You exercise your mind & body to take it off your mind by taking long walks for instance. Look for a safe hobby also available to you. They're just actors & actresses doing a job they're being paid to do just for entertainment purposes only.
There are many beautiful women doing porn to make more money, there a high risk to get stuck with a slut. I guess the good old times are gone with porn. Women can be more expensive than a super car. What make the difference is that with a super car you know where you are heading, instead with a woman is like driving at high speed, on the highway, blindfolded, you'll never know how long is going to last.
As someone who's struggled with porn consumption in the past, I love this video. You lay out everything perfectly with a comprehensive, nuanced look at this complicated topic. Thank you so much!
99% of Muslims secretly watch pornography but deny it. That's OK... It's their freedom of choice... but they suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome as a result and an extreme feeling of shame afterwards.
I was introduced as an 8 year old by a cousin. Now that I have young boys, this has been something that has really scared me in bringing them up well. Really appreciate the work you are doing here Dr. Malik.
The reality is they’re going to be introduced to it regardless, so it’s best to do your job as a parent and have a talk with them about it when you think they’re ready.
yeah, i think my first successfull masturbation i was like 9, maybe even 8? definitely under 10 back then porn was a bit harder to get, me and the boys exchanged magazines and such, we only got broadband connection in 2003 but by then i was almost 15 already you have to pay attention to your kids change in behaviour but you can't really control him, what happens is what happens, as long as they have friends, study and have a hobbie like some sport or whatever, they'll be fine
No longer believed in the stork? But the porn we had when we were young had nothing to do with the sweet porn available now. With willing ladies being pleased by their lads before getting them off.
@@vdfritzz l remember seeing p0rn for the first time under the age of 10, and it definitely messed me up. I won't even say out loud HOW it messed me up, because pretending that what happened never happened is just how l get through life as an adult. But needless to say l think l do have a slight p0rn addiction. I watch it pretty much every day for a couple hours a day, and don't think that would change even if l were in a relationship or married, but aside from that, I'm fine. Fine...ish...
MY EXPERIENCE: I was a porn user for many years until about 1 year and half ago. My regular time watching porn was weekly or 2 or 3 times a month for a few hours in a row. But, I quit using it any more and this CHANGED my life for good. I am exercising more, eating more healthy food and have a confidence approaching others and have a clear mind and so on. I NEVER EVER WATCH PORN ANY MORE. If you are using and have a guilt you should quit! I promise you will be more happy in your life!
Do you not have s,x also, I am trying to quit porn but I can't have sex since in my community it's almost impossible to get laid before marriage and I can't get married just for sex, so it's really difficult, porn has become a coping mechanism
@@anushdsouza9632 Do whatever you can, but stay away from porn. It destroys your soul! I probably write an article or a paper explaining why I believe you should NOT watching porn. Stay tuned!
@@anushdsouza9632it depends on the person but for some apart of quitting porn may also mean not masturbating anymore. Or if your in a relationship sexting masturbation is intimate and still getting your urges away without going on PH.
@@anushdsouza9632don't bother listening to these comments, in their religion u can have sex with anyone anywhere any place the hookup culture, it's better we do our stuff and not get some weird ass transmitted disease or high bodycount
This was a great video and a very difficult topic to talk about. I was molested and introduced to sex at just 8 years of age, my entire view of sex was made even worst by being exposed to pornography by age 11. As a man, I grew up thinking that what I saw in the movies was what sex was really about. I spent the next 20 years of my life addicted to pornography and it did affect my day to day living. I slumped into a deep depression because I wasn't what I imagined women wanted in a man, I wasn't endowed as those actors and when intimate I wasn't seeing the behaviour from women that I had come to see in the pornos. I can tell you with all honesty that everything Dr. Malik presented is true, I am proof. I developed self-esteem issues, lost friendships and even sabotaged possible happy and healthy relationships because I felt as if I was a failure. In the end therapy became my only solution to my problems. I really hope that more awareness is brought forth regarding this topic in order to help our young men and women who unfortunately have had their lives broken apart by this. Now, I am not saying it's bad to watch porn, but I do feel that proper sexual education needs to become a thing in our school system and in our homes, and encouragement should be given to help our youth come forth when it comes to improper behaviours from adults, even if it's coming from inside their own homes. Edit: I just realised as I read some of the comments why ppl like myself feel reluctant to come forward and speak about our experiences. I honestly felt like I was being judged by my circumstances, I didn't ask for this shit to happen to me, but I guess based on what I've read it seems like many of you see it as it was my fault in the end. You know what, you're all absolutely correct in what you have said, I guess I am just a loser cause I couldn't understand why relationships wouldn't work for me, my view was just obscured by my narrow mind, so why should I fucking care in the end, right?
"proper sexual education needs to become a thing in our school system and in our homes, and encouragement should be given to help our youth come forth when it comes to improper behaviours from adults, even if it's coming from inside their own homes." very well stated!!! I'm glad your were able to get help with your porn related problems. :)
First off, very sorry that happened to you and I hope whoever did that to you burns in eternal hell (and/or is dealt with accordingly). I know it's a hot topic, but I don't believe sex education 'should' be taught in schools. Sure, it 'can' be, but it's not their job to parent your child. This is where people have gone the wrong direction. Too many parents are doing a terrible job of educating their kids because "it's an awkward conversation"...then don't have fkn kids! Being a parent involves RAISING. YOUR. CHILD. Not like having a dog and "well if they do that, I'll just yell at em and they won't do it again." Anyways, fortunately, I grew to have a very healthy sexual awareness, both with my partners and with porn. I haven't always been a balanced individual in other areas, but I've always been in tune with my sexuality...so much so that I've always hated my body and thought I was ugly, but the second I'm naked with someone, I literally don't give a dam and just live in that moment. haha To the point of this video, it's 100% about balance and understanding how it relates to the type of personality you have. I have a very non-addictive personality, so I wouldn't know what addiction felt like if it actually happened. lol So I don't have to worry about that ever with anything I do, but I also do a good job of not letting that be the only thing I get personal satisfaction from. I have tons of hobbies, passions and work a ton, and I'm not even a 'happy' person. I'm as depressed as any of us. But I have gone the therapy and drug route and that's seemed to help a bit the past 6 months or so. Soooo yeah, that's my 2cents. :D
@@coresnap schools should teach the biological, anatomical side of reproduction. But it should be up to the parents to tell the children how to handle the ethical/emotional side of it.. something a public school can never teach you.
My wife caught me one day watching a porn channel so i quickly turned the tv to a fishing channel. On her way out she said: ‘You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!’
I would like to thank you Dr. Malik I’ve had trouble with social anxiety and pornography overuse for many years. Im trying to be pro active with my life, attending Gym 3-4 times a week and generally taking better care of myself. Your channel has been informative and an excellent resource for me 💯.
Well im 21 years old i been watching her for like 3 months now, and she makes me feel more normal and how to deal with things, appreciate what you do dr. Peace n love
"if you think you have a problem then you probably do". I can't stress this enough. I hate when ppl tell others it's bad for everyone because of their personal battle with it. I've never had a problem with porn and it hasn't negatively affected my sexual life. It didn't strip me from my confidence or made me expect too much from a partner.
I feel you. I hear a lot of people feeling bad after they masturbate to porn. These type of people should look more into themselves because they have underlying issues. Watching Porn is just exposing these problems not creating them.
Just as she said you can get “addicted” to porn, BUT, also to sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, and several other things. We also try to keep most of these away from kids. So it really is like most things in life, everything in moderation. Porn can be fun, or it can be gross. It can be appropriate or abusive. And, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
If youre in a relationship, it becomes a problem because if your parneter isnt doing what you see on video, people often cant even get it up for their partner or struggle to finish. That was the case for me. Id go like an hour and end up having to force myself to visualize some woman from some nasty video i had watched, just to finish. I even had to fake some orgasms too just so she didnt feel horrible or embarrassed. It was then when i realized the stuff was no good.
@Jonathan Soko damn sorry for what you went through. I think though that it's important to distinguish that it can be a problem in a relationship and not definitively will. Alcohol can destory lives but it won't necessarily. It depends on the level of use and whether that use has risen to the level of addiction and harm.
I really appreciate this videos Dr. Malik, today one can feel even ashamed of many things and feel bad or weird about it, you examine the topics in a way that makes someone feel normal and secure of itself, thank you for your work.
@@bestia2.063 says the one who really believes in "blackwashing" you should rethink your life pal. (This take of him is in other comment on this video)
@@bestia2.063 that is stupid and irrelevant. I remember the time when doc sam robbins was accused of not exist, that it was an AI voice made by a farma corpo to sell their shit. In the end, he was real, and although he did tried to sell his product at the end of each video, many people just slam against their asses the whole info gave in the video before the ad. The accusations hinder the information he was giving, which was nothing crazy, and totally coherent (the whole topic). Even tho rena could not be a real urologist, does that even matter to the info she is giving to us?
Really appreciate your factual and respectful treatment of all things related to sex and sexual health. I have learned allot through them and wish our society could discuss these things more openly. So many young people have a rough start due to ignorance and shaming of these topics. Keep up the great work!
2:57 Here A very big problem with this point is that for a lot, A LOT, of men, we don't have the luxury of that choice. Having a partner is becoming harder and harder for an insane amount of reasons. A woman can get sex very easily almost any time she wants it, but as a man, you can last YEARS without having a partner. Now we have to add the high levels of depresion and anxiety that suffer our society to the equation. Basically, for a lot of men, the only option is to watch porn. You have porn or you have nothing, that's all. And a lot of people tells you "just be patient, one day you'll find a partner, you'll find love". But that's not even an argument. It's not that easy.
You have totally nailed it. Women control the availability of intimacy and sex but no women i talk to about this understand it. I explain it by saying, imagine walking through the desert desperately dehydrated and men are walking around everywhere sipping on bottles of spring water wondering why you are so desperate for water. Then imagine that the only way you get any water is by asking a guy who has some to share. In the rare time they say yes you're gulping it and they can't understand the need because they can sip it whenever they want. And it's not just about sex for us either, it's the only way we get any human touch or intimacy.
Dopamine rush goes also hand in hand with social media and streaming platforms. Don't believe for a second that you're in the clear just because, instead of consuming porn, you're obsessed with an eCelebrity who every once in a while acknowledges your existance, replies/likes your comments or laughs are your jokes.
I'm so glad you put out a video like this. There are many videos that go towards "broscience", are using shame, or are riddled with misinformation. It makes it difficult to find something based in science that is trustworthy that doesn't have a end goal in mind.
this helps a lot. i was so embarrassed about it and finally i opened up and told someone because i dont want to live in that fanasty anymore. it did cause problems in my relationship but i was embarrassed to tell her. i started at 15. i dont want anything with it anymore because it does become a problem.
Thank you Doctor for all your videos. Fell into this at 6yrs, and having grown up in a religious pentecostal setting was shamed for it. Thank you for being a light for people like me.
Most religions demonize sex. It's only bad when you hurt others in the process. Other than that, sex is natural. Just turn on the discovery channel and watch some documentaries about nature and you will see that we too are a part of nature. Thing is we humans tend to overthink and analyze things until we come up with something that makes us feel better about ourselves. Religion preaches that sex is bad and sad to say that most of the leaders are the ones whoring around. Blessings to you!
@@Total_Body_Fitness_USA most but not all . My church is very unusual in these regards , but clearly against adultery. It's a refreshing departure from the professional church goes of the 70's and 80's .
My libido dropped dramatically after attending sexual therapy for 6 months and abstaining from masturbation and pornography consumption. That led to serious depression, reduced work performance, and eventually a level of apathy that seems borderline sociopathic. I’m glad you don’t go straight to shaming porn and/or masturbation as traditional psychologists or social workers seem to do. We all have different needs and it’s sometimes difficult to satisfy those needs while conforming to society.
Did it get better? I’m going through this right now. I haven’t watched porn for a month and my libido has dropped big time. I wouldn’t say I had an addiction. I’d watch maybe once a week just to curve any sexual frustration when my girl wasn’t around.
My addiction was so bad at one point that I wasn't even interested in having a real physical relationship with a woman. From my personal experience I say it's bad.
@Teddy Baker's virginity goes to the highest bidder yes it would. Society is built on business relationships, the family structure, cooperation between the people and the government and nations and nations. These relationships are not perfect, and occasionally they’re exploitative, but domineering ones historically never last. People can cut business ties, get divorced, and revolt against their governments. But none of that changes the fact that, perfect or imperfect, society is built on real physical relationships and it doesn’t care if one individual looses money or their health to perpetuate it. I think anyone would agree it’s better to live in society instead of the wild, unless you’re one of those weird anarcho-primitivists.
I'm an atypical case. I thought I had a porn addiction for years due to my consumption rate, but I didn't meet any of the criteria for addiction: escalation, life/work disruption, dependency, etc. In fact, I started losing interest in augmented performers (boob jobs, lip fillers, big hair, etc.) and preferred women who looked more natural, low-maintenance. I also started preferring more low-fi porn that didn't emphasize heavy production value beyond camerawork, and I never acquired a taste for rough or violent porn (I think I'm more put off by it now than in the past). I also really enjoy porn BTS and so I've been aware of the fake qualities of porn for a long time and never thought of the activity on screen as authentic. I'm autistic and so my issues with relationships and sex stem from personality and chemistry issues with other people, which were a problem long before puberty. I dissociate too much during interpersonal activities and porn has nothing really to do with that, it's more generalized social anxiety and insecurity, as well as severe trust issues that again, have nothing to do with porn. So for me, porn was a substitution for a real sex life that was and remains unattainable for me, which might be the reason I never got addicted; it wasn't a palliative, it was a supplement. That said, I know that it can be for some people so I harbor some guilt about it, but also relief that it hasn't happened for me. So take that for whatever data it provides.
