10 Rich Person Behaviors That Poor People Get Judged For
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- Опубликовано: 9 авг 2021
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In this video, Chelsea talks about things we judge the poor for that rich people constantly get away with - from having multiple children to splurging on expensive electronics.
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I heard an anecdote about C.S. Lewis being asked by a friend 'why did you give that beggar money? He will only spend it on drink.' to which Lewis replied 'but I was only going to spend it on drink.'
Well, at least he didn't say, "but I was only going to spend it on crack cocaine".
I did this once on a Christmas night out. We were going home and I had a tenner left from the money I had put aside for blowing on that one night. So I gave it to a man huddled on the frozen ground in his sleeping bag. My colleagues were appallex in cade he spent it on drugs but surely that was up to him? He might not have, he may have bought hot food to make it through the night. But it was gone for me anyway, so why not let him spend it as he chose? This man had so little in his life anyway, so fuck if he wanted to get high and forget for Christmas Eve?
I prefer the phrase, "give a man a fish he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish, he will eat for his lifetime". A beggar came up to my grandfather one day asking him for money, my grandfather turned to the guy and said "Get a job you bum! Don't waste your life begging for money, work hard to earn it". He ran into that guy again a couple years later and the guy ran up to him and thanked my grandpa so much for giving him the encouragement to get up and do something with is life and told him all about his life, how he has a job, an apartment and never begged a day in his life after that encounter. Some people just need a little push in life.
Right! Sometimes when I’m about to waste money on a lottery ticket, I will just give that dollar to the man standing outside begging for money.
The alternative would be to buy food, a drink, or something else that's useful and offer that.
Unfortunately, it does happen that they aggressively decline this and demand money instead.
Very true! I was once in a board meeting filled with *extremely* wealthy people. We were discussing a scholarship program that served high-performing students who had been through trauma. Some of the students were (understandably) struggling with their studies, and one of the board members went on a rant about how if these students couldn't keep up with the program, they should lose their scholarships. Meanwhile, this *exact* *same* board member was a former C-student who got into a good university thanks to his parents' connections and money. In this board member's mind, he was a smart and talented guy who earned his place at the table, and his poor grades didn't reflect his potential. But the poor grades of these scholarship students *did* reflect their potential? Wow, what a double standard.
I also hate how so many people have to disclose and relive their suffering publicly in order to prove that they are worthy of aid.
I mean it really highlights how much of it is just bigotry doesnt it?
Wow that person is a douche lol
Were you able to call this person out, or did you have to sit there letting them brag about hitting a triple when you knew they were just born on third base?
Was he former president George W Bush? So many of these clods in the world sheesh
The point about population decline being supplemented by immigration reminds me of another thing poor people are judged for: moving to a new country; when wealthy people do it, they're seen as worldly and adventurous, when poor people do it they're looked down upon.
To quote, "Expat is a word white people made up so they don't have to call themselves immigrants"
@@matesafranka6110 Was just about to say: immigrant vs “expat”.
@@matesafranka6110 yep, that’s why I hare the word “expat”. Not because it’s a different term but because it makes the whole thing very hypocritical 🙄
Oooooh, that is such a good point!!!!
@@Phlimbob it is ex-patriate not ex-patriot. Two different meanings.
Watching my friends get bullied in high school for having to get clothes at the Goodwill and then going to college where "thrifting" was a highlight of the weekend for wealthy friends was....a culture shock, to say the least
@@learnfaster164 wealthy people do thrift, wait for deals, and use coupons too
@@learnfaster164 Sure they do, but they do it as a fashion statement, not because they can't afford to buy new. I also wouldn't expect to see them at Goodwill. They're much more likely to go to small boutique thrift stores that may or may not support area non-profits (e.g. Main Line thrift stores supporting area hospitals).
Lol, I love thrifting have been thrifting all my life, so I can easily spot someone who thrift to budget/save money and those who go because its trendy.
@@danim.2717 I thrifted all the time before I got old and creaky. I’m not rich but I wasn’t poor. I thrifted, honestly, because I HATED shopping. You go into some department store and see three styles of shirts in ten colors. Go into a thrift store and there’d be all this neat, funky stuff for $3.
Now! I “dumpster dive”. It’s not as gross as it sounds. I live in a college town and when the kids move, they’d put stuff in a bag and put it next to the dumpster as opposed to IN the dumpster.
You’d be amazed at what gets thrown out. IKEA down comforter with 100% cotton comforter cover? Check. Solid oak tv stand? Check. Comfy cotton swear pants WITH THE TAG STILL ON THEM? Check. Minimum half the clothing I own is dumpster stuff.
And a good rest of the percentage is stuff I’ve owned for decades. The only thing FOR SURE I buy new is socks and underwear.
Why spend $40 on something when you can spend $5.
I think there is something very wrong with rich people going to thrift stores and showing off when poorer people need the opportunity to buy clothes they need and can afford, that much more.
girl, as a kid who was government cheese poor but became an upper middle class professional adult, I knew I was in a different world when I was able to quit toxic jobs and turn down job offers where the corporate culture didn't "feel right" & never think about the money.
Seriously, the trauma of growing up poor, at least in the environment I did, makes caring for my mental health that much more important but that's a serious privilege that people who are still in the neighborhood just don't have
Bravo! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 How were you able toake the transition from poverty to upper middle class?
@@TomikaKelly The short answer is that I was able to go to college and law school. My legal salary is nowhere near an upper middle class salary but I was a fitting model in college and that's what did it.
The long, real answer is that my parents worked very hard to get us out of the ghetto & into the suburbs. We were suburban poor but the suburbs have resources like school buses and college level athletic facilities and science facilities in high school and electives and extracurriculars.
There were grocery stores everywhere and no environmental stressors.
I was a student athlete who had to work to afford school sports equipment but I lived in a place where I could get a job and I drove to school and work because my school had drivers ed so I had a license
Because I had access to healthy food and gyms and decent schools and resources, college and law school and modeling were possibilities. I also don't own a big house or big SUVs like most people I grew up in the suburbs with do because I think I value things differently than my friends who don't know what government cheese taste like.
@@j.r.4627 All my admiration. It makes me cringe when people say college/education doesn't matter. They don't realize it's the only way (at least for me) out of my toxic environment. The only opportunity to see the other side of the fence where the grass truly is green.
@@virgilynabibas9445 for sure, me too
@@j.r.4627 Well done! I have a weird (and unrelated) question for you because I am in a similar situation. If you have kids one day, they would obviously never experience what you went through. So, they would never understand your struggle, they would be just normal (priviledged) "rich kids" - maybe not rich, but you get my point.
Are you ok with that idea?
Because for me, I really don't know if I want to have kids knowing that they could never connect to me in that way. It is odd but I often wonder if I am the only one who thinks about that. Best regards
Literally the ENTIRE trend of ‘sustainability’. I’ve been reusing my rags, old t shirts, baggies, boxes, jars, etc for as long as I could remember. I was RAISED this way. Having excess and mass consumerism shoved down my throat via social media only to have this sustainability ‘trend’ pop up is a serious slap in the face. Having grown up being mocked for reusing my shit, this trend leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. Poor people and minorities have been doing this shit for decades…..
It’s designer virtue signaling. 🤣
Omg YES. My so called friends made fun of me for reusing boxes and bags, clothes and jars, seen as "cheap". But my parents come from nothing and think wasting stuff is financially dumb, and I agree with that. Same with having a bottle to refill, now everyone has a fancy bottle and act like they discovered something important, when all this time they could simply afford buying water all the time.
