The Problem with The Bisexuality Spectrum 💙💜💗
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- Опубликовано: 18 июн 2022
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#bisexual #lgbt #pride 
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saw the title and panicked , don’t do that to me bestie
@@thefinalgirl6907 no bc i was so ready to go off 💀
@@lu-zp2hz agreed-
oh my god same
@@travisb.8265 STOPP NOT HERE
@@travisb.8265 STOPP NOT HERE
sexuality discourse during pride month is so much brain rot, like lets just like who we like no matter what coloured rectangles represent us
Agreed. It's so tiresome, honestly. Like, Pride is supposed to be about celebrating who we are, being proud and remembering what those before us went through for us to get this far. Can people cut the sexuality discourse and just chill? lol
@@ReptilianTeaDrinker for a month dedicated to being us, alot of people are tryna tell people who they are
YESSS LIKE I SAW THIS ONE PERSON WHO WAS LIKE "im neutral abt pride" bro wdym ur neutral its our rights u either like us or u dont
@@b0x625 I think it is offensive because that would be like if someone said they were netrual about black people or women
@@ReptilianTeaDrinker lol try coming onto tumblr then because it's a nightmare on there on the topic of pan. pan shouldn't exist for majority of users (note many do simply try to share the history of bi which i am here for bUT sadly some do try to use that as a way to also well, start unwanted fights within the community and how bi is more "better and isn't a label that has bad history")
it's why i really, REALLY want to share this video or something on tumblr to show that everyone on there is just...acting silly about this. by all means share history but there isn't a need to start fish slapping each other especially on pride month! it's upsetting as someone who is pan if you will, see so many of my mutuals on tumblr reblog about bi posts that mention sometimes negative pan of any kind because i'm afraid what they will think of me when i use pan ya know? we shouldn't be worried about stuff like this imo.
We need to talk about ageism in the LGBT community... seriously. One day we will all be old LGBT's. We need to stop the age-shaming, the youth-worship, the "old = bad" mentality. The sooner, the better.
We owe *everything* to the LGBT people who came before us. They went through unimaginable hardship for us. Many of them didn't make it. But we need to get rid of the idea that once you turn (a certain age) you are done.
@@michaelstergos1113 or like bille said ✨everybody dies,surprise,surprise✨
I read a post somewhere that the reason that older queer people aren't really seen is because a lot of them got killed
If you're gay and made it to your forties that's an achievement tbh
This person speaks of only of the truth, our ancestors walked so we could run
Yeah, I have a friend who lived through the AIDS epidemic, lost his partner even. Younger gays have dismissed him before as being "one of the old gays".
He laid it on them lol, told them it was the "old gays" that made it possible for the younger generation to be more open and flamboyant
As a bi and genderfluid person, I just interpret it as being attracted to both ends of the gender spectrum. It's like the color wheel. It's not like saying you just like red and blue, it's like saying you enjoy both warm and cool colors. It includes the inbetween shades.
thata actually so good
Yeah for me it's like I am drawn to both masculinity and femininity and all the shades in between. I am fascinated by the ways in which both masculinity and femininity can exist and be expressed regardless of the gender identity attached to that expression. That duality is interesting to me.
THIS👏👏👏👏
but would that not be pan? especially if you’re attracted to “inbetween shades”?
@@tioraidh-tux bisexuality feels attraction towards all genders as well
As a bisexual Native American, I applaud you for including the Two Spirit label
Since Indigenous people are ignored in general
But especially when it comes to these discussions
Also I myself am not particularly attracted to gender or sex as much as feminine and masculine qualities (physically, since I don’t believe that personality traits or anything people do are masculine or feminine)
And I must say I’ve always loved the bi pride colors more than any other
Tangent here but that's how I found out Jason Mraz is bi.
😄I’m a bisexual Native American, too! 😊(From the Ottawa tribe!) represent, homie! 🫶🏾☀️We don’t get enough visibility and representation out there and I’m just so glad to see you out here being yourself-we need more of that! 💗💜💙
This interaction in the replies is so wholesome. Keep expressing yourself, I hope that native culture can be represented more :D
Honestly, the best fitting definition I’ve found for my bisexuality is “attraction to my own gender and genders that are not my own”. It feels better to me than others I’ve seen/heard.
omg, i was literally JUST thinking this a literal second before i saw ur comment... i was thinking of writing it down on my own. makes me happy that this is getting spread around more. this seems to be the route that might cause the least discourse tbh
I love that sm omg🫶🏼
Yh that's always been my favourite way if describing it
The definition I knew to be correct was "being attracted to genders like and unlike your own". It makes more sense to me then anything else, really.
Yeah, me too! I say bisexual is attraction to same and different genders, or “genders like and unlike my own.” Which definitely includes gender queer and non binary folks because I myself am a gender queer/non binary womxn.
I have a bi friend (ima a straight ally!!!
NO THATS HAPPENED TO ME SO MANY TIMES AND ITS HORRIBLE
Thank you for being there for her!
thats what happens when (no bad intentions from me) lgbt ppl act like "omg u r queer? so cool queen slaayy!! omg he is straight? thats like.... so boring, lol"
why do cis/het ppl have to be worse than lgbt ppl..... i thought it was about equality 🙁
i thought for a sec you fell in love with the girl not your friend XD
My lesbian friend recommended this to me
as my art teacher likes to say when addressing the class "Good morning, Ladies & Gentleman and everything in between", its very sweet :)
my English teacher once opened up the class with 'okay boys girls and non-binaries' coincidently while lining up i came out to a guy as nonbinary as well as a few others which makes me wonder if she overheard our conversation.
My art teacher always says that her class is a safe space for everyone and she's super chill about using everyone's preffeted pronou s and stuff, what a queen
@@safayamohamed3676 my psychology and science teachers started off the school on the first day by asking for our pronouns, i warned her that i was genderfluid.
There are a few RUclipsrs who open with "guys, gals, and non-binary pals" and I love it.
Got to love people who endorse attention seeking and mental disorders.
It truly feels like the lgbtqia+ community tries to divide everyone into factions like the Hunger Games. Like y’all we have to stick up for each other because there are people that are actual threats to our community! Love y’all but it gets so damn exclusionary within our own space sometimes.
Say it louder!
There are the following I can list from memory quickly
The toxic ones
The ones who make it their personality
The ones that don’t point it out (I prefer being friends with these ones)
The ones that are THOSE people on twitter.
I can’t remember anymore because this took like 2 mins
I know right? And it makes no sense! A huge thing with the community is not not be divided in society and shit but then we divide ourselves
especially recently, like y’all our rights are getting stripped away can we stop
arguing about the minutia of each others preferences or feelings for a second and address the actual shit that’s goin on?!
EXACTLY
thats why I hate transphobic gay/lesbian/bispectrum people speaking, like you are just as bad as the homophobes girly
I also hate biphobia within the community
The homophobic transgender people irritate me as well
All perfect example of fighting the wrong of the war because when one goes down the other falls with you
Someone told me that "Being bi is an apple, and pan is an orange. They're too different to be classified the same way"
And to that I have to say "No. Being bi is an orange, and pan is a clementine. Very incredibly similar, but different."
(Also, omni people typically have a preference when it comes to gender. Not quite as "Gender blind" as pan)
I'm Kai ( I use They/He pronouns and recently Came Out as Genderqueer.)
It's so nice to finally see someone else explain this to people as someone who was outed as Bisexual right before realizing that i was actually Pansexual it's really frustrating having to constantly explain the difference between Bi,Pan,Omni,Poly,Abro, and Queer.
(The term Bisexual just didn't accurately describe my sexuality. Also i just like the colors a bit more.)
Side Note: please ignore the fact that I'm using my mom's account right now I still don't have my own outside of my school one which has my deadname on it.
For context I was in Middle School when I was Outed as Bi and in 11th Grade when I Came Out as Genderqueer and had graduated High School a little
(A lot actually to be honest.) over a few months ago.
You explain bi and pan definitions perfectly. Idek why ppl believe being bi or pan is the same. It's really not.
@@Itsangie4now Yeah. Like, my best friend and I feel the same way about people, but she likes the more loose definition of bi for herself, and I like the (for lack of a better word) "rigidness" of pan for myself. It's all about how the person themself wants to label themselves.
@@carmenmercedes9903 Exactly. Labels are a way to find out what's suitable for you. For example. My ex female friend knew she was bi bc she's comfortable being in a relationship with a boy and a girl at the same time. Her attraction for men and women are at the same level as well.
As a bisexual person, i mostly define it as an attraction to people both within the “gender binary” and people outside of it. This was an amazing video!
Love that you include xenogenders :D
Don’t mind me, just gonna steal that definition 👀
Makes no sense lmao
To me my pansexuality means that gender doesn't play a part in my attraction at all. I just want to exist and be myself and like who ever I like in peace haha. Great video Frederic
Agreed
Yeahhh
That's exactly how I feel.
Yup.
Exactly!!!
Talking about bisexuality, until today i still find people who pull a "pick a side" when you stated you like both. It's pretty suffocating for me, because at some point i struggle with never ending internalized bi-phobia.
You ever heard that song?
@@ousmanedieng1382 I have xd
same happened to me :/ i'm a bisexual woman and when i dated a man suddenly i was no longer "allowed" to be bisexual.. it was so invalidating. 😟
I remember meeting a gay guy who said it didnt exist. I later unfriend them and disappeared.
true true true!!!
As a bi person, I’ve never understood the “gold star bisexual you can only date 2 genders” thing. To me, bi has always meant both sides of the binary and everything in between. It irks me when people tell me I’m pan because I care more about partners’ personality than gender identity, or that I’m any less gay because I’m in a relationship with the opposite sex
Fully agree with this. I've always seen it as a spectrum with 2 extremes (or maybe 2 "exact" details?) and more importantly, I do have a preference depending on the person I'm interested in. My taste in men, women, and everything in between is so different, and I can assure it is not just for the personality ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) . Hell, my preferred traits in short men vs tall men is different.
