there's a lot we need to talk about and i'm really really scared lol

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  • Опубликовано: 25 июл 2024
  • Heyyy friends. Firstly I just wanna say thank you all for sticking around and for all the nice messages asking about where I've been lately. Secondly I want to apologise for the fact that I haven't regularly posted for the longest time and just kind of left you guys in the dark about a load of things, but hopefully you can understand why this update was quite difficult to film/post and why it's taken me so long. I genuinely just want to have a fresh start with everything again and I've been managing to do that with my 'real' life behind the scenes, but I haven't felt like I've been able to dive into creating content again without at least giving you guys some kind of explaination.
    It's been a rough couple of years! And there's definitely some things in my life that still need ironing out (adulting is the worst) but I truly do feel like I'm in the best place that I've been for a long time and I'm just so ready (well..not ready, but ready enough lol) to just build on that again. Even if we've never spoken or met, you guys genuinely mean so much to me and I basically feel like I've just been a really bad internet pal as of late and I'm sorry. But I'm not going anywhere! I'm gonna be 87 years old with 7 face lifts, still chatting away to a camera I'm sure.
    Obviously now it's just me doing all of this it might take me a couple weeks to get back into a full routine of filming, editing and uploading, but I can't wait to get stuck back in to making content again like the good old days. I'm hopefully (as long as it all goes to plan) working on a new series for this channel that I hope you'll love. It's gonna be something quite different but it should be a lot of fun and hey, if it flops then WE MOVE! I just wanna create fun/inspiring/entertaining content for you guys and hopefully we can figure it all out together. I've missed you, I love you and thank you again for being so patient and just fantastic internet mates. Here's to doing this all togeva 🥂
    (Jeez I'm nervous about posting this hahah but YOLOOOO)
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    W1F 9EE

Комментарии • 1,5 тыс.

  • @stephanietoms
    @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +581

    Guys I am genuinely OVERWHELMED (in a good way for once hahah) with all the comments and love. I took 20 minutes out to have a cup of tea and 3 bags of crisps (#eatclean) and came back to so many comments that I can't even keep up with replying! But I'm gonna do my best to respond to every single one 💖 thank you all so so much. It definitely feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I know I wasn't ready before, but this is all something I should have done so much sooner because the responses and support has honestly shocked me. Like I knew you guys were KOOOOOL but wow ur all rly rly cool. I dunno what else to say but I really do feel like this is the start of a new chapter with a lot of things and I can't thank you enough for sticking around and just making me feel so loved tonight. Love you all xxx

    • @niamhgibson2932
      @niamhgibson2932 Месяц назад +3

      Love you xxxx

    • @inesmartins7854
      @inesmartins7854 Месяц назад +5

      Ok... I'm very sorry for your lost Steph 😢 I genuinely didn't knew all of that. When it comes to you, being offline for a few months... well I have to be honest... I didn't forget you, you are my favorite influencer and I still love you and suport you and I'm always anxious for a new video. And I'm 100% sure that your grandparents and your Mom are insanely PROUD of you. Big kiss from Portugal 🇵🇹 and we are here for you, every time you need

    • @charlottedownes3790
      @charlottedownes3790 Месяц назад +2

      U are amazing ❤

    • @inesmartins7854
      @inesmartins7854 Месяц назад +5

      Modest opinion... you are beautiful, strong, inteligente, funny... so we are here because you are one of us Steph, because we love you and nerds never leave one of their own behind, so we will never leve you behind

    • @jordanwig1
      @jordanwig1 Месяц назад +1

  • @niamhgibson2932
    @niamhgibson2932 Месяц назад +452

    There’s so many RUclipsrs out there with the fancy setups and cameras and doing makeup… they aren’t you! We watch you for you!

    • @sammypayne07
      @sammypayne07 Месяц назад +1

      👏🏻

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +37

      aw man why has thissss comment made me almost well up! thank you so so much babe xx

    • @kimboyd2549
      @kimboyd2549 Месяц назад +5

      I know what you mean when you pull away. I close myself off as well. Thank you for coming to us. I will be an ear to listen. Mental health is something we all deal with and I am glad that their are people like you who help others in ways you may not know.

    • @liya_xx
      @liya_xx Месяц назад

      Exactly! I'm not into make up that much, I just love her, the calmness that comes from her and her voice 🤭

    • @courtneylia7383
      @courtneylia7383 Месяц назад

      ​@@stephanietomsAnd that is exactly why we love you 😊💛

  • @amy_333
    @amy_333 Месяц назад +146

    this is why you’re successful - because of your authenticity & honesty. we love you no matter what queen, sending you so much love 🤍🤍

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +4

      ohhh my love thank you so so much xx

  • @nickyleng6917
    @nickyleng6917 Месяц назад +83

    I've never commented before on your videos, I'm 62 year old woman who likes make up but rarely wears it. So why do I watch your content? Simply because of your authenticity as a person. I'm so pleased to hear you say that you are realising that you are enough. Chant it like a mantra to yourself everyday, because YOU ARE ENOUGH! You have experienced so much loss and grief in such a short time, and yet here you are, unafraid to be vulnerable and that, darling woman, takes true, deep strength.

    • @staceysteinhart1359
      @staceysteinhart1359 Месяц назад

      I fully agree. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You are so authentic. That’s why 500k people follow you.

