Addressing Trauma-Fueled Jealousy- with Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD
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- Опубликовано: 6 апр 2023
- Get the latest strategies on treating trauma in the short course: "How to Ease Damaging Patterns of Jealousy and Envy" with Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD and a multitude of other experts: www.nicabm.com/program/jealou...
How can we help clients who struggle with jealousy that stems from attachment trauma?
This can be a painful experience for your client, who may feel guilty, ashamed, and confused by their jealous emotions. They may not even understand why they’re feeling jealous.
In this video, Ruth Lanius, MD, PhD shares how she worked with one client whose trauma-induced jealousy was activated by the loving care she witnessed toward one of her grandchildren.
Plus, Ruth will describe how she approached the feelings of shame and self-blame this client experienced from her jealous reaction.
The full blog can be found at www.nicabm.com/?del=YTOrganic...
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I feel that every time as soon as I see a baby/small child with her loving mother.
I can totally relate to this. Its also embarrassing because i get jealous of my dog, i know what the heck. The ridiculousness of it helped me though to start working through my trauma.
I can totally identify that jealousy and envy can arise at times and really challenge me to hold myself in understanding and compassion for what I didn't get. No matter my age it continues to occur and I embrace this as a healthier growing me. Thanks 🙏
IT'S IMPORTANT TO TELL PEOPLE EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT ,🤔😉😋😎😍😘🤗😏🎸🎹🎙🎼 NEED ,& FAILED TO GET.😢😢😢
I do feel inferior a little sad but not that jealous. It's maybe subtle I have awearness to change that Then I can remind myself nothing wrong about me. I'm lovable. But I do understand it's normal to feel that jealousy. Thanks you so much.
I had the same experience with an ex partner who has a little bit younger than me, who when she shared her past experiences with me, having a great chance to blossom and develop as a human through having a really for filling childhood/younger life and all the grounding that comes with that, For a long time I couldn't understood why I felt all this jealousy and invalidation, and I wasn't able to resolve that within the course of short relationship and lead to a breakdown in our connection, having had lots of time to reflect and process that experience, and come out of the blame and shaming of myself, this video and this wonderful enlightening information is one step further helping me to release that burden of the past and redirect my energy into loving myself! Thank you so much
OMG, this video just got me crying right now. Thank you. My experience was the opposite. My son at 1 yr old was confined in the hospital for some I couldn’t approached him while he was in distress to hold him, soothe him. I was paralyzed. I was so ashamed never told anyone about that day but remained in me. I’ve been a very emotionally distant mother and I couldn’t figure it out not until I was writing a college paper about types of parenting etc. I knew something is off. It was a flashback of a scene between my mother’s interaction with my sister that led me to this journey. It was a scene where they were my mother was attuned with my sister and I was standing looking at them with intense feelings of jealousy. The saddest part was when she turned around and saw rather than inviting me in to join them she yelled at me. I was heartbroken. There were times that I will sleep embracing my mother’s clothes. I just wanted to be loved. I confronted her about how she treated 4 years ago and again last year but rather than saying sorry she made herself the victim and told all my siblings so when I visited. As soon as I walked into the door I immediately felt the indifference they have towards me. I glanced at my mother’s she quickly looked down as if she knows something. That “family reunion” resulted in me confronting everyone else. I was angry. Thank you for your insight. I have to reparent my inner child.
NOW, YOU GET TO RE-PARENT**) THAT INNER CHILD.🤗😍🤗😍🤗😘😘😘😇💪🤞✌🤘🤙👊🙏🙏🙏..DESPITE WHAT YOUR MOM OR DAD DID OR DIDN'T DO 😢😢😢🙏🙏🙏🙏💖💜🧡💛💚💙💓💟💌💖
GLAD YOU REALREALIZED YOU NEED TO RE- PARENT YOUR INNER CHILD❤❤❤❤❤
Christine this reminds me of a Ted talk on RUclips given by a man who was so critical of himself. He finally realized that he would never let anyone speak to his daughter the way he spoke to himself. He nearly cried when he said he had to learn to treat himself properly. (I'm guessing that better self care would help a person be a better parent to their children.) Everyone's experience is different.
I felt so much of that as I read your story. I am so, so sorry and sorry your siblings bought into the BS as well... Seems to be some serious lack of empathy. Unhealed issues with trauma/authority tends to lead that person to have toxic authority patterns later in life when they have power (so in this case, your mother).
How did it go with your conversations with family that weekend? Anything good come of it?
So sorry you had this shitty family dynamics. Praying you find post traumatic healing and the two way love, support you need.
This was so helpful. thank you I struggle with getting jealous anytime I see my boyfriend and his family together. It reminds me of the family I never had but have always wanted and at times, I feel I project my insecurities onto my boyfriend and his family. I realize it's not fair, but it is hard to change that mindset. Thank you for sharing!
I read once that jealousy may be a form of . I thought that was it an interesting perspective.
I should be feeling that way, but I absolutely do not. I have other issues though.
I wonder if the client realized that her daughter learned those maternal feelings and skills from somewhere- possibly from herself! Which suggests that she was able to do better for her daughter than what she experienced with her own mother. If so, good job Grandma.
This is what's wrong with the world.