I find what you write, interesting. I Don't want to get deep here about porn cause I don't think there is a bottom. Yes one could spend a great deal of time, analyzing it. Maybe just point out some features of it. It's not real, especially productions in established studio's. .......
I still believe it is wrong and unhealthy, one is literally watching someone you would perform coitus with, perform it with someone else. If you stop with porn, I believe, you would be better, subconsciously, with real sعx and which won't remain unattainable. It was not a thing pur ancestors had and it is harming, in my opinion.
Don’t say sex is unattainable for you just because you have autism (or any other reason). If you want it, go get it. Go to a singles bar or something. It will come to you just gotta stop with the porn and staying home and go out
@@jp05598 People in general don't sleep with people for socializing with them. You have to have character traits that stimulate arousal in tandem with your appearance. My looks are average, but my eccentricities can be extremely polarizing, and when combined with the hypervigilance towards sexual predation currently in our culture, being forward is not advisable: it's considered invasive and inappropriate. With my awkwardness, it can be construed as harassment, which it actually has in the past. Sex is unattainable for many reasons, and autism only exacerbates them, it doesn't *create* them. That was one of my points. Another was that many people--myself included--use porn to supplement the lack of sexual opportunities currently available in the culture.
@@niccolopaganini1782 As I said, my dissociative qualities existed prior to my porn consumption, so even if I quit porn, I'd still have intimacy issues relating to non-sexual interpersonal relationships.
Your videos are consistently interesting and informative. I really appreciate that you take the time (out of what must be a really busy surgeon’s life) to make these. Thank you for your excellent work.
I don't fully agree on everything she said though. If your female isn't responding to you pretty much the same like in a porn film, you need to improve your moves. Of course every woman reacts differently but none have left unimpressed so far...
You're a voice I trust. I too have problems with the violence and people believing what they are seeing is real. Fantasy, FANTASY. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with all of us.
Really appreciate your videos. Love your professionalism and the fact that you site studies and solid information. Wouldnt expect less from a Doctor, but it is still appreciated.
Bravo Dr. Malik. This is one of the most balanced presentations I have seen. In my neurological work, I see the pursuit of pleasure overrides logic and guilt constantly. I look forward to all your insights on this channel. Thank you.
Yeah, I would have handled this in a far less-decorous fashion, showing a porn star's face and talking about how the little BBC-pig works a gangbang. Saying things like, "Does't it just make you wanna hose down the cute, bratty tart!?" Not very befitting of a doctor's style, I admit.
But can’t that be with anything? I get the urge to play some Xbox , I get the urge to run , I get the urge to watch porn. Somehow I can’t quit any of it for good. Somehow I go back to it.
The religious aspect is not meant to shame you. It's just the 10 Commandments and not the 10 suggestions. If we want heaven we have to know the Commandments.
Meanwhile I've watched a dozen video of Dr Malik and I have to say: I wished I had someone like her as sex ed teacher! She has this professional yet uplifting approach that I would have needed back then. Because, let's face it, that topic is pretty much non-existent and/or poorly handled in schools around the world (and made even more awkward by the usual last row bullies and their immature comments)...
Wow! As usual, what a great educational video you have released! This is indeed a topic that many people in society sees it as a kind of taboo, not willing to have an open and frank discussion, while preferring to stay in ignorance instead to consider the view of trained professionals like you. This is an area in which we still have a long way to go because there is so much to learn. In that sense, it is great to have professionals like you that help in bringing an objective and healthy perspective of the topic. Again, I thank you for the great work you do in educating us by sharing your knowledge. Kudos!!!
Don't be a Sycophantic Teacher's Pet Luis...it won't get u any closer 2 Dr M's pie. She's happily married w/2 children...respect that! Lol🙃...Most of my ridiculous & crass comments are 4 entertaining myself & subs...but I actually truly respect Dr M & her opines, whether I agree or not. In fact I'm writing this to entertain myself as well...but watch ur 6 Dr M...Lu maybe a 🤪!...lol🤣👍
@@MA-lq6eb Well MOA, while I don’t think I need to explain myself to you, I still will tell you that I do respect Dr. M and what she does. As I’m also a happily married man with kids, I have no special interest in her like you are pretending with your comments. You really don’t know me, and my comments are my honest an sincere opinion on what she does (never disrespectful) and I don’t think she needs anyone to speak on her behalf like you are doing. If you write to entertain your self, have fun! 😜👋🏼
@@LuisTorres-le3xz That's Mr. MOTHEORY 2 U sir/madam! And I speak 4 myself...not 4 anyone else...I'm sure they can take care of themselves(but really just a heads up Dr M🤫). 4 a Man, being married is irrelevant...too many cheaters 2 count out there (I suppose this newer gen of woman would 🦶 the bill quite nicely as well). I'm not quite sure u r a man, per se...I've never heard a "Real Man" say they're "Happily Married" speaking 2 another Man😏. Is there a such thing for a man?...happiness in a "legalized marriage"?...Maybe in some fantastic, romanticized, immature dream from my naive youth...then ur abruptly waken up 2 the unholy reality of misery & despair!😥...Or maybe it's possible 4 a cuckhold or simp 2 find it there?? lol😅 idk...really idc anymore either...2 each their own my fellow human.🙃👋
@@LuisTorres-le3xz Kudos to you as well. There's always some jerk who turns a loving comment into an x-rated movie. Sometimes you just need to stand up for yourself. I also agree with what you said. I've learned a lot about sexuality from her. Have a great day.
Knowledgeable about the existence of porn during my teen years. Watched it the 1st time, and then on, in my mid-late 20s. It’s been off and on since or seldom times. Few times I did have urges. Then I’m just: “Brain-please stop. I’m just trying to play some Halo”. Couple times my mind won lol. I just get it over with.😅
Porno address for a Urologic? Sound like go to fix your car in a car wash... Porno problems its more issue for the spiritual or feeling or sensitivity no like a problems for erectly disfunction. Watch Porno its more easy rewards (dopamine) buy its a false rewards because the body and the spirit need to be touched with all other sensitive like smell and touch to the other people the sensation is so far away, watch porn it opposite to real love and it's different kind of sensation of the dopamine left free. Bud you always are free to take the better decision!
@@dalayzie1360 Oh, so you've never played ODST or Reach? I HIGHLY recommend getting the MCC so you can play them, their campaigns are REALLY good, especially Reach.
I've never had an issue with porn in my teen years. In fact, I'm what one would describe as a "late bloomer", because I got into sexual intercourse...pretty late, compared to most of my male peers. Many of my classmates were already watching porn religiously and masturbating in the 5th grade. I tried watching it a couple of times, but I felt like I was watching "The Bold And The Beautiful" or some other show that old people enjoy. It felt boring after a while. I had no libido whatsoever, and this even caused me, for a good while, to think that I'm asexual, because my peers considered me weird, like...how can a heterosexual teenager not be interested in sex during puberty, your hormones are supposed to be off the rails and some such. They said I'm a closeted homosexual, some local homophobic dudes even ganged up and wanted to beat me up (why they were so passionate about MY sex life...to this day, I have no idea), and I started considering it, but...much like I wasn't interested in women, I wasn't interested in men, either, so...scratch that. It wasn't until almost half a year after I turned 18 that I had intimate dreams and had a desire to masturbate. My first time was when I was 22. Ever since, I have consumed porn in small doses, and I have great distaste for the professional Brazzers-type stuff, which is often humiliation-based and a good half of them deal with the step-sibling fetish. I like the more gentle, realistic, some might even describe it as...romantic type of pornography, usually called "women's pornography", due to the belief most men like dominant, humiliating porn whereas most women like something that more accurately depicts sex with a partner. Whether that's really the case is a whole other topic. I also prefer amateur stuff, as it's way more realistic, more grounded, there aren't as many "movie tricks", and while there can be some roleplaying, it's usually a real couple having real sex and filming it. Watching porn has also helped me find out about some fetishes I didn't know I had, so...getting to know your own tastes better. Me and my sexual partners generally use short videos, links to videos in porn sites, photos, or GIFs (thank heavens I'm typing it so we won't spend another hour arguing about the pronunciation) to illustrate poses and stuff we like, even if it's not a 100% accurate depiction, it's much easier to show it and explain any correction than to depict it in words. Generally, when I masturbate, I don't watch porn, I watch stuff me and a sexual partner have sent to each other or even filmed together, and even when I watch porn, I'm thinking of a real person I'm intimate with and imagining it's them. And no, even if that's not a person you have official sexual relations with, it's not "telepathic rаре" if you think about them and masturbate. I can't even believe some people can say this with a straight face. If you've been rареd or stalked, so you perceive anything and everything as crossing your boundaries, you're in dire need of therapy.
@@azdaazdazda3385 I feel like the only reason you're saying this is because I'm long-winded. My comment, which you probably didn't even read in its entirety, isn't only about porn. Care to elaborate what exactly makes you think that? But please, "You talk a lot about it" or some other cop out like that, isn't an argument.
Someone that isn’t 100% on the side of “let’s ban porn forever”? Someone with a brain that realizes there’s nuance and nothing is black and white. Kudos doc!
Also, someone that doesn't resort to flinging the weak "coomer" insults at you(like most smoothbrains among the Anti-porn crowd do, especially the bible-thumping cuckservative types) if you see porn and sex as a gray area(rather than something black-and-white).
@@Mr.Ditkovich. Bad news for you: Porn isn’t going anywhere. There’s too much demand for it and the industry is worth billions. Better work on breaking that addiction.
@@4uto_4ddict If we banned it now, we would reduce overall consumption of porn nationwide by about 95-98%. That's a MASSIVE step in the right direction. What makes it so bad today is that you can access it without any hurdles. It's not like before where you had a still image in a magazine, a vhs tape that you can't click and skip through forwards or backwards easily, or you go a theater with other people in public watching that. Now it's as simple as you have a phone, you have internet, and you can access an unlimited amount of content within a few clicks.
Been watching porn for decades. Never ever felt I had to see it, or "hooked"... I've learned a lot from watching it...I'm sure it affects everybody differently
Personally for me, it just made sex boring. Which is bizarre as hell to experience, that id rather watch people screw while i beat instead of actually being intimate with someone. i started very young though..around 5-6. That could possibly have alot to do with it, but ya it really does effect everyone differently. Some people like myself just cant watch that shit.
@@PAJA63 Drinking coffee in the morning is actually bad for your health! When you wake up your are already dehydrated and with coffe on top of that you become even more dehydrated! Dehydration is the fast route to ageing!
@@armingleiner5292 No Armin. I used that term as that is what American society labels all porn. I used it only as a descriptive term. I do not believe it is taboo.
Hi Doc, I am personally not into porn. I much prefer love stories. Call me a prude,which I am not, but pornography leaves me feeling empty where romance has the opposite effect. To each their own I guess. Your videos are excellent. Thank you!
I only started watching it in middle age. I was curious as there was more in the media about it being addictive and how it affects young lives. I was surprised how easy it is to access online. 😮 So far I’ve not had a problem with it. Could I give it up.. possibly not now unless my lifestyle changed. I could go a week or even up to a month without it. Like anything else online, I choose what I watch so I stay away from what I don’t like or is violent or what I wouldn’t do myself. Mostly I enjoy married couples who are clearly in love, putting it all out there online, their choice and 💯 consensual. I also find it educational. I usually watch with the sound muted and only on my own devices and so far, my own Wifi data. I used to love romance stories, still do, plus movies. I guess I’ve progressed into it. Maybe it is sexual maturity I don’t know. It doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t go around talking about but would be open to having a mature conversation with others. It is a contentious topic.
Eagerly waiting on that next video 😬 I have definitely been battling pornography addiction for many years. Maybe 7 or more now. I often relapse within days as it just seems easier to accept porn into my life than avoid it. It's everywhere. I can't escape it. There is no way to fully avoid pornography without leaving the internet. What I need are coping mechanisms that work.
Watching pornography is no different than watching sports on TV, or watching movie, in which you get to see how other people are doing things instead of yourself. Why are we making such a big deal about it? Of course, professional athletes are playing sports much better than we the spectators can, but does watching sports destroy our enthusiasm for playing sports ourselves? No, watching sports actually enhances our desire and proficiency at playing sports ourselves, and the same is true for pornography. Similarly, watching a movie showing unrealistic stunts and situations will have similar effects on our real life, and most of us have no problem separating unreal movie actions from real-life.
@@NorthernThaiGardenGuy Taboo is defined as “the prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behaviour is either too sacred and consecrated or too dangerous and accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake.” Please tell me what you are talking about that makes porn Taboo?
Since prostate cancer is the 2nd leading cause among men, and many men are not married, I say if Pornography enables healthy men to masturbate, the porno certainly has saved millions of men's lives. I have a friend who has a enlarged prostrate gland and 21 radiation treatments did not help him lose the necessary catheter and he ended up needing physical therapy to take care of the muscle atrophy. I am 4 months shy of my 80th birthday and do not have the problems he has. At the same time I appreciate the negative aspects illuminated in this informative video.
The perspective was well rounded. I like the moral incongruence mention. When someone says something is bad, we want it more. If we remove the bad from it, it's not as taboo to us.
@@opai1821 Paul Allen's opine is No Good...it cost him an Axe in the head bcuz he had a better Biz Card & could get a Reservation @ Dorsia...when Pat couldn't.
Pornography isn't just about the pleasure's of conformity and the importance of friends, but it's also a personal statement on the sex working industry itself. Hey Paul!!!
Love your professionalism on such matters! You explain in clear articulate ways for all to understand! It's about time for these subjects you discuss!!!!! Thank you Doctor
I started watching at a very young age and i am 15 now, i decided to stop it because the last 1-2 years i started feeling really sad after doing it and i decided to stop. I tried many times but because i was addicted i couldnt manage to quit but then i took it more seriously and i have managed to not do it for 20 days (yes i count them), trust me, the key to quit porn is to resist on the first few days then it will be pretty easy you are going to see that.
