I married a single mom who was good at putting "US" as the team. It wasn't enough. A horrible ex-husband was too much. Unfortunately, she had a very, very, crappy ex. He actively taught his children to hate me. His lessons stuck with the boy, the girl went her own way. Her ex died a few years ago. It didn't change anything. The boy, now a man in his early 40s still hates me. The girl, a woman now in her late 40s is fine. Was it worth it? Absolutely not.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️ and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 I think you might benefit from my WakeUP2Luv program... curious: members.wingmam.com/get-women/
@@YourWingmam Thanks for your desire that I heal. I'm glad to say, after a few short years I am in great mental, emotional, spiritual shape. I did that with purposeful directed desire and action. Not always an easy path. I haven't yet taken your course only because I'm not yet ready to start the search for a long term relationship. However, that time is rapidly approaching.
Hi Jason, you obviously went all the way.. I am sure you had a great hear of love towards your wife. Could you share the actual experiences that you had, i.e. did it all start with your wife wanting you to be the new father, and all positivity, and then how did it end up in him hating you? Does this mean that step sons will hate step fathers. I know many people who had step fathers, some of my close friends. room mates, and it wasnt all that good as it sounded initially, and many of these step fathers ended up divorcing, with all blame on the man. What's going on.. tell us.
The single moms kids all want me as their dad but mostly get along better with kids then mother. It happens alot to me but my cousins tell me the opposite story
Yeah, I've noticed that single moms love to use their children to virtue signal on dating apps and social media. Excessive virtue signaling is a major red flag to me because people usually try to use it as a substitute for personal growth. It should go without saying that your kids come first, so if you're saying it, I'm automatically skeptical. Your actions should speak for themselves. I will put your kids first wether you do or not. If that means dumping your ass, so be it.
Not really the case that all single mothers put their kids first . Some do and others dont . And some of them who really like me show me that most of time is for their kids and not you . It may be virtuous thing but I wont be in third place for anyone again. I dated too many and i tell them in a nice way that if you cant make me number one priority then I cant make this relationship a number one priority either as i am sick of coming in 5th place in any relationship.
When you're married, the spouse goes first but if she's just dating you then she shouldn't automatically put you first. She's just starting to know you.
Just ended a relationship like this today. The red flags are flying high and i got out of it cause it's just NOT WORTH IT. Watching this just solidified my choice as being the right one
Great video, Anna. Unfortunately, I dated two single moms. Both relationships were a total train wreck! I ended up in counseling after the second one. The counselor basically told me that I was a "rescuer" and that I shouldn't waste my time (and money) on this type of woman. Fortunately, I'm cured of that disease now. Keep up the great work.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️ I think you might benefit from my WakeUP2Luv program... curious: members.wingmam.com/get-women/
I'm dating a single mom with 2 teenage kids. I have firmly set my boundaries and I am not willing to budge. I'm not captain save-a-hoe nor am I insta-dad. If that ends up being unacceptable, so be it. I'd rather be alone than deal with the drama.
You do realize that in some states if you do move in together or get married you are exposing yourself to child support payments for those kids if you guys get divorced or end up breaking even if those kids are not yours! Do you realize that? You will have all the responsibility and none of the authority. The kids dad have unprinted their mark on her. In a sense they will always have access to her if they really want to. Only a man who doesn't know his own value would date a single mom. There are many single women out there without kids. Why the hell would you do that to yourself? Know your own value, man. Why do you want to pay for her mistakes? Why are you drinking another man's left over beer and feeling his spit. Cause that is what dating a single mom is like. Can't you get your own beer, man. Common, man!!! Wake up. You deserve better.
@Gabo H She has checks off many of the green flags and none of the red flags. I consider her a "high value" woman. But I'm definitely not interested in stepping into the dad role with no authority. Plus, I have my own kids and I don't want to involve them in any unnecessary drama. Believe me, a younger woman without kids would be plenty of drama.
Single moms are not looking for love, they’re looking for help, and honestly guys, think of it like picking up someone else’s saved the game file, Don’t do it guys stay away from them, you’ll be happier
I agree actually my boss that I work with is female and she has a kid and she's single the kid is 8 years old I'm sort of attracted to her but I said to myself it'd be a big mistake. I have a really good life peaceful no kids and I'm single I can do whatever I want. But just listening to her her life is very complex and it seems she would be very difficult for anyone to get along with her it's amazes me how these women have kids without getting married first
Not true, unfortunately there are women like that. But some of us have careers, own our home, and support our child all on our own. We have savings accounts and live a good life and simply want company and to share life with someone.
@@aideenreyes6818 I’m glad you spoke up on that. I’m in a situation with a lovely lady that has a career and her own home and she’s doing great. It just confuses me how all of the singles moms are trashed in one category. I have older sisters that had kids, one is married but my other one isn’t. But they’re lovely ladies and have pure intentions. It’s just crazy to me. All of it.
One of the hardest parts is when we really like the kid(s) and form a strong bond...and then the relationship flames out. Sometimes losing that is much harder than losing her.
Ending the relationship with her kids was definitely harder than ending the relationship with her because the kids were awesome and they didn't do anything wrong
Dating single mom is a test for a men, to appreciate his life being alone. It comes with a lot of responsibilities as well as countless heartbreaks. At 26 I got into it, came out at 30 with bunch of white hair in m beard.
No its not losers get real being in the forest for a week alone is a test for real men ur a simp thinking he was pimping until she did u in like she did her BD and know ur playing the victim role simp u will not get sympathy for being a simp.
I wish you had this video out in 2014. I was tryin' like the dickens to have a relationship with a single mom that I met in a church singles group. Her son and I got along great, and we shared similar interests. However, she had a ton of issues that I just didn't deal with too well. She had daddy issues, mommy issues, money issues, and good grief the list kept growing. She liked having me around, yet she kept me at arm's length (i.e., friend zone). However, one day, she was just rude enough toward me (the last straw), I just immediately got in my truck and drove off into the sunset. I ain't looked back since then. I'm good.
@@esau93631 He's probably a good guy and is helpful to the single mother. I've known several, but their standards have only gone up since having their kids. They used to want someone rich. Now they want someone rich, retired who will put up with her, her kid, her ex, provide a new house and travel the world.
I had a on/off 7 year relationship with a Single Mother. Over time the pre teen Son came to live with Us. He walked in saying U are NOT my Father...it when down hill fast. I eventually walked away
I WILL NEVER DATE A SINGLE MOM EVER AGAIN. Everything you say is true. I remember a weekend was canceled because her son wouldn’t go to his dad’s even though that was the court settlement. So whenever he didn’t want to see his dad that trumped any and all plans we ever made. I can’t say she was a bad mom exactly but she wasn’t a nurturing mother. Nothing in her playbook was about positive reinforcement or emotional support or validating their feelings. It was really hard to watch at times. At dinner her oldest son would come downstairs to get his plate then go back up to his room, close the door and play Xbox the rest of the night. She was Catholic but didn’t go to mass because her kids wouldn’t go. And on and on this went. She did go to soccer and basketball with her kids. So all their material, social and physical needs were met. But we could never be affectionate around her kids because THEY DIDN’T LIKE IT. They were not only her priority, I’m not sure I ever really existed. 🤷♂️
A painful experience with a lot of lessons for sure! I have to say, it sounds like you'd make a great dad based on your comment. Positive reinforcement, emotional support and validating kids feelings is how you create a well adjusted emotionally healthy person. The world needs more parents like that! :)
@Anthony Manzio Reality is often depressing. They need to grow up and come to terms with that. They can't live in la la land their entire life. Reality will bust in like the Kool aid man eventually and pull them out of the clouds.
@Anthony Manzio I said nothing of the sort. They just need to come to terms with reality. And the whole companionship argument is an emotional appeal which is a logical fallacy. With how modern vvomen are today, I'd much rather be alone than to lose my sanity and peaceful life to a nagging harpy with literal miles of diq ran through her.
I was a single dad, raising my teenage daughter with sole custody. Phew! Personally I knew when I had a relationship with single moms that I wouldn't be the number one, of course I would expect the mom to have her children to be top priority. My last x-wife was a less than a good mom. Her teenager daughter got into her mom's face and very disrespectful, I called her out on her behavior, of course "you're not my dad!" My retort was, "yeah I know! But you will not show such disrespect to my wife!".
I got lucky! I was dating a single mom way back in the late '80s she was 19 I was 25 she had a one year old girl the baby daddy never really spent time with his daughter and Angie who I was dating never push me away because of her daughter she always included me and her daughter as one! So years later her daughter was also my daughter! They never said I was a stepdad neither did my in-laws consider me a stepdad they consider me the dad! Now I've been married to the same woman for 27 years now my daughter is 35 and has her own family and I have grandkids! And me and my wife had own daughter together so I have two daughters! My youngest is 25 now! So it's possible to find a decent single mom! Oh I hate to toot my own horn I am a decent dude!
Not all single mothers are to be avoided there are some single mothers you might want to consider dating and my video ONLY Consider Dating These Types of SINGLE MOMS! (She's a Good Single Mother to Date IF...) will give you the clarity you need check it out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
I am a single father and have been sole supporter while her mom had to take time to sort out mental health problems (she is doing well and doing a lot of effort to catch up with our daughter so that's all good). During that time I dated single women, a great single mom, a terrible single mom older women and one youngster half my age. Every point here is valid for single dads as much as for single mothers. In my experience and opinion: experience told me the best options are very young women because they are the least impact on the family unit. I have essays to write on this topic. Seeing as I am becoming interested in long-term relationships, the best is to wait and be left alone far as dating goes until my daughter has her own space. Single parent plus child is a family unit, family unit needs stability. It is a big change when my daughter has a boyfriend even. Respect the family unit.
Being a single dad is different. Most men did not make decision to leave their child's mother. Most men have been left by a woman who was on her "journey" of happiness. Or what they think is the better deal. Single dads are far less dangerous as a single mother thanks to the modern "family law" here in the west. Men do a better job separating their responsibilities of raising their children and caring for a spouse. Men have an easier time accepting the fact that some women may not want to date them because they have children. Women on the other hand seem to get pissed when you tell them no for the same reason.
I'm curious to know more because I am also a single dad I have been single for two years I have also been celibate for that time recently I meet this young single mom we only talk in person when I go to eat with my son at her workplace so I have been really thinking about asking her for her number and go out on a date with her but honestly I don't know if I should so I like to know your thoughts
I ran into a single mom I already knew at a bar. She ended up taking me home. I found out there was no babysitter. The kids were up late because they had not had dinner. Mom was more interested in sending them to bed so she could do the same with me. I was both embarrassed and pissed to be that excuse. I helped the kids make their dinner (mac and cheese with hotdogs - quick). By this point, mom had passed out. I ended up taking her to the ER. I can remember what I helped the kids make for dinner. I can't remember if I left mom in the ER, or brought her home and and then left. Making dinner with her kids was the high point of the evening and I had no expectations after that.
Wow, I had a similar experience dating a single mom. She would tell her kids that she would be there for them at a specific time and place, and then blow them off at the last minute to spend time with me. I told her that's not ok with me, but she gave me the excuse that her kids are used to it, and she became sneaky about it so I would only find out after the fact. Her kids and I got along great at first, but they quickly grew to resent me for this and it ultimately undermined the relationship. I feel so bad for her kids and I pray for them.
Anna, dated a few single moms. All the red flags you discussed I experienced. Another very informative video that I hope helps those in one of these complicated relationships.
Awesome video. Definitely been here with a couple single moms. Out of all the points, the relationship with the ex is pivotal. That will define how the child/children behave, and how much interference there is, and possibly undermine your relationship.
I'm currently dating a single mom. Her ex isn't in the picture and she makes just enough to afford herself, her mom and her child. The kid and I have met and he's showed me nothing but respect and admiration. His mom was in a bad place when we first dated and she was triggered by a lot of things because of the stuff she went through. She's also held herself accountable for the previous relationships failing and she grew to learn to be what a woman is expected to be in a relationship. I almost ended things at one point but something told me to stay and see where this goes. Now we're 9 months away from celebrating our 3 year anniversary and the people in my family love her. She's healed now and doing her best to be everything I need
Key statement: "She's also held herself accountable for the previous relationships failing and she grew to learn to be what a woman is expected to be in a relationship." Happy for you!
I dated a single mother of 3 and 8 years older than me for two years. I knew what I was getting myself into but I learned so much from her and everything felt perfect. It was greatest feeling meeting her kids and her mother. Because of my career and future goals, we had no choice to end the relationship. We love each other very much but shes worried will I be able to provide enough. I miss her very much
There's one more situation that I can think of that is the new boyfriend eventually becomes the babysitter while mom says that she needs to go out and do things, only to find out she's seeing another guy.
