Uynh, my husband and I got married at age 31 after 9 years of dating. Being Vietnamese, it was a constant questioning by family members (mine mainly) when we will have children. We are both turning 50 in the next 6 months, and I am still being asked when we will have children. Ha! 😂 I love children, especially babies and toddlers, but it was never our main goal to get married. The thing is, ONLY have children if and when both you and your spouse want to be parents. Don't have children under pressure by family, friends, and society. The best parents are parents who want to be parents and who are willing to be completely and unselfishly devoted to their children 😊. We are known to be the really loving and fun auntie and uncle - probably because we don't have children of our own to be worn down by 😁😂
This is true. I have never wanted to have children of my own, but I've enjoyed being around my nieces and nephews my whole life. I actually like kids (still don't want kids tho) and now I'm trying my best to be the fun auntie who spoils her sister's kids! I am never so proud as when one of my relatives calls me "Auntie"!
And to be honest, it's very important to think about the future that your children will have as they grow up. Your baby will not be a baby forever, they will one day become an adult and have to work and deal with the world and its adversities, and every year things get harder and harder. The job market is tougher, the real estate is as dry as a desert, we're staring down a climate catastrophe... honestly, if you analyse all our current problems, it's best to hold off having children until things become stable once again.
You have excellent instincts. If you do have children someday, you will be more exhausted than you can imagine, at times (especially in the beginning with a newborn), but your children will be in good hands. There is nothing more difficult, more heartbreaking, or more rewarding and joyful, than being a parent.
And never let anyone pressure you or tell you otherwise! If you want kids, great! Do it for you as a couple! But never ever feel bad to not have kids either, I’m in my 30s and happily without children and together with my partner of 10yrs :)
I love how open you are about having anxiety because I have anxiety too and sometimes also worry about having children when I’m older. But I wanted to let you know that you come across as such a positive and kind person and I think you would make an amazing mother. God bless!
I started teaching my daughter sign language starting at a few months old. She just turned 2 and uses 54 asl words regularly! It's so worth it and rewarding! And she's learning another language through it 😊
As a German mom of two kids aged 3 and 4 who doesn’t have any support from other family members (other than my partner of course) I am very impressed by your way of thinking about having kids. You’re first of all very realistic and honest with yourself, many people often romanticise having a baby and don’t see how tough it actually is. Secondly, the thought of earning enough money to then be able to hire a nanny - brilliant! If you can do that, do it! Not only for having some help but also in regards to the increasing problems with childcare (Kitanotstand). And last but not least - it’s very brave to say upfront that you don’t want to be a stay at home mom and I totally support that. It definitely isn’t for everyone (I am one and you can get very lonely at times). Having said all that - I’m very sure you’d be great parents! :)
In my experience, it's one thing to care for someone else's child and another to take care of your own child. There is a desire to go through all the struggles day-in and day-out because you want what is best for them. All the parents I have met, from working parents to at home parents, they have almost all told me it is worth the effort. Before too long, the kid starts to develop a personality and increasing levels of autonomy - they become more interesting and parenting gets a little more fun. It's a lifelong commitment to love them, care for them, worry about them - it's not for everyone, but nearly all the people I've met who went through it say they have no regrets.
That's because it's very difficult to be honest and tell people that you regret your own kids. There is always that fear that your kids find out somehow and feel unloved (although most people would love their kids even if they regret having them). Regretting motherhood is a thing, google it.
They have no choice but to tell you that or else they'll look bad. It's selfish to decide to have kids, so they have no choice but to deal with the consequences of their selfishness.
@@quiznak1003 I don't think it's fair to call a biological imperative selfish. I don't judge those that don't want children, I don't want children, but I also don't judge those who do. Is it better to adopt? Maybe ... but the urge to procreate is built into our species. What I consider selfish is having many children when there is no "need" to - for example, in more rural countries or countries with high infant mortality rates, having many children may be "necessary". As having multiple children means there is a better chance of having one of them reach adulthood. However, in countries like the US or some countries in Europe, I think having 3+ children is ... remarkably selfish. Also, I would not say that those people "do not have a choice" but to tell me those things. I have had more than one person tell me that they did regret it. However, they are in the minority. My grandmother was forced (by her parents) to marry my grandfather and have my mother because she became pregnant in high school. She then had three more children with him. She told me that she resented her children, my mom in particular, because of it. She didn't change her mind until after I was born. In the last decade of her life though, she grew to really appreciate my mom as she was the only one of her children who cared for her despite her irritable personality during her cancer treatment. She and my mom made peace and by the time she died her opinion had changed. She told me that she no longer regretted having her children - she enjoyed being a grandmother and she wasn't lonely in the last years of her life because her family stood by her. Feelings are fickle things - they change due to experiences and moods. Make your decision based on the outcome that you truly want in the long run. Don't have kids because you think they will cure you or heal your marriage or because you want to see another 'you' in the world. Have them because you want to meet a new little person - a person that you want to love, mentor, and guide through life. They can be biological or adopted or from IVF ... so long as the commitment and the love is there, the rest doesn't really matter. Apologies for the long reply, I won't be responding further, but I do hope you have a good day!
I did some research about this & based on his age it’s possible that some of the time when he holds out food to you it’s to show you that he’s eating his food, not because he wants to share! So tell him what the food is that he’s holding and that he’s doing a good job, and see if that makes him happy. He understands it’s a task he needs to perform so he’s showing you that he’s doing it because he wants to make you proud :)
As a mother myself who has raised my own biological daughter and two step kids, I’m here to tell you, you’re never honestly ready. I got pregnant at 22 and had my daughter at 23. I was super scared and super nervous. I never been around a newborn or babies really, and thought I would be terrible. I cried the first week bc I felt like a bad mom bc I didn’t connect with my daughter immediately. I loved her dont get me wrong, but I suffered in the beginning with post partum that no one told me about and really felt like a failure. 14 yrs later, I have began to get the hang of it, but you can plan and practice but you will never be fully prepared. It’s trial and error, but I have never been happier. You learn that you’re just not that important, and that others needs come before your own. I will always meet my kids needs first before thinking about mine, to have someone depend on you is daunting at times but rewarding too. It makes me work harder and achieve more, bc I know I can’t fail bc I have to be there for them, so failure isn’t an option. You learn what true love really means. I love my husband but it can’t compare to the love for my kids. I would literally die for them and have no problem taking anyone out who harms them. You will be a fantastic mom, it’s not everyone’s path, but for me it was. Maybe one day it will be yours too. (post partum is a real thing, so don’t feel bad if you get it too. Some women get it to various degrees. Mine was a light form, basically a really bad case of PMS is what it felt like.)