Keep up the effort and it's ok to stumble so long as you look long term for the journey you're on and the improvement being porn free will be to your life and overall goals. I find having a person I trust as accountability to confide in really helpful in keeping me on track.
same, I'm 15 and I've been trying to quit for almost two years now, back then i didn't think much about porn, i thought it was ok and i could just leave it anytime, it wasn't until i tried to quit when my brain went to desperate measures to keep me fapping and i realized the complexity of the issue
Another great subject that NEEDED to be talked about. That's the biggest problem and you addressed it, the lack of proper sexual education which in my humble opinion, should start in the 8th grade. Culture and family has the biggest effect upon a person, then there's life's circumstances as well. So it's really difficult to say when pornography is good or bad. In the USA, women are covered up, in Europe the ads and beaches are 'topless', so there an example of cultural norms. We in the US go to extremes on everything, either to the Left or to the Right, so the eternal fight on sensitive issues continues. Just continue to watch these videos, educate yourself, and make your own choices.
Women are definitely not more covered up in the US than in Europe. The fact you censor the f word and can show a nipple on day-time TV doesn't mean your content isn't vulgar or pornographic. Cardi B won numerous awards with a song titled and thoroughly describing a "Wet-Ass Pussy". American adverts are extremely suggestive and far more present on public than European ads. Yes, there's good number of prudish/modest people in America, but mainstream culture is just as explicit as in Europe, if not more.
My life changed when I accept that porn was never helpful for me or the people involved in it. It teaches a fantasized abusive sex education. I realized it's love that I need not porn or hookups.
Also.. I'd like to add something. It's true that porn isn't real, but we try to copy what they do. So, after all, porn does become real. Sometimes, it works...and the girl likes what you're doing to her (due to what you learned in porn) sometimes, well... It doesn't. Anyhow, we learn a lot of what we know about sex, from porn. I'm not defending porn, but it does give you a good sense of what sex can be like. Note: respect your partner. (Always)
Well, extreme blowjobs is something usually only high status men get or very skilled lovers and also,the women need above average libido to be able to enjoy it even with the alphas. So we can say that the Sex shown there is only representing about 5% of the population what they do in bed.
I’ve watched porn, and don’t have a problem myself. But I’ve known people who may. I just may forward this to a couple friends. This video is insightful and above all approachable. Very, very much appreciated! 👏
Great video. I think balance is 🔑 like everything else. Too much of something is not good. Much of the symptoms in your video spoke about what happens when we overindulge. However, abstaining completely due to false belief systems, projected shame or being told it’s wrong is just as bad, if not worse. Too much = Regret from not managing all things in life well. Too much here takes away from another source. Too little = Pent up frustration, resentment, anxiety and stress. Too little and too much are both loose terms based on variables of completely different people. I try to follow my heart. Sometimes I find pornography/masturbation to be a very great form of self love. It can even be a form of meditation and pleasure. I find for myself that it’s best to measure each urge with what else also needs to be done. Then I make the choice and ‘handle’ it. We must stop people pleasing and burying ourselves with guilt and shame that only imprison us in lower levels of consciousness.
I applaud your intro and video. It's nice to see an intelligent female (not using "female" here to be sexist, but to illustrate that women know about and like sex too - and if you had a male explaining this same video, we'd just be "defending porn because we're male") explain the pros and cons, versus what rhetoric is being distributed out there that only men use porn, or have biological attraction - and generalize and shame us all as the same for having these urges, being attracted to physical characteristics, and porn only objectifies women and that's how all men will treat them. I personally can tell the difference between movies from Hollywood and real life - and pornography is the sex version of Hollywood. I think people really do need to communicate when they are trying to live up to porn's expectations. Real life is smellier, messier, imperfect, often rushed, off-sync ... so many things - but also beautiful and intimate, and this is where the couple needs to talk about what is going on.
Love this comment. Tip for the future so you don’t have to use the parenthesis: say “[an] intelligent, female perspective”. That way intelligent isn’t describing female, but rather the POV. Additionally, it separates and acknowledges that female perspectives can differ from male perspectives, are just as valuable, and can also be intelligent or dumb.
Thank you for the consolidated pros and cons on this subject. I specifically enjoyed hearing the statistics and caveats of the studies. Most often in the past, People get hung up on their moral views without making it to the science of the situation. Explicitly relating the information that Pornography is contrived and edited like any other video entertainment is helpful ( "Luke, I am your Father" Never really happened either.), This is a point I like to make when discussing the subject. I have a theory about the attraction of topless bars that is close to this. Be well and Good Journey. Richie
Great segment. With me , I used to drink and smoke. After a while, I just had enough and no longer enjoy both and I just gave both up and never went back. The same with porn. I now find it boring.
years ago, a woman I was dating told me that she actually preferred vibrators over men - her reasoning was that men needed support, feeding, attention, all of that, while a BOB just needs batteries and a dab of KY... needless to say, it ended shortly after (like, we didn't even get through the closing credits of the DVD) that...
Uhhh . . . well, if the only thing she's considering is simple sexual satisfaction, she might be right about most men. Of course, I personally think that important part of sexual satisfaction is actually having someone to talk to, hug, kiss, hold, that kind of thing. Perhaps someday she may change her point of view and want more from sex than a sex toy can give her :)
Well said, just a thought though, I feel like a lot of people are interpreting your presentation as being the norm for porn viewers and not being fringe case scenarios like is the reality with actual porn addiction. I am seeing a LOT of comments here justifying no-fap, no- porn, often religious messages around this. Maybe it would be good to establish more clearly that addiction isn't the norm? The level of disinformation here in the comments is pretty gnarly.
The religious messages especially are destructive on the whole narrative of porn. Not all of it is bad, and can be educational for partners to try new things out. Sex is literally a part of a happy, healthy relationship, and deeming it as taboo in [insert religion here] is probably not the way to tackle it as a whole. Like many pleasurable things, it needs regulation, not restriction. Check mate all you prudes out there. 😂💪
@@richardgene4231 I don’t think sex is limited to just “marriage”. All long term relationships need it. If you or your partner is not comfortable right now, then fine, but don’t limit it to just marriage. It can be beneficial, not destructive, if you and your partner know good habits. There is in no way shape or form anything deemed destructive about sex that’s been tied to the idea that it’s done before marriage. The real causes, are your irresponsibility, and lack of self control. Period.
@@___solar___ the religious messages are a waste of time. If people understood the actual science behind porn, it would do a MUCH better job deterring them. Sex is healthy, but porn isn't sex. Porn is a literal drug, and by saying there are pros to it "physicians" like this one are doing the exact same thing that doctors lobbied by the tobacco companies in the 60s did
addiction IS the norm. The irony with porn is that it tricks you into thinking you're not addicted until you KNOW you're addicted. And at that point, you'll wish you could go back in time and never start
Very objective study on the issue. I'm just relieved because this video only shows that pornography is not only a moral issue, but also affects the whole being of a person.
Great explanations. Pornography is just another thing like drugs, food, alcohol or activity that effects dopamine production. It is so easy to go overboard on anything when we get that great feeling from the dopamine experience.
Rena I'd like to thank you for your videos. I've found them incredibly informative and helpful. I am a 57 year old woman who has enjoyed a very healthy sex life, until recently. My partner is a 46 year old man who suffers from ED. We have been together for 5 years. As far as I know he has suffered from ED for over 10 years. Our sex life started quite good, but recently (past 2 years approx) has deterioratedto almost nothing. When Itry to discuss he becomes very defensive and angry blaming his ED. I have encouraged him to seek medical help which he has, unfortunately medication is not working. In the past 18 months I find that he is refusing almost all my advances instead opting for porn and masturbation. I have asked him to "share" the porn with me in the hopes it will help stimulate, sadly this is not the case and I find him less interested in me and more interested in his "individual pursuits". I found your channel and have forwarded some episodes to him with hopes that he will find them helpful also. I'm sincerely hopeful. Thankyou again for your content, please continue, you are helping people 🤗
Your predicament is a common problem with aging couples when one or both have a past porn addiction. People become aroused by images of young nubile sexual partners and cannot become aroused with their older less nubile partners.
Try a plant based diet with no other shit like alcohol or smoking for your husband, after I went plant based over the last 3 years my veins have cleared out, blood flow is good. And I grew an extra inch haha. Sometimes it’s hard to contain the dog a problem that I have never experienced before I suppose I’m just a healthy young man.
Thank You, Dr. Malik. This was a great discussion of pornography, a subject that ranges from good quality reasonable videos to the really trashy, violent and abusive videos that are on the web. I am often amazed that watching a good video expressing loving affections between 2 consenting adults is not acceptable, but a video or video game of people graphically blowing each other to pieces is totally acceptable. I guess society still has some learning to do. Thanks again.
Great point, Steve, and I totally agree with you. Watching pornography is no different than watching sports on TV, or watching movie, in which you get to see how other people are doing things instead of yourself. Why are we making such a big deal about it? Of course, professional athletes are playing sports much better than we the spectators can, but does watching sports destroy our enthusiasm for playing sports ourselves? No, watching sports actually enhances our desire and proficiency at playing sports ourselves, and the same is true for pornography. Similarly, watching a movie showing unrealistic stunts and situations will have similar effects on our real life, and most of us have no problem separating unreal movie actions or situations from real-life.
@@trungson6604 Interesting comments. I would like to add that some who watch professional sports sometimes try to emulate what they see. For example, Stephen Curry is well known for shooting 3-point shots like nobody's business. What do I see on outdoor basketball courts? People trying to shoot 3-point shots like nobody's business. What do I see in college basketball? Players passing the ball to the three-point shooter, even though they have a clear path to the basket. Why? Because that's what the Warriors do a lot. So, I agree with your point but I think the "imitation" or "emulation" part changes things a bit. If we extend that to pornography, I think we have to be VERY careful. One of the points Dr Malik makes about the people seen in porn videos is true: they are people with exceptional traits (penis size, breast size, physique, etc). However, with the video quality of consumer level technology, a lot of amateur porn is widely available. In these cases, we've got people with "normal" bodies engaging in various sexual acts and/or exploring fantasies. If I now see "regular" people doing sexual stuff that turns me on, am I going to start imitating or emulating that? Sure, I'm not the muscle-bound stud with the 11-inch erection, but if I see someone with a small beer gut "getting it on", maybe I'll be able to relate or "connect" with what I'm seeing more and be more motivated to engage in those acts, myself. None of that is inherently problematic, but I think it's REALLY important to keep in mind how broad of a term "pornography" is. It doesn't refer just to professionally produce content anymore. In any event, thanks for your post! Your comments got me thinking. :)
The issue is how the hell would you know if the porn was made ethically and not because some female was being pressured into doing something she didn't want to from an agent and getting yelled at for it? How do you know they weren't taken advantage of or you watching it would result in her getting addicted to the validation, fame and money that comes with it until she realizes maybe it's something that they could take back and not do anymore but that stuff stays around forever with creeps remaining attached to her? How do you know they aren't outright trafficked? Point is porn is a scourge and we shouldn't dehumanize people for going into it but let's also not pretend like most of these stars end up happy or continue to do it. There's a reason most want to get a way out because it more often than not makes everyone miserable
@@xxxthwagdrakexxx4672 Exactly. And id coming out more and more, how much was porn a part of the "casting couch" for those trying to break in to the Hollywood circle? There are very realistic interactive battle video games. Perhaps that technology will slide over into the adult entertainment sector as well?
Well, I was opened to porn at 14. But I’m glad that I’m smart enough to understand that this all is a performance played by models with unnatural shapes of body. The biggest good thing I got from the porn is I got interested in anatomy and physiology and actually learned much about it from Wikipedia and other sites, not just the videos.
These symptoms seem very similar to drug addiction, although unlike drug addiction pornography seems to affect individual drastically to a more emotional stand point. Which is pretty interesting. I do appreciate how you said that if you think you have a problem you do, As long as it doesn't negatively affect yourself or others then it isn't a problem.
Well, the damage it does to our ability to become aroused is about the same as cocaine. My lady couldn’t turn me on anymore with her naked body despite having no,fears of dealing with her. The dopamine reaction just wasn’t there, the dopamine receptors too much desensitized by too much overstimulation of superhumanly large breasts and superhumanly intense orgasms. I really don’t understand why the author of this video didn’t talk about the millions and millions of men in America who cannot have six anymore because they need too much stimulation and their lady is often not good enough for such extreme stimulation to make the body properly respond.
It's even stronger than drug addiction. That's what makes it more dangerous in some ways. Our civilization is collapsing because of how widespread porn addiction is.
This is an important topic. We get a lot of opinions from uneducated or unprofessional sources. Even some of those sources have biases. Sex is a normal part of our lives in its various forms. Being open and clear about sexuality and sexual practices is something that needs to be liberated from religion and politics. It should be talked about in a normal rational dialogue.
Great upload Dr. Malik. One of your best. My only concern is what the alternative to porn is? If porn is the alternative to sex. Then what is the replacement for porn? Biscuits? Latin? Blockchain/coding? Priesthood? As a lifelong user, and prefer it to sex, I can't see that women are helping men reduce prostate cancer? And if sex is so good, then, why aren't more men having it? I just LOVE porn. It never says no. It never bullshits me or has excuses. Porn never demands I wear a condom or puts fear in me that I will get the girl pregnant. Porn also never can give me an STI or even charge me with rape 27 years later. (Alyssa Milano, Rose McCowan, Christine Blase-Ford, etc etc...). Porn never gives me performance anxiety, and it never requires foreplay or post-coital cuddles. Porn is free, readily available and dynamic. NO WOMAN could ever in a million years compete with these notions. Besides, beyond a vagina that isn't being used, what value do women have? What pray tell, exactly, are women offering men besides headaches, drama, bullshit and false accusations? Please. Change my mind. Thanks!
