My husband ignores me & gives silent treatment to my frustration, what to do?
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- #assim
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May Allah give hidaya to all husbands there are so many wives suffering in this world may Allah it easy for them... 😔😔
May Allah make it easy for them...
😢😔😔
"They are male but not a man" 👍🏻
Absolutely perfectly said seriously.
Yep, it's true.
they are female but not women , same thing really, men are getting back bitten by countless women, which is haram, men are the lowest of the low in western society, they are depressed, not trying to defend them , but be fair and say the same thing to women as well, otherwise quoting negative comments on men only is like hating on them but not equally on women who do the same, if you listen to the men, you would understand both sides, before calling them not men but males.
I hope that was not the only thing you got out of the video as the sheikh critiqued both sides.
We do not know the full story, calm down guys and stop and stop the male vs female war. Lets stay focussed and stick to Quran and sunnah rather that our emotions and desires.
"If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things."[An-Nisaa 4:35]
May Allah bless you
I believe the Sheikh is referring to a normal relationship where disagreements happen.
In my experience, the silent treatment is given by a predator husband who is grooming his wife to be trauma bonded. Plus, such husbands normally have a woman on the side so feel no need to connect with their wives. (This applies to toxic wives too).
The silent treatment is truly unhealthy as healthy people try to talk through problems, not let them fester.
I don’t know what craph you are talking about. Predator husband? Grooming? I think u r drowning in woke koolade
agree
Remove your picture
I disagree. Pure speculation. But agree with silent treatment is truly unhealthy. You will know sooner or later and no I didn't have anyone on the side.
The reason spouses end up in this corner is due to lack of communication and openness, your spouse is not a stranger but your closest companion.
such a simple obvious solution that unfortunately gets overlooked all too often in the heat of the moment.
Yes, this is why we must practice anger control.
Assalamualaikum, I like the answer u did sheikh but some man are never change. I Infront of u will say yes you're right, within a blink still sameway. Even if u say shake of Allah they still don't care.
Mashallah Allahumma barik May Allah bless you ❤
Ustad is accepting comments! Jazakallah!
The biggest advice I was given and I took from our Prophet (saw) and the Companions (ra) is patience. To deal with women it require's patience. (Had to edit this bit as it came across wrong). By Allah it opens up many many blessings and a way out of problems. It resolves soo many issues in marriages, relationships and in everyday problems. Everytime I read anything about marriage in Islam the biggest takeaway i got consistently was be merciful and have Sabr with one and other. I understand there specific problems in marriages that require a arbitrator(s) but SubhanAllah most issues can be resolved with these two key characteristics that we need to implement in ourselves. May Allah guide us all and May Allah help our brother and sisters who are having issues in their Marriages, may He cause them to resolve it or part ways in a merciful and dignified manner.
Ameen 🤲🏼❤️
A. It is not wise to give advice to anyone to simply remain patient without even knowing their actual situation and what strategies they have implied so far. She might have already been patient with him. No one just goes to a shaikh directly to complain without having tried to resolve it themselves.
B. Patience is not always the solution for everything. Many times patience actually become encouragement to continue the wrong behaviour and they expect that always they will be dealt with patiently. When finally the other person will reach the limit of patience and react the wrong doer will feel offended. Because they started believing that receiving the wrong treatment will patience is wife's duty and its his right to expect that patience from her. He don't realise she was BEING PATIENT to save their relation and to please Allah
C. When someone treats us wrongly, we must respond in an appropriate manner and ADDRESS THE ISSIE right at the very first instance. No point it being patient about wrong things. There should be no SECOND instance. When the you remain silent on th3 first instance, it given them the courage to repeat it again.
@@MsEternalpeaceexactly, thank you for your response!
@@MsEternalpeaceThis was just a general advise, please remain calm. And what is wrong with dealing with your problems patiently?? Shall we deal with them screaming and shouting?? Hysterically?? Did u not read the comment carefully, I also mentioned that "I understand there are specific problems in marriages that require a arbitrator(s)". Please don't reply to comments and accuse someone of something without clarification. JazakAllahu Khair.
P.S btw I edited the comment to make it clear.
They need the counselling session from the sheikh. Question is, why the wife has so many frustrations, and where the husband's reactions to them comes from. They need to understand the root of the problem, listen, communicate, and work together to solve the problems in peace, understanding, and kindness and justice
Treat your wife with respect and the wife should do the same. Allah wrote your names next to eachother, so enjoy eachothers company in this dunya and inshallah in the akhirah. If she is upset or angry, comfort her or give her space if she needs it. Allah made woman to be more emotional, as her man you have to cater to that. Its the fundementals of marriage. But if the communication is not there at all, and she or he shuts you out completely, then you should consider counselling or the last stage, divorce.