I think German boyfriend would make a great stay at home dad. As a biologist he and the baby would spend a lot of time outside exploring nature, enjoying the coming and going of each season. You guys will be ok ☀️👍🏾
I’m Hong Kong-Singaporean Asian and I can relate so much to how Asian family members can’t help themselves but tell you to fix your appearance - hair, gain weight on the face… I’m the same as you, I say that’s how I look on a regular day. I’m so glad I am and my husband is fine with how I look
My husband and I are happily childfree at 47 (me) and 42 (him). I was a nanny for many years and having kids everyday for years on end is a lot of work. It can be lonely as well.
People are like those frozen juices you can buy at the grocery store- the ones you just add water too. As children, we’re all the sugar and sweet and flavour of the frozen juice concentrate in the freezer. As we grow, become bigger and develop and become adults, more water is added to our juice concentrate from the freezer, diluting our energy stores. I’ve mentioned this to people before as to why and how kids have so much energy, and they just laugh and agree😂
My son is about the same age and it's hard to take of a toddler! Actually I have three children and I am very similar to you; very anxious and living in a foreign country far away from my family. We don't have much help with the kids, but luckily there is daycare and school. Our children have gone to daycare when they turned one year old and I returned to work. So you don't need to do everything alone! But it's true that the house is always a mess, there is no time to do anything and we parents are always tired... Especially with three children. 🙈 There is no hurry having kids (you are still under 30 no?) if you don't feel ready, but I must say that I don't believe you can ever be totally ready and the perfect moment doesn't exist. Also have to ask why doesn't the child have a highchair with seatbelts? You don't use those? And I don't think force feeding is the way to go. It's better to let him eat by himself and offer foods he likes. ✌🏼 Milk is also more economic (and healthy) if breastfeed instead of buying it from the store. You are lucky if you can do this job because you don't need to work long hours and could spend lots of time with you child. ❤
Something I learned was that many Southeast Asian cultures believe children under a certain age are unteachable and that is not correct. As soon as a year old he can be taught all kinds of communication and skills. He can learn to read and say things if you speak to him plainly instead of baby talk. Sign language is so important because they learned to control their hands before their words, and this gives them a way to tell you what they need and feel. He can even be taught to use the toilet at this age. Getting rid of the diaper would improve his running and balance.
I think that you two will become wonderful parents at the right time. Your fiancé seems gentle and understanding. I wish my father was like that. Just don’t overthink things, Ok? You would only be torturing yourself, because no one can ever really be prepared for a baby before it actually arrives, if you ask me. Each child is different, but you would get the baby with your personality and your German fiancée’s personality, so I think the baby will be gentle and smart!
Smart kid he is listening to you I could tell from the start :) I love that about kids. Magical. You are a really cool women. I would watch you do crafts and business. Heck I watch this channel quite a bit and it's a business.
Well it's a fair test. So many people don't even have a fraction of the foresight to practice dealing with a baby, should they get the rare opportunity, before becoming responsible for one of their own.
Interesting~ 3 hours to prepare lunch o.o? That seems incredibly inefficient and I wonder why it took so long. Do the ingredients they use need a lot of processing/preparing?
3:51 Lmao that reminds me, my mum says when I was a baby (so still sleeping in her room) I wouldn't go to sleep for hours and hours 😭😭😂, I feel pretty bad for her cuz I would keep her awake for ages. Then as I got older I still had problems going to sleep (going to bed at around 8pm and sleeping at 11pm) and I was eventually diagnosed with adhd and given pills to help me sleep haha. I still use them and they make a massive difference!
My pediatrician insisted my baby drink totally from a cup at 8 months old and be off the bottle. I got my baby off the bottle at 1 yr. Old. My pediatrician was not happy with me.😮
The worst thing about having children is how cute they come out. You immediately think "Yeah, I can handle one more." And then the first one turns 3 and you're EXHAUSTED 24/7.
In an ideal world, women would have it like the rich women in the old days, who all had several nannies and maids. Then it would be no problem having a bunch of kids lol.
@saratemp790 right? Must've been weird though? I was so hands on with my boys and barely let anyone else watch them, lol. But, it would've been nice to have a break from a nanny or maid so I could sip lemonade by my rich lady pool, wouldn't it have? 😂🫶
I just wanted to say, Uyen, that I never thought to myself that you looked "messy" or not put together in this video. I think you bring a really genuine feel to your videos, and it felt like I was in the room with one of my own friends😊❤
During the pandemic when I couldn't see my toddler niece in person for almost 2 years, my grandparents kept a photo of me at the supper table and when my niece was over for lunch, they had lunch with Auntie too. She ran up and hugged me when we finally saw each other in person
This isn’t the point of the video, but Uyen’s sister telling her she should make herself look better reminds me of the shorts she’s made about her weight journey. She takes their comments in stride (even the follow-up “you always look like this”) and doesn’t cow to their expectations or commentary. Lovely to see ☺️
Exactly, and because you can't quantify it, men will say you do nothing all day. But it goes by in a blur and is exhausting even if you can't list all the dozens of tiny tasks.
I say that keeping the tiny human alive and in good health is a HUGE amount of stuff that got done. I'm happy for her for taking this time with her nephew 😊
It’s so weird how i still get surprised about how compassionate german boyfriend is. A man offering to be a stay home dad??????? We shouldn’t be so shocked about this, but we do because for so many men the dream is about being a “father” not a “dad” or “daddy”. You are so great together ❤❤❤
i am shocked by fathers whose only way to connect to their children is to play with them occasionally. if you have a man you does not want to take care of his child then please dont have a child with him. no kid deserves messed up parents.
I think maybe it depends where you come from and what is culturally normal where you live. I am British, living in Germany and my husband was a stay at home dad back in 2001....so really not a new concept at all ha
Yeah, it's nice to see that things really have changed, in that regard. A lot of young men these days want to be very actively involved in their children's life.
Exactly, it's not an obligation! Don't let anyone push you to meet THEIR expactations. I have 4 grown-up children. Two of them don't want to have kids of their own. And that's alright!
@UYEN, How do you feel now seeing your mom so kind and patient with the baby? You told us how strict she was when you were little and I had a similar experience. It was both wholesome and painful to see my mom so different with my baby (then I remember her being with me as a little kid). I'm Eastern European, so I identify a lot with your stories.
