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I was doing a "trick or treating for the food bank" charity event back when I was in university, where students would get dressed up in costumes and go door to door with the kids, asking for canned goods instead of candy for our local food drive. We got to one neighbourhood with big houses, like 3 car garages, and the people there would first sneer at 20-somethings being out on Halloween, then begrudgingly give maybe one can of soup. Later on, we reached a student residence. They pretty much emptied out their pantry for us. If that doesn't demonstrate just how much more likely those who have little themselves are to donate to others in need, I don't know what will.
My first thought is that the people living in those big houses didn't have canned goods. Usually canned food is either low quality or require work to use it for cooking, if they didn't mind to spend a lot, probably they prefered to order pre-cooked meals in services like Uber Eats or in one of those subscription services that send you your meal every day.
One of my dearest family friends is "old money" wealthy, but she has perspective on life since she's disabled and also works in child psychology. She always checks in with me and my family to make sure we're doing well and loves to host parties with us so we can enjoy her beautiful home. I feel so lucky to have a good friend that can show humanity and kindness, despite her upbringing. Some people truly are one in a million
I have a good friend who is old money/trust fund baby and is a surgeon who works hard and obviously not for the money. Stereotypes don’t fit everyone thankfully
@@TB-rx1ue Yep there’s always exceptions to the rule (hence the word exception). For instance: Mr. Westinghouse is notorious for creating the 5 day work week, ensuring employee health coverage, giving them a place to live, & a wage they could live on…all during the industrial revolution when “workers rights” wasn’t even a term & work was aplenty so almost all robber barons treated their employees like SH*T. His employees never boycotted & most stayed throughout their working lives.
I feel like the old money are better able to raise their offspring (although they don't always do it), it's like institutional knowledge of sorts. I always dread dealing with the nouveaux riches more than aristocrats and the like.
I come from very old money like before the states was independent of Britain. My parents were are shitty people. I was born with a lot of health problems. I was constantly told what an economic drain I was with every doctor visit, by people who hold millions in stocks. Now that I finally have access to my trust fund I’m getting medical help to find the cause and treat it instead of just patching up the symptoms. I told my mom how can I get a job if I’m this sick. She said well you better work so you can afford doctors. They couldn’t wait to kick me out. My sibling was an asshole as they were the healthy normal child, so my parents loved them. However now they came out as trans and have been rejected by my parents. It was sobering now they are more compassionate and I have a relationship with my sibling. My parents are confused why we hate them.
Having been poor all my life I can verify that whether money buys happiness or not (can't tell you from personal experience), it does reduce unhappiness.
I disagree .. my financial struggles to just provide the basics, has brought so much stress and anxiety that slowly evolved into depression and insomnia.. I would be so much happier if I did not have to stress everyday working while studying just to barely afford basic pills, food and gas
Same here. I have had patches of okay finances and a good place to live. These days are pure hell in all directions. Poverty with no way out, health issues with no access, no way to settle. Hate moving day?.... try having it every day. Hate pain?... live with it.
@@pinkjellybean6932 getting just enough money-- that is, without destroying your life-- would make an enormous difference. I have worked those low end insane stress jobs and they are just another form of poverty.
As someone with well over half a million dollars in assets, I can assure you it doesn't reduce unhappiness. The problem with having a lot of money is now you're always afraid of losing it; especially since I grew up on welfare for several years.
I have noticed the poor tends to tip more, when they go out to eat, because for some of them it is a special occasion. With the wealth it is just tuesday and they desire to be served.
Those from the broad middle and other working classes are more likely to have worked waitstaff, fast food, retail, grocery stores at some point and with any sense tip well and are less problematic customers. We've been there or are there, and see students, moms, between goal jobs, laid off, needs additional income.
The opposite. I notice the poor barely tip because it is excusable and they need to direct the money towards more of their needs. The rich tip generously because they acknowledge being served and don't act deservedly. Oh look, see how information is different when you make sweeping claims with no evidence?
@@itsgonnabeanaurfromme You've got a point; I understand now better than then the sort of constraints faced by a man whose usual breakfast was one to two dollars depending on whether he got coffee and carefully tipped around 10 percent.
@@NeptunesHorses5909 I'm a zillion years old, from immigrant parents and have at one point worked in retail, food service and factories and wish there was a way to make everyone work in one or all of those.
The richest I have ever been is middle class, but when I was a kid, the other adults made it very clear that we had what we did because they were smart people who went to school and followed the rules, and that people who had less were either unintelligent or poorly behaved. It wasn't until I became an adult and tried to make it on my own that I realized they were wrong: smart, conscientious people find their way below the poverty line all the time. Those experiences gave me a lot more empathy for other poor people than my middle class relatives
How someone can think that someone is poor because he somehow deserves it is beyond me and so easy to say when you made it yourself. I would love to know their opinion if they hadn't been successful.
The thing is that if they were to believe something else, they'd have to accept that the consequences of their actions might have terrible outcomes for others, and that they might have made immoral decisions because they are bad people. No billionaire should have a clean conscience. If they do, it's because they have dehumanised the people around them, in order to not cave under the guilt they _should've_ felt knowing what had to happen for that money to be in their accounts. There's a reason why you don't see Bezoz crying over the ground floor employees that die on the job, there's a reason why he's against a unionised workforce.
I think shades of this ARE true. Yes luck is a component but poverty is also and to a great degree a mindset, a collection of behaviors they deploy. I grew up relatively poor in a largely upper middle class area and married someone that grew up in dysfunctional poverty around mostly poverty. We have VERY different outlooks on society.
@@perthfanny3017 I don’t think anyone deserves being poor but I do think many are poor because of the habits and manner they walk thru life with. Poverty IS a mindset, more than anything else.
I've always felt distrustful of anyone who doesn't have to take care of the mundane aspects of their own lives. It's one thing to have enough money to pay for help with house cleaning or to order takeout or to hire help with child care. It's entirely another thing to be so rich your food just appears in front of you when you are hungry, and your bathroom trash can seems to empty itself without you having to even think about how that happens, and you have complete freedom over your schedule because your kids' three nannies have you covered 24/7.
Yess!! On nanny Reddit one family had a job listing for two nannies for 60/hrs a week! A lot of kids are only awake about 72ish hours a week for context.
@@GloballyGorgeous715 SMH. I've seen jobs in the wealthiest US counties where one nanny/cook/laundress is expected to work 80 hours per week for what amounted to $3/hour. Well below minimum wage because their room and board could be legally factored into their employee compensation, plus domestic work doesn't have the same labor protections. No nanny wants to live with the shitty parents, but the commute plus 80 hours would be impossible.
@@itsgonnabeanaurfromme it’s basically because they’re not routed in a world where the majority of people live. Have you ever asked a rich person to solve a problem? It’s literally “oh I’ve never gone through that but I’m sure you can just call someone and *have them figure it out for you*” (aka just throw money at the problem) it’s like they don’t have to consider peoples emotions, peoples humanity or anything because they’ve been able to buy their way out of it. They think pull yourselves up by your bootstraps is an applicable philosophy for everybody and every thing.
@@GloballyGorgeous715 seems like a strawman argument with cartoon characters. Rich people who buy their way out of a problem and don't consider emotions or humanity? Who are you talking about? Most people in the comments make things up to push this narrative. I've never met people like this in my life. Yes, I have interacted with poor and rich people before. I live in a third world country where there are big class divides in wealth. And rich people can still solve a problem when they need to and the rich and poor can still call someone for a task when the task is not something they know how to do. That's how logic works.
As a class-jumper myself, this explains so much of my own struggles to get along with people I work with -- they don't cooperate, they compete, and it's been a very lonely existence trying to find other kind minded folks.
Same here. I do my best and feel my best when me and my team get along and are working on the same page. But I'm just surrounded by those who are extremely competitive, it's like, chill we are just colleagues not competitors. We can help each other grow, we don't have to be enemies.
I've got the same experience at college. it's REAL. The ultra rich are so polished and well rounded but they are unable to connect with others, only superficially like clothes food and expensive trips. where I share struggles with other Middle to lower lower class and develop friendships because we help each other grow
@@AmandaabnamA; Sure, it's that the Reason that PASTORS and People Who "Work" BEGGING EVERY WEEK FOR MONEY in the "Christian" Churches So they Can Live like KINGS & QUEENS don't want Spiritual Freedom?? Do they rather be in their PRISON MANSIONS?? LOL, ha, ha, ha.
Money is a magnifying glass for character - if you are good you will be better, if you are bad you will be worse. It shows true personality more easily
Unfortunately that's not true. She spoke about the inverse relationship between wealth and empathy. I've seen that in my own family as my father's wealth has increased substantially over the years.
I agree selectively. It can amplify your best and worst qualities but the attitude of your peers helps. If you choose to surround yourself with decent thoughtful people you behave better. The difference is that money buys power and you have to be aware and use it judiciously. I have friends considerably more wealthy than me because they chose professions like law and I did social work. I also have friends from middle and working class backgrounds But I have a considerable safety net that friends with less privileged backgrounds don’t. I try to choose my peers based on shared sensibilities on thing like equality
I once had a discussion with a CEO wife about social inequality and privilege. Bottom line she told me I should travel more and get to know these "underprivileged" people I'm referring to because, I kid you not, her gardeners come from five different countries and they wouldn't concern themselves with such things.
Re children who grow up wealthy struggling emotionally in adulthood - I am witnessing this play out with a new colleague. They are 21 years old, grew up in exceptional wealth in an upper class family and, for lack of a better word, was obviously spoiled rotten at home. It's causing issues in our team because any amount of constructive feedback, no matter how sugar coated and diplomatically delivered, is too much and is met with this person taking on that feedback as a direct existential threat. I can't help but think that it's a result of this person being in a position of power their entire life in every single social interaction they have had. Like, we cannot even raise the most basic normal things with them. We cannot bring any mistake they make to their attention, because if we do, we lose an entire day of her going around from worker to worker, bitching and crying and complaining about how mean everyone is to them with them calling in sick the next day. One incident the other week was this person taking another colleague into an empty office to berate, yell and cry at them for rejecting their facebook friend request. Like, what the actual fuck?! It's absolutely exhausting and infuriating because this person is proving impossible to work with, but also impossible to train. They're 21 years old and have been in our office for 4 months.
That doesn’t sound like a wealth problem it sounds more like an emotional maturity problem and she needs some therapy to work on people skills and some strong mentors to truly guide her.
The obvious course of action would be to fire this worker for failing to effectively execute their duties. The termination would be more than justified. People are routinely fired for far more trivial things.
My mom was born into a rich family (my grandfather owned a company) and they hired a few helpers for the home. A helper for housekeeping, a helper to watch the children, a helper for the yard. And so on. Now, my mom is an overly anxious and hypochondriacal narcissist. She lacks empathy.
I came into wealth in middle age when I already had a strong network of friends. The biggest stressor is feeling obligated to help my friends who aren't doing as well while balancing expectations and keeping relationships healthy: I don't want relationships to be solely about my friends telling me about struggles and me defaulting to judging whether those struggles are worthy of me giving them money. Parents deal with this all the time: how much do I let my child struggle vs. helping them? The problem is, they're my friends, not my children. And I have to say, it can leave me feeling "god-like" (ugh, barf) knowing that I could write a check and their problem would just disappear. And it also leaves me feeling callous when I don't do that.
I have the same question as Foougie TV. Are they open to learning? I wonder if they assume that you're gate keeping? Or have the displayed a sense of not wanting to put forth the effort?
@@6InchTruth Gatekeeping is absolutely something I do. Very few of my family and friends know how much money I have. (Also, I'm not someone who buys expensive stuff to show off. Most folks would assume I'm just a regular Joe.) As for particular examples: one friend is someone who's not a saver, but also not a profligate spender. They don't make a lot of money, so there's not much fluff in their budget to cut out. Fortunately, they don't spend into debt, but between their relationship with saving and their limited income, the savings just aren't there for all that stuff that life throws at you every so often. It makes life hard in ways I've never had to deal with because even when I was poorer I always had enough in the rainy day fund.
@@greg_216 How did you come into wealth? Do you think your friends would be interested? Maybe have a business brainstorm session... Give them book recommendations... Stock tips... Links to some helpful YT vids... I don't know, lol.
There is definitely a perception among the wealthy that if they don’t need the social connections to meet their needs, that means that they don’t need the lower class at all. I grew up middle-class-ish, but living abroad and then very poor with many roommates in my 20’s definitely gave me the perspective that we, all of us, live in an interconnected and interdependent community. COVID has only made this more stark. Our society is built on the backs of overworked, underpaid wage labor. That isn’t some Marxist philosophizing; it’s a physical reality. Our society needs to be structured in a way that protects and reinforces this base, not make it as cheap as possible under the assumption that exploitable labor is infinite and interchangeable.
The problem is freedom... if people have the ability to choose their own path, many will choose ones that are less lucrative. Its really that simple. Most people can go to school and choose a career that pays well, but they dont because its not where their "heart" or passion is, so they dont. But then act surprised when their passion doesnt pay well or pan. Teachers are one of the few places where i advocate for higher pay
I'm interested in how you bought up money as an addiction. Compare how society treats people who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs or gambling or what have you, against someone who is addicted to accumulating more cash. If you were to imply that Insert Billionaire Here was addicted to money, tons of people would run to point out that they're just "highly motivated" and "innovative", and there's nothing wrong with that. Back in my retail days, I encountered some "highly motivated" and "innovative" drug addicts.
I married into a very wealthy family. And for at least one member, it’s never enough. He has such a distorted perception of his own massive wealth, that he will take huge risks in order to accumulate more and will basically ignore family/social needs to keep working and find the next way to grow his wealth. And like, he’s got this insane safety net so even if he looses he will be able to re-grow and risk again. He’s worth 10s of millions but he identifies as middle class which, totally blows my mind.
As someone who has lived most of their childhood in an apartments and following my mom into food banks I noticed that the world punishes you for being poor. I can't tell you how many times people have been rude to me and has made my mom cry and these were mostly in donation centers and churches. I am also including people who are in the same boat as you economically, they will also treat you terrible, if not, worse. I feel like we should stop romanticizing poverty and try to bring people up to the middle class through education and financial education with those two together I guarantee things will be better.
I work with a bunch of MAGAts of varying ages and backgrounds and the shit they talk about people being lazy or not wanting to work despite being in the same brackets as these aforementioned people is astounding. We're all in service industry jobs making the same amount of money and there's this massive cognitive dissonance. We got this one guy in his 60s who grumbles on an on about "slackers" and how he's been working for 50 years...he's slower than all of us and he doesn't know where anything else is, yet is demanding on other people to include his work in theirs.
I worked at a luxury resort in undergrad. Served millionaires and billionaires at their catered parties. Some of the saddest, loneliest individuals you’ll ever know. No thanks. 😊
Those who go to stereotypical rich people shit, are normally fucking losers anyways. What do you expect. Most rich people do normal human shit. You dont even realize their rich most of the time. Not because their tryna be humble or anything. They were just passionate in their field, waited for oppurtunity, jumped at it without much thought, and just ended up wealthy. They do the same shit we do. People simply OVERTHINK. OVER WORRY.