  • @MaxineGeorgina
    @MaxineGeorgina Месяц назад +286

    Steph I'm a silent watcher but I've had to comment today. I'm a 54 year old woman who was full of self hate from a young age just like you. Bullied for looking nerdy (glasses and big teeth) in 2020 during lockdown I started my RUclips channel. It's a tiny channel compared to yours only 4.5k subscribers so far but I keep going because like you I've realised people actually like me for me and its a nice feeling isn't it. You steph are beautiful funny talented and the world is definitely your oyster. We are all here for you and always will be. I know this video was tough for you sweetheart but trust me when I say things can only get better. You are quite a bit younger than me but your videos helped inspire me to start RUclips so thank you for that and thank you for just being you. Sending you lots of love positive vibes and blessings for what's to come. ❤❤❤❤

    • @mllekatrin
      @mllekatrin Месяц назад +1

      🫶🏻

    • @Martina010
      @Martina010 Месяц назад +1

    • @mrussell3264
      @mrussell3264 Месяц назад +1

      OOOh...I'm coming up for 50 in July so have subscribed to your channel too, I only just found Steph's!! @steph that's a lot to go through at such a young age and we all make mistakes at any age, you've got yourself together from that, now you've dusted yourself off and gotten back out there, it takes guts especially to come back to social media and being an influencer, good luck girl ❤

    • @tashaleeman
      @tashaleeman Месяц назад +1

      Subscribed ❤

    • @MaxineGeorgina
      @MaxineGeorgina Месяц назад

      @@tashaleeman thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

  • @wondrousjaguar8907
    @wondrousjaguar8907 Месяц назад +72

    Came for the makeup, stayed for Steph…. Self acceptance is so difficult and i commend you for laying it bare. I adore you! Have for years. You (and itssabbrina) are the only makeup girlie i follow.. for the makeup initially… now I rarely even wear makeup.. but im still watching you!! Proud of you and so is your mum xxx

  • @Gallusticket
    @Gallusticket Месяц назад +25

    Maaaaate, I feel like you are the wee English ADHD counterpart to my huge, autistic Scottish ass except you HAVE the balls to do this. My chest hurts from watching this because I’ve been through everything you’ve been through too, you are a fkn champ for putting in the work and coming back vulnerable but stronger and more determined than before. You are an inspiration and I’m sure I speak for many of your followers when I say I’ll be watching and supporting the Toms no matter what. Unless you become a light coverage/skin tint girly, that’s where I draw the line ❤️

  • @user-hy9mu4dg5v
    @user-hy9mu4dg5v Месяц назад +20

    I wish you could see yourself through your viewer's eyes. You are the reason I watch RUclips. Your videos make me happy,and have helped me through the last six years since I had my stroke. You are such a beautiful person inside and out.

  • @alexandrarix3573
    @alexandrarix3573 Месяц назад +75

    Can confirm I just like you. And I’ve liked you for years. And I’ll continue to like you for years. And if you pop off for a bit then come back - I’ll watch and I’ll still like you. And I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that there’s no pressure from us to show up 100% of the time or to be 100% consistent.

  • @emmagrant689
    @emmagrant689 Месяц назад +106

    "There's gunna be a lot of tangents "
    The adhd side quests 🤣🤣🤣 (I'm still watching but I did giggle at that) xx

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +11

      hahah LITERALLY!! everything i do/say takes 5 times longer i swear because of the tangents 😂

    • @emmagrant689
      @emmagrant689 Месяц назад +2

      @stephanietoms 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you're not alone my friend!

    • @daisyo.6666
      @daisyo.6666 Месяц назад +3

      ADHD squad unite!

    • @ebeb657
      @ebeb657 Месяц назад +1

      Omg! There was a reason I loved your vids. ADHD peeps seemed to find each other. Diagnosed 6 months ago and it’s a ride!!!!! Welcome back. We missed you!

    • @emmagrant689
      @emmagrant689 Месяц назад

      @@ebeb657 we're packs ✌🏻 I am 8 months diagnosed 🫶🏻

  • @annabel5411
    @annabel5411 Месяц назад +12

    I can see at the end of the video how PHYSICALLY relieved you look for getting everything off of your chest. You’re such an inspiration.

  • @mandyhonline
    @mandyhonline Месяц назад +4

    Thank you so much for being honest and open ❤ I'm so sorry for everything you've been through.

  • @darchangel8675309
    @darchangel8675309 Месяц назад +151

    The reason I started watching you is because you’re hilarious, you’re smart, snarky, and self-aware. Those traits are *you*, Steph.
    Before the 4K camera, before the brand deals, before the ultra boujee PR-there is, was, and always will be you.
    I remember watching you put on bright blue eye shadow with Primark palettes, and that Steph is the Steph I’m still rocking with years later. 💜

  • @sammypayne07
    @sammypayne07 Месяц назад +101

    Im a silent watcher, and I can confirm I do watch the videos for makeup. But let's be real, we come for the makeup but stay for the personality.
    To add to the list of clichés, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... right?
    I'm sorry to hear that life has shit on you from a great height for many years. And never apologies for the way you feel. Your feelings are just as valid as anyones. Never compare your struggle to anyone elses. You are valid. You are enough.
    I hope it is all on the up from here. Girl, you deserve it. Love ya lots. Xx

    • @lindasalfen7879
      @lindasalfen7879 Месяц назад

      Ohh don't - I can't tell you how many times I have heard that - :( lol

  • @uhmmmm411
    @uhmmmm411 Месяц назад +1

    You are so strong ❤ I cant wait to see what's next for you! You've inspired me to start working on a few things for myself again after being in a hole too.. thank you for being so open and genuine, I've always loved your personality over everything 🥰

