Failing My PhD ? | Dissertation Diaries Ep 8 | Applying for Research Fellowships & Grants

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  • Опубликовано: 14 янв 2024
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    Title: Failing My PhD ? | Dissertation Diaries Ep 7| Applying for Research Fellowships & Grants #ad
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Комментарии • 79

  • @kierstenfage7097
    @kierstenfage7097 4 месяца назад +26

    Hey Kaelyn! I am also a PhD candidate in history, I work in the area of the Material Culture of Slavery and Enslavement. I'm my sixth year and still well and truly only at the beginning of my writing journey. Your videos are so inspiring and have really helped me to feel more confident in my own PhD journey! Fellowships are super difficult, you can only do what you can do- never beat yourself up about it! We are after all, "in training" and this is all part of the PhD learning journey! You've got this!!

  • @keziahshyah
    @keziahshyah 4 месяца назад +44

    I love watching the dissertation diaries while on my work breaks! Keeps me in the study mood while allowing me to break

  • @fdoctor79
    @fdoctor79 4 месяца назад +18

    As a PhD student, I totally understand the frustration of things not going as "planned" and having to pivot. 😅 Hang in there and know you are not alone. Tfs

  • @lizee708
    @lizee708 4 месяца назад +11

    Always appreciate your willingness to be honest and show the real side of the journey. It's not always glitz and things will always go your way. I start my PhD program in a few months and although excited, I'm terrified. Your videos help with all the emotions and clips of Moo is the best!!

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 4 месяца назад

      PhD journey is mostly failure & iteration

  • @janalewis3030
    @janalewis3030 4 месяца назад +20

    Congratulations on getting some fellowship items done. Good luck on the rest. You'll be able to look back in 5 years and go "Wow - that really was a lot of hard work and I made it through!!" :)

  • @anthonyv.8668
    @anthonyv.8668 4 месяца назад +49

    A Yale legal history dissertation that may help you is: "Religion and law in colonial New England, 1620-1730" by Katherine Hermes.

  • @tessmccoy6949
    @tessmccoy6949 4 месяца назад +7

    I’ve also had to say “I don’t want this” to my advisor about fellowships and it’s really hard! It feels like you’re supposed to but also have to tel yourself it’s your life and you get to decide if you want to move, spend the time, etc. Also, totally feeling the breakdowns… had a big one this weekend🙃

  • @Academicdebs
    @Academicdebs 4 месяца назад +20

    Hey Kaelyn! I hope that you're doing well... I'm not a historian, my masters is on another field but I totally relate with your journey and I just wanna to say that you are not failling, research has a lot of surprises during it's process and that it a challenge but not a failure. Just keep going! Each day, little by litte you will get there :)

  • @hollyc4624
    @hollyc4624 4 месяца назад +5

    I remember being in those shoes years ago. I worked on an Honors’ thesis that was the size of a master’s thesis and then a master’s that was really a PhD program. I finished the Honors’ thesis and left the doctoral program for my true passion, medical school and neurology. I’m glad I did but I love watching the process of doing research in an historical field. It is so completely different than the STEM research that I was involved in. I love your mindset and work ethic. When it becomes overwhelming, just realize that you have many people pulling for you to succeed, and you will. 😊

  • @withzunaira
    @withzunaira 4 месяца назад +4

    I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable with us. Much love.

  • @onto-epistemology9792
    @onto-epistemology9792 4 месяца назад +8

    Keep going! I am also writing my PhD dissertation and totally understand you.🙂

  • @Livvyellisor
    @Livvyellisor 4 месяца назад +4

    Love watching these for my own motivation. You got this, Kaelyn!

  • @karleybioanthro
    @karleybioanthro 4 месяца назад +2

    Yeah. Outlines help sooo much! I need them every time I write something!

  • @MauraBrennan
    @MauraBrennan 4 месяца назад +5

    Scrintal sounds super cool--I also feel frustrated by trying to mind map on paper, so I'm excited to check it out.
    It's true that managing a balance between navigating large amounts primary source material and figuring out when to really start writing intensively is tricky. I think your feeling that you need more archival time is pretty accurate, from what you're depicting, and I hope the upcoming trips are fruitful for you. What you're doing requires so much processing in several different ways, and it takes time!! I hope you get the funding you need to stay in London!