@@Cocoisagordonsettertrust issues is a big one. Epstein and Diddy shows how dark things can get if you’re invited to a party. Every industry has these controllers, from DC to Wallstreet to Riyadh.
That is how I feel most people who gwt rich get flashy trashyband like sex parties and sleeping around look how Madonna acts no thanks do not want that.
I am a truck driver. People in luxury cars (BMW ,Mercedes, lexus) are the biggest piles of garbage on the road. Also Subaru drivers seem to think they are not subject to the rules of reality.
This is super interesting. I come from the upper class and my wife comes from the lower class. We’ve had huge fights that were essentially cultural miscommunications because we both were raised in such different environments. Like, I always believed in hiring someone to help move homes with you because you wouldn’t want to be a burden by asking a friend (and odds are they’d find a reason not to help, anyway). But she would help you move because then you’ll help her move.
Being raised in a military family long enough and dealing with multiple moves… I would and will never ever let anyone move my stuff and I will never ask any friends to help either. It’s my stuff and it’s my task to deal with.
I come from a lower class background and I'm now middle class. I feel like I am constantly making this observation... middle and upper class people do not help each ogher in this way. And it's very gross. Then they express amazement when there is a natural disaster in like Louisiana and poor people will try to feed their whole neighborhood. Because lower class people have more empathy.
@@acivilright With my old rich roommates, they used to ask me to pay rent when my friends came over. Rich people have such a skewed perception of the world because they got rich by stepping all over people.
@@acivilright This stuff starts in childhood. I was not allowed to help buy classmates food because “it’s not my money and I’m taking advantage.” I’m lucky I got my head screwed on a lot better in college because I met people from a bunch of different background.
What about MrBeast? He's very rich and he does a lot of fun challenges for people to win money in. I've seen and heard nothing but great things about him, especially from people who participated in his challenges.
@@sarveshmohite-khadakpada8416 This is why I don't like videos like this. You shouldn't generalize a group of people based on their class. Not all rich people are jerks, and likewise, not all poor people are nice. Trust me, I've had an experience where I was at a food joint with my friends, and a homeless man who walked inside was being very rude and loudmouthed. An employee told him to leave the store for his disruptive behavior. I applaud her for handling it professionally. Yes, the man wanted a bag, but because he was being rude and cussing about it, the employee wouldn't acquiesce. If the man asked nicely, he would've gotten his bag. Rich or homeless, there's no excuse for being an a-hole.
I know someone who used to work for several extremely rich families and the things that these people thought were okay to do and or say are so absurd I couldn't even imagine.
Poverty is a choice made for others by those that it has never affected... Social programs are not handouts... They are investments in then success of the country... The more sucessful it's people the more productive the country... Then insane profits made by corporations are not made by the CEOs or the owers or the stakeholders... the wealth of a company is generated by it's employees... productivity and profits have skyrocketed... wages haven't budged... Employees are getting nothing in return for the wealth they are generating... We work harder and longer and are more productive then any other country and don't even get to reap the results of our labor... at this point it's basically slavery with extra steps...
a problem with the luxury car experiment is that researchers were not able to assess people's economic backgrounds accurately solely based on the car you drive. It's possible that people that value luxury cars (maybe going into debt to obtain them) and who like to flaunt wealth in public are the assholes in general
Yeah, a better experiment would've been one that controlled for that. Additionally, someone who is willing to go into debt for a car would most likely demonstrate the same risky behavior while driving. Meanwhile, someone who can afford a luxury card without issue would partake in risky driving behaviors because they can pay for tickets as well as any damage they cause to another car if they were to crash. Different paths to similar behavior.
Isn't a causal relationship in the other direction also quite likely? Like being less generous and more willing to take advantage of others probably increases your chances of acquiring wealth right?
There's definitely some truth to that. I worked for a company where all of the senior staff independently did the "Is my boss a psychopath?" quiz and found out about it over drinks...
@@eldermillennial2000 I also know plenty of people who are highly intelligent and skilled but who struggle in the workplace because they're not interested in kissing the boss's ass or cutting the throats of their colleagues to win social points. They're far more interested in getting the work done and supporting members of the team who are struggling. This tends to lead to them just getting ground down emotionally, not advancing, and seeking a new employer once the bullshit level just gets too high. I've been told my whole life we live in a meritocracy, but my life experience tells me something very, very different as I watch the kindest, most empathetic people in my life struggle the hardest.
It’s probably not a simple causal connection either way. If Not all assholes get rich, but being an asshole makes it more likely and easier (and it definitely does), and BEING rich decreases empathy and cooperative behavior, you’re going to end up with a group of people heavily skewed towards being awful.
When I got my first job that pay decent money, I entered the middle class. I started to lose empathy toward people less fortunate thinking if I can do it, why can't you? Even some of friends who work really hard and got out of poverty think the same way. The truth is that even though we were financially poor growing up, we were values rich because we had a stable family. There are many who are not so lucky. It's like I join another tribe (middle class) that was attacking my tribe (lower class) and join in attacking my original tribe with such a toxic mentality. Luckily, I realize how I was devolving and remember my values. Gaining money then losing your humanity just make you piss poor morally.
There's also the psychology of wanting to fit in with those on your new level by distancing yourself from your origins and also the fear of how precarious economic status can be
Money doesn’t buy virtue but it does make it easier to be virtuous, especially at the beginning. I’m glad you were able to turn yourself around ❤ I hope you’ve forgiven yourself for any infractions you committed while thinking the way you did. We are all human and we should give each other the opportunity to grow, I hope you’re giving this opportunity to your friends. Best, Stephanie
Power reveals. Wealth is power. And to always be up the top to never need to compromise to survive definitely doesn't help build character. Lack of accountability for poor behaviour is never good but especially those that get away with it.
When it comes to bad behavior, we are more likely to remember when we were at the receiving end than at the giving end. We need to be equally self-reflective at both ends. I think this is commonly known as "It's okay to do unto others, but not okay when it's done unto you."
A valid point, but in THIS instance the bad behavior is birthed & protected by wealth. If you don't have wealth, you have to interact with people more. According to the studies mentioned, interacting with people is what cultivates societal bonds & empathy. The non wealthy COULD be cruel, but they do so w/o the protection and lack of consequences of non wealthy.
I grew up poor in a wealthy college town (my mom chose to spend more than she should on rent for the better schools). I learned that money can make life convenient but it didn't make kids happy. Oh sure they had the expensive stuff but didn't have attentive parents which they wanted. Now I am not saying all wealthy people are bad parents, but what I saw growing up cured me of being envious.
I wonder how much of this is cause/effect. Antisocial traits are also the traits that are economically rewarded. Being willing to exploit others, believing you are entitled to success, and not care about other people are excellent ways to achieve financial/business success
@@honkhonk8009 "Exploiting others is overexaggerated" I would say it is a blue moon situation where achieve success without exploitation succeeds It's a game theory problem: If Im willing to 1) Pay below a living wage 2) Pay workers a smaller share of the value they produce 58% (current) instead of 66% (historical average) I can generate more capital to then buy out companies that generate less capital. Ex. I can only think of ONE fast food company that has succeeded while treating people right and that's Chic-fil-a. In retail Costco would be another example. You've got most companies exploiting people and you've got the blue moon event that's Costco
@@honkhonk8009believing you will achieve success =/= believing you are entitled to success. Being entitled isnt good, it creates pathetic humans. Exploiting others isnt exaggerated, exploitation of others is quite literally what makes the entire careers of the white collar rich. You wrote that comment only for it to be entirely wrong
This video came at a great time for me personally as I was mind-boggled by some extremely wealthy people recently... I am a photographer for a studio that occasionally does a high-end wedding. I was on one of those high-end luxury weddings in NYC. Everyone was so extremely wealthy and the feeling of having some kind of disconnect with them was very palpable. When speaking to some of them it was first of all hard to get their attention, then it was as if they were looking past me, instead of engaging. However, some were very sweet! But there definitely was that disconnect. It was quite a shocking and strange experience. Also, most brides, grooms and their families follow the itinerary for the day so we can get everything from portraits to family pictures covered. These folks, however, even though They hired Us, would not cooperate, would not be asked to do anything, and quite firmly made their own rules for everyone and everything.
I thought it was maybe my imagination, but I just recently moved to a wealthy area of the city and I've observed what you're talking about with people with good cars. I even have had to tell my son to be more careful around people who are driving SUVs. It's insane to me how little they care.
I find that in wealthy suburbs, if someone needs to get somewhere, they're driving. People (especially children and teens) may ride bikes or walk for leisure, but not for transportation. I feel like this is connected to wealthy people not looking for pedestrians as much. If you're walking for fun, you're much more likely to be on a walking trail or in a park than along a collector or arterial road. In less wealthy neighborhoods, you have a lot more people walking/biking/taking transit to work. Your family members and neighbors are doing it. So when you're driving, you look for pedestrians, because a) you're used to it, and b) the people you care about are walking.
i noticed this in driving in wealthy parts of my county. people in nicer cars just drive more recklessly and they will cut people off because they think that they have a priority.
There was a study done on this exact thing. People with luxury cars break more rules than people driving non-luxury cars. It was fascinating. But, yeah, they don't care.
On point, as usual ! It reminds me of my in-laws. I come from a lower-middle class family and my husband's family is "hillbilly rich", if that's a thing. They don't believe they are rich though, even when my brother-in-law was able to crash a Corvette into a telephone pole with absolutely no consequences whatsoever. (:confused Mona emoji:)
I consider it a shibboleth when rich people say the exact phrase: "We're not rich! Now, we're not hurting ... " For some reason, that exact phrase comes out of the mouths of the most spoiled people I've ever known with total predictability.
I was always thinking that it's the other way around. People who become rich tend to follow certain rules to get there. They are less social, more frugal to the point of being greedy, and more goal oriented, regardless of means. Naturally, by the time they get there in terms of wealth, they don't see the need in changing. There behavior got them where they wanted to be at the end of the day.
Anyone who’s waited tables for a living is well aware of this. I worked in a restaurant near a church with wealthy parishioners and the servers fought to avoid the after church shift because the people were so insufferable and stingy.
That's often because they've had to give 10% of their income to the church. I know so many stingy people because they gave so much money to their church.... so ridiculous because who knows what that money is being spent on.
From my observations the friends I’ve had who have been more financially well off were typically LESS generous than those who were struggling with money. An understanding was usually made between friends of mine who were also financially struggling and we helped eachother out sometimes without expecting anything back.
Its smart not to give people money that are dumb with it. I wouldn’t reward someone doing extremely stupid things with my money but I will very substantially give to charities that help kids or others that got a bad dice roll. So I would say the generosity just comes with more intent and part of that intent is not wanting to throw good money after bad decision making!
@@lijohnyoutube101 so was i. Being generous is about giving not your pocket size, which is the point the original comment was making. That despite their financial difficulties, they still helped whilst the richer people tended to be stingy, even though they are in a better position to do something.
@@canesugar911 and my point was its not stingy, its just more intentional and to ensure your money is making a beneficial impact versus rewarding poor behavior.
I was born into a poor family in Australia. I have socially mobilised through the classes and married my wealthy husband- and his wealthy family. We owe no money on our property and neither of us have to work. I was a registered nurse and miserable. I decided to work in a supermarket instead. I love it. The way people speak to me, is disgusting, even though Most likely I am in a higher social class to them.
I often find that wealthy women or women who are being taken care of work in grocery stores. I'll see a woman working in the flower department with the biggest rock. That's because they can literally choose to do anything, like work part time somewhere lowkey, and not have to worry about living expenses.
One time at was at a fancy movie theater frequented by older rich people in the Philly suburbs, and as I was waiting in line at the concession stand, MULTIPLE people in front of me took it open themselves to go behind the counter and take what they needed because the line was taking too long.
In my experience, spending 10 years not having to look at a single price tag makes everyone unrecognizable. You can watch it happen live with rappers from poor backgrounds. Their debut album will have lines like "having money isn't everything, not having it is" and 10 years later they no longer think luck played any role in their life ever and their stardom was destined and also somehow everyone could do it too and it's the poor people's fault for being poor and all their songs are now just loose lists of brand names. Jay Z no longer has anything to say besides moaning about not buying real estate 10 years ago that he could sell for far more today.
"I coulda bought a place in Dumbo before it was Dumbo / For like 2 million / That same building today is worth 25 million / Guess how I'm feelin'? Dumbo" lol
@@marchingmoose2673literally that song 😂 amazing that he thinks its relatable to the average american owing tens of thousands in medical debt even with healthcare, tens of thousands in student loans, and who wont ever even own a one bedroom apartment
@@pheela Right???? Then the man had the audacity to go on and sell people who are still living in the projects where he was raised crypto. Like, those folks did NOT need a currency that many were already fearing by then would crash.
@@pheela he didn't write those lines to be relatable. He wrote them to show how a financially savvy person thinks. The average person is not financially savvy. Not everything has to be relatable.
Chelsea, thank you so much for touching base upon the emotional labor side of working service jobs again. While struggling with my own mental health and lacking access to proper Healthcare (at one point), some of the patrons at a former workplace who could EASILY afford having a therapist, who didn't even care to ask how I am doing, would make it a daily habit of dumping their negative emotions on me. They would come out of nowhere! Others had expectations of sexual nature. My manager at said previous workplace would encourage me to "befriend" said patrons and informed me that some complained about me not wanting to be friends. She had no issues pimping me while underpaying me!
more money can definitely make people disconnected and more callous than they originally were. But I think it's really crucial for people to understand that, by nature, capitalism rewards the most brutal and exploitative businesses and their owners, because it is a system based on competition and inequality. By design, the worst people rise to the top. "Money corrupts" is a backwards explanation for what we see. The reality is that evil deeds make profits. The things you have to do to become and remain super wealthy are inherently immoral because profit comes from exploitation. If you have two businesses that provide the same product or service, the one that gets more productivity out of their workers for lower wages gets to pocket more profit. This means they're going to be able to outcompete the other business because they can sell their good/service at lower prices until their competitor goes out of business (then raise prices when they no longer have competition). Essentially, the more adept a business is at exploiting workers - getting a lot of productivity out of them and pocketing most of the value they create- the more profitable it is. I'm glad we are seeing so much more discussion of wealth inequality in recent years, but these discussions tend to avoid the elephant in the room which is what capitalism fundamentally is: a class society in which a few people privately own the major productive resources that affect everyone (factories, land, natural resources - capital) and thus control the economy, and people who don't and thus can be taken advantage of by the first group. We don't know about truly kind super-rich people because, in the very rare event that a kind person becomes a billionaire (through inheritance or the lottery or something, idk) they would not keep all that money - they wouldn't remain super wealthy! Or they at least wouldn't use the money to start taking advantage of other people to increase their personal wealth. The billionaires who give away some millions a year in donations - these are a business expense to them and represent only a tiny portion of their wealth, which continues to grow. The donations are good PR and convince a segment of the population that we need an ultra-wealthy layer of people to fund private charities and such - when in fact these billionaires do everything they can to afford paying fair taxes that would fund better social services. We will keep talking in circles as long as we don't understand that inequality comes down to existence of private property (again, capital, the stuff that's needed to produce goods and services on a large scale - not personal property like your toothbrush, shirt, bed, etc). What we need is to take these productive forces into democratic public ownership and manage them with a democratic planned economy based on meeting human need, not making profits for a few. That's what socialism actually is (not just more welfare programs under capitalism).
