How to Stop People from Interrupting You: Verbal Tips
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- Practice along to learn How to Stop People from Interrupting You with these verbal tips, Dos, and Don'ts. Free Download pdf of the Top 5 Essential Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/
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my cousin is a serial interrupter Conversation when he Interrupt's me he talk's to my Parents how can I use my loud voice so that they hear me ?
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it feels like everyone in my life talks over me and interrupts me mid-sentence and it drives me absolutely crazy. thanks for the tips
Pay attention to your body language. I've trained horses for 50 years and I had to learn fast that if my body language says submissive I can quickly get run over by a horse. But the minute I square my shoulders and make eye contact with a horse it's a different story. I can make a horse move away with just my expression. I give off "chestnut mare vibes" lol!!!!
If it happens frequently check to make sure you're not over communicating.
My boyfriend is a serial interrupter (everyone in his family is, and as hard as I've tried to get him to do it less, it's just too engrained a habit). At a point I set a new rule: if he wants to interrupt, he has to ask "can I interrupt you for a second" AND he has to remember what I was talking about and reinitiate the conversation. Because any time he'd interrupt, I'd always forget what I was saying.
This system works pretty well for us because
#1 I don't have to ask him not to interrupt me (having to stop someone from interrupting can be as distracting as getting interrupted) and
#2 since he has to remind me what I was talking about, he's always a really active listener. And the first few times when he didn't remember what I was speaking about when he interrupted, the next time when he asked "can I interrupt you for a second?" I said "no because last time you couldn't remind me".
For me, being interrupted just sucks because mentally I have to juggle two conversations at the same time. This way, the person who does the interrupting has to care the mental load of the "back-burner" convo.
Nice work hun.
I have a sister like you.
My girlfriend has a tendency to do this and it makes me feel like none of what I said just registered at all but I totally understand it's just a thing she can't help (her whole family is like this too -_-)
Being interrupted like that just shuts off my brain and I can't even pay attention to what she wants to talk about. I always feel so awful about it.
I'm going to try this with her and see if it fixes anything, it might even help me pay attention to her better
@@ZorroTheWevile I know what you mean! It doesn't mean they don't care about what you're saying, or that they aren't listening, I have found it usually just means their brain is running a mile a minute. In fact, usually it means something I said reminded him of something that he was excited to share.
We all have bad habits, and so creating this little buffer just made it easier for both of us to manage. He is such a kind and considerate person, and I know he doesn't mean to be disrespectful, and since he's gotten down this new system we are both feeling really heard!
A coworker of mine taught me years ago that the way to prevent heckling or interrupting is, if possible, to walk over and stand near the offender. it works!
That can work in some situations. In my college classes, for example, if two students are having a side conversation that is distracting, I'll move in their direction and look at them as I continue to give my lecture in a normal way. That usually makes them stop talking.
@@alexanderlyon I'll bet it does! It worked for us because we worked in the health insurance industry and got heckled a lot. Hecklers' boldness comes from their distance. They shrink back when you get close to them.
@@alexanderlyon Yes! Bonus for the interrupter, who might simply be seeking extra attention? You're moving into their visual sphere, so they don't have to compete with you for attention from the others in the room. It can disarm aggression without speaking a word.
@@alexanderlyonThanks for the tip.
@@alexanderlyonThat requires some authority.
I have a Conversational Narcissist in my life. She doesn’t care about what I have to say. I will continue to speak, and so will she. I’ve turned to texting. It’s amazing how I can text about important feelings and the response is what she’s having for dinner!!! So, what I have to communicate really doesn’t matter at all. It’s all about her, her, her!!!
That's tough. There are entire channels dedicated to dealing with narcissists. They only make up about 5% of the population but they cause many of the relationship problems. I don't make videos about it because it's a personality disorder and that's an issue that's better left to the experts who have a research background in that area. All that to say, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It's a troubling issue for many people.
It’s better to be alone than in bad company. Stay strong. Team healthy.
If this bothers you, why do you continue to interact with this person?
And, if you feel like you have to continue interacting with this person, AND you know it's going to happen, why do YOU LET IT continue to bother you?
If you choose to interact with this person, you can choose to let it go...