  • @crystalcoates
    @crystalcoates Месяц назад +11

    Legitimately, the way you speak about life topics and balance your thoughts and feelings is the most relatable thing I’ve heard from someone, in a way I’ve never really heard from someone else before. Like being scared of nothing but everything at the same time? It’s hard to explain but internet friends can be like, such a significant part of making you feel less weird and okay about yourself. So this was a great video! Hope the cockroaching keeps on the roll 🐾

  • @TheOriginalBethan
    @TheOriginalBethan Месяц назад +25

    My opinion isn't worth much, but I found your videos like 8 years ago when I was overwhelmed and lonely at uni. Idk who I really am a lot of time, I get you there, but I know you're my comfort videos. What other YTer would apply makeup with nuggets???
    Looking forward to where you take your videos. You're a legend, thank you for adding light to some dark times x

  • @michellex999
    @michellex999 Месяц назад +18

    I’ve been watching you for years when you only had a few hundred subs, and I’m still excited when I see you posting. I am so proud to see the woman you became and seeing the woman you are becoming. You’re real and I really appreciate that. Thank you for being you!

  • @ktjbudgie1114
    @ktjbudgie1114 Месяц назад +18

    I don’t care what you post, I just enjoy your content because of your personality. I’ve been watching you since 2014 and every time I see a new upload I click straight away. Love all the way from an Aussie ADHDer.

  • @beckiimlach3248
    @beckiimlach3248 Месяц назад +1

    A lot of what you talked about, I am still going through. Thank you for your honesty, and I know that when you make your brand you’ll do a banging highlight 😊

  • @lilmissfloyd
    @lilmissfloyd Месяц назад +11

    So refreshing to hear someone be so honest about these things. Really brave of you to open up about all of this. Id personally watch/listen to whatever you do ❤ x

  • @ejmsj94
    @ejmsj94 Месяц назад +3

    I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all this and fair play for sharing with us! I don’t often comment on RUclips however I really appreciate videos like this as it helps us all realise that shit happens to all of us! Also been through a lot of loss in life as many have and it can feel so isolating. You’re doing an amazing job, I find you really relatable and enjoyable to watch so what ever you choose to do I’m certain we will all be here cheering you on ❤

  • @AumendJoy5962
    @AumendJoy5962 Месяц назад +2

    I started watching you because I've felt like I could relate to your natural rambling, thoughts, ideas and even your comment a few years ago about wearing interesting T-shirts just to create a conversation starter in a public setting. It was a lovely idea and it helped me relax and you've given new perspectives on things about life in general bc you're so kind and you almost think the way I do and it makes watching your videos so relatable and comforting. Thank you.

  • @nicolebester7486
    @nicolebester7486 Месяц назад +1

    I just recently found you and I have to say your humor and cheeky commentary I find so refreshing in a world where every influencer says the same exact thing… you are real and honest and down to earth , just the fact that you are willing to let us all in and share this super vulnerable part of you shows how genuine you are and how you are desperate to relate to all of us…. I celebrate your bravery and transparency and respect the hell out of you for that!!! As a late in life adhd -er as well thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone in my crazy feelings as well …. Your inspirational gurl #follower4life❤

  • @hannahwaring6281
    @hannahwaring6281 Месяц назад +6

    I love how relatable you are and how real you are. I am so unbelievably sorry for everything you have been through. Just remember it’s ok to laugh when something is funny and cry when you’re sad.
    Your Poundland video is my go to when I need to laugh, that foundation shade and your facial expressions genuinely never fail to make me absolutely howl 😂.
    Love you lots mate x

  • @hannahpearce4241
    @hannahpearce4241 Месяц назад +8

    Silent watcher! Cornish gal, 39 and love your videos! I lost my mum 3 years ago and felt every word you said. It’s wonderful to hear you being so honest and looking after yourself x

  • @jessicalowe-ic3zi
    @jessicalowe-ic3zi Месяц назад +2

    So much respect for you posting this & going into so much depth, i can relate to a lot of this & you speaking out has opened my eyes and put things into perspective, we all love u so much honestly ❤❤❤

  • @suzannecarden4330
    @suzannecarden4330 Месяц назад +1

    Good on you girl! ❤ You’re magnificent 😊 what a warrior to be able to pick yourself back up after going through all that. Looking forward to seeing what the future brings for you xxx

  • @grendels-mother
    @grendels-mother Месяц назад +14

    Joining the rest in sending a lot of love beforehand before watching the full video. Thank you for your honesty and great vibes over all these years and I can only hope the good things will find you again soon as well 🫶

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +1

      thank you so so much! honestly overwhelmed by all da lurveee xxx

  • @Hfin1072
    @Hfin1072 Месяц назад +8

    As someone who is recently diagnosed with ADHD and recently lost a close relative, you are like a superhero in my eyes for making it here!!
    You are such a strong, wonderful human bean. Not only from the shite youve waded through but for opening up about said shite wading. Not a single thing in this world lasts forever, not the stars in the sky or the flowers on the ground. The bad times will pass, sad memories will eventually bring a smile to your face and dreams will come true that you havent even thought of yet. Reach for the sky sweet angel, it may be a bumpy journey but its your journey! I bet your mum would be so proud; being vulnerable and making yourself open to the INTERNET, come on, whats more bad ass than that.
    And p.s. id watch you all day, any day, doing absolutely fuck all 🤍✨