Ich habe das so ähnlich erlebt- und mein Mann ebenfalls. ( Wir sind beide Deutsche) Vielleicht war das Verhalten unserer Eltern auf eine etwas andere Art schädlich- aber auf jeden Fall schädlich. Mit unseren Kindern sind sie liebevoll umgegangen. Meine Schwiegereltern haben manchmal gesagt ( und häufig durchblicken lassen) dass sie manches im Nachhinein nicht gut finden. Aber sie waren eben Kinder ihrer zeit (gibt es diesen Ausdruck in anderen Sprachen auch?) Und wussten es nicht besser. Das ist heilsam. Meine Eltern sind überzeugt, alles richtig gemacht zu haben. Das tut weh. Unsere Kinder sind mittlerweile Teenies, keine süßen Kleinkinder mehr. Und jetzt können meine Eltern nicht mehr viel mit ihnen anfangen- meine Schwiegereltern schon. Für mich kam die Heilung dadurch, dass ich mit meinen Kindern anders umgehe, als mit mir umgegangen wurde.
It's a grandparent "thing" particularly female grandparent, i read there is a biological basis for this. It wasn't like this in my fam, but we're weird
@@dieechtemissmarple In English, we say someone is "a product of their environment" to mean that they are the way they are because of the people around them, the place they come from, and the time period.
@wannabetrucker7475 I certainly felt different towards my grandchild than I did with my children. I can't really explain it, but I see it in other grandparents too. It made me understand why my mother treated her grandkids quite differently to tje way she treated me.
@@juststoppingby390 Who knows maybe they already registered their marriage. Now preparing for the ceremony. It would be such a good news if they really registered *-*
Your nephew is a very well-behaved 18 month old boy. A lot of kids would not have sat still for as long as your nephew did during various parts of filming.
He eats all his food, peed on me and let me touch him after 2 days...is he a cat? 😅 so cute to hear honest thoughts from a woman who hasn't had a baby yet, I don't have kids so this had me laughing.
I love how real you are with this! Children are a LOT of work and emotionally and physically taxing. I’m glad that you’re thinking so thoroughly about everything it takes to have a kid. More people should be like you in that way. I feel like too many people have kids without thinking it through enough and as a result the kid and them suffer a lot.
Being an older mom, my advice to you is have them now. I waited until I was 39 to have my daughter and let’s just say I wish I had her when I was younger because I don’t have the same energy.
In my experience there is never time for a mom, even sleep can be difficult. Some parents hardly get any sleep because their babies and toddlers don't sleep. It is a very valid consideration to ask yourself if you want to go through with having your own child. It is exhausting. And with anxiety it's even harder. Anxiety is serious but we can work on ourselves and get out of it. That also takes time which is well invested in my humble opinion. Let me say that I like to watch your videos: they are so much fun, I like the way you look at things and how open you and your bf are towards all the cultural differences. This will help you very much expanding and learning that things are always working out which you already know, I am sure. Best of luck and much success with your business! ;-)
Until the age of 5 its nearly impossible for kids to sit down & stay put for eating, they are physically, developmentally not really able to. So its great to see that grandmas are feeding the kids while carrying, it makes so much sense for their little brains & bodies and helps them grow more independent. edit: recently learned a parenting hack - when kids dont want to do something (eating, brushing teeth etc), it often helps if "someone else" asks them to. Like make the spoon talk, or a handpuppet out of a sock / washing cloth or any item around you, the items can also talk about being hungry & sleepy and needing energy for playing, which then helps the kids recognise their own needs. Sometimes they can hear better from a spoon than from the parents 😅
I'm surprised to hear that, I've never met a child that didn't eat sitting down. I guess in Vietnam they don't have high chairs for toddlers? They are common in Western countries. Any child I've met has eaten quite happily when sitting in their high chair.
Every preschool ever would beg to differ. They expect kids to sit at a table to eat because allowing toddlers to run around while they eat is a massive choking hazard.
My son, 12 m/o, just learned how to walk. Imagine any meal he want to take is like this: Running one roubd through the living room, pick a bite from my hand, walk the next round, rinse, repeat
I have 6 kids. From experience, I will say that the love that you will have for a child that belongs to you (even adopted) cannot be experienced until you have your own.
I think that it's just because they've been together for so long and they're getting married so soon that it probably just already feels like they're married
If you get a Baby, you can hire an Au-Pair oder get him a Kita place, which is more affordable. Most working mums say in advance they will go working again after Baby Pause, as soon as they can, but afterwards they'll enjoy staying at home more
I think you would make a wonderful mother. You seem to have a very realistic idea of what being a parent will be like. The choice to become a parent or not is very personal and i appreciate your honesty about it.
If it helps, toddlers don't need toddler milk. It's just a profit grab. After 12 months, you can start transitioning from formula to cow's milk. Most nutrients should come from his solid meals. Help your sister save money!
That's what I was thinking, but my youngest just turned 18 so I didn't know if things changed or its a cultural thing. (I'm in the U.S.) It could also be a milk allergy thing. My kids are half Asian and can't all tolerate cow's milk.
Other countries don't always have a large enough (or safely regulated enough) domestic dairy industry. Which would mean buying imported refrigerated milk at a higher cost anyway. Perhaps this is the reason why ...
You will definitely figure out what is right for you! And I totally understand your perspective! I was so tired caring for my friends’ kids but when I had my own, yes, I was tired (little babies wake up at night) but it felt way different. You have immeasurable love for your own and you set the schedule and mood of the house. We had daily quiet time, naps, walks, etc. which felt peaceful in-between all the running around. It sounds counterintuitive, but the more kids in your house, the easier it is. I have three, and while, that was crazy when they were all little, when they all played and when we had other children over, they all played together. As opposed to only having one, and you are the only source of their entertainment. It took some time, but we also found our village by way of new friends we made at our kids’ schools. It is very helpful, even now that they are all teenagers, for carpools and hanging out at each other‘s house. No matter what, if you do decide to have kids, just know that you will know your baby best.