The thing about porn is. When you are not in a relationship or doesnt have an intimate partner, porn basically becomes your sexual outlet source. If you abstain from that in this case, youll feel depressed and get emotional withdrawals like an addict. Thats why this doesnt apply to ppl who have sex regularely, cause they have another way of „letting it out“. Thats what many ppl dont get, and why some ppl (males) struggle and some dont. Iam not a doctor or smth but my therapist kind of schooled me about it. It does make sense tho.
About 10 years ago I ended up working for an porn forum. At the time I was watching every day and had an extensive dvd collection. My job was to check links that were submitted by forum users. I had to make sure the links were legit, they didn't lead to viruses, or contain illegal content. I also had to make sure there was no duplicated content. That meant that I had to watch every video clip and check every picture. I did this for 8 hours a day Monday thru Friday and by the 2nd month of doing it I was sick of it. I quit that job as soon as I could. I ended up not watching porn for roughly 2 years. I barely watch now and that aforementioned dvd collection is down to 1 or 2 that are buried in a closet.
Personally I think there’s a lot more consequence to the use of porn and it’s impact on someone’s overall health. Porn has been designed to rewire the brain. It’s starts out as something like every other day then eventually turns to nightly use. I’ve had days where the thought of even just watching a video clouds my head and causes distraction. It also tends to radically change your perception of sex and ruins your expectations since almost if not every pornographic video is fake and scripted by professionals. There’s a plethora of studies conducted by brilliant minds like that of Jordan B. Peterson that point out the dangers of pornography and hookup culture. It might be good for stress relief and zoning out but the drawbacks ask more from you than what they offer. You wake up drained, your brain is always hung up on watching porn or thinking about sex, in some cases your hormone levels alter significantly, your expectations of sex change and you often become desensitised to sexual sensations that used to make you feel pleased. Of course these are only prevalent in people who use porn excessively but it’s a slippery slope, it starts out as 3 times a week then before you know it you’re hooked like a basehead. If you read the whole comment thank you for your time, feel free to reply and we can have an adult discussion in the comments 🙂
I watched a lot of amateur porn probably cause I don't have a significant other to do anything with etc. I watched too much in the past and sometimes feel ashamed and guilty, but I don't think I am evil. Edit: Scripted porn is less interesting to me. It seems too over the top. I like seeing couples together or solo content if I am being brutally honest.
I'm the same, I only watch amateur normal couples, I can't stand the scripted stuff... I only watch it to masturbate to become I don't have a partner and feel lonely porn and masturbation gets out of feeling lonely
@@ericalockhart-destroyerofe3751 I know your question is not directed towards me, but I recently had the same questioned asked by the girl I am dating. Oddly, she prefers professionally produced videos and I prefer amateur. My answer to her was no, not at all. I think pro porn is ridiculously produced and I cannot relate to it, but amateur is more like real life and made by people who want to show off a bit which is what makes it sexy. And it is a turn on when it is obvious the people involved are having a good time and enjoying their experience.
Very important video, imo if a person spends too much time of each day watching porn, then it's an addiction, but if it's only a couple times a week, for around only the time needed to reach one orgasm, then it's ok, it's normal. And lastly, tbh, i hate the "professional" porn, it's too fake for me.
I do think pornography ruins healthy sexual relationship with unrealistic expectations. Nothing about porn is real and the subject is so taboo that people don't learn to associate it in a healthy a way. Best thing I did in my 20's was quit watch porn.
Porn is just watching people have sex on the internet correct? So how can watching porn be bad ? I can understand it being bad if your partner wants to have sex with you but you rather watch porn lol I get that .
What do you mean nothing is real? You think it is CGI? Or do you mean that the pizza delivery man isnt a real pizza delivery man. What a braindead take, ofc the sex is real. 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏿♀️
@@coryleblanc well, only 1% of women have such incredible sexual appetite that they would quickly blow a guy without significant emotional connection like in porn. Only 1% of women have similar sexual lifes like in porn but even most of those of the 1% needed at least a slight emotional connection before wild fucking and intense blowing.
pros: temporary gratifacation that temporarily prevents sexual thought. cons: possible addiction, weird fetishes, increased standards (maybe), and increased chance of getting sexual thoughts the next day. from my personal experience.
Ever since I went pornfree I feel so much more alive and I can actually talk to girls like a normal human being because porn abuse has fried my brain completely so I am unable to masturbate now without it. Surprisingly it was the easiest addiction to break for me considering how avid user I was and how many years I wasted watching it.
Rena, you look distractingly lovely in this video. Your makeup is perfection and the lighting, makes your face look radiantly beautiful. “if you think you have a problem, you probably do “ made m3 laugh out loud. That should be tattooed on the forehead of every hum being on this planet since almost all of them lack self -awareness. You’re such a treasure.😘❤️
Good and interesting video. I've used porn my entire adult life (I'm near 40). My honest assessment is that it doesn't cause any obvious difficulty or problem in my life. I'm happily married and enjoy sex with my wife. My wife also enjoys porn (although less often than I do). It hasn't affected me in my work or other areas of my life. I don't look to porn for education about sex, or to fill up an emptiness in my life. To the extent that I have experienced depression or anxiety (some), those problems don't seem to have any connection to sex or porn. But... That said, I am more and more skeptical of the role of porn in my life. I think the main reason is that I just find it overly time consuming. That may be a sign that I've become desensitized to porn, but it doesn't manifest in the form of me wanting more aggressive or disturbing porn. I still like vanilla porn (no interest in anal sex, even). Some of my favorite porn doesn't even involve partner sex. I'm just more and more particular about it. And having particular tastes means more time involved in satisfying said tastes. I just find it tiresome to look for the stuff I like, because most of what is out there is not even close. In some way I find it analogous to browsing for new shows or movies to watch on various streaming platforms. (I find all the Marvel movies and Fast and Furious type stuff to be boring beyond all understanding... and so much porn is similarly ridiculous as far as my tastes are concerned - no judgment on anyone else for liking what they like. I just don't like most entertainment that's out there. So it takes a long time to find the things I do like, and the search becomes tiresome. So, increasingly I just enjoy my collection of favorite porn that I've accumulated over the last few years, and spend less time bothering to look for anything new. It's hard to say if a professional would diagnose me as having some kind of problematic porn habits. I've certainly been accused of it by random people on the internet when I have discussed my pro-porn/pro-sex views. I don't feel that I have a problem. But I guess I would say that I just find the "hobby" less enjoyable than I used to - more trouble than it's worth. I still watch porn, and have no immediate plans to stop... but I am cutting back a bit. Sorry if my long winded story is annoying to anyone, I just wanted to add my own true experience and thoughts to the mix.
@@Max4Z That may be. We have to be clear what "a problem" with porn looks like. How do we decide what is a problem? And once we've decided, we have to consider what the proper solution should be. The solution should not cause worse problems than it solves, and it also shouldn't needlessly impinge on people's basic freedom of choice. Is porn use a problem when it causes a person to miss work? To fail in school? To have relationship problems? And what is the solution? What if the level of porn use that causes one person a relationship issue has no ill effect on the next person's relationship? And how do we know that porn use isn't a consequence of a failing relationship, rather than the cause? I ask these questions because I'm interested in the end-game for people who tend towards an anti-porn perspective. Is the goal to decide when it is OK to masturbate, and what is acceptable to view for the purposes of masturbation? Are these views meant to be imposed on others?
@@nickmasters8474 I think the main problems with porn are that they are So Accessible And also that they stimulate dopamine too much cause of the never ending novelty aspect of it
@@Max4Z Alright. So how do you decide that porn "stimulates dopamine" too much? What is a sign that a person has released too much dopamine? And why is this a problem? Why is it a problem that porn is so accessible? Is it a concern that, for instance, young children can get hold of porn too easily? I would tend to agree. I think parents should take steps to ensure kids don't get hold of material (including other entertainment forms like very violent movies and so on) that is not appropriate for their age. I also think parents need to keep an open dialog with kids about sexual matters (in an age appropriate way). Just as a good parent will make sure kids understand that violent entertainment is not meant to reflect reality, or serve as a guide for our own behavior, parents should teach their children (at some point, not necessarily early on), that pornography is adult fantasy - it's not meant to depict reality or serve as a model of ideal sexual life. But yeah, I do think it's unfortunate that kids get hold of hardcore pornography so easily these days. I'm not necessarily against teenagers looking at porn (personally), but I do think parents need to have a good educational dialog with their kids about these things.
@@nickmasters8474 why is release too much dopamine in the way of instant gratification a problem? Well first inform ourself of how the human brain works maybe then it can start to make a little more sense. Not trying to sound like an ass, but it’s good to study the human mind and why these things are bad in order to get the full idea
Thanks for taking on this difficult subject. What is "porn" and what is just "adult" movies? Seems like a subjective call to define the difference if there is one. And I totally agree that if you think it's a problem...it probably is. So the problem is your mind's programing as to what is "dirty" or something you should be ashamed of? No shame is my motto, but rather open, honest with no secrets. Life is a learning experience no?
How do you break the addiction of pornography? Check out my video talking about it: ruclips.net/video/E0AZMtVTIjk/видео.html
There is no good reason to break my addiction ;)
You exercise your mind & body to take it off your mind by taking long walks for instance. Look for a safe hobby also available to you. They're just actors & actresses doing a job they're being paid to do just for entertainment purposes only.
Prayed for holy spirit, thought about all the people I hurt (especially due to PIED), haven't looked back since
@Itx. Wajeeh yes, it makes you insensitive
There are many beautiful women doing porn to make more money, there a high risk to get stuck with a slut. I guess the good old times are gone with porn. Women can be more expensive than a super car. What make the difference is that with a super car you know where you are heading, instead with a woman is like driving at high speed, on the highway, blindfolded, you'll never know how long is going to last.
As someone who's struggled with porn consumption in the past, I love this video. You lay out everything perfectly with a comprehensive, nuanced look at this complicated topic. Thank you so much!
How did you manage to recover?
@@saitaro It takes 1-3 days
99% of Muslims secretly watch pornography but deny it.
That's OK... It's their freedom of choice... but they suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome as a result and an extreme feeling of shame afterwards.
@@greatspirit 99.9% of Muslims do.
@@greatspirit How do you know this?
And why are there so many predator priests in the catholic churches?
I was introduced as an 8 year old by a cousin. Now that I have young boys, this has been something that has really scared me in bringing them up well. Really appreciate the work you are doing here Dr. Malik.
The reality is they’re going to be introduced to it regardless, so it’s best to do your job as a parent and have a talk with them about it when you think they’re ready.
yeah, i think my first successfull masturbation i was like 9, maybe even 8? definitely under 10
back then porn was a bit harder to get, me and the boys exchanged magazines and such, we only got broadband connection in 2003 but by then i was almost 15 already
you have to pay attention to your kids change in behaviour but you can't really control him, what happens is what happens, as long as they have friends, study and have a hobbie like some sport or whatever, they'll be fine
And it wounded you?
No longer believed in the stork? But the porn we had when we were young had nothing to do with the sweet porn available now. With willing ladies being pleased by their lads before getting them off.
@@vdfritzz l remember seeing p0rn for the first time under the age of 10, and it definitely messed me up. I won't even say out loud HOW it messed me up, because pretending that what happened never happened is just how l get through life as an adult. But needless to say l think l do have a slight p0rn addiction. I watch it pretty much every day for a couple hours a day, and don't think that would change even if l were in a relationship or married, but aside from that, I'm fine. Fine...ish...
Have I watched porn? Yes.
Would I celebrate the collapse of the porn industry? Also yes.
Underrated comment✊🏼💯😂
Give this man a medal
Sadly porn industry will never die.
I heard the industry is bad but porn itself is amazing homemade stuff good stuff
Good for you
MY EXPERIENCE: I was a porn user for many years until about 1 year and half ago. My regular time watching porn was weekly or 2 or 3 times a month for a few hours in a row. But, I quit using it any more and this CHANGED my life for good. I am exercising more, eating more healthy food and have a confidence approaching others and have a clear mind and so on. I NEVER EVER WATCH PORN ANY MORE. If you are using and have a guilt you should quit! I promise you will be more happy in your life!
Do you not have s,x also, I am trying to quit porn but I can't have sex since in my community it's almost impossible to get laid before marriage and I can't get married just for sex, so it's really difficult, porn has become a coping mechanism
@@anushdsouza9632 Do whatever you can, but stay away from porn. It destroys your soul! I probably write an article or a paper explaining why I believe you should NOT watching porn. Stay tuned!
@@anushdsouza9632it depends on the person but for some apart of quitting porn may also mean not masturbating anymore. Or if your in a relationship sexting masturbation is intimate and still getting your urges away without going on PH.
@@anushdsouza9632don't bother listening to these comments, in their religion u can have sex with anyone anywhere any place the hookup culture, it's better we do our stuff and not get some weird ass transmitted disease or high bodycount
Bro I am addicted for 3 years 😢
This was a great video and a very difficult topic to talk about. I was molested and introduced to sex at just 8 years of age, my entire view of sex was made even worst by being exposed to pornography by age 11. As a man, I grew up thinking that what I saw in the movies was what sex was really about. I spent the next 20 years of my life addicted to pornography and it did affect my day to day living. I slumped into a deep depression because I wasn't what I imagined women wanted in a man, I wasn't endowed as those actors and when intimate I wasn't seeing the behaviour from women that I had come to see in the pornos.
I can tell you with all honesty that everything Dr. Malik presented is true, I am proof. I developed self-esteem issues, lost friendships and even sabotaged possible happy and healthy relationships because I felt as if I was a failure. In the end therapy became my only solution to my problems. I really hope that more awareness is brought forth regarding this topic in order to help our young men and women who unfortunately have had their lives broken apart by this.