Totally! My parents always raised us to take care of our belongings (even if they could be easily replaced) and though we weren't necessarily poor, my mom took us shopping at the local thrift store for our clothes. (In later years I was grateful when we finally got to shop at the mall for back to school sales, lol.)
It's always been pretty appalling to see certain wasteful habits, but I do feel hopeful that at least more and more people seem to be coming around and realizing how unsatisfying overconsumption really is!
When sustainability becomes a trend, it means it's gonna go away and give way to mass consumerism again. I'm sometimes very thankful for my Indian upbringing because in general, Indian parents raise their children to b super frugal and never to waste anything (not trying to gloss over toxic things they do, though).
PREACH, I literally dont give away clothes cause i wear them until they are busted then i wear them at home and when they are to busted for that i turn them into rags.... then to sit in a seminar in work you young people are to wasteful... excuse me..
1. Being Wasteful 1:56
2. Quitting Toxic work environments 3:40
3. Having multiple children 4:58
4. Buying big toys for the family 9:05
6. Drug / Alcohol use 12:38
7. Hypersexuality / Sex work 14:38
8. Liking fast-food / Junk food 15:55
9. Laziness 17:39
10.Looking good while looking messy 18:42
*there is no tip 5
+
Thank you 🙌
+
Merci
I think tip 5 was the phone?
I grew up poor and I find thrifting to be one of those things. We only bought new clothes once a year for school, otherwise we thrifted or got hand-me-downs. Cut to now and it's seen as a trendy thing to do. When I go back home to visit and go thrifting, the prices keep going up... and that kills me because the entire community relied on that.
I just got back from a thrift store, I am a college student so if I am buying, I gotta thrift it. A casual dress was ten dollars…that is what I paid for in high school at like a Forever XXI for a trendy dress, why is thrifting so expensive? And then this store I went to had this one wall of name brands, not the cream of the crop but yaknow name brands, and they were marked up even more! The store runs on volunteers too, none of the staff is paid.
Because people with money are tired of paying for cheap disposable fast fashion… drives up the demand for higher quality thrifted clothes.
@@lifebrarian yep. There are a slew of videos on the gentrification of thrifting... it's awful.
@@borkbork4124 we had similar, so the store I grew up with was flat rate for categories regardless of brand. 2$ for a blouse, 2.50 for pants/shirts etc etc... now they're picking out brands and charging more for them. Also all those clothing donation bins?? Those were how we got so many popular US brands (I'm from Nova Scotia, Canada)
Same! Thrifting when I was a kid wearing thrifted clothes was something you could get bullied for. Even going to grocery stores that are popular now for being more organic friendly like Aldi was something to get teased about.
Standing ovation for your very accurate assessment of the reality that we subsidize corporations paying low wages, not low income earners with multiple children.
Absolutely!! I agree with that eye-opening perspective! It is so true!!
Yes, that's the reason for asking the question do you receive help from the government i.e. snap; I was told this is done too show the company is hiring minorites....a social worker told me companies are given monies for hiring minorites and ppl getting government assistance.
We subsidize every business that pays low wages, even the mom and pop businesses. If these workers just fight to unionize and fight for better wages, the government wouldn't have to get involve.
I agree with You. This is the most important point made un this video, I think.
The point about children reminded me of the pure unbridled rage I feel towards the adoption system. It's so expensive that most perfectly capable parents will never be able to afford to adopt even if they could afford to care for a child.
Agree. It’s also a life lesson I learned when family members take a child vs losing the child within the system. Someone is profiting from these high priced adoptions and the narrative “just adopt” is hard when it costs more than a car or an education.
Yes!!! And takes too long as well. As long as you have space and lead a healthy lifestyle and can pay the bills it shouldn't matter!!!!
Not to mention the racism and classism of international trans adoption. A lot of adoption agencies prey on young poor woman who don’t speak the language of the documents they are asked to sign.
Adopting from the foster care system is cheap
@@shoshanakirya-ziraba8216 true, but for many it's also not ideal either if you want to adopt a baby - which I'm not saying is good or bad, but many people want to adopt newborns not teenagers. It's sad but it is what it is.
Poor people also aren't allowed to speak for themselves in the spaces where change is needed to mitigate their struggles.
So, thank you for maintaining your perspective and keeping that voice loud, Chelsea. Not everyone who "makes it" does that.
We see and appreciate you!!
As someone currently facing a housing crisis that is entirely dependent on whether I am judged as "worthy" of staying somewhere, this whole video spoke to me.
Good luck with your housing issues!
welfare cliff keeps people poor
Number 6 reminded me about this joke.
“Homeless person asked me for 10$. I’ve asked myself: “Do I want this money to be spent on drugs and alcohol?”. The answer was no, that’s why I gave homeless man the money.”
Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.
When I was heavily pregnant and tired and unwilling to walk home, my family and I ran into a homeless dude at the corner a mile from our home. I gave the guy $5, and this tourist who was also in the neighborhood turned to me and said, "I hate to tell you this, but that guy is gonna just go buy drugs with your money," (incidentally, where do you get drugs for $5??) I said, "It's my money and I can do as I like with it," and then I used the energy from being pissed at the tourist guy to walk the mile home. I have no idea why I'm telling you this story. I guess I just wonder where you can get hard drugs for $5 or $10. (Asking for a friend.) Also, although I don't think it's wrong to give $$ to a homeless person... I wish there was a better system in place and there weren't homeless people.
@@katefriend4085 It’s so easy to seperate ourselves from the homeless. I imagine sitting there waiting for someone to care, just for the moment where someone noticed me and they get chastised for it assuming I’m a drug addict. Like that would seriously hurt my inner core forever.
@@katefriend4085 I’m sorry to tell you that you could buy $5 and $10 worth of fentanyl here in San Francisco that’s the new heroin if it’s not in your district will be soon.
And most not all but most people begging on the streets are junkies
@@katefriend4085 you can definitely get some kind of hit for $5-10. Drugs are definitely not a luxury only the rich can afford
@@sanfranciscodamn where are you getting the data to make these conclusions on «most» homeless people? Genuinely. In LA we can’t even manage to get the entire homeless population included in the census, apparently.
On the children subject, it amazes me how lots of people judge the single mother who works a tone of hours in multiple jobs to give her kids the best life she can, while giving then her care and love, but nobody judge the rich couple that has 4 or 5 kids but NEVER do anything with them. They just use their money to pay other people to raise their children.
I prefer a thousand times a loving poor mother/father than having parents that pay more attention to their money than to their children.
I have always hated the stigma associated with social benefit recipients. My family actually received food stamps for a few months. After being the breadwinner, I had to stop working to care for our chronically ill child when she was diagnosed. My husband was laid off almost immediately afterwards due to covid. He immediately began working full time at a chipotle despite his field being IT and we had to live off food stamps and WIC during this time. Being able to eat allowed him to take occasional days off for interviews so he could find a new job in his field. And now we no longer need the food stamps and he works in his field making more than before and we are able to sustain ourselves. But we weren’t just lazy, nor are most recipients. We just needed extra help after a series of terrible events.
(We didn’t have any savings either. 3 weeks after our daughter was born, my husband had a bad sports accident that cost all of our saving for the surgeries despite us having insurance through his employer at the time)
At least you stayed with him and suffered through the harder times instead of separating, sucking him for child support and then having him go to prison when he cannot afford it, or sucking him so dry he is homeless giving all the money to you.
