The Basics of Anger Issues and Complex Trauma

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  • Опубликовано: 20 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 197

  • @TimFletcher
    @TimFletcher  2 дня назад

    💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.

    • @Claiire-vn5rh
      @Claiire-vn5rh День назад

      @@TimFletcher yep, "they" tried to catch me and I didn't know how to tell you. Glad, you know and you warn people. Thank you 🩷

  • @writerofunimportantthings
    @writerofunimportantthings 17 дней назад +191

    Why is it that so few are talking about cPTSD on this level? Seriously like almost no one, yet SO many resonate with what this guy is talking about on a deep level.

    • @Lyrielonwind
      @Lyrielonwind 17 дней назад +7

      Denial can come in disguise in some sort of banalization or normalization. Violence in childhood is so wide most people play jokes about it. In my culture it's quite normal talking about our mothers' flying flipflops or sandals. Mine didn't use them but she used to wear big rings with gems since she considers herself a "lady" or "señora".

    • @bettinadorthelaursen8563
      @bettinadorthelaursen8563 17 дней назад +4

      @@LyrielonwindI dont get that ?

    • @writerofunimportantthings
      @writerofunimportantthings 17 дней назад +20

      @Lyrielonwind the more I watch this guy the more it becomes clear why I turned out the way I did. Most of the focus is on the explosive anger like he said but when he described the family atmosphere of extreme tension, brooding anger just under the surface, I immediately recognized that feeling. I had never thought about it and never realized that's not "normal" even if lots of kids experience that.

    •  17 дней назад +22

      I feel like cptsd accounts for an overwhelming amount of problems in society and families. I dare say it is the root of most mental health issues. Just my 2 cents!

    • @StellaSable4891
      @StellaSable4891 17 дней назад +6

      Addictions. health problems. Money problems. Problems at work, school etc. Auto immune disorders. Depression, Anxiety, trauma bonds. Memory, attention spans and other difficult or confusing cognitive, physical, spiritual, financial behaviors. Etc etc.

  • @Akkodha-
    @Akkodha- 16 дней назад +71

    It amazes me how smart most of us probably are extremely smart or very smart or just smart in general, but once you get triggered into that anger that smartness sometimes just absolutely goes away

    • @almondmilksoda
      @almondmilksoda 14 дней назад +10

      Your logical thinking brain literally goes offline when your limbic system is triggered.

    • @jho2646
      @jho2646 11 дней назад +1

      And then get angry at yourself for not acting like you think you should with the benefit of hindsight. I can give myself a hard time about this for weeks.

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 8 дней назад +1

      @@almondmilksoda... and later rationlises it. To protect one's self Image of smart.

    • @jtmacri1
      @jtmacri1 5 дней назад +3

      My IQ was measured at 136 but I’m an absolute failure. I spend a lot of time thinking about who I could have been if I wasn’t broken.

  • @Mallowolf
    @Mallowolf 17 дней назад +28

    For a long time into adulthood I was livid at my child self for not being able to protect or defend myself. It took me years to understand that how I acted was the only way I was able to get some of the emotional nutrients I needed growing up.
    If you’re someone who struggles with self hatred, I hope you read this and something clicks for you.
    You can’t hate yourself better.

  • @Lyrielonwind
    @Lyrielonwind 17 дней назад +116

    I realized that anger directed to yourself might translate as depression or addiction. The trigger is external but it doesn't come out as rage but as self-punishment.

    • @redlionesv
      @redlionesv 16 дней назад +3

      🤔

    • @markgory6847
      @markgory6847 16 дней назад +12

      @@Lyrielonwind and self defeating behaviour.

    • @Lyrielonwind
      @Lyrielonwind 16 дней назад +5

      @@markgory6847
      Which wasn't inheritance but conditioning.

    • @nickieglazer33
      @nickieglazer33 16 дней назад +10

      @@Lyrielonwind Yes, I inverted the anger and used to self-harm/ self-sabotage.

    •  16 дней назад +5

      @@Lyrielonwind good comment 👍

  • @tayzonday
    @tayzonday 16 дней назад +14

    The “lava” analogy is so apropos. I feel seen 😳

    • @TrentAdam
      @TrentAdam 3 дня назад

      You are the chocolate rain guy? How random. What in God's name

  • @Doesitmatter-by3xb
    @Doesitmatter-by3xb 16 дней назад +21

    Realising that a huge part of why I disassociate is to block out feeling anger and rage, which I'm full of
    As a kid I was never allowed to express anger + feared that I'd hurt somebody innocent so I bottled it inside

  • @smokingcrab2290
    @smokingcrab2290 14 дней назад +36

    I'm not angry at myself. I'm angry at everyone who's put me down and abandoned me without any listening or healing

    • @nikia737
      @nikia737 7 дней назад

      you should still be angry at yrself for not staying in control..guilt n shame there too. to me we need to hold respocibility even if we been trained badly.im fighting cptsd.its not our fault but we choose to fix ourselves or keep abusing others because we were abused..nasty cycle needs to stop.

    • @Turtle-RR
      @Turtle-RR 3 дня назад +2

      Let it all go. It's not you're burden to carry anymore.

    • @Turtle-RR
      @Turtle-RR День назад +2

      @sarahellison-leach2077 I'm a combat vet, I have PTSD also major depressive disorder, I did not claim it to be simple or discredited you're trauma, simply encouraging. My faith in God is the only credit I give to allowing me to heal from past Trauma. Best of luck in you're healing process.