Alternately...interact with them ONLY as required, but DON'T share your life details with them. Wait to share your life information with people who listen and care...
Absolutely mind-blowing to realise that assertive doesn't need to mean aggressive, and that the same statement said in a compassionate way as opposed to a frustrated or annoyed way, can have such a different impact. I've been saying the statements when dealing with a chronic interrupter at work (someone I have taken aside and asked several times politely not to interrupt me) but I can see from this video that I need to be staying composed so I don't come off looking like the unprofessional employee. When others go low, go high! Thanks Professor :)
I'm curious how to not come across as frustrated and annoyed with interruptors when I am genuinely frustrated and annoyed.
This is my problem... Lol. It's so irritating to me that I loose my 💩
Practice in advance. Seriously, tell a story and ask a friend to interrupt you. Repeat until you can assert yourself calmly.
I am definitely guilty of interrupting others. Love these polite ways of responding. Thank you👍
Let’s talk more on telegram channel 🎉
Would you be able to make a video about how to keep someone on track when telling a story or an event and politely keep them from over explaining or going into great detail about something insignificant to the story or event. My attention span is to short and I tend to space out when someone drones. I want to be able to be engaged through the whole process. eye contact is tuff cause if I lock eye's for a split second to long my fight or flight response kicks in hard core. You're great at what you do, thank you.
That's a tough one, Dragon Rider. You can give them some polite feedback but make it about you (not about their long story). You could say, "I'm losing track of the story. Could you boil it down a bit?" That's just an example of giving them feedback but you are making your difficultly with keeping track the focus of the comment. That's really all you can do. You can't really prevent them from being long-winded in the first place.
Where have you been all my life? Thank you, thank you.
Ha! Thank you, Gloria. I'm glad the video helped.
This is good advice that one would think would be common knowledge but so many have not been taught these basic skills. THANK YOU SO MUCH for providing this.
I was on a date last night, the guy ALWAYS interrupts me. Like I couldn’t tell any story. Like I couldn’t get through once sentence.
My boss is a chronic interrupter and it’s not just me, it’s EVERYONE. Just thinking about it makes me upset. I’ve tried other tactics to no avail. I have a meeting with her today and I’m going to try your tips, thanks for posting!
Good luck. If somebody is a chronic interrupter, be satisfied with *_any_* amount of communication you manage to express. It is very unlikely the person will change and voluntarily create space for you in the conversation. It's much more likely you'll have to essentially advocate for all of your talking turns. And even that may take time. Be patient. See what works and what doesn't. If she's chronic about it, her habits are deep. Hope it goes well.
Great advice, worth taking to the bank.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1
I recommend early deployment of the phrase "shut up when I'm talking." Add "boy" if they're younger than you.
I always wonder how stop others from interrupting me tactfully. Your advice helps me a lot. Thank you so much!
This is great, Alex. I love how you added the part about tolerating some level of interruption.
Thanks, Josh. I'm encouraged that you picked up on that.
If we listen to the way people actually talk, we are frequently talking at the same time and it's fine with virtually everybody. And, though I don't go into it in the video, there are differences between literally cutting somebody off deliberately and simply talking at the same time in supportive ways. And there's a ton of grey area.
A small % of people consider any amount of overlapping talk (no matter how positive the "vibe" in the conversation) to be an act of unquestionable offense. I don't agree with that.
All that said, I doubt anybody would watch a video on the subtle differences between all of those issues but I wanted to make sure I at least mentioned that it's only human and a natural part of conversations to have some level of interruption and overlapping talk.
Excellent tips, Alex. One of my colleagues, who by nature was very polite and soft spoken had this habit of continuing to speak when someone interrupted. It worked most of the times when the interrupter would stop after getting the cue.
Your ministry is such a huge blessing to me. I’ve learned a tremendous amount of communication since tuning in. God bless you!
You are so welcome, S Chi. Thank you. God bless you too!
Ministry is an interesting word to use
I'm glad for this video but also PSA - those not picking up on cues could have ADHD, autism etc .... Having compassion is good
Thank you! This was the one what I was looking for.
I truly appreciate you and the time you spent helping us with these verbal tips. Thank you very much for your awesome channel. I enjoyed every minute of your lecture as well as your marvelous sense of giving your pieces of advice.