  • @Kdmud
    @Kdmud 4 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for the Scrintal recommendation, I immediately got it ( it is exactly what I was dreaming of when thinking of mind mapping!), and I am so excited to take the deep dive into the program. I love your videos because even though I am an older study from home gal, watching your journey has boosted my enthusiasm in my study journey. And, the decisions you made in this video made me so happy for you. You really get to the core of what you want and how you want to live your life, and then apply it to your work and path…which to me is chef’s kiss decision making! 🎉

  • @charlotteclarke691
    @charlotteclarke691 4 месяца назад +2

    With Google docs- if you go onto file then page set up you can change the page colour

  • @dvrk_academic
    @dvrk_academic 4 месяца назад +2

    These videos really validate my own struggles in my phd - I feel blocked constantly but hopefully it'll get better soon

  • @mll1208
    @mll1208 4 месяца назад +1

    Hi Kaelyn, I resonate so much with your struggle with feeling like the research is advanced enough for getting fellowships! I just submitted my funding application for a sixth year, and as a PhD student in the UK for a US university, same: I don't really want to move back! Thank you so much for sharing your process, it's so nice to hear it from a fellow PhD student! I want to try Scrintal after seeing you using it.

  • @paulaa5866
    @paulaa5866 4 месяца назад

    your vlogs give me a comfort I didn't know I needed as an undergrad! thank you for sharing, I'm enjoying this series, and I hope you feel more and more secure with your dissertation! fighting!!!

  • @johnsoniega3812
    @johnsoniega3812 4 месяца назад +1

    Hi Kaelyn, I am also a Historian in training doing a PhD atm and your videos are super inspiring! Keep pushing through the challenges!

  • @kvirklub
    @kvirklub 4 месяца назад +3

    thanks for sharing! I am currently writing scholarship applications, too, and this video supported me. it is quite sad that these things are so difficult to complete without breaking down at least once...

  • @Dreamer30190
    @Dreamer30190 4 месяца назад

    Another wonderful vlog. I wish scrintal had a free version or a trial version looks great !! Best of luck on your fellowship application

  • @trewaldo
    @trewaldo 4 месяца назад

    I usually view failure as ideas or or attempts that never work so it would make me cross out my list of options until I come across with the one that works. Great video again, Kaelyn! Cheers! 😍🤓🥰

  • @sweeeeeet85
    @sweeeeeet85 4 месяца назад

    Ugh I remember the struggles of this moment in the 4th/5th years of the PhD and all the fellowship applications. It was so so hard and took up so much time. I'm also working on a PhD from a U.S. university living in Europe since the pandemic started. I got stuck here while doing research and just decided I wanted to get enough funding to not have to go back. It was seriously so much time and effort but now I've managed to fund the PhD until my proposed end date and it feels really good to have that weight off my shoulders. I'm convinced things will also work out this way for you! It's really helpful to see someone in a similar position because I've felt sometimes like I am cheating or not doing the PhD correctly having now spent more time away than on campus. But I've just been focused on beefing up my connections here so that I can hopefully eventually stay for good.

  • @nattynoodlenutkin
    @nattynoodlenutkin 2 месяца назад

    Moo and London boy just melted my heart - the unexpected double act!

    • @nattynoodlenutkin
      @nattynoodlenutkin 2 месяца назад

      Just seen the mini-meltdown and your realisation that you don't want the two fellowships. You cannot force a round peg into a square hole. You can't break yourself just to do what you think is expected of you. It made me feel really proud that you made the decision and took the step to find something that fits you better. Hopefully, as I catch up on your videos, I'll discover that you've found something that helps you soar ❤

  • @1988Keish
    @1988Keish 4 месяца назад

    In dissertation mode as well. Thank you for being transparent in regards to hoe you are processing. Definitely going through it

  • @Gavriela.1234
    @Gavriela.1234 4 месяца назад +1

    Stay strong girl!❤ you will make it at the end I am sure 🎉❤ phd is not an easy journey for sure but you got it! Greetings from Rotterdam.

  • @dissertatinopossum
    @dissertatinopossum 4 месяца назад +1

    Awesome on you for getting fellowship applications out. Its really hard to fit in when you have research to do! Applying for postdoc fellowships to start at the end of my PhD (I am in my last semester) took soooo much of my time.

    • @KaelynGraceApple
      @KaelynGraceApple  4 месяца назад +1

      wishing you the best of luck with your postdoc apps!

  • @rubenvictorinobalderas9530
    @rubenvictorinobalderas9530 4 месяца назад

    Todo de ti es maravilloso!!!!

  • @robertgarcia9981
    @robertgarcia9981 4 месяца назад

    You got this! You're videos are very inspirational!

  • @lpds52
    @lpds52 4 месяца назад +1

    Do you edit directly on Google Docs?
    Instead consider save the files in GDrive but edit in an external editor (at least MS Word / Libreoffice has dark mode). Scrivener also has that option...

  • @alexsandracavalcanti3179
    @alexsandracavalcanti3179 4 месяца назад

    Kaelyn, hello! I am in political science masters and I really know how it is to think we don't have enough to write. The solution has been, at least for me, read a new piece of literature, get inspiration, and then write while collect more data. Human sciences are very hard because the studies data collection, data analysis, and writing happens all in the same time. There is no schedule! Let's go ahead ❤

  • @eustaquiozambrano2974
    @eustaquiozambrano2974 4 месяца назад

    Thanks for sharing.
    Have a good Day 👍

  • @lajourdanne
    @lajourdanne 4 месяца назад +7

    Have you tried Scrivener? I had to use it for my dissertation because it just gave me more flexibility in moving sections and seeing from bird’s eye view. Then I export each draft as a word doc with the date updated. You can change the background to whatever color you want including using dark mode. I wanted to know your thoughts.