    • @nikia737
      @nikia737 День назад +1

      @@sarahellison-leach2077 its never that simple ,and yes im gaining control back,panick attacks lessen,we all have to take responsibility for ourselves.growing and forgiving,letting go.

    • @sarahellison-leach2077
      @sarahellison-leach2077 День назад

      @@Turtle-RR I wish you healing on all levels. deleted my comment.

  • @user-ur2wd8du4z
    @user-ur2wd8du4z 16 дней назад +30

    “You have two good days and you think `I got my anger under control’” I Laughed out loud! Funny cuz it’s true.

  • @joeschmo7957
    @joeschmo7957 17 дней назад +32

    You don't miss a thing, do you, Tim? Damn near 100% spot on, this guy.
    Anger, Tim. There you have it.

  • @fluffers7997
    @fluffers7997 17 дней назад +41

    These videos help so much. I can't afford to see a professional so your youtube has been the therapy I need. I've been angry and scared for a long time, and I don't remember being like this when I was younger. Now that someone is actually explaining all these things I've been getting better at handling it.

    • @rorywynhoff1549
      @rorywynhoff1549 17 дней назад +1

      Another very good channel for help is, Shaneen Megji.

    • @h.j.chapin9595
      @h.j.chapin9595 17 дней назад +2

      Grief at ALL the loss we've experienced as a people since COVID. Soul-smashing anger, self-hatred & bitterness due to an unresolved relationship with my narcissistic dad.

    • @jupo9928
      @jupo9928 13 дней назад +2

      This guy Tim is great. I kinda him easy to listen to. It helps me listen carefully and not just get annoyed (interesting topic related in this video). But some people on RUclipsrs seem to be grifters who don't understand and they just talk random words. Tim gets it. He's authentic.

    • @mahatmadoo2566
      @mahatmadoo2566 10 дней назад

      👍💯

    • @iamblessed3539
      @iamblessed3539 2 дня назад

      ​@@rorywynhoff1549She is awesome too!!

  • @jeankeil4989
    @jeankeil4989 16 дней назад +36

    I now know why my simmering anger exists. I’m angry at the injustices I experienced as a child and young adult. I need to pray that God will help me forgive people so I can be free of my suffering ✝️🙏

  •  17 дней назад +35

    Anger is a tool. Learn to leverage it because it comes from the place in us that loves us most. Anger informs and protects. It's ok to experience anger.
    Let's forgive ourselves for being human! Let's forgive others, too.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 16 дней назад +4

      It’s jet fuel for your rocket of desire 😉 don’t get mad… just get there!

    •  16 дней назад

      @caroleminke6116 it took me time to figure that out, too! I'm trying to tell others it's ok that it can take decades.

    • @arabellacox
      @arabellacox 10 дней назад

      Tim is talking about anger that's destructive that harms us.

  • @williamjohn7909
    @williamjohn7909 16 дней назад +8

    There were many things that I came to realise about my anger. First, was how it was such a constant within me and how ashamed I was of at being such an angry person. Second, was how that anger meant I was unlovable and that I needed to keep people at an emotional distance to stop me from hurting them emotionally and then them rejecting me. Third, was how much emotionally energy I had to invest to try and suppress my anger in order to try to function normally. Fourth, how it didn't matter how often I vented in counselling sessions or in other uncontrollable situations the lava underneath never became exhausted. There was always more fuel for the fire. Fifth, how that anger was my ultimate protection. I subconsciously knew that the one thing I could rely on to protect me in any situation was my rage. That however dangerous emotionally or physically the situation my anger would ensure my safety. Sixth, and the last lesson I learned was my intense anger stemmed from the deep hurt and raw emotional pain I felt from being treated so badly as a small child.

  • @roxy7255
    @roxy7255 15 дней назад +21

    Sometimes anger is a good thing especially when it’s a sign our boundaries have been violated so we can act.

    • @CessLa2oya
      @CessLa2oya 8 дней назад

      @@roxy7255 yes I’ve just drawn this healthy relationship w/ anger and how to notice the difference

  • @debg70525
    @debg70525 13 дней назад +6

    ❤ Absolutely... always directed at me ..not blowing up at others...Ty for this ... Alcohol and depression and anxiety...

  • @raitmeri6533
    @raitmeri6533 12 дней назад +3

    I’m an Australian woman and the anger is a boomerang. It always gets me in the end 😅

  • @am_db111
    @am_db111 17 дней назад +11

    you said it well. ive come to accept and understand my anger and rage but damn it appears out of left field from time to time and i'm trying so hard to manage it because its really not who i am at my core. anger and rage has been one of the hardest feelings to tame 🥴

    • @stoneneils
      @stoneneils 17 дней назад

      My rage is constant on/off throughout the day...its always from splitting. For example if a photocopier is broken all technology is garbage, the world is suffering under its weight, we're a dumb species for relying on it so much, i hate people using their smartphones and want to kill them all. Then I walk to the next machine..it works..and I'm all peace and love again. Its insanity.

  • @christopherlyman1486
    @christopherlyman1486 17 дней назад +3

    Thank you, Tim. My employers get angry with me. They make decisions about me I wouldn't make about them. I get angry too. My decisions about other people do not result in their destitution. Anger comes out in different ways. I could do without them. Thanks for being here.