Amazing comment. I hope lots of people read it! This was one of the best explanations of the inherent flaws of capitalism and the benefits of socialism in a non-emotional, factual way that I have ever read. If we could have more conversations based on these facts and not fearmongering and scarcity, our society would be in a much better place. But alas, it doesn't pay the mainstream media bills.
It is also a very weird experience to change class abruptly. My father, son of immigrant parents, was able to realize his "American dream" of wealth late in life. Monetarily, we are incredibly lucky and grateful. However, it also created chaos and then lasting damage in familial relationships. Anyone else have this experience?
Yes. My dad started resenting his side of the family for always coming to him for money. I'll even say, they grew up very poor but never went hungry. By his own words, "he was the most successful". He was a stingy man and never gave to others who weren't his immediate family and even then he was miserly. Not only that, but other family members will talk behind your back and call you names. It can get real nasty when the ENTIRE family isn't well off or comofortable. I've learned, when you come into money, your mindset has to change or you won't be able to keep your wealth for long.
3:53 Thank you! I'm so sick of people misusing the term emotional labor! It's not dealing with the mental load of who is doing the Christmas cards or who is ordering the plane tickets for vacations, Karen, it's a performative act of consistently portraying friendliness and cheerfulness when you just aren't feeling it, often to the detriment of one's mental health. It can have a seriously long-lasting impact on people, including making it harder for them to stand up for themselves, thus they often endure heightened levels of abuse and mistreatment that no one should experience.
Emotional labor has been bastadized into not wanting to spend time with your kids .... Even on her little comedic asides, Chelsea is SAVAGE with the accurate commentary.
If people get that option later than a choice on parenthood it's valid not to want spending time with children they never cared to have... it's upsetting to imagine people pressured into starting a family and unwanted children subject to caretakers
@@fionafiona1146 did those kids ask to be brought into the world?? How about instead of looking at them as something that came to ruin your life, see them as you are. None of you asked for the other, but they're here now. The least you can do is make it work. Don't blame the child who didn't even ask to be born and instead take accountability for having sex without taking the proper measures when you didn't want a child. That's like binge eating regularly and saying you don't want to be fat, absurd.
@@chisomo8088 Why shouldn't they get loving parents trough adoption or dedicated caregivers, even if those would need to be paid? Teaching sexEd, keeping contraception available and building social safety nets doesn't keep people from making choices that don't suit or the social pressure to do so. If this failure manifests in children living where they aren't desired anymore rethinking is a valid option.
@@fionafiona1146 please never have kids, moron. Who am I kidding? No one would even want to have kids with you Also, liking your own comments is cringe
Sometimes I go to the fancy and expensive grocery store in my town and that’s the only parking lot I ever get cut off and sped around. It’s cut throat there!-because everyone feels like THEY have the right of way🙄
@@jennamarie8660 He's very big on youtube and does all these challenges where people have a chance to earn money. He's also a philanthropist who helped struggling communities across america and even helped struggling communities outside the country like Africa, and war-torn Ukraine.
My step dad delivered appliances to Paris Hilton once he said she was very nice to them. offered them beers and she actually tipped them really well! Lol idk if she’s in the pic just cause she’s rich rich 🤣
I think its because her parents betrayed her by paying some correlational school to fake kidnap her without her knowing. She said it was super traumatizing and the officers at that school got a kick at treating children like utter shit. So she said she never wanted to be dependent on her parents after that experience and wanted to make it herself on her own
I was friends once with this girl who would constantly say the most tone deaf things about almost everything, and never tip or never pay back her friends, bring things to parties when everyone else is, etc. she’d brag about how much money she has and how much she spent on furniture, clothes, whatever it is. I finally realized that every time I was around her, she was just talking down to me and basically just hanging out with me to try and make herself feel better about herself.
Loved the video. I think the link between wealth and depression could be caused by other factors eg. Wealthy people have greater access to healthcare and are therefore more likely to be diagnosed with mental illness.
This was a very thought-provoking video. I have no scientific studies, but when I was an Uber/Lyft driver, my most dreaded passengers were the very rich and the very poor. The most rewarding were solidly middle to upper middle class. It seems that having enough money to forget about it, but not become obsessed with it, leads to the most balanced mentality. I am recently coming out of a stage in life where I was listening to a ton of prosperity/law of attraction/hustle gurus. A key refrain amongst them is to (kind of) glorify the rich. Like, you can never say that the rich are (insert negative trait here) because, if you do, then you will never become rich. So people are brainwashed to never say anything negative about rich people out of superstition that this will prevent you from being successful. As an aside, I wonder if some level of psychopathy/anti-social mentality is correlated with wealth. It takes a certain amount of lack of empathy to push towards more and more wealth, not caring if your product or service is useful or if the customer will benefit or not, or if the planet will benefit or not.
I’ve been around major wealth but grew up poor. Dating a few VERY successful men has been eye opening. All are very smart, most are insecure and a few are sociopathic. They are all workaholics and nepos create mountains out of molehills and don’t know real problems. Than you for coming to my Ted Talk
In the early 2000s, I met a guy online named Cody. We were both looking for more than casual flings and sex and had been talking for months. Cody seemed to be using far away/blurry pics to hide his face. Maybe he was unattractive or lacking confidence, but I agreed to meet in person because he was generally a nice guy. At that time, I was pretty cute, but in my "give them a chance" phase. When we finally met in person, he was way better-looking than his pics. Like stunningly hot. And the physical chemistry between us so intense you could hear it bubbling. You know, when you look at someone else and you can feel the mutual attraction so intensely that it makes you both kind of fumble? Then, the date went nowhere. We had nothing to talk about because we lived completely different lives. It turned out he was hiding his wealth and his looks, presumably to protect himself from unwanted romantic suitors (in typical rich hot person fashion). To make things more complicated, he was also into Latino guys like me, but living in a city filled with rich white people. He knew he had to "slum it" to find the kinds of guys he liked. His family was loaded and he wanted for nothing, at a time where I had just dodged becoming homeless and was taking care of myself with no help. We couldn't talk about "life" and overcoming struggles, the things that had made us who we are, or anything with an ounce of depth. His contributions to the conversation were about how he want to upgrade to a newer car and what stores he liked to shop at. The guy was really into me and genuinely trying, but it was like he was stuck inside his own mind and trying to break free and be more than he ever could. I REALLY wanted to be into him, but it was like two people speaking in different languages. We had nothing in common beyond the freaking electricity that was traveling between our bodies. We both left the date realizing nothing was going to happen. I couldn't have ever been with that guy. I could not exchange my dignity for a hot jawline and a BMW just to be some vapid, rich guy's brown rescue puppy. I'm sure he found someone who would.
I’m not sure I buy the study about luxury car drivers. Not all luxury car drivers are rich, some may be living above their means. Not all rich people drive luxury cars. I think the correlation is more between the type of personality between a person who would drive a luxury car instead of rich people.
Grew up poor, recently became upper middle class in my country. My relationships didn’t change all that much, I was able to help my immediate family not worry about money and my mom achieved her dreams to travel to places like Italy and Egypt. I’m able to gift my friends the way I’ve always wanted, nothing fancy but I love it. With a bit of investing, I might not need to work anymore if I keep living the same way I did before, with a few upgrades. So far, so great, and I have people in my life that are going to tell me if I become an asshole.
This video isn't about you. Its for the wealthy, not successful. This isn't meant as an insult; I'd happily take being "successful/comfortable/secure'" . You're in a good spot, but you're not buying your 3rd private jet. That's the kinda money she's discussing. Keep being successful!
I worked at an impound lot and by far the worst people to deal with were the luxury car drivers. Most were doctors or lawyers. Their kids were also assholes. We have a law school here in town.
In any customer service job, doctors and lawyers are the worst. How do you know they're a doctor or a lawyer - they will tell you. overcompensating PHD' s are bad, too.
Yes, and let's not fall into the noble savage trope, i.e assuming that poor people will have a better personality because they're not corrupted by wealth. It think it's easy to fall into that but it's irrelevant for most debates and distracts the attention from other questions that matter more.
@@thegreat9481 and sometimes they feel just as entitled as rich people, just in different contexts. i.e: the poor might feel entitled to a rich person's money and demand that they donate to show that they are 'good people', and the rich might feel entitled to services and people's time. Two sides of the same coin.
both "rich" and "poor" people tends to be "assholes", one is never been told "no", and the other really stop caring about being told "no"s. one group can afford to lose pretty much anything, and the other group really has nothing to lose.....so
This video is amazing!! Thank you for putting it together. Coming from humble background and now living in a wealthy area, I now understand why I find there’s a lack of community, people kids are horribly entitled and rude as well as I feel sometimes very lonely.. I worked so hard to be able to live there but found myself wondering why I aspired you this in the first place. What makes you happy are the healthy social connections and sense of purpose.. not being alone in a sea of wealthy entitled brats.
So true my uncle came to a Thanksgiving party along with other family and he told me about his earnings of 40 million a month and didn't understand why I can't buy a house buy a house with my boyfriend and everyone was shocked when I mentioned that my partner works graveyard at Amazon and only gets 1,500/month and that were homeless living with my parents with our baby. My uncle was like why don't you invest 5,000/month and I had to breakdown living cost and child cost to bring him to reality.
I can't stand those people whose first answer is to invest your money. When you barely make enough money to cover the cost of living, you're too mentally and physically and financially drained at all times to even consider investing. It's just laughable!
I'm curious about people who grew up poor who then start to make a lot of money. Are there any studies about those people? How they navigate social situations or work situations. I'll give you an example that's pretty personal to me: I grew up with parents who divorced when I was young. Both were just HS graduates with low paying jobs. I lived in public subsidized housing, and had reduced/free lunch through school. Money was why my parents divorced and it was always a sensitive topic. Now, as an adult, I have been amazingly fortunate to gain a well paying job. In the last few years, I've more than doubled my salary. But this puts me in a sort of Bizarro World. The people I work with, who I interact with, have absolutely *no idea* why I live in a bad neighborhood, in the city, driving an old car, wearing thrift store clothes, talk about my neighbors getting arrested, and complaining about the cost of gas and food. I made the choice to buy a house many years ago that fit my income bracket at the time. Now it doesn't match. The thing is, this all makes sense to me. But they absolutely cannot fathom that I am still worried about money, despite having a well paying job. I'm making up for at least a decade of home repairs that I struggled to afford previously. I don't have that Generational Wealth. I only got money recently. Yes, I make bank in comparison to just a few years ago. But I'm still playing catch up. I know others in my position end up paying for their lower income family once they hit the big money. But I'm not even doing that and I'm still looked at sideways by my peers at work for being cheap. It's wild. Anyway, that's a lot. And I don't even know what term to search for to research it. "New vs Old Wealth" is a bit extreme. It's more "Old Wealth vs. New High Income".
I once did a stint in customer service at a bank branch. I was in the management programme, and this was a mandatory rotation I had to do just to get an idea of how ground operations work. I noticed the vast difference in attitude that the premier customers (those with >$200k deposits with our bank, barely a large amount) had towards us. That level of entitlement was mind boggling. As someone who has a desk job, I really respect anyone in frontline/customer service work for being able to do this for years.
You don't become less empathetic. You just have to stop wearing a mask because you're wealthy enough to tell your servants to f*ck off if they don't serve you well. People that genuinely care about others' feelings don't suddenly change and become less empathetic (unless people keep trying to steal from them, that would make sense). If you're poor and not autistic (like me, I am in the Autism spectrum) you read people's faces better because you need to make the effort for your survival (or you lose your job or get a higher price when you are buying things at your local farmers market). You also need to present a better behavior and avoid speaking out your mind because otherwise people might even physically attack you. When you're wealthy you don't have to care about those things, so you can free yourself up from that fake persona or you just need enough of it to prevent a PR nightmare or "cancellation" if your public image is part of your business. In the end some of us are good, some are bad. The wealthy are just more free. Quick note: people who were born rich and never lived as a poor person can't relate to many things. That doesn't make them evil, they're just unrelatable because they never experienced what we do/did. You can't explain to someone how life is when you live with chronic pain if that person never went through it. We can't also empathize with them if we never experienced the other side. It's surely better but it involves a different perspective and you need to adjust to survive.
Let’s be honest. If someone is a good individual they aren’t going to move along. They’re going to listen, think about their actions, and make any changes if needed. The people moving along are those who think they’re nice but are really Aholes who refuse to see their actions as negative.
I grew up dirt poor as a kid in southern Mississippi but had a loving family. My family instilled morals and principles in me on the daily. Then some 10-15 years later, my family’s life completely changed as we literally became rich overnight (long story). However, the “pinching pennies” mindset towards money, and having good relationships/friendships with people hasn’t changed with my family and with myself. I’ve personally gone from “making ends meet” to becoming a business owner and experiencing financial freedom. I can tell you this: “it’s better having money than to do without.” And money cannot buy you happiness but it sure does override unhappiness and stress too. Praying that everyone finds a financial breakthrough for you and your family.
i just don't understand the stinginess of rich people. i have relatives on both ends of the financial spectrum and only my richest family member are the stingiest. i feel embarrassed for them, don't they understand that it makes them look bad. I'm not saying they have to spend hundreds of dollars on their extended family but something better than a box Costco cookies would nice for a housewarming present. lol.
They probably gain an inflated ego due to being rich. I'm sure everyone would have an ego boost if they were to suddenly become rich. They feel superior compared to others because they are a family that not a lot of families are. With a higher ego means they have a loss in empathy.
I think a lot of it is due to the mentality that you deserve more if you have more money or that you worked harder. If that's the case, why am I sharing it with these lazy people? It's a crap mentality but I think that's what it is.
Can’t not bring this up after you mentioned a six year old flying business, when I was an au pair I had the six year old I cared for genuinely tell me why he thought business class was better that 1st class. This is no word of a lie, it was years ago and I still think about it all the time.
not sure how this will get takes so I'll try and write it as transparently as possible. I'm lucky enough to be much wealthier than most in my country (Egypt) but still don't count as rich or obscenely wealthy by 1st world country standards (or even other wealthier Arabs) - and I try my best to not lose the sense of empathy & genuine human communal sense instilled in me throughout my life. But in a lot of cases here the separation between classes is hard to ignore. You made a point about eye contact and it made we think how I smile at service workers whenever I'm in Europe or the states but here if I do that they take it as an opening to flirt. Rich women tend to dress more "provocatively" and working class men will sometimes use their positions in fancy malls to just stare at womens thighs or stomachs. The other side aren't perfect either. I remember once I tried to help my nanny out by giving her an old iPad for her son, and later found her stealing my jewellery. I'm not trying to take away from your points at all, I guess I'm just saying there's assholes everywhere and sometimes wealth look different in different societies. I never want to be a spoiled entitled brat, but in Egypt sometimes if I'm not I get taken advantage of so much quicker and swifter. I see my privilege as a matter of fact, and try my best to help how I can. Is playing my part as a wealthy person hypocritical?
