"If your ex reaches out to you..." - Matthew Hussey
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- Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2022
- "If your ex reaches out to you..." - Matthew Hussey #shorts
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This is facts..if one can separate themselves from their own emotion and analyze why the other person is reaching out, this is the conclusion they would come to.
But most people are so caught up in their own feelings, they don’t want to think ‘why’.
To be ‘wanted’ gives them the dopamine hit, without having to face the hard fact, that until the other person agrees to change and do real work, this will be a revolving door
Very true. I had to learn the hard way. Each time I responded out of hope. He disappeared for months. When he last contacted me with nostalgic and vulnerable messages and called, I paused and read between the lines : there was nothing saying he wanted me back. It could be the same as before, checking his access to me. So in doubt, I ignored.
@@MissSarahGM feel for you, but you did the hardest thing already-ignored the message. And don’t worry, BECAUSE you ignored him, he will try again. They need to know you still have some feelings for them. 😏 It makes them feel wanted
@@drbakhshi7064 It's been 4 months since I ignored, I was hoping he'd try again and show me his motivation but nothing :/
@@MissSarahGMif you're curious/ interested ask why
@@juliafisher5844 14 months have passed, too late now. I wanted to see if he'd insist and say more. For once, he didn't. That's also telling, lack of motivation..
some come back and say that they want to invest, you give them another chance and they don´t do anything, no second chances is my painful life lesson
I've been through this. A platonic friend used to do this to me. It's called hoovering.
They want to check if you're still there....I literally cried listening to this. My ex has stalked me to every miserable extent. He just wants to make sure that iam still under his radar and UNHAPPY.
I don’t even respond to my ex I immediately block him from any kinda of contact he could have with me
Block him everywhere girl, what are you doing?
@@Princess15732 I have blocked him everywhere but unfortunately we live in the same country and using all his connections and influence, he manages to find me. The lunatic even had the registration numbers of my cars taken out from the national database! So much for privacy. And also I share 3 children with him. I cannot say unfortunately because I love them like crazy. He manages to access them one way or the other, especially the eldest. The younger two don't even want to see his face. I wish I could block him from Planet Earth but that's God's jurisdiction. I loathe that man. He is pure evil.
@Sak Ak he definitely is. Stay strong, sis. 💗💗💗.
@@Princess15732 Thank you so much. Please do pray for my children and me.
Since I described watching him speak I finally decided to take a huge step back not allowing myself to get hurt. When that one person isn't meeting me half way. I'm tired of always making the first move. This man speaks facts thank you 🙏🏽 I'm focusing on myself self care don't allow anyone make you feel like a fool. Stand in your ground don't give in. A man won't give up if he really wants you.
Exactly block them keep moving
I really needed to hear this right now. My ex will message saying ring me I’ve got something to tell you. It’s the last time I go back into this repetitive loop. I’ll never respond again 💪🏻 it’s given me my power back. I realise it was all just control and him knowing he could get me back.
Exactly. I was ecstatic when my ex reached out only to realize he had no intention of progress or actually seeing me. He just wanted Validation
Who did the breaking up if I may ask?
@swadey2.017 He did. Only to come back and repeat the same behavior. Move on, it's not worth it.
@@Jakilyn Thanks, I only asked as me and my partner broke up 4 months ago, I feel fine for the most part but I see her once a week for work and sometimes I miss her. She broke up with me as I said some hurtful things (stemming from insecurity 🤦🏻♂️) Though I would never reach out as I’m way to proud, I sometimes wish she would.
I wrote a draft message to what I might say if I ever reached out (though I would never send it) just to make me feel better, but I know you’ll think it’s pathetic, so here goes:
Hey (Her name) hope you're doing well. I'm sure this is totally out of the blue, but I wanted to wait until I had moved on from us before reaching out. I've reflected on our relationship, and thought about how things could've been different. How I may have addressed things without turning it into some form of conflict, or putting any sort of doubt in your mind. Our relationship revealed flaws in myself that I hadn't been aware of, it took losing someone I cared about to acknowledge and address my issues. Im currently working on improving that so I don't make the same mistakes in the future. Being stonewalled was very difficult for me to process and now I know why. I'm sure you won't reply and I'm okay with that, I just don't want you to resent me.
