My uncle got abused by this man in a wheelchair when he was made to wait 10 minutes for my uncle to finish. What this wheelchair bound gentleman did not know was my uncle had everything from his stomach down (including is genitalia) remove due to be a cancer survivor and requires the disabled toilets to correctly and hygienically access and dispose of the contents in his colostomy bag. He looks like a fit, healthy man. Please do not JUDGE a book by its cover. You never know of the silent struggles of everyday people.
@@wellhellothere6347 So you can't read *and* you're unaware of that. Fascinating. Also you seem to think you know me. We've never interacted before. What a dumpster fire
@@wellhellothere6347 a disabled man got abused because he doesn't look disabled. Literally what point are you trying to make? Are you saying OP shouldn't judge the wheelchair guy because he may also have a lot on his plate? This guy Abused OP's uncle (it's not mentioned what exactly happened and how bad it has gotten, and it's OP's choice to not share personal details), there's no excuse to that
@@MyEnglishIsWorseThanMyKinks NO, a non disabled man got his widdle feewings hurt because a lady did not know there was also a disabled person in the stall. NO disabled person was abused. With how many times every single day people who are disabled take abuse, the OP should have been understanding and just explained the situation. instead he had to make the disabled person sound bad, when they were correct in saying he was not disabled. Get over yourself. You are why disabled people GET angry.
There’s also (unfortunately) a problem with the disabled stall being the ONLY stall in men’s rooms. Which i don’t understand and REALLY wish didn’t happen. Like, what’s the logic there? Do the designers think disabled people are the only ones who poop? Or (the more likely reason) they only wanna put in one stall and are legally required to have one for disabled people. And people wonder why i avoid public bathrooms…
This is very common in the US. It's rough. Sometimes some guys will just use the stall even though there's urinals open, and don't even close the stall door. It's so annoying
Pro-tip: If you don't reasonably need the disabled toilet, be courteous and use another if available. For everyone else, dont police who does or does not get to use an ACCESSIBLE toilet. Some disabilities are invisible. The toilet is made to accommodate, also why they never say "ONLY disabled people may use". They only let you know with a sign that the stall is larger for wheelchair accommodation.
I waited for nearly 10 minutes for the single mens to be available whilst there was a free disabled toilet right in front of me. I waited literally as long as I could because I would be mortified too make someone wait for it.
If that’s the only stall available I’m absolutely using it! I’m not avoiding that stall and possibly having an accident for the rare occasion, that in my 33yrs of life has never happened, a disabled person comes.
@@jessicab331if an average wait for a regular stall would force you to have an accident, that’s what accessible stalls are there to help with. The difference with these things is when folks are doing it for convenience
this. I faint semi-frequently and those rails come in SO handy when you just need something to hold onto so you don't fall on the ground (for me I only faint if I can't get access to smth sturdy, usually I'm fine if I sit/lie down for a while depending on the severity)
If it's the only stall available I'll use it, but with the mindset of "get in and out as fast as reasonably possible" so I'm not making someone else wait
disabled toilets were a godsend when I was pregnant and absolutely necessary but I always felt bad or guilty and worried someone would need it so thank you for this
Real talk, in a normal stall you have to stand practically in the toilet to close the door around your giant belly (I suppose that's likely an issue for overweight women as well)
another issue: crowded, full bathrooms with lines. if that’s the only stall open and there’s a line for the bathroom, chances are people are gonna keep the line moving and use the disabled toilet. At least in woman’s bathrooms, people are usually courteous enough to let anyone who asks to use the disabled toilet to use it, whether their visibly disabled or not
I was wondering what the right thing to do in this situation is. I feel this way in the bus - if the bus is really crowded, and no one is sitting in disabled seats, I think someone sitting down while the bus is in motion is reasonable - more space for everyone, and less safety concerns where everyone is clinging and standing. I know this sounds obvious, but I’ve seen seats empty while moving while lots of people are standing! But if I do that, I don’t stay in the disabled seat when the bus stops and lets others in, I try to move further into the bus so someone who needs the seat has it available.
This! This is a weird case, IMO, because I understand all the "disabled people are more likely to have urgency issues" thing but also if you've got a line out the door... the odds of them all *really* needing to be there goes up, like I'm not gonna stand in that line if I don't _have_ to be there! So I do think that it's dumb to just leave it empty in that case. It's a bit more tricky. But also, if I'm going to go in there, i'm gonna make sure i'm in and back out ASAP.
Is this an acceptable use or unacceptable? I've always wondered about this one and as someone who currently doesn't benefit from using a disabled stall and the only reason I use a disabled stall is when there's a line out the door or all the stalls in the bathroom are disabled stalls.
If someone is disabled and either say so, or had some kind of assistance or device, I am always happy to offer them priority. I've never seen anyone get denied that stall if they requested it, or obviously have something thay would suggest they could be disabled, thankfully. I am a transman, I have to sit to pee, so I cannot use a urinal, so if that stall is the only option, I just try not to take a long time!
Able bodied people with urgency issues, or colostomy/ileostomy, catheter users or people wearing a pad due to continence issues are also probably going to benefit and that's another reason why people shouldn't judge someone based on their lack of mobility aids.
@@waffles3629 yes, agreed, Its more a comment on how some people can be able bodied but still do, very much need a disabled toilet and people can have them short term, and have them removed once they heal. My dad had one for 6 months so didn't consider himself disabled, and didn't appear to be to others.
In the U.S. 50% of women have urinary incontinence. I'm really glad to see a disabled person online actually talking about the variety of reasons people may use an accessible stall. With the way bathroom lines are in women's bathrooms, it would be even worse if people simply left the accessible stall empty.
I think one of the key problems is our societal view of disability. Services for disabled people aren’t only applicable to people who have the disability the service was intended for, everyone can benefit because we’re all human and most things that make something more accessible will help other people by proxy. A “disabled toilet” is a structure first. It is built to help people and if someone is helped by it the toilet is doing its job.
A great example is elevators. Idk if they were invented for disabled people, but i know that a lot of buildings require an elevator for disabled people.
Omg I'm so glad that someone pointed this out!! I sometimes use disabled stalls. When I'm having an issue with my medical device in public I need the space to properly fix it in the stall. This one time, I left the disabled stall and this lady started yelling at me for using it because I don't look disabled.
I've been to a place where the only toilets available are disabled, but there's also the unspoken rule that if someone with a disability needs it and there is a queue, they automatically go to the front, I know this because my cousin who has a disability was allowed to the front immediately. We all knew that was the only toilet available, but we all felt guilty using it.
@@Systemforgotdiagnosisit’s not necessarily taught to be kind to others - depends on the person honestly. But I do think they shouldn’t feel guilty or bad for needing to use the only toilet that was available. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s whomever was in charge of creating the bathroom to only have the one toilet in the first place.
@@catcloudstudios2732 That's great. I love that idea but I'm not sure The absolute bloodsucking ghouls who are just dying to harass someone for using a toilet would agree...
Totally agree. I have cancer and when I had my mastectomy, it was a lot easier to use the disabled stall when I needed to measure and empty drains. When I was on chemo and had to give myself an injection, it gave me more room to get myself setup. The handrail was helpful when I was weak. There was a time someone yelled at me for not needing that stall and I almost broke down. Some people need it for reasons you might not be able to see on first glance
If you battle cancer, you count legally in Germany as disabled and have access to: A FREE caretaker A universal key for disabled rooms Access to free Quick pass in many theme parks Reduced health care costs(~360€/YEAR) Free public transport Special seats in public transport Workplace protection including 5 more sick days, 7 weeks of payed time off, protection from getting fired, accommodations at work Cheaper access to the public pool(about 4$/day), theatre, orchestra, cinema, museum and many more And the obligatory: Free information access, schools, education, libraries, roads and financial support if you need it.
That was an invisibal dissability you were weakened cause you had cancer. People dont realize you can become dissabled at any time even for a short moment. I am so sorry you got yelled at. Also there are lots and lots of what we call invisibal dissabilities opon first glance you cant see someone is dissabled like for me i have P.O.T.S yes pots lmao it sounds funny i know but its a heart problem plus lots and lots off other dissabilities and people dont realize that also how abled someone is depends o alot of things, and can fluctuate such as pain levels if your on a lower pain level that day you may be able to walk around or if im dizzy or really dizzy or passing out it depend on the day and it can go from super sever to not feeling it hardly. So sometimes i cant walk im passing out all day and im in alot of pain to a much later day ill be walking just fine for weeks even but if im having i flare up i go comepletely dissabled but on regular days i seem healthy enough
That’s a disability. That’s literally why that bathroom exists. So people who NEED it can use it. You had a need for it. That’s not the same as people using it just because they like the bigger space of don’t want to wait two minutes for a regular stall.
when i was younger i had severe (and arguably debilitating) anxiety, and whenever i was going to have a panic attack i used the disabled restroom. I don't feel proud for taking the space for long minutes until i had calmed down, but it was the safest, most comfortable place i could go through the worst of it. since it's used less often, it tends to smell cleaner than regular stalls, and the room and fully closed door without gaps made me feel safe and isolated without the suffocating feeling of small stalls. the handrails around also helped me A LOT whenever my pressure went down quickly and i needed support to stand. nowadays I'm much better, and I'm so glad for the existence of disabled bathrooms even if I'm not the intended user, cuz without them panic attacks in public spaces would've scared me off going outside my house long ago.
This is also a great example of how accessible designs tend to be better for everyone. A famous example of this in action are curb cuts. Curb cuts were designed specifically to make it easier to roll wheelchairs on to and off the sidewalk, but in practice they have a multitude of other use cases. Parents with strollers, cane and walker users, people with shopping carts, etc all benefit from them as well! Now, of course, we should be designing for accessibility in cases where it "only" benefits that 1% of the population too, but curb cuts are a great thought exercise in how to design places that are more friendly to everyone.
This right here - I sometimes need to be completely on my own so I can regroup before going back out into a public space. Edit; just wanted to add, another great place you can hide away in public - photo booths. With the seat and the little curtain.
Yes, I fully support that. There's lots of people who would need a large accessible stall but aren't in a wheelchair. My mom uses one because she needs the bars to help her get up and down. Parents with strollers need them because they can't just leave their kid in the hallway. People who need to change out medical devices or clean them often need the space to spread out. Plus, regular stalls are often very crowded and hard to fit into for able bodied people once they put in large TP holders and those kotex trash things. My hospital just built this 8 floor massive building and the entire first floor is JUST for physical therapy type things (occupational therapy, PT, etc). So basically everyone on that floor needs an accessible stall. They built the bathrooms so tiny that the "regular" stalls have the doors swing in but it hits the toilet so you can't actually open the door. So nobody can use the stralls and they all have to use the so called big stall. Everyone complains about it - millions of dollars and nobody can use the bathrooms. There's only one "family room" that is actually an accessible large room and it's on the 4th floor. So you'll always see a line of like 20 people in wheelchairs all waiting for the ONLY accessible bathroom in the whole building. And this is at a hospital so it's sickening to me since they know they're dealing with a large number of people in wheelchairs or using walkers or stuff.
Correction, all bathroom stalls should be large enough and comfortable enough for most people. A toilet stall should be larger than a broom closet. I have seen stalls smaller than broom closets!