I was a peer counselor for a while a long time ago. I worked with some wealthy and rich children (court ordered in their case) and I went to school with some too and their parents were usually horrible. They had money, but they hardly ever saw their kids and when they did they generally substituted money for love and affection. The kids I helped generally were horribly neglected emotionally speaking. Their parents punished them out of embarrassment, not to teach them or even discipline them. They rarely acknowledged that their children were not okay. This didn't help their kids. Well off people can overdose and die while driving under the influence and their families can still leave them when it gets bad. It doesn't take away all consequences it arguably only leaves the worst ones.
My best friend from school is properly wealthy. He was born into wealth but his father earned it through merit and innovation. Credit to his dad who never let him use more money than he should at young age. He had same bicycle a middle class kid would. No fancy stuff for you. He was sent to a govt school, while his father could've very easily afforded to send him to private school. He's decided to pursue his dad's business and he's every bit humble as he used to be. I guess you can stop it from happening if you're mindful.
I have once witnessed a little girl mistreating her Asian nanny. She couldn't have been older than 7 or 8 years old, but this girl was ordering her nanny around and calling her names for no reason. I almost wanted to video tape this behavior but I was so afraid of this little girl because she spoke with so much authority and had a facial expression of pure evil.
I think they just have inaccurate social connections as well. If they do have day-to-day contact with working people (employees, ex.) I think they can really think they are funny, tell great jokes, and everyone likes them because ... well, of course your employees all laugh at their damn crap jokes, if you are acting like a jerk they aren't going to tell you, and if you ask them for free stuff, they will feel obligated to smile and give it to you. Like you said, it's all about freedom from consequences.
The problem with being rich is even common hobbies seem like a flex to poor and regular people. Enjoy fine wine? That's a flex. Enjoy nice clothes? That's a flex. Enjoy collecting watches? Also a flex. Have a car collection? Go skiing? Go visit other countries? Etc. Etc. Like at what point is it just resentment from the have nots being misconstrued as the rich being "assholes?"
I used to work at the casino and the high rollers get better benefits such as superior dining options in terms of meal and seating arrangements. Well, one day my high roller room was full so I offered a table in the main dining room so these two high rollers wouldn’t have to wait. The older one scoffs and says “we have to sit with the common people?” And to think these are the people running the entire world 🙄 No wonder everything is disordered and chaotic.
Hey, just apropos of nothing, I love that you don't lay out this information like you're giving a lecture. Like the digression about the person in the hotel for some reason actually makes me feel like you're not shilling for something, you're just sincerely interested in sharing this information. Which is needed in this youtube financial advice space.
@@fa9183 that's kind of the point. In order to amass any level of wealth it takes a lack of empathy and a willingness to exploit the labor of other people.
Discussions around money/wealth and happiness or general life style always remind me of an old Kanye west lyric (do not stab his behaviour especially of late but I do think this specific lyric from the 00s sums it up orrery well)… ‘having money isn’t everything, not having it is’. Beyond a certain point money is a burden but that doesn’t mean that money doesn’t allow happiness/flexibility and essentials (and piece of mind that comes with having security in your domicile, food situation and health) so alas with all his issues Ye got this one right
I worked in the landscape industry for twelve years. Hiring someone to take care of your home or business garden is a luxury, so I ran into many very wealthy people. The wealthier they were, usually the more demanding and they would always try to get the lowest price possible, or ask me at the last minute to add in plants or something we had not agreed upon or paid for. One time, a client called me up yelling about how our crew cut the grass 1/4” too short. My answer? Wait a few days, it will grow back😆 I swear they all wanted golf course level turf without realizing how many crews, processes and water it takes to achieve that. Witnessed a lot of racist and prejudice towards our Hispanic workers:(
I used to work at a regional airport with several private jets being hangered full time for some wealthier company owners. The most disturbing behaviors I noticed from them was that they act as though everyone is their employee (even though we literally weren't) and their blatant disregard for others. The worst offenders are usually the children or grandchildren. It takes time to get a Gulfstream or even a Learjet ready for flight yet we would have them sometimes call 2 hours before they wanted to go on a week or month long vacation. Keep in mind there are other job functions that NEED to happen during that time as well and we didn't always have the man power. I mostly felt bad for the pilots who had to put everything on hold for that time just to please them. Simple appreciation appears to be alien to them, a simple please or thank you for example. Very disconnected from reality!
@@bbb_888 through one ear and out the other I guess. Also on paper 2 hours sounds like a lot of time but keep in mind there were only 2 guys pulling planes out of hangers and fueling everything on the airfield. Not to mention the flight planning and prechecks the pilots needed to do before every flight. On a slow day 2 hours might be fine but not if you have a busy schedule to keep.
Sad, but true, interesting video, this happens very often when rich children don't have good manners, their parents only teach them about money, but not respect, there are many cases like this, they don't value people for who they are, but for how much money they have, this is their real values in life, poor people or not so rich people are more human, most of the times, they have good manners, thanks so much for sharing.
Thanks so much for this video! Amazingly insightful, I had no idea this was a thing. It really is true how it's really about people living a consequence-free life and then, owing to their wealth, being able to get away with it. So the wealthy that *arent* jerks usually would be people who would have learned, in some capacity, what it's like to be on the receiving end of assholery, or attempted to be an asshole and received very real consequences to it. If someone never has to deal with the consequences of bad behavior, they'll become assholes. They'll never realize just how important it is to factor in other people's wellbeing in their decisions because they can always discard people and pay off a new one. And then they'll be too empty on the empathy department and stuck in their ways when they realize that they're damn depressed and can trust no-one, because bad karma begets bad karma.
Plenty of poor people drive luxury cars, they just live in a hovel in order to drive a luxury car so that people see them driving around in something expensive & they think they are rich. Plenty of lower socio-economic people are narcissistic, rude and entitled. It’s not just the rich. I’ve worked with plenty of people on the lower socio-economic scale while I was putting myself through college and I’ve noticed lower class people are much more entitled and vocal about “Me, me, me”. It’s all about them and what they want.
Great Video. I grew up poor but had some great opportunities to start a business and recently sold. Now I'm in the UHNW crowd... and yah.... Woof. It's a real culture shock. You should hang out by the reception area in Spas if you want to see some terrible behavior! All my friends are still regular people. However, there have been some tears at that social fabric and I have fewer friends leading to occasionally feeling isolated and abandoned by my old lower income friends. I think there is an in group / out group behavior that each class constructs that doesn't lend well to mixing or empathy between the groups.
Love your video and the topic. There are sources linked to news outlets which your explanations are based on, the sources are displayed with a shortform in your video and listed as full links in your video description. So far this is pretty great, thank you! However, it would be even better if you could link and refer to the actual studies. Funny enough, articles of some news outlets you're referring to don't even link to the original study. Thanks for the video!
I had an ex who was childhood friends with a famous hockey player. When this NHLer was still single and at the top of his game, he constantly wanted his friends with him every time he travelled to away games. My ex was often invited to join and he said he even felt pressured to join the entourage but he had to pay for his own hotel and expenses. Eventually he stopped hanging out with him altogether because he was going broke just trying to keep up with his ultra rich childhood friend. The grass wasn't greener, he said to me. Now that this player is retired, I sometimes wonder if they rekindled their friendship. And then sometimes I remind myself that I really could care less lol.
I definitely agree that rich people are more assholeish, but I do want to point out about that luxury car study that it could be due to other factors like having a high-performance engine increasing the desire to drive more recklessly or inconsiderately.
Empathy is a survival tool. Once you're rich you simply don't need it anymore as you can survive without others. At least your empathy will only be towards those that actually create value for your life.
Long story of how i got here, but 75ish percent of the people I interact with on a day to day basis have a net worth over 500K and are under 30 years old. It’s insane, INSANE cognitive dissonance that makes them so miserable. It’s the “why do I have everything but feel empty and worthless” for the exact reasons you talked about. That’s what people mean when they say “money can’t buy happiness”. It definitely can, but it can’t replace community and genuine human connection
When they became rich, they are unable to relate to anyone. Hence they felt to have the need to show people that they are still someone who knows and able to relate .
Weirdly, my wife grew up poor, and she didn't treat wait staff well at the restaurants I took her to. She was also shocked that I tipped the amount I did. She was trained by her parents to hold on to every penny and don't spend unnecessarily. She didn't go out much and nice restaurants were a luxury she never experienced up to that point. She told me the wait staff got paid well and were just hustling and pretending so they could just make more money. She really had no idea what the wait staff at most restaurants made per hour. I told her and she didnt believe me until I asked one of our waiters to explain it to her. She was shocked. 21 years later she runs her own business, quite successfully. She became much more generous to wait staff and much more friendly with them. She's so happy when we go to restaurants to be genuinely welcomed and taken care of. So, she was the reverse of what this video is about. Shes a great person, but she was sheltered and a bit naive when we met. I had to teach her to be generous. And now, she's better at it than I am!
I was born on hard drugs... Was taken home from the hospital by my foster family who ended up adopting me a few years later... They were upper middle class... I grew up pretty well... but when I became an adult and really started to struggle with a very serious mental illness they dropped me like a hot rock... and finally they completely showed their true colors during the pandemic... when after my father died... which no one bothered to even tell me about... then proceeded to disown, disinherit, and tell me to never contact them again after saying somehow I ruined their lives while I was homeless, eating out of dumpsters and almost freezing to death twice... But according to my eldest sister all I ever do is spread sadness and hate... I paid a mediator what was to me an enormous amount of money since I'm severely disabled and on at fixed-income... After which both my sisters found it extremely hilarious that I was such a POS... That ever paid mediator couldn't convince them to ever bother to talk to me again... Both my sisters own very nice homes, have very successful husbands and children... and they themselves have very well paid careers... I'm attempting to get my peer support specialist certification... because helping others through there struggles... Because helping people is truly my purpose, pleasure and passion...
Excuse me, but... what a bunch of a**holes. I'm very sorry that you had to go through such terrible times and I wish you all the best, don't let them bring you down!
4:53 because of my traumatic existence growing up, I've learned to literally read how people are feeling by simply looking at their eyes alone. And it amazes me how many people who had better childhoods lack that skill. I personally believe it's a trauma response.
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I was doing a "trick or treating for the food bank" charity event back when I was in university, where students would get dressed up in costumes and go door to door with the kids, asking for canned goods instead of candy for our local food drive. We got to one neighbourhood with big houses, like 3 car garages, and the people there would first sneer at 20-somethings being out on Halloween, then begrudgingly give maybe one can of soup. Later on, we reached a student residence. They pretty much emptied out their pantry for us. If that doesn't demonstrate just how much more likely those who have little themselves are to donate to others in need, I don't know what will.
"I donate not because I have a lot, but because I know what it feels like to have nothing." Or something like that. :)
Dang that had to get heavy real quick lugging all those cans! 😂
@@ashleylala4293 We had a team member in a car following our group. Kept taking the cans back to his trunk, so it wasn't that bad.
wealthy people would rather see food rot than see someone who has to work for a living get it.
My first thought is that the people living in those big houses didn't have canned goods.
Usually canned food is either low quality or require work to use it for cooking, if they didn't mind to spend a lot, probably they prefered to order pre-cooked meals in services like Uber Eats or in one of those subscription services that send you your meal every day.
One of my dearest family friends is "old money" wealthy, but she has perspective on life since she's disabled and also works in child psychology. She always checks in with me and my family to make sure we're doing well and loves to host parties with us so we can enjoy her beautiful home. I feel so lucky to have a good friend that can show humanity and kindness, despite her upbringing. Some people truly are one in a million
I have a good friend who is old money/trust fund baby and is a surgeon who works hard and obviously not for the money. Stereotypes don’t fit everyone thankfully
@@TB-rx1ue Yep there’s always exceptions to the rule (hence the word exception).
For instance: Mr. Westinghouse is notorious for creating the 5 day work week, ensuring employee health coverage, giving them a place to live, & a wage they could live on…all during the industrial revolution when “workers rights” wasn’t even a term & work was aplenty so almost all robber barons treated their employees like SH*T.
His employees never boycotted & most stayed throughout their working lives.
I feel like the old money are better able to raise their offspring (although they don't always do it), it's like institutional knowledge of sorts. I always dread dealing with the nouveaux riches more than aristocrats and the like.
I come from very old money like before the states was independent of Britain. My parents were are shitty people. I was born with a lot of health problems. I was constantly told what an economic drain I was with every doctor visit, by people who hold millions in stocks. Now that I finally have access to my trust fund I’m getting medical help to find the cause and treat it instead of just patching up the symptoms. I told my mom how can I get a job if I’m this sick. She said well you better work so you can afford doctors. They couldn’t wait to kick me out. My sibling was an asshole as they were the healthy normal child, so my parents loved them. However now they came out as trans and have been rejected by my parents. It was sobering now they are more compassionate and I have a relationship with my sibling.
My parents are confused why we hate them.
The rare people who deserve their wealth and don't become assholes.
Having been poor all my life I can verify that whether money buys happiness or not (can't tell you from personal experience), it does reduce unhappiness.
I disagree .. my financial struggles to just provide the basics, has brought so much stress and anxiety that slowly evolved into depression and insomnia.. I would be so much happier if I did not have to stress everyday working while studying just to barely afford basic pills, food and gas
Same here. I have had patches of okay finances and a good place to live. These days are pure hell in all directions. Poverty with no way out, health issues with no access, no way to settle. Hate moving day?.... try having it every day. Hate pain?... live with it.
@@pinkjellybean6932 getting just enough money-- that is, without destroying your life-- would make an enormous difference. I have worked those low end insane stress jobs and they are just another form of poverty.
Well said
As someone with well over half a million dollars in assets, I can assure you it doesn't reduce unhappiness. The problem with having a lot of money is now you're always afraid of losing it; especially since I grew up on welfare for several years.
I have noticed the poor tends to tip more, when they go out to eat, because for some of them it is a special occasion. With the wealth it is just tuesday and they desire to be served.
Agreed. Also having worked as a server in a restaurant, I tip at least 20% as a rule if I have decent service. It is a tough job.
Those from the broad middle and other working classes are more likely to have worked waitstaff, fast food, retail, grocery stores at some point and with any sense tip well and are less problematic customers. We've been there or are there, and see students, moms, between goal jobs, laid off, needs additional income.
The opposite. I notice the poor barely tip because it is excusable and they need to direct the money towards more of their needs. The rich tip generously because they acknowledge being served and don't act deservedly.
Oh look, see how information is different when you make sweeping claims with no evidence?
@@itsgonnabeanaurfromme You've got a point; I understand now better than then the sort of constraints faced by a man whose usual breakfast was one to two dollars depending on whether he got coffee and carefully tipped around 10 percent.
@@NeptunesHorses5909 I'm a zillion years old, from immigrant parents and have at one point worked in retail, food service and factories and wish there was a way to make everyone work in one or all of those.