I once dated a single mom who left her kid in Brazil with the grandma and traveled the world, landing in the states. When we met her kid was 19 and had tons of resentment towards her about it. She wanted me to deal with the kid's issues. Bad moms are a no-go.
Unfortunately, society provides so many justifications for the deleterious decisions in the world of women that emotional "healing" is regularly stunted. The fear of rock-bottom is (more often than not) necessary for a dramatic change to occur. In other words, a "healed" single modern mom is a unicorn. Great video as always though, hun!
Currently been seeing a single mom, and we're in the works of setting up that relationship and building trust. She's super loving towards her son who's only almost 2, and the dad isn't in the picture. I already knew a lot of these points as they were advice given by others, but this still really helped solidify that I feel she's a keeper and things may go well between us, as she and her son have both opened up a lot to me. Thanks for all this!
It sounds like for one thing you got lucky with the timing. With the kid being almost 2, she probably feels like she could actually use some help raising him. She's probably not set in her ways as a parent, since she's relatively new at it and still developing her parenting style. The kid is still young and impressionable enough that the two of you could form a strong bond and become very close. You are blessed that the father isn't in the picture because that really simplifies things for you, and it's not up to you wether he's in the picture or not
Some day that kid will find out your not his or her dad and drop the bomb on you , don't do it bro , runnnnnnnnn !!.... Come back to this comment in the future and let me know , prove me wrong ... Best of luck 🤞
Just wait man soon as the kid gets into his/her so called “fun” stage where the kid starts talking and is out of diapers and less of a responsibility. That’s when he will show back up and play super dad/Disney dad
@@StomerMadGermzOfficial I totally agree with you bro, I been there with the Sameage as little as months old. My man is happy thinnking that he’s gonna rose the child and have life with her ever after. I wish that was the case. Woman like tbat didn’t make it work with her actual baby father he thinks she would care if things workout with him or not. She’s just using him for the sake of doing this. Wait until the little one grow up and he’s no longer needed or maybe even a year from now. Also there is so much possiblity that she can go back to her ex what is he gonna do or say. He has no say and will never be the man in the house. I wish he opens he’s eyes and ruuuuuuuuuun women like that need “superhero”type of guy to suck their life/blood/money/youth and then in the end leave him and blame it all on him. He would end up a woman hater. Single mum are well known to be law hanging fruits any man can get her. She doesn’t pick and choose. By years ahead of you (in dating and actual been with single mothers) run for it it’s not worth it and it won’t work. She will never ever respect you as real man. And she knows that you not the real dad. At first they all very submissive as soon as she knows she control you (that comes slowly) she will start talking to you like shit) ain’t no way you gonna be ever happy with her (that’s very very very few that actually made it work) and I hope you can too. I’m not hating on you bro.
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That was some very good advice. I get along quite well with a few single moms I know, and some who I use to interact with, but never dated one and don't intend to because of the possible disrespect of the child, and having to pay for most of the child's needs plus my own. Another way single moms can finally date again, or even get married is if their kids are grown and out of the house they grew up in. One of my uncles married a single mom in 2018 whose son is grown now, and so far his relationship with her is going very well. They're both in their 50's but they're happy together, and the son isn't causing them any major problems when all 3 of them interact with each other.
I fully agree. I believe that it is almost impossible to find a suitable single mom as long as they are still busy raising the child, dealing with the ex, etc. Once this is fixed, there might be a chance....
A work friend had this expression "She's a 'leverite'". The first time I heard this I said "Huh?". He said "Leverite - Leave 'er right where you found her." LOL
I consider my experience with a single mom a test from God. This situation included a crappy baby daddy that made the big mistake of showing up to a nightclub where I worked as a bouncer. Needless to say that part of the situation was resolved. I kept close contact with my daughter and even received admiration from her moms other kids, it matured me in ways that only God could have planned.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Sounds like you've handled these situations well and glad you're close with your daughter. Fathers are so important!! God bless!
Anna, it goes both ways, I'm single dad, but daughter is a judger of women, which I have never invited her to meet because I have not met the one. Very protective.
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I'm watching this as a single mom. Honestly gave me hope since I know I'm a high value woman, a good mother, I am healed from the past but still working on me... and I agree with everything discussed here. Men need to be aware of these things. Healing is the most important thing you do for your kids and for any future relationship.
@NunyaDambizness you sound ignorant I'm probly a way better woman than any single woman out there. Every situation is different. And unless you knew a person don't make comments on who YOU think they are.
The one time I'd consider dating a single mother is if I was considerably older than I am now (I'm 38) and I met a woman whose kids were "off to college" age. They're not kids anymore, and if you're meeting someone in the second half of life of course it's unreasonable not to have expected them to have lived a life before meeting you. But until then single mothers go in the same category as hairdressers, horse girls, girls with a hyphenated first name etc; avoid at all costs.
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I’ve had a couple of relationships with single moms, and one marriage that failed with a single mom. There was always a sense of jealousy between the mom towards the daughter. Example: took my ex-wife’s daughter to help me pick out a dress for her mom for Mother’s Day, and I immediately got the 3rd degree. My ex asked “why didn’t you take my son, why just her”? Then she asked her daughter “why didn’t she tell her that she was going with me, why’s she being sneaky”? So after I had to explain why would I take an 8yr old boy to pick out a dress when you and your daughter literally share clothes? That feeling stayed in the air in our marriage until the end even though her daughter wanted me to adopt her and I went in student loan debt for her (which her mom pushed her out as soon as she turned 18 when we both knew she wasn’t ready and didn’t have enough guidance). As soon as I got hurt at work and fell disabled is when my wife quickly and heartlessly became my ex.
Guys, if she is a single mom. Just refuse politely, there are a lot of girls out there with no kids/bagadge, she already has a husband and a father of her daughter she just decided to leave him, it's not your pieces to pick up
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Hey, that is rude. Not all single moms are like that. How dare you compare us like that. I am not a selfish person, I put everyone first. Mainly my children. Us single parents--we are mom and dad combined. Where do you get off saying this?? Are you a mom? You don't know what or how everyone of us single parents are like. This is narrow minded of you--you think in the me box. Your just like all the Karen's and you judge single parents. Someday, it could happen to you. Don't pass judgment, on us single parents. We work hard, raise our babies, we work real jobs. You pawn money off of people on RUclips and think your an expert. What goes around comes around to people who judge. Not all single parents, are rude or selfish
Single moms make the BEST buddies to single dads. My advice: look at single parents as an opportunity to safely grow your social network as to include more women (or men) you can relax with and relate to, real friends. I do regret the times this boundary was not set in my mind, a break-up is an awful thing, a friendship is priceless 👌
@@casandra4042 Oh dear... I feel tons of space was made for exceptions, and I feel that as a single father I found her raising many valid points that I would enjoy for my prospective partners to keep in mind. I don't know why you feel personally attacked and had to respond by being abusive, but even if you were just single and not a mom I would say no to a date if you asked me out. Simply by virtue of this response. Have a great day 🙃
@@casandra4042 I'm dating a single mom who hit all the green flags.. she's a great woman, mother and partner.. try watching the video again, this time without a huge chip on your shoulder
@@casandra4042 Got triggered eh? I think you are missing the sum total of Anna's and men's GENERAL view of single Mom's. There are obvious and undeniable elevated risks for men entering a relationship with a single mom. Perhaps try viewing what Anna has said from the perspective of a single man who's seeking a mate. That is what Anna is doing. You may be the exception to the generalities but THEY ARE VALID. Maybe it's YOU thinking in the "me" box. Don't be so defensive, you really missed the essence of the message and felt attacked, you were not. How dare her/us? Oh we do dare, yes indeed, for obvious reasons.
Hello Anna !💐This reminds me of a time I ended up being the babysitter and ended up loving children much more than her sleazy behind Like a curse and a blessing all at once and she wasn’t the blessing I wish your videos were a bit longer after being anxious for a whole week but it’s always worth even a glimpse and a good heartfelt message🕊 God bless you out there Anna 🙏
That's another thing I didn't mention... you could get attached to the kids and when it doesn't work out, you lose them, too! :(( I started a Wingmam Clips channel if you want to see a few short clips between Tuesdays: ruclips.net/channel/UC0roXBZyNc9cd0e2CLUUZdA God bless! :)
A " rude awakening..." GUT" check for either men or women...Since love is blind, you've done a great job Anna on taking off the blindfold! Things to remember & consider...seriously! A package deal for sure! Best to avoid🚫 the baby mama drama/ daddy drama land mine!🔥...💣....💥
When my relationship broke down, I started seeing someone with 3 kids of his own after a while and we all got along great but in hindsight, I wish I'd been given the green light by society (and relatives) to just enjoy raising my child without feeling like a failure. My own father seemed to think little of single mothers despite going to work away for 5 years when we were little! We saw him for 2weeks every six months. In my own case, turns out the man I was seeing for years only wanted help with his own kids.
I’m 21, currently dating a single mom that’s about 10 years older than me. 4 days in and this is already one hell of a challenge. Already met her kid I think a little too soon but he loves me already but I don’t think she was ready for all that yet and now thinks of me as just a friend
This will be one of those rare times in my life that I didn’t make a horrendous mistake. Reading all the comments here confirms it. Great video, love ya like a sister, but I’ll absolutely will not date a SM. Best of luck to them all.
Definitely it is important to date a woman who has gone to therapy to get over her emotional baggage from the previous relationship if it ended badly. My ex-wife felt that everyone, including her own son needed therapy; except for her. If they constantly speak badly about their ex, they will take it out on their children and you will pay for the sins of their ex.
Your advice and views are spot on for men in their 20s and 30s. I'm 50 and my options for dating have become limited. I'm at a point where the dating pool is almost 90% single moms. Their kids are almost fully grown and many of the moms are now grandparents. Any advice for us 50 year olds?
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Thank you for your Great tips. I have never gone beyond dating single moms, and some of them with good qualities from my church. I love peace & quiet and too chicken to deal with all the dramas. Now, I'm happily single ☺ and I love it!!👍
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I was with a single mom for 9 months and I was the first man she introduced her son to. She is from Peru so her upbringing is different than American women. One point her son tried to leave the table while we were eating and I told him he is not leaving until at least half of his plate is done. He actually listened and was excused. I even took both her and her son to the movies. Even though we broke up 3 years ago we still keep in contact and her son even contacts me to help with his homework.
Dont forget, her kid(s) is first, always first and that's totally fine. then comes her family, then her dog(s), then her social groups and therapy sessions, yoga, what-have-you, then her Ex-boyfriend or husband and the list goes all the way down until you're last place. imagine a DOG that has a higher position than you. Let that sink in for a bit and think about it. a dog... plus, from what i read about, Nice guys seem to be the target for single moms too compared to the "bad boys".. plus her Ex could slip in at any time and retake the throne as the legitimate father of the house hold. so where does that leave the newly step dad? out the damn door.
My next-door neighbor is a single mom, 57, with a son in college, divorced for over 8 years. We're both alone in our houses nearly all the time and she's only 3 months younger than me. In the past I've given her compliments both in person and via email (clothes, hair) but she's never responded to those. It's *so* difficult to initiate a relationship with her, she seems so content to live a singles life with no dating. At 6'1" and 190 lbs, I have confidence that she COULD find me attractive. I would like to ask her out, but it seems like a longshot. When I first met her, she was very quick to reveal to me she was divorced and I'll never forget how she smiled at me right then.
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@@YourWingmam Thanks so much for your reply. I'm checking those out along with more of your videos. I really want to commend you for the extra effort you go to.
I guarantee that woman is lonely and it is a just a show that she is content. STOP giving her compliments, never. It would be very awkward to start dating your neighbor because there is no space, and I speak from experience dating a woman in another apartment in a huge old house. I would absolutely never do that again. Really, don't compliment women, they don't really want to hear it, and this is known by her action of not responding to it. She is telling you she doesn't want to hear it.
I was in a 18 months relationship with a single mom and the only thing I want to share with you guys is this… **if you’re not a single dad, don’t do it** if you’re living with the complication that come with a child, at least make sure it’s yours One big thing to consider is how old she was when she got her baby, the younger the worst! About 80% of my female coworkers are mothers and all (literally all) of those who had their baby at a younger are absolutely not loyal to their significant other (I’m talking under 22)
Not all single mothers are to be avoided there are some single mothers you might want to consider dating and my video ONLY Consider Dating These Types of SINGLE MOMS! (She's a Good Single Mother to Date IF...) will give you the clarity you need check it out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
I totally get the point of the video and I even agree that is wrong to generalize about people but my advice from my relationship and by watching my coworkers would be “single mom is probably not the best option” and even some of my single mom friends think the same. When I say to them: imagine your 20 years old son comes to you and tells you about 3 women that he’s interested in and two of them had their first baby at age of 17 and the other one is single, no child and never been married… who you’d think is the best option? Assuming they all love him the same and threat him the same way. All of them say “the girl without children” and I agree with them
Been talking to a single mother for the first time lately. Starting to get feelings so I had to find a video lol, she seems to be a keeper according to your video
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
Number 4 and 5 hits home for me. Lil boy once told me "you're not my dad". I tell him "tell me something I don't know, kid". Now me and the woman was already broken up and on our way to divorce but I was still living there til my place was ready. She already turned the kid against me so I acted the way I did. That was my best way of saying "fu*k off, kid" without saying it. And she was also running around with baby daddy behind my back.