You're being one sided and you dont even know the full story. Let's just calm down and be objective and focussed.
@@arnold_rx1512 Nah, look at the way the Prophet (PBUH) treated his wives. Then talk.
Sometimes men are more emotional than women😅
@@Noname-lf9bl So?
May Allah save you sheikh.Ameen
My husband is frustrating me more and more because I have difficulties having children and so he thinks he can talk to me anyhow and does all he wants,I still thank Allah for all the humiliation.
Please don't stay in an abusive marrige
Thank you Shk. ASSIM! Again I agree with you! There is a difference between men and Male!😅
Silent treatment is very bad. You need to communicate. Who's tried to communicate and who isn't? Ask yourselves. If one person is doing the effort and your are giving silent treatment then you are at fault even if they initially started it as they have identified their mistake. Trust me silent treatment will leave you alone and depressed even if you are the one doing it and your heading for divorce. Also be mindful you are not the type that everything offends you, that's over communication and you are toxic. You have to let little things go and notice your partner doesn't bring up all the little things that annoy them. Focus on yourself and seek counselling for both if it's really bad. Sadly only one of you from the couples side will see something and think they can fix it. But both need to see it. So counselling is only way to go. You can of course save it on their youtube as watch later and hope they see it and read comments.
I gave silent treatment when he humiliates/disrespects me in front of everyone or when another female was involved. I’m not gonna explain to a grown man what wrong he did .People need to self reflect & then apologize.
Good luck, I would speak but you are free to do whatever you want right ?
There are some people who are offended by everything, they can make a little thing a big thing, I'm not saying that's you but this partner will be tired of it and there's no pleasing you. But there are also others who lack understanding. It's better to communicate. But if you are the first type, then it's an issue within yourself. You have to let little things go as I'm sure you do things that annoy him but he let's it go.
@@aron2015 respect is the BARE MINIMUM. hanging out with females is haram.
Currently i am going through a toughest pathe of my married life..... I am doing my ibadhath on time and thanjud as well... The thing is i am not worried about this world anymore and my life feeling peace is it good for me not worried about my problems?
Sounds good to me , please give some tips on how we can get there ?
Just ignore all the negative comments from your closed ones mainly from the family. And keep it in your mind and heart one thing... This world is fake and also not belongs to us.... Just do ibadhat on time never ever compromise your daily 5 prayers for anybody.
Note: I left my job also for deen and also I am sure that i will get justice from allah..... Sabr is the best feeling so be patient.
@@IsaidwhatIsaidperiodt.Honestly😂😂
Yes. Reaching the point where one doesn’t get worried or attached to worldly objects or people requires knowledge.
Once you open Quran and try to Understand the meaning of all of this then you know it’s all fake. Just imagine it as a test. Example, when my father was teaching me how to drive he told me one example, he basically said “You have to drive like everyone around you is blind, means consciously.” So if you think like everyone around you is gonna test your patience because this life is a test.
Allah (S.W.T) says in (Quran 3 Verse 142) “ Do you think you will enter paradise without Allah proving of you which of you “truly” struggled for his cause and patiently endured?”
Allah is going to test every single human. When we say shahada we are asking to be tested for a successful hereafter.
In other verse Allah (S.W.T) Says (Quran 3:92): “You shall not attain righteousness until you spend out of what you love(in the way of Allah).”
Allah (S.W.T) knows whatever you spend. Intention matters. Also, Everything is purely based on Intentions.
It’s a test. This world is nothing but a beautiful illusion.
May Allah (S.W.T) Forgives all of our sins.♥️
@@nabsath2982Why did you leave your job? Was it a haram job or different reason?
Context matters.
We don't know what the wife did or what the husband did for their situation to come to this.
Blaming one or the other and assuming one of them did "this" or "that" is ridiculous and foolish.
Waaooo great...if a women complain about men then it needed a counseling n when complain..thwn women u need to check ur behaviour waoooo what a great advice
He spoke for both sides here
If any of my muslim friends here can answer my question, I would be really grateful as it would help me rectify myself.
I am non muslim who has recently taken interest in learning about Islam. I have a Muslim female friend. I actually took her number not knowing she is muslim and that there are several rules and regulations in Islam (which I find absolutely correct and beautiful). After coming to know about them, I have stopped myself from speaking to her except when I ask her something related to Islam. And yes, she answers beautifully. May Allah bless her (is it okey to write my gratitude like this ?).