Thank you for this awesome advice. I like how you keep it real.
This is so well explained and illustrated. Thank you 🙏
Great lesson! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot! Alex. this is an important tip.. to be utilized.
This is very useful information! Thank you so much, simple and easy to integrate into a conversation.
Insightful video, thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Alex this video was very helpful❣️
You’re the only communication coach I watch online. This will definitely help with my Podcast 💯Cheers!
Glad to hear it!
Setting boundaries!
good morning everyone! I am in Buffalo NY watching live! hope everyone has a nice day!
Go Bills!!!!
Great video, Alex!! My daughter and I have a wonderful, close relationship. We enjoy each other's company and we have a great time sharing what's going on in our lives. Because we can get quite excited -- (and animated 😃😃) -- communicating together, we FREQUENTLY have to use the Level One cues as loving reminders -- to let the other person finish before interrupting. I oftentimes use: "I'm almost finished." This usually works well for us. The other tips are excellent -- especially in business situations. Thank you!! 😊
Thank you for sharing, Cheryle.
This was gold!!! Thank youu!!!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Great work!
Awesome! I was just asking about this recently. Thank you so much!
Glad it was helpful!
Such useful and practical tips. I love your point of clarification to start. It's helpful to see these sample statements. Thanks Alex!
Hi, Anne. Great to hear from you! Hope all is well.
Thanks Sır God bless you too
you are very helpful, I appreciate you share your work, thank you so much
Glad it was helpful, Dogan.
Excellent teaching! Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Some great tips you know .a great video👍
Thank you sir
Your lectures and teachings are really good and helpful
Especially the picturisation added in between help the learning brains to maintain what's learned and turn it into execution. Thank you again to you. And your entire team sir.namaste.
Excuse me... excuse meeee!! Me me me me me lol
Yep. This is all truth. I wish someone had taught me all this when I was 8. I've been accused of being " the Interrupter ", yet here I am genuinely seeking knowledge to do better. Thanks to this video I've learned, that I haven't learned to not interrupt due to the ineffective ways I have been corrected with aggressive and passive aggressive language. Understanding this, I see how I can change now ( I went to " active listening video " ). I am so grateful for this video! I've been around soooo many aggro speakers ahhhh. Assert. Don't aggress! Assert! Don't aggress!
Hi Natalie. I'm glad the video was helpful (and the active listening video). Thanks for sharing your experience.
Excellent video and content as always, Dr. Lyon! I use a lot of the "I" language when speaking to my students on things that I don't want them to miss out on, and find it very effective. Thanks so much for sharing with us!
Thanks for sharing your example. I'm glad the video was helpful.
Got interrupted and screamed/bossed at in my entire life. There was no way for me to explain my point to these people ( mostly family members). At the end I felt so ignored and humiliated that I leaved the scene and wrote to them a letter, writing about how upsetting their constant interruption and screaming is and how this solution is necessary to communicate my voice because they seemingly hear only theirs. It was oil in the fire btw. I got accused with cheekiness, ignorance, stupidity and general lack of emotional stability and credibility. They interrupted me because they thought that this is in their power and right as adults. Situation didn't change much except the physical distance that helped a lot. So before you think you have problems with your own communicative style, think about the possibility of the aggressive bossy nature/general ingorance of the other person.
Yesss, some people are annoying. I cannot stand my mum she interrupts me even when I tell her it makes me feel bad, she’s so annoying
Sounds like you have a dysfunctional narcissistic family structure. And you are right. Those people are not interested in anything aside from themselves.
This is awesome! Thank you!
I hate being interrupted. I very quickly lose my train of thought.
This is so helpful!
Thanks, Qin. Did you practice along with me in the video???
@@alexanderlyon yes I did, English is my second language, so this is especially helpful for me. Keep up the good work!
Thank you sir! I really appreciate you sharing this. Given English is not my first language, I get annoyed when my manager interrupting me and my client’s conversation with he/she thinking I spent too much time with my client however I didn’t know what I can or can’t say at that moment other than awkwardly staring at his/her face. I’m going to put those sentences to practice.
Thanks!
Wow! Thank you , Casey. That's very kind of you to support me like that. I appreciate it.