I appreciated the even handed attempt with this topic, but from my point of view ur were equalizing some of the concerns a man would have when dealing with a single mother. 90% of my concern would be if she is OVER the baby daddy, if there is STRONG boundaries duringthe coparenting process, it can serveas a reconnecting opportunityfor one or both of them. There's nothing else to consider if that's not settled if I want to have a serious relationship or marry her. I think both the man n the babymama can confuse needing to move with her needing help.
One benefit a single mom gives to dating is that (little) kids don't have the same filters and self awareness as adults. The child will attempt to lie in the same way she does. If she has a bad attitude around them they will have it around you. If she lacks discipline they will. If she shi* talks the father, or others, the kids will as well. The kids can be an easy way to learn about all the important things she will attempt to hide from you.
Am not dating or doing this, but, it is one of your best videos. We people should take responsibility for who we date. but not disregard somebody based off of horror stories alone.
Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. Dated one single Mom and will never do it again. She def. was not healed from her relationship with her child’s father, the kid was only two years old and she got cheated on by her child’s father. Situation drained me mentally and financially. Thankfully, it was only a couple of months and thankfully I didn’t develop a bond with the child, as that probably would suck losing both the girl and kid. I’m so sorry to the men that invested years and/or even gotten married…all for it to not work out. I will never date a single Mom ever again.
There's only one thing to know before dating a single mother; Don't do it. If you're a wise man, walk away. That's a huge red flag, and something to be avoided. Another red flag is if she had a bad relationship with her father, or no relationship with her father, walk away. If she grew up in a broken home, walk away. All men should hold these standards and many more.
Ha. The end of my marriage was so bad that I far from expected my loved one to be perfect. She isn't, but she is a lot closer to perfection than I initially expected. "Kids first" was an essential pro for me exactly because I was a single dad. She never tried to take up the mum role for my son like I never tried to be a dad for hers (with one exception - when he got engaged and he needed someone to plead for him; I still feel very flattered). So no, I never heard "you're not my daddy". And my son never said "you're not my mummy". Neither of us ever tried to be what we weren't. Spot on: until she retired she was a hard worker (after too) with a soft heart. For various reasons I always found it important that my loved ones had paid jobs themselves. She never had any problem finding a balance between her son, her job, me and a few things more. And she always has been supportive towards me to find that balance.
Anna is right on all this. The kids make it harder too. My situation the kids weren't the problem. Things started out great heard stories of the X . Years in I learned the truth. Dude wasn't the issue. She made the priority she gave the kids all her attention. She never realized what I gave up to be there. Before I knew it I was more like a servant she wouldn't even compromise on anything. I did everything I could to make everyone happy. Everyone but myself. We never discussed anything around the kids. Once she started taking little jabs at me infront of the kids knowing I wouldn't say anything I knew. Me staying would teach the kids treating people this way was okay I had to leave. I loved the kids enough that Once I'd finally had it and wanted to expose the truth of sugar coating and white lies I had to leave. It still hurts and I miss them as if they are my own kids. He'll I still love her but couldn't put the kids through a long hateful break up they suffered that once before. Choosing a single mom is a big choice and has to be a selfless one. Really take your time and watch for red flags. Listen to her talk about her ex and see if things line up how she tell it. You have to remember the kids have to be your priority too.
My heart breaks for you! That's something I didn't mention in the video, if you get attached to the kids and it doesn't work out, you really have no rights to them. It's also a reminder we teach people how to treat us and if you let things slide, it'll only get worse until it can't be changed. Once a woman reaches the point of contempt, there's little hope of turning that ship around. :(
I dated a single mom for 7 months. She was a successful business owner and pretty but was pressing me for commitment from the get to. Needy, massive anxiety issues (I can deal with your most anxiety), and extremely selfish. She had every ex bf and even short term bf meet her son. The kid was great but I could tell all the moving pieces confused the poor little kid. She was demanding and could not hold down friends and none of her exes were on even decent terms with her. Always struggled to make and keep friends of any gender as well. We had top tier chemistry though and I was coming out of a very long relationship so I got sucked in. To you reading this: please do not get involved in a serious relationship with a single mom.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏 However, not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
I dated a single Mom about ten years ago. She had three sons. She was very open, spiritual, honest, and vulnerable, but was definitely the boss. She interrupted a lot in conversation. I brought it up, and she did a little experiment, inserting deliberate, awkward pauses, granting me a turn to speak. In short, it seemed like she was looking for a eunuch/butler/ATM. Nope.
Sounds like you had a bad experience. That sucks! 😞 Big hug! I think you might benefit from my WakeUP2Luv program... curious: members.wingmam.com/get-women/
That happened to me with the worst mom I had been with: my own wife (gladly currently my ex). I enjoyed the same signals: 1. I was not her priority, even I was real husband and father. 2. She was a crappy mom, amazingly, at the same time of the previous. 3. She was an expensive package, credit cards just rang like church bells. 4. Even I was the real dad, she spolied the kid raising me her hand on anything I tried to make an opinion on. 5. Yes I was the father and the husband, yet she kept on bringing her "ex-boyfriends magnificence" to the conversation, obsesively. Guys..... this is not only about single moms. Could be for just "moms". Watch out in advance for dating signals.
I’ve recently fell for a hard working & very soft hearted single mom. She’s completely different than anyone I’ve ever met. Baby dad has been out of the picture for 7 years and he’s in another state. But I’m terrified because society says run, now I’m conflicted. I’ve been friends with her for two years. So she’s not a stranger. Hmmmm
I was reading another article that said "Dating a single mom with a kid is like playing somebody else save on a video game" I have to say that is very true
Thanks really and all the comments. I am in tears when reading the comments. I was terrified and at some points really scared thinking about how the thing will head to. Hope everything will go well and may all the timings are benefiting the relationship.
Every relationship I have had except when a teenager was a single mom. You are never the priority but daughters generally accept you easier than sons do. The daughters generally loved me who were not biologically mine. But you are not their father and cant discipline them. Kids and grandkids seem to love me but it has broken my heart that the grandaughter cries for me and wants me to be in her life and it is awkward when the mom doesn't want to see you after you break up. The daughters connect with me because I listen to them and try not to be judgmental and sometimes they will side with me more then the mother . They can see the flaws in their mom and call her out on things her boyfriend or husband can never do . If it were up to the children in many cases I would still be in most of the relationships with single mothers but the mother decided I was not what they really wanted. This doesn't generally happen as i hear the opposite from other people.
Dating one is like walking a mile into a minefield, day dreaming about fairys and unicorns. When you realize where you are, its too late and there's no escape. Luckily for me, before i wandered in, I tripped and scrapped myself which broke the daydreaming trance and realized HOLY JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH THATS A LIVE MINEFIELD. I didnt take a step in and turned the other way avoiding a horrible painful fate.
Just started dating a single mom couple months ago. Ex ain’t involved . I made it clear I ain’t looking to be a father to a child that ain’t mine, ESPECIALLY financially. We haven’t really gotten involved in each others personal lives yet either (meeting each others friends and family etc). I’m financially stable, she ain’t got a job either. I ain’t one to spoil someone that can’t afford to buy their own things. I’m not sure how this will play out but I may be ignoring too many red flags right now. On top of that, I don’t even want kids.
Get out while you can. You are just an ATM to her. If you marry her and later get divorced you will be paying her alimony, she will likely get the house and you have to pay child support for kids that are not even yours. I have seen cases where the mom successfully sued the ex-husband to pay for college too.
MR. FBD can you come out of your delusions? You are her ATM. Read you sentence and tell me if it makes any sense. No matter what you say, you will be held resposible for the kids, child care, alimony, etc. There is no way out.
You are going to ruin your life dude. She will be extremely loving in the beginning, and once she gets comfortable you'll understand why you shouldnt be with her
Having dated a couple single moms in my time, all with different situations of why they are single moms, that I will say it's exponentially better if the ex-husband/baby daddy has either re-married or is in a serious relationship with someone else cause if he's single then you're in for a tough ride. It's definitely not worth it if he's still "an option" like that. Save yourself the grief and time.
🙏 Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that. However, not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Here are the types of single moms you might want to consider dating 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
After I divorced, back in 1994-95 I thought a single mom would more likely be a more mature woman and someone to build a permanent relationship around. Wrong!!! There is a reason why a single mom is single. I tried with some single moms and failed - in retrospect that was for the best. Nowadays, I would avoid a single mom totally; no matter their age; no matter the age of the children. I do not envy any man who marries a single mom. Not worth the trouble; and life gives one enough trouble anyway. I will remain single rather than marry a single mom.
I was dating a single mom and she coulnt handle issues with her ex. All day they were arguing and her ex moved to abroad and she decided to visit him with her child ! And she wants me to understanding! And i decided to checked out of the relation. Thanks good we hadnt married
This was SO helpful! I took your advice and applied it to dating a single dad, and this clarified a lot for me. Keep doing what you’re doing! Thank you so much! Side note: any advice for dating a single parent with multiple baby mama’s/daddy’s? 😅 asking for a friend…
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll add it to my list of requested videos! In the meantime, you might like this video 👉 ruclips.net/video/KwLhkrms3ig/видео.html
Most all the women I associate with have adult children as I do. When my kids were younger, many women would reject me because my kids were top priority. Wound up being a pretty good dating filter...although I still made some bad choices for other reasons LOL
@@chrisnamaste3572 Depends on what you mean by "safe"! Should be about constantly improving your experiences based on your own resonance, mom or no mom. We attract what we are....as they say.
OMG! Where were you all my life! 😅 Seriously though! I'm a 45 year old content single man for several years now. I know some may say it's a complete beta move to raise another man's child however I took it as a complete alpha move as kids are innocent and I couldn't simply just turn my back on the kid especially because the mom was a train wreck. I had no idea what a narcissist really was and it's a rabbit hole I don't wish on my worst enemy. It's a years-long process to get over such an experience FYI. The breakup was most horrible because there was a child who in her heart saw me and still calls me Papa. She is 10yrs old now. I raised her from 13 months to 8yrs old I don't regret being the only one who ever bought the baby formula, diapers or extracurricular activities such as horse riding lessons, ballet, swimming and giving that child all the things I could as if she was my own. But the child is not your own! When the breakup occurs it's as close to experiencing the death of a child in it's own way and is really traumatic. Actually when you see that narcissistic abuse that I had suffered from being now projected on the child and you are completely powerless over doing anything good about it, it's humbling to say the least. Don't expect your friends to understand or anybody else for that matter. Just RUN! I don't recommend dating a single mother. You are playing around a nuclear meltdown! Especially a Eastern European narcissistic. Put your ego aside as it is not fixable and RUN! If you don't know what narcissism is I suggest you really educate yourself and learn how to identify them before you get humiliated and heartbroken and just overall broke. I had a soft spot for a single mothers because I was raised by one who was ethically and morally a good woman. Unfortunately the internet and the propaganda it dishes out to young women today has really gotten things twisted. Everything on this video is completely on point based on my personal experience. I wish I would have heard this as a young man in my twenties. Thank you so much for your care, concern, compassion and information in your videos. Thank you! You and your channel are truly amazing and a blessing!!!
It’s awesome hearing these reasons being confirmed by a woman. Another reason to consider is when a kid doesn’t like their mother’s new boyfriend, the kid will falsely accuse him of something horrible that he didn’t do, just to get rid of him. Even if the guy is innocent and clears his name, there could still be a stigma associated with it.
I've been in three relationships with single mum's in my life time ( slow learner I know ) and it has always , always ends badly , its hard these day , as we get older to find a woman that hasn't got kids , even if they are adults there will always be problems.
It's a massive societal mess. I like how one guy put it.... " dating a single parent usually fails miserably because you are a constant reminder that mom and dad are no longer together." amen.
I hate saying this, but it is real. Sometimes a Mom is single because she is not a nice person. People should always look for red flags and take their time to know someone before they live with them and commit further. So take the reality, if she is a solo mum she not only comes with baggage, but she may be the reason the father left in the first place and your just next in line. I dated one solo mum in my life and she was awesome, so I am just saying this out of intellectual awareness.