The richest I have ever been is middle class, but when I was a kid, the other adults made it very clear that we had what we did because they were smart people who went to school and followed the rules, and that people who had less were either unintelligent or poorly behaved. It wasn't until I became an adult and tried to make it on my own that I realized they were wrong: smart, conscientious people find their way below the poverty line all the time. Those experiences gave me a lot more empathy for other poor people than my middle class relatives
How someone can think that someone is poor because he somehow deserves it is beyond me and so easy to say when you made it yourself. I would love to know their opinion if they hadn't been successful.
So true.
The thing is that if they were to believe something else, they'd have to accept that the consequences of their actions might have terrible outcomes for others, and that they might have made immoral decisions because they are bad people.
No billionaire should have a clean conscience.
If they do, it's because they have dehumanised the people around them, in order to not cave under the guilt they _should've_ felt knowing what had to happen for that money to be in their accounts.
There's a reason why you don't see Bezoz crying over the ground floor employees that die on the job, there's a reason why he's against a unionised workforce.
I think shades of this ARE true. Yes luck is a component but poverty is also and to a great degree a mindset, a collection of behaviors they deploy. I grew up relatively poor in a largely upper middle class area and married someone that grew up in dysfunctional poverty around mostly poverty. We have VERY different outlooks on society.
@@perthfanny3017 I don’t think anyone deserves being poor but I do think many are poor because of the habits and manner they walk thru life with. Poverty IS a mindset, more than anything else.
I've always felt distrustful of anyone who doesn't have to take care of the mundane aspects of their own lives. It's one thing to have enough money to pay for help with house cleaning or to order takeout or to hire help with child care. It's entirely another thing to be so rich your food just appears in front of you when you are hungry, and your bathroom trash can seems to empty itself without you having to even think about how that happens, and you have complete freedom over your schedule because your kids' three nannies have you covered 24/7.
Yess!! On nanny Reddit one family had a job listing for two nannies for 60/hrs a week! A lot of kids are only awake about 72ish hours a week for context.
@@GloballyGorgeous715 SMH. I've seen jobs in the wealthiest US counties where one nanny/cook/laundress is expected to work 80 hours per week for what amounted to $3/hour. Well below minimum wage because their room and board could be legally factored into their employee compensation, plus domestic work doesn't have the same labor protections. No nanny wants to live with the shitty parents, but the commute plus 80 hours would be impossible.
Care to elaborate why those people don't deserve to be trusted? Besides your general envy
@@itsgonnabeanaurfromme it’s basically because they’re not routed in a world where the majority of people live. Have you ever asked a rich person to solve a problem? It’s literally “oh I’ve never gone through that but I’m sure you can just call someone and *have them figure it out for you*” (aka just throw money at the problem) it’s like they don’t have to consider peoples emotions, peoples humanity or anything because they’ve been able to buy their way out of it. They think pull yourselves up by your bootstraps is an applicable philosophy for everybody and every thing.
@@GloballyGorgeous715 seems like a strawman argument with cartoon characters. Rich people who buy their way out of a problem and don't consider emotions or humanity? Who are you talking about? Most people in the comments make things up to push this narrative. I've never met people like this in my life.
Yes, I have interacted with poor and rich people before. I live in a third world country where there are big class divides in wealth. And rich people can still solve a problem when they need to and the rich and poor can still call someone for a task when the task is not something they know how to do. That's how logic works.
As a class-jumper myself, this explains so much of my own struggles to get along with people I work with -- they don't cooperate, they compete, and it's been a very lonely existence trying to find other kind minded folks.
Same here. I do my best and feel my best when me and my team get along and are working on the same page. But I'm just surrounded by those who are extremely competitive, it's like, chill we are just colleagues not competitors. We can help each other grow, we don't have to be enemies.
@@belletaunde102 i feel you. they don't get it
I've got the same experience at college. it's REAL. The ultra rich are so polished and well rounded but they are unable to connect with others, only superficially like clothes food and expensive trips. where I share struggles with other Middle to lower lower class and develop friendships because we help each other grow
Amen, yet they claim "teamwork " "leadership " etc...
I was at a whole foods in North miami and the people are entitles but also have this we don't want thes thugs near us. Such a muck rack
“Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.“
Let's make chocolate coin the universal currency
@@Boony-Bwa I don't really like chocolate... and that could get real messy real quick... let's make it hugs instead...
Thanks for sharing this quote it blew my mind!
This is a line from a powerful song by Aurora!!
@@caraspencer5669 it's an African proverb I believe... I don't right remember... lol
Money doesn't buy happiness but in a world built like a prison it's a tool that helps to gain your freedom.
Not spiritual freedom
@@AmandaabnamA; Sure, it's that the Reason that PASTORS and People Who "Work" BEGGING EVERY WEEK FOR MONEY in the "Christian" Churches So they Can Live like KINGS & QUEENS don't want Spiritual Freedom?? Do they rather be in their PRISON MANSIONS?? LOL, ha, ha, ha.
Fact
Money is a magnifying glass for character - if you are good you will be better, if you are bad you will be worse. It shows true personality more easily
This!!!!!
Unfortunately that's not true. She spoke about the inverse relationship between wealth and empathy. I've seen that in my own family as my father's wealth has increased substantially over the years.
This quote is somewhat similar to David Kidder's quote. @danieldpha8484
@@piyalighosh4939 maybe, maybe not - truth is universal
I agree selectively. It can amplify your best and worst qualities but the attitude of your peers helps. If you choose to surround yourself with decent thoughtful people you behave better. The difference is that money buys power and you have to be aware and use it judiciously. I have friends considerably more wealthy than me because they chose professions like law and I did social work. I also have friends from middle and working class backgrounds But I have a considerable safety net that friends with less privileged backgrounds don’t. I try to choose my peers based on shared sensibilities on thing like equality
I once had a discussion with a CEO wife about social inequality and privilege. Bottom line she told me I should travel more and get to know these "underprivileged" people I'm referring to because, I kid you not, her gardeners come from five different countries and they wouldn't concern themselves with such things.
I hate that argument to get to know the "truly underprivileged".
Yeah, sounds like a real splendid person to be around. Not blind to others people hardships at all. 🙈
Well, they don’t have the time to concern themselves of such issues because they work 2 other jobs since she doesn’t pay them a living wage.
@@runawayshay6409 Why is this so funny & sad at the same damned time?!?
She’s right
Re children who grow up wealthy struggling emotionally in adulthood - I am witnessing this play out with a new colleague. They are 21 years old, grew up in exceptional wealth in an upper class family and, for lack of a better word, was obviously spoiled rotten at home.
It's causing issues in our team because any amount of constructive feedback, no matter how sugar coated and diplomatically delivered, is too much and is met with this person taking on that feedback as a direct existential threat.
I can't help but think that it's a result of this person being in a position of power their entire life in every single social interaction they have had.
Like, we cannot even raise the most basic normal things with them. We cannot bring any mistake they make to their attention, because if we do, we lose an entire day of her going around from worker to worker, bitching and crying and complaining about how mean everyone is to them with them calling in sick the next day.
One incident the other week was this person taking another colleague into an empty office to berate, yell and cry at them for rejecting their facebook friend request. Like, what the actual fuck?!
It's absolutely exhausting and infuriating because this person is proving impossible to work with, but also impossible to train. They're 21 years old and have been in our office for 4 months.
That doesn’t sound like a wealth problem it sounds more like an emotional maturity problem and she needs some therapy to work on people skills and some strong mentors to truly guide her.
This person needs to be fired from several jobs to learn that this behavior is not appropriate
🤦🏻♀️
Doesn't sound like a wealth problem, sounds like other issues manifesting as extreme immaturity because she is incapable of handling criticism.
The obvious course of action would be to fire this worker for failing to effectively execute their duties. The termination would be more than justified. People are routinely fired for far more trivial things.
My mom was born into a rich family (my grandfather owned a company) and they hired a few helpers for the home. A helper for housekeeping, a helper to watch the children, a helper for the yard. And so on. Now, my mom is an overly anxious and hypochondriacal narcissist. She lacks empathy.
That what’s happens, when you don’t tech your child on appreciation, empathy, or patience in a middle/high class family.
Hope you are OK.
We weren't rich but my mom didn't work. She developed these same characteristics. Could not relate with the working man at all
do we have the same mother lol
@@blogdesign7126 Thanks, I am doing ok, I appreciate it. I see a therapist, so I am doing much better now. I wasn’t ok for a long time though.
I came into wealth in middle age when I already had a strong network of friends. The biggest stressor is feeling obligated to help my friends who aren't doing as well while balancing expectations and keeping relationships healthy: I don't want relationships to be solely about my friends telling me about struggles and me defaulting to judging whether those struggles are worthy of me giving them money. Parents deal with this all the time: how much do I let my child struggle vs. helping them? The problem is, they're my friends, not my children. And I have to say, it can leave me feeling "god-like" (ugh, barf) knowing that I could write a check and their problem would just disappear. And it also leaves me feeling callous when I don't do that.
Are your friends open to learning from you?
I have the same question as Foougie TV. Are they open to learning? I wonder if they assume that you're gate keeping? Or have the displayed a sense of not wanting to put forth the effort?
@@6InchTruth Gatekeeping is absolutely something I do. Very few of my family and friends know how much money I have. (Also, I'm not someone who buys expensive stuff to show off. Most folks would assume I'm just a regular Joe.)
As for particular examples: one friend is someone who's not a saver, but also not a profligate spender. They don't make a lot of money, so there's not much fluff in their budget to cut out. Fortunately, they don't spend into debt, but between their relationship with saving and their limited income, the savings just aren't there for all that stuff that life throws at you every so often. It makes life hard in ways I've never had to deal with because even when I was poorer I always had enough in the rainy day fund.
@@greg_216 thank you for the insight. I definitely can see your perspective on this.
@@greg_216 How did you come into wealth? Do you think your friends would be interested? Maybe have a business brainstorm session... Give them book recommendations... Stock tips... Links to some helpful YT vids... I don't know, lol.
There is definitely a perception among the wealthy that if they don’t need the social connections to meet their needs, that means that they don’t need the lower class at all. I grew up middle-class-ish, but living abroad and then very poor with many roommates in my 20’s definitely gave me the perspective that we, all of us, live in an interconnected and interdependent community. COVID has only made this more stark. Our society is built on the backs of overworked, underpaid wage labor. That isn’t some Marxist philosophizing; it’s a physical reality. Our society needs to be structured in a way that protects and reinforces this base, not make it as cheap as possible under the assumption that exploitable labor is infinite and interchangeable.
(Unless that exploitable labor is robots, but then we have a whole new class divide issue)
@@deawinter *cue the matrix universe
Well said
The problem is freedom... if people have the ability to choose their own path, many will choose ones that are less lucrative. Its really that simple. Most people can go to school and choose a career that pays well, but they dont because its not where their "heart" or passion is, so they dont. But then act surprised when their passion doesnt pay well or pan. Teachers are one of the few places where i advocate for higher pay
@maniac50ae14 thats not how it works at all. You have no idea what you are talking about
I'm interested in how you bought up money as an addiction. Compare how society treats people who are addicted to alcohol or other drugs or gambling or what have you, against someone who is addicted to accumulating more cash. If you were to imply that Insert Billionaire Here was addicted to money, tons of people would run to point out that they're just "highly motivated" and "innovative", and there's nothing wrong with that.
Back in my retail days, I encountered some "highly motivated" and "innovative" drug addicts.
I'm pretty sure the first stoner to make a bong out of a water bottle was also highly motivated and innovative lmao
I married into a very wealthy family. And for at least one member, it’s never enough. He has such a distorted perception of his own massive wealth, that he will take huge risks in order to accumulate more and will basically ignore family/social needs to keep working and find the next way to grow his wealth. And like, he’s got this insane safety net so even if he looses he will be able to re-grow and risk again. He’s worth 10s of millions but he identifies as middle class which, totally blows my mind.
@@thehonestvet7633 Tell him he’s middle class by choice not force
We are a highly motivated people, lol.
@@thehonestvet7633 the upper class have a grotesque habit of calling themselves middle class because they are in the 1% and not the 0.1%.
As someone who has lived most of their childhood in an apartments and following my mom into food banks I noticed that the world punishes you for being poor. I can't tell you how many times people have been rude to me and has made my mom cry and these were mostly in donation centers and churches. I am also including people who are in the same boat as you economically, they will also treat you terrible, if not, worse. I feel like we should stop romanticizing poverty and try to bring people up to the middle class through education and financial education with those two together I guarantee things will be better.
I work with a bunch of MAGAts of varying ages and backgrounds and the shit they talk about people being lazy or not wanting to work despite being in the same brackets as these aforementioned people is astounding. We're all in service industry jobs making the same amount of money and there's this massive cognitive dissonance. We got this one guy in his 60s who grumbles on an on about "slackers" and how he's been working for 50 years...he's slower than all of us and he doesn't know where anything else is, yet is demanding on other people to include his work in theirs.
I am so sorry this is the way you've been treated 😢 horrendous.
I worked at a luxury resort in undergrad. Served millionaires and billionaires at their catered parties. Some of the saddest, loneliest individuals you’ll ever know. No thanks. 😊
Those who go to stereotypical rich people shit, are normally fucking losers anyways. What do you expect.
Most rich people do normal human shit. You dont even realize their rich most of the time. Not because their tryna be humble or anything. They were just passionate in their field, waited for oppurtunity, jumped at it without much thought, and just ended up wealthy. They do the same shit we do.
People simply OVERTHINK. OVER WORRY.
@@Cocoisagordonsettertrust issues is a big one. Epstein and Diddy shows how dark things can get if you’re invited to a party. Every industry has these controllers, from DC to Wallstreet to Riyadh.
That is how I feel most people who gwt rich get flashy trashyband like sex parties and sleeping around look how Madonna acts no thanks do not want that.
I am a truck driver. People in luxury cars (BMW ,Mercedes, lexus) are the biggest piles of garbage on the road. Also Subaru drivers seem to think they are not subject to the rules of reality.
This is super interesting. I come from the upper class and my wife comes from the lower class. We’ve had huge fights that were essentially cultural miscommunications because we both were raised in such different environments. Like, I always believed in hiring someone to help move homes with you because you wouldn’t want to be a burden by asking a friend (and odds are they’d find a reason not to help, anyway). But she would help you move because then you’ll help her move.
Regardless of what direction you two come from when asking or hiring for assistance, it sounds like you both experience underlying guilt about it
Being raised in a military family long enough and dealing with multiple moves… I would and will never ever let anyone move my stuff and I will never ask any friends to help either. It’s my stuff and it’s my task to deal with.
I come from a lower class background and I'm now middle class. I feel like I am constantly making this observation... middle and upper class people do not help each ogher in this way. And it's very gross. Then they express amazement when there is a natural disaster in like Louisiana and poor people will try to feed their whole neighborhood. Because lower class people have more empathy.
@@acivilright With my old rich roommates, they used to ask me to pay rent when my friends came over. Rich people have such a skewed perception of the world because they got rich by stepping all over people.