Adding more space to each stall means less stalls themselves, though… I’d rather more people be able to go uncomfortably than less people more comfortably. Of course, there should be more disabled stalls just in general, or they should have their own room.
@@Currentlyprocrastinating37 Where does it say that bathrooms can't be made larger? You assume that there would be less stalls but we can have regulations require a minimum based on capacity.
Been in stalls where you can barely open the damn doors. Been to places where they have squatty potties that either don't have walling at all for people in a skirt or a very limited walling because it's not really necessary, and frankly I'd almost prefer more of those to a toilet that takes up half the stall space and doesn't even flush. More room for people who need them that way.
AND about half the time they’re also toilets that are set higher on the wall. With my joint pain and general tallness it’s a blessing to be able to use the higher toilet and the handrail if needed. Less pain!
I often have panic attacks and the disabled toilets are usually more sound proofed that sitting in a small stall plus I’m also claustrophobic so the extra space, especially during a panic attack helps a lot
Please also note that YOU CANNOT TELL BY LOOKING AT SOMEBODY WHETHER THEY ARE DISABLED. My multiple disabilities (including bladder urgency issues) are all completely invisible. If someone is using the disabled toilet, IT IS NOT ANYBODY ELSE'S PLACE to assume they don't need it. This is good for showing lots of other reasons why somebody might need a disabled toilet but as soon as she said "if they're not disabled" I wanted to scream "how would you know?!"
nowhere did they say you should confront people you don't think are disabled though. all they did was put the responsibility on the theoretical abled people to not use the disabled toilet if they don't need to
@@Ari_C I never claimed they did say to confront someone. I'm just annoyed that, alongside all the excellent information in this video, they've chosen to perpetuate the idea that you can see someone coming out of a toilet and know whether or not they're disabled with no actual disclaimer or clarification on that point.
Most people don't realise I am disabled. I have been abused so many times, I am afraid to say sometimes wheelchair users, I now carry a letter from my consultant explaining I need to use the disabled toilet I will add that most other disabled people have been fine with it. The frustration is probably more to do with having to wait outside a toilet for a long while rather than with me. Some places disabled provision is bare minimum and wholey inadequate
I used to use the disabled toilets at restaurants cause the normal toilets were down the stairs and between many doors. I was young and TERRIFIED to go down stairs alone. I think as long as someone finds genuine comfort in using a disabled bathroom and not just because its an empty stall, its okay ❤
I wish we actually had dedicated disabled toilets in the U.S. It’s just a wheelchair accessible stall in the regular bathroom with some grab bars. That’s it.
Yeah. Eliza often talks about the safety features in disabled bathrooms and I'm like.. I haven't even seen a safety cord in all hospital bathrooms in the US.
@@balladofroses5282 Yeah, I’ve only ever seen them in hospitals and definitely not all bathrooms. And all of them I’ve seen are a different kind, attached to the wall and you can only pull them right next to the toilet
They are actually just accessible toilets in america. They are inclusive to all who need them. So they aren't actually designated specifically for wheel chairs or disabilities
@@shannonhensley2942 I’ve never seen a genuinely accessible bathroom in the U.S. Are you talking about bathrooms with wheelchair accessible stalls, or bathrooms that anyone can use with genuine accessibility features?
@@Birdkiller46I’ve seen them, but yeah, they’re not common. I used to work at a store that genuinely had a very accessible disabled restroom. The door was extra wide, it a regular toilet and a shorter toilet, so many handrails it felt excessive, and a large button next to the door to open the door, for people who couldn’t open it normally.
Or people who may be temporarily incapacitated from a surgery or illness could benefit too. I had surgery recently and having a stall available with hand rails was really helpful for me because my mobility was severely restricted for a few weeks.
Technically that is a temporary disability, just like pregnancy. The point is that there are invisible disabilities too and we shouldn't police the stalls ❤
Yep, I'm disabled anyway and have the right, but when I had covid it took the air out of my lungs for WEEKS after I "recovered," so I used the disabled stall more often than usual because the standard stalls don't generally have bars that I could use to help me up
I have bad anxiety, and I prefer to use the disabled toilets because the regular ones are cramped and make my anxiety spike. Thanks for bringing this to light!
Same, I struggle with anxiety and sensory issues. Small stalls give no space to get away from the loud flushing and it’s extremely upsetting and overstimulating.
Man as someone with extreme anxiety and claustrophobia, someone who is disabled saying that it’s correct for someone like me to use them makes me feel good.
i had a sob session in a disabled toilet(i have autism and was extremely overstimulated) and the second i walked out of the stall a woman yelled at me because i didn’t have any mobility aids. luckily one of my friends came in soon after and saved me from having a meltdown on the floor of a public bathroom
I've had a few meltdowns in the bathroom before and the disability stall is the one I need to go to. I don't have any other options, work places and schools have never had a sensory room or even so much as a supply closet to cry in. If I didn't have the option to use the disability stall, I wouldn't be able to work in a normal job. People act like disabilities are a burden on society, yet do nothing to actually include disabled people in the world unless a law requires it.
Oh my goodness ). My CPTSD anxiety d’ go nuts on me). I am autstict myself yelling sends me into meltdown having two types of Truma related incidents not fun 🎢 as a kid teenager & an adult CPTSD/PTSD anxiety disorder. I have not been yelled at for using disabled stall. I get overstimulated. Sorry u experienced that. The school system that was different I was yelled at a lot even my speech came back I was yelled at.
Thank you so much for this video! As a non binary disabled person without a visible disability, this was honestly very reassuring to remind me that im allowed to use the disabled toilet ❤
I love this! As a nonbinary person, I often get horrible anxiety using single bathrooms, even though it is often the most comfortable/safest place for me.
I'm a trans man and while I've previously been on testosterone long enough that using the women's is no longer an option for me, I've had to stop taking it due to financial difficulties. Because of this, I occasionally need to use the separate disabled toilet because it's the only other one that has a sanitary product disposal bin
same!! well, i have diagnosed OCD and PTSD and usually I can handle the contamination anxiety about using a regular toilet with less space and more germs, but when I get especially overwhelmed after a stressful situation I just like the space in the disabled toilets, plus they come with a large sink, there's space to maneuver around stuff that I don't want to touch. Additionally, I am non-binary but closeted, and when I feel especially uncomfy being perceived as a woman as I do when I go into the gendered toilets I'll prefer to use the disabled toilet. I usually feel deeply guilty about using it and will try my best to avoid it, but I'll definitely try not to feel too guilty when I do have to use it :))
A lot of bowel conditions are invisible (ibs, ibd, bags as some examples), these conditions can be embarrassing and come with urgencies, need for privacy, etc. But the person can look very able bodied otherwise. I'm scared to use a disabled bathroom even though i have UC because i look relatively fine on the outside and don't want to be confronted or feel guilty.
Same. I have UC too, and I often need the stability bar in the disabled toilet in order to help me sit due to pain or weakness from low iron, but on the outside most of us don't look disabled.
Samee. Gastroparesis and bad acid reflux. Being backed up for days to random urgencies and flare ups sometimes include being on the toilet and throwing up at the same time. Not the most fun to manage in a multi stall
I stopped using the disabled restroom after watching your videos, i am an abled bodie and really only used it because its the only one that doesnt have the big gap in the door. Now i just hang up a sweater. ❤
I have kids. Have you ever tried to go into a stall smaller than a broom closet with another person so you can help them use a toilet? Or carried an infant carrier/stroller/car seat into that stall? Family bathrooms aren't often offered where I live, and often stay locked and require finding a worker to open. No one involved has any disability at all, but there is a real need for a larger stall.
I am So glad she said this. I am homeless (motel room currently) and own rescue cats, so my managers want me to change at work so my clothes aren't contaminated. I have to use the handicapped stall, and even when I arrive early sometimes the first few customers will go right to the restroom. I have gotten cussed and by everyone from moms to Grandmas and anyone who goes to a manager is told I have permission to change, and I'm out in too little time for it to matter. It still makes me feel so terrible though, especially when my situation has resulted in a lot of mental health issues. Disabled means a lot of things; I hope the world learns to trust and care for each other more.
Omg that's absurd, you should absolutely be able to change inside the disability toilet if you are rather quick, how unreasonable those people are to scold you? Now it could be a good idea if there's a line and the disability toilet is currently taken to ask if anyone is in need of that stall, just in case there is an urgency but at the same time you are literally just changing and doing nothing wrong to use public resources intelligently and respectfully. These complaining people are the ones making the space uncooperative and hostile. The point in general is to be mindful of each other's needs and position ourselves accordingly so they're kind of missing the point
Not to mention that some history museums require that some of their staff to wear historically accurate attire. Trying to use a normal stall with full petticoats, crinoline, farthingale, or a hoop skirt is like a fight to try to fit.
@@lisahenry20not talking about changing. Everyone needs to be able to use the restroom, No matter what they are wearing. Costumes like that are massive & often difficult to arrange for that. Kinda like fluffy wedding gowns with a train!
All of what you said, but also what I say: “a lot of disabilities are invisible, and you would probably benefit from minding ya business, as then there will be less chances for you to embarrass yourself.”
Thank you! I had some lady in a walker try and BLOCK ME IN the disabled toilet on my way out. I'm gender diverse & was on my way out and it was closest to the door- not to mention that I'm not able bodied I just don't use a mobility aid!!
@@balladofroses5282No clue!! I firmly said "move" and something along the lines of "just because I don't *look* disabled" and went about my day- as I was literally on my way out of the building 💀
@@vvvnokk8309someone who doesnt identify as cisgender (body parts and brain all match up) or transgender (body and brain are opposite) could be considered gender diverse. It just means different
I am afraid of fainting/falling when using the restroom. I feel so much safer using larger stalls. Thank you for pointing this out. I once fell on the floor of my school bathroom because I could barely stand from pain, and I was in so much pain. I could barely get up from the floor cause the stall was so small. I managed on getting up and sitting on the toliet.
Me too!! I felt awful about it because I was in there for so long that my teacher threatened to write me up for skipping class even after I explained the situation. I held onto that bar for my life.
Same here, I have dizzy spells which make it unstable for me to walk and sometimes the handrails are the only thing that stop me from hurting myself I feel bad sometimes especially when people who are physically-looking disabled wait for me
I get weird fainting seizure things (doctors have no idea what it is) and will be using the disabled toilet more often now due to realizing how dangerous it would be to fall down without railing to hold on to
As someone with VERY heavy periods, its very handy to be within reach of a sink in case I need to clean myself up or, tmi - wash put my cup. Most disabled loos i've been in have a sink within reach. Very helpful.