So.. at least you were a decent person.
I went through something like that. I was granted the possibility of going to the social food store by social workers and I went in my decent car, I would bring it to my decent apartment, I had a decent phone in my pocket and wore decent clothes. All those things had been obtained before disaster hit our household and I was in risk of losing both the car and the apartment, but someone who looked at me might say "why is she in here?", meanwhile I was pregnant and living on little food to feed my first kid correctly.
Statistically, most people receiving SNAP are lower middle class families; most are on the rolls 4mos or less.
Now, with the economy and COVID it may no longer be true but up until the Great Recession it was. And had been for decades....
@@xenxander Who hurt you?
The way you used government assistance is the way it was intended to be used. It should be a stop-gap for temporary hard times, not a way of life.
As someone who grew up middle class and has remained there my entire life I'm very guilty of having this kind of mentality on a few of these.... Now I'm realizing that a lot of it is just because I haven't experienced poverty personally and I was way too judgmental... thank you for reframing my thinking!
Been on both sides and am upper middle class now… the experiences I had when I didn’t have much taught me my judgment of others stemmed from how much things COST and not the impact they had on life. It was a wake up call.
Ugh yes I just realised I am guilty of some of this too. Like thinking poor people shouldn't have kids... In hindsight that is so wrong
Love folks who can open their minds.
I think the biggest privilege is the perception of choice. If you are living in a small space, taking public transportation, and have a limited wardrobe, but you can afford more, you are perceived positively and you feel good about the choices you make. If you do these things because you have no resources to do otherwise, your social coin plummets and you feel unhappy with your life. It comes down to the perceived "why" of your life choices.
This, this, this, this, THIS!!! I’m living it right now, as my income has increased the lifestyle scrutiny from friends, family, etc. has decreased proportionally. Funny how we’ve come to a place as a society where judgement is the norm, and rather than extending a helping hand to those in need we’d rather bicker over the minutiae of their lives and choices 😔
I think you really hit a home run with your comment. Thank you for posting!
@@tinalewis6782 I've been thinking a lot about this subject. I'm glad my comment resonated.
For me, it is even true for self-perception. When I was renting not that nice flat and could not afford aanything better I felt like a failure. Then I was promoted and got a raise that allowed a better apartment. And at that time I felt much better, because I could move to another apartment, but chose not to in order to save more money
Another note about phones, I've had multiple jobs where I've had to clock in through apps. Jobs have message apps that they communicate through. If you have to deliveries you'll need gps, etc. Smartphones are also necessary for a lot of disabled people. Live captions or voice assistance allow people to be independent.
Thank you so much for acknowledging this! I feel like most of the financial advice RUclips channels are tone deaf. I just got done watching a video from an entrepreneur telling us to override fear of failure and keep trying. Who pays the bills when we fail and keep trying? She got to rely on her parents, and she has no idea that others don't have that option.
This this this
I'll never forget Mitt Romney advising college students to borrow $25k from their parents. Talk about out of touch...
Over privilege supports mediocrity
I couldn’t feel free or take any risks. I had to get through college and grad school and get a stable job. Helping me with educational costs was a sacrifice for my parents and stretched them to the limit.
@@genxx2724 I think a lot of college students are in this position. Either family members are helping you OR you want to be able to help your family by getting into the workforce as quickly as possible.
The rich person behaviour that annoys me the most is #vanlife. Living in an aesthetically pleasing van doing some vague online job is trendy. Yet a poor person living in their car is looked down on. ETA: A poor person should not have to live int their car to survive but van life suggests this is a choice people make not a result of circumstances.
People who live in their cars are not “poor” they’re usually vagrants. There is a giant myth that vagrants are just poor people cast out by the economy and this persists despite every survey ever done on the issue showing that vagrants are usually suffering substance abuse or mental health issues, mixed in with a few odd people who enjoy the lifestyle.
The vanlife people are not usually living on the streets in the sense vagrants are, and hence there’s no cost to society broadly from their actions. Another thing this person on the video is missing from her political ideology, “rich” people get passes on destructive behavior because society broadly doesn’t carry the consequences of that behavior
Exactly 💯
Good one!
“Society depends on people having children.”
Damn straight.
It’s GREAT to hear that from someone who is childfree by choice.
That prison one is so true. My ex got 6 months in prison for DUI, even though she hadn't drank a drop of alcohol. Just taken her antidepressants as prescribed. She was also obviously hallucinating in court after several days in jail, and was diagnosed schizophrenic while in prison. She didn't even get an apology.
When you work in a sunday brunch in a fancy restaurant you see the consumition of alcohol is ridiculous in the upper class, sometimes they drink more than they eat.
I saw that during the pandemic. Once I saw a line outside a store before opening hours. Thirty people in line waiting to buy alcohol. Others sitting in their Bentleys, Maseratis, etc. emerged post opening. It was 9am!
That’s their night out at the club. They’re too old to go out on Saturday nights, and they have responsibilities on Monday morning, so they go to brunch and do their drinking early. I would get a headache.
If I’m going out for brunch, I’m probably drinking more than I’m eating because I’m going to a bottomless brunch lol
@@genxx2724😂 Probably true, but so freaking funny. 🤣🤣
I completely agree with your first point. One of my guilty pleasures is watching tours of multi-million dollar homes on youtube. Despite all of them being within the bracket of being able to afford to put solar panels on their roofs and have high-efficiency appliances--many of them don't even have the basics! Yet, poor people are expected to "save water" and "reduce energy consumption" when in comparison the rich aren't even expected to do that because they can afford the high cost of energy and water.
being someone who cares about the plannet, I hate how coveted things like stasher bags are, when your re-used plastic take away boxes, drinks bottles, stained tea towels and other less glamorous bits are just as, if not MORE important. Silicone isnt even a renewable resource. It's not as perfect as people think.
Exactly!! I feel similarly to fast fashion, it isn't poor people driving up their sales, it's the people that could afford to buy less fast fashion and more sustainable brands (or secondhand), but instead choose to spend $500 on a FF haul every month.
Second hand, at least where I am, is a matter of luxury of time. Being plus sized also doesn't help as it makes it hard to find clothing that fits and flatters even when you have the same style in a variety of sizes but, even when I'm looking for my 5 year old (and we know that kids outgrow their clothes a lot so there should be plenty of hand me downs available) its only a 50-50 chance that I will find the item of clothing I'm looking for in the size I want in any given op shop, so you have to go through 2 or 3. So even though I'm not particularly low income, as a teacher and a solo parent I've largely given up on shopping second hand because of the amount of wasted time that I just don't have available.
@@ElizabethJones-pv3sj I can understand that - I like thrifting because when I do it, I'm enjoying the act of browsing for something, and I may or may not buy anything - I'm often not there because I need something right away. That said, I'm not a parent and I have financial privilege from coming from an upper middle class family. So I'm not going to judge people who don't shop secondhand because they don't have the luxury of time. Those people are not the reason Shein made like a billion dollars in a year 💅
Please don’t judge homeless or poor people for their vices. If I had to spend a night on the the cold, wet and dark street with no way of defending myself, you can bet your ass that I will be drinking/smoking/snorting anything that I can find. This doesn’t even take into account the mental health issues people struggle with.
I never thought about this. Thank you for the perspective.
Ahh no. That would make your situation worse. Don’t give people a free pass to do drugs.
@@katemiller7874 Ok. I hope you are not speaking from experience, but who am I to judge?