You are absolutely right not all single mothers are to be avoided there are some single mothers you might want to consider dating and my video ONLY Consider Dating These Types of SINGLE MOMS! (She's a Good Single Mother to Date IF...) will give you the clarity you need check it out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
Thank you very much. Indeed, the person I dated only has one and a half of the keypoints you mentioned. Hard worker and heart softened, which I really apreaciated and made me feel deeper for this person, and maybe once in a while backup me while adjusting her kid because of miss-behaviour. For me, No priority , very low intimacy, crappy ex, jealous kids , jealous ex, even discussions by phone with the ex because of random things and unexpected call/questions and pick up / bring kids home, which means no boundaries established and she didn’t stayed very long out of the market after she got divorce, until I arrived one year after her divorce. The global balance is that my feelings are getting hurt every time cause I’m a very sensitive person, and my needs aren’t being satisfied. If you are not only lacking benefits but being emotionally damaged while putting tremendous efforts let me tell you, there is a survival personality characteristic which is selfishness that can save your life in more than one occasion. This is no good bussiness and they say: I’m not for anyone, yes true, a single mum is not for anyone but; but ALSO he cannot pretend to be like any other single woman if she is not VERY WELL HEALED AND PREPARES TO KEEP A MAN. Thanks , kind regards
Dating a single mom can never work unless you're a single parent yourself. A man should not ask the mom to put him first event hough in relationships, that's ideal but it is not logical with a single mom. Also, single mom's always speak ill of their ex but the fact is, they're the ones who made the bad judgement call in being with them so long and having kids with that guy. Single mom's always want the guy to make the sacrifice but us guys should focus on a single woman who has no children so we can be each other's priority from the beginning. I was in an online relationship with a single mom and I had enough, her ex kept showing up at her workplace and destroyed a journal that she kept specifically for me. She started to say that her ex stopped with alimony towards her youngest one and she had a lot of pressure. She lived with her family and still no one was really into helping her. She even had to give money to her parents rather than them helping with the kids.
I've been there, done that. Never again. One, you have to deal with the baby's daddy. And two, no matter what you do for the children, they will never be your children. To each is own, don't get me wrong, if someone is willing to make it work then power to them. But I know as for me, I don't want a ready-made family.
Great point that reminds me of something else... One thing I haven't mentioned in my single mom videos is also that if you and the kid do get along, if you eventually break up you have no rights with that kid. Thank you for sharing your experience!
@@YourWingmam that is why I made a promise to myself never to go back down that road again. For what it's worth, I'd prefer to start with a clean slate if you know what I mean.
I've also, been there, done that. Like you, never again. I'm always skeptical when a man says how his step kids love him just like he was their real father. Of course it could happen that way, but it certainly didn't for me, and apparently not for you. My honest guess / genuine evaluation is it is almost always a superficial relationship. Except in extreme cases, the bio father will always trump the step dad.
I have never heard the term “Baby daddy”. I thought that meant the child. I have a mate who refers to her daughters as M1, M2, M3 as in monsters. They aren’t. They are the most delightful young women I have ever met. They reflect their mother. The thing is M4 is her husband. He is a good bloke; husband and provider. He has some mental health issues and hadn’t step up to some parenting duties. Hard when both parents are professionals. Anyway, I suggest you refer the childrens father as “the childrens father”. This will help change your attitude to the family situation. You will feel happier.
I dated a mum who was the main care giver to a 12 year old boy. The father was in the boy's life. I was last of concern even behind her dog. On top of that she had been abused by her step father when she was a teenager herself. Foolishly, I thought I could make it work. Ultimately, because her kids (teenage son and two adult daughters) felt confused about me , I was friend zoned and left. Never again.
Unfortunately, marriage tends to be a "till death" thing in my community. Only known one single mom my entire life. And she was westernized like me. Which is why people should understand why we take dating so seriously. And yes, it's also because we are shy and perhaps the world's worst pickup artists. So many western women take insult when we don't jump on dating opportunities. Sometimes even verbal insults. A young girl even said "Are you a man?!?!" And unfortunately single moms have almost zero chance getting remarried. She really would have to date waaaay beneath her or put herself on western dating sites.
I was getting friendly with a single mum who lived just a few doors away, but then one day I overheard her 9 year old daughter telling lies about me to other kids from the area. The previous day, as I came out of my house she had thrown herself face down on the lawn pretending to be dead. At the time I found it hilarious, told the girl too slow I spotted you, got in my car and drove away. So the following day I overheard her saying how she was badly hurt, needed help and that I just didn't care. Not a terrible lie in itself but I could imagine bigger and better ones and how it would all sound being retold by the other children. It made me realise that my freedom and liberty could so easily be removed by the stories of a little girl (who has to be believed). Much to the girls horror I immediately knocked on her mum's door and explained what was happening, mum was great about it but of course I had already lost interest. Conclusion, do not get involved with another man's children it could literally cost you everything. If you are male, single and childless you have high value so just look for someone else.
Never, and I mean never, get friendly with a single mom you see every day. 3 doors down or at the workplace. She will haunt you literally and in your thoughts.
I don't know if RUclips will show you my comment so long after the video uploaded... but thank you, again, for the encouragement! I am a single mom after escaping domestic abuse. I do have sole custody, and my ex husband hasn't even contacted me in almost a year, about our 2 boys or otherwise. I have taken the 4yrs since escape to heal.... a journey which I'm not sure will be completely finished till I die. But it is what it is. Anyway, there are countless videos about all the bad single moms, and it often feels discouraging.... thank you for realizing we don't all fit that mold & some of us may make someone's life happy again.... even if "romantic gestures" need to remain G-rated till behind closed doors. 💜
Funny, I randomly answer comments as I have extra time and here you are. I’m so glad you appreciated this video (I have a couple others on the topic interested.) The reason there are so many videos on bad single moms is because the men who’ve been hurt or used by them are the ones who watch them. Men who’ve had good experiences don’t tend to look for advice or validation of what happened. Understandable. I know several men who have been with good single moms for a long time (some til death they did part 😢) and are truly happy. The key is respect (of self and of other-team MATES) and open communication. *Choose well* and treat him like a king …and he’ll treat you like a queen. Big hug, keep moving forward, give yourself grace, you got this! 🙏
@Your Wingmam Thank you! I often look for hope & rarely find it online (understandably so)... I haven't been on 1 date yet, since escape. All the guys who have expressed romantic interest (so far) have begun to wave red flags pretty quickly.... and since I know predators like the vulnerable, they probably think I am. Anyway, it's nice to hear that I'm not "only damaged goods." I look forward to treating a worthy man like a king! 💜
5:42 Tip number five is the reason why I would never date a single mom. The only exception, is if he died and was an honorable man. The biological father will always be in that family, even if he is not living in the house.
Im the childrens father, or BD if thats the route you want to go. I was with my kids mom for 16 years. We had our ups and downs, we were both flawed, we both made mistakes in the relationship but we always made it work, we always came back to each other. I was always the one trying to keep us close and make our relationship work for the kids. We were still sleeping with each other. 3 months go by and she starts seeing a kid at her work who is almost 10 years younger than her. But she completely kept the whole thing from me and never said anything to me as i still tried to make things work. Then it all comes to light one weekend we were at the beach together with our kids. I was completely devastated, hurt beyond belief. This was my family, this is the woman i truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I went to the kid one day after he got off of work and with no anger i was polite when talking to him. I told him my views I told that this was my family and that if there was any chance of us getting back together and us having our family back that thats what I wanted and that I would never give up on that. I asked that he not step on another mans shoes when it comes to getting in-between another mans family. Wanted to shake my hand after the conversation, and i told him that i would shake his hand if that respect was earned. Of course the moment she found out that i talked to him she flipped on me and did a whole 360. He basically told her that he wasnt going to stop and that he wasnt afraid of me. So if its an enemy that you want to make out of me when it comes to me and my family then I will be the worst enemy this kid has ever seen. The point of my story is if you are talking to a single mom and the father of the children comes to you and talks to you about standing his ground, You should respect another mans wishes for his family to be together. Aint no amount of punan is worth the trouble you are going to go through trying to fight over another mans family. Men have gone to war since the beginning of time over less. I will literally fight to the death over my family. I hope he is prepared for that kind of battle.
I'm a single dad and I definitely dont want to be someones top priority so im ok with #1 and the rest lol. I'm going on a date with a single mom next week and she's super rad. but i have to be mindful with a lot of things and take it sloooow. this was helpful
I married a single mom who was good at putting "US" as the team. It wasn't enough. A horrible ex-husband was too much. Unfortunately, she had a very, very, crappy ex. He actively taught his children to hate me. His lessons stuck with the boy, the girl went her own way. Her ex died a few years ago. It didn't change anything. The boy, now a man in his early 40s still hates me. The girl, a woman now in her late 40s is fine. Was it worth it? Absolutely not.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️ and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 I think you might benefit from my WakeUP2Luv program... curious: members.wingmam.com/get-women/
@@YourWingmam Thanks for your desire that I heal. I'm glad to say, after a few short years I am in great mental, emotional, spiritual shape. I did that with purposeful directed desire and action. Not always an easy path. I haven't yet taken your course only because I'm not yet ready to start the search for a long term relationship. However, that time is rapidly approaching.
Damn,I’d like to hear that story bro,it’s amazing some of the things people expierience and what they do with the wisdom from them expieriences
Hi Jason, you obviously went all the way.. I am sure you had a great hear of love towards your wife. Could you share the actual experiences that you had, i.e. did it all start with your wife wanting you to be the new father, and all positivity, and then how did it end up in him hating you? Does this mean that step sons will hate step fathers. I know many people who had step fathers, some of my close friends. room mates, and it wasnt all that good as it sounded initially, and many of these step fathers ended up divorcing, with all blame on the man. What's going on.. tell us.
The single moms kids all want me as their dad but mostly get along better with kids then mother. It happens alot to me but my cousins tell me the opposite story
Almost every single mom profile on dating apps reads, "My kids come first!!!", or "My kids are my world!!". No bigger red flag than that.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Yeah, I've noticed that single moms love to use their children to virtue signal on dating apps and social media. Excessive virtue signaling is a major red flag to me because people usually try to use it as a substitute for personal growth. It should go without saying that your kids come first, so if you're saying it, I'm automatically skeptical. Your actions should speak for themselves. I will put your kids first wether you do or not. If that means dumping your ass, so be it.
Not really the case that all single mothers put their kids first . Some do and others dont . And some of them who really like me show me that most of time is for their kids and not you . It may be virtuous thing but I wont be in third place for anyone again. I dated too many and i tell them in a nice way that if you cant make me number one priority then I cant make this relationship a number one priority either as i am sick of coming in 5th place in any relationship.
When you're married, the spouse goes first but if she's just dating you then she shouldn't automatically put you first. She's just starting to know you.
@@YourWingmam IT IS MORE THAN FEEDBACK IS THE TRUTH
Just ended a relationship like this today. The red flags are flying high and i got out of it cause it's just NOT WORTH IT. Watching this just solidified my choice as being the right one
Good for you! 🙌
Why did you date a single mom in the first place?
Great video, Anna. Unfortunately, I dated two single moms. Both relationships were a total train wreck! I ended up in counseling after the second one. The counselor basically told me that I was a "rescuer" and that I shouldn't waste my time (and money) on this type of woman. Fortunately, I'm cured of that disease now. Keep up the great work.
I suspect I have this trait too! Cap'n Save-A-Wo(man).
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️ I think you might benefit from my WakeUP2Luv program... curious: members.wingmam.com/get-women/
Stephen that may say something about whom you date and nothing about parenting status predicting their behaviour
glad u moved on brother.
Don't go broke on a child that ain't yours ‼️, u not a real man‼️‼️ your a fool if you do ‼️‼️‼️😂😂😂
I'm dating a single mom with 2 teenage kids. I have firmly set my boundaries and I am not willing to budge. I'm not captain save-a-hoe nor am I insta-dad. If that ends up being unacceptable, so be it. I'd rather be alone than deal with the drama.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@YourWingmam What is your view on that? Dating a single mom of teenagers...
You do realize that in some states if you do move in together or get married you are exposing yourself to child support payments for those kids if you guys get divorced or end up breaking even if those kids are not yours! Do you realize that?
You will have all the responsibility and none of the authority.
The kids dad have unprinted their mark on her. In a sense they will always have access to her if they really want to.
Only a man who doesn't know his own value would date a single mom. There are many single women out there without kids. Why the hell would you do that to yourself?
Know your own value, man. Why do you want to pay for her mistakes?
Why are you drinking another man's left over beer and feeling his spit. Cause that is what dating a single mom is like.
