Married To A Controlling Wife

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  • Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024

Комментарии • 124

  • @project9uc886
    @project9uc886 Год назад +74

    My wife is disrespectful,manipulative and deceptive..and we fight most time because I resist her control over me..I really regret
    marrying her..

    • @jeffreyscott705
      @jeffreyscott705 Год назад +7

      I wholeheartedly feel the same same way! It’s very frustrating and disheartening

    • @lalosalamanca8574
      @lalosalamanca8574 Год назад +8

      Leave its that simple. The problem you don't respect yourself. If you did you would not be having that problem

    • @trevorarsenault8353
      @trevorarsenault8353 Год назад +11

      @@lalosalamanca8574not that simple for everyone like for me my wife threatens to take me kid from me

    • @munterboy1744
      @munterboy1744 Год назад +10

      ​@@trevorarsenault8353mine too, and I know my wife will make it impossible to see my kids.

    • @thecalling1452
      @thecalling1452 Год назад +3

      Sorry you had to go through that mate

  • @jefftube58
    @jefftube58 8 месяцев назад +10

    Thank you for this lesson. Men MUST refuse to be controlled.

  • @mileator
    @mileator Год назад +9

    One thing that I find, doesn't work, is disengagement.
    There isn't anyway to try to stop the fighting and disengage without her finding even more hurtful ways to coax you back in to an argument.
    The argument only ends when she wants it to.

    • @TomlynAdvisors
      @TomlynAdvisors Месяц назад +1

      married 38 years . . . last 15 have been controlled . . . every year it gets worse. Professionals say its' due to my wife's deeply rooted insecurities - only which she alone she can work out. Like her father, my wife starts a conversation with a question, which then becomes an argument.
      What is a good exit strategy ?

  • @purpleangelwings6579
    @purpleangelwings6579 2 года назад +20

    Sounds like what you describing is a Jezebel spirit !!!!

  • @niravpatel6615
    @niravpatel6615 4 месяца назад +4

    Controlled by arguments (mostly brainless), withholding intimacy, and financially!!!! Moved out from toxicity in November 2023. Being emotional person it’s hard to stay away from my little kids….at this point clueless how I should handle things further.

    • @TomlynAdvisors
      @TomlynAdvisors Месяц назад

      married 38 years . . . last 15 have been controlled . . . every year it gets worse. Professionals say its' due to my wife's deeply rooted insecurities - only which she alone she can work out. If I bring our counseling, it will be like hitting the beaches at Normandy.

  • @lingnarzihary2492
    @lingnarzihary2492 Год назад +10

    Stay strong my fellow men.

  • @mywaveinwoodswoodperfumes
    @mywaveinwoodswoodperfumes Год назад +11

    I feel like I’m walking on eggshells when i watch a video like this
    Am i a victim of control ?

  • @stanleywhite2740
    @stanleywhite2740 Год назад +11

    44yrs married, last 25 I have been controlled. I may be done.

    • @TomlynAdvisors
      @TomlynAdvisors Месяц назад +1

      married 38 years . . . last 15 have been controlled . . . every year it gets worse. Professionals say its' due to my wife's deeply rooted insecurities - only which she alone she can work out. If I bring our counseling, it will be like hitting the beaches at Normandy.
      Other than outright leaving . . . should I seek out a counselor first ?

    • @ohnoitisnt666
      @ohnoitisnt666 Месяц назад

      They have no fear anymore because the system has removed all consequences from their actions. Women can do whatever they want now and most of them are nuts.

  • @Frisby412
    @Frisby412 Год назад +11

    Thank you for this video. I'm finally implementing this despite her actions, and it feels really good. Thank you.