It really is just let us be the alphabet mafia. I'm just trying to be happy with myself, not with you.
regarding sexuality, a "gold star" _anything_ is ridiculous. it just invalidates others for not realising their sexuality earlier, etc.
Wait that's a thing? 😳 I've heard of gold star lesbians before (and that is problematic af) but never of goldstar bisexuals... we really are a f*ed up community, aren't we?
I've never even heard of gold star bisexual.
Honestly I’m pretty sure the only reason my parents didn’t freak about me being bi is because I haven’t actually been in same sex relationship yet
here's my "finding out my sexuality" story:
before I started thinking about being asexual, I've identified as a straight ally. (as a child, I've been presented with only gay, les, bi and other stuff, but never ace or aro.)
once I found out about asexuality, I started to think about LGBTQ things. I started talking with my friend on and on about figuring out if i’m asexual. I kept saying stuff such as "well, i’m only attracted romantically to X crush.." and "I don’t wanna f* people, but idk". eventually I put myself off as questioning for a LONG time.
I was just chilling out, when suddenly jaiden animations posted a new video. it was about her being aroace. this intrigued me, so i started researching. eventually I found out that, yes, *i’m ace.*
but, I wasn't aroace. I started thinking, and I eventually found panromantic. still, I didn't really fit into the "attracted to anyone *regardless* of gender". I’m not genderblind.
and then.. omni.
omniromantic just kinda.. fit.
thanks for reading my omniromantic asexual story! sorry if this is kinda boring but might as well share it to the big wide world of the internet.
:0000 I’m ace and omniromantic too! That’s such a cool story, I’m glad you learned to find and accept yourself 😊
I use bi because for me it means I can be attracted to two or more genders. I can see myself being attracted to people of my gender and other genders. The label is one that feels correct, and that’s the point of labels in my opinion. To help not to hinder. 💖💜💙
i feel the same way :))
Same
I've dated men and women in my life but ended up marrying a man. I keep being told by non bi/poly/pan sexuals that I'm straight now. Can we please talk about this? It's so frustrating to hear from people within the LGBTQ+ community that I have to be either a lesbian or straight depending on who I date...when those two labels contradicts each other. It's hard enough trying to explain this to straight people.
Agreed. People in and out of the queer community are like this and it should stop
@@andiflores4638 Yeah. And the logic doesn't make sense. If our sexuality is based on who we date, then people are not straight gay or lesbian until they date someone. It's ridiculous. Bisexuals are bisexual no matter who they date
@@thesealky6445 yes exactly!
@@thesealky6445 agreed when i one of my crushes i liked him he immediately thought i was gay which even tho i am now i kinda was pissed abt bc i wasnt always and he kinda just presumed it and i ended up clearing that mess up.
Your relationship is labeled straight - people are confused and ignorant. Things get to complex for them to follow.
It isn't about you, it is about the label of the relationship type.
LGBTI+ community might be a little different from the LGBTQ+ community?
And the LGBTI+ grew up in heteronormative culture - we had to go out of our ways to learn about LGBTI+ sub-cultures.
We were just as badly given sexual educations as the heterosexuals have been given.
Why I have given sexual educations in my country, after I came out. I had to study LGBTI+ first to understand what I was trying to explain to others. A thing not that prevalent now days with the internet doing this stuff. (Some are better than others, but controversy gets more engagements) George Santos, Milo Yiannopoulos, just because you are LGBTI+ you are not an ally automatically.
The trouble with identifying as bi as a hyper feminine woman is that it’s always seen as an identity you take on for attention. It often feels like it’s seen as shallower, with more bad stereotypes attached. So as a teenager I chose to identify with pan, since the way the label was talked about at the time suggested gender blindness and even non-promiscuity (not sure why, but on tumblr back then, Pan was seen as the “I don’t fall in love with looks, I fall in love with the soul” label). As an adult I’ve gone back to identifying as bi. I feel like the label fits me better and I’ve grown to understand that it’s not something to be ashamed of. Though I also recognize pansexuality as something that means more than what I learned through vague tumblr posts and I respect it as well.
Bi women get dismissed as straight because that's how men view us and bi men get dismissed as gay because that's how men view them. It's the patriarchal society that we live in. But anyway happy pride to you from a femme bi to another! 💖💜💙
hi from a fellow femme bi woman!
Bisexuals receive the most hate within the LGBT+ community. Gay men and Lesbians treat Bisexuals like trash.
also hello from a biromantic (asexual) girly. i knew very early in life that i like all people no matter what gender and identified pretty quickly with the term bisexual (i only realized recently that i‘m ace lol). i never had a problem being bi it kinda always felt right. but i recognized recently how much i struggled as a teenie with the sexualization/fetishization of it. for example my first relationship was with a girl and we got constantly "requested" for threesomes and stuff like that. mostly even from random men in their forties on the street. we both were around *15* at that time. it felt like for these people we were just a sex fantasy, just pretty probs who hold hands to make some randys horny. and not a young couple who tries to enjoy their first relationship. it was just…dehumanizing.
Im a teenager and i am a closeted bisexual, Im a cis woman and I’m so fricking scared to come out and just be called “confused” even though I prefer woman
I originally thought I was pan for quite a while but then I learnt about Omni and a lot of the definitions of pan that I personally have seen have said that pan a lot of the times is when the person is “gender blind” and Omni is is when you sometimes have a preference and aren’t “gender blind.” This has helped me a lot actually made me realize that I’m in fact Omni with a preference for non-men! :)
Sorry if I butchered any definitions I’m definitely not the greatest at writing the right words
ME TOOO
@Patata how do you tell someone’s trans?? I’m just confused not trying to be abrasive here.
Yeah, I also discovered omni that way
Best way I explain it, is pan is hearts over parts, omni is hearts but you prefer some parts
Edit: Or if the person doesn't understand what I mean I go into the slightly longer thing of pan = all genders. omni = all but you prefer one/some
@@Viewer962 Pretty much just if they tell you. It's really just a preference for trans people that prefer to date other trans people for reasons like safety or even just because they have a shared experience
@@therealslimshitty5186 okay makes sense kind of like solidarity in a more deeper sense. I hate to use this term because it is obviously more nuanced but it seems like it’s similar to trauma bonding in a way?
Honestly I am jealous of how simple the labels gay and lesbian are. In that sense, I wish that when I personally was figuring out my sexuality, there was only one label being bi/pan/etc because it made me feel more confused and weird and inaccessible to be attracted to all genders. I totally agree with everything you're saying and of course I'm happy that the different labels are helpful for others and respect the history of them... But... Personally, that caused me to be like "aaaaa no labels I'm just queer," instead of accepting that I am attracted to all genders and being able to call it something simple.
my own problem w/ this whole discussion is when people try to force others into labels. if you're bi, but you define bi the way someone would define omni or pan, you're bi, period. whenever someone else is doing isn't anyone else's business.
This comment generally helped cause this is my fear with being bi cause for some or most people my definition of bi could also be pan or Omni. I just like the label bisexual more because I feel I identify with it more.
Exactly!!! I literally *just* saw a comment where someone told another person that they were omni and not bi, and i am saying this as someone who is also omni! If someone says that they’re bi, then they’re bi.
YES! I've had so many people try to discredit my bisexuality because of how fluidly I define it. For me, I consider myself attracted to anyone who registers somewhere between masc and femme spectrum. It's really important to me that people be able to define the label for themselves, because as a genderfluid woman, I understand how defining one's sexual identity maybe deeply influenced by their gender/ethnic/religious identities!
Exactly!!
I've had SO MANY people tell me "You're not bi and claiming you're bi when you're actually omnisexual is bi erasure"
I can think of half a dozen instances off the top of my head. It's honestly disgusting.
I identify as bisexual because I used to have a pansexual friend who told me she didn't care about genders. While I know I'm not straight, genders still play a role in my attraction to someone so I identify as bisexual. That's just my definition of it. Also the bi flag is pretty 💙💜💗
(Edit: Everyone please stop arguing under this thread. Whatever has been said, there is a point where fighting any more becomes pointless.)
Sorry I just thought that the bi flag was pink, purple, and blue not the other way around correct me if I’m wrong!!
@@Cringey_Bitch You can flip it the other way around too :)
@@Cringey_Bitch hah it’s kind of a joke that bi’s never know the order of the flag, i also thought pink was on top but idk (i’m not bi though)
@@Cringey_Bitch I just checked and you're right. I somehow always forget the order
@@Cringey_Bitch Yeah it is ur right! People are just using the heart emojis with the colors to just to show the flag ig x)
As a trans person I feel really uncomfortable with this. Some times pan people act like they’re the wokest for being able to tolerate me, when it just makes me feel othered. Bi people have always treated us the same, there will be bi transphobes but it’s not part of the label. Most bi people date everyone in the gender spectrum and outside of it (binaries and non-binaries), and not make a point out of dating us.
I used to identify as pan because I thought I was completely gender blind, but as I got older I realized I do have preferences. It's hard to pin down my exact sexuality and I don't find the specific label too important. Saying I'm bi gets the point across that I'm open to dating pretty much any gender (though I tend to have a preference for feminine presenting people). Most people I talk to who are queer seem to have this definition. If I need to clarify further, I will, but I try to avoid microlabels when possible.
However, I have no problem with other people using the newer labels. If it helps them figure out who they are and communicate it to others, that's great.
Oh it’s the same for me except I am bi with a preference for masculine presenting people but I still very much like feminine presenting people it’s just I find masculinity way more attractive than femininity.
Like if I had a ratio it would be 60/40 but I don’t because I personally find ratios restricting. I sometimes feel like I should identify with pansexual since I like everyone. But honestly I think bi and pan are both multi sexual and u should identify with whatever one makes you feel comfortable. Like I personally like bisexual because I have a preference for masculinity and I like the colors way more lmao
I hope everyone is having a SAFE pride month. If you can't come out it's okay. I was privileged to have some of my family not care/be supportive, but if you are not lucky enough to have that I hope your friends are okay with it... Or at least that you have some sort of support system. If you don't, remember that eventually you will. I promise. I love you, and take care.