  • @Abundance26
    @Abundance26 16 дней назад +4

    This is all so true. Im very afraid of getting angry and i don't like being pushed to that point because I get out of character and black out and once it's all done, I'm completely burnt and exhausted. Because of this, I try to avoid people and driving unnecessarily.

  • @andreejohnston516
    @andreejohnston516 17 дней назад +10

    It’s okay to be angry and I don’t want to be hiding my emotions anymore. Too many people try to shut me up.

  • @marshallrobinson1019
    @marshallrobinson1019 17 дней назад +14

    I begged my wife to give me space whenever I felt close to loosing control. My greatest fear was doing injury to the person I loved. Years ago, she left me and I became overwhelmed. I took it out on myself. Fortunately, I was unsuccessful. However, I met four out of the five potential criteria for an aneurysm and I'm not entirely unconvinced I didn't have one.
    For the next year to a year and a half, I went through wild mood swings. I lost many of my interests and hobbies. I still find it difficult to connect with those parts of myself (especially the emotions I had). Additionally, I lost interest in academic and intellectual persuits I'd had.
    All this is to say, I'd highly recommend addressing any issues you identify within yourself.

    • @Lyrielonwind
      @Lyrielonwind 17 дней назад +3

      I don't know if it's your case but I went from fight and fligth responses to freeze response and I have lost energy and motivation. I don't know if it was the result of doing EMDR for a year. Anyway, I think that, although I tried to fight and flight in my childhood I had to go to freeze and fawn in order to survive and freeze is my dominant trauma response and has become my auto pilot. Of course, antidepressants don't do me any good but I can't convince any doctors so I refuse to take them. I have no money for therapy and when I had it I didn't find any who could help me. Complex PTSD is unknown for most of them.

    • @marshallrobinson1019
      @marshallrobinson1019 17 дней назад +2

      @Lyrielonwind I was very heavily mired in fight response and freeze response when stressed. Situations where I should've been afraid, I'd freeze until my anger built and then attack the source of my stress. I didn't attempt to fawn. Instead, it was as if I'd wait to see if the stress persisted and then attempt to remove the element as quickly as possible. I have no desire to discuss the acts or violence I committed in response. Fortunately, I did not cause permanent injury to anyone.

    • @stoneneils
      @stoneneils 17 дней назад +1

      You probably didn't have an anyeurism because I've had the exact same thoughts for years but had TWO scans of my brain in the summer and they said all clear. I had a bad headach for months, ending up being sinus infection from a dying molar tooth. They looked at every vein in my head apparently...once with iodine..once without..to get to two levels.

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 8 дней назад

      Maybe some academic and intellectual pursuits were just covering up issues and therefore they feel less attractive right now.
      An innate curiosity will come back once our exhaustion is gone. Till then the addictive and diverting effect is possibly out of the window . And that maybe good as cleansing and temporary.

    • @marshallrobinson1019
      @marshallrobinson1019 7 дней назад

      @annelbeab8124 I was deliberately vague. If you were to look up risk factors for aneurysm, and consider what the word "unsuccessful" implies then you'd get a general sense of events.

  • @ReallyStrongGuy
    @ReallyStrongGuy 16 дней назад +3

    4:40 Yeah. Addiction to anger is a very tricky beast. It will always find a way, until you face it and deconstruct it.

  • @arabellacox
    @arabellacox 10 дней назад +4

    Being told I'm "rude" is one of my anger triggers. I'll go '0 to 60' in a nano-second and there IS NO decision making, its an unavoidable given. It's cost me a huge amount in life. When in this state my goal is to win by 'going for the jugular'.

    • @christinavaldes7450
      @christinavaldes7450 8 дней назад

      @arabellacox Its the calm down for me. I understand.

    • @arabellacox
      @arabellacox 8 дней назад +2

      @christinavaldes7450 Oh yeah, that as well 'red rag to a bull!' 🤣

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 8 дней назад +1

      1)
      So being rude was a cardinal sin that made it so important.
      2)Or: all else would be lie, so it's not rude and calling it rude is a digressing on the part of the other, a denial of truth.
      3) being honest is dangerous and not well trained, so it comes out rude.
      This shames us and then we blow as caught being not yet able to express ourselves clearly, yet adequately.

    • @arabellacox
      @arabellacox 8 дней назад +1

      @annelbeab8124 yes, most definitely a 'cardinal sin' (father) - like answering back, disagreeing, having an opinion contrary to his.
      A member of staff in Asda called me "rude" the other week. She was shifting the focus from her onto me. I get what you're saying here.
      I was taken aback by how mad I felt, really angry. If i was a violent person I'd have hit her I was that angry!

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 7 дней назад +1

      @arabellacox I often was mad at being mad. As a kid I tried to throw anger down the stairs and over the balcony. I'm serious. It failed.
      The story was told in a funny way but ....

  • @passinthru4788
    @passinthru4788 17 дней назад +1

    Thank you so much for the insight, Mr Fletcher. I am so grateful I found you on this journey.

  • @helenenorman3598
    @helenenorman3598 17 дней назад +5

    Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪

  • @stringedassassin
    @stringedassassin 16 дней назад +2

    My god this is so me. I don't go picking fights, but I certainly look for them when I am at my worst. I hate it. It's not what I want to be.