Can't you get your own beer, man.
Common, man!!!
Wake up.
You deserve better.
@Gabo H She has checks off many of the green flags and none of the red flags. I consider her a "high value" woman. But I'm definitely not interested in stepping into the dad role with no authority. Plus, I have my own kids and I don't want to involve them in any unnecessary drama. Believe me, a younger woman without kids would be plenty of drama.
bro, 2 teenager????, I give u credit for trying, but at lease you keep ur eyes wide open.
Single moms are not looking for love, they’re looking for help, and honestly guys, think of it like picking up someone else’s saved the game file, Don’t do it guys stay away from them, you’ll be happier
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I agree actually my boss that I work with is female and she has a kid and she's single the kid is 8 years old I'm sort of attracted to her but I said to myself it'd be a big mistake. I have a really good life peaceful no kids and I'm single I can do whatever I want. But just listening to her her life is very complex and it seems she would be very difficult for anyone to get along with her it's amazes me how these women have kids without getting married first
Not true, unfortunately there are women like that. But some of us have careers, own our home, and support our child all on our own. We have savings accounts and live a good life and simply want company and to share life with someone.
Preach brother. If you are childless, do not date single parents.
@@aideenreyes6818 I’m glad you spoke up on that. I’m in a situation with a lovely lady that has a career and her own home and she’s doing great. It just confuses me how all of the singles moms are trashed in one category. I have older sisters that had kids, one is married but my other one isn’t. But they’re lovely ladies and have pure intentions. It’s just crazy to me. All of it.
One of the hardest parts is when we really like the kid(s) and form a strong bond...and then the relationship flames out. Sometimes losing that is much harder than losing her.
It isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Ending the relationship with her kids was definitely harder than ending the relationship with her because the kids were awesome and they didn't do anything wrong
Been there.....done that!
Dating single mom is a test for a men, to appreciate his life being alone.
It comes with a lot of responsibilities as well as countless heartbreaks. At 26 I got into it, came out at 30 with bunch of white hair in m beard.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
No its not losers get real being in the forest for a week alone is a test for real men ur a simp thinking he was pimping until she did u in like she did her BD and know ur playing the victim role simp u will not get sympathy for being a simp.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I want out bro,help!Two years already....
@@dutchceezweh8069 do you want help?
I wish you had this video out in 2014. I was tryin' like the dickens to have a relationship with a single mom that I met in a church singles group. Her son and I got along great, and we shared similar interests. However, she had a ton of issues that I just didn't deal with too well. She had daddy issues, mommy issues, money issues, and good grief the list kept growing. She liked having me around, yet she kept me at arm's length (i.e., friend zone). However, one day, she was just rude enough toward me (the last straw), I just immediately got in my truck and drove off into the sunset. I ain't looked back since then. I'm good.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
What were you thinking?
@@esau93631 He's probably a good guy and is helpful to the single mother. I've known several, but their standards have only gone up since having their kids. They used to want someone rich. Now they want someone rich, retired who will put up with her, her kid, her ex, provide a new house and travel the world.
@@martysk8r I bet 99% of these guys are good guys. I bet 100% of them have no clue what they are getting into
Where did all the good guys go…
They are chilling in their trucks riding off into the sunset.
I had a on/off 7 year relationship with a Single Mother. Over time the pre teen Son came to live with Us. He walked in saying U are NOT my Father...it when down hill fast. I eventually walked away
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
That is one thing about it it’s because they always go back to their baby daddies
Geeeeeeezzz lol. Y'all gotta get a life. This woman in the vid sounds kinda covert narcissist, crazy asf. I'm outta here
@@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 who goes back to the baby daddy the son our the mother plzz respond
@@amnvendetta5289 if you date a single mom they go back to their baby daddy !!! Stay away from them please do
I WILL NEVER DATE A SINGLE MOM EVER AGAIN. Everything you say is true. I remember a weekend was canceled because her son wouldn’t go to his dad’s even though that was the court settlement. So whenever he didn’t want to see his dad that trumped any and all plans we ever made.
I can’t say she was a bad mom exactly but she wasn’t a nurturing mother. Nothing in her playbook was about positive reinforcement or emotional support or validating their feelings. It was really hard to watch at times. At dinner her oldest son would come downstairs to get his plate then go back up to his room, close the door and play Xbox the rest of the night. She was Catholic but didn’t go to mass because her kids wouldn’t go. And on and on this went. She did go to soccer and basketball with her kids. So all their material, social and physical needs were met. But we could never be affectionate around her kids because THEY DIDN’T LIKE IT. They were not only her priority, I’m not sure I ever really existed. 🤷♂️
A painful experience with a lot of lessons for sure! I have to say, it sounds like you'd make a great dad based on your comment. Positive reinforcement, emotional support and validating kids feelings is how you create a well adjusted emotionally healthy person. The world needs more parents like that! :)
@Anthony Manzio Reality is often depressing. They need to grow up and come to terms with that. They can't live in la la land their entire life. Reality will bust in like the Kool aid man eventually and pull them out of the clouds.
@Anthony Manzio I said nothing of the sort. They just need to come to terms with reality. And the whole companionship argument is an emotional appeal which is a logical fallacy. With how modern vvomen are today, I'd much rather be alone than to lose my sanity and peaceful life to a nagging harpy with literal miles of diq ran through her.
You were there because you were a pay packet.
@@YourWingmam But those don't meet the mans needs.....
I was a single dad, raising my teenage daughter with sole custody. Phew!
Personally I knew when I had a relationship with single moms that I wouldn't be the number one, of course I would expect the mom to have her children to be top priority.
My last x-wife was a less than a good mom. Her teenager daughter got into her mom's face and very disrespectful, I called her out on her behavior, of course "you're not my dad!" My retort was, "yeah I know! But you will not show such disrespect to my wife!".
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
@@YourWingmam thank you!♡
I have to add, the x-wife top priority was drinking and drugging. I made it out to live another day!
I got lucky! I was dating a single mom way back in the late '80s she was 19 I was 25 she had a one year old girl the baby daddy never really spent time with his daughter and Angie who I was dating never push me away because of her daughter she always included me and her daughter as one! So years later her daughter was also my daughter! They never said I was a stepdad neither did my in-laws consider me a stepdad they consider me the dad! Now I've been married to the same woman for 27 years now my daughter is 35 and has her own family and I have grandkids! And me and my wife had own daughter together so I have two daughters! My youngest is 25 now! So it's possible to find a decent single mom! Oh I hate to toot my own horn I am a decent dude!
It’s better to wait until all the kids are out of the house just be aware of it
Not all single mothers are to be avoided there are some single mothers you might want to consider dating and my video ONLY Consider Dating These Types of SINGLE MOMS! (She's a Good Single Mother to Date IF...) will give you the clarity you need check it out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
@@YourWingmam XD
Lol that’s not
Lucky 😂
I am a single father and have been sole supporter while her mom had to take time to sort out mental health problems (she is doing well and doing a lot of effort to catch up with our daughter so that's all good). During that time I dated single women, a great single mom, a terrible single mom older women and one youngster half my age. Every point here is valid for single dads as much as for single mothers. In my experience and opinion: experience told me the best options are very young women because they are the least impact on the family unit. I have essays to write on this topic. Seeing as I am becoming interested in long-term relationships, the best is to wait and be left alone far as dating goes until my daughter has her own space. Single parent plus child is a family unit, family unit needs stability. It is a big change when my daughter has a boyfriend even. Respect the family unit.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom! #respectthefamilyunit
@@YourWingmam evenin ma’am. Where can I message you at? Email or IG? Got a checklist for a female I’d like to to take a look at.
Being a single dad is different. Most men did not make decision to leave their child's mother. Most men have been left by a woman who was on her "journey" of happiness. Or what they think is the better deal. Single dads are far less dangerous as a single mother thanks to the modern "family law" here in the west. Men do a better job separating their responsibilities of raising their children and caring for a spouse. Men have an easier time accepting the fact that some women may not want to date them because they have children. Women on the other hand seem to get pissed when you tell them no for the same reason.
I'm curious to know more because I am also a single dad I have been single for two years I have also been celibate for that time
recently I meet this young single mom we only talk in person when I go to eat with my son at her workplace so I have been really thinking about asking her for her number and go out on a date with her but honestly I don't know if I should
so I like to know your thoughts
@@mowtivatedmechanic1172 lol like a used car dealer giving out a price estimation
I ran into a single mom I already knew at a bar. She ended up taking me home. I found out there was no babysitter. The kids were up late because they had not had dinner. Mom was more interested in sending them to bed so she could do the same with me. I was both embarrassed and pissed to be that excuse. I helped the kids make their dinner (mac and cheese with hotdogs - quick). By this point, mom had passed out. I ended up taking her to the ER. I can remember what I helped the kids make for dinner. I can't remember if I left mom in the ER, or brought her home and and then left. Making dinner with her kids was the high point of the evening and I had no expectations after that.
Wow. At least you had a conscience. A few people would have ignored it and just got their rocks off. You are a great guy dude.
Wow, you're a good man, for sure! And she was not a good mom. No matter what happened to her to make her that way, it's sad for those kids. :(
Imagine what a "wonderful" partner she would have made for you.
great way of tackling it ... but did she saw any value in it?
Wow, I had a similar experience dating a single mom. She would tell her kids that she would be there for them at a specific time and place, and then blow them off at the last minute to spend time with me. I told her that's not ok with me, but she gave me the excuse that her kids are used to it, and she became sneaky about it so I would only find out after the fact. Her kids and I got along great at first, but they quickly grew to resent me for this and it ultimately undermined the relationship. I feel so bad for her kids and I pray for them.
Anna, dated a few single moms. All the red flags you discussed I experienced. Another very informative video that I hope helps those in one of these complicated relationships.
Thank you for validating my points and it will help someone! :)
To all men,never ever ignore red flags,save yourself some time and most of all money.
Awesome video. Definitely been here with a couple single moms. Out of all the points, the relationship with the ex is pivotal. That will define how the child/children behave, and how much interference there is, and possibly undermine your relationship.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
I'm currently dating a single mom. Her ex isn't in the picture and she makes just enough to afford herself, her mom and her child. The kid and I have met and he's showed me nothing but respect and admiration. His mom was in a bad place when we first dated and she was triggered by a lot of things because of the stuff she went through. She's also held herself accountable for the previous relationships failing and she grew to learn to be what a woman is expected to be in a relationship. I almost ended things at one point but something told me to stay and see where this goes. Now we're 9 months away from celebrating our 3 year anniversary and the people in my family love her. She's healed now and doing her best to be everything I need
Key statement: "She's also held herself accountable for the previous relationships failing and she grew to learn to be what a woman is expected to be in a relationship." Happy for you!
Check her phone I’m sure she’s entertaining. Another guy behind your back. Single moms are always looking for better option
@@arka4132 brother I'm not naive. She holds herself accountable which is rare especially in women
I dated a single mother of 3 and 8 years older than me for two years. I knew what I was getting myself into but I learned so much from her and everything felt perfect. It was greatest feeling meeting her kids and her mother. Because of my career and future goals, we had no choice to end the relationship. We love each other very much but shes worried will I be able to provide enough. I miss her very much
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Thanks!
My pleasure ❤️
There's one more situation that I can think of that is the new boyfriend eventually becomes the babysitter while mom says that she needs to go out and do things, only to find out she's seeing another guy.
True! Do not become the babysitter!
You never should become a babysitter nope
Been a stepdad and biological dad too. You hit it on the spot. Thank you Anna.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
This is my struggle, we both have children so it's a tough call.
I once dated a single mom who left her kid in Brazil with the grandma and traveled the world, landing in the states. When we met her kid was 19 and had tons of resentment towards her about it. She wanted me to deal with the kid's issues. Bad moms are a no-go.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Her priorities were to travel the world, not take care of her child. This is common.
@@martysk8r most of them travel but don’t take care of there of their children
It’s because she not actively in involved in her child life not stable enough to stay strong
@@jasontaylor1866 hi how are you
Unfortunately, society provides so many justifications for the deleterious decisions in the world of women that emotional "healing" is regularly stunted.
The fear of rock-bottom is (more often than not) necessary for a dramatic change to occur.
In other words, a "healed" single modern mom is a unicorn.
Great video as always though, hun!
❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
Currently been seeing a single mom, and we're in the works of setting up that relationship and building trust. She's super loving towards her son who's only almost 2, and the dad isn't in the picture. I already knew a lot of these points as they were advice given by others, but this still really helped solidify that I feel she's a keeper and things may go well between us, as she and her son have both opened up a lot to me. Thanks for all this!