Now, I am not saying it's bad to watch porn, but I do feel that proper sexual education needs to become a thing in our school system and in our homes, and encouragement should be given to help our youth come forth when it comes to improper behaviours from adults, even if it's coming from inside their own homes.
Edit: I just realised as I read some of the comments why ppl like myself feel reluctant to come forward and speak about our experiences. I honestly felt like I was being judged by my circumstances, I didn't ask for this shit to happen to me, but I guess based on what I've read it seems like many of you see it as it was my fault in the end. You know what, you're all absolutely correct in what you have said, I guess I am just a loser cause I couldn't understand why relationships wouldn't work for me, my view was just obscured by my narrow mind, so why should I fucking care in the end, right?
Thanks for sharing! You have courage!
"proper sexual education needs to become a thing in our school system and in our homes, and encouragement should be given to help our youth come forth when it comes to improper behaviours from adults, even if it's coming from inside their own homes." very well stated!!! I'm glad your were able to get help with your porn related problems. :)
First off, very sorry that happened to you and I hope whoever did that to you burns in eternal hell (and/or is dealt with accordingly).
I know it's a hot topic, but I don't believe sex education 'should' be taught in schools. Sure, it 'can' be, but it's not their job to parent your child. This is where people have gone the wrong direction. Too many parents are doing a terrible job of educating their kids because "it's an awkward conversation"...then don't have fkn kids! Being a parent involves RAISING. YOUR. CHILD. Not like having a dog and "well if they do that, I'll just yell at em and they won't do it again."
Anyways, fortunately, I grew to have a very healthy sexual awareness, both with my partners and with porn. I haven't always been a balanced individual in other areas, but I've always been in tune with my sexuality...so much so that I've always hated my body and thought I was ugly, but the second I'm naked with someone, I literally don't give a dam and just live in that moment. haha
To the point of this video, it's 100% about balance and understanding how it relates to the type of personality you have. I have a very non-addictive personality, so I wouldn't know what addiction felt like if it actually happened. lol So I don't have to worry about that ever with anything I do, but I also do a good job of not letting that be the only thing I get personal satisfaction from. I have tons of hobbies, passions and work a ton, and I'm not even a 'happy' person. I'm as depressed as any of us. But I have gone the therapy and drug route and that's seemed to help a bit the past 6 months or so.
Soooo yeah, that's my 2cents. :D
QUEEEN
@@coresnap schools should teach the biological, anatomical side of reproduction. But it should be up to the parents to tell the children how to handle the ethical/emotional side of it.. something a public school can never teach you.
The scary thing… just substitute “pornography” with “social media” and notice it’s the same thing regarding dopamine, addiction, compulsivity, etc
Top comment right here!!!
No its not, it doesn't stimulate so much like pon
@@zapdosxy1781 for some. But the same isn't true for most.
@@zapdosxy1781true, thats like comparing sugar and cocaine
Not nearly the same level of dopamine release and stimulus
My wife caught me one day watching a porn channel so i quickly turned the tv to a fishing channel. On her way out she said: ‘You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!’
That was one great comment by your woman!! I'll bet she's fun to have around the house!!
😂😂
emotional damage xd
💀😭😂🤣😆🔥
Rip her a new one 😅 !
I would like to thank you Dr. Malik I’ve had trouble with social anxiety and pornography overuse for many years. Im trying to be pro active with my life, attending Gym 3-4 times a week and generally taking better care of myself. Your channel has been informative and an excellent resource for me 💯.
How's it going?
Try semen retention it will change your life
Well im 21 years old i been watching her for like 3 months now, and she makes me feel more normal and how to deal with things, appreciate what you do dr. Peace n love
Lesbian kiss!😍
"if you think you have a problem then you probably do". I can't stress this enough. I hate when ppl tell others it's bad for everyone because of their personal battle with it. I've never had a problem with porn and it hasn't negatively affected my sexual life. It didn't strip me from my confidence or made me expect too much from a partner.
Amen brother
I don't think that it has affected me either but everyone's experience is different.
I conquer with you man.
@@stanleyjrkaundula2626 Did you both serve in the same unit?
I feel you. I hear a lot of people feeling bad after they masturbate to porn. These type of people should look more into themselves because they have underlying issues. Watching Porn is just exposing these problems not creating them.
Just as she said you can get “addicted” to porn, BUT, also to sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, food, and several other things. We also try to keep most of these away from kids.
So it really is like most things in life, everything in moderation.
Porn can be fun, or it can be gross. It can be appropriate or abusive. And, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Totally agree!!!
If youre in a relationship, it becomes a problem because if your parneter isnt doing what you see on video, people often cant even get it up for their partner or struggle to finish. That was the case for me. Id go like an hour and end up having to force myself to visualize some woman from some nasty video i had watched, just to finish. I even had to fake some orgasms too just so she didnt feel horrible or embarrassed. It was then when i realized the stuff was no good.
@Jonathan Soko damn sorry for what you went through. I think though that it's important to distinguish that it can be a problem in a relationship and not definitively will. Alcohol can destory lives but it won't necessarily. It depends on the level of use and whether that use has risen to the level of addiction and harm.
@@jonathansoko1085 i mean if she looks unattractive
@@fidel0666 exactly
Unbiased. Way to go Dr. Malik. Just the facts. Best report that cuts to the chase and discusses the potential outcomes.
I wanted a video from you adressing this subject for quite a while. And it didn't disappoint at all. The wait was well worth it. Thank you.
I really appreciate this videos Dr. Malik, today one can feel even ashamed of many things and feel bad or weird about it, you examine the topics in a way that makes someone feel normal and secure of itself, thank you for your work.
@@bestia2.063 not a very smart thing to say
@@bestia2.063 says the one who really believes in "blackwashing" you should rethink your life pal. (This take of him is in other comment on this video)
@@bestia2.063 that is stupid and irrelevant. I remember the time when doc sam robbins was accused of not exist, that it was an AI voice made by a farma corpo to sell their shit. In the end, he was real, and although he did tried to sell his product at the end of each video, many people just slam against their asses the whole info gave in the video before the ad. The accusations hinder the information he was giving, which was nothing crazy, and totally coherent (the whole topic).
Even tho rena could not be a real urologist, does that even matter to the info she is giving to us?
@@bestia2.063 you talking bullshit
This women is the devil, stop listening to her she's inviting you to Satan's house
Really appreciate your factual and respectful treatment of all things related to sex and sexual health. I have learned allot through them and wish our society could discuss these things more openly. So many young people have a rough start due to ignorance and shaming of these topics. Keep up the great work!
I keep watching tlckle glrls feet videos, and everytime when I do s3men comes out of my penls
@nicholastv5543 hi, what is it that you want
2:57 Here
A very big problem with this point is that for a lot, A LOT, of men, we don't have the luxury of that choice. Having a partner is becoming harder and harder for an insane amount of reasons. A woman can get sex very easily almost any time she wants it, but as a man, you can last YEARS without having a partner. Now we have to add the high levels of depresion and anxiety that suffer our society to the equation.
Basically, for a lot of men, the only option is to watch porn. You have porn or you have nothing, that's all.
And a lot of people tells you "just be patient, one day you'll find a partner, you'll find love". But that's not even an argument. It's not that easy.
You have totally nailed it. Women control the availability of intimacy and sex but no women i talk to about this understand it. I explain it by saying, imagine walking through the desert desperately dehydrated and men are walking around everywhere sipping on bottles of spring water wondering why you are so desperate for water. Then imagine that the only way you get any water is by asking a guy who has some to share. In the rare time they say yes you're gulping it and they can't understand the need because they can sip it whenever they want. And it's not just about sex for us either, it's the only way we get any human touch or intimacy.
Dopamine rush goes also hand in hand with social media and streaming platforms.
Don't believe for a second that you're in the clear just because, instead of consuming porn, you're obsessed with an eCelebrity who every once in a while acknowledges your existance, replies/likes your comments or laughs are your jokes.
hand in hand, I see what you did there...
@@flogginga_dead_horse4022 I also enjoy the double hand technique !
So true queen
@@flogginga_dead_horse4022 A bird in the hand...
it's not just social media my guy. It can be anything.
1:14 Is porn black or white?
Both. It's called interracial porn.
Sorry. I'll see myself out.
😂
I was going to like this but it has 69 likes. I don't want to ruin this masterpiece
😎👊🏾
😂
No,no stay,thats a good one.😂😂😂
I like how unbiased you portray information. Makes it seem incredibly more honest
I'm so glad you put out a video like this. There are many videos that go towards "broscience", are using shame, or are riddled with misinformation.
It makes it difficult to find something based in science that is trustworthy that doesn't have a end goal in mind.
this helps a lot. i was so embarrassed about it and finally i opened up and told someone because i dont want to live in that fanasty anymore. it did cause problems in my relationship but i was embarrassed to tell her. i started at 15. i dont want anything with it anymore because it does become a problem.
Thank you Doctor for all your videos. Fell into this at 6yrs, and having grown up in a religious pentecostal setting was shamed for it. Thank you for being a light for people like me.
I am also Pentecostal ... UPC. It's been a long road to recovery , and it's a long long story .
Most religions demonize sex. It's only bad when you hurt others in the process. Other than that, sex is natural. Just turn on the discovery channel and watch some documentaries about nature and you will see that we too are a part of nature. Thing is we humans tend to overthink and analyze things until we come up with something that makes us feel better about ourselves. Religion preaches that sex is bad and sad to say that most of the leaders are the ones whoring around. Blessings to you!
@@Total_Body_Fitness_USA most but not all . My church is very unusual in these regards , but clearly against adultery. It's a refreshing departure from the professional church goes of the 70's and 80's .
My libido dropped dramatically after attending sexual therapy for 6 months and abstaining from masturbation and pornography consumption. That led to serious depression, reduced work performance, and eventually a level of apathy that seems borderline sociopathic. I’m glad you don’t go straight to shaming porn and/or masturbation as traditional psychologists or social workers seem to do. We all have different needs and it’s sometimes difficult to satisfy those needs while conforming to society.
Did it get better? I’m going through this right now. I haven’t watched porn for a month and my libido has dropped big time. I wouldn’t say I had an addiction. I’d watch maybe once a week just to curve any sexual frustration when my girl wasn’t around.
All true.
why would your libido drop if you stop watching porn? Shouldn't it get stronger? Or was it that porn is more enjoyable than actual sex?
@@laverdadbuscador Don't know why.Abstaining from it should have increased libido but in my case my libido just starts getting low.
Nofapers just think that if abstaining from masturbation gave them positive results, it would give every single person on earth the same results.
My addiction was so bad at one point that I wasn't even interested in having a real physical relationship with a woman. From my personal experience I say it's bad.
Having a real physical relationship could be fatal to your health and wealth.
@@jacque4697 In certain countries, that’s true
@@jacque4697 and yet, without real relationships society would collapse.
@Teddy Baker's virginity goes to the highest bidder yes it would. Society is built on business relationships, the family structure, cooperation between the people and the government and nations and nations.
These relationships are not perfect, and occasionally they’re exploitative, but domineering ones historically never last. People can cut business ties, get divorced, and revolt against their governments.
But none of that changes the fact that, perfect or imperfect, society is built on real physical relationships and it doesn’t care if one individual looses money or their health to perpetuate it. I think anyone would agree it’s better to live in society instead of the wild, unless you’re one of those weird anarcho-primitivists.
Yes. It would. It is now, due to the breakdown of the family. If you don't see this, you are biased and willfully trying NOT to see it.
I'm an atypical case. I thought I had a porn addiction for years due to my consumption rate, but I didn't meet any of the criteria for addiction: escalation, life/work disruption, dependency, etc. In fact, I started losing interest in augmented performers (boob jobs, lip fillers, big hair, etc.) and preferred women who looked more natural, low-maintenance. I also started preferring more low-fi porn that didn't emphasize heavy production value beyond camerawork, and I never acquired a taste for rough or violent porn (I think I'm more put off by it now than in the past). I also really enjoy porn BTS and so I've been aware of the fake qualities of porn for a long time and never thought of the activity on screen as authentic.
I'm autistic and so my issues with relationships and sex stem from personality and chemistry issues with other people, which were a problem long before puberty. I dissociate too much during interpersonal activities and porn has nothing really to do with that, it's more generalized social anxiety and insecurity, as well as severe trust issues that again, have nothing to do with porn.
So for me, porn was a substitution for a real sex life that was and remains unattainable for me, which might be the reason I never got addicted; it wasn't a palliative, it was a supplement. That said, I know that it can be for some people so I harbor some guilt about it, but also relief that it hasn't happened for me.
So take that for whatever data it provides.
I find what you write, interesting. I Don't want to get deep here about porn cause I don't think there is a bottom. Yes one could spend a great deal of time, analyzing it. Maybe just point out some features of it. It's not real, especially productions in established studio's. .......
I still believe it is wrong and unhealthy, one is literally watching someone you would perform coitus with, perform it with someone else. If you stop with porn, I believe, you would be better, subconsciously, with real sعx and which won't remain unattainable. It was not a thing pur ancestors had and it is harming, in my opinion.
Don’t say sex is unattainable for you just because you have autism (or any other reason). If you want it, go get it. Go to a singles bar or something. It will come to you just gotta stop with the porn and staying home and go out
@@jp05598 People in general don't sleep with people for socializing with them. You have to have character traits that stimulate arousal in tandem with your appearance. My looks are average, but my eccentricities can be extremely polarizing, and when combined with the hypervigilance towards sexual predation currently in our culture, being forward is not advisable: it's considered invasive and inappropriate. With my awkwardness, it can be construed as harassment, which it actually has in the past.
Sex is unattainable for many reasons, and autism only exacerbates them, it doesn't *create* them. That was one of my points. Another was that many people--myself included--use porn to supplement the lack of sexual opportunities currently available in the culture.