So my question is should I stop speaking with her further except during emergency or is it okay to ask her about Islam and related things ?
Assalamualaikum brother may Allah bless you and guide you to Islam
As per my knowledge talking to the opposite gender without any serious reason is absolutely forbidden you must avoid her unless if there is any serious reason.
And if you want to learn more about Islam then there are some channels I am recommending hope it helps you
1:-dr Zakir naik
2:-shiekh ahmed deedat
Some dawah channels
1:- dawah wise
2:- one message foundation
3:- I am the warner
@@Mohammadarshad467 Thank you brother. I will keep this in mind and teach myself further. I was currently watching this Sheikh's channel, the channel of Mufti Menk and One Islam Productions, and also listening to Nasheeds and the Surahs ❤️
@jsOntu09 Thank you as well for letting me know. Yeah she doesn't contact me, instead I only ask her questions. I will prevent myself from doing so and increase my knowledge further. I am currently listening to the 2nd Surah and at this point, all the verses which I have heard and read make a lot of sense ❤️
@@sujato.revertAlso Brother I'll add one channel named Rational believer
Its has very informative videos which will increase your knowledge about Islam ( InshaAllah )
May Allah Grant you guidance
Aameen ❤️👍
i hope the brothers and sisters answered your question ❤. I just want to appreciate you for putting the effort for learning our deen and its values and even respecting how other Muslims with the way they should be treated in Islam. May Allah guide you and bring you closer to Islam so that you may live a happy life in this world and the hereafter.
Very true sheikh Asim well said
Both men and women should increase their knowledge in Islam and science(wordly). It takes you somehow out of ignorance and gives you silence. If one of them think that they are wiser than their partner, then thats it, it is not going nowhere. Respect should be priority.
Usually the game changes when a woman begins to bring money in the house. then they are not spouses any more rather partners and each one starts arguing with the other.
exactly. my marriage life is so bad no emotional support , what to do.. i am already. 40+ dealing from 24 onwards, just for kids i am staying in this relationship.whole life gone :(. he never have interest, in taking me out, talk to me always alone like a single women. waste life.
In this today world... Women suffer and go through alot
Avoiding escalation, smart man. If he pays the bills, isn't abusive, and isn't a drunk, then the wife has no valid argument. Don't like it? Give the mahr back and get lost.
Edit: and prays 5 times a day (obviously)
They want a reaction, that's why they do it. They need their feelings to be validated (justified or not)
All women want love and attention from their husband.
Isn't silence better than him shouting??
Exactly ❤
SUBHAN ALLAH ALHUMDULILLAH ALLAH AKBAR.
Right. So the onus is on the woman to make her husband stop his poor behaviour? She needs to 'look in the mirror', stop her 'nagging' and change herself so he can start being a reasonable husband again. Got it.
@user-np2yj4pr8h you missed the point.
@user-np2yj4pr8hwhat power? In Islam husband is the authority in household
Sometimes husbands make wifes nag and crib on the same thing !! If he was proper , she would reflect the same
What if a husband didn't want counseling?
Alhamdulillah
Can someone answer this question for me? Ben and Jerry has this Whiskey flavored ice cream but the alcohol percentage is low. What's the saying on things like this?
Just type alcohol and sheikh assim, you will many relevant answers inshallah
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: If a large amount of anything causes intoxication, a small amount of it is prohibited. Book 20, Number 3674. Since whiskey is intoxicating in large amounts it is prohibited to have anything that has even 1% of it
Alcohol is harram. There's no such thing as 1%alcohol Is halal. These type of question have been asked since Islams existance. Please do do some research. It's not like it's a new topic that has never been discussed or isn't easily discoverable. You have Google, you have RUclips, on RUclips alone I guarantee you will find more than 10 videos explaining this. Only naturally occurring alcohol is permitted which is found in some fruit. Do your reaserching. This is just from top of my head. I will not remember every detail.
Sheikh never experienced western 304s that do their best to hide it lol
I had to divorce my husband because of this Inna lillaahi wa Inna illayhi raji'un 💔
Mashallah you're such a hero
May Allah bless him with a good wife.
If the same thing was done by your mother to your father or husband or wife to your daughter or son or the wife of your brother or vice versa in these scenarios then would you justify that? If not then I think you should re-think about what you have done and stop promoting divorce like this.
@@khanhamid3744 so how does it feel to earn 40k yearly and (B) ta buxxing for a 🏃 thru 3/10?
@@khanhamid3744 screw you, what a disgusting lady
Most of the problems would go away if wives would just respect and be obedient to their husbands. Respect and obedience as per standards of Islam.