@swadey2.017 Perfect idea! No contact forever is the way to go! I thought I was going crazy because I couldn't quit thinking of him. Every time he came to mind, I stopped and told myself I "wasn't allowed to think of him"...took me several weeks but it worked! Moving on from a toxic or narcissistic relationship is HELL! But you can do it! You're worth it and your time is valuable on this earth🩷🩷🩷
That's exactly what I had to endure many times throughout our break up until I finally went NO CONTACT
If you break up. Just break up and no contact. Unless he shows up on your doorstep and apologized, realized their mistake and tells you how to fix things with you. Otherwise, don't reply.
Even if they show up at your doorstep, and apologize is not guarantee for changing their behavior unfortunately.
People love to keep others in their life ,and at times when no contact start to work they will use any way to keep the connection on .
@@renataelhamid7542 That depends on what they did and your disposition. As long as it does not include any abuse or cheating and the man wants to date you, to marry you, there is no reason to hold it against him. Save the relationship if you can save it.
Some people use word "break up" for leverage. I don't. PRIDE is what usually stop people from getting true happiness. If you want to be with the person, and he wants to be with you. You are both willing to work it out, then leave the pride and take the risk. Again, as long as it's not chronic cheating, he didn't get another woman pregnant and he didn't lay a finger on me, I can overlook the mistake. But of course, that's just me.
@@dimpledimple5545 I agree. I had to learn the hard way. Over 15 months, my ex who dumped me, contacted me several times, he even sent a present. Each time I responded out of hope. He disappeared for months. When he last contacted me with nostalgic and vulnerable messages and called, I paused and read between the lines : there was nothing saying he wanted me back. He seemed to want to see me. He texted he still had the good memories and the love I gave him in his heart "despite I was not always that nice. or it didn't work out" which was half acknowledging his faults, but also not owning the fact he dumped me and we didn't drift apart... He called I didn't respond. So he texted he was curious how I am doing and he'd like it if I call-back.
I was overwhelmed and resentful, confused. It could be the same as before, checking his access to me. So in doubt, I ignored. It's been 2 months, he hasn't tried again. Is it proof he wasn't serious?
@@MissSarahGMin the same situation he isn't serious my dear. He is evil
i needed this 😭 right now my ex reach out she said she saw me, and then she just said she dont have a plan to comeback to our relationship, she said she just want someone to talk, i'm really hurting right now 😢 my fault i replied to her message 😔😭
Is why I am glad I don't return to my ex's and I won't...cause I am loving my life more. Since I am single for 11 month's and counting. I desire to begin my life without validation from men's. I don't chase men's or want men's to chase me. I 💯 enjoy my own company.
I’m on the same path it’s been a little over 6 months at this point I feel like I’m regressing, missing them more than ever. But also I still want to be single and on my own. I don’t think I would want them back in a relationship.
I like this guy... The lessons he teaches! So important, we don't realize until he says it.
Exactly next time he comes back I tell him I'm not interested nothing changed not wasting any more of my time
I’m dealing with that exact situation right now. The good thing is I’ve finally put my foot down and decided to block this person for life.
Just the best Matthew Hussey
I have to admit, that if I had been that mature and listened to his valid advice, my partner and I wouldn't have gotten back together after a breakup. But then we also grew together, we both wanted to keep trying and now we have grown and the bad patterns have been changed. We just weren't there yet at that time.
Best advice ever I got as this man coming back, I saw this video few weeks ago and I was like that’s right actually, he is selfish nothing for me here. You triggered very good thing in me and changed a lot. Thank you
Some people don't have the ability to heal themselves so they try to keep around those who do have the ability and power to heal others as well as themselves powerful 🙏🙏🙏
"They want to check that you're still there"
That person can kick rocks 🪨
It's a ego boost for them
Hope your doing good text always comes 😂
Why is that text bad?
Dear Mathew from the bottom of my heart u are so articulate, to the point that my poor brain wants to hug you.
not true I don't want u unhappy I just want to be the one that makes you happy I swear good night I still care like crazy for you
The way I see it is “why would I want to step in shit twice?”🤷🏻♀️
OMG. EXACTLY what I’m facing at the moment.