And not every homeless person is on drugs for Pete's sake. Check out the amazing number of tent cities and people camping in old cars. Then look at the stats on corporate layoffs, rent raises, evictions, inflation, and crap wages.
I would argue that in many cases being child-free by choice is also a luxury afforded to the rich. Many poor women end up unintentionally pregnant/pregnant at a young age because they can't afford birth control or don't have health insurance. And of course having kids they can't afford often traps them in the cycle of poverty, making it harder for them to go to college or get a high-paying, full-time job.
They’re systems in place in many countries to subsidize birth control and abortion. In most cases is more a lack of education rather than a lack of options.
I agree with you. I don’t think it’s 100% because of the cost of birth control, because birth control is covered by Medicaid for those who can access it, or by marketplace insurance, and while I’m not suggesting that this is the only option, abstinence is free (and natural family planning doesn’t necessarily cost much).
But to be child free entirely by choice, and not because economic circumstances are getting in the way of becoming a parent (ie not feeling like one can afford kids or not having the means to pay for fertility treatments or adoption), is in fact a privilege.
To be perfectly able to afford ones chosen birth control method or to be able to afford to have a child and to choose not to have kids for no reason other than that you don’t want to be a parent is a privilege.
and they just had to have sex 😂😂
@@Garadaghli yes actually. many women /young girls around the world are literally expected to be baby birthing machines and HAVE to have children. and no im not even talking about being raped although that's a whole other conversation and quite common.
@@lt.2992 access to those options whether societal stigma or the closest one being two states away is also an issue.
I appreciate your continuing to pull down the veil between the rich and poor because it’s all arbitrary and cruel for literally no real reason! I always enjoy videos that discuss stuff like this because we literally cannot fix the problem if we can’t even acknowledge problematic things as being problems
"The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them" - Louis C.K.
The difference between self-care and laziness comes down to your income bracket - BOOM! Nailed it.
This is exactly why I subscribed to your channel. As a once poor and now quite privileged person who have choices, a lot of finance/investment content is about "poor people cannot save/invest because they lack judgment", just because this person buy a motorcycle/car to take him from his/her house to the workplace and/or to drive their kids to school or to go to Starbucks once in a while. Love you, Chelsea!
I have to admit, even as a poor person I definitely judged other poor people for this same stuff.
Definitely same.
Yeah, not a fun feeling. I have done the same with ither women wearing makeup and painting their nails….then I started to do it and it made me feel better, and more pretty. During 2020 I bought a few bottles of nail polish and so painting them and letting them dry helped me cope with being stuck at home. While I paint my own nails, which costs less than getting them done by someone else, no shade to anyone who does that. My mom treasures that time she has in between her split shift to get her nails done. On the surface it looks frivalous, but it is not and we cannot judge people for enjoying the simple things. It is so wholesome to see how excited my mom is to get her nails done. She gets to choose what color and she always gets a little design on top and lives for the short hand massage as well.
@@borkbork4124 That is so sweet TT_TT thank you for sharing.
Actually! I was about to comment this. I've seen poor people be judging other poor people.
Your self awareness is good :) 💓💓💓
I go to school so one day I can buy a house, while some people in my class are there to run their parents companies when they graduate
I grew up in poverty with six children. We moved 14 times before the age of 17. I will never forgive my parents for irresponsibly bringing so many children into the world who they couldn’t provide for. It’s absolutely irresponsible and inexcusable. If you cannot afford children, do not have them. It’s so absolutely selfish. My siblings and I lost our childhood because of this. So yes, if you cannot afford to have children don’t have any.
agreed, thank you.
As a disabled single mum to a teen, I hate that due to being poor, I can’t give him the ‘childhood home’ that I never knew was a thing until I heard about people not moving every two years. My biggest hope is to get welfare housing in the future, since I’m a pet sitter and can’t have a traditional job, I make a very low amount of money. But it’s money. But now I’m working, I’m being told to find a better job. This is a job. It’ll never be good enough. Disabled people and our kids suffer and I know ill hate myself for him being stuck with me forever.
The "poor people shouldn't have children" thing is just straight up eugenics with a touch of Eco-fascism for flavour.
Also the 19 Kids and Counting stuff is fueled by the christian/conservative Quiverfull movement, which is uhhh pretty awful too.
It’s such a weird point because a child born rich will have a much more damaging environmental footprint than a child born poor. Just one of the many hypocrisies inherent to eco-fascism.
Yup. Good callout.
Yeah, and totally not not wanting children to be brought into the world and putting financial stress on their parents, who will probably be unable to educate them and continue the poverty problem
@@nadie8093 Poverty is a structural problem and not an issue of personal responsibility.
@@marleegreig it is easy to blame structural problems, however most people in western democracies are the cause of their own poverty.
For example, a significant share of millenials spend more money in coffee than they have saved. Or like the poor people who spend more than 1% of their income playing the lottery.
In college I worked at McDonalds (as one of my jobs to help pay for my degree) I had way more middle class and upper middle class moms who came into McDonald’s than people who were poor. And those who were poor were more likely to be honest with a cup of water than upper middle class moms who’d ask for cups of water then fill them with soda. As well, middle class moms were more likely to have coupons and get upset when they couldn’t use a Burger King coupon at McDonald’s.
in other words... a coupon is a coupon, right?
what entitled, oblivious sows!
Nice video. Something i'd add which I think doesn't get discussed enough that rich people love doing but poorer people are shamed for is haggling/negotiating prices/trying to get a 'deal' out of someone or something.
Yeah, especially when many rich people go out to a restaurant and take advantage of getting free food when you complain.
Poor people are more likely to tip well, as well.
I specifically remember an episode of Judge Judy where she asked one of the litigants why they have an expensive new iPhone, and then criticizing them for not using the money for something else. It is very much ingrained in pop culture.
an Iphone isn't necessary when there are cheaper options that can do the same thing, for under half the money.. so the criticism is justified with apple products.
@chemik A new iPhone is simply a choice. If we were to judge every person's morality by "why are you not buying the cheaper option?" then everybody would have demerits points.
There's always a cheaper option.
Poor people being susceptible to a multi billion dollar marketing campaign is not a character flaw. It's just the system working exactly how it's designed to.
@chemik Your falling into an ad hominem argument by assuming I was making a commentary on my life.
Have fun with that.
@@xenxander how about it's no one's business what kind of phone a poor person uses?
i don't get expensive phones, for rich or poor. unless you're making movies, you're probably not using all the power you're buying. you can spend $200 on your phone that does what you actually need a phone to do, and spend the rest on a decent laptop computer or touch-screen tablet, for the same price as one iphone. i guess if you're rich that money might not matter, but i'm poor, and laptops are very useful for poor people, and can do many of the same things in a superior manner (try doing homework on a phone).
I once went to a meeting to support the creation of a single room occupancy home. One person objected because they might sit on the porch and drink beer. Huh? Really?
Would they rather these folks sit on the sidewalk outside a 7-Eleven and drink? Not that everyone in SRO programs drinks, and some are pretty strict about stuff like this, in order to create a safe environment for people overcoming substance use issues, but I think it oils be better for folks to drink on their on porch than be homeless on the street.
@@lisawise4204 Yup. And, I bet he wouldn't have had a problem with a single family homeowner sat on the porch and drank beer.