  • @poppinpinkchampagne4948
    @poppinpinkchampagne4948 Месяц назад +1

    gosh i love your strength!!! you’re only a few months older than me and i thought i had it bad but omg my heart aches for you. i cried so much watching this :: sending love to you and your family ♡ and wishing them alll so much happiness and peace and comfort ♥️

  • @user-jg1rf1nn8j
    @user-jg1rf1nn8j Месяц назад +2

    You are definitely ENOUGH! I love watching you because I learn new things (57 years old) and I laugh my ass off! I'm so sorry you've gone through so much, but also very happy and proud for you! Love from Texas, USA

  • @hannahreynolds179
    @hannahreynolds179 Месяц назад +9

    I'm in my 40s and you make me laugh every time I watch you. Seeing you just be yourself is very refreshing. That includes you trying to do your job while everything's burning. I think most of us can relate to that.
    There's no need to know where you're at. Endless possibilities never stop feeling scary but this whole process will be worth it 😘

  • @samanthanellist7252
    @samanthanellist7252 Месяц назад +8

    I would love to see vlogs and Pokémon card openings 🙌🏻 tbh I just enjoy watching you, not really fussed what the content is

  • @Racheel24
    @Racheel24 Месяц назад +1

    Literally love you so much, watched you for years and always felt a connection with what you were saying. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and lost my mum 15 years ago now. You are an inspiration and I see a lot of myself in what you say ♥️♥️ thank you

  • @serenaconnollyy
    @serenaconnollyy Месяц назад

    so so proud of you. i used to watch the lockdown twitch streams, i’m so here for it returning !!! need to see you on sims, supermarket simulator and minecraft asap. also i’d love to see some fashion content too, hauls, chatty get ready with me kinda vibes. take your time, we will be waiting patiently.

  • @wilhelmina3433
    @wilhelmina3433 Месяц назад +3

    Im so sorry about what you have gone through. After watching I just have to say that I have never related to a video by an influencer more. Im a long time fan, i found you with the makeup but stayed for you! I really like you! I just want you to know that. You have been a fave and inspiration for me for so long, theres not many influencers I can watch and see myself in and relate to the way I do with you. I love your style and personality.
    After this vid I cant believe how much we have in common.. I have similar experiences with alot of it youre talking about, and just remember its so valid. And Im so sorry for you, just know youre not alone and nobody can take away those feelings. They are valid because all of it are real big and are traumatic things for anyone.
    Also just have to add ( the body dysmorphia is so real). I was bullied as a child and the way you talk about those feelings are the realest thing. The reason i got into makeup and fashion was mostly because I never felt pretty enough or cool/good enough because of it. I really get it.
    I guess we both have this year as a fresh start in many ways. I wish all the best for you going forward from now! I will be here and I will be watching and remember we love u ❤

  • @connorsmith7092
    @connorsmith7092 Месяц назад +40

    Hey steph, my mum passed 4 years ago aswell to cancer, its the most aweful thing to go through! You dont know me but i am always here! I get it. You have helped me in my darkest times and i would love to be uere for you aswell! ❤❤❤

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +15

      first of all i'm so sorry you lost your mum too :( it's just awful and i hope you're doing okay. you just commenting something positive is absolutely enough! thank you so much xx

    • @gingerbreadloverjulie8609
      @gingerbreadloverjulie8609 Месяц назад +1

      Wow Steph I can relate to u alot of this feeling off losing everyone. I am an only child I have lost mum and now dad and it terrifies me that I will loss my partner. I am waiting to speak to someone as I defo suffer some PTSD of finding my dad passed. And I defo have death anxiety.

    • @kiraaa89
      @kiraaa89 Месяц назад

      Sorry for your loss x

    • @44LillPuffin
      @44LillPuffin Месяц назад +1

      ​@gingerbreadloverjulie8609 I think I know what you're talking about. I watched a few videos from palliative care nurses talking about how a lot of their clients see their family members, that have already died, before they pass. Like they will tell the nurse "my sister is here, she said she's coming back on Wednesday" then they die on the Wednesday. I don't believe in heaven and souls. But this really has been making feel comforted. I've watched people I love die. One of them, they woke up for a while and when I think back, they where saying things that I now think someone was there to take her. Now I look forward to seeing if my dad is going to come. I've always been atheist byw. So this is weird for me.

  • @sujinabegum9580
    @sujinabegum9580 Месяц назад

    Thank you for sharing ❤
    You got this girl! And we are right behind you... we are here for the hyper you, the chill you, just you as you are! Onwards and upwards 🥰🥰🥰

  • @Lissy255
    @Lissy255 Месяц назад

    Honestly this is one of the most relatable videos I’ve watched. I’ve not experienced the losses that you have but I am fairly certain I have ADHD and everything leading up until this point, all my struggles etc make so much sense. But I feel like the older I get the more I struggle and the more I feel lost in who I am, what value I bring to this world etc. I go through phases of really low confidence and feeling really down and isolating myself and lately it just feels more confusing, because my brain seems fickle and I don’t know what thoughts to trust. Thanks so much for opening up on this, it is more helpful and relatable than you know ❤️

  • @TwoFourJoy
    @TwoFourJoy Месяц назад +6

    “In your bins” 😆😆😆 that properly made me laugh. What a genuinely touching and tough video to make, I think you’re very brave. Sending love and positivity to you and all your new chapters.