  • @amybostic1439
    @amybostic1439 Год назад +13

    I tend to be very controlling and although I am very aware of this negative action, sometimes it comes from insecurity and lack of communication. When my husband began to pull away and not talk to me about things I got worse. It’s amazing how people can’t see the things they do, or helps their spouse by bringing up problems when they begin. They just give up on Everything. Now he’s been gone since June and I’m not the only one to take responsibility but I’m the only one who is trying to fix myself and work on myself. I’ve gotten help and he thinks he doesn’t need any. He’s not himself and there’s more than this involved but watching someone you love turn into a stranger is very sad.
    When what you’re doing is subconsciously happening, which was my case I never wanted or tried to do it, you can change. What’s sad is that many of us aren’t even given that chance

    • @BubbaGump777
      @BubbaGump777 Год назад +16

      Amy, being aware is one thing, reversing it is another. There are men who want to be controlled, and there are men who don't, it's pretty much that simple. Men who don't want to be controlled first off, want to be respected. You are not showing respect for him if you are trying to control him. As a matter of fact, you are pushing him away. If it continues, he will find someone or something that doesn't want to control him. Shutting down is a form of self-preservation, but it is lonely for him too. And, as far as "not being given the chance", how much is enough? What do you expect to happen? You are not loving him when you are trying to control him and he knows it. Actions must match words...

    • @rosiegiesler4705
      @rosiegiesler4705 Год назад +13

      With respect although you guys were married or together in a partnership if you are controlling that is a trait you pocess not your relationship. Even if it is to do with lack communication but if your still controlling even after fixing the communication problem the problem isn’t the communication it’s you. And I have to say when you say things like ‘I’ve gotten help and I think he needs help but he isn’t getting any help and he’s not himself’ these actions and statements are inherently a manipulative and controlling thing to say because you are determining his needs for him. I would say don’t worry about him and his needs. Although you may still love this person like a husband or partner he is not your partner anymore and the likelihood of you getting back together is very very slim. Sorry but relationships with a history of control don’t have a long shelf life.

  • @bigbobsreactions5982
    @bigbobsreactions5982 2 месяца назад +2

    I should’ve stood firm with my no about wanting to go through with the wedding… I let her antics get to me again and now I feel like I’m in a rabbit hole because getting out of the marriage is a lot more difficult than it would’ve been getting out the relationship before marriage 🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

  • @stevecaswell
    @stevecaswell Год назад +1

    Excellent view points!

  • @josemartinez8835
    @josemartinez8835 Месяц назад +2

    My wife controls me emotionally because no matter what I want to do or say she always argues against it and if I resist or persist with my point she throws a tantrum, Then I get upset and we get into this big arguments. We stay mad at each other for days eventually things pass but the resentment lingers for a long time . Been married for 39 yrs and she has been this one ever since. She controls out kids she controls other people even her own mother. She just wants things done her way no matter what. It’s frustrating for everyone around because we don’t have the freedom to even pick our clothes for social events. She is not even trying to change and that’s the most frustrating aspect because she feels like she doesn’t have to so I don’t know what to do😢😢

    • @clementokoro5563
      @clementokoro5563 9 дней назад

      @@josemartinez8835 your wife must be a sociopath.

  • @Setapartfilmz
    @Setapartfilmz Год назад +2

    Amazing video!!

  • @stanleywhite2740
    @stanleywhite2740 Год назад +2

    Excellent post. I can check all boxes.

  • @user-kh3zl5op6y
    @user-kh3zl5op6y Год назад +5

    Sounds like great advice I will look forward to more. I feel like we are in constant disagreement.

  • @zukargnomer9531
    @zukargnomer9531 5 месяцев назад

    Thank you for your video...

  • @Phillebrew
    @Phillebrew 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you so much. I needed this. I was so blind I couldn't even see it

  • @wread1982
    @wread1982 4 месяца назад +6

    41 and never married and no kids 😊

    • @andromeda3780
      @andromeda3780 2 месяца назад

      Why haven't you?I'm a female.
      I watch this to understand why some men enable this behavior by their wives. And why some wives are so ungrateful when they have compassionate and supportive husbands. I don't know why people can't be simply kind and respectful to each other.

