, there are also free ways to do it! Instead of smoking, you could just be close to streets full of cars, and the sun can help you too!
Honestly d4 through masters elo in league actually has a special type of contagious cancer in the form of intellectually inhibiting tumors. Singed invades some of these people irl and actually gives them cancer I swear.
Just take a shot of Carbon tetrochloride
4:47 lol
Guy made 5 minute video full of medical advice just to sh*t on LoL.
Petition to research condensing cigarettes into pure smokium
3:00 YES!!
you can live under granite, as it gives off slight radiation
Gradeaundera secret account?
Even tho these videos are promoting poor healthy they are still educational
Bro the description is literally just the entire script.
Based
cancer giving cancer
worst anime betrayal
Lowkey been unironically and unintentionally doin this since I was like 12 years old. Started smoking got super fat the whole nine yards (yes at age 12 I was smoking a pack of Newport menthols a day) . I’ll be gone by the time I’m 32 🗣️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️💯💯💯
_you go past a bunch of gangsters and all you smell is blueberry muffins_ loool
Guess I should put down this vape and roll up some more cigs
Yeah I have kids “what do you do with them?” Chinese propagandist music starts playing
Im subconsciously on it 💀
the quickest to get cancer is playing League of Legend
Just live your life don't think about the demon inside you dragging you to hell.
Is being covered in soot considered carcinogen maxxing?
*cough* hexavalent chromium *cough*
Cancer cells really love sugar.
Can’t wait for todays homework
Homework?? Wtf was I on
Yeah anyway I meant upload.
Probably gonna take another day probably upload tomorrow 6pm GMT
@@StoicStick all good man
Hell yeah, bring cigarettes back. I hate vapes.
Reminds me of that one south park episode
If you wana carcinogen max just become a firefighter that’s what I’m doing to speedrun it
Microwave with the door removed
I already got cancer before so I’m a winner and you guys are losers
Carcinogen slayer?
🤫🧏♂️🗿=weakest carcinogen destroyer
new strat
the story about powering the house with a nuke is satire
*books flight to Chernobel*
Ah yes. Piperazine(???)
Bro never heard of cardarine
HOMESTUCK REFERENCE!
Do cigarette aerobics
tbh smoking cigs is a better experience then vaping might just be personal preference tho
The anti-cig propaganda is a government conspiracy to make us less cool.
👍
💪💪💪🚬
You don't have right to call yourself carcinogen maxer, if you still use filters on your ciggies
Just like Randy
goonmaxxing to the moon
Normalize benzene huffing. 🙏💪
you need more subscribers
god i love you. w channel
4:29 which is probably just a shitpost
Family history genetics help
I got asbestos on deck hmu
Smoking is good?
If you want cancer
Smoking IS cool. Same as not wearing a seatbelt. There's literally nothing you can say to change my mind. I quit, I don't want cancer, but you cannot tell me it doesn't look cool when good looking young people smoke cigarettes.
Give me sad lookin goth chick with a roll up and I'm yours.
Now, the smoking does actively make people look worse over time, yes. But that's besides the point. Does cool plan for the future? Cool has never been about that. Cool has always been intimately involved with cigarettes.
Fuck I miss tobacco. I might go buy some tobacco. Virginia gold or Port Royal Rum and Wine, Champion Ruby, fuck Drum it tastes good but it doesn't hit. Oh, White Ox there's the fucken ticket. That's your boy right there.
kbye