Another thing I thought of is that some people who get anxiety from small spaces could benefit from the disabled toilet because it has more space and they won’t get so anxious
I have autism and sometimes the small bathroom get me very overwhelmed and upset i sometimes go to the larger one just to sit and breath and also not go into a full blown panick attack. And with that if i need my mother to calm me down we would use the larger one so she could hold me and calm me down. I appreciate this so much beacuse invisible disability is a thing 💜
I have anxiety disorder and adhd and panic. Don't mean I'm disabled 😂 we can use the normal ones just fine like we have been doing for years on end. Hiw come our parents and grandparents etc were fine. But this generation of kids and adults are so soft.😂
@@lozdogsimo1782 Depends on what your needs are and how you handle them. Not all mental issues are the same, but we should stick together as the people affected. Also, historically, people with mental issues have been 1, abandoned as children 2, rejected from their communities and end up in poverty or unsafe work paths 3, sent to literal fucking concentration camps during my grandparents generation 4, more recently, experimented on and medically abused 5, sent to unnecessary and inhumane asylums. So the generations before us weren't fine, the mentally ill folk just didn't even know if they'd be left alive, nevermind if they're supported and happy.
I have IBS and endometriosis which affects my bowel and bladder control, so I sometimes have an urgent need for the toilet. I also have an "invisible" illness, which causes chronic pain and inflammation body-wide. A disabled toilet gives me more space to bend and sit comfortably, and a place to put my things, so that I'm not painfully twisting my body in a small space or potentially knocking a wall and getting hurt
My husband had to convince me that it was okay to use the disabled toilet because my problems are also invisible and I didn’t want to deal with confrontation over it. I’ve had a spinal fusion and have slipping rib syndrome so bending over to wipe is often painful and difficult, I need the space to squat so I can actually wipe 😬 he’s like, “if anyone bothers you, just show them your awful surgery scars.”
I sometimes use the disabled stalls because I am very claustrophobic. Plus in the us , in most stalls , there are cracks and in the big stalls you can hide from the cracks .
Also people with non visible disabilities such as autism. Things like hand dryers can be very distressing due to how loud they are and how uncontrollable they are when others are using them. A separate bathroom for someone by themself is often times much less stressful and overwhelmed
@@embroideredragdollI like them because I don't need to use paper tower but they are loud and tend to scare me when I'm trying to use the bathroom (autistic, prefer to hang onto the handrails) usually I just wear noise cancellers to the restroom to try and avoid getting yelled at bc I am not visibly disabled
It makes me so happy to see someone who understands. I don't have autism but I'm neurodivergent and have some autistic traits. I've been ridiculously scared of hand dryers my entire life. I very much prefer using the disabled toilets because I have more space to avoid them. Regular toilets feel to cramped. Obviously I only use it if it's vacant. Same with the subway seats. I'll obviously move if someone needs it
@@GoroAkechi_Realthey unfortunately are like a giant fart on your clean hands due to fecal particles that remain in bathroom air. I would prefer to use hand dryers if it was better environmentally but they are kinda unhygienic
I personally had and still sometimes have to use hand rails due to a knee injury. I usually wear something that leaves my knee brace visible, but often the weather makes that impossible, so I sort of look like a fully healthy young person using the restroom, even if I literally can't stand up without a proper thing to grip on, unless I want excruciating pain and the risk of worsening the pain for the entire day... It would be very stupid to have to explain. Also dryers suck ass.
They're a great emergency safe space in pretty much any public building if you need one. I've only used them in that capacity under half a dozen times in my life, mainly for panic attacks as a kid and teen before I got them under control, and although I haven't used one in years, the fact that they're there if needed is so important. Obviously they are first and foremost for those with physical disabilities who can't use the standard-issue facilities, but the fact that they can also be an emergency safe space in nearly every public building is an often unmentioned amazing bonus. In the same way a library is one of those safe spaces. Not its primary purpose obviously, but that they can serve as an emergency place of safety for those in a vulnerable headspace or situation is so freaking valuable and often goes unmentioned.
THIS!!! Just like a week ago I had a full sensory overload at a restaurant and had to go into the bathroom, obv if there wasn't anyone in the bathroom at that moment I moved outside the stall so I wasn't blocking another person from using it, but it helped so much to be able to have a quieter/empty space to sit breath! Overall, cut down the "my brain is completely screaming and unusable" time from it's 1.5 hr time when it happens in the school cafeteria into like 15-20ish minutes
I have bipolar and often struggle with sensory issues. I have an anxiety disorder that is triggered by crowded places and loud noises. While I don't use the disabled toilets often, it does help a lot when I need it.
Thank you! You just alleviated so much anxiety and guilt from using the disabled toilet when I was pregnant and when I was having panic attacks and needed space. ❤❤❤
As an able bodied person I try to only use it when there isn't another one available. Either way I never judge people based on their abilities who use disabled toilets. I know a lot of parents who share stalls with their toddler would really benefit from the disabled stall.
i use the disabled bathroom sometimes because using the other stalls makes me uncomfortable. In the disabled stalls, people who look through the cracks don’t see the toilet so i don’t have the fear of people being creeps and seeing me
Yeah, this is one of the reasons I use them as well. I almost never use public restrooms unless they’re entirely empty because of this too. Also I use the disabled one because it’s usually at the very end of the stall line, so even if someone comes up to use the bathroom next to my stall, it’ll only be one person. I’ve got a weird fear of people on either side of me using the bathroom, and I usually stand there waiting for everyone to leave before I go at all…
...this brings back me a couple years back when I moved in a disabled stall while having a panic attack at school, to make it less obvious in front of others, and this girl in a wheelchair knocked politely as she was waiting to use the toilet... I felt like total crap walking outta there 💀💀
Thank you for recognizing mom troubles! As a mom of 5 daughters under 9 years old, often the only safe way to take them to the bathroom when I'm out with them by myself is by using the disabled toilet. And ues, the changing station is often in the disabled stall. But I always yield to those who need it, and I try to check after each of them is done to be sure there isn't someone waiting.
Also, dads taking their daughters to the bathroom can use the disabled bathroom. They as men can’t go into the ladies, the little girls shouldn’t have to see men at the urinals (and as others have said there are few stalls in the men’s room).
This happened when I was little. I threw a fit because I didn't wanna go into the men's toilet and dad took me into the women's, explained loudly before coming in: "I have a four year old GIRL, my wife is not here" and everyone just had a snort at the tired dad.
I had 4 kids often 1 or more in a stroller, yup took the stroller in the disabled toilet so I could use the toilet and not have to leave all my kids outside the stall to make sure they were all safe while I relieved myself. And if anyone disagrees with this they probably don't have kids or have kids they aren't worried about or are from a different generation when circumstances were different and none of those opinions matter to me.
I so agree, I find myself using the disabled toilet when my baby’s in her pram cause I would never leave her alone especially in public and prams definitely don’t fit in the regular stalls.
I’m autistic and I use the big stall for my mental breakdowns, but one time, this one girl was pounding on my stall, because she wanted to be on her phone and watch TikTok’s. I got even more overstimulating I had to ask to go home because it felt unsafe everywhere.
I used to not care and I’d just used the disabled stall, mostly because in the main circles I grew up in there weren’t any disabled girls, so no one was using it anyway. then one time I was using it and when I came out I realized there was a mother with a crying infant who’d been waiting to use the only bathroom with a changing table and I felt SO bad. The second time I was using the bathroom at school and the other stalls were open, so I assumed it wasn’t a problem. Lo and behold, when I came out, my wheelchair bound friend was waiting there because no shit, she CANT USE THE OTHER STALLS!!! Yeah I felt really dumb. Now I only use that stall if it’s the only one available. Lesson learned.
I think that the disabled stall being the only open one is also something really important to consider (where it's a stall in a bathroom and not a separate room). Non disabled people will be in and out of it and if you have such urgency that you can't wait, it's better to use the toilet quickly than try and wait for a non-disabled one to open because having an accident in the middle of the bathroom will close down the entire bathroom until it gets cleaned up and then the two minutes it would've taken foe someone to use it in a busy restroom can turn into 20 or 30 minutes. Just make sure that if you're using a disabled stall you are only in there for as long as it takes to go and wipe and get out ASAP
I always get nervous using the disabled, that someone will be mad at me. I’m autistic, trans and overweight, using the disabled toilet is what I prefer because it’s quieter, bigger and don’t have the stress of the badly passing middle ground of what gender I look like. Wish toilets were just unisex single stalls
I'm the exact same here. I really don't want to go in the men's, I don't think I pass well enough to use the women's, it's quieter (and usually cleaner), and there's a much bigger space. Plus if I need to use the handrails (chronic pain sometimes acts up badly), they're there
I want all bathrooms to be single stalls too. I quite literally cannot make myself use the bathroom if there’s anyone else in there. I just have to sit there uncomfortably and hope that they leave before anyone else comes in
My one quarm with people using the disabled toilet as a gender neutral one is that I often have to wheel my chair though pee or simply can't use the bathroom. It would just be nice if men that used the disabled toilet for whatever reason sat down and don't treat it as a big urinal room.
There’s also the situation where the bathroom is on the smaller side and only has the disabled stall available alongside two other stalls. Meaning that if the two other stalls are occupied the disabled stall is the only option you have left, especially if someone is taking a bit long in the other two stalls.
I love this. I hate when people try to monitor the stall. I am ambulatory but often need mobility aids. But even when I don't I still need the disabled stall. I think people who don't need it and can wait for a regular stall should but I'm not going to monitor who's using it and judge a stranger and no one should.
I only use the disabled toilet in my school (there are 400 hundred students and there is rarely a case where someone needs it) I personally use it more often because the space. Being in a very small cramped space (like the other stalls) can trigger panic attacks or paranoia. The stalls are bigger and against the farthest wall which makes it feel just safer in general. Also if I stand up to fast I begin to black out and the handrails have saved me from a few falling situations.
In places where a disabled toilet is just a bigger stall, if it isn't marked with a sign, most people won't know if they weren't previously informed that disabled toilets even exist. They'll think it's just a bigger stall. I used to use disabled toilets every chance I got as a kid because it was more fun. I eventually just started using whatever toilet was available, and more accessible, and as disabled toilets are always the furthest from the door, I never used them much anymore. One time a year or two ago I used one and an old lady was waiting on me and I felt sooo bad-- so since then I more of avoid them, unless I know absolutely nobody is going to even enter to wash their hands, let alone someone needing to use that specific stall. And one time recently where I did use one because all of the others were taken. I do have urinary issues but it's nothing to require a larger stall, it's at most an urgency issue.
as someone who’s not disabled but is plus sized, i prefer the disabled stalls for the extra room and i find it more comfortable but i do understand those who do need them
Thank you for your explanation and also your understanding of other peoples needs! I’ve used the disabled stall many times when my kids were toddlers and needed assistance using the toilet. The regular stalls are just WAY TOO SMALL (in America) to fit 2 people at a time..
The only people that really piss me off (pun fully intended) when they use the disabled toilets are the crowds of giggling teenagers who use it as a changing room and block the place for 15 minutes. That's pure selfishness. If you need to use the disabled loo because you need the accommodations it provides or because there isn't another safe option for you, go at it. You're there to pee. If you're actively blocking it up without consideration for anyone else because you want to try on the new clothes you got in Primark, maybe don't. That's unfair on everyone else. There are also temporary situations where a disabled toilet is the thing needed, like when I was out with my dad as a small child and I fell and landed in dog muck. Fortunately dad had a change of clothes for me, but it's probably best for everyone that he took me into the disabled loo to give me a wash and change me. To my mind that's not misusing it or being selfish, it's just the tool needed at that time.