    • @Silvyka99
      @Silvyka99 2 месяца назад

      I am a controlling wife. I came from a controlling family and was people pleaser. I want to be perfect and I want my husband be perfect. I tell him what to do and he does and it's easy for him. Until i realised i hate the sound of my voice and I have become like my parents to me. I hate that. I want to relax I don't want to control anyone. It's just so scary . Like if I lose control over my husband I will not survive myself I am in a victim's mindset here. Being in control is addictive and its hard to stop. So lots of underlying reasons why I'm controlling, not just being ungrateful . I don't know how to stop controlling = relax

    • @TomlynAdvisors
      @TomlynAdvisors Месяц назад

      @@Silvyka99 married 38 years . . . last 15 have been controlled . . . every year it gets worse. Professionals say its' due to my wife's deeply rooted insecurities - only which she alone she can work out. Can't take much more of the constant ordering around and criticism. If I bring up counseling, it will be like hitting the beaches at Normandy. What would be a good exit strategy ?

  • @robmoore100
    @robmoore100 Год назад

    Good advice well worth watching

  • @jilly8372
    @jilly8372 2 года назад +7

    I’ve controlled out of fear.

    • @jilly8372
      @jilly8372 2 года назад +1

      I’m good Jane

  • @thegravytrain1129
    @thegravytrain1129 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you. I thought I was the only one going through this.

  • @matthewclark5488
    @matthewclark5488 2 года назад +4

    GOLD!

  • @fodaysesay3953
    @fodaysesay3953 2 года назад +7

    Physical and emotional control in my marriage

    • @ryanbates7259
      @ryanbates7259 2 года назад

      There is hope. See my story here: ruclips.net/video/HG-LiyBpaL4/видео.html

  • @pavie21
    @pavie21 2 года назад +7

    I feel control by my wife esp on a long distance marriage cos she constantly blocks from talking to her on social networks and she knows how i love and cherish. I know she does that just to hurt my feelings

    • @ryanbates7259
      @ryanbates7259 2 года назад

      I'm curious how you know this to be true? Has your spouse specifically told you this? We often assume things based upon our own biases and past experiences. Be careful.

  • @rickmckillip7382
    @rickmckillip7382 2 года назад +17

    She gives me the silent treatment does not talk to me unless she has something to say or a request she wants me to do everything seems to be her way or no way

    • @munterboy1744
      @munterboy1744 2 года назад +1

      Sounds like my wife, do you have any kids?

    • @rickmckillip7382
      @rickmckillip7382 2 года назад

      @@munterboy1744 yes but grow and married

    • @fishhook4083
      @fishhook4083 Год назад +2

      Yep, it’s her way or no way. Doesn’t like resistance but will dish it out with no problem. Pushes me to my breaking point.

    • @Headbanger427
      @Headbanger427 5 месяцев назад

      I couldn't be so lucky as to get "the silent treatment".

    • @ohnoitisnt666
      @ohnoitisnt666 Месяц назад

      If the kids are grown, exit post haste.

  • @isaiah58cry
    @isaiah58cry Год назад +2

    Thanks

  • @maverick-gp6mg
    @maverick-gp6mg 11 месяцев назад +1

    Resistance to control is whats causing all the stress, i've tried and it always ends up bad in the sense emotionally draining and we never reach a point to agree with each other on certain things. Mostly, trying to isolate me from my brother, controlling my mother in a non verbal way. Etc. I'm never even comfortable inviting people to my home as i dont know if she is even going to offer them even a cup of tea as a formality. Playing the victim after every argument is common and i end up guilty all the time . This is also a long distance relationship. How much more should i even compromise.? Should i decide to leave ? I have a son too, who means everything to me.

  • @k4lkimkii532
    @k4lkimkii532 Год назад +2

    😅 Thanks for the upload.
    Well it looks like my wife has a finger in all of the “PIES” 😕

  • @TheLookingGlassAU
    @TheLookingGlassAU Год назад +3

    Sometimes people are 50% controlling. It's not always total control. That's the big issue for me. The descriptions usually define the extreme, but so often (especially when it's a women), the control is less obvious.
    Don't underestimate psychological domination by emotional manipulation. The cutting down is extremely damaging. Especially when the women brings in allies to confront the husband as a way of forcing submission of a husband who is trying to resist.
    The hard thing is often the women are sincere just not fair emotionally. She lives in a distorted reality, so it seems to her to be correct. Her emotions tell her it's correct and any attempt to reason with - is seen as control, gaslighting or manipulation by the husband.
    Fear, anxiety and emotionally cut off is a hard situation to be in. It's also hard to love someone who punishes you for it.