I am actually experiencing the second one. Before the pandemic, I had to move because of my rather toxic household and start paying my own way. Then the pandemic hit, and I got stuck with this terrible job that pays me below minimum wage. My friends told me that I should just quit, but I'm not sure they realize how difficult that could be, since I was the only one in these several friend groups living alone (most, if not all of them, live with their family). I noticed that most people that I know that actually got to be more successful early on in life are the people who didn't really need to worry about money that much, and that these people also have the support of their family and friends (financially, or even just being there for them). It's rather difficult to start somewhere where you don't have connections nor the funds to have the time to look for a decent job.
Unfortunately I've been guilty of this same mentality. Two friends of mine, one rich and one poor have said the same sentence, "I can't live without an air-conditioner." (A sign of LUXURY in India). They both have similar incomes but one of them is heavily weighed down by education debt whereas the other one is on 100% scholarship and in a better college. My reaction to the rich friend was, "well just get an AC then", and my knee-jerk reaction to the poorer friend was how she shouldn't be wasting money on an AC when she could use her hard earned money to pay off all her loans and run her household (this was after she told me she needs to support her parents with her salary).
When I was in my 20s I was deep in debt, had no time for meal prep or workout while working 2 jobs. I now have a much more economically stable position and a lot of the tips on TFD have helped me a lot.
Thanks for making this resource!
You sound like me. I finally got into a stable place until I lost my job and now I am back where I was even though I saved money. Its exhausting and everyone is so judgmental about it. Just to let you know you are amazing though and strong
@@jesuschild07able you will get there again. This life ebbs and flows
Thankyou so much for this video- i know youve touched on this before with minamalism aesthetic, but seeing a video like this is super comforting and affirming for me. Ive had so many people- even people i care about- judge me for the choices in clothing, lifestyle, use of time, accent/dialect, based on my class- and it can be incredibly hurtful as well as economicly damaging.
I want to bring up something though, its not just leaving the job thats seen as classy if your wealthy/trashy if your poor- its complaining about the job at ALL. Theres a pervasive attitude that poor people are so lazy and uneducated that we should feel gratefull for any job we get- regardless of how badly were treated. And thats if people dont just assume were lying or exagerating about it in the first place. I think this is begining to change a little with growing awareness of workers rights, but all too often you still see working class people who get literally sick or injured by their work talked about as if its their fault, rather than their bosses. The same does not seam to hold for rich folk- their stories of overwork induced sickness are treated like the tradgedies that they are.
Its actually really pervassive here in the uk- to the point that a mini industry of middle class journalists 'slumming it' or going undercover as impoverished workers has flourished even up till now. As if our own words and stories are not valuable or trust worthy. As if a poverty tourist could ever have more deapth of knowledge about our own lives than we do.
I am a culinary grad so I studied to hopefully earn lower-middle to middle class income as a chef. Not that being a chef is a lto fo fun, they are overworked and stressed, but being at the bottom is difficult. I have to put up with peoples’ sexist and egotistical comments. Worst of all, I work as a prep cook and I am scheduled a 6hour shift a day. I finish all my work in 4 hours, which I usually do, and they just send me home, they dint give me any more work to do. Doing your work with more efficiency is not rewarding when being paid by the hour. That is how I know I am disposable, because they only use me when they need me, but they dont gove me enough hours to sustain myself. I dont make enough money with that one job so I just secured a part-time job. Make it make sense please.
To your point in your comment, I am still naive in that I feel sooooo grateful when I get a job somewhere. I remember quitting my first job and my boss was trying to threaten me because I just flat out quit, rather than give a 2 wks notice: Hostile work environment and I got injured on the job and no one was enforcing the accomodations I needed for my arm to heal. When I told him I am done, he said I was being disrespectful for leaving especially since he was the first person ever to hire me. I was just a kid so I started crying, and I bought what he said. It wasnt until after talking to my dad that he told me to just not go in for my next shift bc there would be no way to fix a workplace like that.
I am in the process of unlearning that I should be grateful and loyal to whoever hires me.
@@borkbork4124 I'm so sorry you went through that! Having a boss like that is so awful, and especially when theyre so full of contempt that they wont even respond properly when you are literally injured and in pain. Nobody deserves that :(
Your right though, its absolutely something we internalise and force on ourselves as well. I started out working as a healthcare assistant in an agency (so that means i provided care for ill/disabled people when there regular carers were away/sick) so work was very irregular (zero hours contract) and very based on your reputation with your management. In that environmemt you learn to fear your managers, because if you upset them even slightly you could have no income for weeks and weeks.
I remember one time, in my first couple of months on the job, my glasses got broken by a client (severe LD, challenging behaviour) and i was schedualed in for a shift the next day. Now for this story you have to understand three things: firstly my vision without corrective lenses is around 20/200 (which is tge legal deffenition of blindness), i live in a rural area with poor bus service and couldnt drive, and the 45 minute walk to the care home was along an a road with no paths for pedestrians at all.
So i called my manager to explain the situation and they told me to see how i got on. I do my best and low and behold! Being mostly blind and walking along a busy road is terrifying and unsafe! So i turn around and give them a call. THEY RIPPED ME TO SHREDS. They called me selfish and unreliable, made out that id promised them id make the shift, and were utterly unsympathetic to the fact that i couldnt see. They left me in actual tears, so thoroughly bullied that i turned around and made that dangerous journey, scared shitless the whole time that i was going to be run over or trip and injure myself walking on that verge, did a full twelve hour shift at a place where it was known that clients sometimes injured (accidentaly or otherwise) their carers, and then walked back that same dangerous route in the *dark* . And i had to do that for several days before my pay check came in and i could afford a new pair of glasses. And for such a long time i blamed myself because clearly *i* (an impoverished eighteen year old) should have set better boundries against my boss (a thirty + year old man who had full control over my access to paid work).
So first of all, im glad you got out Alexis, and i hope your current boss is a decent person. And secondly, your not alone with this feeling, and its not naivety to assume someone wont put you in physical danger for their own financial gain- its you assuming your boss has basic human decency. Learning to safely stand up for yourself in that sort of situation is a skill, one that took me years (and therapy!) to learn. Its not a skill we should have to learn, but im glad your learning it anyway.
Frankly, as far as im concerned, a boss who emotionally or financially manipulates workers into physically harming themselves on the job is an abuser. Certainly coming into a job where im being treated with respect has left me feeling simerly to when i escaped an abusive educational environment.
And as a society i feel like demonising working class people for complaining about unpleasant, abusive, or actively dangerous working conditions allows us to divert our eyes from abusers in positions of power and carry on as normal. If we acknowledged that certain managerial behaviours are- or can be- abusive, then that implies that something should be done about it. However, if we victim blame workers for there own exploitation (even when we ourselves are the workers being abused) then the solution is simple- 'they' just have to work harder, be smarter, be more ambitious in order to earn better treatment. And thats comforting. It gives a sense that the world is safe and predictable- that if *you* work hard, you wont end up like *them*. That if *your* in a management position of course *you* would never hurt someone for your own convience. And if you dont have to deal with that at all? Then your one of the 'good' ones, you arent spared by luck or wealth, your just so clever and hard working that youve 'earned it'.
But at the end of the day, what people outside these situations are 'earning' are things like: safety, survival, autonomy, and access to basic human decency. And im sorry, but i dont care how lazy or nieve or stupid someone is or isn't- NOBODY deserves to have those things taken from them. Those things are human rights, owed to all of us by birth. And we should all be able to expect them to be met and respected.