  • @katieperx
    @katieperx Месяц назад +10

    Oh bless you.. it’s hard losing people you love especially those closest to you. I lost my 3 year old son and it’s the harder thing I’ve ever been through. That was 2018 and I’m still suffering now.. stop beating yourself up. We all deal with things differently and you should be proud that you’re coming out the other side. We all love you. You say it’s cringe but you do feel like a friend and id love to meet you! Take care of yourself and remember you are enough ❤

    • @jesuisaimeex
      @jesuisaimeex Месяц назад +2

      I lost my 6 year old in 2016. My heart is with you mama❤

    • @katieperx
      @katieperx Месяц назад +1

      @@jesuisaimeex same to you ❤️

  • @andreapocze1929
    @andreapocze1929 Месяц назад +2

    This was quite relatable. The inability to no feel your worth is so painful, unfortunately a lot of us feels the same. I think it is important to talk honestly about these stuff.

  • @BlepBlep-mz6xe
    @BlepBlep-mz6xe Месяц назад +1

    Ive just recently started watching your videos as a way to cope with my own struggles and self doubt in my life (some alot similar to yours) and u being honest with it as a creator ive felt a strong connection to so quickly not just thru the love and therapy of makeup but also just personality wise, this video truly means a lot as someone whos always healing or trying to from a bunch of trauma and stuff life just hits u with, the utter clutter of everything and just trying to explain it in one take, is difficult in itself. I respect u so much for sitting down and doing it, tho its totally parasocial, doing my makeup while having ur videos rolling have literally been some of the best self healing/care ive done for myself, steph u are so unbelievably cool no matter what and u deserve to know ur content (no matter how much or little) have had a really positive impact on my life especially when ive felt utterly alone, u have felt like an internet big sister i could do my makeup with!! Love u and support u all the way ❤️ guts for laying everything out for strangers like me but it truly means the world, even if its just a small part of it.

  • @francescabrooks4494
    @francescabrooks4494 Месяц назад +10

    People dont buy into brands, they buy into you...the person who keeps it real, who still shows up even when life is shite.i saw you once in debenhams in truro when i worked there years ago ,you were down to earth and youve not changed.your authenticity about who you are can be a lot for some people (i know this about myself😂) but you keep being just that!the ones who love you will continue to do so❤

  • @christielarke3498
    @christielarke3498 Месяц назад +6

    Oh, sweet baby girl! I felt the same way until I turned 50. I went through similar things. I'm 57 and so comfortable in my own skin. As far as people liking me, now I don't give a flying fig! You are enough! I enjoy watching you, and you will find your footing!

  • @michaelacalvert7859
    @michaelacalvert7859 28 дней назад +1

    I resonate with this all so hard! I think it goes without saying I’m sorry and I love you, like we all do, but it it’s true. I have always resonated with you on so many levels and thought you would just be the bestest friend I could ask for because of how we see life and being a geeky person who happens to also like make up and make themselves feel good. It’s really difficult feeling like you don’t fit into a category and I have always appreciated that you are on here because I see myself and that’s powerful. I’m in a lot of the situations you are currently and seeing you own it I just have to say, you’re so strong. It’s not easy, especially when you your pain to others, but it’s important. Your feelings are justified and you are worthy of them just as much as you are worthy of feeling unconditional love. I know, (oh gosh do I know), that the deep shadow work is hard but it is opening you up to your higher self. So I’m manifesting for both of us, that we continue these journeys and blossom into who we are truly meant to be. You got this! I may never meet you, but I am always here for you if you ever need a strangers unbiased opinion.
    Oh oh! Twitch!!! Yes!! Loved chatting and playing with you on there 😁

  • @katierose4128
    @katierose4128 Месяц назад +1

    I’ve been with you from the start and I have always loved how authentic and real you are, how relatable and YOU that you are. Literally think you’re bloody wonderful. ❤

  • @NoriGrace
    @NoriGrace Месяц назад +12

    I’m usually a silent watcher but sending all my love, Steph! It really sounds like you’ve been dragged through the shit and you deserve to feel so so proud of yourself ❤️ Heck yeah the world is your oyster girl!! Xx

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +1

      awww well i'm glad you're here today! thank you so so much xxx

  • @TracyAli83
    @TracyAli83 Месяц назад +14

    Ive got ADHD, OCD and Anxiety and i get seasonal depression. Its a struggle but i try and see the positive in things. We each have silent struggles we don't talk about.

    • @SMKNGRL420
      @SMKNGRL420 Месяц назад

      Yasss me too sending love ❤

  • @kirstyalcock2401
    @kirstyalcock2401 Месяц назад

    Sending all the love and positivity yoir way! ❤ Congrats on carrying on and being so vulnerable it's not easy x

  • @amybradley4034
    @amybradley4034 Месяц назад +1

    Mate you're so loved! You'll smash your come back! Wishing you a tonne of happiness and peace 💜

  • @amyf1084
    @amyf1084 Месяц назад +35

    I’m just about to watch this video so I’ve no idea what’s in it or what it’s about but I just wanna say as a nearly 40 year old you are 1 of my fave people to watch and I genuinely laugh along with you. Xx

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +4

      oh mate thank you so much!! this video isn't the most funny thing in the world hahah but i hope it's something! thanks for sticking around xx

    • @amyf1084
      @amyf1084 Месяц назад +1

      @@stephanietoms it’s true and it’s from the heart which in my eyes makes you even more amazing. Xxx

  • @Luxeria
    @Luxeria Месяц назад +33

    We love you Steph! And will always watch 🖤🖤🖤🖤

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +6

      i love YOUUUUU!! can't wait to meet you some day and kiss ur face gout xxx

  • @bissybooooo
    @bissybooooo Месяц назад +1

    I have watched you since pretty much the start, I hope you feel better for coming on here and speaking out. Good luck xx ❤

  • @missmissay27
    @missmissay27 Месяц назад

    Happy to see you back! :) i'm so sorry you had such a horrible long stretch of life really lifing. In listening to your whole story i would have 1000% felt the exact same way. I'm so happy to hear you are feeling better and doing better! Can wait for more videos!