@@niccolopaganini1782 As I said, my dissociative qualities existed prior to my porn consumption, so even if I quit porn, I'd still have intimacy issues relating to non-sexual interpersonal relationships.
Your videos are consistently interesting and informative. I really appreciate that you take the time (out of what must be a really busy surgeon’s life) to make these. Thank you for your excellent work.
I don't fully agree on everything she said though. If your female isn't responding to you pretty much the same like in a porn film, you need to improve your moves. Of course every woman reacts differently but none have left unimpressed so far...
You're a voice I trust. I too have problems with the violence and people believing what they are seeing is real. Fantasy, FANTASY. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with all of us.
Really appreciate your videos. Love your professionalism and the fact that you site studies and solid information. Wouldnt expect less from a Doctor, but it is still appreciated.
Dr Malik is definitely the modern day Dr Ruth. Her videos are very informative.
Bravo Dr. Malik. This is one of the most balanced presentations I have seen. In my neurological work, I see the pursuit of pleasure overrides logic and guilt constantly. I look forward to all your insights on this channel. Thank you.
Is there some way to block the dopamine response? Or is that even desirable?
Yeah, I would have handled this in a far less-decorous fashion, showing a porn star's face and talking about how the little BBC-pig works a gangbang. Saying things like, "Does't it just make you wanna hose down the cute, bratty tart!?" Not very befitting of a doctor's style, I admit.
You'll never know your addicted to something until you try to stop.
But can’t that be with anything? I get the urge to play some Xbox , I get the urge to run , I get the urge to watch porn. Somehow I can’t quit any of it for good. Somehow I go back to it.
Alright, no porn for a year. Gotta make sure I'm not addicted
@@martoafro I think a year is probably to much. I would say like a month. Then you can tell wether you're addicted
Thank you for your scientific and unbiased talk on porn. All the other vids re: this topic are all just porn shaming and religious. This helped
The religious aspect is not meant to shame you. It's just the 10 Commandments and not the 10 suggestions. If we want heaven we have to know the Commandments.
Meanwhile I've watched a dozen video of Dr Malik and I have to say: I wished I had someone like her as sex ed teacher! She has this professional yet uplifting approach that I would have needed back then.
Because, let's face it, that topic is pretty much non-existent and/or poorly handled in schools around the world (and made even more awkward by the usual last row bullies and their immature comments)...
Thank you, that was probably the best review of this topic that I've seen and without shaming/judging anyone.
❤❤sex😢😊
Wow! As usual, what a great educational video you have released! This is indeed a topic that many people in society sees it as a kind of taboo, not willing to have an open and frank discussion, while preferring to stay in ignorance instead to consider the view of trained professionals like you. This is an area in which we still have a long way to go because there is so much to learn. In that sense, it is great to have professionals like you that help in bringing an objective and healthy perspective of the topic. Again, I thank you for the great work you do in educating us by sharing your knowledge. Kudos!!!
Don't be a Sycophantic Teacher's Pet Luis...it won't get u any closer 2 Dr M's pie. She's happily married w/2 children...respect that! Lol🙃...Most of my ridiculous & crass comments are 4 entertaining myself & subs...but I actually truly respect Dr M & her opines, whether I agree or not. In fact I'm writing this to entertain myself as well...but watch ur 6 Dr M...Lu maybe a 🤪!...lol🤣👍
@@MA-lq6eb Well MOA, while I don’t think I need to explain myself to you, I still will tell you that I do respect Dr. M and what she does. As I’m also a happily married man with kids, I have no special interest in her like you are pretending with your comments. You really don’t know me, and my comments are my honest an sincere opinion on what she does (never disrespectful) and I don’t think she needs anyone to speak on her behalf like you are doing. If you write to entertain your self, have fun! 😜👋🏼
@@LuisTorres-le3xz That's Mr. MOTHEORY 2 U sir/madam!
And I speak 4 myself...not 4 anyone else...I'm sure they can take care of themselves(but really just a heads up Dr M🤫).
4 a Man, being married is irrelevant...too many cheaters 2 count out there (I suppose this newer gen of woman would 🦶 the bill quite nicely as well).
I'm not quite sure u r a man, per se...I've never heard a "Real Man" say they're "Happily Married" speaking 2 another Man😏. Is there a such thing for a man?...happiness in a "legalized marriage"?...Maybe in some fantastic, romanticized, immature dream from my naive youth...then ur abruptly waken up 2 the unholy reality of misery & despair!😥...Or maybe it's possible 4 a cuckhold or simp 2 find it there?? lol😅 idk...really idc anymore either...2 each their own my fellow human.🙃👋
@@MA-lq6eb ✋🏼
@@LuisTorres-le3xz Kudos to you as well. There's always some jerk who turns a loving comment into an x-rated movie. Sometimes you just need to stand up for yourself. I also agree with what you said. I've learned a lot about sexuality from her. Have a great day.
Knowledgeable about the existence of porn during my teen years. Watched it the 1st time, and then on, in my mid-late 20s. It’s been off and on since or seldom times. Few times I did have urges. Then I’m just: “Brain-please stop. I’m just trying to play some Halo”.
Couple times my mind won lol. I just get it over with.😅
Yeah they definitely made Cortana's cheeks a bit too distracting in the 4th game.
@@yewtewbstew547 I stopped after H3
This is pretty silly. You want it than you want it. And if you don’t want it, you end up playing video games or doing something else.
Porno address for a Urologic? Sound like go to fix your car in a car wash... Porno problems its more issue for the spiritual or feeling or sensitivity no like a problems for erectly disfunction. Watch Porno its more easy rewards (dopamine) buy its a false rewards because the body and the spirit need to be touched with all other sensitive like smell and touch to the other people the sensation is so far away, watch porn it opposite to real love and it's different kind of sensation of the dopamine left free. Bud you always are free to take the better decision!
@@dalayzie1360 Oh, so you've never played ODST or Reach? I HIGHLY recommend getting the MCC so you can play them, their campaigns are REALLY good, especially Reach.
As in most aspects of life, " moderation in everything" has to be one of the many considerations one should aspire to achieve.
It's not. Messed me up for life.
It depends
@@lilithsbrood cope
skill issue
@@juehju Size issue
@@xagonent4942 cope
I've never had an issue with porn in my teen years. In fact, I'm what one would describe as a "late bloomer", because I got into sexual intercourse...pretty late, compared to most of my male peers.
Many of my classmates were already watching porn religiously and masturbating in the 5th grade.
I tried watching it a couple of times, but I felt like I was watching "The Bold And The Beautiful" or some other show that old people enjoy. It felt boring after a while. I had no libido whatsoever, and this even caused me, for a good while, to think that I'm asexual, because my peers considered me weird, like...how can a heterosexual teenager not be interested in sex during puberty, your hormones are supposed to be off the rails and some such. They said I'm a closeted homosexual, some local homophobic dudes even ganged up and wanted to beat me up (why they were so passionate about MY sex life...to this day, I have no idea), and I started considering it, but...much like I wasn't interested in women, I wasn't interested in men, either, so...scratch that.
It wasn't until almost half a year after I turned 18 that I had intimate dreams and had a desire to masturbate. My first time was when I was 22.
Ever since, I have consumed porn in small doses, and I have great distaste for the professional Brazzers-type stuff, which is often humiliation-based and a good half of them deal with the step-sibling fetish. I like the more gentle, realistic, some might even describe it as...romantic type of pornography, usually called "women's pornography", due to the belief most men like dominant, humiliating porn whereas most women like something that more accurately depicts sex with a partner. Whether that's really the case is a whole other topic. I also prefer amateur stuff, as it's way more realistic, more grounded, there aren't as many "movie tricks", and while there can be some roleplaying, it's usually a real couple having real sex and filming it.
Watching porn has also helped me find out about some fetishes I didn't know I had, so...getting to know your own tastes better.
Me and my sexual partners generally use short videos, links to videos in porn sites, photos, or GIFs (thank heavens I'm typing it so we won't spend another hour arguing about the pronunciation) to illustrate poses and stuff we like, even if it's not a 100% accurate depiction, it's much easier to show it and explain any correction than to depict it in words. Generally, when I masturbate, I don't watch porn, I watch stuff me and a sexual partner have sent to each other or even filmed together, and even when I watch porn, I'm thinking of a real person I'm intimate with and imagining it's them.
And no, even if that's not a person you have official sexual relations with, it's not "telepathic rаре" if you think about them and masturbate. I can't even believe some people can say this with a straight face. If you've been rареd or stalked, so you perceive anything and everything as crossing your boundaries, you're in dire need of therapy.
watching porn religiously => what is this??? 😀
you saying you don't have issue but you sound exactly like an addicted
@@azdaazdazda3385 I feel like the only reason you're saying this is because I'm long-winded. My comment, which you probably didn't even read in its entirety, isn't only about porn.
Care to elaborate what exactly makes you think that? But please, "You talk a lot about it" or some other cop out like that, isn't an argument.
Homophobia doesn't exist.
Ew you watch corn with others wtf
thanks, doctor! 😃 we really needed a video this! 🥺
to fuel your addiction?
Someone that isn’t 100% on the side of “let’s ban porn forever”? Someone with a brain that realizes there’s nuance and nothing is black and white. Kudos doc!
Also, someone that doesn't resort to flinging the weak "coomer" insults at you(like most smoothbrains among the Anti-porn crowd do, especially the bible-thumping cuckservative types) if you see porn and sex as a gray area(rather than something black-and-white).
I am a porn addict and I think all kinds of porn everywhere should be completely banned.
@@Mr.Ditkovich. Bad news for you: Porn isn’t going anywhere. There’s too much demand for it and the industry is worth billions. Better work on breaking that addiction.
@Deadhill Cemetery Nothing? Not even murder or rape? Those are pretty black and white...
But yes...most things should not be banned.
@@4uto_4ddict If we banned it now, we would reduce overall consumption of porn nationwide by about 95-98%. That's a MASSIVE step in the right direction. What makes it so bad today is that you can access it without any hurdles. It's not like before where you had a still image in a magazine, a vhs tape that you can't click and skip through forwards or backwards easily, or you go a theater with other people in public watching that. Now it's as simple as you have a phone, you have internet, and you can access an unlimited amount of content within a few clicks.
Been watching porn for decades. Never ever felt I had to see it, or "hooked"... I've learned a lot from watching it...I'm sure it affects everybody differently
I also learned a lot with your mother
you won't feel the 'hooked' effect until you try to stop.
Personally for me, it just made sex boring. Which is bizarre as hell to experience, that id rather watch people screw while i beat instead of actually being intimate with someone. i started very young though..around 5-6. That could possibly have alot to do with it, but ya it really does effect everyone differently. Some people like myself just cant watch that shit.
@@--Traveler-- Say the people drinking their morning coffee… Are habits automatically bad? Why so?
@@PAJA63
Drinking coffee in the morning is actually bad for your health!
When you wake up your are already dehydrated and with coffe on top of that you become even more dehydrated! Dehydration is the fast route to ageing!
Doc you approached a taboo subject so logically and openly. Thank you so much
How is it taboo? Do you live in Saudi Arabia?
@@armingleiner5292 No Armin. I used that term as that is what American society labels all porn. I used it only as a descriptive term. I do not believe it is taboo.
Hi Doc,
I am personally not into porn. I much prefer love stories. Call me a prude,which I am not, but pornography leaves me feeling empty where romance has the opposite effect. To each their own I guess. Your videos are excellent. Thank you!
I only started watching it in middle age. I was curious as there was more in the media about it being addictive and how it affects young lives. I was surprised how easy it is to access online. 😮 So far I’ve not had a problem with it. Could I give it up.. possibly not now unless my lifestyle changed. I could go a week or even up to a month without it. Like anything else online, I choose what I watch so I stay away from what I don’t like or is violent or what I wouldn’t do myself. Mostly I enjoy married couples who are clearly in love, putting it all out there online, their choice and 💯 consensual. I also find it educational. I usually watch with the sound muted and only on my own devices and so far, my own Wifi data. I used to love romance stories, still do, plus movies. I guess I’ve progressed into it. Maybe it is sexual maturity I don’t know. It doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t go around talking about but would be open to having a mature conversation with others. It is a contentious topic.
Very clear thorough explanation of current concerns of most people, great vid- once again
Eagerly waiting on that next video 😬 I have definitely been battling pornography addiction for many years. Maybe 7 or more now. I often relapse within days as it just seems easier to accept porn into my life than avoid it. It's everywhere. I can't escape it. There is no way to fully avoid pornography without leaving the internet. What I need are coping mechanisms that work.
GET MARRIED, HAVE A KID, & THEN DIVORCED...TRUST ME THAT'LL CURE IT 100%! MIND WILL BE CONSUMED W/SO MUCH U WON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!😎👍
Put some Chilli 🌶 powder on your hands in the morning and after work!
@@patrickgregory1078 bahahahahhaha
Go outside
Watching pornography is no different than watching sports on TV, or watching movie, in which you get to see how other people are doing things instead of yourself. Why are we making such a big deal about it? Of course, professional athletes are playing sports much better than we the spectators can, but does watching sports destroy our enthusiasm for playing sports ourselves? No, watching sports actually enhances our desire and proficiency at playing sports ourselves, and the same is true for pornography. Similarly, watching a movie showing unrealistic stunts and situations will have similar effects on our real life, and most of us have no problem separating unreal movie actions from real-life.
Thank you so much for talking about this. It's been so taboo for so long that it's time to finally address this once and for all.
It's been so taboo for so long? What are you talking about?
@@Coolcarting Porn, and all it's effects (both good and bad).
@@NorthernThaiGardenGuy I wanna hear about this taboo
@@NorthernThaiGardenGuy Taboo is defined as “the prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behaviour is either too sacred and consecrated or too dangerous and accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake.”