I agree. I’ve used the bigger stall when I worked to change into my non work clothes cause I had to go to dance class right after but I went to the bathroom at the same time lol.
There are so many people at my school who do this during passing time. I can only predict that they are doing graffiti, drvgs, or just gossiping. There are many times when I have to walk to a different bathroom that is further from my class so I can use the disabled stall. (I have autism and claustrophobia, the stall makes me feel less trapped and tends to be more quiet because it's further from the hall and I would rather not have sensory overload while taking a piss)
This, this, this!!! I would like your comments multiple times, if I could! That's real misuse of these accomodations. Not able bodied people with invisible disabilities, mothers with babies in a stroller, older folks with or without a cane, people with autism or ADHD or claustrophobia or whoever else might get shamed for using disabled toilet, because they don't look (enough) disabled.
this used to have me so annoyed, i used the disabled toilet when i was in high school and often if i needed to go right when school let out i had to wait for groups of people changing in it. regular stalls weren’t even small in that school.
this!! during my school years some girls actually locked themselves in the disabled bathroom for hours. they only came out when the janitor was called to open the door :') those people suck, the accessible toilet is not a place to gossip, put on makeup or smoke cigs.
Thank you for mentioning the changing table! If there is one, its usually in the handicap stall. I have to take my two and four year old daughters with me to the bathroom. We all go together in the handicap stall so we can switch out me using the toilet, the four year old, and the potty training two year old who sometimes needs to be up on the changing station because of accidents. I always hope no one is waiting on us when we use it.
Fresh out of surgery (correcting scoliosis) I was limping a lot and I was with my mom for help. One time I wasn’t with my mom and I went to use the disabled toilet, a lady tried stopping me saying I didn’t need it. Mind you, I could barely wipe myself and let alone bend to sit on the toilet..
I wish all public toilets were single occupant, accessible, gender-neutral. I'm always worried someone will be mad at me if I use the disabled toilet even though I have social anxiety, panic attacks, autism, ADHD, and am non-binary. Needing to pee shouldn't be stressful. When I go out I usually try not to drink anything unless I know I'll be somewhere like a coffee shop that just has one cubical for all customers. Dehydration is preferable to working out which toilet I should use.
That's so true!! I relate to that a lot. When in public bathrooms I feel so uncomfortable having to pee next to other dudes especially since I'm a minor and the other people in the bathroom are usually adults. So I try to use the bigger stalls, not sure if they're the disabled stalls but I think they're wheelchair accessible.
Also stuff like invisible disabilities where it might not be easily seen at first. I myself have multiple invisible disabilities like constant chronic pain due to neurological issues, multiple Sensory processing disorders, and improper bone development of the legs (Which doesn't have any visible indications untill hours of use where I'll have slight swelling of the knees and ankles but nothing else) Not every disability will always be obvious and visible, and sometimes people don't "look disabled" at a first glance. 👍
I used to feel bad when I was younger when I learned that people shouldn't use the disabled toilets if they don't need it, because my first instinct was to always go to the disabled stall. I often went-and still do-go to the bathroom for autistic meltdowns, and to calm down, and the extra space of the disabled toilets helped so I could sit on the floor or pace around if I was too overstimulated to sit on the toilet. When I discovered that I'm physically disabled, as well, I use them all the time now because then I have the handrails to get up easier if I need it, as well as other reasons. Now I don't feel as bad for using them when I was younger because I subconsciously used the handrails to help myself up when I was (unknowingly) having a flare-up. :)
I actually used to use the disabled toilets all the time until moving on to the normal ones. I guess I just liked the extra space between the actual toilet and the hooks on the door
I used to use the disabled restroom in highschool when I would have panic attacks. It wasnt in the normal restroom and instead was a small private bathroom next to the nurses office and being able to use it really helped me get through the day ❤
oof. That is really wrong. I heard rumors of people stealing toilet seats, but seriously, the disabled one! I'm angry at the fact there isn't one! Also, I'm French Canadian!
Huh, disabled toilet at my uni has half of a seat. I still wonder what happened about three weeks ago that the seat broke and when will they fix this. It was nice, spacious, clean toilet and it still is, just with half of the seat.
One of my breast cancer treatments left me with serious knee and back pain when going from sitting to standing or standing to sitting the handicap toilet helped. Now that I am cancer free and recovered from the treatment I rarely use the handicap toilet.
Sometimes id use it at my school for 2 reasons. Only a few people are disabled and arent needing it at the moment and 2 i have severe anxiefy so id usually go in there if i was having a panic attack or high anxiety day
In all my medical classes (in the states) they classified pregnancy as a temporary disability. The insurance also reconizes it as a disability that they will pay you for.
I have OCD and my best friend has autism, and the disabled/unisex/family bathrooms (usually a one room bathroom that works as all three) is the best option for us whenever we are. They're less used so they're usually much cleaner, they offer less sensory input from random hand dryers, sinks, and flushes, and the extra space just gives us both a nice private moment during the increased anxiety of being out and about. We trade off so one of us is always outside holding both purses/any shopping bags, and even with both of us taking turns we've only once held up an actually disabled person from using it, and he showed up as she was washing her hands so we really didn't slow him down much. Not to mention, there are plenty of people with invisible conditions who dont *seem* to need it, but in reality a regular stall would be difficult or impossible for them. I understand with the urgency issues some disabled people face not everyone should be using them, but realistically unless someone is hogging it for 10 or 20+ minutes or leaving it totally destroyed, why try to judge others for using it?
One time after I used the disabled stall, there was a disabled guy on crutches waiting. I felt bad. But like many others are saying, sometimes the disabled stall is the only one that’s available!
I only use the disabled toilet when it's the only one left or I need to throw up. When I throw up in restaurants I freak out if I don't have enough space
I have claustrophobia and the regular stalls get too small for me and make me anxious, so if i have an anxiety attack or sensory overload, anything that doesn’t trigger me is helpful
as a person with SEVERE balance and depth perception issues, as well as severe anxiety and claustrophobia, thank you for making a video explaining how many different people can benefit from a disabled toilet. i have really bad leg injuries that aren’t visible as well, so also explaining how some people may not “look” disabled is SO validating! ❤❤
I have contamination ocd and autism, and have been trying to get myself comfortable in public places again. One of the public places I’m working on getting comfortable in are public restrooms, so in order to make myself comfortable, I prefer the disabled stall to do my business in. It just gives me more space to be able to do what I need to do without having to worry about getting stuck in a small space.
I get it too, I also can’t stand strong smells. But I’m happy you’re doing exposure work, if you need any help Nathan Peterson does a few cool videos on exposures. He even did a contamination one.
I keep finding ur videos, and it always makes me further rage over the time that I needed the disabled toilet, only to go into the restroom and listened as one of the waitresses played on her phone inside of it for nearly five full minutes after I had announced that I was in the restroom. I'm pretty sure she got fired after I talked to her manager
I usually use the disabled toilet bc i have a service dog, but i just recently broke my leg and i could not fathom using the regular sized stalls with the cast and crutches
I have major sensory issues (with ASD and ADHD) and I feel extremely uncomfortable going into the regular toilets. I definitely need to be in the disabled toilets. I don’t care how people look at me (if they look at me weird), I appreciate people’s understanding though ❤
I got convulsion seizures and have lost 2 teeth from being in a small bathroom and having a seizure while also having my body block the door. If I absolutely have to use the restroom in a public place I use the disabled one to lessen the chance of that happening again. Had a lady get confrontational with me for waiting to use that stall rather than the smaller ones. People are weird.
I am disabled plus nonbinary but i dont look either (i know they dont have a one look but i know people expect them to) i use mobility aids sometimes but not all the time so i often just end up using the womens bathroom even when the disabled one is more beneficial/easier to me...i say because i appreciate videos like these thank you
One of the only reasons why I would use the disabled toilet is either because there's no other toilets available or if I'm starting to have some mobility issues because even though I'm not diagnosed as disabled sometimes my joints will act up to the point that it hurts to move them and those railings make it so much easier to be able to get up and down when my joints are acting up other than that I do not use the disabled toilets I prefer to use the ones that are not disabled
And women with reproductive issues, my uterus is so enlarged and tilted due to adenomyosis that it puts immense pressure on my bladder and it becomes intensely painful when i have the urge to urinate. If the disabled toilet is the first toilet i come across then i am absolutely using it.
i mean the disabled bathrooms are designed for poeple who cannot easily access the normal stalls. if you struggle in a typical stall then you are free to use it! please dont feel like you have to justify it, not all needs are visible or obvious.
Service dog trainers! In my high school with the service dog training program I was a part of, we often used the disabled toilets because we had dogs with us and needed the room! We weren’t really allowed to hand the dogs off to anyone during the day, and especially when we were in class and needed to go, it was hard to find the free handlers lol I’m not disabled, but it was useful to be able to use the larger toilet (Edited for spelling mistake)
So true. I have seizures basically everyday meaning i need the disabiled toilet as there enough room for me to safely have my seizures. Also i benefit from the emergency buttons there as i can get someone in quickly if im in danger. Not all disabilities are visible.
Important to also remember not all disabilities are physical or visible! Ive got pretty debilitating anxiety around other people and restrooms make this even worse (there are times where ive just elected to hold it if a stall wasnt available or didnt feel secure enough and some days i just suffer until I can find a private restroom because i just don't feel comfortable or safe) and the disability stalls extra size really helps me feel less anxious and claustrophobic. In addition, autism really messes with my motor function and makes a tiny stall a rather clumsy and even more claustrophobic experience, so having the extra space to move also helps with that too. Instead of getting angry at people for using a stall that they honestly might genuinely need even if you cant tell why, we should focus instead on making restrooms more accessible in general for everyone
I used the disabled bathroom at an airport once (idk why, but I wasnt feeling too comfortable about using gendered bathrooms on the day). The queue for the main bathroom was super long and there was no one in the disabled bathroom so I went in and out as fast as possible because there wasn't anyone who obviously needed it. There was no one waiting to use it after I finished either so I didn't feel too bad going in there, and it meant I didn't hold my family up for our flight.
I don’t really have a physical disability. But using a public bathroom gives me extreme anxiety, and tight spaces tend to send me into an attack. Granted, I try not to use the disabled toilet often. But if the bathroom is empty? I'm usually quick
Yes I've had to use the disabled stall before because I use a stroller for my baby daughter when I go out and need to take her in the stall with me. Also if I'm waiting for an open stall and the disabled one opens up of course I'm going to use it. Love your views on this!
Also, sometimes the bathroom is just really busy, and you have no other choice. As reasonable as that may seem, once when I was in elementary school, my mom took me to Disney World because we had passes. This one bathroom was absolutely full of people, so when the handicapped stall opened, we both went in (i was little enough to get away with that) and we took turns. When we got out, some older lady in an electric scooter started yelling at my mom for using the disabled bathroom when other disabled people needed it (iirc, the bathroom had calmed down a bit by that point) so my mom tried her best to calmly explain. It feels like that anger was a bit unwarranted. While neither of us are/were disabled in a way that would require the disabled stall, it was literally the only available option other than waiting for another stall, and nobody waiting at that point specifically needed it
![15 things to NEVER say or do to a Disabled person!! [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/SGvahY8K-5I/mqdefault.jpg)
![15 things to NEVER say or do to a Disabled person!! [CC]](/img/tr.png)
My uncle got abused by this man in a wheelchair when he was made to wait 10 minutes for my uncle to finish.