  • @kkirsty7905
    @kkirsty7905 Месяц назад +66

    Im 21 mins in, and this is how my 13 year old daughter describes herself. I tell her daily that none of this is true. She was diagnosed with autism during lockdown. I cry often because of what she says. Thank you for posting this. I'm going to show her this, and hopefully, she will see that she is not different, not on her own. Thank you

    • @Stephilou
      @Stephilou Месяц назад +5

      26 and diagnosed Autistic 2 weeks ago! Tell your daughter she is beautiful, she is amazing and we rule! The community is always here to support! I hope she never feels alone! Plus being geeky is the best! I love being a nerd and so does my girlfriend! Sending lots of hugs and hopes she sees her worth soon! Being different is really fricken cool! 💜

  • @mikaelawestin5644
    @mikaelawestin5644 Месяц назад +6

    Babe, I can relate to 90% of what you went threw the past 4 years 😢
    I’m actually in hospital right now bc of depression and alcohol abuse!
    I drove drunk on Monday night and crashed my car in to a fence.. I’m so happy no one else was in the accident but me, and that I’m alive 🥺🙏🏽
    You are my number one “best makeup friend” when I sit down to do my face, you’re keeping me company and make me laugh better than any of my irl peeps 🫶🏽🫶🏽
    If you want to visit Sweden and our peaceful nature, I got a spare room with your name on it 🌲🌻👯‍♀️

    • @annihilxte
      @annihilxte Месяц назад +3

      I’m a heroin addict and have been sober 5.5 years. I wish you all the best in your recovery! I promise you life is so much better sober. Next time you could kill someone, or yourself, so please don’t drive intoxicated again 😢 you can do this and you are so much stronger than you think!!! I promise you are. One day at a time ❤ not at all judging btw, I have a DUI from like 7 years ago and still don’t have my license back. Working on it though! Addiction is a horrible disease and I pray you find your way out ❤

  • @Intrusiviteayoucantsipwithus
    @Intrusiviteayoucantsipwithus Месяц назад

    Thank you for posting this, I know it’s not the same but I go to psychotherapy and saying these things out loud is so hard but also really worth it, but please don’t invalidate your experience, there is always someone worse, but that doesn’t mean you can’t feel how you feel when bad stuff happens to you, I’m so proud watching you say all of this, and I’ve absolutely missed you! I can’t wait to see you back on here and reinventing & rebuilding! You’re wonderful to watch and thank you for being so authentic ❤❤❤

  • @swarner79
    @swarner79 Месяц назад

    You are amazing, you've got this. I can totally relate to so much of what you just shared. And honestly, you have inspired me. Sending love your way

  • @tinashort9098
    @tinashort9098 Месяц назад +6

    The first thing that needs to happen is for you to gain control of your mental health. I just came to your channel yesterday to see if you had uploaded and I maybe missed it. I haven’t been at my best the last few months and haven’t been on here allot. My grandson left for the US army in April and my granny heart has been through some shit!! Depression is an absolute bitch!!! As an old granny I feel like I just wanna hug you and squeeze all the bullshit that’s hurting you away!!!! I will be here with you as long as you’re here!!!!❤❤❤❤❤

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +1

      oh for suuuure! that's what i've been trying to work on the most lately - just doing everything bit by but. i'll always take a granny hug! hope everything is okay for you my love ccc

  • @Samlovest.
    @Samlovest. Месяц назад +8

    Oh steph honey. Feel your pain,I nearly ended up being sectioned recently, trauma messes us up luv. We know you care ,I hope you can find the space and time to fully heal. Thank you for being so raw and vulnerable,thank you for just being you, sage your house and manifest . Love ya girl. You got this.❤❤❤

  • @6Jillybeans
    @6Jillybeans Месяц назад +1

    You've got the realest and most fun personality. You've always been memorable for me since I discovered your channel. So sorry about everything you've been through and it's A LOT. I wish nothing but the best for you regardless of what that may be in the future x

  • @kerrygreen5342
    @kerrygreen5342 Месяц назад +1

    Thankyou and you are more then liked, you are loved by so many and don't ever think that you are not enough, you are enough, stay strong and keep being you, you have a fantastic personality from what I see and I wished I had a friend like you xxxx

  • @alexandrahindley
    @alexandrahindley Месяц назад +10

    I'm ready and I'm listening to the very end. As long as you're healthy and happy that's all that matters it really is all that matters. You have taught me a lot about make up and you made me laugh on the days when I was suffering with depression. I've got a lot to say thank you for. Now it's our turn to listen & help you if we can xxx

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +2

      depression is a BIIIAAATCH so i get it! so glad i could maybe help even in the tiniest way on your worst days. you got this. thank you so much xx

  • @gheanoviar6185
    @gheanoviar6185 Месяц назад +6

    no, literally i really wanna give you a big hug!!!