Sorry for going off on one lol. Turns out i had a lot more thoughts and feelings than expected 😅
Yes I totally understand I finished my undergraduate with bad grades and subsequently struggled to get any graduate positions. All I could get was a retail position. It was sobering and painful to work so hard for such little reward. I would be overworked, bitter and tired and completely disrespected by my managers it was also very depressing to work beside teenagers just starting out and 40 years olds earning basic minimum wage. Very scary to see.
Three years later at 25 I am doing my masters and on track for a first class and have a middle class job working from home on my company bought Macbook. I work in my pyjamas and don't leave my bed and usually only actually work 2 hours a day in an 8 hour day but still paid. I have so much more autonomy in my day and my company benefits are truly amazing! ( Company pays for my gym membership, nails every month and I get a £1500 professional development fund every year) When I graduate my masters they have hinted at giving me a graduate role at my current company. It's truly eye watering and distressing how differently I am treated and how my voice, opinions matter in the company.
Now I never overwork for anyone or anything. I bought my first vacation home this year and I focus on working efficiently in the smallest amount of time possible. I will always put myself and health and safety first in this capitalistic society.
Wow! Poverty tourists - how shameful. It does stink that people think you have to have upwardly mobile desires to be seen as worthy of conversation - when in actuality - like you said - people in all working environments deserve dignity, a liveable wage, and health insurance. I’m completely with you on this one and will be googling the situation in the UK
It was the "bringing his extremely divorced man energy," for me. Hahahah that made my day
Wow when you were talking about how rich people see quitting a job they hate as empowering and poor people can't even consider doing that, it hit home. I had a job I hated for 2 years and for me, quitting with nothing lined up out of the question.
Also, I totally agree, we need to stop treating having children as somethibg only the rich can do. Anyone who wants children should be able to have them
Loved this video, I have thought about this topic with the rise of celebrities talking about their hygiene habits. Saying that you do not shower because "it's better for your skin" is easy an easy proclamation to make when you are wealthy and famous. More than likely celebrity status will prevent people from telling you that you smell and they are most likely nose blind to their scent. A poor person is going to be shamed for poor hygiene habits and is not going to get away with the excuse of saying it's better for their skin.
I thought the. same. thing.
The funny--both in the "ha ha" and the odd senses--thing is that social media allows the public to tell these celebrities--and anyone else who subscribes other questionable ideas about personal hygiene--their actions aren't socially acceptable , regardless of wealth. Will the criticisms affect those particular unhygienic entertainers' fame and, by extension, wallet? Who knows. But it's interesting to watch who also popped into social-media spaces to say they are dutiful showerers, almost as if they were trying to protect their own brands.
They're just nasty and trifling.
I do agree if a poor person said this no one would really defend them. I agree with them though not showering every single day isn't the end of the world especially kids. They probably don't smell and they didn't say they don't ever shower they said they don't have full on showers or baths every single day. But if they get dirty or feel like they smell they'll shower. Super rich people live in homes that always have air cons, new fresher clothes that are more breathable, and if you eat really well it's theorised your sweat smells less though that might be a crock. They still wash their faces and hands use deodorant and check daily they smell. It's silly to make fun of rich people for being smelly when their are plenty of other valid reasons to complain about them. Plus has anyone come out to say they do smell after the podcast came out I don't think so which makes me think this story was taken out of proportion.
@@AirQuotes I am not here to decide if showering everyday is right or wrong, do whatever you want to do. You do not need to be super rich to have air conditioning or have "fresh breathable clothes" these are all things I had/have regardless of what class I fell in and was also true for people I know who were in the same class as me. My point is not to judge or make fun of wealthy people, it is to say people do different things based on their circumstances and people disregard the circumstances of poor people. Marginalized groups live in fear of being judged or being seen as less than, so there is a constant need to overcompensate to fit in. This manifests in a lot of different ways, i.e. hygiene practices. So instead of seeing people who shower daily as "bad" think about where that habit may have come from and think about the privilege certain people have by not having to conform to societal norms . I agree with Chelsea we need to stop pacifying the behaviors of wealthy people while condemning poor people for the same behavior.
@@IfWeRanTheWorldXers Yes, it's definitely interesting to see who falls on what side and I am sure this won't affect their fame or wallets because all of the celebrities that I have seen saying anything in regards to daily bathing are people who are well established in their careers.
Could you please do a series on how couples living together manage their financial issues together. That would really be helpful
Heck yeah
Yess.
They all have their own ways
Although I don’t live with someone, I’d love this series because it IS THE REASON I HAVEN’T MOVED IN WITH MY GUY. Would love insights from a macro and micro scale!
They definitely have a few videos about this topic. Search tfd relationship finances
I commend you greatly for putting out this video!! I *wholeheartedly* agree with absolutely everything you have said! I grew up amongst many wealthy and privileged people, then decided to work in a career that paid very little, and also worked with people who were poor. These ideas/concepts that you mentioned in this video were glaringly apparent to me. And yet people I know of privilege just don't see why/how the poor make such choices. It is ignorance, plain and simple. So thank you for shedding light on this important topic.
this critique is so needed - on top of this, a lot of the issues we're facing environmentally are because people who DO have enough disposable income to make better choices simply aren't. people love to say "what about the poor people" to avoid having to reflect on any of their own decisions.
These types of videos are the real reason why I love this channel & share your contents with most of my friends, the non-judgmental ones lol
well, I'm poor and your video made me think of how I was mocking other poor people for looking chic some time ago, but I realised that I only did that to people I hated for other reasons like bad personal qualities. And when the poor people I like do any of those I love and support them
14:00 poor people can't afford a lawyer and on the best case are stuck with an overwork and underpay public defender
Years ago, my spouse had a background check for a job...and there was an arrest warrant for home invasion. I called to find out how to get this straightened out..."come down to the station "(um...no.) We had to pay $1500 to a lawyer to clear up the charge... even though we were literally living 8 states away when it happened (and I found a guy with the same name in the town next to where the crime happened.) Positive vibes from New Hampshire, remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social
That’s funny you brought up this topic. As a result of decades of sacrifice and aggressive investing, I’m now wealthy. I still dress and present myself as poor, but inevitably it’ll come out that I’m more well off than I let on. People’s attitudes and behavior around you changes dramatically when they think you have money.
It’s been…enlightening.
The worst thing ever is to let anyone know you have money, especially if you have empathy. I seem to be the 'fix-it' for everybody's problems, and nobody sees my working at home as work.
Oh yes, there is definitely the flip side of this video's title. You learn all the lessons of thrift from a rough beginning. But CONTINUE them once you become "well off" , and you will be criticized by both sides of the wealth divide.
I've been saying this for years.... Walmart needs to be held accountable for the large number of their employees on government aid.
I am also childfree by choice and I agree that we need immigration and better maternity benefits to keep society going.
@chemik I don't need anything. I am not going to have kids.
@@rebeccajones9757 👍❤
"The only time you should be looking at your neighbour's bowl is to make sure they have enough."
Power video. Love!
I never new how essential child birth can be for economy. As a young parent, I need to add that it is extremely expensive to have a child now a days. To find child care and after school care so that both parents can hold on to their jobs is difficult. And there is no government support in the area. Government school start at age 5 and in many states they are barely 3 hours a day.
I’m very thankful that our school provides us with ipads to take home and use in class. Many families cannot afford to purchase the newest ipad for their children. So students could go fully virtual with no expense to their parents. (this is a public school)
Investing is buying yourself a better future you don't have to work hard.
You can say that again.
I have archived many things in my life since I started investing.