    • @SalsabilAlmaniya
      @SalsabilAlmaniya 4 месяца назад +2

      I thought the same when you described your difficulties. Scrivener also has dark themes and focus mode with any chosen (dark) background. Unfortunately, it's not easy to integrate a reference manager like Zotero.
      By the way, I very much enjoy how much you go in detail when talking about your research. I am also doing my PhD in History, in Islamic history, though, and I can totally relate. Enjoyed this vlog!

    • @KaelynGraceApple
      @KaelynGraceApple  4 месяца назад +1

      Oh I will check it out!

    • @KaelynGraceApple
      @KaelynGraceApple  4 месяца назад

  • @reginayfavors
    @reginayfavors 14 дней назад

    Your puppy is life baby. I've watched three of your videos, and I am in love with your fur baby! Are you graduate teaching too?

  • @Shelleebeee
    @Shelleebeee 4 месяца назад +7

    Is it a Kaelyn video if the phrase “I’m gonna go ‘head and…” doesn’t appear multiple times 😂

  • @zoonpolitikon1648
    @zoonpolitikon1648 4 месяца назад

    Thanks for the vulnerability. It helps.

  • @shanshangalan8074
    @shanshangalan8074 4 месяца назад

    Yea I do too I am working on my thesis for my writers group program I am in

  • @lookin4avampire
    @lookin4avampire 4 месяца назад +1

    I really liked the songs in the background of this one😊

  • @kbird6208
    @kbird6208 4 месяца назад

    How much archival research is typically needed for history dissertations? I'm in STEM so I have zero idea

    • @KaelynGraceApple
      @KaelynGraceApple  4 месяца назад

      Depends on the project! Mine will require a significant amount because I am looking for 'a needle in a haystack' as they say

  • @dalishrogue3621
    @dalishrogue3621 4 месяца назад

    The only time I use Google is when I have to. Otherwise, I'm just grateful that my school pays for Word. It might just be that I'm too stubborn to change word processing. Also, I stopped watching your videos for awhile and it's funny that now that I've returned I learned that you weren't a fellow lit major haha. Good luck!

  • @andresmalaver6802
    @andresmalaver6802 4 месяца назад

    MOO!!!

  • @hazelorb
    @hazelorb 4 месяца назад

    Moo and LB 🥺😍

  • @greenpill7320
    @greenpill7320 4 месяца назад +1

    Hey what made you decide to major in AA history? you don't look AA idk if you are or not but just going off of looks I'm curious

    • @margaretschachte489
      @margaretschachte489 4 месяца назад

      She probably just thinks it's an interesting subject and wants to study it?

    • @greenpill7320
      @greenpill7320 4 месяца назад

      @@margaretschachte489 yes but out of all the subjects of history I was just curious why she chose it as a major.

    • @naziajasmintalukdar
      @naziajasmintalukdar 4 месяца назад

      ​I am Masters Student of History and I know it is a challenging subject (even though nothing compared to a phd program) but the passion and interest for the subject keeps me going.
      I will certainly do a phd in this subject
      @@greenpill7320

  • @shanshangalan8074
    @shanshangalan8074 4 месяца назад

    How many words or chapters do you have to write

    • @KaelynGraceApple
      @KaelynGraceApple  4 месяца назад

      about 100,000 words in total

    • @shanshangalan8074
      @shanshangalan8074 4 месяца назад

      @@KaelynGraceApple that is like a book are you going to published it when you done. I am working on my thesis right now for my writing program I am in

  • @kristinadube7032
    @kristinadube7032 4 месяца назад

    Me right now realizing I botched my gpa a bit and am going to struggle during law school admissions. 😢

    • @KaelynGraceApple
      @KaelynGraceApple  4 месяца назад +1

      wishing you the best of luck

    • @kristinadube7032
      @kristinadube7032 4 месяца назад

      @@KaelynGraceApple thanks love. Luckily I still have my bachelor's gpa to hopefully save me.

  • @citrinedreaming
    @citrinedreaming 4 месяца назад

    Has any of your research talked about the actual terminology of “ventrum” versus “patrum” and how by using “ventrum” over “matrum” (as comparable to “patrum”) it disconnects the womb from the woman and therefore the terminology itself is dehumanizing? Idk if this is something that has been discussed at all or if you have thought of it, but it seems worth pointing out ❤ (edited to add this might have something to do with the womb often being that of an enslaved woman so it’s so much worse because of that)

  • @theoryof.lauren
    @theoryof.lauren 4 месяца назад +3

    you've got this kaelyn!!! 🤍