@@acivilright This stuff starts in childhood. I was not allowed to help buy classmates food because “it’s not my money and I’m taking advantage.”
I’m lucky I got my head screwed on a lot better in college because I met people from a bunch of different background.
TFD 4 years ago: How to make a budget
Me: Yes, thank you!
TFD now: Ultra rich people suck
Me: Yes, thank you!
What about MrBeast? He's very rich and he does a lot of fun challenges for people to win money in. I've seen and heard nothing but great things about him, especially from people who participated in his challenges.
@@paolotorres8537 there will always be exception but i think they are talking about generally.
@@sarveshmohite-khadakpada8416 This is why I don't like videos like this. You shouldn't generalize a group of people based on their class. Not all rich people are jerks, and likewise, not all poor people are nice. Trust me, I've had an experience where I was at a food joint with my friends, and a homeless man who walked inside was being very rude and loudmouthed. An employee told him to leave the store for his disruptive behavior. I applaud her for handling it professionally. Yes, the man wanted a bag, but because he was being rude and cussing about it, the employee wouldn't acquiesce. If the man asked nicely, he would've gotten his bag. Rich or homeless, there's no excuse for being an a-hole.
True that!
Exactly. People are thick. They think that a thesis like Ashley's is meant airtightly with no exceptions.
I know someone who used to work for several extremely rich families and the things that these people thought were okay to do and or say are so absurd I couldn't even imagine.
Poverty is a choice made for others by those that it has never affected... Social programs are not handouts... They are investments in then success of the country... The more sucessful it's people the more productive the country... Then insane profits made by corporations are not made by the CEOs or the owers or the stakeholders... the wealth of a company is generated by it's employees... productivity and profits have skyrocketed... wages haven't budged... Employees are getting nothing in return for the wealth they are generating... We work harder and longer and are more productive then any other country and don't even get to reap the results of our labor... at this point it's basically slavery with extra steps...
someone needs to make a meme w/ that last statement using that Rick & Morty screenshot "...But with Extra Steps" template, lol
They had us in the first four words im not gonna lie
I agree with many parts of this but I don’t think its slavery. There are many pathways out.
@@lijohnyoutube101 example?
CEOs are employees in public corporations. They work for the shareholders just like every other employee.
a problem with the luxury car experiment is that researchers were not able to assess people's economic backgrounds accurately solely based on the car you drive. It's possible that people that value luxury cars (maybe going into debt to obtain them) and who like to flaunt wealth in public are the assholes in general
Very well said, my thoughts exactly. Not sure that I could trust the study for what it's trying to study.
Yeah. Both broke and rich folks buy BMWs and Benz.
Good points, there is probably more factors at play
Yeah, a better experiment would've been one that controlled for that. Additionally, someone who is willing to go into debt for a car would most likely demonstrate the same risky behavior while driving. Meanwhile, someone who can afford a luxury card without issue would partake in risky driving behaviors because they can pay for tickets as well as any damage they cause to another car if they were to crash. Different paths to similar behavior.
Rather than one fancy car, I would measure the snotty-wealth-factor on a yacht, a country club, a personal plane, or a senseless mansion.
Isn't a causal relationship in the other direction also quite likely? Like being less generous and more willing to take advantage of others probably increases your chances of acquiring wealth right?
Feel like the key thing is having a marketable skill/being smart. I know a lot of poor assholes.
There's definitely some truth to that. I worked for a company where all of the senior staff independently did the "Is my boss a psychopath?" quiz and found out about it over drinks...
@@eldermillennial2000 I also know plenty of people who are highly intelligent and skilled but who struggle in the workplace because they're not interested in kissing the boss's ass or cutting the throats of their colleagues to win social points. They're far more interested in getting the work done and supporting members of the team who are struggling. This tends to lead to them just getting ground down emotionally, not advancing, and seeking a new employer once the bullshit level just gets too high. I've been told my whole life we live in a meritocracy, but my life experience tells me something very, very different as I watch the kindest, most empathetic people in my life struggle the hardest.
It’s probably not a simple causal connection either way. If Not all assholes get rich, but being an asshole makes it more likely and easier (and it definitely does), and BEING rich decreases empathy and cooperative behavior, you’re going to end up with a group of people heavily skewed towards being awful.
@@deawinter 100% agree, I was just thinking, it probably goes both ways.
I worked in the homes of the rich and famous for 16 years. It's nice to see my experiences validated here.
You have to write a book!
@@perthfanny3017 Yes!!!
Are you indestructible? Because that number sounds like you are
Don’t be shy give us some stories ???
That doesn’t mean they’re all the same.
When I got my first job that pay decent money, I entered the middle class. I started to lose empathy toward people less fortunate thinking if I can do it, why can't you? Even some of friends who work really hard and got out of poverty think the same way. The truth is that even though we were financially poor growing up, we were values rich because we had a stable family. There are many who are not so lucky. It's like I join another tribe (middle class) that was attacking my tribe (lower class) and join in attacking my original tribe with such a toxic mentality. Luckily, I realize how I was devolving and remember my values. Gaining money then losing your humanity just make you piss poor morally.
Loved the 'Tribe' analogy!
There's also the psychology of wanting to fit in with those on your new level by distancing yourself from your origins and also the fear of how precarious economic status can be
Money doesn’t buy virtue but it does make it easier to be virtuous, especially at the beginning. I’m glad you were able to turn yourself around ❤ I hope you’ve forgiven yourself for any infractions you committed while thinking the way you did. We are all human and we should give each other the opportunity to grow, I hope you’re giving this opportunity to your friends. Best, Stephanie
Power reveals. Wealth is power. And to always be up the top to never need to compromise to survive definitely doesn't help build character. Lack of accountability for poor behaviour is never good but especially those that get away with it.
When it comes to bad behavior, we are more likely to remember when we were at the receiving end than at the giving end. We need to be equally self-reflective at both ends. I think this is commonly known as "It's okay to do unto others, but not okay when it's done unto you."
Yep hypocrisy.
@@birichinaxox9937 more like cognitive dissonance
A valid point, but in THIS instance the bad behavior is birthed & protected by wealth. If you don't have wealth, you have to interact with people more.
According to the studies mentioned, interacting with people is what cultivates societal bonds & empathy. The non wealthy COULD be cruel, but they do so w/o the protection and lack of consequences of non wealthy.
I grew up poor in a wealthy college town (my mom chose to spend more than she should on rent for the better schools). I learned that money can make life convenient but it didn't make kids happy. Oh sure they had the expensive stuff but didn't have attentive parents which they wanted. Now I am not saying all wealthy people are bad parents, but what I saw growing up cured me of being envious.
I wonder how much of this is cause/effect.
Antisocial traits are also the traits that are economically rewarded. Being willing to exploit others, believing you are entitled to success, and not care about other people are excellent ways to achieve financial/business success
Beleiving your entitled to success is important. That is something you MUST have.
Exploiting others is overexaggerated.
@@honkhonk8009 "Exploiting others is overexaggerated" I would say it is a blue moon situation where achieve success without exploitation succeeds
It's a game theory problem: If Im willing to
1) Pay below a living wage
2) Pay workers a smaller share of the value they produce 58% (current) instead of 66% (historical average)
I can generate more capital to then buy out companies that generate less capital. Ex. I can only think of ONE fast food company that has succeeded while treating people right and that's Chic-fil-a.
In retail Costco would be another example. You've got most companies exploiting people and you've got the blue moon event that's Costco
@@honkhonk8009believing you will achieve success =/= believing you are entitled to success. Being entitled isnt good, it creates pathetic humans. Exploiting others isnt exaggerated, exploitation of others is quite literally what makes the entire careers of the white collar rich. You wrote that comment only for it to be entirely wrong
This video came at a great time for me personally as I was mind-boggled by some extremely wealthy people recently... I am a photographer for a studio that occasionally does a high-end wedding. I was on one of those high-end luxury weddings in NYC. Everyone was so extremely wealthy and the feeling of having some kind of disconnect with them was very palpable. When speaking to some of them it was first of all hard to get their attention, then it was as if they were looking past me, instead of engaging. However, some were very sweet! But there definitely was that disconnect. It was quite a shocking and strange experience. Also, most brides, grooms and their families follow the itinerary for the day so we can get everything from portraits to family pictures covered. These folks, however, even though They hired Us, would not cooperate, would not be asked to do anything, and quite firmly made their own rules for everyone and everything.
"Could you please move over here for the shot?" "No why don't you just make the background come to us? What are we paying you for!?!?!"
I thought it was maybe my imagination, but I just recently moved to a wealthy area of the city and I've observed what you're talking about with people with good cars. I even have had to tell my son to be more careful around people who are driving SUVs. It's insane to me how little they care.
I find that in wealthy suburbs, if someone needs to get somewhere, they're driving. People (especially children and teens) may ride bikes or walk for leisure, but not for transportation. I feel like this is connected to wealthy people not looking for pedestrians as much. If you're walking for fun, you're much more likely to be on a walking trail or in a park than along a collector or arterial road.
In less wealthy neighborhoods, you have a lot more people walking/biking/taking transit to work. Your family members and neighbors are doing it. So when you're driving, you look for pedestrians, because a) you're used to it, and b) the people you care about are walking.
i noticed this in driving in wealthy parts of my county. people in nicer cars just drive more recklessly and they will cut people off because they think that they have a priority.
There was a study done on this exact thing. People with luxury cars break more rules than people driving non-luxury cars. It was fascinating. But, yeah, they don't care.
It’s kind of sad that as humans we only care about other people unless we need something from them.
On point, as usual ! It reminds me of my in-laws. I come from a lower-middle class family and my husband's family is "hillbilly rich", if that's a thing. They don't believe they are rich though, even when my brother-in-law was able to crash a Corvette into a telephone pole with absolutely no consequences whatsoever. (:confused Mona emoji:)
I consider it a shibboleth when rich people say the exact phrase: "We're not rich! Now, we're not hurting ... " For some reason, that exact phrase comes out of the mouths of the most spoiled people I've ever known with total predictability.
I was always thinking that it's the other way around. People who become rich tend to follow certain rules to get there. They are less social, more frugal to the point of being greedy, and more goal oriented, regardless of means. Naturally, by the time they get there in terms of wealth, they don't see the need in changing. There behavior got them where they wanted to be at the end of the day.
Anyone who’s waited tables for a living is well aware of this. I worked in a restaurant near a church with wealthy parishioners and the servers fought to avoid the after church shift because the people were so insufferable and stingy.
That's often because they've had to give 10% of their income to the church. I know so many stingy people because they gave so much money to their church.... so ridiculous because who knows what that money is being spent on.
From my observations the friends I’ve had who have been more financially well off were typically LESS generous than those who were struggling with money. An understanding was usually made between friends of mine who were also financially struggling and we helped eachother out sometimes without expecting anything back.
Its smart not to give people money that are dumb with it. I wouldn’t reward someone doing extremely stupid things with my money but I will very substantially give to charities that help kids or others that got a bad dice roll.
So I would say the generosity just comes with more intent and part of that intent is not wanting to throw good money after bad decision making!
@@lijohnyoutube101 she said that they were all financially struggling.
@@canesugar911 I was speaking to the perceived ‘less generous’ statement.
@@lijohnyoutube101 so was i. Being generous is about giving not your pocket size, which is the point the original comment was making. That despite their financial difficulties, they still helped whilst the richer people tended to be stingy, even though they are in a better position to do something.
@@canesugar911 and my point was its not stingy, its just more intentional and to ensure your money is making a beneficial impact versus rewarding poor behavior.
I truly believe that rich people don’t get knocked into the middle of next week nearly as often as they should.
👍
Like when my bank account reaches the negatives I just sigh if it happened to them they’d probably lose their shit 😂
@@carlgrimeseyepatch27 Or they pull a Trump and just start refusing to pay people.
Yup
@@lizabethhampton4537 yes 😂😂 the less i have the more i an willing to give because I’m already broke why not!!!
I was born into a poor family in Australia. I have socially mobilised through the classes and married my wealthy husband- and his wealthy family. We owe no money on our property and neither of us have to work. I was a registered nurse and miserable. I decided to work in a supermarket instead. I love it. The way people speak to me, is disgusting, even though Most likely I am in a higher social class to them.
I'm very happy for you. What helped me was finally realizing my own worth for myself. Nowadays I couldn't care less about people I don't know.
I often find that wealthy women or women who are being taken care of work in grocery stores. I'll see a woman working in the flower department with the biggest rock. That's because they can literally choose to do anything, like work part time somewhere lowkey, and not have to worry about living expenses.
*Wow. You’re a good person.*
One time at was at a fancy movie theater frequented by older rich people in the Philly suburbs, and as I was waiting in line at the concession stand, MULTIPLE people in front of me took it open themselves to go behind the counter and take what they needed because the line was taking too long.
Wth
In my experience, spending 10 years not having to look at a single price tag makes everyone unrecognizable.
You can watch it happen live with rappers from poor backgrounds. Their debut album will have lines like "having money isn't everything, not having it is" and 10 years later they no longer think luck played any role in their life ever and their stardom was destined and also somehow everyone could do it too and it's the poor people's fault for being poor and all their songs are now just loose lists of brand names. Jay Z no longer has anything to say besides moaning about not buying real estate 10 years ago that he could sell for far more today.
rappers aren't rich people, theyre poor people with soon to be gone money.
"I coulda bought a place in Dumbo before it was Dumbo / For like 2 million / That same building today is worth 25 million / Guess how I'm feelin'? Dumbo" lol
@@marchingmoose2673literally that song 😂
amazing that he thinks its relatable to the average american owing tens of thousands in medical debt even with healthcare, tens of thousands in student loans, and who wont ever even own a one bedroom apartment
@@pheela Right???? Then the man had the audacity to go on and sell people who are still living in the projects where he was raised crypto. Like, those folks did NOT need a currency that many were already fearing by then would crash.
@@pheela he didn't write those lines to be relatable. He wrote them to show how a financially savvy person thinks. The average person is not financially savvy. Not everything has to be relatable.
Chelsea, thank you so much for touching base upon the emotional labor side of working service jobs again. While struggling with my own mental health and lacking access to proper Healthcare (at one point), some of the patrons at a former workplace who could EASILY afford having a therapist, who didn't even care to ask how I am doing, would make it a daily habit of dumping their negative emotions on me. They would come out of nowhere! Others had expectations of sexual nature. My manager at said previous workplace would encourage me to "befriend" said patrons and informed me that some complained about me not wanting to be friends. She had no issues pimping me while underpaying me!
Mood I work as a dance teacher and personal trainer. I dont know what you do, but I understand
more money can definitely make people disconnected and more callous than they originally were. But I think it's really crucial for people to understand that, by nature, capitalism rewards the most brutal and exploitative businesses and their owners, because it is a system based on competition and inequality. By design, the worst people rise to the top. "Money corrupts" is a backwards explanation for what we see. The reality is that evil deeds make profits. The things you have to do to become and remain super wealthy are inherently immoral because profit comes from exploitation. If you have two businesses that provide the same product or service, the one that gets more productivity out of their workers for lower wages gets to pocket more profit. This means they're going to be able to outcompete the other business because they can sell their good/service at lower prices until their competitor goes out of business (then raise prices when they no longer have competition). Essentially, the more adept a business is at exploiting workers - getting a lot of productivity out of them and pocketing most of the value they create- the more profitable it is.