  • @ellengriffin1547
    @ellengriffin1547 8 дней назад +1

    One of my earliest memories is when my dad told me, in my two older male siblings' presence: "You're angry aren't you?" He kept insisting. I was only 3 yrs old. He thought what he was doing was funny. I didn't know the psychology behind what he was doing. The implications is that its a mark of weakness to feel or experience ange, and that one is a failure for having experienced that or exposed that about yourself. . Having witnesses to him saying that backed, him up. You could say that they fell for being "usefull idiots" or for being his useful fooled fools. What is more appealing to kids in a narcissistic family system but to have some power or to be attracted to having power over another, indifferent tobthe others pain. A person (kid) getting angry is "proof," then, of guilt and terrible irredeemable weakness, "proof" that the "weaker" one is "not able" to be covered, and that covering denied them is also "proof" of their guilt and of shame that must becassigned them. The quilting and the shaming going together, part of the double bind, to keep the enjoyment of torture and overpower remaining alive to always ensure it is exposed to still be resurrected and alive within a second. To this day, the 3 siiblings in the middle don't see how invested they are in this. Sickly, they think their perverted narrative keeps them alive and strong. My anger, finally recognized as the alarm bell that something is very wrong and unsafe, I have constructively separated myself from those unsafe gaslighters who feed into my mind destructive beliefs. I will not put upbeat with what I used to put up with it. I will not allow them and their unwilling to stop indoctrination into my presence. I will not allow any of their entertainment, nor any of their devices within my sight, earshot, norpresence. They don't have permission tobenter nor cross my safe boundaries. I have definitely been learning i was trained to be codependent, to put up with nonsense, to believe those others had a right to do that nonsense that I couldn't define yet as nonsense. I thought I needed them and their "love. No. Things cannot be as we want them to be. I live well without them. This needs to be said. This is where healing begins and takes off.

  • @Karlien68
    @Karlien68 17 дней назад +2

    Ow yes...dang...I realised that I had and have anger issues.
    It was a cooping and defense mechanism for the deep pain underneath.
    And my mother was emotionally unavailable and was angry a lot.
    I am in program to deal with cptsd....it is heartbreaking how abused I was in relationships because I always thought I was to blame whilst my anger was a retriggering of deep trauma...
    Well...never to old to keep learning and becoming my authentic self.

  • @zkcud2858
    @zkcud2858 17 дней назад +6

    You reading my mind

  • @jtmacri1
    @jtmacri1 5 дней назад

    Dude opens up with exactly how I’ve always felt about my anger. Never ending supply. If I let myself get angry I’m terrified for what I may do. It worked great when I was in a gang. Not so good when I decided to be a “real person”. I still don’t feel like a real person and I hide myself away.
    Allan watts calls attraction/aversion as wowee/ugh. I finally gave up on ever being wowee to anyone. Full ugh for the masses. I’ll tell you in pretty tired of hating myself. I’m tired of being angry with myself because I’m to self loathing to be angry with people who hurt me. Hopefully some how my destitute ass figures out how to get some help before it’s too late.

  • @mikael2003
    @mikael2003 15 дней назад +4

    I have an intense anger and hatred for myself and people who took advantage of me. I was depressed and didnt stop people from stealing from me and using me. Ive tried so many times to forgive or forget but I just cant so now I have constant suicidal thoughts. Ive prayed so many times about this but God doesnt answer. Please advice me and pray for me!

  • @LyndaDixon-k9s
    @LyndaDixon-k9s 14 дней назад

    These words I NEEDED to hear. This issue hurts SOOO MUCH
    🥹🙏

  • @packetloss5297
    @packetloss5297 16 дней назад +2

    The greatest source of guilt and shame for me, is my grandfather forcing me participate in child sacrifice, I have a lot of triggers and a lot of anger. You nailed almost all of them.

    • @dancer20617
      @dancer20617 16 дней назад +1

      😞❤

    • @melissasue3328
      @melissasue3328 14 дней назад +1

      omg that's horrible. I'm sorry you went through that.

  • @emchammer1815
    @emchammer1815 17 дней назад +3

    This is why I stopped lashing out on facebook. Realized I had an anger problem. I still lash out here and there but it's definitely not as bad as when I was a 20 and 30 something. I just wish facebook didn't broadcast my messages to everyone putting my anger on full display. It's embarrassing and really ruins the social experience.

    • @stoneneils
      @stoneneils 17 дней назад

      You couldn't be that angry if you haven't been banned yet. I have been banned from every social media platforum innumerable times due to my anger and lack of impulse control. Thank god youtube gives us warnings now.

  • @Amirisphere
    @Amirisphere День назад

    At the beginning of this year, I was scammed out of thousands of money, someone came on my bathrag, my puppy died under someone else's watch, and right before all of this, my drug loving little brother ran away, came back, and threatened to hurt the family. On top of performing my best ALL the time because the people around me are lazy, I have to do so much more, and hear so much more for being older. I was already molested from 5 to 8, and that fucked me over because SA turned into PA when SA wouldn't work. My older brother scammed me through my whole life. I'm so burnt and angry, AND my grandmother passed away this year. I never saw her through my being 21 and this is the time where my life is getting worse. I'm grateful for it, but I'm so mad.