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
It sounds like for one thing you got lucky with the timing. With the kid being almost 2, she probably feels like she could actually use some help raising him. She's probably not set in her ways as a parent, since she's relatively new at it and still developing her parenting style. The kid is still young and impressionable enough that the two of you could form a strong bond and become very close. You are blessed that the father isn't in the picture because that really simplifies things for you, and it's not up to you wether he's in the picture or not
Some day that kid will find out your not his or her dad and drop the bomb on you , don't do it bro , runnnnnnnnn !!.... Come back to this comment in the future and let me know , prove me wrong ... Best of luck 🤞
Just wait man soon as the kid gets into his/her so called “fun” stage where the kid starts talking and is out of diapers and less of a responsibility. That’s when he will show back up and play super dad/Disney dad
@@StomerMadGermzOfficial I totally agree with you bro, I been there with the Sameage as little as months old. My man is happy thinnking that he’s gonna rose the child and have life with her ever after. I wish that was the case. Woman like tbat didn’t make it work with her actual baby father he thinks she would care if things workout with him or not. She’s just using him for the sake of doing this. Wait until the little one grow up and he’s no longer needed or maybe even a year from now. Also there is so much possiblity that she can go back to her ex what is he gonna do or say. He has no say and will never be the man in the house. I wish he opens he’s eyes and ruuuuuuuuuun women like that need “superhero”type of guy to suck their life/blood/money/youth and then in the end leave him and blame it all on him. He would end up a woman hater. Single mum are well known to be law hanging fruits any man can get her. She doesn’t pick and choose. By years ahead of you (in dating and actual been with single mothers) run for it it’s not worth it and it won’t work. She will never ever respect you as real man. And she knows that you not the real dad. At first they all very submissive as soon as she knows she control you (that comes slowly) she will start talking to you like shit) ain’t no way you gonna be ever happy with her (that’s very very very few that actually made it work) and I hope you can too. I’m not hating on you bro.
1st thing you need to know about dating a single mom: "Don't ever do it."
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
@@YourWingmam I might consider a widow.
That was some very good advice. I get along quite well with a few single moms I know, and some who I use to interact with, but never dated one and don't intend to because of the possible disrespect of the child, and having to pay for most of the child's needs plus my own. Another way single moms can finally date again, or even get married is if their kids are grown and out of the house they grew up in. One of my uncles married a single mom in 2018 whose son is grown now, and so far his relationship with her is going very well. They're both in their 50's but they're happy together, and the son isn't causing them any major problems when all 3 of them interact with each other.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I fully agree. I believe that it is almost impossible to find a suitable single mom as long as they are still busy raising the child, dealing with the ex, etc. Once this is fixed, there might be a chance....
A work friend had this expression "She's a 'leverite'". The first time I heard this I said "Huh?". He said "Leverite - Leave 'er right where you found her." LOL
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
I consider my experience with a single mom a test from God. This situation included a crappy baby daddy that made the big mistake of showing up to a nightclub where I worked as a bouncer. Needless to say that part of the situation was resolved. I kept close contact with my daughter and even received admiration from her moms other kids, it matured me in ways that only God could have planned.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Sounds like you've handled these situations well and glad you're close with your daughter. Fathers are so important!! God bless!
@@YourWingmam It is an EXCEPTIONAL CASE. Normaly, any deel with single moms always ends badly. BEWARE! DONT TOUCH!!!
Anna, it goes both ways, I'm single dad, but daughter is a judger of women, which I have never invited her to meet because I have not met the one. Very protective.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏 you will find this advice for a single dad who wants to date again to be helpful 👉 ruclips.net/video/KwLhkrms3ig/видео.html 👈
@@YourWingmam Thank you again Anna.
Anyone who gets involved with a single mother deserves what they get. Guys, don't be stupid, NO piece pf ass is worth that much trouble.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I now realise this , but as you get older tho. Almost all women will have kids tho
Agreed. Bad, bad idea
I'm watching this as a single mom. Honestly gave me hope since I know I'm a high value woman, a good mother, I am healed from the past but still working on me... and I agree with everything discussed here. Men need to be aware of these things. Healing is the most important thing you do for your kids and for any future relationship.
Healing is definitely key, thank you for sharing ❤
@NunyaDambizness you sound ignorant
I'm probly a way better woman than any single woman out there. Every situation is different. And unless you knew a person don't make comments on who YOU think they are.
If you are a single mother you are not high value... sorry but its the truth.
@NunyaDambizness exactly 💯
@@GreatBirdOfHope you get to define high value woman how ever YOU wish.
The one time I'd consider dating a single mother is if I was considerably older than I am now (I'm 38) and I met a woman whose kids were "off to college" age. They're not kids anymore, and if you're meeting someone in the second half of life of course it's unreasonable not to have expected them to have lived a life before meeting you. But until then single mothers go in the same category as hairdressers, horse girls, girls with a hyphenated first name etc; avoid at all costs.
lol whats wrong with hair dressers?
Not all single mothers are to be avoided there are some single mothers you might want to consider dating and my video ONLY Consider Dating These Types of SINGLE MOMS! (She's a Good Single Mother to Date IF...) will give you the clarity you need check it out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
I think he means bartenders lmao
Hair dressers spend to much time looking into the mirror they become vain and to self conscious.
@@rickmorgan1441 they are annoying delusional
I’ve had a couple of relationships with single moms, and one marriage that failed with a single mom. There was always a sense of jealousy between the mom towards the daughter. Example: took my ex-wife’s daughter to help me pick out a dress for her mom for Mother’s Day, and I immediately got the 3rd degree. My ex asked “why didn’t you take my son, why just her”? Then she asked her daughter “why didn’t she tell her that she was going with me, why’s she being sneaky”? So after I had to explain why would I take an 8yr old boy to pick out a dress when you and your daughter literally share clothes? That feeling stayed in the air in our marriage until the end even though her daughter wanted me to adopt her and I went in student loan debt for her (which her mom pushed her out as soon as she turned 18 when we both knew she wasn’t ready and didn’t have enough guidance). As soon as I got hurt at work and fell disabled is when my wife quickly and heartlessly became my ex.
Guys, if she is a single mom. Just refuse politely, there are a lot of girls out there with no kids/bagadge, she already has a husband and a father of her daughter she just decided to leave him, it's not your pieces to pick up
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Gentlemen who've been there done that... share your thoughts on things you must know before dating a single mom! Help each other avoid heartache by sharing your experience and wisdom!! And if you've had a good experience, add your story of what to look for!!
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Hey, that is rude. Not all single moms are like that. How dare you compare us like that. I am not a selfish person, I put everyone first. Mainly my children. Us single parents--we are mom and dad combined. Where do you get off saying this?? Are you a mom? You don't know what or how everyone of us single parents are like. This is narrow minded of you--you think in the me box. Your just like all the Karen's and you judge single parents. Someday, it could happen to you. Don't pass judgment, on us single parents. We work hard, raise our babies, we work real jobs. You pawn money off of people on RUclips and think your an expert. What goes around comes around to people who judge. Not all single parents, are rude or selfish
Single moms make the BEST buddies to single dads. My advice: look at single parents as an opportunity to safely grow your social network as to include more women (or men) you can relax with and relate to, real friends. I do regret the times this boundary was not set in my mind, a break-up is an awful thing, a friendship is priceless 👌
@@casandra4042 Oh dear... I feel tons of space was made for exceptions, and I feel that as a single father I found her raising many valid points that I would enjoy for my prospective partners to keep in mind. I don't know why you feel personally attacked and had to respond by being abusive, but even if you were just single and not a mom I would say no to a date if you asked me out. Simply by virtue of this response. Have a great day 🙃
@@casandra4042 I'm dating a single mom who hit all the green flags.. she's a great woman, mother and partner.. try watching the video again, this time without a huge chip on your shoulder
@@casandra4042 Got triggered eh? I think you are missing the sum total of Anna's and men's GENERAL view of single Mom's. There are obvious and undeniable elevated risks for men entering a relationship with a single mom. Perhaps try viewing what Anna has said from the perspective of a single man who's seeking a mate. That is what Anna is doing.
You may be the exception to the generalities but THEY ARE VALID. Maybe it's YOU thinking in the "me" box. Don't be so defensive, you really missed the essence of the message and felt attacked, you were not. How dare her/us? Oh we do dare, yes indeed, for obvious reasons.
Hello Anna !💐This reminds me of a time I ended up being the babysitter and ended up loving children much more than her sleazy behind Like a curse and a blessing all at once and she wasn’t the blessing
I wish your videos were a bit longer after being anxious for a whole week but it’s always worth even a glimpse and a good heartfelt message🕊 God bless you out there Anna 🙏
That's another thing I didn't mention... you could get attached to the kids and when it doesn't work out, you lose them, too! :((
I started a Wingmam Clips channel if you want to see a few short clips between Tuesdays: ruclips.net/channel/UC0roXBZyNc9cd0e2CLUUZdA
God bless! :)
@@YourWingmam Thank you so much Anna ❤️
A " rude awakening..." GUT" check for either men or women...Since love is blind, you've done a great job Anna on taking off the blindfold! Things to remember & consider...seriously! A package deal for sure! Best to avoid🚫 the baby mama drama/ daddy drama land mine!🔥...💣....💥
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
🤣🤣🤣👍 Glad she got you thinking 👍
More like the guy chose to be blind...
When my relationship broke down, I started seeing someone with 3 kids of his own after a while and we all got along great but in hindsight, I wish I'd been given the green light by society (and relatives) to just enjoy raising my child without feeling like a failure. My own father seemed to think little of single mothers despite going to work away for 5 years when we were little! We saw him for 2weeks every six months. In my own case, turns out the man I was seeing for years only wanted help with his own kids.
You needed permission from society? That's laughable. But welcome to the crap men have been putting up with for years.
I’m 21, currently dating a single mom that’s about 10 years older than me. 4 days in and this is already one hell of a challenge. Already met her kid I think a little too soon but he loves me already but I don’t think she was ready for all that yet and now thinks of me as just a friend
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I am 30 and I wont date a unmarried woman of 30. Wake up, my kid
Bro get out and run for your life and whatever u do , do NOT get her pregnant. You have too much life to live !!
This will be one of those rare times in my life that I didn’t make a horrendous mistake. Reading all the comments here confirms it. Great video, love ya like a sister, but I’ll absolutely will not date a SM. Best of luck to them all.
There are good ones, but even if you're ok with kids you still have to filter filter filter. Watch for the flags!
Thank you for this video, it has help me a lot.
Definitely it is important to date a woman who has gone to therapy to get over her emotional baggage from the previous relationship if it ended badly. My ex-wife felt that everyone, including her own son needed therapy; except for her. If they constantly speak badly about their ex, they will take it out on their children and you will pay for the sins of their ex.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Your advice and views are spot on for men in their 20s and 30s. I'm 50 and my options for dating have become limited. I'm at a point where the dating pool is almost 90% single moms. Their kids are almost fully grown and many of the moms are now grandparents. Any advice for us 50 year olds?
Sure, I have some, you'll find these dating advice for men in their 50's and 60's interesting and informative 👉 ruclips.net/video/i89gDuWva60/видео.html 👈 and 👉 ruclips.net/video/hvmRvelUY4U/видео.html 👈
Thank you for your Great tips. I have never gone beyond dating single moms, and some of them with good qualities from my church. I love peace & quiet and too chicken to deal with all the dramas. Now, I'm happily single ☺ and I love it!!👍
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
I was with a single mom for 9 months and I was the first man she introduced her son to. She is from Peru so her upbringing is different than American women. One point her son tried to leave the table while we were eating and I told him he is not leaving until at least half of his plate is done. He actually listened and was excused. I even took both her and her son to the movies. Even though we broke up 3 years ago we still keep in contact and her son even contacts me to help with his homework.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Dont forget, her kid(s) is first, always first and that's totally fine. then comes her family, then her dog(s), then her social groups and therapy sessions, yoga, what-have-you, then her Ex-boyfriend or husband and the list goes all the way down until you're last place. imagine a DOG that has a higher position than you. Let that sink in for a bit and think about it. a dog...
plus, from what i read about, Nice guys seem to be the target for single moms too compared to the "bad boys".. plus her Ex could slip in at any time and retake the throne as the legitimate father of the house hold. so where does that leave the newly step dad? out the damn door.
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Most true comment in here.
@@OctopusDanceParty yeah it is
My next-door neighbor is a single mom, 57, with a son in college, divorced for over 8 years. We're both alone in our houses nearly all the time and she's only 3 months younger than me. In the past I've given her compliments both in person and via email (clothes, hair) but she's never responded to those. It's *so* difficult to initiate a relationship with her, she seems so content to live a singles life with no dating. At 6'1" and 190 lbs, I have confidence that she COULD find me attractive. I would like to ask her out, but it seems like a longshot. When I first met her, she was very quick to reveal to me she was divorced and I'll never forget how she smiled at me right then.