When my niece was about 9 months old until she was about 2 years old, I watched her 5 days a week from 7 AM to 6 PM. She was considered to be an easy baby, and she was. She didn't cry much and she listened very well, didn't have a whole lot of tantrums, at least not really bad ones. It was still EXHAUSTING. Every night I would go home feeling so tired, and that's when I realized that being a parent is probably the hardest job on earth, and I still feel that way. Constantly watching them to make sure they don't accidentally kill themselves, potty training (ugh, the potty training), making them food that's healthy and the way they want it and then trying to find alternatives when they don't want to eat the same thing they eat every day, entertaining them, making sure they stay down for nap (I napped when she did, I'm not kidding lol). I didn't think there was any way I could handle having a kid of my own. And that was just for a year and a half on weekdays! I could not fathom how my mother or brother or sister-in-law could do this all day every day. Since then, and since also babysitting her little brother and my best friend's, I'm more confident that I could handle being a parent, but I'm definitely still not ready to become one. The financial stress, mental healthy issues (I also have severe anxiety), the fact that you have to constantly worry about someone hurting your child, not to mention the fact that pregnancy itself and giving birth is terrifying enough, are all just some of the reasons why I'm not ready yet. I'm taking my time until I'm selfless enough to do so and financially able to. And Uyen, you did much better with your nephew than I did with my niece the very first time I babysat her, and she was much younger! So don't be too hard on yourself. When you and German boyfriend are ready, I'm sure you'll both be great parents.
I did not know she was officially married. :24 So I guess they are married, but they are going to have the wedding afterwards. Edit- then why does she still call him her German boyfriend instead of her German husband?
they kept their engagement private for a while so they might just be very used to the term "boyfriend". or theyve been together for so long that theyre practically as good as married and ready to think about kids
Realistically speaking, she won't be able to afford a "nanny" in Germany. Hardly anyone here can, unless you're *really* rich. Maybe a babysitter for a few hours a week is enough if you want to go out with your partner in the evening. But it's common to put your child in a daycare center at the age of one or three at the latest.
I don’t know how other people do it, but my kids have been helping me clean the house since they were 3. You just have to show them, guide them, and give them praise when they do a good job.
I'm blown away when other people are blown away by the fact that my teenagers have chores! They have had chores since they were toddlers, they have just changed over time.
Good job, Uyen. For me, kids are cute up to about 5, then they start having attitude then I lose interest 🤣. I enjoy playing with little kids, but I enjoy the moment I give them back to their parents even more.
Sign language for baby is a must. My baby is now 24 years old, when I was pregnant with him I heard about sign language for babies and it made so much sense. At that time I think they suggested 9 months to start teaching it but I had to teach myself & husband so I started with him @ 5 months so that by 9 months I would've learned the signs. He learned faster than I did. Within a day or 2 he was signing for milk & more. So we added more signs; please, thank you, change, airplane, bird, shoes, socks, mommy, daddy. If he didn't know a sign he made one up. By the time he started to speak he knew over 100 signs. This made for a baby then toddler that was never frustrated or crying because he could communicate with his hands. Still my son is peaceful and has great communication skills.
I don't know how anyone does it, honestly. I never wanted kids and while I think they are cute and fun to be around for brief periods, I could never imagine myself being responsible for raising a human!
You did great. And to be honest before being a mother I babysat many many times and different children. But it was different with my own children. You know then intimately and they you. You get I to a routine and it's so much easier than looking after someone else's child
Vietnamese nephew is almost as good a side character as German fiancé 😇
Wow, RUclips!
What is RUclips doing here? 😂😮
hey girl
Hey hey German fiance is the main character with uyen get your facts straight unpaid intern
Hi youtube
Uynh, my husband and I got married at age 31 after 9 years of dating. Being Vietnamese, it was a constant questioning by family members (mine mainly) when we will have children. We are both turning 50 in the next 6 months, and I am still being asked when we will have children. Ha! 😂 I love children, especially babies and toddlers, but it was never our main goal to get married. The thing is, ONLY have children if and when both you and your spouse want to be parents. Don't have children under pressure by family, friends, and society. The best parents are parents who want to be parents and who are willing to be completely and unselfishly devoted to their children 😊. We are known to be the really loving and fun auntie and uncle - probably because we don't have children of our own to be worn down by 😁😂
This is true. I have never wanted to have children of my own, but I've enjoyed being around my nieces and nephews my whole life. I actually like kids (still don't want kids tho) and now I'm trying my best to be the fun auntie who spoils her sister's kids! I am never so proud as when one of my relatives calls me "Auntie"!
And to be honest, it's very important to think about the future that your children will have as they grow up. Your baby will not be a baby forever, they will one day become an adult and have to work and deal with the world and its adversities, and every year things get harder and harder. The job market is tougher, the real estate is as dry as a desert, we're staring down a climate catastrophe... honestly, if you analyse all our current problems, it's best to hold off having children until things become stable once again.
@okapi7559 Things have never been good and stable. Your ancestors had kids through famine, world wars and immense poverty.
@@okapibibiI am sure your grandparents and your parents thought the same but still had you.
I concur@@cyberspace7208
You have excellent instincts. If you do have children someday, you will be more exhausted than you can imagine, at times (especially in the beginning with a newborn), but your children will be in good hands. There is nothing more difficult, more heartbreaking, or more rewarding and joyful, than being a parent.
The kid question - that’s totally up to you and to your fiancé. It’s nobody’s business but yours and your fiancé’s - it’s your decision. 🙂
And never let anyone pressure you or tell you otherwise! If you want kids, great! Do it for you as a couple! But never ever feel bad to not have kids either, I’m in my 30s and happily without children and together with my partner of 10yrs :)
I love how open you are about having anxiety because I have anxiety too and sometimes also worry about having children when I’m older. But I wanted to let you know that you come across as such a positive and kind person and I think you would make an amazing mother. God bless!
I started teaching my daughter sign language starting at a few months old. She just turned 2 and uses 54 asl words regularly! It's so worth it and rewarding! And she's learning another language through it 😊
We did the same. It is really helpful. They can communicate, so there are less meltdowns also. I highly recommend it.
As a German mom of two kids aged 3 and 4 who doesn’t have any support from other family members (other than my partner of course) I am very impressed by your way of thinking about having kids. You’re first of all very realistic and honest with yourself, many people often romanticise having a baby and don’t see how tough it actually is. Secondly, the thought of earning enough money to then be able to hire a nanny - brilliant! If you can do that, do it! Not only for having some help but also in regards to the increasing problems with childcare (Kitanotstand). And last but not least - it’s very brave to say upfront that you don’t want to be a stay at home mom and I totally support that. It definitely isn’t for everyone (I am one and you can get very lonely at times).
Having said all that - I’m very sure you’d be great parents! :)
In my experience, it's one thing to care for someone else's child and another to take care of your own child. There is a desire to go through all the struggles day-in and day-out because you want what is best for them. All the parents I have met, from working parents to at home parents, they have almost all told me it is worth the effort. Before too long, the kid starts to develop a personality and increasing levels of autonomy - they become more interesting and parenting gets a little more fun. It's a lifelong commitment to love them, care for them, worry about them - it's not for everyone, but nearly all the people I've met who went through it say they have no regrets.