I'm glad we are seeing so much more discussion of wealth inequality in recent years, but these discussions tend to avoid the elephant in the room which is what capitalism fundamentally is: a class society in which a few people privately own the major productive resources that affect everyone (factories, land, natural resources - capital) and thus control the economy, and people who don't and thus can be taken advantage of by the first group.
We don't know about truly kind super-rich people because, in the very rare event that a kind person becomes a billionaire (through inheritance or the lottery or something, idk) they would not keep all that money - they wouldn't remain super wealthy! Or they at least wouldn't use the money to start taking advantage of other people to increase their personal wealth. The billionaires who give away some millions a year in donations - these are a business expense to them and represent only a tiny portion of their wealth, which continues to grow. The donations are good PR and convince a segment of the population that we need an ultra-wealthy layer of people to fund private charities and such - when in fact these billionaires do everything they can to afford paying fair taxes that would fund better social services.
We will keep talking in circles as long as we don't understand that inequality comes down to existence of private property (again, capital, the stuff that's needed to produce goods and services on a large scale - not personal property like your toothbrush, shirt, bed, etc). What we need is to take these productive forces into democratic public ownership and manage them with a democratic planned economy based on meeting human need, not making profits for a few. That's what socialism actually is (not just more welfare programs under capitalism).
Amazing comment. I hope lots of people read it! This was one of the best explanations of the inherent flaws of capitalism and the benefits of socialism in a non-emotional, factual way that I have ever read. If we could have more conversations based on these facts and not fearmongering and scarcity, our society would be in a much better place. But alas, it doesn't pay the mainstream media bills.
This was a phenomenal comment and should probably be pinned to the top of this video. You are a gem for sharing, thank you.
Why is it that inequality is the consequence of the existence of private property?
You are a goddess
Based
It is also a very weird experience to change class abruptly. My father, son of immigrant parents, was able to realize his "American dream" of wealth late in life. Monetarily, we are incredibly lucky and grateful. However, it also created chaos and then lasting damage in familial relationships. Anyone else have this experience?
Relatives on my mother's side got rich, abandoned all of us and only showed up for the estates when the grandma died? I'm still livid to this day.
If you watch the financial confessions podcast episode with Yanely she talks about her experience with just that, it’s one of my favorite TFD videos
Thanks!
@@emilyb3875 I'm only 20 minutes into this episode, but wanted to thank you again.
Yes. My dad started resenting his side of the family for always coming to him for money. I'll even say, they grew up very poor but never went hungry. By his own words, "he was the most successful". He was a stingy man and never gave to others who weren't his immediate family and even then he was miserly. Not only that, but other family members will talk behind your back and call you names. It can get real nasty when the ENTIRE family isn't well off or comofortable. I've learned, when you come into money, your mindset has to change or you won't be able to keep your wealth for long.
3:53 Thank you! I'm so sick of people misusing the term emotional labor! It's not dealing with the mental load of who is doing the Christmas cards or who is ordering the plane tickets for vacations, Karen, it's a performative act of consistently portraying friendliness and cheerfulness when you just aren't feeling it, often to the detriment of one's mental health. It can have a seriously long-lasting impact on people, including making it harder for them to stand up for themselves, thus they often endure heightened levels of abuse and mistreatment that no one should experience.
Emotional labor has been bastadized into not wanting to spend time with your kids
....
Even on her little comedic asides, Chelsea is SAVAGE with the accurate commentary.
If people get that option later than a choice on parenthood it's valid not to want spending time with children they never cared to have... it's upsetting to imagine people pressured into starting a family and unwanted children subject to caretakers
@@fionafiona1146 did those kids ask to be brought into the world?? How about instead of looking at them as something that came to ruin your life, see them as you are. None of you asked for the other, but they're here now. The least you can do is make it work. Don't blame the child who didn't even ask to be born and instead take accountability for having sex without taking the proper measures when you didn't want a child. That's like binge eating regularly and saying you don't want to be fat, absurd.
@@chisomo8088
Why shouldn't they get loving parents trough adoption or dedicated caregivers, even if those would need to be paid?
Teaching sexEd, keeping contraception available and building social safety nets doesn't keep people from making choices that don't suit or the social pressure to do so.
If this failure manifests in children living where they aren't desired anymore rethinking is a valid option.
@@fionafiona1146 please never have kids, moron.
Who am I kidding? No one would even want to have kids with you
Also, liking your own comments is cringe
Sometimes I go to the fancy and expensive grocery store in my town and that’s the only parking lot I ever get cut off and sped around. It’s cut throat there!-because everyone feels like THEY have the right of way🙄
Too real!
You think that’s bad try going to the hood
Dolly Parton is one of the few wealthy people I have any respect for at this point.
...and she came from NOOOOOTHING lol. She did a fantastic job holding onto common sense & empathy. Dolly for the win!
What about MrBeast?
@@paolotorres8537 never heard of him.
@@jennamarie8660 He's very big on youtube and does all these challenges where people have a chance to earn money. He's also a philanthropist who helped struggling communities across america and even helped struggling communities outside the country like Africa, and war-torn Ukraine.
How can you respect such a no-talent, whorish caricature of femininity?
My step dad delivered appliances to Paris Hilton once he said she was very nice to them. offered them beers and she actually tipped them really well! Lol idk if she’s in the pic just cause she’s rich rich 🤣
I’ve encountered her several times, randomly in different places…one being my job. She’s actually very nice:)
I think its because her parents betrayed her by paying some correlational school to fake kidnap her without her knowing. She said it was super traumatizing and the officers at that school got a kick at treating children like utter shit. So she said she never wanted to be dependent on her parents after that experience and wanted to make it herself on her own
I was friends once with this girl who would constantly say the most tone deaf things about almost everything, and never tip or never pay back her friends, bring things to parties when everyone else is, etc. she’d brag about how much money she has and how much she spent on furniture, clothes, whatever it is. I finally realized that every time I was around her, she was just talking down to me and basically just hanging out with me to try and make herself feel better about herself.
Loved the video. I think the link between wealth and depression could be caused by other factors eg. Wealthy people have greater access to healthcare and are therefore more likely to be diagnosed with mental illness.
This! This topic is honestly so nuanced.
This was a very thought-provoking video. I have no scientific studies, but when I was an Uber/Lyft driver, my most dreaded passengers were the very rich and the very poor. The most rewarding were solidly middle to upper middle class. It seems that having enough money to forget about it, but not become obsessed with it, leads to the most balanced mentality. I am recently coming out of a stage in life where I was listening to a ton of prosperity/law of attraction/hustle gurus. A key refrain amongst them is to (kind of) glorify the rich. Like, you can never say that the rich are (insert negative trait here) because, if you do, then you will never become rich. So people are brainwashed to never say anything negative about rich people out of superstition that this will prevent you from being successful. As an aside, I wonder if some level of psychopathy/anti-social mentality is correlated with wealth. It takes a certain amount of lack of empathy to push towards more and more wealth, not caring if your product or service is useful or if the customer will benefit or not, or if the planet will benefit or not.
I’ve been around major wealth but grew up poor. Dating a few VERY successful men has been eye opening. All are very smart, most are insecure and a few are sociopathic. They are all workaholics and nepos create mountains out of molehills and don’t know real problems. Than you for coming to my Ted Talk
If the wealthy man grew up poor they are more selfish and out of touch imo than a wealthy man who grew up wealthy.
In the early 2000s, I met a guy online named Cody. We were both looking for more than casual flings and sex and had been talking for months. Cody seemed to be using far away/blurry pics to hide his face. Maybe he was unattractive or lacking confidence, but I agreed to meet in person because he was generally a nice guy. At that time, I was pretty cute, but in my "give them a chance" phase. When we finally met in person, he was way better-looking than his pics. Like stunningly hot. And the physical chemistry between us so intense you could hear it bubbling. You know, when you look at someone else and you can feel the mutual attraction so intensely that it makes you both kind of fumble?
Then, the date went nowhere. We had nothing to talk about because we lived completely different lives. It turned out he was hiding his wealth and his looks, presumably to protect himself from unwanted romantic suitors (in typical rich hot person fashion). To make things more complicated, he was also into Latino guys like me, but living in a city filled with rich white people. He knew he had to "slum it" to find the kinds of guys he liked. His family was loaded and he wanted for nothing, at a time where I had just dodged becoming homeless and was taking care of myself with no help. We couldn't talk about "life" and overcoming struggles, the things that had made us who we are, or anything with an ounce of depth. His contributions to the conversation were about how he want to upgrade to a newer car and what stores he liked to shop at.
The guy was really into me and genuinely trying, but it was like he was stuck inside his own mind and trying to break free and be more than he ever could. I REALLY wanted to be into him, but it was like two people speaking in different languages. We had nothing in common beyond the freaking electricity that was traveling between our bodies. We both left the date realizing nothing was going to happen.
I couldn't have ever been with that guy. I could not exchange my dignity for a hot jawline and a BMW just to be some vapid, rich guy's brown rescue puppy. I'm sure he found someone who would.
I’m not sure I buy the study about luxury car drivers.
Not all luxury car drivers are rich, some may be living above their means.
Not all rich people drive luxury cars.
I think the correlation is more between the type of personality between a person who would drive a luxury car instead of rich people.
Grew up poor, recently became upper middle class in my country. My relationships didn’t change all that much, I was able to help my immediate family not worry about money and my mom achieved her dreams to travel to places like Italy and Egypt. I’m able to gift my friends the way I’ve always wanted, nothing fancy but I love it. With a bit of investing, I might not need to work anymore if I keep living the same way I did before, with a few upgrades. So far, so great, and I have people in my life that are going to tell me if I become an asshole.
This video isn't about you. Its for the wealthy, not successful. This isn't meant as an insult; I'd happily take being "successful/comfortable/secure'" . You're in a good spot, but you're not buying your 3rd private jet.
That's the kinda money she's discussing. Keep being successful!
@@mazsax999 well now I wanna buy three jets. What am I gonna do with them? No idea.
@@dollydork9187 Interest rates & gas are terrible, wait till next year for those jets.
I worked at an impound lot and by far the worst people to deal with were the luxury car drivers. Most were doctors or lawyers. Their kids were also assholes. We have a law school here in town.
In any customer service job, doctors and lawyers are the worst. How do you know they're a doctor or a lawyer - they will tell you. overcompensating PHD' s are bad, too.
What's the difference between God and a Doctor? God doesn't think he's a Doctor.
I am the Front Office Manager at a Hotel, and you would not believe the entitlement that some people have!
I would love to see a video about hotels!!!
Yes, and let's not fall into the noble savage trope, i.e assuming that poor people will have a better personality because they're not corrupted by wealth. It think it's easy to fall into that but it's irrelevant for most debates and distracts the attention from other questions that matter more.
Last guys don’t necessarily finish nice.
I actually think “poor” people are more prone to be aholes. They always have an attitude due to lack lol
@@thegreat9481 and sometimes they feel just as entitled as rich people, just in different contexts. i.e: the poor might feel entitled to a rich person's money and demand that they donate to show that they are 'good people', and the rich might feel entitled to services and people's time. Two sides of the same coin.
I know, sometimes that’s the reality
both "rich" and "poor" people tends to be "assholes", one is never been told "no", and the other really stop caring about being told "no"s. one group can afford to lose pretty much anything, and the other group really has nothing to lose.....so
This video is amazing!! Thank you for putting it together. Coming from humble background and now living in a wealthy area, I now understand why I find there’s a lack of community, people kids are horribly entitled and rude as well as I feel sometimes very lonely.. I worked so hard to be able to live there but found myself wondering why I aspired you this in the first place. What makes you happy are the healthy social connections and sense of purpose.. not being alone in a sea of wealthy entitled brats.
So true my uncle came to a Thanksgiving party along with other family and he told me about his earnings of 40 million a month and didn't understand why I can't buy a house buy a house with my boyfriend and everyone was shocked when I mentioned that my partner works graveyard at Amazon and only gets 1,500/month and that were homeless living with my parents with our baby. My uncle was like why don't you invest 5,000/month and I had to breakdown living cost and child cost to bring him to reality.
I can't stand those people whose first answer is to invest your money. When you barely make enough money to cover the cost of living, you're too mentally and physically and financially drained at all times to even consider investing. It's just laughable!
No way your uncle makes 40 million a month. Lol
Any proof that your uncle really makes 40M a month?
@@anthonytakouam4324They might live in a different country where the currency is worth less than a dollar/euro.
The empirical evidence is great to have, but anyone who has worked in an environment that caters to the rich and wealthy already knew this
Right 😂🙈 that's like the theme of this whole chanel . People even have the nerve to call me at home sometimes
Are most rich people like this? Stereotypes are exaggerated.
I'm curious about people who grew up poor who then start to make a lot of money. Are there any studies about those people? How they navigate social situations or work situations.
I'll give you an example that's pretty personal to me: I grew up with parents who divorced when I was young. Both were just HS graduates with low paying jobs. I lived in public subsidized housing, and had reduced/free lunch through school. Money was why my parents divorced and it was always a sensitive topic.
Now, as an adult, I have been amazingly fortunate to gain a well paying job. In the last few years, I've more than doubled my salary. But this puts me in a sort of Bizarro World. The people I work with, who I interact with, have absolutely *no idea* why I live in a bad neighborhood, in the city, driving an old car, wearing thrift store clothes, talk about my neighbors getting arrested, and complaining about the cost of gas and food. I made the choice to buy a house many years ago that fit my income bracket at the time. Now it doesn't match.
The thing is, this all makes sense to me. But they absolutely cannot fathom that I am still worried about money, despite having a well paying job. I'm making up for at least a decade of home repairs that I struggled to afford previously. I don't have that Generational Wealth. I only got money recently. Yes, I make bank in comparison to just a few years ago. But I'm still playing catch up.
I know others in my position end up paying for their lower income family once they hit the big money. But I'm not even doing that and I'm still looked at sideways by my peers at work for being cheap. It's wild.
Anyway, that's a lot. And I don't even know what term to search for to research it. "New vs Old Wealth" is a bit extreme. It's more "Old Wealth vs. New High Income".
I noticed this in LA. The worst drivers almost always have luxury cars.
Do BMW’s have turn signals?
I once did a stint in customer service at a bank branch. I was in the management programme, and this was a mandatory rotation I had to do just to get an idea of how ground operations work. I noticed the vast difference in attitude that the premier customers (those with >$200k deposits with our bank, barely a large amount) had towards us. That level of entitlement was mind boggling. As someone who has a desk job, I really respect anyone in frontline/customer service work for being able to do this for years.
You don't become less empathetic. You just have to stop wearing a mask because you're wealthy enough to tell your servants to f*ck off if they don't serve you well. People that genuinely care about others' feelings don't suddenly change and become less empathetic (unless people keep trying to steal from them, that would make sense).