I never knew i needed this. Thank you. ♥️
My parents aren't homophobic, I just didn't come out yet because I don't feel ready. I don't feel like I'm ready ro reaffirm to my parents that I'm gay. I doesn't have a logical explanation...
@@mordekaihenry7267 yes!!! This is such a good place to find other queer people
@@laraalvarezzz2 oh yeah that's alright don't come out until you're ready pls do not feel forced to. Even if you can come out it may still cause anxiety
I really needed that thank you so much and I hope you’re having a safe pride month as well
So I’m 30 years old. And honestly growing up i was presented the strict 3 options of straight, gay/lesbian, and bisexual. Even bisexual was barely an option and often mocked as the choice for gays that didn’t want to be labeled as gay. Regardless of that crap I chose bisexual because it felt right for me. And now that I’m presented with more options, I’m happy just sticking with bi. It just feels right for me and I’m keeping it. I think it’s as simple as that. There’s no need to argue and nitpick. Just let people love who they love.
I completely relate and I’m glad you brought this up! I too am an “elder” in the LGBTQIA+ community (aka over 30). Growing up pansexuality didn’t even exist as a label. Honestly I think there is sadly an element of ageism to the whole bi/pan debate that not enough people acknowledge. There are people who want to tell us that bi doesn’t exist and that if you really are attracted to all genders you’d just change your label to pan. But I don’t identify with pan because that wasn’t an option when I was first exploring my sexuality. But sexuality labels are very personal and people get emotionally attached to the label they’ve been identifying with for most of their lives. I feel like those people who are telling bi people to abandon their bi label are just secretly biphobic…
@@loverrlee not that secretly, I'd say...
everytime i've told some1 i'm not straight every1 keeps asking if i'm bi or gay as if there isnt any other options and the irony is i'm often either gay, bi or pan depending on when i'm being asked.
What about the gay for pay? And the coupling: So gay was a choice? Adding conversion back into the topic also. People understood less 20-30 years ago. Especially in common knowledge. Gays and the struggles of coming out in the heteronormative cultures are part of this, don't forget that. Not acknowledging bisexuality by bisexuals in hetero settings was also very normal. Women could play bi, also without being it. For men society had different standards. Also with reasoning. Lesbianism was a thing that couldn't exist according to society back in the days. SEX needed a Penis, no penis no sex.
Bisexuals having sex with gays, but then acting stupid when sexuality was questioned. Why gays avoided relationships with bi's but not hook ups. A lot of gay's used the bi-label to come out. Because less was common knowledge, and they didn't know if they were, and wanted a back-door out to the "hetero" world if they would be mistaken.
All this is a little bit more complex.
I came out and I was kicked out, this is like almost 20 years ago.
Let me enlighten - same sex marriage is legal for 21 years where I grew up.
Still I felt like I was the only gay person in the world, I didn't know any, only a few from media - the magic viewing box.
During my coming out/experimenting - I was introduced to a world hidden, and it was very clear I wasn't the only one.
Life is more complex in the details, than with a general overview.
I am a homosexual in the Kinsey scale 5. Because I have experience with the opposite gender despite being homosexual, but preferring men, I am not really sexually attracted to women. I identify with this with reasoning, just why you do with bi, presumably.
As I grew up I was forced to perceive myself as heterosexual, heteronormative cultures. I came out as bisexual, while "experimenting" - fearing if I came out as gay - but then found it not to be so, there wouldn't be a way back to the heteronormative world.
I knew coming out would get me shunned. I knew I was giving up my life as I knew it.
Also I am 13 years older than you, I am Dutch, I have given sexual education so I had a study on these topics, sexology topics. I am not just a random LGBTI+ person. We had success as a movement in the Netherlands - same sex marriage for 21 years legal now.
This is why I use bi terminologies in most cases, considering my ESL country and that my gen x parents are way more perceptive on the bi concept because they grew up with celebrities stating bisexuality. I get that languages develop new words every time but at the cost of alienating those not necessarily can keep up as fast.
The Algorithm threw your video in my feed, and I'm so glad it did. This was a delight to watch, and as an Old Bi, perhaps these conversations should get old, but as long as I'm not in it trying to defend myself, I love all the talk.
FWIW, I'm in my early 40s and came out/realized I was queer in college (late 90s). I suppose Pan may have been around in some circles at that time, but I hadn't heard of it (and wouldn't until ~2005 or so) and so bi it was. All I knew was that I wasn't attracted to people based on their gender or sex organs (I later realized I'm also a bit Demi, so I feel like that probably ties in there some too, especially in terms of me not figuring out who I was attracted to for a long time). For me, it's always meant attraction to my own and other genders. For me, that means all of them. For others, it may not.
There was so much confusion from the Straights, and so much bitterness and being shunned by the Lesbians (as I'm AFAB), and it was definitely rough. I'm sure that the defensiveness that was born out of that is a big part of why I cling to the label so strongly, even though pan would be more ~accurate~ I guess. Mostly though I just use queer anymore. It's easier, and it encompasses all the the things I am, being bi and some sort of Not Cis. I've definitely gotten comments about it being transphobic, though - though oddly not from any of my trans friends, that I can remember.
I've got a kiddo now who's queer themselves and in middle school, and it's been a delight seeing how much has changed in the last 30 years since I was their age. They're in the GSA at school, and kids are learning about and experimenting with gender and attraction and terminology, and I just love that they're so open, and able to do such a thing. Not that the world is perfect, but man. It's so much better.
I can’t tell you how many times I’m utterly annoyed and feel even more excluded when I hear mostly cisgender people say the classic line of, “I like everyone! Men, women, trans men, trans women, etc”. You hit it right on the nail of that further ostracizing groups of people. Unfortunately, I’ve had experiences like that with predominately cisgender pansexual people. The idea that you care about someone's personality over presentation? Completely fine. But when you’re talking to transgender/nonbinary people about your attraction to them and belt out that line further subcategorizing trans people into their own category? It’s not quite the inclusive move you intended it to be.
I'm really glad that you brought up the aspect of people defining their sexuality, what it personally means to them and how that realistically plays out in social situations because it is overlooked and often just grouped together as one cohesive thing. In my experience, I’ve had cis gay men tell me straight up they weren't attracted to me because I’m a trans man and conversely, fetishized from cis gay men because I’m a trans man. I’ve had cis bisexual people tell me their definition of bisexuality is only of women and men that doesn’t include trans and nonbinary people and cis bisexual people mention their attraction to more than one gender. This is a gradient of self defining language conjunctive with social behavior that I as a trans person am fairly aware of and deal with on a daily basis.
It literally could be SO simple, but we as humans just cannot accept simple things
Yeah, I don't see the argument about having more labels making it easier...when the difference between half of them appears to be just semantics or lack of understanding of the historical connotations already existing terms have. If anything I think it makes it harder for young people. But people will do what they are gonna do. Whatever makes them happy.
i think a big reason why there are so many labels is because of the "not fitting in boxes" nature of humans. people create boxes for themselves, and sometimes other people identify with that box. it's all about what makes people comfortable, happy, and have found a community they fit in. and this it's coming from someone who changed labels a million times before (so far) settling for 'queer'. that's my box, it's not everybody's. so whether someone is bi, pan, poly, omni, queer, fluid, or whatever, as long as they're comfortable and happy, so am i
If this was a video essay about how we need a regular pink heart emoji, I wouldn't be mad
NO FR
I don’t care about having an emoji for 100+ types of food, just give me my damn pink heart!!!
@@rulerzreachf4n34 omg even hunter agrees
💘💖💝💗💓💞💕 LIKE JUST GIVE US THE PLAIN BASIC PINK HEART COME ONNNNN
I identified with bisexuality when i was really young and i've evolved with it. Bisexuality, to me, meant "i like the gender binary" 'cause that was all i knew. But as time passed, i realized there was more than two genders, i also acknowledged that gender doesn´t play a big role when it comes to my attraction to others. Now, i define MY bisexuality as liking people regardless of gender, i don't care about gender, i care about who you are. That's how i feel the most comfortable. I used to have arguments with people all the time, but now i understand that everyone has their own journey and labels mean something different to all of us.
what I'm taking away from this video is just: labels are very complicated and people are entitled to whatever label they want to (or don't want to) put on themselves so just be respectful of people's identities and try to use what they are comfortable with. And on the other side of it, try not to get defensive immediately if someone gets it wrong as long as they don't have ill intentions and allow them to learn.
Thank you!! This was really informative and honestly eye opening and as a straight ally im really glad I watched this video and helped me learn more about the nuances of different terms and identities!
yey you're being a great ally!
Honestly, I love the term bisexual because of the political and historical aspects it has attached to it.
I have no problem with the whole MOGAI classification, I am happy people find microlabels that accurately represent their feelings about sexuality and gender identity.
I also love umbrella labels that reminds us we have some shared experiences and we need to fight together to have that recognized.
All of this 💜
@@Lola_Nico There's also intersex people. Also "I won’t support pansexual as all of them believe there’s more than 2 genders and that males should be in female sports"... just say you're transphobic and move on
@@Lola_Nico It is okay for you to be bisexual but it is not okay to be rude about other people's labels. Just cause it is not your label doesn't mean it is not valid.
Also there are more than one sex have you seriously never heard of intersex. And nonbinary people are valid as well stop being an asshole.
I am very disappointed in you. As a community we should be supporting each other not dragging others down.
@@Lola_Nico Pansexuality is the attraction to people regardless of gender, meaning your attraction to people is because of their personality, looks, way of thinking, and other things that make up a person that don't include gender. Bisexuality is the attraction to all genders. Male, female, trans men, trans women, non-binary, and everyone in between. They both overlap a little bit but the distinction matters to people because there is a difference. I am someone who used to identify as bisexual before I realized I was pansexual because I did research and found myself. Maybe you should do the same before speaking on how anyone else identifies when it's not your business. We have other things to worry about than what labels make someone feel comfortable. There are LGBTQ+ people being murdered to this day, and you're worried about whether someone identifies as bi or pan. It's none of your business and it doesn't harm you.