That's because it's very difficult to be honest and tell people that you regret your own kids. There is always that fear that your kids find out somehow and feel unloved (although most people would love their kids even if they regret having them). Regretting motherhood is a thing, google it.
yes!
That's wonderful!
They have no choice but to tell you that or else they'll look bad. It's selfish to decide to have kids, so they have no choice but to deal with the consequences of their selfishness.
@@quiznak1003 I don't think it's fair to call a biological imperative selfish. I don't judge those that don't want children, I don't want children, but I also don't judge those who do. Is it better to adopt? Maybe ... but the urge to procreate is built into our species. What I consider selfish is having many children when there is no "need" to - for example, in more rural countries or countries with high infant mortality rates, having many children may be "necessary". As having multiple children means there is a better chance of having one of them reach adulthood. However, in countries like the US or some countries in Europe, I think having 3+ children is ... remarkably selfish.
Also, I would not say that those people "do not have a choice" but to tell me those things. I have had more than one person tell me that they did regret it. However, they are in the minority. My grandmother was forced (by her parents) to marry my grandfather and have my mother because she became pregnant in high school. She then had three more children with him. She told me that she resented her children, my mom in particular, because of it. She didn't change her mind until after I was born. In the last decade of her life though, she grew to really appreciate my mom as she was the only one of her children who cared for her despite her irritable personality during her cancer treatment. She and my mom made peace and by the time she died her opinion had changed. She told me that she no longer regretted having her children - she enjoyed being a grandmother and she wasn't lonely in the last years of her life because her family stood by her.
Feelings are fickle things - they change due to experiences and moods. Make your decision based on the outcome that you truly want in the long run. Don't have kids because you think they will cure you or heal your marriage or because you want to see another 'you' in the world. Have them because you want to meet a new little person - a person that you want to love, mentor, and guide through life. They can be biological or adopted or from IVF ... so long as the commitment and the love is there, the rest doesn't really matter.
Apologies for the long reply, I won't be responding further, but I do hope you have a good day!
The concept of having a true name you dont want bad spirits to hear is common in Ireland too. Its so cool cultures share similar stories
I did some research about this & based on his age it’s possible that some of the time when he holds out food to you it’s to show you that he’s eating his food, not because he wants to share! So tell him what the food is that he’s holding and that he’s doing a good job, and see if that makes him happy. He understands it’s a task he needs to perform so he’s showing you that he’s doing it because he wants to make you proud :)
As a mother myself who has raised my own biological daughter and two step kids, I’m here to tell you, you’re never honestly ready. I got pregnant at 22 and had my daughter at 23. I was super scared and super nervous. I never been around a newborn or babies really, and thought I would be terrible. I cried the first week bc I felt like a bad mom bc I didn’t connect with my daughter immediately. I loved her dont get me wrong, but I suffered in the beginning with post partum that no one told me about and really felt like a failure. 14 yrs later, I have began to get the hang of it, but you can plan and practice but you will never be fully prepared. It’s trial and error, but I have never been happier. You learn that you’re just not that important, and that others needs come before your own. I will always meet my kids needs first before thinking about mine, to have someone depend on you is daunting at times but rewarding too. It makes me work harder and achieve more, bc I know I can’t fail bc I have to be there for them, so failure isn’t an option. You learn what true love really means. I love my husband but it can’t compare to the love for my kids. I would literally die for them and have no problem taking anyone out who harms them. You will be a fantastic mom, it’s not everyone’s path, but for me it was. Maybe one day it will be yours too. (post partum is a real thing, so don’t feel bad if you get it too. Some women get it to various degrees. Mine was a light form, basically a really bad case of PMS is what it felt like.)
Teaching toddlers basic sign is a must for so many reasons!!
I think German boyfriend would make a great stay at home dad. As a biologist he and the baby would spend a lot of time outside exploring nature, enjoying the coming and going of each season.
You guys will be ok ☀️👍🏾
Very lucky girl to have such an incredible bf. True soulmate !! ❤❤
that's cute Ninh, you appear as yourself and show your true thinking.
I’m Hong Kong-Singaporean Asian and I can relate so much to how Asian family members can’t help themselves but tell you to fix your appearance - hair, gain weight on the face… I’m the same as you, I say that’s how I look on a regular day. I’m so glad I am and my husband is fine with how I look
Go to an appliance store and get a big box and decorate. Their own little play house for cheap and disposable after use.
You still young girl is good to be mother in that age in 29 years old I was to have my child❤
My husband and I are happily childfree at 47 (me) and 42 (him). I was a nanny for many years and having kids everyday for years on end is a lot of work. It can be lonely as well.
People are like those frozen juices you can buy at the grocery store- the ones you just add water too.
As children, we’re all the sugar and sweet and flavour of the frozen juice concentrate in the freezer.
As we grow, become bigger and develop and become adults, more water is added to our juice concentrate from the freezer, diluting our energy stores.
I’ve mentioned this to people before as to why and how kids have so much energy, and they just laugh and agree😂
My son is about the same age and it's hard to take of a toddler! Actually I have three children and I am very similar to you; very anxious and living in a foreign country far away from my family. We don't have much help with the kids, but luckily there is daycare and school. Our children have gone to daycare when they turned one year old and I returned to work. So you don't need to do everything alone! But it's true that the house is always a mess, there is no time to do anything and we parents are always tired... Especially with three children. 🙈
There is no hurry having kids (you are still under 30 no?) if you don't feel ready, but I must say that I don't believe you can ever be totally ready and the perfect moment doesn't exist.
Also have to ask why doesn't the child have a highchair with seatbelts? You don't use those? And I don't think force feeding is the way to go. It's better to let him eat by himself and offer foods he likes. ✌🏼 Milk is also more economic (and healthy) if breastfeed instead of buying it from the store. You are lucky if you can do this job because you don't need to work long hours and could spend lots of time with you child. ❤
It is a really hard job, but it is very rewarding♥️
Join the gym concentrate on endurance and strength because they don't get tired, And after a short nap, they're fully charged.
Something I learned was that many Southeast Asian cultures believe children under a certain age are unteachable and that is not correct. As soon as a year old he can be taught all kinds of communication and skills. He can learn to read and say things if you speak to him plainly instead of baby talk. Sign language is so important because they learned to control their hands before their words, and this gives them a way to tell you what they need and feel. He can even be taught to use the toilet at this age. Getting rid of the diaper would improve his running and balance.