  • @EPSYchannel
    @EPSYchannel 12 дней назад

    This is so helpful and insightful!

  • @michaelgarrow3239
    @michaelgarrow3239 17 дней назад +2

    My true anger is dangerous. I have been in some dark places. I am not afraid of these places anymore.

    • @janetklumper6048
      @janetklumper6048 17 дней назад

      Please take good care of yourself❤️🙏😘

  • @KJW930
    @KJW930 6 дней назад

    For me, anger isn't something I was allowed to express as a child. I either got my Mom's wrath, or her reduce and mocking. I learned anger is to be stuffed, never exposed. I never learned how to resolve conflict is one result. I am a deeply shamed adult now 😢. For me anger is hurt, extreme hurt, sometimes the actions were intentional. intentional hurt. Anger is hurt with an attitude! 😢 I think this having to stuff my anger is one reason why I eat too much. It's my coping mechanism. The only time I didn't feel on edge, felt love from my family, my relatives, is while we were eating. This is so sad for me to realize this. That I was this abandoned. And those that noticed did not care enough to do anything to help me.

  • @AndreyMoskvichev
    @AndreyMoskvichev 14 дней назад

    Awesome video! I found interesting insights from it.

  • @Grateful4Grace777
    @Grateful4Grace777 15 дней назад

    My emotions are all over the board! Is that normal??? I feel like I'm losing it. One minute I'm crying, then angry at everyone, then angry and hate myself... My anger trigger right now is struggling hearing about personal accountability of my reactions and actions. Guess I wasn't ready for that step; I got it anyway. Now it's processing and accepting that tidbit of reality. I hope the hardest part is hearing about it...not changing it within. It hurts hearing it's my fault; big trigger...I'm a product of my environment that had long term verbal, physical, SA, neglect, abandonment. I was also the scapegoat and I was told often the abuse was my fault. So it triggers me to hear it's all me...but it's sinking in because it's true. I'm an adult now. I need to change my responses. Truth isn't always easy to hear. I'm slowly walking into the beginning of the healing process and it's already the scariest and faster emotional roller coaster I've ridden. My only guidance are videos. My anger outbursts started a few years ago and it was directed at my adult sons; which drove me to seek help. I also had a Chronic left cerebellar hemispheric lacunar infarction around the same time.

  • @nikia737
    @nikia737 7 дней назад

    totally.its been nasty living in pain nearly 50yrs.only past 12 has much come to light still fighting myself and others.im scared wjen im nt angry almost abnormal.so i isolate.n try to see what i can fix n where i need help rewireing my brain....raised in anger, told i was a waste n shud never have been born yet parentafied n denied a childs needs,im still a child im my mind in many ways

  • @briobarb8525
    @briobarb8525 15 дней назад

    You are so amazing! Thank you! ❤

  • @arabellacox
    @arabellacox 7 дней назад +1

    When I've been triggered, it's like an 'out of body' experience.

  • @birdlady2725
    @birdlady2725 10 дней назад

    I have SSRI syndrome where the meds cause debiltating and potentially deadly side effects.
    I was given a trial pack to take for a week. The first 2 days was great! The third day, I went from fine, to an uncontrollable rage! It Terrified Me! I had Zero Control!
    That physician told me to stop meds and to Never take again. Down the road, other doc prescribed some. I again had huge issues even on low dose! Doc said it was not the med.
    Pharmacist I told my experiences and he Adamantly told me to Never take SSRI's. Insurance company was calling me Non-compliant and was going to cancel my policy! I asked to speak to their pharmacist. She agreed with me and got the company to not cancel me!
    After this terrifying experience, I wonder how many other people on psych meds with severe side effects, are also getting gaslight or bullied into compliance, with detrimental effects?
    I do get triggered from childhood abuse and abuse by ex (possible psychopath), but I stuffed it down or it came out at the wrong people at the wrong time. But it is way diffrrent than the rage from meds.
    Thank you for your detailed help in such a touchy yet important topic like this!

  • @jasonmuise7496
    @jasonmuise7496 17 дней назад +1

    Funny reading the list. I have been angry as long as i can remember. I can remember it like yesterday i was about 9 or so and said Dad why am i so angry ? He said what do you mean ? I said i just feel like i could get so mad i would hurt someone. Look at my face as i pointed towards the mirror. It always has a mad look. I look mad all the time. Don't really remember his response. I have the facial lines to show it. But also the lines that show extreme joy and happiness. Never really understood having so much anger and love at the same time. Like i couldn't express the love i had so i raged instead but mostly internally. Now older, it seems to burp out way too much. Been searching for balance my whole life. 🙏

    • @tradslnd9872
      @tradslnd9872 16 дней назад +1

      @@jasonmuise7496 so interesting, have you looked into deliverance? That fact that you noticed it seems like it’s not part of your true identity

    • @jasonmuise7496
      @jasonmuise7496 16 дней назад

      @@tradslnd9872
      Not really but i will have to look now. I was an odd kid. Lol Observed odd things. Lived my life in a constant state of deja-vu. Always felt like 2 people like the Hulk or Dr Jekyll. Always a step ahead of others because of my powers of observation. Haha Just this "Venom" being attached to me. Keeps me safe, kinda sorta. And Deliverance is a good movie. 😂🚣🪕🪕🪕