@@Lola_Nico my god are you transphobic. Gender and sex are two different things and gender itself has been around for hundreds of years. Bisexual means your attracted to all genders not sexes- plus theres more than 2 sexes!
This whole stereotype that pansexual people are transphobic because they consider trans people as "another gender" needs to stop. We already say that trans men are men and trans women are women.
This also proves that you don't see trans people as their preferred gender because you said "that males should be in female sports". When trans people transition and are on the medications that the doctors prescribed them to for years- they literally become a man/woman. There are tons of research on this. Why do you think in sports they require their athletes to be on Testosterone or Estrogen for years before they could ever compete? Because their body literally changes.
I personally identify as bisexual, and I do enjoy logic so the ”bi” prefix does mean two in my definition of bisexuality. To me bisexual means two different types of attraction: attraction to my own gender and attraction to other genders.
i absolutely love your definition 💕
Same here. It's bi/both my own gender and not my gender. That's just me though. That and the gender of a person definitely does inform my attraction to them. Most pan people I know define it as "not seeing" or "not caring" about theor partners gender.
I heard it defined this way a lot when I identified as bi, and that's actually what made me comfortable with it for so long, but in the end, the pan "gender, what's that?" approach resonated with me more, so I switched.
@@mortaki6590 i totally feel that for myself as well!
That… is a great way to define it!! Imma take that for myself 💖
I’ve identified as bi, pan, queer, and omni at different points in my life and none of them ever really felt like they described me. I could never understand why those labels felt wrong for me until I realized that I’m actually polysexual. My heart belongs to genderqueer people and women, which was actually something confusing for me to come to terms with. Not the attraction to enby people and women part of it all, but the lack of attraction to men. But once I realized it, everything just made sense 💗💚💙
Edit: I think the fact that I’m agenderflux and the exploration of my gender also was a factor in the discovery of my sexual orientation
I have been 5 years out of an environment that was unstable, hostile, and reeked of systemic oppression. I come from a Native American Reservation, and before the church burned down my close family was very catholic. I'm biracial, my mother's side being white and rich and my fathers being dark and poor. They were always at each others throats. I refuse to go to anymore family gatherings beside my immediate family because everything has always felt uneasy and unsafe for me. I had an abusive father who I figured out quickly was taking generational tauma out on me. He hit me, my siblings, and my mother. Despite all of that I don't hate him. Sometimes I question weather or not I should.
For my entire life anything considered "feminine" was considered "lesser", meanwhile I have a TERF aunt who took over the house with mental and emotional abuse when my dad died of his third heart attack when I was 14. She would preach to me about how men needed to "do the work" while screaming at us about anything that displeased her, and breaking up with her husband 1 day after their wedding night only to get back together again 1 week later.
My entire life I've struggled with various viewpoints and what I should consider "right" and "wrong" what I should be and what I'm expected to do.
It was absolute Hell.
At this point I don't even want a gender. If I didn't have a sex either that would be great. And Pansexual has always felt right to me.
When I learned about omnisexuality, everything just clicked, I don't really care about your label, as long as you're happy, free, and feel comfortable :) I identify as omni, that's great! If you indentify as bi, pan, omni, poly, gay, lesbian (etc) that's great too! You don't even really need to have a label, I really think that people should just let other people be happy
Hello to a fellow omnisexual!
@@LumaEclipse hi :)
I like using labels because it makes it easier to explain, but the label I use is constantly shifting. Which leads some people to believe I'm faking it. "Didn't you say you were pan yesterday? Now you omni? You also said you were lesbian last week?"
IDK *WILLIAM* I REALLY DON'T CARE, IT'S JUST WHATEVER YOU WILL RESPOND BEST TO AND WHAT I'LL NEED TO EXPLAIN LEAST, OAKY?????? /J
Hello fellow omnisexual 🌸🌺🌑🌎🦋
@@Abby-xm9hd I know your not talking to me but Hello! =]🌸💓⬛💙💠 (I tried to recreate the flag DON'T JUDGE ME 😭)
I think it’s odd that bisexual has had such a reputation for being transphobic when the bisexuals and trans ppl of the 70s campaigned together to be added to the then only GL acronym. We’ve been working together from the start!
I think part of the confusion comes from the definition often being tighter when people claim bi as their specific label rather than an umbrella term. As a specific label, bi generally requires being attracted to your own gender/one that makes you pass as straight if you pursue it. The "bi" there is "own and not." As an umbrella term, it's attraction to more than one gender.
Poly = more than 1, doesn't have the "own" requirement of bi as a specific label
Pan = all, regardless of gender
Omni = all, each gender is attractive because of what makes it unique
Some of these are more likely to have preferences than others.
Edit- Helpful tip to those struggling to label their sexuality (and who want a label): You can have different labels for different types of attraction. It's possible to fall under the bi umbrella while also being on the asexual spectrum. I'm demisexual panromantic.
Edit 2- What words did we know at 12-16? I was 12 in 2000. Not much! People were debating whether or not non-members of the LGBTQ community (the only letters you saw then) were allowed to say/include/acknowledge Q because of what it stands for. In 2002 at 14 I was shocked to find that my high school principal was an out lesbian and that the librarian was hosting an LGBTQ Alliance lunch group. It was a different world.
The timing of this video coming out is astonishing. I myself have been breaking my brain trying to figure all this stuff out for the last couple of weeks. Thank you for making a video like this.
LOL we aren't ALL young here! I'm 53 & I LOVE yr content!
I don't ever want to stop keeping my heart and mind open to everyone & all possibilities & watching you young ones helps us old ppl do that.
Both my old man & I are bi & have been pretty much our whole lives. We believe trans rights are human rights & love the enbies in our community, more inclusion, more love, more understanding, more intersectionality & more empathy.
Also: yr bi look is EVERYTHING! ADORABLE!!
🌈💚🌈
When a 53 year old is less boomerish than 20 year olds😭💗
@@whoopdi
lol! TY!
We are GenX & old gothweenie/punks so definitely no Boomer values here💚
@G҉A҉C҉H҉A҉ A҉L҉E҉X҉ lol! I wish I was a boomer and had their advantages I could do positive things with but sadly, I'm GenX & did not think I would even live to 21 so I made no plans with my life & am barely staying above water in every way - mentally, financially, it's just WILD to still be here - esp in this fucking dystopian nightmare of a country😿
I'm so sorry for u kids having to deal with the wreck we've made of everything. 💔
@G҉A҉C҉H҉A҉ A҉L҉E҉X҉ so did yr sweet words, honey.
Take care of yrself💜🧡💛🖤🤍💚❤️💙💕
I hope you know that everyone in the queer community is above grateful for older members like you and your father, because we know that as hard as things are for us now, they were so much harder before, and you guys were the ones to fight to improve our lot (at least in the more progressive places). Thank you for your bravery and strength! :)
The bottom line is to respect how people in the LGBT+ community choose to label or not label themselves. They’ve thought about their identity a lot more than you have.
As a bisexual I get really tired of people claiming bisexual is transphobic or enby-phobic or exclusionary or that pan/omni/poly people are biphobic. Can’t we all just get along 😂. Love all my peeps under the mspec umbrella 💜
Isn’t trans just not feeling the gender you were born as?
@@LowYummy Pretty close. Being trans means your gender identity differs from the gender you were assigned at birth.
I’m so happy that someone has made a video discussing the bisexuality spectrum! As someone who at one point was confused about what to label myself (and is still sort of figuring it out) and what the difference between the labels are, and who is still learning, this was such a great video. When someone asks me about the bi spectrum, I can now explain it confidently thanks to you! Your makeup is amazing by the way! ❤
You're so good with color! The way you added yellow letters but made them fit into the video by adding a border in the same color as your jumper, underappreciated skills right there.
I remember when I was called transphobic for saying I was bisexual in the comments of some bi post on Instagram and I just sat there confused cause I never said anything about the trans community and then my friend told me about the whole belief that bisexuals are transphobic or whatever like some are yes but that doesn't mean everyone is- everyone has their share of ____phobic and racist people in their community 😭
Honestly i agree with you not all bisexuals are transphobic… well i use to be atleast but then I started watching more videos and researching more about trans peoples stuggles… and honestly now I wouldn’t mind being with a trans person idk if trans is a bad term or not 🤷♀️🤷🤷♂️
@@TheNenDen Almost all bisexuals are not transphobic lmao. Yeah, sure, there's a few. There's also transphobic gay people, lesbian people, asexual people, etc etc. Researching about trans struggles shouldn't determine whether or not you're transphobic either... those who are trans are no different than those who are cis other than the fact that they identify as a different gender than the one they were assigned to at birth. Good for you for researching the history of trans people, though! It's really nice to see people who are interested in the struggle that non-cis people go through! I'm a genderqueer bisexual person, but I get called transphobic a lot because I have only dated cis men and women. If I ended up meeting someone who had a personality that I was interested in and they happened to be trans, then of course I would be with them! It's just a whole big mess that people fight about for no reason.
like wtf being bi have anything to do with trans just bcuz we stated our preference as men and women you can't just accused us of refusing to acknowledge the existence of trans people left and right, it's just that That 2 are the ones and only our own preferences and likings, that's it, smfh
That's just straight up inductive reasoning
This is why I human sexuality studies, is my shit!
Sexuality is a spectrum and I agree with everything, ESPESH the over-policing when it comes to SPEECH AND TERMS! I identify as bi/pan/queer/demi/solo-poly and a filipinhoe. The last one is what I truly identify.
and i'm mexicanhoe (a) 😫‼️
@@zuhavcr im stealing this
what does solo-poly mean?