Your hair is SO pretty!!!! I love the color, shean & just now pretty it is.
German Boyfriend would be a spectacular dad based on the many, limited glimpses into their world that I’ve seen.
I love the cute drawings you used to hide the faces. You could make a cute short animation video for us! You’re very talented!
I think that you two will become wonderful parents at the right time. Your fiancé seems gentle and understanding. I wish my father was like that. Just don’t overthink things, Ok? You would only be torturing yourself, because no one can ever really be prepared for a baby before it actually arrives, if you ask me. Each child is different, but you would get the baby with your personality and your German fiancée’s personality, so I think the baby will be gentle and smart!
Prayers! Jesus will show you what to do. ❤
Smart kid he is listening to you I could tell from the start :) I love that about kids. Magical.
You are a really cool women. I would watch you do crafts and business. Heck I watch this channel quite a bit and it's a business.
This is so cute ☺️ Love that German boyfriend might want to be a stay at home dad!!
Nice to meet you Uyen, you were such a nice person and you make me smile soo much. Nobody can survive that mission☠😭😱
Awww ❤. You’d be a great mother should you and German Boyfriend decide to become parents. Also, MARRIED??? 👀. Did I hear that right!?
Well it's a fair test. So many people don't even have a fraction of the foresight to practice dealing with a baby, should they get the rare opportunity, before becoming responsible for one of their own.
Love your channel
You are wonderful, 🎉🎉Uyen. I love your videos
11:21 I like that you keep it real we dont see that a lot on social media
A toddler....... girl when you give birth to a newborn baby that's a whole other level.
First
Love u Uyen :D
Interesting~ 3 hours to prepare lunch o.o? That seems incredibly inefficient and I wonder why it took so long. Do the ingredients they use need a lot of processing/preparing?
3:51 Lmao that reminds me, my mum says when I was a baby (so still sleeping in her room) I wouldn't go to sleep for hours and hours 😭😭😂, I feel pretty bad for her cuz I would keep her awake for ages. Then as I got older I still had problems going to sleep (going to bed at around 8pm and sleeping at 11pm) and I was eventually diagnosed with adhd and given pills to help me sleep haha. I still use them and they make a massive difference!
My pediatrician insisted my baby drink totally from a cup at 8 months old and be off the bottle. I got my baby off the bottle at 1 yr. Old. My pediatrician was not happy with me.😮
For Heaven's sake, why?Many babies are breastfed for a year. Very strange advice.
Amie cảm ơn chị CEO giữ mầm non Uyen chia sẻ nha 😊
Toddlers are much harder than babies. Its easier if you take them out to play. Then they come home and nap.
Toddlers are easier to take care of than actual babies. It is hard. It is very hard for single moms, like me.
“He just pee on me”
My parents tried the same, tested and failed.
You skipped the hard years. But watching a toddler is still basically constantly suicide watch
I love that she achieved all this footage without showing his face!
she had practice from hiding her husbands face in her videos 😅😆
I love the emojis she chose to cover her mom's and nephew's faces. Cute.
That's a really really weird thing to love renee
Giving a child privacy isn't that strange of a thing to love, so many plaster the face of children online@@bushlovesska
it reminds you what these family bloggers should be doing 🙃
"so tiny but has so much energy" is the quintessential baby experience
Especially that age - walking about and independent but still young enough that they still require a lot of help and supervision.
Sometimes they become overstimulated and that keeps them from falling asleep easily.
German boyfriend saying he would want to be a stay at home dad just warmed my heart 😭🩷
He apparently is now "German husband"
German boyfriend realised also all the extra toys and fun he could have while also being caring.
The worst thing about having children is how cute they come out. You immediately think "Yeah, I can handle one more." And then the first one turns 3 and you're EXHAUSTED 24/7.
😂 facts
In an ideal world, women would have it like the rich women in the old days, who all had several nannies and maids. Then it would be no problem having a bunch of kids lol.
@saratemp790 right? Must've been weird though? I was so hands on with my boys and barely let anyone else watch them, lol. But, it would've been nice to have a break from a nanny or maid so I could sip lemonade by my rich lady pool, wouldn't it have? 😂🫶
At least two so they can occupy each other! Being an only child must be boring 😮
Literally me. 1st, easy, 2nd, not bad, 3rd now, I'm done, how did it go to feeling like taking care of 50?!
I miss the little dude! 😆
HII GERMAN BF
A wild German Boyfriend has been spotted!
Since having a kid myself, the saying "Kids don't need toys, they need things to play with" makes so much more sense
I just wanted to say, Uyen, that I never thought to myself that you looked "messy" or not put together in this video. I think you bring a really genuine feel to your videos, and it felt like I was in the room with one of my own friends😊❤
During the pandemic when I couldn't see my toddler niece in person for almost 2 years, my grandparents kept a photo of me at the supper table and when my niece was over for lunch, they had lunch with Auntie too. She ran up and hugged me when we finally saw each other in person
Stop this is adorable ❤❤❤❤
When I went to uni, my parents used to video call me and put me at the end of the dinner table 😆
@@hannahk1306I had that too! I was constantly having to call out though like “excuse me move the butter ?? Pick me up? “ 😂
Omg so cute ❤
This isn’t the point of the video, but Uyen’s sister telling her she should make herself look better reminds me of the shorts she’s made about her weight journey. She takes their comments in stride (even the follow-up “you always look like this”) and doesn’t cow to their expectations or commentary. Lovely to see ☺️
ROFL when she said i don't remember anything or doing something productive!!!! That's the feel EVERY parents feel like!
Exactly, and because you can't quantify it, men will say you do nothing all day. But it goes by in a blur and is exhausting even if you can't list all the dozens of tiny tasks.
I say that keeping the tiny human alive and in good health is a HUGE amount of stuff that got done. I'm happy for her for taking this time with her nephew 😊
She did record a video though... She just didn't take credit for it. :)
It’s so weird how i still get surprised about how compassionate german boyfriend is. A man offering to be a stay home dad??????? We shouldn’t be so shocked about this, but we do because for so many men the dream is about being a “father” not a “dad” or “daddy”. You are so great together ❤❤❤
i am shocked by fathers whose only way to connect to their children is to play with them occasionally. if you have a man you does not want to take care of his child then please dont have a child with him. no kid deserves messed up parents.
I think maybe it depends where you come from and what is culturally normal where you live. I am British, living in Germany and my husband was a stay at home dad back in 2001....so really not a new concept at all ha
Yeah, it's nice to see that things really have changed, in that regard. A lot of young men these days want to be very actively involved in their children's life.