What this wheelchair bound gentleman did not know was my uncle had everything from his stomach down (including is genitalia) remove due to be a cancer survivor and requires the disabled toilets to correctly and hygienically access and dispose of the contents in his colostomy bag.
He looks like a fit, healthy man.
Please do not JUDGE a book by its cover. You never know of the silent struggles of everyday people.
@@wellhellothere6347 I'm guessing you misspelled "I can't read" since reading and writing often go hand in hand
@@themindeclectic9821 Nope. But such a childish response from you was expected.
@@wellhellothere6347 So you can't read *and* you're unaware of that. Fascinating. Also you seem to think you know me. We've never interacted before.
What a dumpster fire
@@wellhellothere6347 a disabled man got abused because he doesn't look disabled. Literally what point are you trying to make? Are you saying OP shouldn't judge the wheelchair guy because he may also have a lot on his plate? This guy Abused OP's uncle (it's not mentioned what exactly happened and how bad it has gotten, and it's OP's choice to not share personal details), there's no excuse to that
@@MyEnglishIsWorseThanMyKinks NO, a non disabled man got his widdle feewings hurt because a lady did not know there was also a disabled person in the stall. NO disabled person was abused. With how many times every single day people who are disabled take abuse, the OP should have been understanding and just explained the situation. instead he had to make the disabled person sound bad, when they were correct in saying he was not disabled. Get over yourself. You are why disabled people GET angry.
There’s also (unfortunately) a problem with the disabled stall being the ONLY stall in men’s rooms. Which i don’t understand and REALLY wish didn’t happen. Like, what’s the logic there? Do the designers think disabled people are the only ones who poop? Or (the more likely reason) they only wanna put in one stall and are legally required to have one for disabled people. And people wonder why i avoid public bathrooms…
Oh that’s interesting! I live in the U.K. where we have a completely separate disabled toilet away from all the others! Xx
What country are you in?
This is very common in the US. It's rough. Sometimes some guys will just use the stall even though there's urinals open, and don't even close the stall door. It's so annoying
I'm fron Ireland and some of our toilets/public bathroom have disabled stalls in the ladies (and I presume the mens)
@@spiralsausage Canada. The worst part is that my college is like this while claiming to be accessible.
Pro-tip: If you don't reasonably need the disabled toilet, be courteous and use another if available. For everyone else, dont police who does or does not get to use an ACCESSIBLE toilet. Some disabilities are invisible. The toilet is made to accommodate, also why they never say "ONLY disabled people may use". They only let you know with a sign that the stall is larger for wheelchair accommodation.
I waited for nearly 10 minutes for the single mens to be available whilst there was a free disabled toilet right in front of me. I waited literally as long as I could because I would be mortified too make someone wait for it.
If that’s the only stall available I’m absolutely using it! I’m not avoiding that stall and possibly having an accident for the rare occasion, that in my 33yrs of life has never happened, a disabled person comes.
@@jessicab331if an average wait for a regular stall would force you to have an accident, that’s what accessible stalls are there to help with. The difference with these things is when folks are doing it for convenience
this. I faint semi-frequently and those rails come in SO handy when you just need something to hold onto so you don't fall on the ground (for me I only faint if I can't get access to smth sturdy, usually I'm fine if I sit/lie down for a while depending on the severity)
If it's the only stall available I'll use it, but with the mindset of "get in and out as fast as reasonably possible" so I'm not making someone else wait
disabled toilets were a godsend when I was pregnant and absolutely necessary but I always felt bad or guilty and worried someone would need it so thank you for this
Real talk, in a normal stall you have to stand practically in the toilet to close the door around your giant belly (I suppose that's likely an issue for overweight women as well)
Please don’t feel bad x
another issue: crowded, full bathrooms with lines. if that’s the only stall open and there’s a line for the bathroom, chances are people are gonna keep the line moving and use the disabled toilet. At least in woman’s bathrooms, people are usually courteous enough to let anyone who asks to use the disabled toilet to use it, whether their visibly disabled or not
I was wondering what the right thing to do in this situation is. I feel this way in the bus - if the bus is really crowded, and no one is sitting in disabled seats, I think someone sitting down while the bus is in motion is reasonable - more space for everyone, and less safety concerns where everyone is clinging and standing. I know this sounds obvious, but I’ve seen seats empty while moving while lots of people are standing! But if I do that, I don’t stay in the disabled seat when the bus stops and lets others in, I try to move further into the bus so someone who needs the seat has it available.
This! This is a weird case, IMO, because I understand all the "disabled people are more likely to have urgency issues" thing but also if you've got a line out the door... the odds of them all *really* needing to be there goes up, like I'm not gonna stand in that line if I don't _have_ to be there! So I do think that it's dumb to just leave it empty in that case. It's a bit more tricky. But also, if I'm going to go in there, i'm gonna make sure i'm in and back out ASAP.
Is this an acceptable use or unacceptable? I've always wondered about this one and as someone who currently doesn't benefit from using a disabled stall and the only reason I use a disabled stall is when there's a line out the door or all the stalls in the bathroom are disabled stalls.
@@kittenseven4269i feel like if you’re about to piss and or shit on the floor the one free toilet is fair game
If someone is disabled and either say so, or had some kind of assistance or device, I am always happy to offer them priority. I've never seen anyone get denied that stall if they requested it, or obviously have something thay would suggest they could be disabled, thankfully.
I am a transman, I have to sit to pee, so I cannot use a urinal, so if that stall is the only option, I just try not to take a long time!
Able bodied people with urgency issues, or colostomy/ileostomy, catheter users or people wearing a pad due to continence issues are also probably going to benefit and that's another reason why people shouldn't judge someone based on their lack of mobility aids.
A colostomy would make someone disabled
@@waffles3629 yes, agreed, Its more a comment on how some people can be able bodied but still do, very much need a disabled toilet
and people can have them short term, and have them removed once they heal. My dad had one for 6 months so didn't consider himself disabled, and didn't appear to be to others.
@@waffles3629 oh and I have a disability but would NEVER need to use a disabled toilet because I'm deaf.
In the U.S. 50% of women have urinary incontinence. I'm really glad to see a disabled person online actually talking about the variety of reasons people may use an accessible stall. With the way bathroom lines are in women's bathrooms, it would be even worse if people simply left the accessible stall empty.
all of these things are disabilities fyi, including incontinence.
I think one of the key problems is our societal view of disability. Services for disabled people aren’t only applicable to people who have the disability the service was intended for, everyone can benefit because we’re all human and most things that make something more accessible will help other people by proxy. A “disabled toilet” is a structure first. It is built to help people and if someone is helped by it the toilet is doing its job.
A great example is elevators. Idk if they were invented for disabled people, but i know that a lot of buildings require an elevator for disabled people.
Omg I'm so glad that someone pointed this out!! I sometimes use disabled stalls. When I'm having an issue with my medical device in public I need the space to properly fix it in the stall. This one time, I left the disabled stall and this lady started yelling at me for using it because I don't look disabled.
I've had the same. Had a scary experience with a wheelchair user who hit screamed and followed me. She didn't think I was disabled enough.
I've been to a place where the only toilets available are disabled, but there's also the unspoken rule that if someone with a disability needs it and there is a queue, they automatically go to the front, I know this because my cousin who has a disability was allowed to the front immediately. We all knew that was the only toilet available, but we all felt guilty using it.
Because Society taught you to.
@@Systemforgotdiagnosisit’s not necessarily taught to be kind to others - depends on the person honestly. But I do think they shouldn’t feel guilty or bad for needing to use the only toilet that was available. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s whomever was in charge of creating the bathroom to only have the one toilet in the first place.
@@cameronschyuder9034 I meant when it came to the guilt. Society taught you to be guilty for weird stuff. Especially here in the US.
@@Systemforgotdiagnosisyou can be kind to people just because you are kind, not just because of guilt or consequences
@@catcloudstudios2732 That's great. I love that idea but I'm not sure The absolute bloodsucking ghouls who are just dying to harass someone for using a toilet would agree...
Totally agree. I have cancer and when I had my mastectomy, it was a lot easier to use the disabled stall when I needed to measure and empty drains. When I was on chemo and had to give myself an injection, it gave me more room to get myself setup. The handrail was helpful when I was weak. There was a time someone yelled at me for not needing that stall and I almost broke down. Some people need it for reasons you might not be able to see on first glance
cancer is a disability
If you battle cancer, you count legally in Germany as disabled and have access to:
A FREE caretaker
A universal key for disabled rooms
Access to free Quick pass in many theme parks
Reduced health care costs(~360€/YEAR)
Free public transport
Special seats in public transport
Workplace protection including 5 more sick days, 7 weeks of payed time off, protection from getting fired, accommodations at work
Cheaper access to the public pool(about 4$/day), theatre, orchestra, cinema, museum and many more
And the obligatory: Free information access, schools, education, libraries, roads and financial support if you need it.
That was an invisibal dissability you were weakened cause you had cancer. People dont realize you can become dissabled at any time even for a short moment. I am so sorry you got yelled at. Also there are lots and lots of what we call invisibal dissabilities opon first glance you cant see someone is dissabled like for me i have P.O.T.S yes pots lmao it sounds funny i know but its a heart problem plus lots and lots off other dissabilities and people dont realize that also how abled someone is depends o alot of things, and can fluctuate such as pain levels if your on a lower pain level that day you may be able to walk around or if im dizzy or really dizzy or passing out it depend on the day and it can go from super sever to not feeling it hardly. So sometimes i cant walk im passing out all day and im in alot of pain to a much later day ill be walking just fine for weeks even but if im having i flare up i go comepletely dissabled but on regular days i seem healthy enough
@@illiengalene2285 dang where was this when my parents were paying my hospital bills
That’s a disability. That’s literally why that bathroom exists. So people who NEED it can use it. You had a need for it. That’s not the same as people using it just because they like the bigger space of don’t want to wait two minutes for a regular stall.
when i was younger i had severe (and arguably debilitating) anxiety, and whenever i was going to have a panic attack i used the disabled restroom. I don't feel proud for taking the space for long minutes until i had calmed down, but it was the safest, most comfortable place i could go through the worst of it. since it's used less often, it tends to smell cleaner than regular stalls, and the room and fully closed door without gaps made me feel safe and isolated without the suffocating feeling of small stalls. the handrails around also helped me A LOT whenever my pressure went down quickly and i needed support to stand.
nowadays I'm much better, and I'm so glad for the existence of disabled bathrooms even if I'm not the intended user, cuz without them panic attacks in public spaces would've scared me off going outside my house long ago.
You did what you needed to to calm yourself down and be safe, there's no need to feel guilt or shame in that. At least there was a space available.
This is also a great example of how accessible designs tend to be better for everyone. A famous example of this in action are curb cuts. Curb cuts were designed specifically to make it easier to roll wheelchairs on to and off the sidewalk, but in practice they have a multitude of other use cases. Parents with strollers, cane and walker users, people with shopping carts, etc all benefit from them as well!