@@magicalcatbean solo-poly(amory) is when an individual isn't committed (each person has their own boundaries and rules, but this is a simplified term) to ONE specific person. commitment CAN be there, RESPECT should ALWAYS be intact, or else it's not really polyamory. i am happy to answer further questions. :)
I consider myself to be aroace, but when I first learnt that I didn't have to be straight I thought I was bisexual/pansexual because I didn't understand the differences between different types of attraction and I had assumed that the aesthetic attraction I felt towards boys was having crushes on them when I learnt about bisexuality I just assumed that because I felt the same towards people who weren't boys I was bi/pan. Now that I know that asexual and aromantic are things I realise that while I did feel the same towards people of all genders that feeling was different to what people meant when they talked about being attracted to someone. I was about 13 when I learned what bisexual was and I had always been told that even if I didn't really have many crushes I would find someone when I was older and I felt like that mysterious person I would meet when I was older could be any gender so I assumed I was bi/pan and that I would feel like I really wanted to be with someone when I grew up. Now I'm almost 17 and I know what aroace is I identify quite strongly with that. While my aroace identity has more nuance to it than just asexual and aromantic I feel that my gender (agender) and sexuality are quite unimportant as part of who I am as a person than my interests and personality, which is likely partially because all of those areas of identity are defined by their abscence and defining myself by things I do not possess seems strange to me, it would be like saying that a large part of my identity is that I don't like football. Maybe in the future I will feel that my queer identity is a more significant portion of myself because currently other things in my life make me uncomfortable being defined my percieved deficits (I'm getting assessed for autism and most of the criteria are about social and developmental deficits, which makes me even less comfortable with defining myself through other things that can be considered to be a lack of something).
Reading your story felt like reading my own. Being straight felt like the default so I thought that’s what I was until I realized I feel equally about all people. That is until I realized that equality was in reality just nothing towards everyone and that’s when I discovered I was aroace
To me it feels like ace or aroace people don't necessarily face the discrimination and phobia other queer/lgbtq+ people face, but the journey towards realizing oneself is ace/aroace is such a difficult one. It took me until I was 21 to figure out that I am not pan but on the a_sexual spectrum (demisexual, actually). I was surrounded by young people who felt sexual attraction that I just didn't know. They talked about their attraction to people in ways that I couldn't identify with, I even was repelled by the idea of having intercourse with anyone, regardless of their gender, and it was so difficult for me to accept that, I just kept on wondering what might be wrong with me. How could I have a relationship if I feel like this?
And discovering a_sexuality was just like all the pressure was finally gone. It was the discovery that there is nothing wrong, that people like me exist and that sexual attraction doesn't determine which relationships you can have or if you can have them.
The difficult part about discovering yourself as on the a_sexual spectrum or aroace is that it's difficult to unterstand a discussion about sexual attraction if you've never felt it. And especially the lines between romantic attraction and sexual attraction seem blurry to me. If you don't feel sexual attraction it is easy to think the romantic attraction you might feel is sexual attraction.
Therefore this is a very inwards, self-discovering journey with which people hardly can help you and that depends a lot on how you feel and how you define things.
@@rzuue that mostly depends on your environment. Corrective rape is fairly common in the Ace experience. I've personaly been recommend to be treated with hormones to "solve" my illness, ect...
Asexuality has only been taken out of the DSM for 10 years, it's not that long ago.
@@celia1888 I didn’t know about corrective rape, that sounds horrifying
@@rzuue it's very very common, even for AMAB ace/aro people... It's not like it doesn't happen to the whole queer community, but people have more understanding and have community to turn to if they are lucky enough to have it... Whereas ace/aro folks are excluded in queer spaces and communities by and large and rarely even know they're ace until late in life... If ever. That doesn't stop them from being targeted, the moment they show traits of who they are, that's where the correctives come out of the woodwork. Especially for those who haven't figured themselves out yet, it's like a siren for these bastards.
you make excellent points! This dialogue definitely needs to be had. ur skin is glowingggg btw
When my friend came out as nonbinary. It took me so long to say they/them because we have been friends since childhood. And they never scolded me for saying she or her. They knew I was practicing and when I started getting their terms right. They were so happy.
ahh same!! i had my friend come out as trans that wants to use he/him pronouns, and it took me a while to have my brain drill that fact since we were friends since middle school. He smiled so much when i was able to use the right pronouns without messing up :)) he a happy lil man
Same with my trans friend!!!! I constantly called them he/him at the start because its just something I assumed and was wired into my head, then they told me they were intersex and transitioning ItF so they told me to use she/her pronouns instead. I still mess up sometimes because her voice is still fairly masculine but they never yell at me like all my other friends did.
Note: I never mean to assume peoples genders and I’ve been trying to refer to everyone I meet with they/them pronouns in case they don’t identify with what I think their gender is.
I am genderfluid but mostly use he/him, so when i came out to my childhood best friend she always apologized cause she needed time to adjust and not mess up. I was already so happy that she tried, and i don't really care if she messes up accidentally. Hell, i messed my own pronouns in the start cause i just was so used to hiding behind pronouns that didn't fit me
@@childofathena_ same thing with my i think the first two ppl i told were also trans and i remeber how i would also fumble up their pronouns and we all kida just learnt it.
as a pansexual person, i see it as a "choose your own label" kind of thing. whatever resonates with you is good for me! totally valid to identify as bisexual, pansexual, sexually fluid, whatever you think you identify with best.
thank you for the extra explaining clips. They're like a quick break from the main course and add a little to it
I'm one of the bis that identified as bi before I learned the term pan. I'd consider myself pan in practise, but I've been out as bi long enough that I don't feel the need to change it now and can give clarity to anyone who actually cares. Also, the colors in the bi flag are cuter so... 🌈❤
Your analogy with the colour blue is actually really helpful to me! I've been questioning my sexuality a lot over the past few years and a lot of times out of frustration I have wondered why we need so many labels when it just becomes too confusing. But yeah, just as colours vary slightly and are subjective, so does sexuality!
unus anus
UNUS ANNUS
Here are the definitions I have heard which clearly differentiate them:
Bi - Attraction to your own gender and other genders
Poly - Attraction to many genders
Pan - Attraction to all genders *regardless* of their gender
Omni - Attraction to all genders with preferences towards the genders
So they sort of overlap with each other, but not completely, right?
My brain exploded lmao
but, being bi, having that attraction to any gender- doesn't that also mean it's regardless of gender?
Omni people like myself don't necessarily have to have a preference. Pan people consider themselves "gender-blind," while us Omnis do take gender into account. Personally, I am attracted to everyone, but I dont find myself sexually attracted to men. I have been romantically attracted to guys, but wouldnt want to have seggs them. However I am romantically and sexually attracted to girls. So the word preference is kinda vague, I'd say its more of just a specificality of your sexuality.
Edit: I'm not quite sure about non-binary people, genderfluid, etc
@@56658 ig that's my so many ppl find that they can use the 2 labels interchangeably but the there's the "gender blind" seeing as bi ppl can feel like their attraction is gendered...
Bro his outfits in every video are always ✨on fleek✨
I'm 28 and I never thought that half the people I "argue" with on reddit or RUclips might actually be literal minors. I'm really dumbstruck rn. Why do I always assume, people are my age? I feel so stupid because it makes so much sense. When I was 16 all I did on RUclips, Facebook and Twitter was rant about the world and I didn't even comprehend what I was talking about. Looking back I don't blame myself, I was sixteen! How could I know? And it's part of the process. In real life I'm usually very understanding when it comes to teenagers throwing a fit over things or getting overexcited about something because I remember how it was. I envy them in a way. How have I not made this connection to the internet yet? You literally saved me there a little, friend. I will better myself and breathe before replying to comments now, if at all.
my personal definition of my bisexuality is "liking my own gender and liking other genders that are not my own" but bisexuality is fluid and can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people which is what makes it so amazing!! i love being bisexual and that took me a long time, since I've had gay/lesbian friends and homophobic straight people in my life tell me to "pick a side." I think that during pride month, but really all year round, we should appreciate the fact that everyone is unique and sexuality and gender can be different for each individual!!
that‘s also my personal definition! 🤗 i heard also the phrase "pick a side" *alot* and was always soooo irritated like what the hell why should i?! 🥲
@@alize7689 Are they really asking Bisexual people, people who identify in the Bisexual spectrum because they either can't pick a side or don't care... To pick a side....? They do know the reason why they're Bi is because they don't pick sides... right? They LITERALLY DON'T PICK A SIDE BECAUSE THEY LIKE BOTH.
Conclusion:
People are humans, humans like each other or they don't
I don’t know how often you get to hear this, but you are very beautiful or handsome or aesthetically pleasing, whatever you’re comfy with
also this was very informative and interesting to listen to :) see you in the next video!!
I used to think I was pan just because I liked more than just men and women. Now I use bi because someone introduced me to The Bisexual Manifesto.
Pan to me is liking someone and being "gender-blind", you have your types and you just go with them no matter the gender identity.
Bi to me is liking different genders in different ways. I have different types depending on genders, and there can be overlap! There's preferences depending on the gender identity.
That's my take :)
I think the spectrum bisexuality is labeled too much, and it confuses those who are exploring their bisexuality. I have a friend, she's only recently started to be attracted to women, she's more attracted to men than woman since she's newly exploring her sexuality. Since there's so many labels on the bisexuality spectrum, it confuses her as to what category she'd fit in. Which has made her suppress her feelings towards women since she doesn't want to be attacked by not having a stable label.
Fun fact: She's decided to identify as bi-curious for the time being
The point of bi is that you're not straight or gay. Being meticulous with all these other labels isn't needed. You don't see gay/straight ppl specifying their type in their orientation. Or foodies specifying what kind of food they prefer. If they're American and like foreign food too they don't say pan/poly/omni-foodie. Food is food. Not being attracted to one gender is not being attracted to one gender.
While that was true, the many labels helped ME personally, and maybe some other people out there. It took a while to look into them, and think about them, and to find out which one fits me best (I'm pan), but in the end when I did, I can find people in the community with similar experiences easier, it's easier to find people who r like me. People who gets me.
But yeah I understand why it's confusing for many other people. Hope your friend is well, it's okay to be questioning, take your time, be safe, all the loves💗
Whether or not anyone chooses to label their sexuality doesn't change the fact that they're valid!