My ex wanted to be the stay at home dad ❤️ it didn’t work out between us but he’s amazing and raised my standards
Germans are pretty chill about that, more equalitarian in childrearing and housework...
Don’t feel guilty about not wanting children. I could never see myself with a kid 24 hrs a day. 🤯
Exactly, it's not an obligation! Don't let anyone push you to meet THEIR expactations. I have 4 grown-up children. Two of them don't want to have kids of their own. And that's alright!
Yeah I plan on borrowing any nieces and nephews I eventually might have and I’ll leave it at that
@@jessn.2665 exactly what my son and daughter do. They love their niece to pieces., and leave it at that.
@@judy-angedv7590let me guess: the older ones?
@@Anastasia-xc4bl no actually :-)
I really appreciate you respecting the little one's privacy by covering their face.
Toddlers are like cats. They're more interested in the box and the wrapping, than the expensive gift you bought them.
@UYEN, How do you feel now seeing your mom so kind and patient with the baby? You told us how strict she was when you were little and I had a similar experience. It was both wholesome and painful to see my mom so different with my baby (then I remember her being with me as a little kid). I'm Eastern European, so I identify a lot with your stories.
Ich habe das so ähnlich erlebt- und mein Mann ebenfalls. ( Wir sind beide Deutsche)
Vielleicht war das Verhalten unserer Eltern auf eine etwas andere Art schädlich- aber auf jeden Fall schädlich.
Mit unseren Kindern sind sie liebevoll umgegangen.
Meine Schwiegereltern haben manchmal gesagt ( und häufig durchblicken lassen) dass sie manches im Nachhinein nicht gut finden. Aber sie waren eben Kinder ihrer zeit (gibt es diesen Ausdruck in anderen Sprachen auch?) Und wussten es nicht besser.
Das ist heilsam.
Meine Eltern sind überzeugt, alles richtig gemacht zu haben.
Das tut weh.
Unsere Kinder sind mittlerweile Teenies, keine süßen Kleinkinder mehr. Und jetzt können meine Eltern nicht mehr viel mit ihnen anfangen- meine Schwiegereltern schon.
Für mich kam die Heilung dadurch, dass ich mit meinen Kindern anders umgehe, als mit mir umgegangen wurde.
It's a grandparent "thing" particularly female grandparent, i read there is a biological basis for this. It wasn't like this in my fam, but we're weird
@@dieechtemissmarple In English, we say someone is "a product of their environment" to mean that they are the way they are because of the people around them, the place they come from, and the time period.
@@PatriceChristianAh ja, das bedeutet wohl das Gleiche.
Danke für deine Erklärung!
@wannabetrucker7475 I certainly felt different towards my grandchild than I did with my children. I can't really explain it, but I see it in other grandparents too. It made me understand why my mother treated her grandkids quite differently to tje way she treated me.
Wait, did Uyen just say (at 0:21) "I'm a 29-years-old married woman"? I thought she was just engaged!
Did she say "I'm 29 years married woman"??
I thought so too! 😮😊❤
Yes
Caught that too. But she said she would take us with her on the process. However her being back home makes me wonder....
@@juststoppingby390 Who knows maybe they already registered their marriage. Now preparing for the ceremony. It would be such a good news if they really registered *-*
I heard that, too!
Don't let people preasure you into having kids. It is up to you.
Your nephew is a very well-behaved 18 month old boy. A lot of kids would not have sat still for as long as your nephew did during various parts of filming.
He eats all his food, peed on me and let me touch him after 2 days...is he a cat? 😅 so cute to hear honest thoughts from a woman who hasn't had a baby yet, I don't have kids so this had me laughing.
I love how real you are with this! Children are a LOT of work and emotionally and physically taxing. I’m glad that you’re thinking so thoroughly about everything it takes to have a kid. More people should be like you in that way. I feel like too many people have kids without thinking it through enough and as a result the kid and them suffer a lot.
Being an older mom, my advice to you is have them now. I waited until I was 39 to have my daughter and let’s just say I wish I had her when I was younger because I don’t have the same energy.
Don't feel like you absolutely have to have kids
In my experience there is never time for a mom, even sleep can be difficult. Some parents hardly get any sleep because their babies and toddlers don't sleep. It is a very valid consideration to ask yourself if you want to go through with having your own child. It is exhausting. And with anxiety it's even harder. Anxiety is serious but we can work on ourselves and get out of it. That also takes time which is well invested in my humble opinion. Let me say that I like to watch your videos: they are so much fun, I like the way you look at things and how open you and your bf are towards all the cultural differences. This will help you very much expanding and learning that things are always working out which you already know, I am sure. Best of luck and much success with your business! ;-)
Y
Until the age of 5 its nearly impossible for kids to sit down & stay put for eating, they are physically, developmentally not really able to. So its great to see that grandmas are feeding the kids while carrying, it makes so much sense for their little brains & bodies and helps them grow more independent.
edit: recently learned a parenting hack - when kids dont want to do something (eating, brushing teeth etc), it often helps if "someone else" asks them to. Like make the spoon talk, or a handpuppet out of a sock / washing cloth or any item around you, the items can also talk about being hungry & sleepy and needing energy for playing, which then helps the kids recognise their own needs. Sometimes they can hear better from a spoon than from the parents 😅
I'm surprised to hear that, I've never met a child that didn't eat sitting down. I guess in Vietnam they don't have high chairs for toddlers? They are common in Western countries. Any child I've met has eaten quite happily when sitting in their high chair.
Nonsense. They're just not taught properly.
Non è vero 🤷🏼♀️ dipende da come vengono educati
Every preschool ever would beg to differ. They expect kids to sit at a table to eat because allowing toddlers to run around while they eat is a massive choking hazard.
My son, 12 m/o, just learned how to walk.
Imagine any meal he want to take is like this: Running one roubd through the living room, pick a bite from my hand, walk the next round, rinse, repeat
You're wise to think critically and carefully about it!
Vietnam football club will have a bright future
A baby is very different from. A child of his age
I have 6 kids.
From experience, I will say that the love that you will have for a child that belongs to you (even adopted) cannot be experienced until you have your own.
Your comment is so heartwarming, Sir 🙏
I got exhausted just by reading the title.😂
I never wanted to have children. I enjoy visiting others children, and then leaving.
You’ll be a wonderful and great mother. Parenthood is difficult, but don’t doubt your abilities. 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
A clean cardboard box can entertain a child for days..