Please tell me what you are talking about that makes porn Taboo?
@@Coolcarting No disrespect, but I believe you just answered your own question.
You truly don’t understand how thankful I am that I found your channel. Holy shit thank you, seriously.
Since prostate cancer is the 2nd leading cause among men, and many men are not married, I say if Pornography enables healthy men to masturbate, the porno certainly has saved millions of men's lives. I have a friend who has a enlarged prostrate gland and 21 radiation treatments did not help him lose the necessary catheter and he ended up needing physical therapy to take care of the muscle atrophy. I am 4 months shy of my 80th birthday and do not have the problems he has. At the same time I appreciate the negative aspects illuminated in this informative video.
Masterbating doesn’t stop prostate cancer as much as you think
Yes! Thankyou! That was a good video. I along with many others appreciate what you do & teaching us things we normally wouldn’t have!
The perspective was well rounded. I like the moral incongruence mention. When someone says something is bad, we want it more. If we remove the bad from it, it's not as taboo to us.
Rather, whatever men really like or do is bad
Its so good that you were more balanced instead of just demonize it like literalmente EVERYONE else
Very good information. Great job Dr Malik!
Patrick Bateman?! Dude, what else do you do in those morning showers?
LOL, He hides the Bodies & Returns VHS tapes...BTW, I REALLLY WANNALIK DR M's 🦶
hmm lets look for paul allens opinion .
@@opai1821 Paul Allen's opine is No Good...it cost him an Axe in the head bcuz he had a better Biz Card & could get a Reservation @ Dorsia...when Pat couldn't.
Pornography isn't just about the pleasure's of conformity and the importance of friends, but it's also a personal statement on the sex working industry itself. Hey Paul!!!
Love your professionalism on such matters! You explain in clear articulate ways for all to understand! It's about time for these subjects you discuss!!!!! Thank you Doctor
I started watching at a very young age and i am 15 now, i decided to stop it because the last 1-2 years i started feeling really sad after doing it and i decided to stop. I tried many times but because i was addicted i couldnt manage to quit but then i took it more seriously and i have managed to not do it for 20 days (yes i count them), trust me, the key to quit porn is to resist on the first few days then it will be pretty easy you are going to see that.
Keep up the effort and it's ok to stumble so long as you look long term for the journey you're on and the improvement being porn free will be to your life and overall goals. I find having a person I trust as accountability to confide in really helpful in keeping me on track.
same, I'm 15 and I've been trying to quit for almost two years now, back then i didn't think much about porn, i thought it was ok and i could just leave it anytime, it wasn't until i tried to quit when my brain went to desperate measures to keep me fapping and i realized the complexity of the issue
I started at 12. I don’t go on for months sometimes . but when I get back addicted to it I’m on it everyday.
Very clear and on point information. Really thanks.
Another great subject that NEEDED to be talked about. That's the biggest problem and you addressed it, the lack of proper sexual education which in my humble opinion, should start in the 8th grade. Culture and family has the biggest effect upon a person, then there's life's circumstances as well. So it's really difficult to say when pornography is good or bad. In the USA, women are covered up, in Europe the ads and beaches are 'topless', so there an example of cultural norms. We in the US go to extremes on everything, either to the Left or to the Right, so the eternal fight on sensitive issues continues. Just continue to watch these videos, educate yourself, and make your own choices.
Women are definitely not more covered up in the US than in Europe. The fact you censor the f word and can show a nipple on day-time TV doesn't mean your content isn't vulgar or pornographic. Cardi B won numerous awards with a song titled and thoroughly describing a "Wet-Ass Pussy". American adverts are extremely suggestive and far more present on public than European ads.
Yes, there's good number of prudish/modest people in America, but mainstream culture is just as explicit as in Europe, if not more.
My life changed when I accept that porn was never helpful for me or the people involved in it.
It teaches a fantasized abusive sex education.
I realized it's love that I need not porn or hookups.
Or ya know……. You don’t watch ‘that type’ of video
Not every s*x video has to show degrading abuse of women ya know 🤷🏼♂️
@@ifbfmto9338 yup, not all sex videos are porn for example, sex scenes that are necessary for the plot in a movie.
Also.. I'd like to add something. It's true that porn isn't real, but we try to copy what they do. So, after all, porn does become real. Sometimes, it works...and the girl likes what you're doing to her (due to what you learned in porn) sometimes, well... It doesn't. Anyhow, we learn a lot of what we know about sex, from porn. I'm not defending porn, but it does give you a good sense of what sex can be like. Note: respect your partner. (Always)
Key: respect your partner always, ditto!
Well, extreme blowjobs is something usually only high status men get or very skilled lovers and also,the women need above average libido to be able to enjoy it even with the alphas.
So we can say that the Sex shown there is only representing about 5% of the population what they do in bed.
I’ve watched porn, and don’t have a problem myself. But I’ve known people who may. I just may forward this to a couple friends. This video is insightful and above all approachable.
Very, very much appreciated! 👏
Great video.
I think balance is 🔑 like everything else.
Too much of something is not good. Much of the symptoms in your video spoke about what happens when we overindulge.
However, abstaining completely due to false belief systems, projected shame or being told it’s wrong is just as bad, if not worse.
Too much = Regret from not managing all things in life well. Too much here takes away from another source.
Too little = Pent up frustration, resentment, anxiety and stress.
Too little and too much are both loose terms based on variables of completely different people.
I try to follow my heart. Sometimes I find pornography/masturbation to be a very great form of self love. It can even be a form of meditation and pleasure.
I find for myself that it’s best to measure each urge with what else also needs to be done. Then I make the choice and ‘handle’ it.
We must stop people pleasing and burying ourselves with guilt and shame that only imprison us in lower levels of consciousness.
I applaud your intro and video. It's nice to see an intelligent female (not using "female" here to be sexist, but to illustrate that women know about and like sex too - and if you had a male explaining this same video, we'd just be "defending porn because we're male") explain the pros and cons, versus what rhetoric is being distributed out there that only men use porn, or have biological attraction - and generalize and shame us all as the same for having these urges, being attracted to physical characteristics, and porn only objectifies women and that's how all men will treat them. I personally can tell the difference between movies from Hollywood and real life - and pornography is the sex version of Hollywood. I think people really do need to communicate when they are trying to live up to porn's expectations. Real life is smellier, messier, imperfect, often rushed, off-sync ... so many things - but also beautiful and intimate, and this is where the couple needs to talk about what is going on.
Love this comment. Tip for the future so you don’t have to use the parenthesis: say “[an] intelligent, female perspective”.
That way intelligent isn’t describing female, but rather the POV. Additionally, it separates and acknowledges that female perspectives can differ from male perspectives, are just as valuable, and can also be intelligent or dumb.
A BIG Thank you for alllll the amazing useful videos you post for us!!! It's just amazing how cool and useful those info are for us.
Thank you for the consolidated pros and cons on this subject. I specifically enjoyed hearing the statistics and caveats of the studies. Most often in the past, People get hung up on their moral views without making it to the science of the situation. Explicitly relating the information that Pornography is contrived and edited like any other video entertainment is helpful ( "Luke, I am your Father" Never really happened either.), This is a point I like to make when discussing the subject. I have a theory about the attraction of topless bars that is close to this. Be well and Good Journey. Richie
Great segment. With me , I used to drink and smoke. After a while, I just had enough and no longer enjoy both and I just gave both up and never went back. The same with porn. I now find it boring.
years ago, a woman I was dating told me that she actually preferred vibrators over men - her reasoning was that men needed support, feeding, attention, all of that, while a BOB just needs batteries and a dab of KY... needless to say, it ended shortly after (like, we didn't even get through the closing credits of the DVD) that...
This is basically the movie Don Jon, but with the genders swapped.
Uhhh . . . well, if the only thing she's considering is simple sexual satisfaction, she might be right about most men. Of course, I personally think that important part of sexual satisfaction is actually having someone to talk to, hug, kiss, hold, that kind of thing. Perhaps someday she may change her point of view and want more from sex than a sex toy can give her :)
Its very difficult when youre a man, youre single, and you have needs and desires.
Only human!
Well said, just a thought though, I feel like a lot of people are interpreting your presentation as being the norm for porn viewers and not being fringe case scenarios like is the reality with actual porn addiction. I am seeing a LOT of comments here justifying no-fap, no- porn, often religious messages around this. Maybe it would be good to establish more clearly that addiction isn't the norm? The level of disinformation here in the comments is pretty gnarly.
The religious messages especially are destructive on the whole narrative of porn. Not all of it is bad, and can be educational for partners to try new things out. Sex is literally a part of a happy, healthy relationship, and deeming it as taboo in [insert religion here] is probably not the way to tackle it as a whole. Like many pleasurable things, it needs regulation, not restriction. Check mate all you prudes out there. 😂💪
@@___solar___. Sex is part of a happy, healthy marriage. Taking shortcuts or looking for easy street, leads to ruin.
@@richardgene4231 I don’t think sex is limited to just “marriage”. All long term relationships need it. If you or your partner is not comfortable right now, then fine, but don’t limit it to just marriage. It can be beneficial, not destructive, if you and your partner know good habits. There is in no way shape or form anything deemed destructive about sex that’s been tied to the idea that it’s done before marriage. The real causes, are your irresponsibility, and lack of self control. Period.
@@___solar___ the religious messages are a waste of time. If people understood the actual science behind porn, it would do a MUCH better job deterring them. Sex is healthy, but porn isn't sex. Porn is a literal drug, and by saying there are pros to it "physicians" like this one are doing the exact same thing that doctors lobbied by the tobacco companies in the 60s did
addiction IS the norm. The irony with porn is that it tricks you into thinking you're not addicted until you KNOW you're addicted. And at that point, you'll wish you could go back in time and never start
Very objective study on the issue. I'm just relieved because this video only shows that pornography is not only a moral issue, but also affects the whole being of a person.
Great explanations. Pornography is just another thing like drugs, food, alcohol or activity that effects dopamine production. It is so easy to go overboard on anything when we get that great feeling from the dopamine experience.
Rena I'd like to thank you for your videos. I've found them incredibly informative and helpful. I am a 57 year old woman who has enjoyed a very healthy sex life, until recently. My partner is a 46 year old man who suffers from ED. We have been together for 5 years. As far as I know he has suffered from ED for over 10 years. Our sex life started quite good, but recently (past 2 years approx) has deterioratedto almost nothing. When Itry to discuss he becomes very defensive and angry blaming his ED. I have encouraged him to seek medical help which he has, unfortunately medication is not working. In the past 18 months I find that he is refusing almost all my advances instead opting for porn and masturbation. I have asked him to "share" the porn with me in the hopes it will help stimulate, sadly this is not the case and I find him less interested in me and more interested in his "individual pursuits". I found your channel and have forwarded some episodes to him with hopes that he will find them helpful also. I'm sincerely hopeful. Thankyou again for your content, please continue, you are helping people 🤗
Your predicament is a common problem with aging couples when one or both have a past porn addiction. People become aroused by images of young nubile sexual partners and cannot become aroused with their older less nubile partners.
Try a plant based diet with no other shit like alcohol or smoking for your husband, after I went plant based over the last 3 years my veins have cleared out, blood flow is good. And I grew an extra inch haha. Sometimes it’s hard to contain the dog a problem that I have never experienced before I suppose I’m just a healthy young man.
Thank You, Dr. Malik. This was a great discussion of pornography, a subject that ranges from good quality reasonable videos to the really trashy, violent and abusive videos that are on the web. I am often amazed that watching a good video expressing loving affections between 2 consenting adults is not acceptable, but a video or video game of people graphically blowing each other to pieces is totally acceptable. I guess society still has some learning to do.
Thanks again.
Great point, Steve, and I totally agree with you. Watching pornography is no different than watching sports on TV, or watching movie, in which you get to see how other people are doing things instead of yourself. Why are we making such a big deal about it? Of course, professional athletes are playing sports much better than we the spectators can, but does watching sports destroy our enthusiasm for playing sports ourselves? No, watching sports actually enhances our desire and proficiency at playing sports ourselves, and the same is true for pornography. Similarly, watching a movie showing unrealistic stunts and situations will have similar effects on our real life, and most of us have no problem separating unreal movie actions or situations from real-life.
@@trungson6604 Interesting comments. I would like to add that some who watch professional sports sometimes try to emulate what they see. For example, Stephen Curry is well known for shooting 3-point shots like nobody's business. What do I see on outdoor basketball courts? People trying to shoot 3-point shots like nobody's business. What do I see in college basketball? Players passing the ball to the three-point shooter, even though they have a clear path to the basket. Why? Because that's what the Warriors do a lot. So, I agree with your point but I think the "imitation" or "emulation" part changes things a bit. If we extend that to pornography, I think we have to be VERY careful. One of the points Dr Malik makes about the people seen in porn videos is true: they are people with exceptional traits (penis size, breast size, physique, etc). However, with the video quality of consumer level technology, a lot of amateur porn is widely available. In these cases, we've got people with "normal" bodies engaging in various sexual acts and/or exploring fantasies. If I now see "regular" people doing sexual stuff that turns me on, am I going to start imitating or emulating that? Sure, I'm not the muscle-bound stud with the 11-inch erection, but if I see someone with a small beer gut "getting it on", maybe I'll be able to relate or "connect" with what I'm seeing more and be more motivated to engage in those acts, myself.
None of that is inherently problematic, but I think it's REALLY important to keep in mind how broad of a term "pornography" is. It doesn't refer just to professionally produce content anymore. In any event, thanks for your post! Your comments got me thinking. :)
@@TheCocoaDaddy --I'm with you Bro. I prefer amateur actions instead of professional stuffs.