This is good stuff. Subbed!
Thanks for the sub!
Nice! 👍
Great tips, Alex. I love these! Thank you. 🙂It builds nicely on the previous video. In my personal experience, these methods have worked well with those who are not trying to control the conversation. For those whose intent is control, the acts of apologizing or asking for permission to speak can verbally give them the false impression of submission, that we're not speaking to them as conversational equals, and they may subsequently feel "justified" in continuing the rudeness. God Bless and Merry Christmas, brother!
You are correct. This is just for a regular long-winded person. These types of tips will only be minimally effective against someone who is committed to controlling the conversation. That will essentially cross the line over into what could be considered a power struggle or conflict. I tend not to make videos about that intense side of the scale.
@@alexanderlyon That's what sets you apart from others in this niche, my friend. Please don't change. Ever. Merry Christmas!
Love it
My mother in law is a habitual interrupter. You simply cannot have a normal conversation with her about anything. She will interrupt repeatedly. I'll be trying to talk to someone in the room and she will butt in and get louder to over talk you. She interrupts everybody. My husband has held up his hands to her and said "she's trying to tell me something, hold on" and he'll ask me what i was trying to tell him, then when I'm done he'll ask her what she wanted to say. It's sad because I'll never have a close relationship with her. I avoid conversations with her because of it.
being polite to disrespectful people is an endless endeavor
Yep I'm here to learn more after an episode with a person lol... Interrupted me singing is more like lol Thank you!
Hi Alex, thanks for the great content. Could you do a video demonstrating techniques to help think quickly on your feet during a Q & A or meeting etc?
Good idea. I've given that some thought. I might do it in the future.
Thank you Alex. How to deal with multiple interrupters all at once: Can you take this up a level & give advice on how to handle ‘Simultaneous Group Interrupters’? This is a situation where many people all interrupt & talk over one another so that everyone is talking simultaneously. The voices then get louder, higher pitched & shouting turns into yelling bc the loudest one wins. The pattern of chronic interruptions is recognized in the DSM-5 as one of the traits for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Usually, these people have the need to be in control &/or are extremely self righteous, which makes them very argumentative, opinionated cantankerous, oppositional & combative. They like to hear themselves talk & dominate conversations. They actually don’t have conversations bc they never allow the other person to speak. They don’t talk with you, they talk AT you. So what can be done in this type of situation when dealing with a relentless, argumentative Narcissist or multiple interrupters all at once?
That's an interesting question but it goes beyond what I do on my channel. That's getting more into dysfunctional dynamics and diagnosing other people. It's not an area that I've studied and I don't have an informed opinion about it. My channel is for professional and emerging leaders. I'm grateful I've rarely seen a workplace that fits the description you're asking about. If I did see that, I would say it is up to the leader to restore an orderly workplace. It should not be up to the employee to fix a group like that.
Thank you that was very insightful and helps me to understand two frequent interrupters at my job.
I hope you make a video about how to handle people who talk to much
Hello. I am really intrigued by watching your videos. Could you also make a video on anchoring?
Thanks. When you say anchoring, do you mean how we often rely heavily on the first information we hear? I've heard that same term used in a few different fields. If you have more details, I'd appreciate it.
Would love to see tips on how to politely break a monologing person. You know, those people who talk and talk and talk while you try to listen at first but they are just going on and on endlessly.
Good suggestion. The short answer is to use feedback using I-language. "I'm losing track. Could you boil it down for me?" That's far superior to You-language, "You're going on and on. You're going to have to boil it down."
Let’s talk more on telegram channel l🎉
Ah, so saying that I will burn down their house if they interrupt me again is wrong because I'm using "you" language in my response which escalates the situation.
Well, lesson learned...
Exactly! Ha. If you'd said, "I'm going to burn down *_A_* house," then it wouldn't be You-Language anymore. Just kidding, of course. In case any lawyers are reading this, I expressly advise against any harmful activities like that.
Trying to control someone may be our first response out of annoyance, but as he says there is nothing you can do to control the other person so don't even try! The best we can do is control ourselves. Being compassionate and non aggressive gets the best response.
Thanks for a wonderful, and helpful video.
Fortunately, these basic communication skills, part of basic manners, are learned in Elementary School, and at home.