Seeing Uyen with a toddler is cute!
And giving some thoughtful reactions.
Hey, she said she's married. Did I miss something important?
You got married? Why did you say Im a 29 y old married woman?
My guy all her last few videos are of her wedding
@ReneeB-mz9cx my dude I dont see the videos
I think that it's just because they've been together for so long and they're getting married so soon that it probably just already feels like they're married
I thought she said that at first, but I think she actually said unmarried
If you get a Baby, you can hire an Au-Pair oder get him a Kita place, which is more affordable. Most working mums say in advance they will go working again after Baby Pause, as soon as they can, but afterwards they'll enjoy staying at home more
I can relate to this upload so much. I'm scared to pop a kid out of my body lol
The concern for a little dumb kid that loves you and needs to learn is overwhelming, it does change you
I think you would make a wonderful mother. You seem to have a very realistic idea of what being a parent will be like. The choice to become a parent or not is very personal and i appreciate your honesty about it.
If it helps, toddlers don't need toddler milk. It's just a profit grab. After 12 months, you can start transitioning from formula to cow's milk. Most nutrients should come from his solid meals. Help your sister save money!
That's what I was thinking, but my youngest just turned 18 so I didn't know if things changed or its a cultural thing. (I'm in the U.S.)
It could also be a milk allergy thing. My kids are half Asian and can't all tolerate cow's milk.
@CampLJNC formulas are usually based on cow's milk though. If there is an allergy, soy milk can be substituted.
Other countries don't always have a large enough (or safely regulated enough) domestic dairy industry. Which would mean buying imported refrigerated milk at a higher cost anyway. Perhaps this is the reason why ...
@@iyswme makes sense in that case
Thank you for not showing his face ☺️
My second child is this age but he has an older sister to play with, so it’s less exhausting for me than it was with just one kid.
You will definitely figure out what is right for you! And I totally understand your perspective! I was so tired caring for my friends’ kids but when I had my own, yes, I was tired (little babies wake up at night) but it felt way different. You have immeasurable love for your own and you set the schedule and mood of the house. We had daily quiet time, naps, walks, etc. which felt peaceful in-between all the running around. It sounds counterintuitive, but the more kids in your house, the easier it is. I have three, and while, that was crazy when they were all little, when they all played and when we had other children over, they all played together. As opposed to only having one, and you are the only source of their entertainment. It took some time, but we also found our village by way of new friends we made at our kids’ schools. It is very helpful, even now that they are all teenagers, for carpools and hanging out at each other‘s house.
No matter what, if you do decide to have kids, just know that you will know your baby best.
Really appreciate reading your thoughtful comment!
When my niece was about 9 months old until she was about 2 years old, I watched her 5 days a week from 7 AM to 6 PM. She was considered to be an easy baby, and she was. She didn't cry much and she listened very well, didn't have a whole lot of tantrums, at least not really bad ones. It was still EXHAUSTING. Every night I would go home feeling so tired, and that's when I realized that being a parent is probably the hardest job on earth, and I still feel that way. Constantly watching them to make sure they don't accidentally kill themselves, potty training (ugh, the potty training), making them food that's healthy and the way they want it and then trying to find alternatives when they don't want to eat the same thing they eat every day, entertaining them, making sure they stay down for nap (I napped when she did, I'm not kidding lol). I didn't think there was any way I could handle having a kid of my own. And that was just for a year and a half on weekdays! I could not fathom how my mother or brother or sister-in-law could do this all day every day. Since then, and since also babysitting her little brother and my best friend's, I'm more confident that I could handle being a parent, but I'm definitely still not ready to become one. The financial stress, mental healthy issues (I also have severe anxiety), the fact that you have to constantly worry about someone hurting your child, not to mention the fact that pregnancy itself and giving birth is terrifying enough, are all just some of the reasons why I'm not ready yet. I'm taking my time until I'm selfless enough to do so and financially able to. And Uyen, you did much better with your nephew than I did with my niece the very first time I babysat her, and she was much younger! So don't be too hard on yourself. When you and German boyfriend are ready, I'm sure you'll both be great parents.
I don't want kids either. It's just so much work, and people regularly underestimate this. Loving your life the way it is, is beautiful too❤
I wouldn’t be able to do so - I am absolutely phobic if it comes to babies. And I don’t intend to change that :) I am very happy for you tho :)
I did not know she was officially married. :24 So I guess they are married, but they are going to have the wedding afterwards. Edit- then why does she still call him her German boyfriend instead of her German husband?
they kept their engagement private for a while so they might just be very used to the term "boyfriend". or theyve been together for so long that theyre practically as good as married and ready to think about kids
Realistically speaking, she won't be able to afford a "nanny" in Germany. Hardly anyone here can, unless you're *really* rich.
Maybe a babysitter for a few hours a week is enough if you want to go out with your partner in the evening.
But it's common to put your child in a daycare center at the age of one or three at the latest.
I don’t know how other people do it, but my kids have been helping me clean the house since they were 3. You just have to show them, guide them, and give them praise when they do a good job.
Train your children when they are toddlers: obedience, respect, politeness.
We had a clean up game
Same, even little toddlers can help! It can be frustrating because it takes longer but then you end up with kids who help out of habit!
I'm blown away when other people are blown away by the fact that my teenagers have chores! They have had chores since they were toddlers, they have just changed over time.
Good job, Uyen. For me, kids are cute up to about 5, then they start having attitude then I lose interest 🤣. I enjoy playing with little kids, but I enjoy the moment I give them back to their parents even more.
At the beginning of this video did you say that you are a 29 year old married woman?
Sign language for baby is a must. My baby is now 24 years old, when I was pregnant with him I heard about sign language for babies and it made so much sense. At that time I think they suggested 9 months to start teaching it but I had to teach myself & husband so I started with him @ 5 months so that by 9 months I would've learned the signs. He learned faster than I did. Within a day or 2 he was signing for milk & more. So we added more signs; please, thank you, change, airplane, bird, shoes, socks, mommy, daddy. If he didn't know a sign he made one up. By the time he started to speak he knew over 100 signs. This made for a baby then toddler that was never frustrated or crying because he could communicate with his hands. Still my son is peaceful and has great communication skills.
I don't know how anyone does it, honestly. I never wanted kids and while I think they are cute and fun to be around for brief periods, I could never imagine myself being responsible for raising a human!
You did great. And to be honest before being a mother I babysat many many times and different children. But it was different with my own children. You know then intimately and they you. You get I to a routine and it's so much easier than looking after someone else's child