In the game of pretty privilege, everyone loses

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  • Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024

Комментарии • 114

  • @bfbmain
    @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад +11

    Click my trainwell (formerly CoPilot) link go.trainwell.net/Brownfireball to get 14 days FREE with your own expert personal trainer!

  • @MachFiveFalcon
    @MachFiveFalcon 5 месяцев назад +83

    I don't want to detract from the conversation at all. I just want to say as a guy, we're feeling it, too. Limb lengthening, hair implants, working out + steroids, Botox, veneers, etc. We can all support each other with body acceptance.

    • @Irhaablackrose
      @Irhaablackrose 5 месяцев назад +11

      it's all because of social media i quite social media for a month and i have seen changes in me i start to like myself as i m more

    • @Oderoderuchte
      @Oderoderuchte 5 месяцев назад

      I quitted Facebook/Messenger and Insta 7 months ago and my life situation is very bad but this sites/media would make me even more sick and aggressive

  • @tara55886
    @tara55886 5 месяцев назад +36

    Pretty privilege is fleeting. I was always told how good looking I was, but now I'm 34 and now there is a new age of beauty standard (surgery, fillers, botox) that I refuse to buy into, those compliments have disappeared. Luckily I have a fiance that considers me beautiful inside and out 🥰

    • @manuproulx2764
      @manuproulx2764 4 месяца назад +4

      :). Your fiancé sounds like a sweet person. You're lucky to have them in your life.

  • @melteddarkchocolate000
    @melteddarkchocolate000 5 месяцев назад +130

    22:50 right. It is HARD to raise a human baby. Yet housewives are label “lazy” for wanting to stay home and raise their children’s.

    • @Mavuika_Gyaru
      @Mavuika_Gyaru 5 месяцев назад

      It's literally just misogyny. Raising kids isn't seen as labor just because it doesn't bring home income

    • @emmamartin4045
      @emmamartin4045 5 месяцев назад

      Women just can’t win. Those who will want to work will be called neglected mothers.
      You’ll be shamed either way.

    • @sergiovasquez1893
      @sergiovasquez1893 5 месяцев назад +3

      I never here anybody call a mother trying to raise babies get called lazy or easy. Who or where do you hear things like this from?

    • @whyismylifeweird4251
      @whyismylifeweird4251 5 месяцев назад +1

      OMG yes!
      I’m a career woman who doesn’t wanna be a housewife, but I get annoyed when women put down other women for being housewives because it’s apparently not fulfilling and oppressive. It’s like they’re saying that seeing your child/children well taken care off is less fulfilling than, being submissive to the corporate world.

    • @manuproulx2764
      @manuproulx2764 4 месяца назад +1

      ​@@whyismylifeweird4251 Honestly, whether a woman wants to be a housewife or not, it's her choice. What matters is that she's happy with her choice.

  • @Mira-gu6we
    @Mira-gu6we 5 месяцев назад +91

    I gained weight post partum. Im 30 pounds heavier now. I feel embarassed and ashamed to go out. To go to social getherings. Im treated less kindly than when i was slender. Its hard emotionally. But i believe in God.

    • @AlyssaIrvine
      @AlyssaIrvine 5 месяцев назад +3

      ❤ Hope you can feel stronger soon ❤

    • @Oderoderuchte
      @Oderoderuchte 5 месяцев назад +2

      It‘s problem with surrounding people about you not with you at all

    • @mariyamkhandwani
      @mariyamkhandwani 5 месяцев назад +2

      Omg yesss as soon as I gave birth 50lbs heavier and everyone everyone was commenting on my weight and how I need to to lose it asap ! Its messed up :(

  • @user-yn6th4xl4p
    @user-yn6th4xl4p 5 месяцев назад +44

    Congratulations! I’m 55 and my kids are grown. I feel a little bad for young women today bc they worry so much about their looks - maybe bc there are so many pictures being taken? I would have gone crazy…. When I held my babies for the first time, I never thought about how my body looked. And as for being invisible, you won’t be invisible to your child. My “kids” still need me today! Always keep your health up and look your best bc YOU will feel better. I wish young ladies would get off the “hamster wheel” of worrying about these things. Please enjoy your baby and don’t be hard on yourselves! Life is so short and children grow up fast- enjoy ALL the stages/changes of life! ❤