    • @jefftube58
      @jefftube58 8 месяцев назад

      Manipulation is a form of witchcraft.

  • @johannafreymann8656
    @johannafreymann8656 2 года назад +6

    Excellent even for a woman to watch

  • @ohpohp481
    @ohpohp481 Год назад +4

    Intellectual snd emotional control in my case. She will argue and argue to get her way until I just give up out of exhaustion. Belttles my work and exaggerates hers too. Very controlling. Textbook narcissist.

  • @davidwade7542
    @davidwade7542 9 месяцев назад

    I think I am emotionally controlled the most at this point in time.

  • @stevehartwell1861
    @stevehartwell1861 Год назад +2

    Lived this. Non-reciprical relationship

  • @jarredm5612
    @jarredm5612 23 дня назад

    Physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual.

  • @ozzysaleem5762
    @ozzysaleem5762 Год назад +2

    Story of my life.

  • @hulaguhanozturk430
    @hulaguhanozturk430 Год назад +1

    What if you just can't get out that easily? Does it help to give in completely? 'Cause more I resist, the more I get unhappy by her behaviours. All I think about is now giving up to her.. I may have been manipulated to think that way though, I really don't know..

  • @michaelgeorge7067
    @michaelgeorge7067 10 дней назад

    Mine is emotional once physical and but also has a her master's in psychology and comes from an abusive family. Dad physically and emotionally mom emotionally and has severe abusive complosive disorder...double edged sword.

  • @Yo-gp4ib
    @Yo-gp4ib 2 года назад +8

    Do you have a video for the controlling person?

    • @ryanbates7259
      @ryanbates7259 2 года назад

      Absolutely! Control is so important, Marriage Helper has an entire section of the website devoted to it. Check it out at the link below. [1] In that archive, you'll find links to two of my personal favorites [2] and [3]. These two podcasts were the first I heard in 2016 that really opened my eyes to just how controlling I was. Prior to this, I would have told you that my wife was the one that was controlling, not me. Today, I have managed to get a handle on my control issues to the point where if I see it in others, it's something that is painful for me to watch.
      [1] marriagehelper.com/there-might-be-control-issues/
      [2] marriagehelper.com/controlling-not-realize-dr-joe-show-podcast/
      [3] www.spreaker.com/user/marriagehelper/why-people-control-others-and-how-they-d

  • @wanderingnomad1
    @wanderingnomad1 Год назад

    Great advise for men from another man.

  • @BuiltForSin0
    @BuiltForSin0 Год назад +6

    At what point do we just say fck this and divorce…like all these techniques just to delay the inevitable. (Wife forced me to pass up on multiple six figure jobs cause she thinks i’ll leave her, and threatens me with cheating if I take off to accept a job). Sounds awesome huh? FML

    • @gr8daynegb
      @gr8daynegb Год назад +2

      Much of it is fear of the legal system as even though progress has been made the system still favors women. Personaly my own issue is no matter what I do it seems I'm always wrong. I swerve to miss a deer to just clip it but was fixed for $20...I get yelled at for being a careless driver. Tonight our dog while drying her after a bath jumped on the plug of our dryer and the plug broke as it hit the ground.....and I'm an idiot despite sometimes stuff just happens. Wife has bipolar so I know this plays a part here, but just wears on a guy when we seem to not be able to do anything right.

    • @jefftube58
      @jefftube58 8 месяцев назад +3

      Not sure what to advise you, but threatening to cheat on you for accepting a well paying job means she isn't worth keeping.

  • @denisecatlett7203
    @denisecatlett7203 Месяц назад

    I want my husband to take more control, but it is not in his nature. He’s happy to let me take care of everything and he resents me for it. This has been our problem for the last 20 years of our marriage.