The cases where husbands are the reason or are abusive etc are exceptional cases and not majority.
There is a reason why we have been told that the majority of the people of hell will be women (Hadith).
But the egos of women are so high that they do not want to accept facts and not correct themselves where they are wrong but rather just keep living in their fantasy world.
Since most women either do not know or do not want to follow Islam properly, there is always a reaction to their actions.
Ironically, almost all men (even if they are not proper muslims) still give all the basic rights to their wives (food, shelter, clothing, security, physical needs) but almost all the wives do not give the husbands basic rights (respect and obedience).
Unfortunately, majority women never accept the facts/truth.
Laws and instructions are provided in Quran and Sunnah. If only women (majority) start to follow them and give their husbands the basic rights that ALLAH has commanded.
Hmm, are you absolutely sure it's "majority" of women who don't understand Islam properly? And "majority" of men who abide by their obligations as husbands?
I agree with you that women should be aware of what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has asked of us, and what guidance the prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) gave us in the Ahadeeth. I'd say the same for men as Islam is a way of life for everyone.
I doubt it's "majority" of women who don't listen as many a times their "behavior" stems from pent up frustrations which when communicated are met with a lack of action, understanding and/or a solution.
Similarly, I wouldn't say "majority" of men adhere to their duties as many of them have taken to neglect them because they either don't know/don't want to know their obligations properly, or they may seek to take advantage of a woman and throw all their responsibilities on her if she chooses to work, for example.
Neither side in my humble opinion is a "majority", but there are too many men and women who get marriage and its importance, obligations towards and rights of one another wrong.
Allah guide us all to the right path, allow us to reflect on our own actions and words before judging others and allow us to be problem solvers instead of blame shifters in the bond He treasures. May He also make all spouses the cooless of each others' eyes and sustain peace and prosperity between them..aameen 🤲
@@maryamalkhairy2547 As per my analysis, it is 'Majority'.
You can just look around in your families, friends, social circles and analyse on the points which I raised.
Do your analysis.
In regards to men generally giving the basic rights (food, clothing, shelter, mental and physicall needs, security, etc) to the wives whereas women generally not giving their husband the basic rights (unconditional respect and obedience).
Note down how many wives you know out of the total, who give just the two things properly to there husbands i.e unconditional respect and obedience.
BASIC rights as prescribed by Sharia and not by Shahrukh khan or Bollywood/Hollywood. 😊
If one analyses this with unbiased heart/mind, one can clearly see the picture.
@@maryamalkhairy2547 Also, it has become a trend now that when someone tries to correct someone, they say "Stop Judging me" or " stop blaming me ".
One has to point out facts/things. Justice system is based on facts and/or arguments (aka pointing out, blaming). 😊
Unless we don't point out the things (with logic/reasoning etc) ,we will not know what to correct.
Ladies.... stop nagging, start rapping, beatnboxing. Probably he'll listen to you.
women ☕
Hadith says to ignore the misbehavng wife
Most of us are not misbehaving. Listen carefully.
Could you share the reference plz??
I'm facing the same issue since day 1. Its been 5 years now.
Read the situation before jumping to conclusions.
@@engr.muhammad.zeeshan five years same issue? Have you looked at yourself?
@@ambermshana9863 Have you? sheikh says take a good look at the mirror, no man acts like that out of no where there must be something that is bothering him.
He's giving the silent treatment IN RESPONSE to her behaviour. It's strange how women always forget about their own behaviour and only care about his reaction
Sometimes the husband drives his wife crazy and she gets tired of his actions and when she gets mad at him for what he did to her, the husband gives her silent and don't care about her feelings! Not always the husband is right! Sometimes he is the reason the wife argues with him
You're the male Sheikh mentioned
@@somebody_55 he's just speaking the truth, us guys won't just give the silent treatment out of the blue for no reason. Make it make sense.
Women always think they are right . They abused . They are victims….
Most of the problems would go away if wives would just respect and be obedient to their husbands. Respect and obedience as per standards of Islam.
The cases where husbands are the reason or are abusive etc are exceptional cases and not majority.
There is a reason why we have been told that the majority of the people of hell will be women (Hadith).
But the egos of women isnsuch that they do not want to accept facts and not correct themselves wherr they are wrong.
Since most women either do not know or do not want to follow Islam properly, there is always a reaction to their actions.
Ironically, almost all men (even if they are not proper muslims, still give all the basic rights to their wives (Food, Shelter, clothing, security, physical needs) but almost all the wives do not give the husbands rights (respect and obedience)
STOP talking.
😂😂😂
Is he visiting somewhere? Where is this happening?