  • @BreeonaNechole
    @BreeonaNechole 5 месяцев назад +149

    Awwwww congratulations on the pregnancy!!! 😊💗✨

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад +10

      ❤️🩷❤️

    • @BreeonaNechole
      @BreeonaNechole 5 месяцев назад +7

      @@bfbmain I’m not a mom but I encourage you create your other channel sharing your experiences. Stay safe beautiful thank you for the videos 💗

    • @moderngoblin
      @moderngoblin 5 месяцев назад +1

      You say you’re enjoying gaining weight and your body changing. Great! But have you asked your husband if he does? I know for some women pleasing their partner is a huge focus for them, he probably wouldn’t tell you the truth but how would you feel and would you enjoy gaining weight if it made him less attracted to you? What if having children marks the end of your sex lives even permanently like happens to some couples? These are the questions you should ask as well as how you personally feel about it since there’s another person in the equation now. And these are the very real fears and realities of many folks. The woman stops caring and lets go of herself starting with pregnancy.

    • @manuproulx2764
      @manuproulx2764 4 месяца назад +1

      ​@@moderngoblin What she does with her body is none of your business. It's her choice and her life, not yours!

    • @moderngoblin
      @moderngoblin 4 месяца назад

      @@manuproulx2764 you’re right! My question wasn’t even touching on what she chooses to do with her body just wondering if she speaks candidly with her husband about these things! Cheers!!!!

  • @caliac
    @caliac 5 месяцев назад +10

    The thing with pretty privilege to me is: enjoy it while it lasts and don't resent it when it's gone. We have our minute under the sun and then it's gone, but if you do things right the loss of your pretty privilege won't affect you life in any meaningful way.

  • @sharranjami
    @sharranjami 5 месяцев назад +39

    Congratulations!! that was so kind of you to share your amazing news with us.😊❤

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад +4

      Thanks so much! And of course, I love my community too much to not share! 🥹❤️

    • @Monika_Daddarwal
      @Monika_Daddarwal 4 месяца назад

      @@bfbmain 🥺🥺🥺❤💙

  • @biancat.1873
    @biancat.1873 5 месяцев назад +42

    Sadly, this isn't even a new thing. In Victorian England, High Society "locked away" pregnant women as soon as they started showing. Like body changes from motherhood is something shameful... Yikes!
    PS Congrats to the happy news 💚💚💚

  • @acd1168
    @acd1168 5 месяцев назад +19

    Congratulations! You are going to be an amazing mom. May the rest of your pregnancy be healthy, may your labor be easy and may you have a healthy baby. 🙏🏾😊

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks soooo much!! 🥹❤️🩷

  • @baddcheeta.
    @baddcheeta. 5 месяцев назад +1

    24:15 yes, if you’re extremely lucky! So hard not having a village to help out with childcare.

  • @RealSigmaQueen
    @RealSigmaQueen 5 месяцев назад +14

    I hope you focus on this channel instead of splitting your focus. I think there are too many motherhood channels. But good feminist content with a moderate and insightful perspective is rare. And you are excellent at it.

  • @Bsskhwvsh
    @Bsskhwvsh 5 месяцев назад +10

    I wish looks would matter more for men. They need to be held to stricter standards

    • @supriyachauhan6814
      @supriyachauhan6814 18 дней назад

      It does but unfortunately women ignore their looks for financial status that is more important for raising a family

  • @mikehank2896
    @mikehank2896 5 месяцев назад +11

    Congrats, very special experience! They grow up so fast genuinely

  • @sildarmillion
    @sildarmillion 5 месяцев назад +2

    Congratulations Yusra! It's so wonderful that you were able to come to this stage after so much self-discovery and inshAllah that puts you in a position to handle this journey with the right maturity to parent a new human. Wish you the best!

  • @marissaclarke4556
    @marissaclarke4556 5 месяцев назад +4

    Congratulations!! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

  • @gabriellebaker7377
    @gabriellebaker7377 5 месяцев назад +6

    congratulations!!! ive been watching you for about a year and i just love and resonate with your content! so so happy for you and your husband🫶🏾 thank you for all you do!