@@Lola_Nico it’s not invalidating bisexuality fucktard
@@Lola_Nico pansexuality isnt invalidating bisexuality. grow up.
I've always understood being Bi as attraction to 2 or more genders and typically having a preference, as opposed to pan which is attraction regardless of gender. gender doesn't come to play whatsoever. labels tend to fall under many umbrellas and they're there to provide specifics; this also means that labels might not always be permanent. prior to finding out what pan was and its separation to bi, bi was what i identified with most.
Bi definitely doesn't mean attraction to "2 or more" genders. That's just... not how it's used or understood by, like, almost everyone. It has always been and still is defined as attraction to women and men... the two biggest gender (and sex) categories the most people fall into (that doesn't imply that non-binary and intersex people don't exist, because they obviously do). If someone's into, like, women and... idk non-binary women or demigirls or something on those lines, it would be weird, misleading, and just... wrong... to call them bi.
@@alexbennet4195 many bisexuals have the meaning of “two or more genders” why not just listen to them?
@@alexbennet4195 Except historically, it has been two or *more* genders. It may not be all genders on the spectrum, but it definitely isn't confined to as the prefix bi- may imply. A search through google and/or a talk with a bi person can confirm this
@@alexbennet4195 Fredrick literally just made a video on this and you're ignoring everything to just invalidate this random person online. The definition is different for different people but that doesn't mean your definition is correct. Why don't you worry about your own sexuality before you worry about someone else's sexuality ?🗿 Please don't do this EVER again. It's disrespectful and rude. Bisexuality has never had a merit for how much someone needs to like a certain gender so idk why it's starting to exist now. You aren't other people's merit. Neither is family or society. Bisexual people are their own merit. I am my own merit. See, I am bisexual myself and I definitely know I like men but I romantically like women (with a few occasions of being sexually attracted to women). People like you have tried to tell me what my sexuality is. For example, I've been told I'm actually just gay and I'm not bisexual to begin with. That's just not right on any level. My personal defintion for my sexuality is just as valid as anyone else's. Sure, this also includes your definition too, however, you're trying to make it objective when it isn't. You're overwriting someone else's definition and that's just not cool. You're definition can be 100% true to yourself but it's not true for everyone. Please do consider everything.
*2nd part about my post*. I realize you weren't talking about this person specifically but my point still stands on your take about what is right and wrong with certain people's view on bisexuality.
Obsessed with how well your eye makeup matching your shirt
im here to say, as someone who's in the closet, ur videos always make me so happy Frederic, its so great to see someone who doesn't have to hide who they truly are. there are a lot of people i can't tell that i'm lesbian, cuz my community in general is very conservative about lgbtqia+. ive always tried to educate all my friends about all the different spectrums, and it was really meaningful for me cuz they literally are some of the nicest and accepting ppl ever. its sad cuz my parents are extremely homophobic, and the amount of straight bf or husband jokes i get are literally so annoying i cannot-
anyways, here to say ur videos always brought me a lot of comfort, so thanks
as someone who's pan&omnisexual, there's so much hate within this bi umbrella like at the end • let others identify however they want, let them use whatever label seems fit to them, let them be whoever they want to be cuz fighting over someone's personal identity & label isn't hurting anyone.
I hate when people use the term bisexual spectrum or bi umbrella, like already saying "we both know that you are bi but with a different name :)" Like fuck that. People who are pan or omni are really pan or onmi, not a different flavor of bi that is just pekish.
Bi people talking about people trying to tell them to be pan, but not enough people talk enough about how we are all forced to be seen as bi even if we intentionally chose a different label for it and how shitty it is.
@@cidevant002 | There is a more inclusive label that I wish more people knew about. It’s mspec, or multi sexual-spectrum & it includes all labels that have an attraction to more than one gender! Im sure there will always be people who use bi-spectrum or see us as just a twist on bisexuality, but I hope the mspec label does become more popular some day ^^;
@@slitherysnake2711 Yes! I see it use it a lot on the spaces I move so seeing "bi spectrum" has been kinda of a shock for me lol
@@slitherysnake2711 hell yea thank you! I’ve only ever heard bi umbrella
@@slitherysnake2711 i think ive heard of tht , thank u for the info !
I'm bisexual, i'm nonbinary, my definition of *my* bisexuality is that i'm attracted to genders alike and unlike my own, *my* bisexuality doesn't exclude trans- or nonbinary people, its the label that i feel fits me and i've made it my own
Queen/King, claim your crown👑
I like your definition of it, I'll using it too. I'm non binary bisexual too
Same I am nonbinary and I just say I'm bi cause it's easy for everyone to understand. I like people regardless of gender. I like your definition!
Also a nonbinary/genderfluid bi here and this is exactly how I define being bisexual for myself.
How can you be BI-sexual and NONbinary. Like don't you see the contradiction? How can you be bisexual while rejecting the binary. Like what
I saw omni flag in the thumbnail and got so happy, we are finally not forgotten!!
I kind of laughed when you forgot what it was, normally I would be upset but you remembered us enough and we are usually forgotten ;-;
I relate so much to you talking about how omni and poly are usually forgotten so we usually just go with bi, I almost became bi but I’m so glad I found this video and it helped me remember who I am :)
For me, the word bisexual always meant 2+ because idk if i like ALL the genders, and i have preferences, so the label just sat right with me and i didn’t think too much about it
There's also omnisexual, which is basically where you can be attracted romantically and/or sexually to all genders BUT you have a preference,
I'm omni, and I have a preference towards girls and nonbinaries. Though, I can be attracted to a guy either way. I'm just less genderblind than pansexuals.
IN SHORT:
Omnisexual = all BUT with a preference
Pansexual = all (genderblind)
Bisexual.. you have your own definition. So I can't say much!
I hope I helped out even a little, and I hope you figure out whether you like all genders or not!
bisexuality has many definitions, but not a lot of people are accepting of those definitions. Just be you,at the end of the day you're just a person liking another person
im a closeted ravaging bisexual and seeing this pop up in my notifications just made my night somehow lol
im still figuring things out and ive always been scared of being told that im picking a side from other members of the community... but i think preferences are preferences and if u identify as bisexual with different levels of attractions for different genders, then its perfectly valid :)
ALSO CAN I JUST SAY I WANT THAT VEST SO BAD ITS SO CUTE WTFFFF
i want it too! luckily my sister can knit 😈
ALL LOVE TO YOU 🫶🏻🫶🏻
hi i just want to say I LOVE YOUR ART
Ah same , I feel like this comment section is full of all the bi peps uniting 😊
@@rach0147 we MUST UNITE!!
To me, being bisexual has always meant I have the capacity to love and be attracted to people across the feminine/masculine spectrum. Gender does matter to me because gender usually matters to the people I am attracted to. I am definitely not “gender-blind,” which is why pansexuality as a label has never appealed to me. I see and appreciate so many different expressions and experiences of gender. Cis men are beautiful, cis women are beautiful, trans men and trans women are beautiful, non binary people are beautiful and the list goes on!
This is how I perceive my bisexuality too!
I-...you just introduced a new way for me to define my bisexuality. Thank you!
holy shit you just made me found out i’m bi, thank you!
Hell yea 😎
What's funny is your exact definition is how I arrived at the pansexual label! 😂 I've never liked the phrase "gender blind" since it reminds me way, way too much of people who say "I don't see color" in regards to racial discourse. I obviously can see the gender spectrum and I'm fascinated by and celebrate it! I have the capacity for attraction across that spectrum, and gender doesn't matter to me.
The differences between bi and pan really are just personal perspective.
As usual, you make so much sense - and the fit is gorgeous, lowkey want that vest so badly
Omg I commented this before you recommended the vest, now I want it even more
A several friends of mine went thru a whole personal sexuality finding journy, and I'm proud of all of them. Most of them in the end (instead of going super deep into gynosexuality and abrosexuality and all the super detailed ones) just stuck with pan/bi/omni when coming out to people/putting it in their bio/desc.
I have no idea how to phrase things but what I mean is, ITS OK TO SEARCH! There are probably hundreds of sexualities and genders and I bet you'll find one that fits you! (even those who identify that they dont have any sexuality/gender, you all are valid!) But remember that there is literally 0 shame if u don't find exactly what you're looking for and decide to identify under the pan umbrella, bisexual umbrella, mlm/wlw umbrella, lesbian umbrella, gay umberlla, cis or trans, enby, or anything else!. As long as YOU are comfortable with what you have that is perfect!
tl;dr: BEEE WHOOO YOU AREEE~~ FOR YOUR ✨✨✨✨🥰PRIDEE!!!🥰🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈
(Thank you for barely making out whatever word vomit i just threw at you!)
When I was younger I always told people that I'm pansexual because it just felt right, because it was something I could describe my sexuality with and it me helped to express myself a lot. But as I grew up and learnt more and more about lgbtq+, I started meeting people online who told me that pansexuality isn't a thing, it's just a different way to say bisexual, it doesn't exist, I'm just biphobic and so on. And, well, I wasn't, and I couldn't understand why it's not valid, no one actually explained it to me normally. All I wanted is to feel comfortable about my sexuality, to feel included, be able to talk about it openly and be proud of it, I didn't think this much through when I picked this label. I wanted to be myself. And I tried to find more fitting label but at some point I just gave up, because for me it was always like "Am I really ___? Maybe It's not valid. Maybe I'm just forcing myself to think I'm ___. Am I queer at all? Do I even deserve to be called ___?". Now I just tell people I'm unlabelled or bi depending on who I'm talking to, but this video helped me to feel comfortable with who I am again. I still don't know if I wanna be called pansexual or not, there are too many different definitions, but I like this label and pan flag is one of my favourites. Also sorry if there are a lot of mistakes, english isn't my first language :)
upd: nvm I'm aroace
It just felt kinda wrong to leave this comment as it is since people are replying and relate to me even now. I still stand by everything I said because back then I really thought I'm pan. If you're bisexual or pansexual, your sexuality is super valid! Use whatever label feels right for you! Thanks to this community fot everything, I loved it here.