Now, of course, we should be designing for accessibility in cases where it "only" benefits that 1% of the population too, but curb cuts are a great thought exercise in how to design places that are more friendly to everyone.
They really should have multiple disabled toilets. I am autistic and sometimes need the extra space especially if I'm in a crowded area.
This right here - I sometimes need to be completely on my own so I can regroup before going back out into a public space.
Edit; just wanted to add, another great place you can hide away in public - photo booths. With the seat and the little curtain.
Yes, I fully support that. There's lots of people who would need a large accessible stall but aren't in a wheelchair. My mom uses one because she needs the bars to help her get up and down. Parents with strollers need them because they can't just leave their kid in the hallway. People who need to change out medical devices or clean them often need the space to spread out. Plus, regular stalls are often very crowded and hard to fit into for able bodied people once they put in large TP holders and those kotex trash things.
My hospital just built this 8 floor massive building and the entire first floor is JUST for physical therapy type things (occupational therapy, PT, etc). So basically everyone on that floor needs an accessible stall. They built the bathrooms so tiny that the "regular" stalls have the doors swing in but it hits the toilet so you can't actually open the door. So nobody can use the stralls and they all have to use the so called big stall. Everyone complains about it - millions of dollars and nobody can use the bathrooms.
There's only one "family room" that is actually an accessible large room and it's on the 4th floor. So you'll always see a line of like 20 people in wheelchairs all waiting for the ONLY accessible bathroom in the whole building. And this is at a hospital so it's sickening to me since they know they're dealing with a large number of people in wheelchairs or using walkers or stuff.
Disabled stalls are not just for those who are physically disabled. Autism is a disability too!
sweetheart, autism is a disability. You can use services for disabled people
ME TOO!!!! Expect I’m not autistic I have adhd and still get very overwhelmed at restaurants, parties, school assemblies, etc.
Correction, all bathroom stalls should be large enough and comfortable enough for most people. A toilet stall should be larger than a broom closet. I have seen stalls smaller than broom closets!
Bathroom stalls should also have doors that offer privacy
Adding more space to each stall means less stalls themselves, though…
I’d rather more people be able to go uncomfortably than less people more comfortably. Of course, there should be more disabled stalls just in general, or they should have their own room.
@@Currentlyprocrastinating37 Where does it say that bathrooms can't be made larger? You assume that there would be less stalls but we can have regulations require a minimum based on capacity.
I hate the tiny stalls they make me feel closed in
Been in stalls where you can barely open the damn doors. Been to places where they have squatty potties that either don't have walling at all for people in a skirt or a very limited walling because it's not really necessary, and frankly I'd almost prefer more of those to a toilet that takes up half the stall space and doesn't even flush. More room for people who need them that way.
AND about half the time they’re also toilets that are set higher on the wall. With my joint pain and general tallness it’s a blessing to be able to use the higher toilet and the handrail if needed. Less pain!
I often have panic attacks and the disabled toilets are usually more sound proofed that sitting in a small stall plus I’m also claustrophobic so the extra space, especially during a panic attack helps a lot
Please also note that YOU CANNOT TELL BY LOOKING AT SOMEBODY WHETHER THEY ARE DISABLED.
My multiple disabilities (including bladder urgency issues) are all completely invisible. If someone is using the disabled toilet, IT IS NOT ANYBODY ELSE'S PLACE to assume they don't need it.
This is good for showing lots of other reasons why somebody might need a disabled toilet but as soon as she said "if they're not disabled" I wanted to scream "how would you know?!"
I want to say I relate, but I have tics and I'm autistic, using the small stalls overwhelms me quickly, though I don't know if that counts 😭
@ghostaiyama That ABSOLUTELY counts. Nobody has the right to gatekeep something which helps you.
Your comment needs to be pinned ❤
nowhere did they say you should confront people you don't think are disabled though. all they did was put the responsibility on the theoretical abled people to not use the disabled toilet if they don't need to
@@Ari_C I never claimed they did say to confront someone. I'm just annoyed that, alongside all the excellent information in this video, they've chosen to perpetuate the idea that you can see someone coming out of a toilet and know whether or not they're disabled with no actual disclaimer or clarification on that point.
Most people don't realise I am disabled. I have been abused so many times, I am afraid to say sometimes wheelchair users, I now carry a letter from my consultant explaining I need to use the disabled toilet
I will add that most other disabled people have been fine with it. The frustration is probably more to do with having to wait outside a toilet for a long while rather than with me. Some places disabled provision is bare minimum and wholey inadequate
Same,except I haven’t got to the letter stage yet,might need to steal your strategy
U don't need a letter from ur doc to prove u can use disabled toilets 😂😂 I've been using them for years
@@lozdogsimo1782 who said u need them?it just prevents the occasional harassment
I used to use the disabled toilets at restaurants cause the normal toilets were down the stairs and between many doors. I was young and TERRIFIED to go down stairs alone. I think as long as someone finds genuine comfort in using a disabled bathroom and not just because its an empty stall, its okay ❤
I wish we actually had dedicated disabled toilets in the U.S. It’s just a wheelchair accessible stall in the regular bathroom with some grab bars. That’s it.
Yeah. Eliza often talks about the safety features in disabled bathrooms and I'm like.. I haven't even seen a safety cord in all hospital bathrooms in the US.
@@balladofroses5282 Yeah, I’ve only ever seen them in hospitals and definitely not all bathrooms. And all of them I’ve seen are a different kind, attached to the wall and you can only pull them right next to the toilet
They are actually just accessible toilets in america. They are inclusive to all who need them. So they aren't actually designated specifically for wheel chairs or disabilities
@@shannonhensley2942 I’ve never seen a genuinely accessible bathroom in the U.S. Are you talking about bathrooms with wheelchair accessible stalls, or bathrooms that anyone can use with genuine accessibility features?
@@Birdkiller46I’ve seen them, but yeah, they’re not common.
I used to work at a store that genuinely had a very accessible disabled restroom. The door was extra wide, it a regular toilet and a shorter toilet, so many handrails it felt excessive, and a large button next to the door to open the door, for people who couldn’t open it normally.
Or people who may be temporarily incapacitated from a surgery or illness could benefit too. I had surgery recently and having a stall available with hand rails was really helpful for me because my mobility was severely restricted for a few weeks.
Technically that is a temporary disability, just like pregnancy. The point is that there are invisible disabilities too and we shouldn't police the stalls ❤
Yep, I'm disabled anyway and have the right, but when I had covid it took the air out of my lungs for WEEKS after I "recovered," so I used the disabled stall more often than usual because the standard stalls don't generally have bars that I could use to help me up
I have bad anxiety, and I prefer to use the disabled toilets because the regular ones are cramped and make my anxiety spike. Thanks for bringing this to light!
Same, I struggle with anxiety and sensory issues. Small stalls give no space to get away from the loud flushing and it’s extremely upsetting and overstimulating.
Man as someone with extreme anxiety and claustrophobia, someone who is disabled saying that it’s correct for someone like me to use them makes me feel good.
I once was allowed to use the disabled toilet at a convention cause I was wearing a massive wedding dress. Helped a fucking lot
i had a sob session in a disabled toilet(i have autism and was extremely overstimulated) and the second i walked out of the stall a woman yelled at me because i didn’t have any mobility aids. luckily one of my friends came in soon after and saved me from having a meltdown on the floor of a public bathroom
Oh my god. I’m autistic too and this sounds like utter hell ❤ I’m so sorry this happened
I've had a few meltdowns in the bathroom before and the disability stall is the one I need to go to. I don't have any other options, work places and schools have never had a sensory room or even so much as a supply closet to cry in. If I didn't have the option to use the disability stall, I wouldn't be able to work in a normal job. People act like disabilities are a burden on society, yet do nothing to actually include disabled people in the world unless a law requires it.
Oh my goodness ). My CPTSD anxiety d’ go nuts on me). I am autstict myself yelling sends me into meltdown having two types of Truma related incidents not fun 🎢 as a kid teenager & an adult CPTSD/PTSD anxiety disorder. I have not been yelled at for using disabled stall. I get overstimulated. Sorry u experienced that. The school system that was different I was yelled at a lot even my speech came back I was yelled at.
Thank you so much for this video! As a non binary disabled person without a visible disability, this was honestly very reassuring to remind me that im allowed to use the disabled toilet ❤
I love this! As a nonbinary person, I often get horrible anxiety using single bathrooms, even though it is often the most comfortable/safest place for me.
"Me Me ME"
I'm a trans man and while I've previously been on testosterone long enough that using the women's is no longer an option for me, I've had to stop taking it due to financial difficulties. Because of this, I occasionally need to use the separate disabled toilet because it's the only other one that has a sanitary product disposal bin
As someone with OCD and chronic anxiety, especially in tight spaces, the space is very helpful. I don't go for it every time, and I try to be quick.
Yes!! I have a lot of anxiety around public bathrooms because of germs and claustrophobia, so I try to use the stall as quickly as possible
same!! well, i have diagnosed OCD and PTSD and usually I can handle the contamination anxiety about using a regular toilet with less space and more germs, but when I get especially overwhelmed after a stressful situation I just like the space in the disabled toilets, plus they come with a large sink, there's space to maneuver around stuff that I don't want to touch. Additionally, I am non-binary but closeted, and when I feel especially uncomfy being perceived as a woman as I do when I go into the gendered toilets I'll prefer to use the disabled toilet. I usually feel deeply guilty about using it and will try my best to avoid it, but I'll definitely try not to feel too guilty when I do have to use it :))
Eugh, tell me about it.
A lot of bowel conditions are invisible (ibs, ibd, bags as some examples), these conditions can be embarrassing and come with urgencies, need for privacy, etc. But the person can look very able bodied otherwise. I'm scared to use a disabled bathroom even though i have UC because i look relatively fine on the outside and don't want to be confronted or feel guilty.
Same. I have UC too, and I often need the stability bar in the disabled toilet in order to help me sit due to pain or weakness from low iron, but on the outside most of us don't look disabled.
Samee. Gastroparesis and bad acid reflux. Being backed up for days to random urgencies and flare ups sometimes include being on the toilet and throwing up at the same time. Not the most fun to manage in a multi stall
I stopped using the disabled restroom after watching your videos, i am an abled bodie and really only used it because its the only one that doesnt have the big gap in the door. Now i just hang up a sweater. ❤
I have kids. Have you ever tried to go into a stall smaller than a broom closet with another person so you can help them use a toilet? Or carried an infant carrier/stroller/car seat into that stall? Family bathrooms aren't often offered where I live, and often stay locked and require finding a worker to open. No one involved has any disability at all, but there is a real need for a larger stall.
I am So glad she said this.
I am homeless (motel room currently) and own rescue cats, so my managers want me to change at work so my clothes aren't contaminated. I have to use the handicapped stall, and even when I arrive early sometimes the first few customers will go right to the restroom.
I have gotten cussed and by everyone from moms to Grandmas and anyone who goes to a manager is told I have permission to change, and I'm out in too little time for it to matter.
It still makes me feel so terrible though, especially when my situation has resulted in a lot of mental health issues.