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад

      🥹❤️

  • @moeezS
    @moeezS 5 месяцев назад +3

    Great points raised! Since the beauty industry relies on capitalism to keep going, keep making people insecure so they can buy the products, and constant competition for appearances, it will be a losing game. The only thing winning is profits for corporations who exploit humans on this. Also, congrats, and it's great to hear you're accepting of the fluctuations!

  • @lawliet6910
    @lawliet6910 5 месяцев назад +3

    The current discourse baffles me in its shallowness (not you, but generally the resistance to women's bodies changing). I was borderline underweight due to (undiagnosed) endometriosis that made it hard to eat because of constant nausea and 75% of my time being in some sort of pain or another. I was put on a super high dosage of medicine to deal with it and that med put me in chemically-induced menopause. Let me tell you, thank god, I feel SO much better. I gained some weight and frankly, I'd gain twice as much if it meant I didn't have to go through the pain and nausea that I spent most of my life feeling. I am comfortable telling people this because it's just one story out of infinite ones where it's like, we just need to understand that when weight fluctuates, it's not always a bad thing and the circumstances are so highly individualized that any kind of generalization is inherently bound to be shallow
    Also I was cracking up at the dosage thing, omg, my dad has actual diabetes and when he was on it he took it ONCE PER WEEEEEEEK hahaha like STAHP TAKING IT MORE THAN ONCEEEE A WEEEEEEK *screech*

  • @DejaCamacho
    @DejaCamacho 4 месяца назад

    Congrats on the pregnancy, I seriously couldn’t even tell! I’ve watched you for a year now and would watch your videos when taking my newborn on walks. I pray you’re able to maintain your sense of self and identity after welcoming your little one ❤

  • @baddcheeta.
    @baddcheeta. 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations on your pregnancy ❤❤❤

  • @Recoveringred
    @Recoveringred 5 месяцев назад +11

    ❤🎉 congratulations to you and your husband! We have been conditioned to be scared of pregnancy and birth. Continue to embrace it. Write positive affirmations. ❤❤❤

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад

      ❤️🩷❤️

  • @humbledt
    @humbledt 5 месяцев назад +26

    "i have never been the prettiest girl in the room" - says the most beautiful woman in the world 😭😭😭

  • @nanomia
    @nanomia 5 месяцев назад +4

    Congratulations!!!

  • @jodie3950
    @jodie3950 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations Yusra! ❤

  • @Ello927
    @Ello927 5 месяцев назад +22

    I love this observation that you shared here, that no matter how much pretty privilege women have, it will be gone soon
    Also congratulations on your pregnancy💜💜🫶

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks so much!! ❤️🩷❤️

    • @leamubiu
      @leamubiu 5 месяцев назад +5

      Y’know, I always think of late Queen Elisabeth. She was a royal, with access to top-notch medical care, cosmetic and fashion professionals, etc. Gorgeous young lady, then she turned into a grandma. Very dignified and everything, but still a recognizably old lady. If *she* didn’t get to trump the passing of youth, why would the rest of us common folk hold onto any such delusion?

  • @iu9130
    @iu9130 5 месяцев назад +4

    woooah congratulations usra ❤

  • @merlinsreturn
    @merlinsreturn 5 месяцев назад +2

    I'm sending you many blessings and goodwill for a healthy pregnancy and baby!

  • @Lexxulv
    @Lexxulv 5 месяцев назад +5

    Congratulations!

  • @karllyfeng
    @karllyfeng 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations!! So excited for you! 🤍🤍🤍

  • @sarahela6009
    @sarahela6009 5 месяцев назад +6

    Congratulations Yusra 🎉 Take good care of you over your pregnancy 💛 Btw, you still look gorgeous and radiant ;)

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks so much! 🥹❤️

  • @_Fulgur_
    @_Fulgur_ 5 месяцев назад +8

    we as a society seriously need to stop taking the karshasians with even an ounce of care or curiosity. also congrats on the pregnancy!

  • @charliecleveland18
    @charliecleveland18 4 месяца назад

    You’ve been one of my favorite RUclipsrs since the beginning of your channel. Congratulations! I’d love a second channel because I’m newly pregnant too ❤

  • @Monika_Daddarwal
    @Monika_Daddarwal 4 месяца назад

    You'll do amazing, Yusra💛. Excited for the baby to have you as their mommy. :)))💛

  • @EZehraZeg
    @EZehraZeg 2 месяца назад

    I’ve been told by many women you’ve lost weight as opposed to saying you look great. It’s really sad that women comment on each other’s appearance. No one should comment regardless unless you’ve spoken to ppl about your goal. Some are either losing or gaining weight bc of hormonal, physical, mental, or medical issues. Thanks for bringing that up.