My videos How to Attract Beautiful Women (The 5P Strategy!) check out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/fiQsl3ItyIA/видео.html 👈 and How to Build Attraction and Avoid the Friend Zone (Dating Advice for Men ) check here 👉 ruclips.net/video/nBKbZZxZueg/видео.html 👈 will be helpful to you.
@@YourWingmam Thanks so much for your reply. I'm checking those out along with more of your videos. I really want to commend you for the extra effort you go to.
I guarantee that woman is lonely and it is a just a show that she is content. STOP giving her compliments, never. It would be very awkward to start dating your neighbor because there is no space, and I speak from experience dating a woman in another apartment in a huge old house. I would absolutely never do that again. Really, don't compliment women, they don't really want to hear it, and this is known by her action of not responding to it. She is telling you she doesn't want to hear it.
I was in a 18 months relationship with a single mom and the only thing I want to share with you guys is this… **if you’re not a single dad, don’t do it** if you’re living with the complication that come with a child, at least make sure it’s yours
One big thing to consider is how old she was when she got her baby, the younger the worst! About 80% of my female coworkers are mothers and all (literally all) of those who had their baby at a younger are absolutely not loyal to their significant other (I’m talking under 22)
Not all single mothers are to be avoided there are some single mothers you might want to consider dating and my video ONLY Consider Dating These Types of SINGLE MOMS! (She's a Good Single Mother to Date IF...) will give you the clarity you need check it out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
I totally get the point of the video and I even agree that is wrong to generalize about people but my advice from my relationship and by watching my coworkers would be “single mom is probably not the best option” and even some of my single mom friends think the same.
When I say to them: imagine your 20 years old son comes to you and tells you about 3 women that he’s interested in and two of them had their first baby at age of 17 and the other one is single, no child and never been married… who you’d think is the best option? Assuming they all love him the same and threat him the same way. All of them say “the girl without children” and I agree with them
I don’t see the age correlation. What a strange thing to say
@@gypsy-nr9zd I agree
Been talking to a single mother for the first time lately. Starting to get feelings so I had to find a video lol, she seems to be a keeper according to your video
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
Number 4 and 5 hits home for me. Lil boy once told me "you're not my dad". I tell him "tell me something I don't know, kid". Now me and the woman was already broken up and on our way to divorce but I was still living there til my place was ready. She already turned the kid against me so I acted the way I did. That was my best way of saying "fu*k off, kid" without saying it. And she was also running around with baby daddy behind my back.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
This lady has like the best channel about this stuff. Love her
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
We can't help who it is we fall in love with . It is the only thing in life really worth having ; but look out when it comes .
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I appreciated the even handed attempt with this topic, but from my point of view ur were equalizing some of the concerns a man would have when dealing with a single mother. 90% of my concern would be if she is OVER the baby daddy, if there is STRONG boundaries duringthe coparenting process, it can serveas a reconnecting opportunityfor one or both of them. There's nothing else to consider if that's not settled if I want to have a serious relationship or marry her. I think both the man n the babymama can confuse needing to move with her needing help.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
One benefit a single mom gives to dating is that (little) kids don't have the same filters and self awareness as adults. The child will attempt to lie in the same way she does. If she has a bad attitude around them they will have it around you. If she lacks discipline they will. If she shi* talks the father, or others, the kids will as well. The kids can be an easy way to learn about all the important things she will attempt to hide from you.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Am not dating or doing this, but, it is one of your best videos. We people should take responsibility for who we date. but not disregard somebody based off of horror stories alone.
You're absolutely right, thank you for sharing ❤
Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. Dated one single Mom and will never do it again. She def. was not healed from her relationship with her child’s father, the kid was only two years old and she got cheated on by her child’s father. Situation drained me mentally and financially. Thankfully, it was only a couple of months and thankfully I didn’t develop a bond with the child, as that probably would suck losing both the girl and kid. I’m so sorry to the men that invested years and/or even gotten married…all for it to not work out. I will never date a single Mom ever again.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Good down to earth advice, much needed these days.
There's only one thing to know before dating a single mother; Don't do it. If you're a wise man, walk away. That's a huge red flag, and something to be avoided. Another red flag is if she had a bad relationship with her father, or no relationship with her father, walk away. If she grew up in a broken home, walk away. All men should hold these standards and many more.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Ha. The end of my marriage was so bad that I far from expected my loved one to be perfect. She isn't, but she is a lot closer to perfection than I initially expected.
"Kids first" was an essential pro for me exactly because I was a single dad.
She never tried to take up the mum role for my son like I never tried to be a dad for hers (with one exception - when he got engaged and he needed someone to plead for him; I still feel very flattered). So no, I never heard "you're not my daddy". And my son never said "you're not my mummy". Neither of us ever tried to be what we weren't.
Spot on: until she retired she was a hard worker (after too) with a soft heart. For various reasons I always found it important that my loved ones had paid jobs themselves. She never had any problem finding a balance between her son, her job, me and a few things more. And she always has been supportive towards me to find that balance.
Anna is right on all this. The kids make it harder too. My situation the kids weren't the problem. Things started out great heard stories of the X . Years in I learned the truth. Dude wasn't the issue. She made the priority she gave the kids all her attention. She never realized what I gave up to be there. Before I knew it I was more like a servant she wouldn't even compromise on anything. I did everything I could to make everyone happy. Everyone but myself. We never discussed anything around the kids. Once she started taking little jabs at me infront of the kids knowing I wouldn't say anything I knew. Me staying would teach the kids treating people this way was okay I had to leave. I loved the kids enough that Once I'd finally had it and wanted to expose the truth of sugar coating and white lies I had to leave. It still hurts and I miss them as if they are my own kids. He'll I still love her but couldn't put the kids through a long hateful break up they suffered that once before. Choosing a single mom is a big choice and has to be a selfless one. Really take your time and watch for red flags. Listen to her talk about her ex and see if things line up how she tell it. You have to remember the kids have to be your priority too.
My heart breaks for you! That's something I didn't mention in the video, if you get attached to the kids and it doesn't work out, you really have no rights to them. It's also a reminder we teach people how to treat us and if you let things slide, it'll only get worse until it can't be changed. Once a woman reaches the point of contempt, there's little hope of turning that ship around. :(
You are a brave man for leaving. You deserve a real relationship.
Well said
LOVED the red/pink screen ! Really brought out Stuffy.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
Anna, you always provide thoughtful and well researched content and this one was right up at the top with the best.
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
I dated a single mom for 7 months. She was a successful business owner and pretty but was pressing me for commitment from the get to. Needy, massive anxiety issues (I can deal with your most anxiety), and extremely selfish. She had every ex bf and even short term bf meet her son. The kid was great but I could tell all the moving pieces confused the poor little kid. She was demanding and could not hold down friends and none of her exes were on even decent terms with her. Always struggled to make and keep friends of any gender as well. We had top tier chemistry though and I was coming out of a very long relationship so I got sucked in. To you reading this: please do not get involved in a serious relationship with a single mom.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏 However, not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
I dated a single Mom about ten years ago. She had three sons. She was very open, spiritual, honest, and vulnerable, but was definitely the boss. She interrupted a lot in conversation. I brought it up, and she did a little experiment, inserting deliberate, awkward pauses, granting me a turn to speak. In short, it seemed like she was looking for a eunuch/butler/ATM. Nope.
Sounds like you had a bad experience. That sucks! 😞 Big hug! I think you might benefit from my WakeUP2Luv program... curious: members.wingmam.com/get-women/
Leave her alone keep pressing forward
Dating one now, and THIS HELPS! I know going in that I will NEVER be her number 1, but I will work hard to earn the #2 spot. Thank you.
My pleasure ❤️
My pleasure ❤️
My pleasure ❤️
That happened to me with the worst mom I had been with: my own wife (gladly currently my ex). I enjoyed the same signals:
1. I was not her priority, even I was real husband and father.
2. She was a crappy mom, amazingly, at the same time of the previous.
3. She was an expensive package, credit cards just rang like church bells.
4. Even I was the real dad, she spolied the kid raising me her hand on anything I tried to make an opinion on.
5. Yes I was the father and the husband, yet she kept on bringing her "ex-boyfriends magnificence" to the conversation, obsesively.
Guys..... this is not only about single moms. Could be for just "moms". Watch out in advance for dating signals.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
I agree. I was married for ten years and eventually figured out that my wife would never be a good mother. I'm so glad we didn't have kids.
I’ve recently fell for a hard working & very soft hearted single mom. She’s completely different than anyone I’ve ever met. Baby dad has been out of the picture for 7 years and he’s in another state. But I’m terrified because society says run, now I’m conflicted. I’ve been friends with her for two years. So she’s not a stranger. Hmmmm
Totally bro, i feel there's gotta be exceptions out there!
I was reading another article that said "Dating a single mom with a kid is like playing somebody else save on a video game" I have to say that is very true
This made me laugh out loud at 2:00 a.m. Thanks bro.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Thanks really and all the comments. I am in tears when reading the comments. I was terrified and at some points really scared thinking about how the thing will head to. Hope everything will go well and may all the timings are benefiting the relationship.
Every relationship I have had except when a teenager was a single mom. You are never the priority but daughters generally accept you easier than sons do. The daughters generally loved me who were not biologically mine. But you are not their father and cant discipline them. Kids and grandkids seem to love me but it has broken my heart that the grandaughter cries for me and wants me to be in her life and it is awkward when the mom doesn't want to see you after you break up. The daughters connect with me because I listen to them and try not to be judgmental and sometimes they will side with me more then the mother . They can see the flaws in their mom and call her out on things her boyfriend or husband can never do . If it were up to the children in many cases I would still be in most of the relationships with single mothers but the mother decided I was not what they really wanted. This doesn't generally happen as i hear the opposite from other people.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
My 38 yo daughter is a single nurse,lives 350 mls in Adelaide , hope she’s doing well despite her mom and I divorcing
Thanks.
🙏
Dating one is like walking a mile into a minefield, day dreaming about fairys and unicorns. When you realize where you are, its too late and there's no escape. Luckily for me, before i wandered in, I tripped and scrapped myself which broke the daydreaming trance and realized HOLY JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH THATS A LIVE MINEFIELD. I didnt take a step in and turned the other way avoiding a horrible painful fate.
There are many extra things to think about if you're going to step into a minefield that's for sure! lol
Hey Ana! Apparently the woman was spoken for, but thank you for the advice and support.
I like the flowers. Keep up the good work.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much, I will!
Just started dating a single mom couple months ago. Ex ain’t involved . I made it clear I ain’t looking to be a father to a child that ain’t mine, ESPECIALLY financially. We haven’t really gotten involved in each others personal lives yet either (meeting each others friends and family etc). I’m financially stable, she ain’t got a job either. I ain’t one to spoil someone that can’t afford to buy their own things. I’m not sure how this will play out but I may be ignoring too many red flags right now. On top of that, I don’t even want kids.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Get out while you can. You are just an ATM to her. If you marry her and later get divorced you will be paying her alimony, she will likely get the house and you have to pay child support for kids that are not even yours. I have seen cases where the mom successfully sued the ex-husband to pay for college too.
Be careful and try to improve your grammar…
MR. FBD can you come out of your delusions? You are her ATM. Read you sentence and tell me if it makes any sense. No matter what you say, you will be held resposible for the kids, child care, alimony, etc. There is no way out.
You are going to ruin your life dude. She will be extremely loving in the beginning, and once she gets comfortable you'll understand why you shouldnt be with her
Having dated a couple single moms in my time, all with different situations of why they are single moms, that I will say it's exponentially better if the ex-husband/baby daddy has either re-married or is in a serious relationship with someone else cause if he's single then you're in for a tough ride. It's definitely not worth it if he's still "an option" like that. Save yourself the grief and time.
🙏 Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that. However, not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Here are the types of single moms you might want to consider dating 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
After I divorced, back in 1994-95 I thought a single mom would more likely be a more mature woman and someone to build a permanent relationship around. Wrong!!! There is a reason why a single mom is single. I tried with some single moms and failed - in retrospect that was for the best. Nowadays, I would avoid a single mom totally; no matter their age; no matter the age of the children. I do not envy any man who marries a single mom. Not worth the trouble; and life gives one enough trouble anyway. I will remain single rather than marry a single mom.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
I was dating a single mom and she coulnt handle issues with her ex. All day they were arguing and her ex moved to abroad and she decided to visit him with her child ! And she wants me to understanding! And i decided to checked out of the relation. Thanks good we hadnt married
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
This was SO helpful! I took your advice and applied it to dating a single dad, and this clarified a lot for me. Keep doing what you’re doing! Thank you so much!