Disabled means a lot of things; I hope the world learns to trust and care for each other more.
I hope you find a place to stay!!!!stay strong bro!!!
You can do this!! You came this far, don't stop! Ignore those people!
Omg that's absurd, you should absolutely be able to change inside the disability toilet if you are rather quick, how unreasonable those people are to scold you? Now it could be a good idea if there's a line and the disability toilet is currently taken to ask if anyone is in need of that stall, just in case there is an urgency but at the same time you are literally just changing and doing nothing wrong to use public resources intelligently and respectfully. These complaining people are the ones making the space uncooperative and hostile. The point in general is to be mindful of each other's needs and position ourselves accordingly so they're kind of missing the point
Not to mention that some history museums require that some of their staff to wear historically accurate attire. Trying to use a normal stall with full petticoats, crinoline, farthingale, or a hoop skirt is like a fight to try to fit.
I feel like they should have a private changing area that isn't a bathroom, disabled or otherwise.
@@lisahenry20not talking about changing. Everyone needs to be able to use the restroom, No matter what they are wearing. Costumes like that are massive & often difficult to arrange for that. Kinda like fluffy wedding gowns with a train!
@@Batty77 yeah, I realised that after making the comment and then RUclips bugged out and wouldn't show me it so I couldn't delete or edit it.
I feel like they ought to have a few staff only bathrooms then...
Then take that up with the museum, and do NOT burden disabled people because you can't manage your underwear. Sheesh.
As an agender, I can confirm, when I had to use the disabled toilet because the others were full, I felt great
All of what you said, but also what I say: “a lot of disabilities are invisible, and you would probably benefit from minding ya business, as then there will be less chances for you to embarrass yourself.”
Thank you! I had some lady in a walker try and BLOCK ME IN the disabled toilet on my way out. I'm gender diverse & was on my way out and it was closest to the door- not to mention that I'm not able bodied I just don't use a mobility aid!!
What did she think blocking you in was gonna accomplish?!
@@balladofroses5282No clue!! I firmly said "move" and something along the lines of "just because I don't *look* disabled" and went about my day- as I was literally on my way out of the building 💀
Gender diverse? 🤨
@@vvvnokk8309someone who doesnt identify as cisgender (body parts and brain all match up) or transgender (body and brain are opposite) could be considered gender diverse. It just means different
@@bonniepaora8664 Could also mean intersex!
I am afraid of fainting/falling when using the restroom. I feel so much safer using larger stalls. Thank you for pointing this out.
I once fell on the floor of my school bathroom because I could barely stand from pain, and I was in so much pain. I could barely get up from the floor cause the stall was so small. I managed on getting up and sitting on the toliet.
Me too!! I felt awful about it because I was in there for so long that my teacher threatened to write me up for skipping class even after I explained the situation. I held onto that bar for my life.
Same here, I have dizzy spells which make it unstable for me to walk and sometimes the handrails are the only thing that stop me from hurting myself
I feel bad sometimes especially when people who are physically-looking disabled wait for me
I get weird fainting seizure things (doctors have no idea what it is) and will be using the disabled toilet more often now due to realizing how dangerous it would be to fall down without railing to hold on to
I have POTS and I use the disabled stall or bathroom for the same reason!
This is why I tend to use it. I'm scared of wedging myself between the toilet and stall if I have a seizure.
As someone with VERY heavy periods, its very handy to be within reach of a sink in case I need to clean myself up or, tmi - wash put my cup. Most disabled loos i've been in have a sink within reach. Very helpful.
Another thing I thought of is that some people who get anxiety from small spaces could benefit from the disabled toilet because it has more space and they won’t get so anxious
I have autism and sometimes the small bathroom get me very overwhelmed and upset i sometimes go to the larger one just to sit and breath and also not go into a full blown panick attack. And with that if i need my mother to calm me down we would use the larger one so she could hold me and calm me down. I appreciate this so much beacuse invisible disability is a thing 💜
I agree. For some reason airport bathroom stalls make me nervous. Probably because the feeling of sh💩tting in a closet.
I have anxiety disorder and adhd and panic. Don't mean I'm disabled 😂 we can use the normal ones just fine like we have been doing for years on end. Hiw come our parents and grandparents etc were fine. But this generation of kids and adults are so soft.😂
@@Stephie2007haha not 💩in a closet 😭 that's so accurate lolll
Absolutely. I’m autistic as well ❤
@@lozdogsimo1782 Depends on what your needs are and how you handle them. Not all mental issues are the same, but we should stick together as the people affected.
Also, historically, people with mental issues have been 1, abandoned as children 2, rejected from their communities and end up in poverty or unsafe work paths 3, sent to literal fucking concentration camps during my grandparents generation 4, more recently, experimented on and medically abused 5, sent to unnecessary and inhumane asylums.
So the generations before us weren't fine, the mentally ill folk just didn't even know if they'd be left alive, nevermind if they're supported and happy.
I have IBS and endometriosis which affects my bowel and bladder control, so I sometimes have an urgent need for the toilet. I also have an "invisible" illness, which causes chronic pain and inflammation body-wide. A disabled toilet gives me more space to bend and sit comfortably, and a place to put my things, so that I'm not painfully twisting my body in a small space or potentially knocking a wall and getting hurt
My husband had to convince me that it was okay to use the disabled toilet because my problems are also invisible and I didn’t want to deal with confrontation over it. I’ve had a spinal fusion and have slipping rib syndrome so bending over to wipe is often painful and difficult, I need the space to squat so I can actually wipe 😬 he’s like, “if anyone bothers you, just show them your awful surgery scars.”
Same!
People also have claustrophobia and those stalls can be super tight at some places
My mom & uncle grandmother have that issue cousin as well.
I sometimes use the disabled stalls because I am very claustrophobic. Plus in the us , in most stalls , there are cracks and in the big stalls you can hide from the cracks .
Also people with non visible disabilities such as autism. Things like hand dryers can be very distressing due to how loud they are and how uncontrollable they are when others are using them. A separate bathroom for someone by themself is often times much less stressful and overwhelmed
I personally think hand dryers should be banned. They’re just useless, time consuming noise machines.
@@embroideredragdollI like them because I don't need to use paper tower but they are loud and tend to scare me when I'm trying to use the bathroom (autistic, prefer to hang onto the handrails)
usually I just wear noise cancellers to the restroom to try and avoid getting yelled at bc I am not visibly disabled
It makes me so happy to see someone who understands. I don't have autism but I'm neurodivergent and have some autistic traits. I've been ridiculously scared of hand dryers my entire life. I very much prefer using the disabled toilets because I have more space to avoid them. Regular toilets feel to cramped. Obviously I only use it if it's vacant. Same with the subway seats. I'll obviously move if someone needs it
@@GoroAkechi_Realthey unfortunately are like a giant fart on your clean hands due to fecal particles that remain in bathroom air. I would prefer to use hand dryers if it was better environmentally but they are kinda unhygienic
I personally had and still sometimes have to use hand rails due to a knee injury. I usually wear something that leaves my knee brace visible, but often the weather makes that impossible, so I sort of look like a fully healthy young person using the restroom, even if I literally can't stand up without a proper thing to grip on, unless I want excruciating pain and the risk of worsening the pain for the entire day... It would be very stupid to have to explain.
Also dryers suck ass.
They're a great emergency safe space in pretty much any public building if you need one. I've only used them in that capacity under half a dozen times in my life, mainly for panic attacks as a kid and teen before I got them under control, and although I haven't used one in years, the fact that they're there if needed is so important.
Obviously they are first and foremost for those with physical disabilities who can't use the standard-issue facilities, but the fact that they can also be an emergency safe space in nearly every public building is an often unmentioned amazing bonus. In the same way a library is one of those safe spaces. Not its primary purpose obviously, but that they can serve as an emergency place of safety for those in a vulnerable headspace or situation is so freaking valuable and often goes unmentioned.
THIS!!!
Just like a week ago I had a full sensory overload at a restaurant and had to go into the bathroom, obv if there wasn't anyone in the bathroom at that moment I moved outside the stall so I wasn't blocking another person from using it, but it helped so much to be able to have a quieter/empty space to sit breath! Overall, cut down the "my brain is completely screaming and unusable" time from it's 1.5 hr time when it happens in the school cafeteria into like 15-20ish minutes
I have bipolar and often struggle with sensory issues. I have an anxiety disorder that is triggered by crowded places and loud noises. While I don't use the disabled toilets often, it does help a lot when I need it.
Thank you! You just alleviated so much anxiety and guilt from using the disabled toilet when I was pregnant and when I was having panic attacks and needed space. ❤❤❤
As an able bodied person I try to only use it when there isn't another one available. Either way I never judge people based on their abilities who use disabled toilets. I know a lot of parents who share stalls with their toddler would really benefit from the disabled stall.
i use the disabled bathroom sometimes because using the other stalls makes me uncomfortable. In the disabled stalls, people who look through the cracks don’t see the toilet so i don’t have the fear of people being creeps and seeing me
Yeah, this is one of the reasons I use them as well.
I almost never use public restrooms unless they’re entirely empty because of this too. Also I use the disabled one because it’s usually at the very end of the stall line, so even if someone comes up to use the bathroom next to my stall, it’ll only be one person. I’ve got a weird fear of people on either side of me using the bathroom, and I usually stand there waiting for everyone to leave before I go at all…
...this brings back me a couple years back when I moved in a disabled stall while having a panic attack at school, to make it less obvious in front of others, and this girl in a wheelchair knocked politely as she was waiting to use the toilet... I felt like total crap walking outta there 💀💀
Thank you for recognizing mom troubles! As a mom of 5 daughters under 9 years old, often the only safe way to take them to the bathroom when I'm out with them by myself is by using the disabled toilet. And ues, the changing station is often in the disabled stall. But I always yield to those who need it, and I try to check after each of them is done to be sure there isn't someone waiting.
Also, dads taking their daughters to the bathroom can use the disabled bathroom. They as men can’t go into the ladies, the little girls shouldn’t have to see men at the urinals (and as others have said there are few stalls in the men’s room).
Actually you can, at least in the US, enter the wrong bathroom if you are assisting someone else.
This happened when I was little. I threw a fit because I didn't wanna go into the men's toilet and dad took me into the women's, explained loudly before coming in: "I have a four year old GIRL, my wife is not here" and everyone just had a snort at the tired dad.
I had 4 kids often 1 or more in a stroller, yup took the stroller in the disabled toilet so I could use the toilet and not have to leave all my kids outside the stall to make sure they were all safe while I relieved myself. And if anyone disagrees with this they probably don't have kids or have kids they aren't worried about or are from a different generation when circumstances were different and none of those opinions matter to me.
I so agree, I find myself using the disabled toilet when my baby’s in her pram cause I would never leave her alone especially in public and prams definitely don’t fit in the regular stalls.
I’m autistic and I use the big stall for my mental breakdowns, but one time, this one girl was pounding on my stall, because she wanted to be on her phone and watch TikTok’s. I got even more overstimulating I had to ask to go home because it felt unsafe everywhere.