Glad it was helpful!
Errr no they're not
I just discovered your channel today and am so excited to watch all of your videos. My profession is a sign language interpreter. I would be very curious to know if you have any experience and tips for communicating in a professional environment through an interpreter of another language. If you do not, can you direct me to any other expert on the topic? With today's global marketplace, the opportunity to be conducting business, and having personal interactions with, someone who doesn't speak your language, thus requiring you to depend on an interpreter, are ever increasing. Is this something you have ever considered exploring?
Hi, Bridgette. It's a good idea but it's way out of my area of expertise. Sorry about that.
Let’s talk more on telegram channel 🎉
The person I'm thinking of thinks talking over someone and getting louder is the same as winning an argument
Haha, this reminds me of the last person I dated. Incredibly nice fellow who always got super excited about subjects I'd start talking about and would just jump in with his thoughts, immediately apologize for interrupting, and by then I'd forgotten what I was going to say and our conversation would end. I mentioned over and over that he was doing this, he would notice, keep doing it, apologize for it when he'd do it, and then I started to get very passive aggressive with my responses over time. "Cool. I can't remember what i was saying because you interrupted me AGAIN *eye roll/sigh." I see how I could've responded in a more productive way, but even remembering this interaction makes me feel annoyed 😂 Thanks for the tips, something new for me to work on 🙂
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I usually say "sorry for talking while you are interrupting". I'm done with 'being nice'
My favourite "You do see me talking right?"
I'm worried it might be rude to tell someone to stop interrupt. I take care of a politicians dog and she will never let me say more than two words before she interrupts me. Every single time. It's exhausting..... I listen to everything she says and try to answer, but then immidiately she will interrupt me again.
And all the conversations are only about her, how great her dog is or when someone was rude towards her.
Every time I try to say anything about her dog that isnt a compliment (because he has behaviour he has to work on) she immediately changes the subject.
Say "shut up when I'm talking."
I spoke to a guy on the phone and he was so rude, he was aggressive/rude by being condescending. The thing is he paused so I assumed he finished, then he called me judgemental about some else and I interjected to correct him as he was being judgemental more then me.
I constantly interrupt my husband . He gets upset. I've been thinking why i do it. I used to not do it. He talks over everyone and takes over all conversations. He also tells ppl okok that's not important. I think i do it out of spite or cause i don't care since he doesn't either. I've been trying to stop it but i just feel like I'm giving in.
My level 1 tip, that I often use, is to say something like "Let's put a mark here." For example when I'm in the desciption of a detailed event, that I'm sure I would forget if interrupted, but someone wants to comment on a particular part (we all know that "almost cutting in" moment), I look at them directly and say "Let's mark this part/Let's put a mark here and we can get back later." I think it calms the other one a bit, like they are heard and less eager to interrupt.
Good one!
I like - Im almost finished sorry. Sounds calm
Yes, I use that one a lot. It sounds normal.
“Let me finish because it’s rude to interrupt.” 😇😂
I’m glad I saw this. I have a guy who interrupts about everything I try to say within 7 syllables or less and I am tired of sounding like a barking seal
This guy has an unwanted crush on me and acts like I’m his girlfriend. I really don’t want to be anything other than friends with him. Usually when he interrupts me it’s to tell me over and over that he “loves “ me (dozens of times a day) how can I politely handle this?
I don’t want to hurt him or be rude.
Get over your scruples, and hurt him and be rude.
I must say I sometimes see no way of having a" conversation " with some people unless you interrupt their looooooong stories! Have you come across people that are so self-absorbed they never "think" there are other people in the room who would like a chance at talking too!?
Can you make a video on how to read the room?
Hi, Eder. I have a video on *_How to Analyze an Audience for Public Speaking_* . That is essentially what reading the room is. If you search for it with that title, you'll fine it.
video importee dans ma tete trilingue.
So grabbing them by the throat when they interrupt is bad ?
I was planning to join an extemporaneous speech contest at our university but I was worried about my topic and of course, I am nervous. Do you have any tips for writing a speech and getting all my topic ideas properly and remembering them more?