They could be feeling it out, not everyone operates so officiaslly
depends on the context, my ex has been contacted me sporadically over 15 months, it was plenty of time to feel it out.
After 4 months of dating i saw the behavior pattern. We had conversations about our standards. Changes were brief. Hence i see no promise in the coming months other than pain, frustration, and being breadcrumb drunk. I'm done.
SO WELL SAID
This is exactly what I've been talking about for year's thank you 🙏🙏🙏 for this Snapple fact's WOW the truth how emotionally selfish some people can be truly true
My ex and I broke up and got back together this way more times than I care to count. Each time me hoping that it’ll get better, he’ll give me what I need from him although I never held him accountable. I should have seen this before.😢
Don’t feel bad we’ve all done it.. how’s it been since?
Did he apologise before? I think that would show if there is insight gained or not.
I also ignored my ex's last reach out
Dump him 🎉
Update please
My ex messaged me after 2 mos of break up asking if he left his jacket here in my place.😅😅😅
Amen,I love and claim this message,it's so to the point and I didn't know I needed to hear this,it's something to think about.😮
This is how one can save their relationship WOW 😢😢😢
LOL She just reached out again after another 4 months saying almost exactly what he's saying here.
Thank you Matthew!😘 had ti Heart this, again and again.
Especially when they Broke up with you💀 Like I’m supposed to stand by you ?
THIS!!! 🎉 ^^^^ 😂😂😂 they are that dumb to think so !
Heh, if my ex texted me saying he missed me, I'd say, "Nope." And block him.
You are amazing Mathew ❤
You know facts man
Truth
I miss her but nah I’m better off alone
Very true
Bingo!
Great speech I follow and I dnt give dam care I follow me now 🤣🤣🤣
Wow the truth Snapple fact's WOW 😂😂😂😂😂
THIS IS RIDICULUS TO ANALYIZE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT NO RELATIONSHIP WILL WORK .
This relationship nonsense is SO FUCKING EXHAUSTING...."I'd rather be the crazy old dog lady than have some medium ugly man sitting in my house making me question my worth!"-Lady Gaga
I told her i will not be a vending machine of validation she can put a nickel in anytime the other men in her life are not giving her the attention she wants.
She just reached out again after another 4 months saying almost exactly what he's saying here.
What interview is this?
The new American Way -- young people have tons of information and no knowledge.
Ouch 😢
💯
🎯
What about if you broke up with them bc they were being unappreciative and distant. Who is the one who should be making the effort then? What if the one who did the breaking up wants them to acknowledge all of the areas for growth?
YOU!!!
Coming from someone who was broken up with 2 months ago, the dumper should reach out. I’ll never reach out no matter how I feel, I miss her yes, but I would NEVER reach out
Lmao this happened to me on the holidays of 2023. My ex girlfriend said the exact same thing
How should we act?
Just block n moves.. your time finished..
So true. I was doing alright bit by bit in no got to 2 weeks. She reaches out feeds me false hope and vanishes again. So we start again say 1 nc
How's it going what did she say
What's the name of the background music?
😢
Why my ex is sending me informative messages..what does it imply
👌😘
This is so important. When someone reaches out to you, make sure they offer you something to make peace and make amends.
Feelings are not enough. Confronting you with their feelings is just another way of love-bombing. They shower you with feelings so YOU make peace with them, without them needing to take responsibility for their behaviour and correcting themselves.
This is manipulation. A real apology includes a committed declaration of what they are going to do to change their mistakes. Anything else is smoke and mirrors, and of no worth.
Hahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Let me guess the girl advice
I disagree. You can still be good friends, even if the romance part hasn't worked out. A change in your relationship status doesn't mean you've stopped caring about your friend, or missing their company, or wishing the best for them going forward.
It just means you aren't a couple any longer. You're still friends.
Exactly right
Depends. My ex started to have sex with alot of people and told me about each of the guys as a friend. Asked even for advices etc.
When she then went back to the guy that abused her, which whom she cheated on me also, and started to take hard drugs, I did not see a chance to stay in contact.
I think he’s talking about when they reach out and want the relationship back, they are not asking to be friends but to be a couple. They just tug at your emotions without addressing what went wrong and wanting to put work into fixing things that caused the breakup.