If you're poor and not autistic (like me, I am in the Autism spectrum) you read people's faces better because you need to make the effort for your survival (or you lose your job or get a higher price when you are buying things at your local farmers market). You also need to present a better behavior and avoid speaking out your mind because otherwise people might even physically attack you.
When you're wealthy you don't have to care about those things, so you can free yourself up from that fake persona or you just need enough of it to prevent a PR nightmare or "cancellation" if your public image is part of your business.
In the end some of us are good, some are bad. The wealthy are just more free.
Quick note: people who were born rich and never lived as a poor person can't relate to many things. That doesn't make them evil, they're just unrelatable because they never experienced what we do/did. You can't explain to someone how life is when you live with chronic pain if that person never went through it. We can't also empathize with them if we never experienced the other side. It's surely better but it involves a different perspective and you need to adjust to survive.
Let’s be honest. If someone is a good individual they aren’t going to move along. They’re going to listen, think about their actions, and make any changes if needed. The people moving along are those who think they’re nice but are really Aholes who refuse to see their actions as negative.
It's so true
I grew up dirt poor as a kid in southern Mississippi but had a loving family. My family instilled morals and principles in me on the daily. Then some 10-15 years later, my family’s life completely changed as we literally became rich overnight (long story). However, the “pinching pennies” mindset towards money, and having good relationships/friendships with people hasn’t changed with my family and with myself. I’ve personally gone from “making ends meet” to becoming a business owner and experiencing financial freedom. I can tell you this: “it’s better having money than to do without.” And money cannot buy you happiness but it sure does override unhappiness and stress too. Praying that everyone finds a financial breakthrough for you and your family.
i just don't understand the stinginess of rich people. i have relatives on both ends of the financial spectrum and only my richest family member are the stingiest. i feel embarrassed for them, don't they understand that it makes them look bad. I'm not saying they have to spend hundreds of dollars on their extended family but something better than a box Costco cookies would nice for a housewarming present. lol.
They probably gain an inflated ego due to being rich. I'm sure everyone would have an ego boost if they were to suddenly become rich. They feel superior compared to others because they are a family that not a lot of families are. With a higher ego means they have a loss in empathy.
My brother is an NFL player. Let's just say, he's the type to eat steak & lobster in front of you while hearing your stomach growl.
I think a lot of it is due to the mentality that you deserve more if you have more money or that you worked harder. If that's the case, why am I sharing it with these lazy people? It's a crap mentality but I think that's what it is.
Interesting point
I think maybe it’s because nobody helped them when they were nobodies ? But now that they have money everyone feels entitled to it for some reason
Can’t not bring this up after you mentioned a six year old flying business, when I was an au pair I had the six year old I cared for genuinely tell me why he thought business class was better that 1st class. This is no word of a lie, it was years ago and I still think about it all the time.
not sure how this will get takes so I'll try and write it as transparently as possible. I'm lucky enough to be much wealthier than most in my country (Egypt) but still don't count as rich or obscenely wealthy by 1st world country standards (or even other wealthier Arabs) - and I try my best to not lose the sense of empathy & genuine human communal sense instilled in me throughout my life. But in a lot of cases here the separation between classes is hard to ignore.
You made a point about eye contact and it made we think how I smile at service workers whenever I'm in Europe or the states but here if I do that they take it as an opening to flirt. Rich women tend to dress more "provocatively" and working class men will sometimes use their positions in fancy malls to just stare at womens thighs or stomachs. The other side aren't perfect either. I remember once I tried to help my nanny out by giving her an old iPad for her son, and later found her stealing my jewellery.
I'm not trying to take away from your points at all, I guess I'm just saying there's assholes everywhere and sometimes wealth look different in different societies. I never want to be a spoiled entitled brat, but in Egypt sometimes if I'm not I get taken advantage of so much quicker and swifter. I see my privilege as a matter of fact, and try my best to help how I can. Is playing my part as a wealthy person hypocritical?
I was a peer counselor for a while a long time ago. I worked with some wealthy and rich children (court ordered in their case) and I went to school with some too and their parents were usually horrible. They had money, but they hardly ever saw their kids and when they did they generally substituted money for love and affection. The kids I helped generally were horribly neglected emotionally speaking. Their parents punished them out of embarrassment, not to teach them or even discipline them. They rarely acknowledged that their children were not okay. This didn't help their kids. Well off people can overdose and die while driving under the influence and their families can still leave them when it gets bad. It doesn't take away all consequences it arguably only leaves the worst ones.
My best friend from school is properly wealthy. He was born into wealth but his father earned it through merit and innovation. Credit to his dad who never let him use more money than he should at young age. He had same bicycle a middle class kid would. No fancy stuff for you. He was sent to a govt school, while his father could've very easily afforded to send him to private school. He's decided to pursue his dad's business and he's every bit humble as he used to be. I guess you can stop it from happening if you're mindful.
I have once witnessed a little girl mistreating her Asian nanny. She couldn't have been older than 7 or 8 years old, but this girl was ordering her nanny around and calling her names for no reason. I almost wanted to video tape this behavior but I was so afraid of this little girl because she spoke with so much authority and had a facial expression of pure evil.
You were scared of a 7 year old.
Damn, that's wild.
I wonder what the girl will be like when she grows up. 😯
I wish you had recorded, because I'm fascinated by this now
I think they just have inaccurate social connections as well. If they do have day-to-day contact with working people (employees, ex.) I think they can really think they are funny, tell great jokes, and everyone likes them because ... well, of course your employees all laugh at their damn crap jokes, if you are acting like a jerk they aren't going to tell you, and if you ask them for free stuff, they will feel obligated to smile and give it to you. Like you said, it's all about freedom from consequences.
The problem with being rich is even common hobbies seem like a flex to poor and regular people.
Enjoy fine wine? That's a flex. Enjoy nice clothes? That's a flex. Enjoy collecting watches? Also a flex. Have a car collection? Go skiing? Go visit other countries? Etc. Etc.
Like at what point is it just resentment from the have nots being misconstrued as the rich being "assholes?"
I used to work at the casino and the high rollers get better benefits such as superior dining options in terms of meal and seating arrangements. Well, one day my high roller room was full so I offered a table in the main dining room so these two high rollers wouldn’t have to wait. The older one scoffs and says “we have to sit with the common people?” And to think these are the people running the entire world 🙄 No wonder everything is disordered and chaotic.
Lmao!
Hey, just apropos of nothing, I love that you don't lay out this information like you're giving a lecture. Like the digression about the person in the hotel for some reason actually makes me feel like you're not shilling for something, you're just sincerely interested in sharing this information. Which is needed in this youtube financial advice space.
Agreed. She's giving financial advice, but seems like a real person whose seen some crap. I really appreciate that too.
If they had empathy or compassion they wouldn't be hoarding resources while others starve.
That's because if they didn't hoard resources they wouldn't be rich.
@@fa9183 that's kind of the point. In order to amass any level of wealth it takes a lack of empathy and a willingness to exploit the labor of other people.
Discussions around money/wealth and happiness or general life style always remind me of an old Kanye west lyric (do not stab his behaviour especially of late but I do think this specific lyric from the 00s sums it up orrery well)… ‘having money isn’t everything, not having it is’. Beyond a certain point money is a burden but that doesn’t mean that money doesn’t allow happiness/flexibility and essentials (and piece of mind that comes with having security in your domicile, food situation and health) so alas with all his issues Ye got this one right
Use it or loose it. People who don't need to practice empathy on a day to day basis, tend to loose it
I worked in the landscape industry for twelve years. Hiring someone to take care of your home or business garden is a luxury, so I ran into many very wealthy people. The wealthier they were, usually the more demanding and they would always try to get the lowest price possible, or ask me at the last minute to add in plants or something we had not agreed upon or paid for. One time, a client called me up yelling about how our crew cut the grass 1/4” too short. My answer? Wait a few days, it will grow back😆 I swear they all wanted golf course level turf without realizing how many crews, processes and water it takes to achieve that. Witnessed a lot of racist and prejudice towards our Hispanic workers:(
I used to work at a regional airport with several private jets being hangered full time for some wealthier company owners. The most disturbing behaviors I noticed from them was that they act as though everyone is their employee (even though we literally weren't) and their blatant disregard for others. The worst offenders are usually the children or grandchildren. It takes time to get a Gulfstream or even a Learjet ready for flight yet we would have them sometimes call 2 hours before they wanted to go on a week or month long vacation. Keep in mind there are other job functions that NEED to happen during that time as well and we didn't always have the man power. I mostly felt bad for the pilots who had to put everything on hold for that time just to please them.
Simple appreciation appears to be alien to them, a simple please or thank you for example. Very disconnected from reality!
Is 2 hours not enough to get a Gulfstream ready? Did you explain that to the rich people?
@@bbb_888 through one ear and out the other I guess. Also on paper 2 hours sounds like a lot of time but keep in mind there were only 2 guys pulling planes out of hangers and fueling everything on the airfield. Not to mention the flight planning and prechecks the pilots needed to do before every flight.
On a slow day 2 hours might be fine but not if you have a busy schedule to keep.
Sad, but true, interesting video, this happens very often when rich children don't have good manners, their parents only teach them about money, but not respect, there are many cases like this, they don't value people for who they are, but for how much money they have, this is their real values in life, poor people or not so rich people are more human, most of the times, they have good manners, thanks so much for sharing.
Thanks so much for this video! Amazingly insightful, I had no idea this was a thing. It really is true how it's really about people living a consequence-free life and then, owing to their wealth, being able to get away with it. So the wealthy that *arent* jerks usually would be people who would have learned, in some capacity, what it's like to be on the receiving end of assholery, or attempted to be an asshole and received very real consequences to it.
If someone never has to deal with the consequences of bad behavior, they'll become assholes. They'll never realize just how important it is to factor in other people's wellbeing in their decisions because they can always discard people and pay off a new one. And then they'll be too empty on the empathy department and stuck in their ways when they realize that they're damn depressed and can trust no-one, because bad karma begets bad karma.
This episode reminds me of the TFD episode with Gretchen Rubin and just how out of touch she was with reality
Oh my god yes...that was hard to watch
Oh boy, time for a good ol' fashioned hate-watch!
@@castilater - Lol idk why but schadenfreude is kinda fun
Plenty of poor people drive luxury cars, they just live in a hovel in order to drive a luxury car so that people see them driving around in something expensive & they think they are rich. Plenty of lower socio-economic people are narcissistic, rude and entitled. It’s not just the rich. I’ve worked with plenty of people on the lower socio-economic scale while I was putting myself through college and I’ve noticed lower class people are much more entitled and vocal about “Me, me, me”. It’s all about them and what they want.
Great Video. I grew up poor but had some great opportunities to start a business and recently sold. Now I'm in the UHNW crowd... and yah.... Woof. It's a real culture shock. You should hang out by the reception area in Spas if you want to see some terrible behavior! All my friends are still regular people. However, there have been some tears at that social fabric and I have fewer friends leading to occasionally feeling isolated and abandoned by my old lower income friends. I think there is an in group / out group behavior that each class constructs that doesn't lend well to mixing or empathy between the groups.
Love your video and the topic. There are sources linked to news outlets which your explanations are based on, the sources are displayed with a shortform in your video and listed as full links in your video description. So far this is pretty great, thank you! However, it would be even better if you could link and refer to the actual studies. Funny enough, articles of some news outlets you're referring to don't even link to the original study. Thanks for the video!
I had an ex who was childhood friends with a famous hockey player. When this NHLer was still single and at the top of his game, he constantly wanted his friends with him every time he travelled to away games. My ex was often invited to join and he said he even felt pressured to join the entourage but he had to pay for his own hotel and expenses. Eventually he stopped hanging out with him altogether because he was going broke just trying to keep up with his ultra rich childhood friend. The grass wasn't greener, he said to me. Now that this player is retired, I sometimes wonder if they rekindled their friendship. And then sometimes I remind myself that I really could care less lol.
I definitely agree that rich people are more assholeish, but I do want to point out about that luxury car study that it could be due to other factors like having a high-performance engine increasing the desire to drive more recklessly or inconsiderately.
Empathy is a survival tool. Once you're rich you simply don't need it anymore as you can survive without others. At least your empathy will only be towards those that actually create value for your life.
Long story of how i got here, but 75ish percent of the people I interact with on a day to day basis have a net worth over 500K and are under 30 years old. It’s insane, INSANE cognitive dissonance that makes them so miserable. It’s the “why do I have everything but feel empty and worthless” for the exact reasons you talked about.
That’s what people mean when they say “money can’t buy happiness”. It definitely can, but it can’t replace community and genuine human connection
When they became rich, they are unable to relate to anyone. Hence they felt to have the need to show people that they are still someone who knows and able to relate .
Hi Chelsea, this is a wonderful video. Well thought out with an excellent flow. Your secondary research is well done. Thank you for sharing.
I sorta just assumed they always were.
Weirdly, my wife grew up poor, and she didn't treat wait staff well at the restaurants I took her to. She was also shocked that I tipped the amount I did. She was trained by her parents to hold on to every penny and don't spend unnecessarily. She didn't go out much and nice restaurants were a luxury she never experienced up to that point. She told me the wait staff got paid well and were just hustling and pretending so they could just make more money. She really had no idea what the wait staff at most restaurants made per hour. I told her and she didnt believe me until I asked one of our waiters to explain it to her. She was shocked.
21 years later she runs her own business, quite successfully. She became much more generous to wait staff and much more friendly with them. She's so happy when we go to restaurants to be genuinely welcomed and taken care of.
So, she was the reverse of what this video is about. Shes a great person, but she was sheltered and a bit naive when we met. I had to teach her to be generous. And now, she's better at it than I am!
I was born on hard drugs... Was taken home from the hospital by my foster family who ended up adopting me a few years later... They were upper middle class... I grew up pretty well... but when I became an adult and really started to struggle with a very serious mental illness they dropped me like a hot rock... and finally they completely showed their true colors during the pandemic... when after my father died... which no one bothered to even tell me about... then proceeded to disown, disinherit, and tell me to never contact them again after saying somehow I ruined their lives while I was homeless, eating out of dumpsters and almost freezing to death twice... But according to my eldest sister all I ever do is spread sadness and hate... I paid a mediator what was to me an enormous amount of money since I'm severely disabled and on at fixed-income... After which both my sisters found it extremely hilarious that I was such a POS... That ever paid mediator couldn't convince them to ever bother to talk to me again... Both my sisters own very nice homes, have very successful husbands and children... and they themselves have very well paid careers... I'm attempting to get my peer support specialist certification... because helping others through there struggles... Because helping people is truly my purpose, pleasure and passion...
JFC what’s wrong with your family?!
@@nervousbreakdown711 Not really sure... tbh...
Excuse me, but... what a bunch of a**holes. I'm very sorry that you had to go through such terrible times and I wish you all the best, don't let them bring you down!
4:53 because of my traumatic existence growing up, I've learned to literally read how people are feeling by simply looking at their eyes alone. And it amazes me how many people who had better childhoods lack that skill. I personally believe it's a trauma response.