What kind of business, or investment would you two motivational speakers suggest to your audience?😊
@@jamesonbilton2363 Real Estate.
Real estate investment lets people grow their net worth by amassing more and more properties. Its a good long term investment due to appreciation.
Hearing Chelsea state with her full chest that she is Wealthy was so refreshing. I really admire the self-awareness and transparency.
Rich people do intermediate fasting while poor people do "I have 5 bucks until next Friday"
Hi there. You are right. I am just writing to support voluntary intermittent fasting as a method to improve diabetes and lose weight. According to Dr. Jason Fung (from Toronto - where I live) intermediate fasting must be voluntary. Non-voluntary fasting increases cortisol which causes health problems. There is a possibility that a change in type 2 diabetes treatment towards intermittent fasting could help a lot of people without expensive and damaging insulin (essential for type 1).
Also, RUclipsrs do eat for $10 a week “challenges” with a instant pot, bread maker, air frier etc… while actual lower income people don’t have working fridges or stoves, no time to make from scratch noodles, bread and oat milk. You can tell they have no idea about actual hunger.
@@maryhutchinson7026 I love Dr. Jason Fung!
It’s hard to put into words how much I appreciate hearing your words of comfort and advice and the way you recalcitrantly take on established financial dogma. I can only say Thank You. It’s really nice to be seen.
I always think it is so strange to demonize “poor” women having kids when literally very few of us would be here if a poor person never had a child. Most of us don’t have to go that far back in the family tree to find someone who would be considered poor, working class, or on a bottom rung of society.
This is such a great point!!
Girl, i'd be okay not existing 🙏🏻 i did not ask to be born lol
+ reproductive abuse
@@Pomagranite167 if that's how little you think of yourself, please get a mental health check. That's very concerning
"Why did you give them money? Don't you know they are gonna spend it on alcohol and drugs?"
"That's fine, I was gonna spend on the same thing"
Bless you for remembering what it was like. I am so tired of being looked down on by my former neighbors, both when they were poor or the brief time when I had money. The ups and downs can be so sudden. I wish I had better understanding of what was important financially before I ended up where I am now. Thanks for being a force for good!
Sorry to hear about your situation! Hope things are looking up.
Your background has helped me understand so much about moving from financial instability to being socially/financially stable. I'm so glad you also help run this channel ☺️ ❤️
This hit home. As a kid, I was stigmatized at school for wearing secondhand clothes. Now I go on the Internet and I see wealthy people acting like they're so virtuous for thrifting, and these are the same types of people who would have judged me in school!
When I was in college, I had trouble participating in classes because I was the only person on the entire campus who didn't have a laptop. If I tried to talk to anyone about this problem, people who had laptops and took them for granted would act like I was being entitled for wanting the same things they had.
Another layer of the whole issue of traveling is planes vs trains. Especially in Europe, there's a big push to favor trains, since they're a lot more eco friendly (the Swedish even have the terms "flygskam" and "tågskryta", meaning "flight shame" and "train brag"). Except, besides literally taking a whole day to travel, an international trip by train can easily cost 4 to 5 times more than a plane ticket. There have definitely been improvements, but it's once again one of those areas where being eco-friendly is very much a matter of privilege. (Mind you, I'm generally of the opinion that we should all just travel less)
Similarly, I would like to take a bus to work, but in America, unless we live in metropolitan cities, there are no much buses available, so it’s always cars, for which we need insurance, and then purchase fuel. I like to just work from home 4 days a week and May be show my face at work once a week. Hope the rules change soon. I understand not all jobs have this luxury.
Also the EU is raising fuel duty on aircraft but not private jets.
Uh, we have a word similar in Germany - "Flugscham" for "flight shame". ;) And yes - trains are more expensive, take more time and - most important - are nearly always to late or got canceled. *sigh*
There are solutions though that could be implemented, if a society is willing to. P. Ex. Tickets can be cofinanced by the state. Especially for families. Another example, I know a company that will grant their employees two additional days off, if they use the train for their holiday vacation instead of the plane.
Here is a thought for you: Maybe you arent as poor as you think if you have been on a plane...
Well I LOVED this diatribe. Thank you we'll said. As my grandmother used to say walk in another person's shoes before you criticize them. You have no idea where, how, or why they are where they are today. Thanks for bringing attention to this topic!
Love those smart grandmothers.
I live on a budget in a small apartment and the manicured nails one is so true. I do my own nails, and have had people ask where I've gotten them done. Financially I've been forced into a DIY lifestyle. To the point where I'm actually pretty good at it. Nice video.
Honestly getting your nails done is so expensive. I wouldn't be doing my nails every month if my company didn't pay for me to get my nails done.
@chemik whatever floats your boat, and makes you smile. 🤗
@chemik I don't know about other women, but I do it for myself. No one but myself. A lot of things have been taken from me in life, (my health, much of my family, having kids of my own) so things like my hair and my nails and my Faith, things IN my control, I like to do. That's why I do my nails, simply. Not for anyone's approval. My husband is happy that simple things like that make me happy. I hope you understand why I do my nails, but I know alot of women do them for other reasons. To each their own. 🤗
@chemik Your assessment of women is severe if that's what you think of ALL women. If that's what you wish to believe, I'm sure not going to be able to convince you otherwise. LOL. I don't compete, as I'm not insecure about my husband's affection. I'm too old to bother with competition too. I also don't have to either. You're free to have your own opinion of the female of our species tho, but just FYI, not every woman beautifies herself to compete. Sometimes it's just to maintain her appearance for her benefit and if she's married so that her husband will be proud of her and not have to worry about her Physical or mental health. Because no man, wants to come home to a woman that lets herself go. That I can guarantee you.
@chemik "New and Big Cars" my husband drives a Nissan Versa. Could there even be a less sporty car than that. Sorry, I know some men do that, but not all men.
So much truth in this video. I have been guilty of some of the unfair judgements you mentioned, despite being a single mom of 2, making just 40,000 a year. I have been judged harshly many times as single moms are also in a more highly scrutinized category. It seems judging those even worse off can make a person feel superior, and sadly, it’s human nature to go there. I am embarrassed that I have gone there. Thanks for the smack down. I will do better. Cultural conditioning dies hard, but in my case, die it will. ❤️
3 steps for the "man"
1) take care of his responsibilities.
2) WORK and not take his wife for granted... Esp if she works and does EVERYTHING around the house (btw- THAT IS A FT JOB ITSELF)
3) actually show his appreciation for what she has gone through for HIM.
@chemik are you an incel?
@chemik you’ve written some really odd things in the comments. Yes the modern world can bring challenges for meaningful social interaction. Writing like you hate women isn’t going to help you there though.
35, married, college educated, with no kids. Has my low income influenced my choice to not have children yet? Absolutely. And no, that's not fair but here i am.
Great video!! This should be played in all high schools, to bring light to these topics for the younger crowds, in hopes to open their eyes and change the narrative.
I wish more primary school students understand this. I grew up middle class in an upper class school district. With my parents being middle class we were more than okay, but clothes from like a Kohl’s was seen as trashy when now as a college student I couldnt afford any clothes in there anyways. Most of the kids wore extremely expensive clothes and [it is more subtly taught that] kids would separate into groups dependent on their families economic status in regards to how it was reflected in their appearance. So, there were some upper class kids who wore tshirts and sweatpants every day that were outliers and vice versa. Scary to think how us kids just learned how to judge each other before we even knew what we were doing. I am glad I unlearned that, but ir was hard. I blamed myself that I did not have nice clothes, and in turn did not belong amongst people well dressed. I started ballroom dancing and you need to dance in nice clothes and I bought some, but it doesnt feel right to me. i am a culinary grad now working towards an bachelors degree, working two cooking jobs: During the day I am wearing old tshirts, my one pair of work pants, work shoes and a hat, then I come home and shower and put on nice dance clothes and either go to a lesson or go out dancing….. the way I look is day and night.