I had kind of the same experience with pansexuality. When I started questioning my sexual orientation, I begin researching and I was like yeah, maybe I’m bisexual, but then I came across with the term pansexual and I felt soo much comfortable with that tag. However, I saw a lot of comments saying that pansexuality was biphobic, etc.
So after I really tried to say that I was bi, but with time and people accepting a lot more pansexuality, I was like fuck it, I’m pan and that’s it lol.
You don’t have to label yourself if yo don’t want to but don’t be afraid to use the term that makes comfortable just because of other peoples opinions. Also, hope there aren’t many mistakes cause english isn’t my first language either hahah.
Bro this was better typing then me and English is my first language, also thank you for sharing you’re story 💞
@@haileydurf1928 omg i'm so happy i didn't mess it up too much
Tbh by my country's official definitions they are the same thing so watev. As long as people stop claiming bisexual are just attracted to the binary genders, use what you want.
Some people just don't get that bisexuality was called as such because of the attraction to both sexes, not gender. Not to mention it was established when gender theory was not that developed. You could say in pansexuality you love people regardless of sex or watev.
Tbh I think bisexual were so pissed before about pansexuality is because many pansexuals tried to explain by claiming they were attracted to all genders, and bisexual weren't. Which the bisexual community didn't agree on. On top of that they were accusing each other of being transphobic. And while the reaction was really bad, both sides were actively discrediting each other's identities in a really bad way.
And honestly early pansexuality was more iffy than it is now. When it came up, some even claimed that trans people were another gender and all that. Pansexuality is more accepted now mostly because of that too. The misleading claims of some that the community rejected slowly died down :/
@@unlimon6382 I totally agree!!
i identified as bi for about 4 years before coming out as lesbian, the whole time i thought i was pan but i stuck with bi because i liked the colors better
“i liked the colors better” that’s literally
gonna be me this spring when choosing a college to commit to
before i realised i was lesbian i thought i was bi but i wanted to be pan because i liked the flag colours 💀
Honestly valid, lol
are you me bc this is me exactly but it was like 7 years instead of 4 hahaha
Gah this look is such a vibe. I want sweater vests to come back.
You are one of the few to keep my attention for the video, and as a bicurious human leaning more towards feeling comfortable identifying as bi if anything, this was nice to watch to see if there’s anything else I might end up identifying with later down the road. Also, I need an eyeshadow tutorial, I’m struggling with eyeshadow rn and I like yours
As a bisexual who is attracted to all genders, thank you for this :')
I do understand that they’re more than one definition for bisexual, however I do believe that attraction to all genders regardless would be closer to pansexual or omnisexual. At least that’s what I grew up learning. However if you feel more comfortable with the term bisexual then ofc use it😊! -from a ✨bi✨
as a bisexual wouldnt being attracted to all genders mean you’re (by definition) pan?? like since when has bi been being attracted to “one more more” genders I thought that was reserved for pans lol /gen
@@confuzed_colonizer I'm also a bisexual attracted to all genders and I use bi because bisexuality has always included that and I don't see why the emergence of new labels should be able to 'shrink' bisexuality and reduce what it covers.
@@Lola_Nico everyone point and laugh
@nofxckingregrets You can't just not agree with someone's sexual orientation
I'd love to see something about the a-spec community and the conflation of aromanticism and asexuality, and maybe addressing aro-allo people too, we're always excluded/forgotten (even by other a-specs!) and it's real frustrating
As far as I can tell, we have less infighting in the a-spec community. The ace-spec community does have some asexuals who say shit like “if you have or like sex then you’re not a real asexual” but for the most part everyone is just like “yeah ok whatever bigot” to those people.
However we have to fight a lot just to show we exist.
In fact every aspect of my identity I have to fight for acknowledgement of its existence. Bisexual/biromantic? Often told to pick a side. Demisexual? Told I’m just straight and trying to be special. Delloromantic? They don’t even say anything, they just move on as if nothing was said. Bigenderflux? Told its fake, there’s nothing more than a men and women. Or told to “pick a more simple label”.
As an asexual and demiromantic person (i also use panromantic, to describe the fact that i don't care about the gender of who i'm romantically attracted to) i so want this!
Allo and demi are kinds forgotten, and in my experience, when i told people about being demiromantic, sometimes i recieved the answer "so you just need to know someone before loving them, sounds pretty normal to me".
And i'm like: no bruh, demi is just on a whole other level of connection needed to just simply CONSIDER liking someone romantically.
I'm also genderfluid, so yeah, have to deal with that shit too
thank you for making this video and happy early birthday!
THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS! AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID! LOVE YOU!!!!!
When I first heard the term bisexual for me it just felt like everything clicked into space
All the years of confusion and panic finally made sense, meaning that I didn’t have to chose between women and men
Nowadays when I look at the definition of pan I can also identify with it but I just feel save in my little bi space I created I don’t really feel like switching.
I do still find other genders attractive though but just don’t really think about it much.
Bi for me is a Spektrum that entails a lot of things and a lot of people vary on
Same!! :D
SAME??? Back in primary school I was just never told that sexuality was more than "gay" and "straight" (homophobic fam and all) so I'd always be like "yeah I'm straight but if a mafia boss kidnapped me to force me to date his daughter I'd be cool with it" and I'd constantly look down on other girls for not being prepared for this exact case scenario. Basically, I always thought I was "straight but would kiss girls", and when I discovered the bi label I went batshit insane. Sometimes the internet sucks but I'm still thankful because I would've had so much internalised biphobia had it not been for that.
same
I'm pansexual because I can't figure out if my attraction is gendered or not, and choosing to identify as pansexual just means "i don't care", not anything fancy or deep. I'm already aromantic and I have an anxiety disorder, I'm not doing any "exploration", thanks! I get super frustrated with pansexual definitions pretty often, especially as someone who has...preferences? And I hate having to explain why liking beards isn't a gendered preference. It's nonsensical anyway. I just like people, why do I have to explain it so random assholes can figure out the "correct word" for me?
that sucks! it's cool to know there are more aro/pan people out there, though!
Those people sound annoying lmao
Also, how did you know that you are aromantic?
I'm just curious 👉👈
@@deathlight4210 tbh when I found out about the word aromantic (age 12 just about) I thought "oh, so that's what I am" and it's not something I've questioned as rigorously as my gender or sexuality - not because I haven't considered alternatives, but because I have zero compelling evidence. I am a queer adult now with non-aro queer friends that i talk to irl, and its just not the same. This might not be helpful for questioning folks ofc lol. I've never had romantic fantasies, the desire to be in a romantic relationship (this is the most important part imo), and I'm repulsed by romantic gestures directed at me, all that jazz, just a stereotypical aro
as someone who’s pan this is the same for me i just don’t really care lmao
YOOO ANOTHER PAN-ARO PERSON
that was so wholesome, I love it!
I love your whole style, WORK!
I realized I was bi when I was 18-19 but I was dating guys my whole life. I accepted my bisexuality but never tried to explore the woman-loving side of myself til my last long-term boyfriend and I broke up in quarantine. I tried meeting women on dating apps but I still couldn't see them as anything other than potential friends. I was having an existential crisis and kept feeling like maybe I wasn't actually bi.
I've come to just accept that while I find women and feminine looking people sexually and aesthetically attractive, I might not be the type of bi to ever catch feelings for someone of the same gender.
I know a few people that are bisexual but are homoromantic but I never considered the possibility of someone being heteromantic(?). And when I realized that I didn't need to force myself to like women romantically, I got more comfortable in my sexuality.
Thank you for this. I echo a lot of what you wrote. Thank you for putting your words out here it means a lot!
This is basically the same as me! I've been deciding if I'm bi but I've been going by unlabeled/queer
I think a lot of people don't vibe much with the romantics because not everyone just wants to be a FWB or a fling or whatever. A lot of gay people want relationships and preferences really harm them when they get dealt with the "sorry I just prefer _" card. I know it can't be helped but I feel like that should be clarified before Amy sexual relations happen with the sex/gender you don't prefer as much or want to pursue relationships with to avoid the heartache of some gays
5:50 I wouldn't necessarily call it bi on pan crime, but rly bisexual people who've always conceptualized their bisexual identity as being attracted to more than one gender being annoyed that there are people who are trying to define their identity for them. Because irregardless of where you stand on the whole bi vs pan debate, the idea that we needed a label that was more inclusive than bisexual is… Como Se Dice…
Problematique™.
I came out as bisexual at 12, since then I've had certain people (strangers and friends alike) tell me "if bi isn't just two genders, why aren't you pan? it's the same thing" it's frustrating because i personally find the pansexual label extremely uncomfortable, bi was the first thing that i knew and it's the one label that made me go "yeah that's me!" that no other label has managed to recreate. Not to mention, people that use the "bi = transphobic" argument fail to see the fact that people who use the bi label can themselves be trans or nonbinary!
it's not always about being more inclusive. no one can speak for every person on either label, but pansexuality has historically been defined by just,,, all and that's not to say "bi didn't mean that", cause it hinted at that in its own manifesto. but the manifesto also straight up says "many of us choose not to label ourselves at all, and find the word bisexual to be inadequate and too limiting." it's a bit strange to misrepresent a sexuality because of a loud minority while the "opposing" sexuality has always supported said problematic notion.
EDIT: you're 100% right on calling out the forcing of bis into... any label they didn't choose for themselves. it's weird, controlling and shouldn't happen in any community
I think he was referring to bi peoples being bitchy to pans about their labels, which I’ve sadly seen in the past 🥲 also pans attacking bi peoples for the same reasons,,, it’s super sad akdjs at the end of the day peoples should just be able to label themselves whatever they feel most comfortable with so long as they’re not harming anyone.
And also yes, I’ve seen too many peoples trying to force us (bi peoples) into labeling ourselves as pan because bi is supposedly transphobic or whatever but they never seem to think that trans peoples also identify as bi??