  • @mariem7250
    @mariem7250 5 месяцев назад +1

    I was impressed by your video. Please tell me about yourselves and how you came to this calling Are you a born again believer. Is this ministry associated with a church?

  • @georgew.5639
    @georgew.5639 2 года назад +6

    Do you know my former wife? I wish I had better known these things several years ago. It’s too late now.

  •  2 месяца назад

    All but spiritual. I’ve lost touch with my interests friends and sitting in the hospital for sixteen day and just one visit while she drives to Florida. It seems like the driving principle in our financial plan is to be sure her 35 year old son has enough money to buy his next turbo charged car.

  • @kevingeorge1095
    @kevingeorge1095 11 дней назад

    “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication…” Mat. 19:9
    Fornication (porneia) can refer to a persistent pattern and practice of violating a very basic moral norm - sexually, criminality, rebellion, etc. (Used metaphorically in Jer. 3:9).

  • @jeremiahhardin4453
    @jeremiahhardin4453 6 месяцев назад +1

    Any husbands have to ask before they eat or drink anything in the house that's not already in rhe fridge or in the cupboard? Any husbands not allowed to hold onto cash or do the grocery shopping? Any husbands not able to watch TV because the wife takes the remotes and you have to ask for them? Are any husbands the sole income for their household, but aren't allowed a say in what the money is spent on? Anyone? Just me? Okay.

  • @kennethgraham-rg3zs
    @kennethgraham-rg3zs Год назад +4

    I have already implemented " turning the tables " on her by saying no to her. She would say that I cannot go fishing and my reply would be you wanna bet ! Lol. You are absolutely correct in that a woman will not respect you if you always give in to them. Women respect a man that does not allow them to walk all over them. I believe that they not only need a friend and a lover, but also want a type of father figure in the relationship as well. Bet they never disrespected their father while growing up. They are funny creatures but by changing my attitude and responses to her, it is definitely working. I also told her that if she doesn't like the change, then she knows where the front is and I'd help her move !

  • @Headbanger427
    @Headbanger427 5 месяцев назад

    Mine is mostly spiritual with a little emotional mixed in.

    • @mace2gorc872
      @mace2gorc872 5 месяцев назад +1

      Mines is intellectual emotional and spiritual. My wife even told me that I was going to cause her to lose her salvation be cause Iin her mind I am not doing enough spiritually for the family for the times we live in. Eg. I'm not doing bible prophecy studies regularly.nor fasting and praying regularly. Mind u we. Go to church weekly, have sermons playing in our home do worship together as a family everyday and pray together and have spiritual discussions.

  • @ohnoitisnt666
    @ohnoitisnt666 Месяц назад +1

    Try this when the entire family law system is against men in all respects.

  • @JordanNHoule
    @JordanNHoule Год назад

    4:11 Jesus did say that as it was the law at the time and how the form of the questioning was trying to trap Him in breaking the law and how it was being taught. But didn't He lead with that only being an excuse of divorce because of the hardening of hearts... which is what He was teaching against?

  • @Ru4444
    @Ru4444 3 месяца назад +1

    iam being controlled cuz a liar and a cheater

  • @pegagonza3784
    @pegagonza3784 2 года назад +6

    Thank you for your help! What about when I just ask my husband to do something and he replies that I am controlling him?

    • @Homegrown_Values
      @Homegrown_Values 2 года назад +2

      Same as mine, and I get the silent treatment

    • @jackgoodings
      @jackgoodings 2 года назад +5

      Possibly explore this further. These little 'asks' to do something can build up to become lots of little 'asks' with expectations, and that can become tiring.