  • @boriskaracic9856
    @boriskaracic9856 17 дней назад

    thank god this man exists

  • @bloohaus8670
    @bloohaus8670 15 дней назад

    I hate when I get triggered through anger... It is literally nano second. I spent a lot of time not having it show up, then boom overwhelming heating brain fog. The black rage, is so real. It snaps the framework of my mind, environment, and reality to the very worst possible situation. Then I react based off those feelings and fears, in a instant. I just started to learn how to feel it coming, or if it has overtaken me. Its really embarrassing as an adult man to have things from my childhood blindside me into an anger based response. The shame afterwards is so intense, physical, and exhausting. I also learned some people will take advantage of you being triggered, and your reaction and use that as a moral high ground. Even if you admit you were wrong, it gets held over your head the damage is done. Sometimes we need that, other times its just a really messed up manipulation thats based around your own mistakes and flaws. So its hard to know if its truly an issue with the person or they are pressing you to feel awful. Either way regulating your emotions is on you... even if something else triggers you.

    • @bloohaus8670
      @bloohaus8670 15 дней назад

      @TimFletcher-p9y Expect these nuts brother.

  • @zyxwut321
    @zyxwut321 13 дней назад

    Anger in and of itself is neutral. Taken to appropriate degrees and times, it's a beneficial survival mechanism. The problem is that it's cheap and easy fuel that isn't sustainable and productive and is completely DESTRUCTIVE when overly relied upon.
    Anger is often the result of imbalance, whether personally or societally. We live in a tremendously imbalanced society, one often far too reliant on dishonesty, hypocrisy, selfishness and cruelty. The more aware you become of these components of society, the more anger it can cause. It's so important to have proper support and coping strategies so that you can process those inherent imbalances and injustices without lashing out in all kinds of ways, most of them inappropriately. Rebalancing oneself in the midst of building injustices is key to survival.

  • @Everythingismeaningless344
    @Everythingismeaningless344 17 дней назад +8

    I used to deny being angry. Then I thought anger was an unacceptable emotion. Now, I just embrace the anger. I was mentally, physically, and spiritually abused all of my life. I think I deserve to be angry. The rest of my family deny their anger, and the vast majority of them have autoimmune issues bc of their suppressed rage. Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.

  • @Star-dj1kw
    @Star-dj1kw 17 дней назад +4

    ❤❤ excellent.

  • @Doug-r5p
    @Doug-r5p 17 дней назад +4

    My anger gets so extreme that i think eventually i will take my own life while in the rage. The cPTSD has already taken my life anyhow.

    • @Channy11-z2b
      @Channy11-z2b 17 дней назад +1

      Please reach out for help. You are worth it. Your pain is real. I understand ❤

    • @janetklumper6048
      @janetklumper6048 17 дней назад +2

      I agree, please let somebody help you, call the help line or talk to someone you know!!!! Please dont do something you cannot get back from, i pray for you😢😮🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️

    • @am_db111
      @am_db111 17 дней назад

      you are worth the support you deserve. i hope you find someone who is able to be your safe space that will lead to your healing-amen.

    • @Puuws
      @Puuws 17 дней назад

      get yourself help, you need to help yourself instead of punish /abbandon yourself♡

  • @grantrogers1858
    @grantrogers1858 16 дней назад +10

    Anger is not bad. God gets angry. Better to be slow to anger than have 0 capacity for anger.

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 14 дней назад +1

      Oh I've been slow but after years of abuse from my wife I got no patience anymore

    • @gondwanaland9
      @gondwanaland9 13 дней назад +1

      @@smokingcrab2290 leave her dude

  • @jHarris-id1yd
    @jHarris-id1yd 15 дней назад

    That is a great prayer that God will answer, when we ask for help to forgive those who hurt us. He did it for me when I asked because I couldn't do it without His help.

  • @izabelamagierska5457
    @izabelamagierska5457 17 дней назад

    Is it just some part of a longer episode about anger? If so, which one, please?

    • @TimFletcher
      @TimFletcher  17 дней назад +2

      Yes! You can see the full lecture link in the description, and here: ruclips.net/user/livekaku_qI_GYI?si=8HRuvUe3JVwhoBKQ

    • @izabelamagierska5457
      @izabelamagierska5457 17 дней назад

      @TimFletcher Thanks Tim, I do appreciate your response.
      Love from Poland 😘

  • @pamelapalmer2832
    @pamelapalmer2832 12 дней назад

    I don't even have a second to think about it. I seclude myself due to fear for the public and for fear of losing my freedom. I hate it.

  • @Rose-cl1nn
    @Rose-cl1nn 8 дней назад

    I always think up scenarios of arguments that haven't happened and I find myself getting upset and arguing with my thoughts it's crazy

  • @christopherlyman1486
    @christopherlyman1486 17 дней назад

    I was angry with him after he did it. I won't say I wake up angry. In a different example, Carla, a neighbor friend, asked for help with delivering food to people. I accepted and helped. The way Carla talks at me doesn't make me angry at first. At first, it horrifies me. Then anger happens. Because, when you're defenseless, you get tired of it. Anger can be expressed differently from the sadness of being around ugly behavior. Being horrified turns into sadness. Then, as sadness becomes too much, it gets converted to anger. This conversion is dangerous. I decided not to show my anger. Because that could alter my relationship with Carla. That's very dangerous. But I was pretty steamed. I didn't enjoy it. I managed to remain calm. I was horrified all the way through. As far as I know, Carla is okay. I don't need to make a destructive and stupid decision about Carla. Because that makes the sadness worse. Then the anger will get worse. That's where I am with it. Talking nonsense on Carla is also horrifying. I'm fine without it. This person's suffering isn't what I need.