Like I’m non-binary and identify with it, I’m into more than just women and men too. I know MTFs and FTMs in the same situation as me as well, it’s kind of ludicrous to act as if you did that for the greater good of trans peoples whilst also disrespecting us by forcing us to change our labels. And it’s especially annoying since I’ve mostly if not only heard that shit from cis peoples nandskdjs
@@femalegays Pansexual was conceptualized in an attempt to create a more inclusive label than bisexual. It's where the "hearts not parts" rhetoric (which I find deeply uncomfortable as a trans person) comes from. That's not me trying to define one sexuality by a loud minority, that is its honest to God origin story.
@@felicityb93 yes exactly and it's biphobic as hell. Saying that our label is transphobic because of how THEY defined our sexuality as somehow only including cis men and women is inherently biphobic. If they took two fucking seconds to actually talk to a bi person they would've realized that "bi" covers all of that and they didn't need to assign transphobic behavior onto us just to make themselves look more "woke" and "open".
Girl that makeup is awesome ✨✨✨
Love the colors 💜
Omg the paws of pride shirt! I adore that!
ive identified as bisexual since i was a kid! it was definitely the first sexual identity i felt comfortable in, and because of that long term familiarity i stick with it along with my definition expanding to include everyone (including myself since im also nonbinary!). nowadays i more just generally identify as queer as a whole, but i still have a fondness for those labels/flags. i have no idea why people get their panties in a twist over bi meaning and evolving to encompass everyone. just let people love who they wanna love without the pressure of labels!!
edit: lets also not forget the biphobia and pressure bisexuals face when it comes to “not being gay enough” within the community sometimes, especially bisexual women. there’s a weird pressure online for bi women to “hate” men and distance themselves from their attraction to them because its not queer enough for the community. i definitely faced that when i was younger and its a HUGE problem.
I totally relate to your experiences in the edit! The large community of bisexual women on tiktok who dedicate videos to hating on men shocked me when I first came to terms with my sexuality. I thought that bisexual tiktok would be a supportive platform about people sharing their bisexual experiences and struggles, and although a lot of it is, a huge chunk of it is hating on men and bi girls saying they wish they were lesbians. It makes me really sad that the pressure to be “gay enough” is keeping people from embarrassing their bisexuality :(
yessssong all of this is so good especially the edit on biphobia. i feel so bad for bi men cause from what i understand ppl will just like not believe them? like they say they’re actually gay or actually straight and just not believe that a man can be attracted to both
i totally feel that!!! being “not gay enough” always hurt me and my identity journey, and it really sucks that even though we’re this big “accepting” community, we still shame each other for the dumbest of things
@@emmahughes2583 Yes! Bi men exist! I identify as bisexual and I love bi men. But sadly bi erasure exists and there definitely are people who hate on bi people and say they aren’t “gay enough.” I read someone on Twitter say “Bi men are called secretly gay, while bi women are called secretly straight and just doing it for male attention, which means there is this assumption that everyone is actually just attracted to men.” That hit me hard because I’m actually the opposite. I love femininity. I love feminine traits in both men and women. I love feminine women. I love feminine men. I love feminine trans and non-binary folks. I personally never found masculinity attractive (it’s cool if other people do I just don’t personally find masculinity attractive). So it’s actually really funny to me that people assume everyone’s secret preference is for men/masculine presenting people. I wish there was a label for feminine or masculine preference but there isn’t really yet, so I just identify with bi because those are the people I get along with and understand my experiences the best. 💖💜💙
RUclips isn't letting me comment, so ignore the censoring, it's just an attempt to avoid removal.
When I realized I was bi, I never felt shame for liking people other than just boys, and I wasn't quiet about it (nor was I loud; I just accepted it as it was). But, for whatever reason, I did struggle to come to terms with my attraction towards the opposite s3x, even though you'd think the same-s3x attraction would've been the harder pill to swallow with homophobia and the like.
I didn't realize that other people experience similar struggles- I knew people assume bi men are gay, and that irks me. No, they are bi. (One of my closest friends is a bi guy, and all of our friends call him the "gay friend". He used to stand up for himself and tell them that, no, he isn't just gay, but he stopped because they wouldn't listen. When I try to defend him now, he just laughs it off and says it's alright- but it still feels so wrong to me for them to do that to him.) I also knew people say to "pick a side", which is equally as frustrating. I am not 50% gay and 50% straight, I'm 100% BI, and that's okay! Besides I love everyone outside and inbetween the binary just as much, and I do have preferences, so that wouldn't be accurate regardless.
I don't need to pick a side- no one does!- but I've only truly realized that recently. I used to say that I liked both, or that I liked everyone, but then I'd call myself "gay" or "lesbian". Then if I liked a guy, it would feel so wrong... only if it was me, though. I never had a problem with other people liking both. I just felt like I wasn't gay enough. I can't believe it's such a huge problem within the community... and as someone who also identifies with the term demis3xual, people's hate towards those on the ace spectrum is devastating. Why can't we just accept one another? Isn't that what this community is all about?
Day 59 of remembering that Frederic always has murder knives at his disposal. Panicked at the title but it feel amazing to feel represented by you! Proud Omnisexual here! 💙💜❤️
@@sushih3302 tyyyyy!!!
Who hurt you-
Yeah who hurt you? because it is a thing because I am a proud omnisexual
@@mariebaeten7241 yessss I totally understand!!! I had a sort of similar journey but I tried pan first which didn't "click" per sey, and then a friend of mine told my about omnisexuality and when I looked into it more it seemed to fit me perfectly! ❤❤happy pride month to you, and to all!!! 🏳🌈🏳🌈
@@trixierabbit hiya! ♥
Frederic, you make the world a much better place
As someone who has settled on a pan label but is frequently self-analyzing if bi or omni fits better - thank you for this video!
I personally think the reason people get so confused on whether bi means attraction to two genders or attraction to more than two is because a lot of people don't realize/don't acknowledge there are more than two genders.
It's weird because me being Indigenous and before we all got colonized by the French, Spanish, and British, the Indigenous people believed in more than 2 genders. Some tribes believed in 5 genders.
My understanding and my definition is bi is an attraction to anyone. You are able and allowed to have preferences, that's just how it works. For me, Pan is simply a microlabel that basically means 'bisexual but specifically doesn't care about gender'.
I identified as gay for a very long time, then bi, and recently I've had identity issues so I'm now calling myself queer.
Edit: I genuinely do not understand why the term microlabel sets people off so much. Its not a bad thing. Being as specific or as vague as you choose to be is not a bad thing. One is not more important than the other.
yup!! i agree with this definition personally lol
@@lilttiger I'm glad someone does lol, Twitter's constantly on my ass about being a panphobe 😩
I used to think that way too but myself and honestly a lot of other pan people honestly don't like the label bi at all, it just doesn't feel right to say that because it isn't an accurate description to who I am, as a pan person I don't think one is under the other but rather they're overlapping.
I used to have a couple friends who were pan that tried to get me to also be pan cause bi "isn't inclusive" like girl you're telling this to me, a nonbinary he/they. I think I know what I'm doing
@@BarbieDreamDungeon I also find this silly because regardless of what you say your label is, your sexuality doesn't change. You don't just *switch* to being pan, you know you're bi.
Can I just say you are really beautiful and you're makeup is really pretty 😍
You’re the first person I agreed with I most of this stuff. Keep up the good work.
I went by bi/pan for a while than fell into the microlabel rabbit hole. I found omni and it really felt right. I only recently went back to going by bi. my personal reason is because I realized that I didn’t really have a preference (but gender still did play some sort of role in the attraction), and I honestly prefer the bisexual flag. anywaysss, it felt very validating to know that a label doesn’t just have to be just the meaning. it’s the community, the flag, etc.
to all the questioning gaybies out there, you can do it. experiment with a label. if it doesn’t fit it doesn’t fit, and that’s okay. love you
Sexuality does evolve throughout your life span so just explore and enjoy yourself
As a bi girl, my main problem with the whole "pan is gender blind" talk is that it leaves room for people to say that bi folks only care about gender. As if everyone don't fall with the person and not their gender.
Like, a gay guy doesn't fall in love with every man that he comes across and when he does fall in love is not cause he's simply a boy. No one likes someone just because of their gender, even though it does play a part in the attraction thing for straight, lesbian and gay people, but when talking about multisexuals, like bis and pans, it can just be a personal thing. And just like Frederic said, it's a you thing, not a whole sexuality's.
So just cause YOU PERSONALLY don't care about gender, that doesn't mean that it's a definition for your sexuality.
I, myself don't care about the gender of people, I just have a crush on them. But that doesn't mean that I'll start saying that only bi people don't care about gender
This! I'm straight but I've never understood the idea of "I'm attracted to the person not the gender." Like yeah?? Isn't that how it works for everyone? Yes, I'm only attracted to men, but I'm not attracted to them simply because they are men. I'm attracted to the person that happens to fit in the male category.
@@aetosia6490 I'll try to explain it in the best way possible. When we Pan people say "oh I don't see gender" we're talking abt how wr don't care abt how that person labels themselves or if they even label themselves at all. It's basically just "I like who I like REGARDLESS of gender. I like who I like and I hate who I like" type.
I don't really think you're understanding what pansexuals mean by "gender blind" we're talking abt how we're attracted to who we're attracted to REGARDLESS of what the label their gender as or if the even label it at all. Straight people will only be attracted to the opposite gender, they only find ONE gender to attract to, it's not the case for other sexualities and especially not pansexual as we literally don't CARE what someone's gender is. They could be anything and we wouldn't care. It's not to say "oh bisexuals care abt gender" or "bisexuals only look at gender" that's never been stated. Bisexualitys definition can only be written by a bisexual, same with pansexuality
@@petals514 .. Ok, but bisexual people can not 'see gender' as well? It's alright to identify however you want, no one should be able to stop you, but don't tell people who id as bi how they're attracted 2 people lmao.
THIS!!!
I love your jumper so much it’s gorgeous
hello fred!! i just want to say that your videos are filling my conan gray hole-shaped heart HAHAHA but no no, i really enjoy your content for you and what you bring. thank you for these videos, i am learning a lot about the lgbtq+ ^^