  • @SirinxDumplings
    @SirinxDumplings 5 месяцев назад +2

    Congratulations! this is amazing!

  • @jasmineyoungblood
    @jasmineyoungblood 4 месяца назад

    Awww 🥹🤎 congrats, Yusra❣️

  • @CeresIsABetterPlanetThanPluto
    @CeresIsABetterPlanetThanPluto 5 месяцев назад +1

    Annnnd the dude guy wanting his wife to lose the baby weight is never doing the one actual science backed thing that would actually help -- letting his wife sleep enough hours for her cortisol to drop. He just says useless crap like " sleep when the baby sleeps" as if the baby doesnt need to be held to sleep.
    From one mom to another-- the rule is 5 hours of consecutive sleep on the regular before anyone else's "needs" but the baby's are getting met with this body, including my own. Regardless of what I wish my body could do, my body needs sleep. Dont be hard on yourself. Nap instead of diet. Nap instead of workout. Nap instead of laundry. Nap instead of cooking. Nap instead of meeting your husbands needs. Because that's insane. Babies are only hellacious sleep stealers for a little while in the scheme of things. Everyone else can either step up or watch with you as the domestic world burns down. Moms do need a village. If you dont have one, you dont need to be one. It just means you've got to lower your expectations to limbo-ing in hell for a few months. Treat yourself like you would treat your husband after a major surgery. Because childbirth is a major surgery level of physical trauma. Your organs are literally still shifting around for *months*. Give yourself months of recovery

  • @wendywangechi6752
    @wendywangechi6752 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations, wishing you the very best on this new journey 😄

  • @sindiswadlamini2661
    @sindiswadlamini2661 5 месяцев назад +1

    Oh my, congratulations Usra! 🎉. I relate to your views a lot, and I love your content. If you start that motherhood experience channel, i would be definitely interested.

    • @bfbmain
      @bfbmain  5 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks sooo much! ❤️🩷

  • @LectioMundi
    @LectioMundi 5 месяцев назад

    I really enjoyed your thoughts and I can say I share them! I wish you a very happy and enjoyable pregnancy! May the force be with you!!! ⚔️❤

  • @Egggyyyyy
    @Egggyyyyy 5 месяцев назад +2

    I've just found your channel and I'm happy I did, anyways Congratulations mama! ❤️

  • @Coco-ki6zh
    @Coco-ki6zh 5 месяцев назад +5

    Congratulations 🎉❤

  • @08Davis2
    @08Davis2 5 месяцев назад +2

    Congrats!! 🎉

  • @BelenAntonia1004
    @BelenAntonia1004 5 месяцев назад +2

    "my dad had Playboy in the house" EXCUSE MEEEE?! That's disgusting

  • @rokhayas
    @rokhayas 5 месяцев назад +3

    aaw congrats ❤ i am so happy for you ❤🎉

  • @marilynking527
    @marilynking527 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations!!!! 🍾🎊🎈🎉

  • @felixfreckleshyunjinmoleye6243
    @felixfreckleshyunjinmoleye6243 5 месяцев назад +2

    Congratulations, I'm so happy for you.🍾🍾🍾🍾

  • @karamargot
    @karamargot 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations ❤

  • @__mN3O
    @__mN3O 5 месяцев назад

    As a long-term lurker on your channel, I am curious about your pregnancy journey, esp the nesting part and how you handle the changes to your life/the challenges you are facing. I don't think you need a separate channel for that, tho. Congratulations on your pregnancy ❤

  • @leamubiu
    @leamubiu 5 месяцев назад +3

    Make your pregnancy updates on this channel, but maybe titled specially (like a miniseries) and then sorted into a playlist :)

  • @Besafe782
    @Besafe782 5 месяцев назад +2

    Congratulations 🍾🎉🎈

  • @joyceadena
    @joyceadena 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations 😊🎉

  • @MsLexKnows
    @MsLexKnows 5 месяцев назад +1

    First of all, you always look beautiful!! Thank you for sharing your news and congratulations!
    Also, that story about the husband trying to tell his wife what to eat 😱 I would have definitely said something to him! “She just birthed your child dude, if she wants the left side of the menu, you say NOTHING and let her enjoy it!”