The issue is how the hell would you know if the porn was made ethically and not because some female was being pressured into doing something she didn't want to from an agent and getting yelled at for it? How do you know they weren't taken advantage of or you watching it would result in her getting addicted to the validation, fame and money that comes with it until she realizes maybe it's something that they could take back and not do anymore but that stuff stays around forever with creeps remaining attached to her? How do you know they aren't outright trafficked? Point is porn is a scourge and we shouldn't dehumanize people for going into it but let's also not pretend like most of these stars end up happy or continue to do it. There's a reason most want to get a way out because it more often than not makes everyone miserable
@@xxxthwagdrakexxx4672 Exactly. And id coming out more and more, how much was porn a part of the "casting couch" for those trying to break in to the Hollywood circle?
There are very realistic interactive battle video games. Perhaps that technology will slide over into the adult entertainment sector as well?
It’s fine as long as it’s not an addiction. People have other things to do.
Well, I was opened to porn at 14. But I’m glad that I’m smart enough to understand that this all is a performance played by models with unnatural shapes of body.
The biggest good thing I got from the porn is I got interested in anatomy and physiology and actually learned much about it from Wikipedia and other sites, not just the videos.
A very important subject, we are learning with you
Thanks
Wonderful explanation. Thank you doctor.💐🙏
YW...BTW I REALLLY WANNALIK DR M's 🦶
These symptoms seem very similar to drug addiction, although unlike drug addiction pornography seems to affect individual drastically to a more emotional stand point. Which is pretty interesting. I do appreciate how you said that if you think you have a problem you do, As long as it doesn't negatively affect yourself or others then it isn't a problem.
Well, the damage it does to our ability to become aroused is about the same as cocaine. My lady couldn’t turn me on anymore with her naked body despite having no,fears of dealing with her. The dopamine reaction just wasn’t there, the dopamine receptors too much desensitized by too much overstimulation of superhumanly large breasts and superhumanly intense orgasms.
I really don’t understand why the author of this video didn’t talk about the millions and millions of men in America who cannot have six anymore because they need too much stimulation and their lady is often not good enough for such extreme stimulation to make the body properly respond.
It's even stronger than drug addiction. That's what makes it more dangerous in some ways. Our civilization is collapsing because of how widespread porn addiction is.
This is an important topic. We get a lot of opinions from uneducated or unprofessional sources. Even some of those sources have biases. Sex is a normal part of our lives in its various forms. Being open and clear about sexuality and sexual practices is something that needs to be liberated from religion and politics. It should be talked about in a normal rational dialogue.
Great upload Dr. Malik. One of your best. My only concern is what the alternative to porn is? If porn is the alternative to sex. Then what is the replacement for porn? Biscuits? Latin? Blockchain/coding? Priesthood?
As a lifelong user, and prefer it to sex, I can't see that women are helping men reduce prostate cancer? And if sex is so good, then, why aren't more men having it? I just LOVE porn. It never says no. It never bullshits me or has excuses. Porn never demands I wear a condom or puts fear in me that I will get the girl pregnant. Porn also never can give me an STI or even charge me with rape 27 years later. (Alyssa Milano, Rose McCowan, Christine Blase-Ford, etc etc...).
Porn never gives me performance anxiety, and it never requires foreplay or post-coital cuddles. Porn is free, readily available and dynamic. NO WOMAN could ever in a million years compete with these notions. Besides, beyond a vagina that isn't being used, what value do women have? What pray tell, exactly, are women offering men besides headaches, drama, bullshit and false accusations?
Please. Change my mind. Thanks!
The thing about porn is. When you are not in a relationship or doesnt have an intimate partner, porn basically becomes your sexual outlet source. If you abstain from that in this case, youll feel depressed and get emotional withdrawals like an addict. Thats why this doesnt apply to ppl who have sex regularely, cause they have another way of „letting it out“. Thats what many ppl dont get, and why some ppl (males) struggle and some dont. Iam not a doctor or smth but my therapist kind of schooled me about it. It does make sense tho.
About 10 years ago I ended up working for an porn forum. At the time I was watching every day and had an extensive dvd collection. My job was to check links that were submitted by forum users. I had to make sure the links were legit, they didn't lead to viruses, or contain illegal content. I also had to make sure there was no duplicated content. That meant that I had to watch every video clip and check every picture. I did this for 8 hours a day Monday thru Friday and by the 2nd month of doing it I was sick of it. I quit that job as soon as I could. I ended up not watching porn for roughly 2 years. I barely watch now and that aforementioned dvd collection is down to 1 or 2 that are buried in a closet.
As a cam girl for past few years it ruined my sex live with my boyfriend I had to quit … now we are having great pleasure with eachother
I'm sexual active myself. Sometimes I've watched porn about fantasies
. I am not ruin my sex life with my future partner. Thanks Doc ❤
that sounds good
YES! UR RUINED...STOP NOW!
@@MA-lq6eb Ah let him enjoy his party why not
Exactly and facts, these so called think way too.much.
Same way they act about video games.
@@MA-lq6eb 👎
Personally I think there’s a lot more consequence to the use of porn and it’s impact on someone’s overall health. Porn has been designed to rewire the brain. It’s starts out as something like every other day then eventually turns to nightly use. I’ve had days where the thought of even just watching a video clouds my head and causes distraction. It also tends to radically change your perception of sex and ruins your expectations since almost if not every pornographic video is fake and scripted by professionals. There’s a plethora of studies conducted by brilliant minds like that of Jordan B. Peterson that point out the dangers of pornography and hookup culture. It might be good for stress relief and zoning out but the drawbacks ask more from you than what they offer. You wake up drained, your brain is always hung up on watching porn or thinking about sex, in some cases your hormone levels alter significantly, your expectations of sex change and you often become desensitised to sexual sensations that used to make you feel pleased. Of course these are only prevalent in people who use porn excessively but it’s a slippery slope, it starts out as 3 times a week then before you know it you’re hooked like a basehead.
If you read the whole comment thank you for your time, feel free to reply and we can have an adult discussion in the comments 🙂
This is a profound discourse by a profound woman.
Agreed 💯.
Tks Doc! I am your fan!!! Keep it up… cheer’s 🎉😊
I watched a lot of amateur porn probably cause I don't have a significant other to do anything with etc. I watched too much in the past and sometimes feel ashamed and guilty, but I don't think I am evil. Edit: Scripted porn is less interesting to me. It seems too over the top. I like seeing couples together or solo content if I am being brutally honest.
Does it make you feel insecure watching it? Cause some of those people are more endowed and get more partners.
@@ericalockhart-destroyerofe3751 women have easier access to sex
solo content for the people of culture 👍
I'm the same, I only watch amateur normal couples, I can't stand the scripted stuff... I only watch it to masturbate to become I don't have a partner and feel lonely porn and masturbation gets out of feeling lonely
@@ericalockhart-destroyerofe3751 I know your question is not directed towards me, but I recently had the same questioned asked by the girl I am dating. Oddly, she prefers professionally produced videos and I prefer amateur. My answer to her was no, not at all. I think pro porn is ridiculously produced and I cannot relate to it, but amateur is more like real life and made by people who want to show off a bit which is what makes it sexy. And it is a turn on when it is obvious the people involved are having a good time and enjoying their experience.
“It’s not an addiction, it’s…” goes on to describe addiction.
Well said, thanks for educating us all. ❤️
Very important video, imo if a person spends too much time of each day watching porn, then it's an addiction, but if it's only a couple times a week, for around only the time needed to reach one orgasm, then it's ok, it's normal.
And lastly, tbh, i hate the "professional" porn, it's too fake for me.
I do think pornography ruins healthy sexual relationship with unrealistic expectations. Nothing about porn is real and the subject is so taboo that people don't learn to associate it in a healthy a way. Best thing I did in my 20's was quit watch porn.
Yup, I’m glad I did too, I stop watching it @ 60
whats not real about porn? how can porn be fake? like... wut
Porn is just watching people have sex on the internet correct? So how can watching porn be bad ? I can understand it being bad if your partner wants to have sex with you but you rather watch porn lol I get that .
What do you mean nothing is real? You think it is CGI? Or do you mean that the pizza delivery man isnt a real pizza delivery man.
What a braindead take, ofc the sex is real. 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏿♀️
@@coryleblanc well, only 1% of women have such incredible sexual appetite that they would quickly blow a guy without significant emotional connection like in porn. Only 1% of women have similar sexual lifes like in porn but even most of those of the 1% needed at least a slight emotional connection before wild fucking and intense blowing.
I really appreciate your clinical objectivity. Pornography, for better or worse, is acting.
pros: temporary gratifacation that temporarily prevents sexual thought.
cons: possible addiction, weird fetishes, increased standards (maybe), and increased chance of getting sexual thoughts the next day.
from my personal experience.
Yea man I have a foot fetish now and another weird thing I don’t want to talk about
Ever since I went pornfree I feel so much more alive and I can actually talk to girls like a normal human being because porn abuse has fried my brain completely so I am unable to masturbate now without it. Surprisingly it was the easiest addiction to break for me considering how avid user I was and how many years I wasted watching it.
Ruined my life and relationships.A fake perception of sex just viewing women as sex objects.
Rena, you look distractingly lovely in this video. Your makeup is perfection and the lighting, makes your face look radiantly beautiful. “if you think you have a problem, you probably do “ made m3 laugh out loud. That should be tattooed on the forehead of every hum being on this planet since almost all of them lack self -awareness. You’re such a treasure.😘❤️
Thankyou so much
Will be looking forward to learn more.
Good and interesting video. I've used porn my entire adult life (I'm near 40). My honest assessment is that it doesn't cause any obvious difficulty or problem in my life. I'm happily married and enjoy sex with my wife. My wife also enjoys porn (although less often than I do). It hasn't affected me in my work or other areas of my life. I don't look to porn for education about sex, or to fill up an emptiness in my life. To the extent that I have experienced depression or anxiety (some), those problems don't seem to have any connection to sex or porn. But...
That said, I am more and more skeptical of the role of porn in my life. I think the main reason is that I just find it overly time consuming. That may be a sign that I've become desensitized to porn, but it doesn't manifest in the form of me wanting more aggressive or disturbing porn. I still like vanilla porn (no interest in anal sex, even). Some of my favorite porn doesn't even involve partner sex. I'm just more and more particular about it. And having particular tastes means more time involved in satisfying said tastes. I just find it tiresome to look for the stuff I like, because most of what is out there is not even close. In some way I find it analogous to browsing for new shows or movies to watch on various streaming platforms. (I find all the Marvel movies and Fast and Furious type stuff to be boring beyond all understanding... and so much porn is similarly ridiculous as far as my tastes are concerned - no judgment on anyone else for liking what they like. I just don't like most entertainment that's out there. So it takes a long time to find the things I do like, and the search becomes tiresome.
So, increasingly I just enjoy my collection of favorite porn that I've accumulated over the last few years, and spend less time bothering to look for anything new.
It's hard to say if a professional would diagnose me as having some kind of problematic porn habits. I've certainly been accused of it by random people on the internet when I have discussed my pro-porn/pro-sex views. I don't feel that I have a problem. But I guess I would say that I just find the "hobby" less enjoyable than I used to - more trouble than it's worth. I still watch porn, and have no immediate plans to stop... but I am cutting back a bit. Sorry if my long winded story is annoying to anyone, I just wanted to add my own true experience and thoughts to the mix.
All pleasures comes at a cost, but even if so u believe ur immune to its effects, doesn’t mean majority of people might not develop a problem with it.
@@Max4Z That may be. We have to be clear what "a problem" with porn looks like. How do we decide what is a problem? And once we've decided, we have to consider what the proper solution should be. The solution should not cause worse problems than it solves, and it also shouldn't needlessly impinge on people's basic freedom of choice.
Is porn use a problem when it causes a person to miss work? To fail in school? To have relationship problems? And what is the solution? What if the level of porn use that causes one person a relationship issue has no ill effect on the next person's relationship? And how do we know that porn use isn't a consequence of a failing relationship, rather than the cause?
I ask these questions because I'm interested in the end-game for people who tend towards an anti-porn perspective. Is the goal to decide when it is OK to masturbate, and what is acceptable to view for the purposes of masturbation? Are these views meant to be imposed on others?
@@nickmasters8474 I think the main problems with porn are that they are
So Accessible
And also that they stimulate dopamine too much cause of the never ending novelty aspect of it
@@Max4Z Alright. So how do you decide that porn "stimulates dopamine" too much? What is a sign that a person has released too much dopamine? And why is this a problem?
Why is it a problem that porn is so accessible? Is it a concern that, for instance, young children can get hold of porn too easily? I would tend to agree. I think parents should take steps to ensure kids don't get hold of material (including other entertainment forms like very violent movies and so on) that is not appropriate for their age. I also think parents need to keep an open dialog with kids about sexual matters (in an age appropriate way). Just as a good parent will make sure kids understand that violent entertainment is not meant to reflect reality, or serve as a guide for our own behavior, parents should teach their children (at some point, not necessarily early on), that pornography is adult fantasy - it's not meant to depict reality or serve as a model of ideal sexual life. But yeah, I do think it's unfortunate that kids get hold of hardcore pornography so easily these days. I'm not necessarily against teenagers looking at porn (personally), but I do think parents need to have a good educational dialog with their kids about these things.
@@nickmasters8474 why is release too much dopamine in the way of instant gratification a problem? Well first inform ourself of how the human brain works maybe then it can start to make a little more sense. Not trying to sound like an ass, but it’s good to study the human mind and why these things are bad in order to get the full idea
Thanks for taking on this difficult subject. What is "porn" and what is just "adult" movies? Seems like a subjective call to define the difference if there is one. And I totally agree that if you think it's a problem...it probably is. So the problem is your mind's programing as to what is "dirty" or something you should be ashamed of? No shame is my motto, but rather open, honest with no secrets. Life is a learning experience no?
As the old expression goes, or something close, if you don’t know what porn is, you know it when you see it..
Short answer: yes.