  • @bethwednesday3679
    @bethwednesday3679 Месяц назад +1

    YESSSS STEPH! 🥳 Just sat here cheering you on and rooting for you SO HARD. I’ve watched you for years and this actually made me so happy for you. You’re so strong for coming out the other side so positively and I know you’re about to have the biggest life glow up ❤ So excited to see what’s next for you 🎉

  • @courtneywagner7653
    @courtneywagner7653 Месяц назад

    You are enough girl!!! I love watching you. When I have a bad day, I can’t wait to watch your videos. You can lift a persons spirits!!

  • @yvettewan9821
    @yvettewan9821 Месяц назад +8

    I never really comment or anything, but I feel the need to confirm all the things you’re coming to terms with right now: you truly are enough and we really do love you for you. I’ve kinda fallen of out love with makeup, or at least don’t invest as much in it anymore but I’ll never stop watching your videos. You’re just so entertaining, also very relatable to me personally and seem so real, as sad as I get listening to you think negatively of yourself, you’re making your page a safe space to be true to yourself and I can’t put into words how much I appreciate that. I truly truly hope everything will finally work in your favor and genuinely believe you couldn’t deserve it more

  • @bluemouse5
    @bluemouse5 Месяц назад +4

    This looks serious, hope you're ok. We all love you lots xx

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +4

      it is a bit but i'm doing so much better now, thank you!! love you too xx

    • @bluemouse5
      @bluemouse5 Месяц назад

      @stephanietoms mate you could be talking about soil 😅 I watch because I like you. I recognise so much of what you say in myself, I lost my Dad at 13 and undiagnosed but almost certainly have ADHD. You may feel uncomfortable saying you like to be liked by randoms on the Internet... but it's just as weird to feel like you are friends with someone you watch 😅 honestly, keep being you. Do what is best for you and those that are worth it will support you 😘 xx

  • @maxxiepandaface
    @maxxiepandaface Месяц назад +1

    I've been following for years now, I've left some comments here and there and you've replied to some of them. I love this realness, I don't want to see perfect lives with people doing just great because I'm so not perfect and I've been through some shit and appreciated you coming through with this realness. I hope you do get to a happy place mentally again ♡

  • @cerievans1980
    @cerievans1980 Месяц назад +3

    I hope your doing well Steph, I’m sorry you have been going through this. And sorry for all of your loss.
    You have ever right to complain about losing money, reality is it was not just money you lost, it was your hopes and dreams, because you had plans for the money.
    I really hope your starting to feel better.
    Do what makes you happy, create what content makes you happy, what is the worst that could happen, you might lose a few followers who only hope in for make up, but you gain others that prefer a different content. I know you did not like doing them but I loved your vlogs. Xx

    • @stephanietoms
      @stephanietoms  Месяц назад +1

      thank you so much! yeah it's been a rough old ride but i'm so glad i'm out the other end of things. funnily enough i actually did like the vlogs but i just overthink too much with them 😂 maybe i'll bring them back when i'm back in a routine! sending love xx

    • @cerievans1980
      @cerievans1980 Месяц назад

      @@stephanietoms you have been through so much, so much more than most can bare, so try not to be to hard on yourself. I’m so glad you are starting to feel a bit better. Your blogs were fab, overthinking is worst, it means we can talk ourselves out of anything, and miss out on the good.
      Seriously Steph, have some faith in yourself, you are great at what you do, and that’s down to your personality, not your make up skills, though they are great to be fair. Xx

  • @kell0125
    @kell0125 Месяц назад

    I LOVE when you do the vlogs and the makeup. I look forward to watching your videos I go back and rewatch your videos. You for me feel like a someone I could just hangout with and just chill. You are amazing. you got this babe 😘

  • @chelseadrennan9974
    @chelseadrennan9974 Месяц назад

    Ooft. Right in the feels. My heart breaks for you but I’m glad you’re back and excited for your next chapter.
    If it helps at all your amazing videos got me through lock down in Melbourne! I love the makeup videos, but I also love your vlogs if that helps you decide on what to start to branch out on. Miss the jeep jeep! (Also let me live vicariously through your TK Maxx shopping!!!!)

  • @hannahmatts1746
    @hannahmatts1746 Месяц назад +1

    Honestly love you so much, you are more than enough 💖
    So proud of you for posting this as it must have took balls, please know we are all here for you and appreciate you. Your videos have been my go to for so many years and have always made my day. Looking forward to you being you 💖

  • @amiedwards993
    @amiedwards993 Месяц назад

    It was like listening to myself for most parts! You are incredible, this isn't your whole story just a chapter and how amazing is it that you can write so many more amazing chapters in your life ❤

  • @missmac7395
    @missmac7395 Месяц назад +1

    I started watching your videos in 2019 when I was going through a bad period in my life.
    You really resonated with me and we have had very similar experiences.
    I wish you all the best going forward and your future will absolutely amazing!
    Never stop being you ❤

  • @Leannelimwalker
    @Leannelimwalker Месяц назад

    Love you ❤ this must have been so cathartic for you. Cannot wait to see what’s next for you xxx

  • @roguec4172
    @roguec4172 Месяц назад

    Love you Steph! I'd watch you do anything! You are my favourite RUclipsr and I was so relieved to see your video tonight (I've been checking everyday for an upload). I'm so, so sorry that life has been so chaotic-honestly I feel the nicest people end up dealing with an unfair amount of trauma. Onwards and upwards ❤.