Join toastmasters
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My Alex Lyon, you’re an A1 actor. “Excuse me, excuse me, I’m speaking” 😅 If this isn’t a norm
Oh, thank you! Ha. I know actual people who have that tone so I'm doing an impression of them.😂 But I don't think the watch my channel.
I'm not watching this for the rude people who interupts me but i'm watching this cause sometimes my boyfriend gets too excited and interupts me. It always causes funny misunderstanding or I usually forget what i have to say. I'll try some of these phrases if i talk to some people that has good intentions.
I love your attitude. Most people do not have bad intentions when they interrupt. It's like you said. Many people just get excited and want to join the fun. I don't know if you've seen it yet but the interview I did with Vanessa Van Edwards is all about the nonverbal cues you can give that'll help stop people from interrupting as well.
In the book “The last man standing” Jaime Dimon was speaking in class when another student began wildly waving his hand because he wanted to speak and Jaime told him “Put your Fucking hand down while I’m talking”. Needless to say that kid never did that again lol
I once got the answer: "But you are far too slow and laborious. I already know, what you are telling...
Hi, Susanne. I wasn't there to hear that comment but it is true that long-winded people tend to get interrupted more frequently because other people get impatient. Again, I have no idea if the feedback that person shared was fair or not.
I had a guy just yesterday signing up for my gym and he was so incredibly clueless as to anything I was saying or even trying to say. He just kept on talking and talking no matter what. Guys like that are so far in their own head, it's like he couldn't even hear me. Very awkward.
He even would ask me direct questions and the second I start to answer.....he walked all over my answer and tried to answer for me. But it was on the phone so it could just be he was hard of hearing. Tough customer and he was supposedly about 400 pounds so I dont know if I would want to do any kind of stopping him in person. Haha 😆
Hello Chris. At 400 pounds, this customer probably experiences being dismissed in society, not being heard, and considered "less than". It would be easier to assert oneself by phone than face-to-face if one is accustomed to being shut down. After being in customer service for 20 years, during the 80s & 90s, my approach of being empathetic, but direct with a sense of humor, might not work for everyone. A customer rambled on and on about a missing package. Knowing he was justified in his anger, I gave him a few minutes to rant, and then I said kindly, but firmly & with a touch of humor in my voice, "Tim, I get it, and I'm sorry, but you gotta let me go so I can find your order quickly. Good, bad, or ugly, I will call you with an update in 30 minutes." He calmed down, said thanks, and allowed me to get to work. I wish you well, Chris. Keep listening to Coach Alexander.
Alright chris cox
When being overly interrupted, I jus walk away😎
How do I get my wife to not interrupt when I’m telling a story to others . She often forgets the details of an actual event and gives incorrect information when she interrupts
It's a great question and a lot of people struggle with this issue. I'd be hesitant to give you advice about your marriage and I have too many questions to offer any advice other than what I already said in the video. I can tell you what I'd do if it were me in my marriage. I'd say before I was going to be out with friends and likely to tell a story, "Honey. If I start to tell a story tonight, can you let me tell it rather than interrupting?" Use a kind and patient tone, of course. But I 100% would not give her any feedback in front of other people. In a marriage, that would likely be very embarrassing. But above all, this is not really advice for you. This is just what I would do and every marriage has different dynamics. Good luck!
My mother is like that. I’ve tried many different ways but she refuses to stop, it seems to be part of her nature or personality. She did this my dad and now he’s passed and she does it constantly with me her oldest daughter. I can’t even visit with a stranger and she interrupts the convo. I stay away a lot and I’m frustrated a lot too 😢
@@Metoo1111 sorry you have to stay away.
DONT TELL THE STORY WHEN SHES IN THE ROOM
“ … We agree on a great many solutions. But, here are a few that I feel needs to be discussed at length so that we can benefit from each others experience and expertise.”
In my 25 years in corporate America here are a few acorns of observations:
1. Don’t be afraid, be competent.
2. Create a space in your head that requires you to be completely opinion free.
3. Do not search out ways to betray the facts.
4. Create an open sense of understanding the hierarchy of speech: Less is more. Listen to learn. Speak to soothe. Allow your speech to support only your success.
5.Never insult anyone at work privately or publicly. You do not need to be patient. You need to exceed the levels of competency of those who seek to consort with chaos.