  • @paulatamaramohamad5794
    @paulatamaramohamad5794 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations 🎉🎉

  • @jessicanorris3614
    @jessicanorris3614 5 месяцев назад +3

    You are the prettiest girl in my room, rn.

  • @Oscarnodwannabe
    @Oscarnodwannabe 5 месяцев назад

    🎉 Congratulations!

  • @xpansivetaste
    @xpansivetaste 5 месяцев назад

    Eeehhh congratulations 🎉!!! I'm looking forward to when I get to join the mom club, pretty privilege or not ❤

  • @FSTECVBDXC
    @FSTECVBDXC 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thank God you exist

  • @teamTERF
    @teamTERF 5 месяцев назад +2

    People preferring pretty people is natural and unconscious. You can't control it.

  • @catcat9582
    @catcat9582 5 месяцев назад +4

    Ok... I want your take on the hawk tuah girl. We are shamed everywhere for our sexuality but for some reason men decided this girl gets a pass ?

    • @user-lc1lb8lp8k
      @user-lc1lb8lp8k 5 месяцев назад +2

      I would love a video on this! The whole thing is bizarre to me..I shouldn’t be surprised I guess. Sex sells after all…

    • @petalchild
      @petalchild 5 месяцев назад

      Maybe because it's all about mens pleasure lol

  • @mariyamkhandwani
    @mariyamkhandwani 5 месяцев назад

    Congratulations 🎉

  • @redbluebae4397
    @redbluebae4397 5 месяцев назад +1

    This!!

  • @coukie2936
    @coukie2936 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations i am so happy for you 🩷🎉🩷🎉🩷🎉🩷🎉

  • @jimmillhouse5912
    @jimmillhouse5912 5 месяцев назад

    The guy in the restaurant didn’t want a fat wife. Period.

  • @lolatiffhur
    @lolatiffhur 5 месяцев назад +5

    I feel so sorry for that woman in the couple you hung out with. Imagine having given birth and then the man you had a kid by tell you what to eat and what not to eat. I would start regretting having him as a father

  • @madnessarcade7447
    @madnessarcade7447 5 месяцев назад +4

    Movies and video games have pretty privilege too people always prioritize how it looks over what it offers like good cinematography or good graphics etc
    It’s a sad reality
    It’s a shame even things get pretty privilege projected on it too not just people it’s sad in both

  • @redbluebae4397
    @redbluebae4397 5 месяцев назад

    Ladies please read Beauty & Misogyny by Sheila Jeffries

  • @nerdtalknaija1
    @nerdtalknaija1 5 месяцев назад

    Hi do you have any videos that explore the romcom movie trope where the south Asian guy always ends up with a white female love interest e.g. Meet the Patel's, the big sick, master of none and more recently what's love got to do with it. I would like to see your analysis and also some insight from a male perspective as well

  • @RaeesAhmad-ye9pi
    @RaeesAhmad-ye9pi 5 месяцев назад +2

    ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  • @blankspace8281
    @blankspace8281 5 месяцев назад +2

    Looks only matter in the Patriarchy

    • @FencingMessiah
      @FencingMessiah 5 месяцев назад

      Lmao supercap. Babies even recognize good looking people. It will always matter for biological reasons

  • @sangomoon5456
    @sangomoon5456 4 месяца назад

    Algorithm

  • @441MsVanillaRose
    @441MsVanillaRose 5 месяцев назад +4

    Congratulations!

  • @sinovuyobudaza7167
    @sinovuyobudaza7167 5 месяцев назад +2

    Congratulations 🎉❤

  • @nataliepyn1
    @nataliepyn1 5 месяцев назад +3

    Congratulations!!!

  • @Nperidot04
    @Nperidot04 4 месяца назад

    Congratulations 💖

  • @misfitneverfitin
    @misfitneverfitin 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations ❤❤🎉

  • @oneofeverything9820
    @oneofeverything9820 5 месяцев назад +2

    Congratulations 💕💕💕

  • @hidayaaasmi6464
    @hidayaaasmi6464 5 месяцев назад +1

    Congratulations ❤❤❤❤