  • @sophietucker1834
    @sophietucker1834 20 дней назад

    Thank you so much for being so open and refreshing Steph, i have very recently lost my Mum too and feeling totally lost, so seeing your bravery and strength after going through those traumatic things is really admirable ❤ xx

  • @charlottesmith7845
    @charlottesmith7845 Месяц назад

    Literally love your videos Steph. I’ve been watching you for years and we adore you. Life is so tough and can be so cruel but you have made everyone happy by just being you. Xx

  • @jazz3483
    @jazz3483 26 дней назад +1

    Hey Steph! Appreciate you putting yourself out there to us, really rooting for you! Lots of love from London ❤

  • @kazachick
    @kazachick Месяц назад +1

    Been here from the start you’re genuine and human and that’s why I send you a ton of love 🫶🏻❤️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

  • @kirstenparryx
    @kirstenparryx 20 дней назад

    I just want to start off by saying you are incredible for doing this video❤
    I’ve been watching you for 7 years from living at home with parents, didn’t really know where I was going with life to now having my own house and a family but I’m still here watching YOU! You bring some sort of nostalgia for me and I just enjoy watching your videos and listening to you talk about anything really😂
    Thankyou for being open and honest and showing your emotions, the weight has been lifted and now it’s your time to shine🙌🏼
    This time you’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience💖 go get what’s yours!

  • @TheLoyloy88
    @TheLoyloy88 Месяц назад

    Great to see you (and the boys) back 😊🐈 you can do anything you put your mind too. Yours and Michael's face has made my night ❤

  • @jadehenderson1999
    @jadehenderson1999 Месяц назад +1

    So so proud of you, however many breaks you need, I will always be around to watch and support❤️

  • @elliebrown18
    @elliebrown18 Месяц назад

    Always loved you and your honesty and openness makes me love you more! ❤ sending you all the love and hugs. Be kind to yourself, you absolutely deserve it xxx

  • @alexishawkes
    @alexishawkes Месяц назад

    I’ve discovered your channel in the last day and this is my first video however, I wanted to share the love with you ❤
    Well done you for all of your disclosures and for getting help.
    I too have been dependent on alcohol or cope with my emotions and know how hard this is xx
    I can totally feel you on the ADHD, losses, stresses etc xx

  • @abbiestandidge6878
    @abbiestandidge6878 Месяц назад

    Thank you so much for sharing this!! It’s refreshing to see this type of video and it’s nice to be reminded that influencers are just normal people with issues going on in their personal lives🥰 don’t think I’ve interacted with you on here before (maybe on instagram!) but feel like this video deserves it💕 I’m glad you’re doing better x

  • @emma_witt13
    @emma_witt13 Месяц назад +1

    I’m a senior in college and I’ve watched you since middle school:) I also got an adhd diagnosis later in life(sophomore in college) and can relate to your story a lot. Thanks for coming back and pulling yourself out of the depths of depression. Loss mixed with ADHD is so hard. I admire you so much, can’t wait to see what you do!❤

  • @shelbyrenner
    @shelbyrenner Месяц назад +1

    I'm so sorry you've been fighting through all that for so long. Happy to hear you're taking care of yourself. I feel like you've explained so many things that we all feel like about ourselves and about life in general, so never feel alone in that. ❤ We love you and your channel, no matter what you're talking about! Thank you for sharing and I pray that you make it through each day knowing that you are loved and appreciated.

  • @sarahunsworth9721
    @sarahunsworth9721 Месяц назад

    I love you so much! You're amazing and so inspirational. You should be so, so proud of yourself for having the strength and courage to do this video ❤ xxxx

  • @laurasommer3447
    @laurasommer3447 Месяц назад

    You are incredible. Thank you for being so honest and raw. It’s refreshing to see someone not hide the non aesthetic side of life. Just know you’ve become so many people’s hero by just being you and truthful ❤

  • @karenlittlefield
    @karenlittlefield Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for this sharing Steph. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for being you.

  • @popbay1986
    @popbay1986 Месяц назад

    Bless your heart!
    Been here nearly 8 years watching. You are fab and you can keep going no matter what. Sending all the love ❤

  • @jasmineprice6097
    @jasmineprice6097 24 дня назад

    Steph! I’ve always been a silent watcher until now! I’ve loved your videos since forever and excited for this new start for you♥️ sending lots of love♥️

  • @peace-love-on-the-right
    @peace-love-on-the-right Месяц назад +1

    I'm here and have always been her because of you! I really like you as a person. I'm so sorry for all of the compounded losses you've been through. It's definitely way to much for a single person in a short period of time. It sounds like your finally getting to know your true self. It takes a lot of time for people to reach that point, if they ever do. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself a lot of grace. Many positive vibes are being sent your way sweetie!!!!! 🥰

  • @natashaj8794
    @natashaj8794 Месяц назад +1

    Good for you Steph! I have watched you for a few years and I think you're great. I can relate to a few things you've said. All the best xx

  • @rangoooo2312
    @rangoooo2312 Месяц назад

    Literally would watch any video of yours because you’re so funny. Put you on after bad days at work to cheer myself up. Love you Steph

  • @xanthehawksley-walker2591
    @xanthehawksley-walker2591 Месяц назад

    I started watching you for the tutorials and reviews - you’re great at them - but you’re basically the only makeup RUclipsr I still like, because you’re authentic and funny and charming 💕