  • @de_minek
    @de_minek 7 дней назад

    Thanks for talking about me

  • @heartwisdomlove
    @heartwisdomlove 10 дней назад

    Alexander Lowen has written many books on bioenergetics that teach how to express anger in a safe healthy way and feel anger and love anger as a spiritual vitality
    John Pierrakos created a type of therapy called core energetics that explains the healing powers of anger

  • @MonogoMango
    @MonogoMango 16 дней назад +1

    Well, I do have problems others told me that I have but I never had any of those issues before those people spoke to me so therefore they're wrong. I don't have anger issues. I have issues with emotional reactivity and I need to respond slower and control my reaction. The anger isn't the issue, it's what I do and how I react to it. Therefore emotional reactivity is the issue. In other words, it's not an anger issue whatsoever.
    Can he please explain how I went from 2017 to 2024 with zero triggers or anger issues whatsoever and this happens sometimes in periods that are triggered by one event out of which I often assume other people start deliberately bullying me therefore making them being the problem. Then it solves itself in a few months. I also went from a child when issues developed 😢trauma developed like 20 years with only one incident in school. Meaning that the problem is always a few other people and groups, just to say it clearly. It not even nearly everyone. It's never everyone. I make a mistake, then a few people deliberately keep me at a heightened state of stress and anxiety on purpose and after a few months it quiets down and those people return to normal and I return to normal. Therefore I'm not the problem. It's always someone saying something to which I need to learn to not reply quickly out of trauma so I don't get anyone else to notice I have trauma and literally everyone can live their lives like normal.
    Plus my guilt and anger are not related if there has to be a correlation between anger and a substance abuse. That guilt part is not related to anything. Or at least using something is not related to anything. I never get angry because of that. He said the guilt was related to anger which happens but I don't understand how substances are related to anything in this in my situation anyway.
    Is a scientist angry when he explains his theory even if it's to refute some other theory? Most likely he isn't.

  • @HealthyPersuit-sj3fr
    @HealthyPersuit-sj3fr 17 дней назад +2

    Soon as I do something stupid I hate myself

    • @janetklumper6048
      @janetklumper6048 17 дней назад +3

      Dont do that, we all do stupid things, it is called life❤

  • @AMessageKeeper
    @AMessageKeeper 13 дней назад

    I've learnt I have an ability to self control. I'm not helpless. I was wild. Backed into corners. Fears. Unskilled. Its there, like a lurking demon.
    It's been a long time learning within the short term counsel of incremental therapy.
    CPTSD is not a common knowledgeable understanding, here in NZ, yet there are child to adult suffering in the multitudes within our population.
    Some of our medical health professionals will not acknowledge CPTSD . PTSD in NZ is recognised fully. It became more officially known, that is PTSD with the ChCh earthquakes. And CPTSD gets lumped into the same therapeutic counsel of support agency. Australia does acknowledge the differences. Here in NZ, no.
    It prevents proper care and healthy populaces.
    I was 16 yrs old when diagnosed with Stockholm syndrome at 19 yrs diagnosed with ptsd and ocd, by two seperate senior psychologists at different times. Their reports were never integrated.
    Commonality in barriers to access healing and therapeutic counsel.
    This needs to change, right away. Legal health care changes by Govts.

  • @lunkerjunkie
    @lunkerjunkie 15 дней назад

    angry at myself for not being what you want.
    10, 10, 6.
    I'm already angry, I'm just using you as an excuse to express it.

  • @beatsbyjoeezy1440
    @beatsbyjoeezy1440 17 дней назад +3

    My life right now few days I’m ok I can handle it some days i just can’t

    • @janetklumper6048
      @janetklumper6048 17 дней назад +1

      Just take it day by day and bless the days that are good d❤

  • @Yekim76
    @Yekim76 13 дней назад

    "I'm losing it!" George Costanza

  • @D.Roxane11
    @D.Roxane11 8 дней назад

    Yes the rush is addictive

  • @Ben_Dover753
    @Ben_Dover753 16 дней назад

    It's like a mosquito bite - It's either itchy or becomes itchy because you scratch it or you don't.

  • @waynec369
    @waynec369 10 дней назад

    Nothing angers me more than someone spending my time to make a point and abruptly stopping in the middle of it, not finishing it.

  • @zacharysmith5947
    @zacharysmith5947 10 дней назад

    Interesting...assualted by police, licence taken, for 15 years, no trial, no path to resolution, yet I have nearly clean driving record over 50 years. It is way beyond the complex trauma you have described. Institutional abuse is much worse than any abuse that one single individual can do to another. I need an expert witness and legal assistance. They are trying to kill me! They are succeeding. They should bring charges if they are going to continue their abuse.

  • @mahatmadoo2566
    @mahatmadoo2566 10 дней назад

    I hate my anger so much.

  • @viciousbeauty
    @viciousbeauty 9 дней назад

    I have cPTSD and am just coming to the relization that I have anger issues at 40 years old. :/

  • @myhalowithin
    @myhalowithin 17 дней назад +2

    Therapist: "You exhibit anger issue's."
    Patient: "We'll see about that!"
    Note: Thank You Sir.