Side note: any advice for dating a single parent with multiple baby mama’s/daddy’s? 😅 asking for a friend…
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll add it to my list of requested videos! In the meantime, you might like this video 👉 ruclips.net/video/KwLhkrms3ig/видео.html
Wing mam! I agree with you 100 percent! It's as if you were speaking directly to me about African single moms! You are a an angel from heaven ,
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Most all the women I associate with have adult children as I do. When my kids were younger, many women would reject me because my kids were top priority. Wound up being a pretty good dating filter...although I still made some bad choices for other reasons LOL
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Men are not safe from moms with adult children and grandchildren. Ask how I know....
Just as easy to make bad choices with women with no kids I've found. You were a good Dad, have no regret.
@@chrisnamaste3572 Depends on what you mean by "safe"! Should be about constantly improving your experiences based on your own resonance, mom or no mom. We attract what we are....as they say.
That is powerful. Thank you
My pleasure ❤️
OMG! Where were you all my life! 😅 Seriously though! I'm a 45 year old content single man for several years now. I know some may say it's a complete beta move to raise another man's child however I took it as a complete alpha move as kids are innocent and I couldn't simply just turn my back on the kid especially because the mom was a train wreck. I had no idea what a narcissist really was and it's a rabbit hole I don't wish on my worst enemy. It's a years-long process to get over such an experience FYI. The breakup was most horrible because there was a child who in her heart saw me and still calls me Papa. She is 10yrs old now. I raised her from 13 months to 8yrs old I don't regret being the only one who ever bought the baby formula, diapers or extracurricular activities such as horse riding lessons, ballet, swimming and giving that child all the things I could as if she was my own. But the child is not your own! When the breakup occurs it's as close to experiencing the death of a child in it's own way and is really traumatic. Actually when you see that narcissistic abuse that I had suffered from being now projected on the child and you are completely powerless over doing anything good about it, it's humbling to say the least. Don't expect your friends to understand or anybody else for that matter. Just RUN! I don't recommend dating a single mother. You are playing around a nuclear meltdown! Especially a Eastern European narcissistic. Put your ego aside as it is not fixable and RUN! If you don't know what narcissism is I suggest you really educate yourself and learn how to identify them before you get humiliated and heartbroken and just overall broke. I had a soft spot for a single mothers because I was raised by one who was ethically and morally a good woman. Unfortunately the internet and the propaganda it dishes out to young women today has really gotten things twisted. Everything on this video is completely on point based on my personal experience. I wish I would have heard this as a young man in my twenties. Thank you so much for your care, concern, compassion and information in your videos. Thank you! You and your channel are truly amazing and a blessing!!!
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Thanks for sharing your story
It’s awesome hearing these reasons being confirmed by a woman.
Another reason to consider is when a kid doesn’t like their mother’s new boyfriend, the kid will falsely accuse him of something horrible that he didn’t do, just to get rid of him. Even if the guy is innocent and clears his name, there could still be a stigma associated with it.
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
I've been in three relationships with single mum's in my life time ( slow learner I know ) and it has always , always ends badly , its hard these day , as we get older to find a woman that hasn't got kids , even if they are adults there will always be problems.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
It's a massive societal mess.
I like how one guy put it.... " dating a single parent usually fails miserably because you are a constant reminder that mom and dad are no longer together." amen.
Don't get me started on the destruction of the family unit!
And thanks for watching!
I hate saying this, but it is real.
Sometimes a Mom is single because she is not a nice person.
People should always look for red flags and take their time to know someone before they live with them and commit further. So take the reality, if she is a solo mum she not only comes with baggage, but she may be the reason the father left in the first place and your just next in line.
I dated one solo mum in my life and she was awesome, so I am just saying this out of intellectual awareness.
You are absolutely right not all single mothers are to be avoided there are some single mothers you might want to consider dating and my video ONLY Consider Dating These Types of SINGLE MOMS! (She's a Good Single Mother to Date IF...) will give you the clarity you need check it out here 👉 ruclips.net/video/j3pufu8QXnc/видео.html 👈
If she had kids with just one man I could possibly understand, but with multiple men then she is the problem
Very right man
Thank you very much. Indeed, the person I dated only has one and a half of the keypoints you mentioned. Hard worker and heart softened, which I really apreaciated and made me feel deeper for this person, and maybe once in a while backup me while adjusting her kid because of miss-behaviour. For me, No priority , very low intimacy, crappy ex, jealous kids , jealous ex, even discussions by phone with the ex because of random things and unexpected call/questions and pick up / bring kids home, which means no boundaries established and she didn’t stayed very long out of the market after she got divorce, until I arrived one year after her divorce.
The global balance is that my feelings are getting hurt every time cause I’m a very sensitive person, and my needs aren’t being satisfied. If you are not only lacking benefits but being emotionally damaged while putting tremendous efforts let me tell you, there is a survival personality characteristic which is selfishness that can save your life in more than one occasion. This is no good bussiness and they say: I’m not for anyone, yes true, a single mum is not for anyone but; but ALSO he cannot pretend to be like any other single woman if she is not VERY WELL HEALED AND PREPARES TO KEEP A MAN.
Thanks , kind regards
I recommend dating 5 single moms and cycling thru them during the week, while also giving yourself a 2 day break.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Dating a single mom can never work unless you're a single parent yourself. A man should not ask the mom to put him first event hough in relationships, that's ideal but it is not logical with a single mom.
Also, single mom's always speak ill of their ex but the fact is, they're the ones who made the bad judgement call in being with them so long and having kids with that guy.
Single mom's always want the guy to make the sacrifice but us guys should focus on a single woman who has no children so we can be each other's priority from the beginning.
I was in an online relationship with a single mom and I had enough, her ex kept showing up at her workplace and destroyed a journal that she kept specifically for me. She started to say that her ex stopped with alimony towards her youngest one and she had a lot of pressure. She lived with her family and still no one was really into helping her. She even had to give money to her parents rather than them helping with the kids.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I've been there, done that. Never again. One, you have to deal with the baby's daddy. And two, no matter what you do for the children, they will never be your children. To each is own, don't get me wrong, if someone is willing to make it work then power to them. But I know as for me, I don't want a ready-made family.
Great point that reminds me of something else... One thing I haven't mentioned in my single mom videos is also that if you and the kid do get along, if you eventually break up you have no rights with that kid. Thank you for sharing your experience!
@@YourWingmam that is why I made a promise to myself never to go back down that road again. For what it's worth, I'd prefer to start with a clean slate if you know what I mean.
I've also, been there, done that. Like you, never again. I'm always skeptical when a man says how his step kids love him just like he was their real father. Of course it could happen that way, but it certainly didn't for me, and apparently not for you. My honest guess / genuine evaluation is it is almost always a superficial relationship. Except in extreme cases, the bio father will always trump the step dad.
I have never heard the term “Baby daddy”. I thought that meant the child. I have a mate who refers to her daughters as M1, M2, M3 as in monsters. They aren’t. They are the most delightful young women I have ever met. They reflect their mother. The thing is M4 is her husband. He is a good bloke; husband and provider. He has some mental health issues and hadn’t step up to some parenting duties. Hard when both parents are professionals.
Anyway, I suggest you refer the childrens father as “the childrens father”. This will help change your attitude to the family situation. You will feel happier.
Perhaps marry a woman who doesn’t have children but would like to with you. There be your family.
Problem solved
I dated a mum who was the main care giver to a 12 year old boy. The father was in the boy's life.
I was last of concern even behind her dog. On top of that she had been abused by her step father when she was a teenager herself.
Foolishly, I thought I could make it work. Ultimately, because her kids (teenage son and two adult daughters) felt confused about me , I was friend zoned and left.
Never again.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Unfortunately, marriage tends to be a "till death" thing in my community.
Only known one single mom my entire life. And she was westernized like me.
Which is why people should understand why we take dating so seriously. And yes, it's also because we are shy and perhaps the world's worst pickup artists.
So many western women take insult when we don't jump on dating opportunities. Sometimes even verbal insults. A young girl even said "Are you a man?!?!"
And unfortunately single moms have almost zero chance getting remarried. She really would have to date waaaay beneath her or put herself on western dating sites.
Thank you for sharing. It isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Thank You For The Awesome advice!!
Glad I could help 🙏
I was getting friendly with a single mum who lived just a few doors away, but then one day I overheard her 9 year old daughter telling lies about me to other kids from the area.
The previous day, as I came out of my house she had thrown herself face down on the lawn pretending to be dead. At the time I found it hilarious, told the girl too slow I spotted you, got in my car and drove away.
So the following day I overheard her saying how she was badly hurt, needed help and that I just didn't care. Not a terrible lie in itself but I could imagine bigger and better ones and how it would all sound being retold by the other children. It made me realise that my freedom and liberty could so easily be removed by the stories of a little girl (who has to be believed).
Much to the girls horror I immediately knocked on her mum's door and explained what was happening, mum was great about it but of course I had already lost interest.
Conclusion, do not get involved with another man's children it could literally cost you everything.
If you are male, single and childless you have high value so just look for someone else.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Never, and I mean never, get friendly with a single mom you see every day. 3 doors down or at the workplace. She will haunt you literally and in your thoughts.
I don't know if RUclips will show you my comment so long after the video uploaded... but thank you, again, for the encouragement! I am a single mom after escaping domestic abuse. I do have sole custody, and my ex husband hasn't even contacted me in almost a year, about our 2 boys or otherwise. I have taken the 4yrs since escape to heal.... a journey which I'm not sure will be completely finished till I die. But it is what it is. Anyway, there are countless videos about all the bad single moms, and it often feels discouraging.... thank you for realizing we don't all fit that mold & some of us may make someone's life happy again.... even if "romantic gestures" need to remain G-rated till behind closed doors. 💜
Funny, I randomly answer comments as I have extra time and here you are. I’m so glad you appreciated this video (I have a couple others on the topic interested.) The reason there are so many videos on bad single moms is because the men who’ve been hurt or used by them are the ones who watch them. Men who’ve had good experiences don’t tend to look for advice or validation of what happened. Understandable. I know several men who have been with good single moms for a long time (some til death they did part 😢) and are truly happy. The key is respect (of self and of other-team MATES) and open communication. *Choose well* and treat him like a king …and he’ll treat you like a queen. Big hug, keep moving forward, give yourself grace, you got this! 🙏
@Your Wingmam Thank you! I often look for hope & rarely find it online (understandably so)... I haven't been on 1 date yet, since escape. All the guys who have expressed romantic interest (so far) have begun to wave red flags pretty quickly.... and since I know predators like the vulnerable, they probably think I am. Anyway, it's nice to hear that I'm not "only damaged goods." I look forward to treating a worthy man like a king! 💜
5:42 Tip number five is the reason why I would never date a single mom. The only exception, is if he died and was an honorable man. The biological father will always be in that family, even if he is not living in the house.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate that ❤️
Im the childrens father, or BD if thats the route you want to go. I was with my kids mom for 16 years. We had our ups and downs, we were both flawed, we both made mistakes in the relationship but we always made it work, we always came back to each other. I was always the one trying to keep us close and make our relationship work for the kids. We were still sleeping with each other. 3 months go by and she starts seeing a kid at her work who is almost 10 years younger than her. But she completely kept the whole thing from me and never said anything to me as i still tried to make things work. Then it all comes to light one weekend we were at the beach together with our kids. I was completely devastated, hurt beyond belief. This was my family, this is the woman i truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I went to the kid one day after he got off of work and with no anger i was polite when talking to him. I told him my views I told that this was my family and that if there was any chance of us getting back together and us having our family back that thats what I wanted and that I would never give up on that. I asked that he not step on another mans shoes when it comes to getting in-between another mans family. Wanted to shake my hand after the conversation, and i told him that i would shake his hand if that respect was earned. Of course the moment she found out that i talked to him she flipped on me and did a whole 360. He basically told her that he wasnt going to stop and that he wasnt afraid of me. So if its an enemy that you want to make out of me when it comes to me and my family then I will be the worst enemy this kid has ever seen. The point of my story is if you are talking to a single mom and the father of the children comes to you and talks to you about standing his ground, You should respect another mans wishes for his family to be together. Aint no amount of punan is worth the trouble you are going to go through trying to fight over another mans family. Men have gone to war since the beginning of time over less. I will literally fight to the death over my family. I hope he is prepared for that kind of battle.
A mother’s loyalty should be with her child.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I'm a single dad and I definitely dont want to be someones top priority so im ok with #1 and the rest lol. I'm going on a date with a single mom next week and she's super rad. but i have to be mindful with a lot of things and take it sloooow. this was helpful
Glad I could help 🙏