    • @SharonM623
      @SharonM623 2 года назад +1

      @@jackgoodings it becomes a lot because the ‘asks’ are not being honored

    • @ryanbates7259
      @ryanbates7259 2 года назад

      Great question! Since we can't control our spouses, let's focus on what we can control, ourselves. Knowing this, the question is, "Am I REALLY controlling my spouse?" To this, I would suggest watching Dr. Beam's video [1] below and taking the assessment he presents in the video. This can give you a somewhat objective view on if you are truly controlling or not. It's not uncommon for controlling people to feel like they are being controller by others.
      [1] marriagehelper.com/controlling-not-realize-dr-joe-show-podcast/

    • @jenniferforrester7662
      @jenniferforrester7662 2 года назад

      @PeGa Gonza Marriage Helper has resources on control. It can be helpful to see how your spouse perceives your asks. The bottom of this page as more help. marriagehelper.com/married-to-a-controlling-wife/

  • @trevorarsenault8353
    @trevorarsenault8353 Год назад +1

    My wife controls what social media I can use she doesn’t let me use Snapchat Instagram or even tik tok she also tries to control me by threatening a divorce! And even taking my kid from me.

    • @allianceguptiisentertainme5267
      @allianceguptiisentertainme5267 Год назад

      My life is doing the same and life is unbearable at the point that I feel I don't want to continue to live. I don't know how to get out of this safely. I don't know if all women are like that but I want to be alone.

    • @DeliaNErik
      @DeliaNErik Год назад

      Well social media is not good for no one now days y’all don’t even have to get out from the house to cheat
      Social media is bad for couples and in general for everyone is way too much temptation there

  • @steelstreet79
    @steelstreet79 29 дней назад

    Is this also part of a wife lead marriage?

  • @jaydixson1731
    @jaydixson1731 10 месяцев назад +1

    Sounds like my wife

  • @donnaallgaier-lamberti3933
    @donnaallgaier-lamberti3933 Год назад +10

    I could be considered a controlling wife...but on my behalf my husbands WANTED a wife to taker charge, handle everything and he choose me to do just that.

    • @entrthedragon
      @entrthedragon Год назад +14

      Could be considered? You are or you are not. If what you’re doing is hurtful to the other and you’re just being a bully, then you need to rectify that or the other person will leave. If you have no respect for him, leave, because that isn’t love.

    • @misshairpassionista8378
      @misshairpassionista8378 8 месяцев назад +8

      A controlling wife is different from a wife who is in charge.

    • @dnashj33
      @dnashj33 7 месяцев назад +9

      A husband deferring to you (letting you take charge) in some areas that you are good at...such as finances or house decorations, etc....is not a key to dominate him in everything. You emasculate and disrespect a man when you demand everything is done YOUR way.

    • @dnashj33
      @dnashj33 7 месяцев назад +10

      ​​@@misshairpassionista8378...Wait, what? It's using semantics to say "controlling is not the same as taking charge."
      When a woman DEMANDS to have her way (not even willing to compromise on important decisions), she is Controlling and thus does not respect her man. That will lead to a broken marriage every time.

    • @dougplahn8507
      @dougplahn8507 6 месяцев назад +7

      He let you lead because you demanded it and he couldn’t be bothered with your arguments and belittling

  • @user-ok6oi1hi4f
    @user-ok6oi1hi4f 7 месяцев назад

    It's not only wife is controlling but husbands are more controller in Indian marrage.and that's true

  • @mikawanda3639
    @mikawanda3639 10 месяцев назад

    This is pure comedy 🤣🤣🤣

  • @sugarblaze8227
    @sugarblaze8227 Год назад +1

    What if.this is a man..everything u described here is how i am treated by my husband. I actually thought is was me
    But all your words. Are Him to the T.

    • @entrthedragon
      @entrthedragon Год назад +1

      Yup, works both ways. I’m at that point of making a decision. Lay it out to them. If they refuse to talk and walk away then I’m afraid we have to walk away. This controlling person needs to confront the demons of their past to know why they are that way and work through it. Unfortunately, these types think the problems lay with others, not them.

  • @mikec6347
    @mikec6347 Год назад

    Didn't watch a lick. This dude in a stache' just screamed everything. I know he's innocent and guilty at the same time.

  • @MrSmith-vc8xd
    @MrSmith-vc8xd 6 месяцев назад +1

    Lets face it. Men aren't BIGGER anymore, just stronger.