  • @heartwisdomlove
    @heartwisdomlove 10 дней назад

    what is with all of the devil horn hand gestures?
    (I always wonder about that)

  • @cengizmertdindar7609
    @cengizmertdindar7609 8 дней назад

    if anger is my sadness? is it possible? because whenever i feel happy i'll find something that upset me and not just finding but creating, disappointing partner just because i want to but i want to make me and my partner happy both happy but i do the opposite and make both of us unhappy and very next hours i feel guilt, miserable, feeling like shit, doesnt worth anything and because of this self sabotage i lost 2 love of my life. i literally lost 2 love that might be my wife and im crying all the time and thinking what if i do the right how i could be happy(and ofcourse my partner too)...

  • @n8works
    @n8works 11 дней назад

    I'm only angry at myself for standing by as the world descended into insanity.

  • @fetafox
    @fetafox 16 дней назад

    portage ave? is this guy from winnipeg?

  • @smokingcrab2290
    @smokingcrab2290 14 дней назад

    How can you not be angry if someone cheats on you? Why am I responsible for the anger others cause?

    • @sunnybein1
      @sunnybein1 12 дней назад

      No one is saying you can’t be angry ..you’ve been lied to..however you have ‘choice’ and you are responsible for your choices.You have the choice to react or not and to process healthy anger not destructive or toxic anger..which ultimately will only hurt you again.

  • @Sunbirdfl
    @Sunbirdfl 8 дней назад

    No no no… I’m not an anger junky I’m wondering if a person keeps triggering my anger and knows it why doesn’t he just stop the trigger effect. I abhorred the anger feeling but he baits me into it so he can look good…. He is the sick one ….. Good try But since he will not leave I’m lock into this rollercoaster ride of anger. Oh PS he has no boundaries …

  • @richardtaylor6341
    @richardtaylor6341 15 дней назад

    So, my problem is that I believe society sees ANY anger as an anger issue...no don't love anyone or I'll say you have a love issue. It's kinda invalidating an emotion....

  • @godcorrodedgod
    @godcorrodedgod 17 дней назад +2

    I think he is talking about me, as I was, from 5 6 years of age...

    • @TikTokHub-u8f
      @TikTokHub-u8f 17 дней назад +3

      same and they called me crazy lmfao

  • @leobender2910
    @leobender2910 8 дней назад

    RUclips is unwatchable with all the ads these days

  • @prestidigitization
    @prestidigitization 12 дней назад

    Magma.
    Magma is subsurface and unexposed. Lava is what people see from a volcano.

  • @fishyclouds
    @fishyclouds 12 дней назад

    Yeah my family just doesn't understand. They acted act like I'm only that wss effected from our adverse family.

  • @anthonyflores6494
    @anthonyflores6494 13 дней назад

    Hi

  • @4xzx4
    @4xzx4 16 дней назад

    I get angry at online games where teammates are involved.

  • @NatalieCarter-fr5lh
    @NatalieCarter-fr5lh 8 дней назад

    Am ANGRY AT STAPLES AND PAPER CLIPS

  • @Heart-Core
    @Heart-Core 12 дней назад +1

  • @stoneneils
    @stoneneils 17 дней назад

    What anger issues...i was only arrested in June once and then had the cops called on me twice since..while on probation...don't tell me I have anger issues lol.

  • @juliaklymenko195
    @juliaklymenko195 16 дней назад

    And what do you do with that lava anger?

  • @NDEStories-English
    @NDEStories-English 4 дня назад

    I just found out I'm a volcano 😵‍💫

  • @michaelsantinon8231
    @michaelsantinon8231 4 дня назад

    Anger is underrated, and is an emotion that is actually continuously feed into our minds subconsciously via many avenues,. Actually talking about it does absolutely nothing, anger can be funny or destructive..try to laugh it off, just like this nonsense..

  • @SaveTheChildrenWorldwide
    @SaveTheChildrenWorldwide 16 дней назад

    Not really

  • @Turtle-RR
    @Turtle-RR 3 дня назад

    Be angry and sin not. "GOD"
    choose peace over anger.
    You can't have peace Angry.

  • @userresuh
    @userresuh 16 дней назад

    Aha, ininimum WAGE is good. It's got nothing to do with RAGE

  • @touchao
    @touchao 10 дней назад

    I'm angry because this video is but a few aimless, fragmented ideas that are removed from context

  • @SaveTheChildrenWorldwide
    @SaveTheChildrenWorldwide 16 дней назад

    You are wrong

  • @paulasynjohnson
    @paulasynjohnson 17 дней назад

    Your explanations are too simple, eveyone is different

    • @coachcastle666
      @coachcastle666 17 дней назад

      Including intelligence, he has many many more elaborate videos on this topic, this is a 8 min clip

  • @lukei6255
    @lukei6255 12 дней назад

    He is American. It is just blah blah blah and not true.

  • @daniellesomerfield8799
    @daniellesomerfield8799 16 дней назад

    Rage is a work of religion, it comes with division and hate; not the fruit of The Spirit:
    The worship of idols, witchcraft, hate, contention, rivalry, rage, insolence, dissensions, divisions, Gal. 5:20 Aramaic