6.Become the mind, that makes their energy not matter in your mission to be your best nonjudgmental self.
7. You do not need to be sympathetic or compassionate. Have a strong sense of ethics, and practice the ethos of Kant. Success is not about winning. Success is maintaining your honor whether others believe that you were defeated or that you triumphed.
8. Above all else persevere to master your craft and be relentless is becoming the best leader of you that you can be.
9. Titles matter. Regardless of what those who are not in authority think, say or gossip about.
10. Your boss, can be the worst person you’ve ever met. Remember that they may think that of you. Give them a reason professionally to look to you for support. In the end if they betray your talent or your trust you may lose praise or perhaps a raise. Just remember the trick is to increase your competency by facing and being overcoming every challenge every single day.
Thanks for posting. There's some REALLY interesting stuff here!
You are most welcome. Some wars are fought noisily and others are fought noiselessly. Communication is the remedy to both.
Tension is ok between people, I hope we have enough appreciation to get things done but we can also be aggressive and hurtful.
This person might have just been emotionally immature.
I have an issue where I try to use these kinds of phrases, and I often get accused of being passive-aggressive or patronizing.
It’s very likely not the words, but rather the tone of voice and attitude. When people say patronizing, or passive aggressive, that’s usually what they mean.
Yeah I don't mean to sound that way, but when I talk normally it's very dry and emotionless so I try to "pep up" my tone to get across what I mean if that makes sense.
I have used many of these techniques but they get angry and say that I don't leave them to speak.
I often find myself inadvertently interrupting people, and they tend to be very nasty about it. I think they think they're being assertive, but it's just offensive.
Well maybe you should learn and stop interrupting people once and for all. Because it is offensive that someone does not want to listen to what you have to say and talk over you like what they have to say is always better or not important, in the first place.
@Julia-kv2po What an odd reaction. I'm sorry that you believe all of these things about people you don't even know. Mind-reading is tough work.
I am sorry I am an interrupter not on purpose just because my brain can’t remember if I don’t say it right away do you have anything and advice for us for those people that can’t handle when we interrupt
That's common. I recommend the video I made on Active Listening Skills. That's really the key to not interrupting.
@@alexanderlyon I agreed to certain extent. However, there are people who goes on and on and soon it becomes one way conversation...or, can we call it a conversation at all when they never stop talking or allow others to participate. So often people who keep saying, "I haven't finished!!!" seem rude to me, especially when they have made their points but they still want to dominate the conversation.
Why do people interrupt to begin with?? 🤨
You mean, why do they interrupt? All sorts of reasons. Sometimes they are just excited and want to jump in before you're done. Other times, they want to control the situation. And many people don't even realize they are interrupting. I find it's most helpful if I assume the best about them and that they don't realize they are doing it. That helps me not take offense to the interruptions.
So no sarcasm. That’s going to be tough for me😉.
People in IT use more such passive aggressive language. sales executive has one of the best communication.
Interesting. Thank you for sharing your experience.
The best example is Piers Morgan interview of Kanye West :D
5:11 We sound self righteous, but the person interrupting isn't self righteous? OK..
They might not be. If you care about your connection to that person and want to help them see the light, this video is awesome.
If you’ve already decided you want nothing to do with anybody who interrupts you even once and would rather rip all their heads off, this video isn’t for you.
I also don't get what sounds self righteous about wanting to finish your sentences.
I think some of this advice is culture-dependent. If you are British or Australian, stopping by someone's office "to give feedback" would be seen as a huge affront. I think Americans are at ease with this type of approach, but unfortunately it would be lost in translation in the type of contexts I deal with. In general, I find also that in a highly hierarchical society not everyone has the same access to airtime in group conversations. Women, expats, or people of lower rank are often steamrolled in my experience and the airtime is hogged by those with perceived higher status.
Yes, culture matters. My advice is 100% given from a US perspective because that's my background. Any advice I offer would have to be adapted and incorporate your best judgement.
@@alexanderlyon Alexander, thanks for your comment. Could you possibly make a video to adapt your advice overcome the obstacles I mentioned to make you advice applicable in situations where a woman, an immigrant or someone of perceived lower status can make themselves heard respectfully? It would mean a lot. Thank you kindly.