📣📣Economic assistance programs are subsidizing employers that don't pay employees a livable wage📣📣
Also, thanks for making that first point about being wasteful. I've been trying to transition to low waste and it is EXPENSIVE. Corporations need to beb more responsible for their carbon footprint (more than consumers)
I have soo many opinions on the whole “overpopulation” arguments against poor people wanting children. To combat overpopulation we have to increase education and reduce the unwanted children conceived this way, not stigmatize people for wanting a big family.
I don’t want children of my own tho.
I remember being a cashier in college and having a Hispanic lady with three kids pay using WIC. When she left, the middle class white lady with one kid behind her said offhandedly that she wouldn’t be so poor if she’d stop having so many kids. I’m ashamed to this day that I didn’t put that lady in her place for the comment!
Now imagine this.......it's a STATUS SYMBOL now to have one person working and a few kids. I got 2 words for you......Home Simpson. That show is THIRTY YEARS OLD!!! Homer was supposed represent the AVERAGE JOE! The MIDDLE CLASS!!! You know, have one of those MINIMUM WAGE job things we are NOT SUPPOSED TO LIVE ON. However, NOW we [would] actually consider Homer Simpson RICH.
Homer Simpson was working class, not minimum wage. And in the nineties when the Simpsons was originally aired, women were at work. It just dawned on me - The Simpsons was an updated version of The Flintstones.
When was the last time when a not college educated working class person in the US could afford a decent house with enough bedrooms for all their kids with their salary? And while Marge occasionally works, she doesnt really have a career. So yes, The Simpsons is vintage in that you need to be upper middle class at least to afford that lifestyle without privilege or massive debt
On the coffee thing I have a friend that always complains about how they’re not going to be able to pay bill but gets a large starbucks everyday and often twice a day. I’m also broke (I work two jobs to make things work) and I also occasionally treat myself to a large fancy hot chocolate, I don’t see a problem with treating yourself even when you’re poor, but a $5.75 dollar large Frappuccino every day for 30 days comes out to $172.50 every month. So yeah I think everyone deserves to treat themselves but it becomes a problem when you can’t pay the rest of your bills
I've just found your channel, and I appreciate your nuanced take on attitudes towards economically-disadvantaged people. Something I noticed while working in public libraries, is the notion that if you're not wealthy, then all your time must be dedicated to finding work, improving education, or getting to the next economic level. Toy drives are replaced with backpack drives; classes on crafting (even functional crafting such as embroidery, crocheting, knitting and woodwork) are replaced with resume workshops; anything "cultural" (fiction book groups, art appreciation, gardening) is replaced with interview skills, study skills and test practice. There's this pervasive attitude that poor people (especially children) aren't allowed to have fun or relax, and it's genuinely dehumanizing.
This! Great point
I remember speaking to a wealthy person while at a bar. He asked me about my job and I told him it was cool but the commute was taxing. He looked me dead In the face and said
“ Why don’t you just get a car?”
I chuckled because I thought he was joking but he was dead serious. Then I was a bit insulted because how dumb do I look?
You can tell him to eat cake and leave.
Food stamps in some states have or tried to discontinue the purchases of seafood as well. No seafood for the poors!
That whole iPhone story Chelsea mentioned also reminded me of that infamous John Legend MacBook on the edge of the kitchen counter post where people were freaking out about it and basically said ‘when you’re rich you can afford to be careless about your technology that costs thousands of dollars’
Thank you. Being poor is not intrinsically a moral failing. I hope that those who are critical, especially in the case of child bearing, NEVER have to find out the hard way. May they remain naive.
This is my favorite video (so far!). It is so frustrating to see the double standards of behavior and I love how you rip into those and back it up with research. It basically boils down to dehumanizing "the poors."
It's Nice to see how she improved in being more confortable with The camera, and just fells more natural recently.
And the way she is grounded in her comments and observations also improved (was already good, just got better than it was).
Congratz ^^
Knowing what we now know about the Duggars and their oldest child’s habits they should not have been allowed to have ONE child, not NINETEEN
Whoa. So many truth bombs I needed to hear. I never realized I had so many prejudices when it came to the working poor. What an eye-opener. I’m really grateful for this.
Just stumbled onto your channel and I really appreciate the frank conversations you have about finances. It's so refreshing, especially these days, to hear someone discuss class so honestly. I look forward to more videos!
Hands down, one of your best videos to date.
Another one you missed is speaking multiple languages. Awesome when you learned French at your posh high school, but looked down on when you're an "immigrant" who learned English as a second language. Goes the same with accents. Why are some accents "fancy"? There's literally no objective difference between accents
And this is why we love Chelsea.
Oh my gosh, not being over the top stressed out whenever a device breaks or a check engine light, or even just a car maintenance light comes on is just an out of this world dream for me. I have literally never been able to afford to conduct regular vehicle maintenance.
Thank you for this video. I agree about everything that you said. Especially with the smartphone/tech one. Especially during the pandemic smartphone is more important so many children can't study properly because they don't have their own personal gadgets. Also for vaccine registration and information spread in general. I see people talk about how wasteful is sachet packaging, for some people that's what they can afford. Many people pointing fingers like they know everything, but they have no idea how's other people circumstances.
Yeah and when Boomers and Silent Gens say oh those Millenials are always on their phone......are we just gonna ignore the fact that phones do more than just call people now????
All of my textbooks are online now, and my hw and tests. Even in our f2f courses, we do everything online. While my college has been stellar at providing school laptops and other supplies to students, I know that that is a privelege in it of itself. A few college friends at other schools saw no accomodations. Some lived in apartments with bad or no internet, so how does one complete their coursework? The school said welp, I guess you will have to unenroll……
True! Plus, you’re able to call your social worker, finds jobs, learn skills, find support/community online, and the notes app can help with making lists and journaling. All of these are so important.
Chelsea thank you so much for this video and the point about children was spot on, and a message that should be heard more.
@The Financial Diet haha
Chelsea, you're a bad ass. I love this! Thank you for speaking the truth!
and this is why i subscribed. you are awesome. it is so hard to find people who speak of money matters in an empathetic way!
Yes! I have heard all those smug criticisms of poor people’s behaviours. Thank you for pointing them out in such a clear and engaging way.
👏🏻 Wow! This is a fantastic analysis of our current society as a whole! All the examples you mention reinforce that the issue is not your behavior, but your status. You can do or be whatever you want, as long as you're wealthy enough to not be hated. And vice versa.
It's a more discreet cast system, since there's also not much social mobility. Money replaces titles. Anything else is irrelevant.
This was actually really insightful! Growing up my cousins always had video game consoles and I would be so jealous as my single mum wouldn’t buy something like that for me. I always perceived our family as poor because of that. Though, I had the privilege to go on vacations and go out which cost money. It has really changed my perspective. Thank you for sharing this insight!
I read “Bridges out of Poverty” in grad school. It really helped my frame my reaction when clients made choices that did not make sense to my middle class mindset.
Im actually internally screaming this but you are the only channel about money that actually resonates with me because your lived experience can be felt in every phrase. It's real content.