I used to not care and I’d just used the disabled stall, mostly because in the main circles I grew up in there weren’t any disabled girls, so no one was using it anyway. then one time I was using it and when I came out I realized there was a mother with a crying infant who’d been waiting to use the only bathroom with a changing table and I felt SO bad. The second time I was using the bathroom at school and the other stalls were open, so I assumed it wasn’t a problem. Lo and behold, when I came out, my wheelchair bound friend was waiting there because no shit, she CANT USE THE OTHER STALLS!!! Yeah I felt really dumb. Now I only use that stall if it’s the only one available. Lesson learned.
I think that the disabled stall being the only open one is also something really important to consider (where it's a stall in a bathroom and not a separate room). Non disabled people will be in and out of it and if you have such urgency that you can't wait, it's better to use the toilet quickly than try and wait for a non-disabled one to open because having an accident in the middle of the bathroom will close down the entire bathroom until it gets cleaned up and then the two minutes it would've taken foe someone to use it in a busy restroom can turn into 20 or 30 minutes. Just make sure that if you're using a disabled stall you are only in there for as long as it takes to go and wipe and get out ASAP
My bathroom emergencies have caused me to be stuck for over ten minutes... at which point, I will go for the toilet that is available
I always get nervous using the disabled, that someone will be mad at me.
I’m autistic, trans and overweight, using the disabled toilet is what I prefer because it’s quieter, bigger and don’t have the stress of the badly passing middle ground of what gender I look like.
Wish toilets were just unisex single stalls
I'm the exact same here. I really don't want to go in the men's, I don't think I pass well enough to use the women's, it's quieter (and usually cleaner), and there's a much bigger space. Plus if I need to use the handrails (chronic pain sometimes acts up badly), they're there
I want all bathrooms to be single stalls too. I quite literally cannot make myself use the bathroom if there’s anyone else in there. I just have to sit there uncomfortably and hope that they leave before anyone else comes in
My one quarm with people using the disabled toilet as a gender neutral one is that I often have to wheel my chair though pee or simply can't use the bathroom. It would just be nice if men that used the disabled toilet for whatever reason sat down and don't treat it as a big urinal room.
@@alicerosetrevormusic Absolutely. I don't get why people can't just sit down to keep the bathroom & toilet clean
Good God. Checking all the illnesses off the list
There’s also the situation where the bathroom is on the smaller side and only has the disabled stall available alongside two other stalls. Meaning that if the two other stalls are occupied the disabled stall is the only option you have left, especially if someone is taking a bit long in the other two stalls.
I love this. I hate when people try to monitor the stall. I am ambulatory but often need mobility aids. But even when I don't I still need the disabled stall. I think people who don't need it and can wait for a regular stall should but I'm not going to monitor who's using it and judge a stranger and no one should.
Thanks for pointing out the urgency issue.
I only use the disabled toilet in my school (there are 400 hundred students and there is rarely a case where someone needs it) I personally use it more often because the space. Being in a very small cramped space (like the other stalls) can trigger panic attacks or paranoia. The stalls are bigger and against the farthest wall which makes it feel just safer in general. Also if I stand up to fast I begin to black out and the handrails have saved me from a few falling situations.
In places where a disabled toilet is just a bigger stall, if it isn't marked with a sign, most people won't know if they weren't previously informed that disabled toilets even exist. They'll think it's just a bigger stall. I used to use disabled toilets every chance I got as a kid because it was more fun. I eventually just started using whatever toilet was available, and more accessible, and as disabled toilets are always the furthest from the door, I never used them much anymore.
One time a year or two ago I used one and an old lady was waiting on me and I felt sooo bad-- so since then I more of avoid them, unless I know absolutely nobody is going to even enter to wash their hands, let alone someone needing to use that specific stall. And one time recently where I did use one because all of the others were taken.
I do have urinary issues but it's nothing to require a larger stall, it's at most an urgency issue.
as someone who’s not disabled but is plus sized, i prefer the disabled stalls for the extra room and i find it more comfortable but i do understand those who do need them
Thank you for your explanation and also your understanding of other peoples needs! I’ve used the disabled stall many times when my kids were toddlers and needed assistance using the toilet. The regular stalls are just WAY TOO SMALL (in America) to fit 2 people at a time..
The only people that really piss me off (pun fully intended) when they use the disabled toilets are the crowds of giggling teenagers who use it as a changing room and block the place for 15 minutes. That's pure selfishness.
If you need to use the disabled loo because you need the accommodations it provides or because there isn't another safe option for you, go at it. You're there to pee. If you're actively blocking it up without consideration for anyone else because you want to try on the new clothes you got in Primark, maybe don't. That's unfair on everyone else.
There are also temporary situations where a disabled toilet is the thing needed, like when I was out with my dad as a small child and I fell and landed in dog muck. Fortunately dad had a change of clothes for me, but it's probably best for everyone that he took me into the disabled loo to give me a wash and change me. To my mind that's not misusing it or being selfish, it's just the tool needed at that time.
I agree. I’ve used the bigger stall when I worked to change into my non work clothes cause I had to go to dance class right after but I went to the bathroom at the same time lol.
There are so many people at my school who do this during passing time. I can only predict that they are doing graffiti, drvgs, or just gossiping. There are many times when I have to walk to a different bathroom that is further from my class so I can use the disabled stall. (I have autism and claustrophobia, the stall makes me feel less trapped and tends to be more quiet because it's further from the hall and I would rather not have sensory overload while taking a piss)
This, this, this!!! I would like your comments multiple times, if I could! That's real misuse of these accomodations. Not able bodied people with invisible disabilities, mothers with babies in a stroller, older folks with or without a cane, people with autism or ADHD or claustrophobia or whoever else might get shamed for using disabled toilet, because they don't look (enough) disabled.
this used to have me so annoyed, i used the disabled toilet when i was in high school and often if i needed to go right when school let out i had to wait for groups of people changing in it. regular stalls weren’t even small in that school.
this!! during my school years some girls actually locked themselves in the disabled bathroom for hours. they only came out when the janitor was called to open the door :') those people suck, the accessible toilet is not a place to gossip, put on makeup or smoke cigs.
Thank you for mentioning the changing table! If there is one, its usually in the handicap stall. I have to take my two and four year old daughters with me to the bathroom. We all go together in the handicap stall so we can switch out me using the toilet, the four year old, and the potty training two year old who sometimes needs to be up on the changing station because of accidents. I always hope no one is waiting on us when we use it.
Fresh out of surgery (correcting scoliosis) I was limping a lot and I was with my mom for help. One time I wasn’t with my mom and I went to use the disabled toilet, a lady tried stopping me saying I didn’t need it. Mind you, I could barely wipe myself and let alone bend to sit on the toilet..
I wish all public toilets were single occupant, accessible, gender-neutral. I'm always worried someone will be mad at me if I use the disabled toilet even though I have social anxiety, panic attacks, autism, ADHD, and am non-binary. Needing to pee shouldn't be stressful. When I go out I usually try not to drink anything unless I know I'll be somewhere like a coffee shop that just has one cubical for all customers. Dehydration is preferable to working out which toilet I should use.
That's so true!! I relate to that a lot. When in public bathrooms I feel so uncomfortable having to pee next to other dudes especially since I'm a minor and the other people in the bathroom are usually adults. So I try to use the bigger stalls, not sure if they're the disabled stalls but I think they're wheelchair accessible.
Also stuff like invisible disabilities where it might not be easily seen at first.
I myself have multiple invisible disabilities like constant chronic pain due to neurological issues, multiple Sensory processing disorders, and improper bone development of the legs (Which doesn't have any visible indications untill hours of use where I'll have slight swelling of the knees and ankles but nothing else)
Not every disability will always be obvious and visible, and sometimes people don't "look disabled" at a first glance. 👍
I used to feel bad when I was younger when I learned that people shouldn't use the disabled toilets if they don't need it, because my first instinct was to always go to the disabled stall. I often went-and still do-go to the bathroom for autistic meltdowns, and to calm down, and the extra space of the disabled toilets helped so I could sit on the floor or pace around if I was too overstimulated to sit on the toilet. When I discovered that I'm physically disabled, as well, I use them all the time now because then I have the handrails to get up easier if I need it, as well as other reasons. Now I don't feel as bad for using them when I was younger because I subconsciously used the handrails to help myself up when I was (unknowingly) having a flare-up. :)
I actually used to use the disabled toilets all the time until moving on to the normal ones. I guess I just liked the extra space between the actual toilet and the hooks on the door
I used to use the disabled restroom in highschool when I would have panic attacks. It wasnt in the normal restroom and instead was a small private bathroom next to the nurses office and being able to use it really helped me get through the day ❤
I wish my HS had one omg
The disabled toilets at my uni are awful, one doesn't have a seat!
oof. That is really wrong. I heard rumors of people stealing toilet seats, but seriously, the disabled one!
I'm angry at the fact there isn't one!
Also, I'm French Canadian!
Huh, disabled toilet at my uni has half of a seat. I still wonder what happened about three weeks ago that the seat broke and when will they fix this. It was nice, spacious, clean toilet and it still is, just with half of the seat.
One of my breast cancer treatments left me with serious knee and back pain when going from sitting to standing or standing to sitting the handicap toilet helped. Now that I am cancer free and recovered from the treatment I rarely use the handicap toilet.
Sometimes id use it at my school for 2 reasons. Only a few people are disabled and arent needing it at the moment and 2 i have severe anxiefy so id usually go in there if i was having a panic attack or high anxiety day
In all my medical classes (in the states) they classified pregnancy as a temporary disability. The insurance also reconizes it as a disability that they will pay you for.
I used the disabled stall when I was super pregnant.
I have OCD and my best friend has autism, and the disabled/unisex/family bathrooms (usually a one room bathroom that works as all three) is the best option for us whenever we are. They're less used so they're usually much cleaner, they offer less sensory input from random hand dryers, sinks, and flushes, and the extra space just gives us both a nice private moment during the increased anxiety of being out and about. We trade off so one of us is always outside holding both purses/any shopping bags, and even with both of us taking turns we've only once held up an actually disabled person from using it, and he showed up as she was washing her hands so we really didn't slow him down much.
Not to mention, there are plenty of people with invisible conditions who dont *seem* to need it, but in reality a regular stall would be difficult or impossible for them. I understand with the urgency issues some disabled people face not everyone should be using them, but realistically unless someone is hogging it for 10 or 20+ minutes or leaving it totally destroyed, why try to judge others for using it?
I only use the disabled toilet when it's the only available stall and even then I get done as fast as possible
One time after I used the disabled stall, there was a disabled guy on crutches waiting. I felt bad. But like many others are saying, sometimes the disabled stall is the only one that’s available!
I only use the disabled toilet when it's the only one left or I need to throw up. When I throw up in restaurants I freak out if I don't have enough space
I have claustrophobia and the regular stalls get too small for me and make me anxious, so if i have an anxiety attack or sensory overload, anything that doesn’t trigger me is helpful
as a person with SEVERE balance and depth perception issues, as well as severe anxiety and claustrophobia, thank you for making a video explaining how many different people can benefit from a disabled toilet. i have really bad leg injuries that aren’t visible as well, so also explaining how some people may not “look” disabled is SO validating! ❤❤
I have contamination ocd and autism, and have been trying to get myself comfortable in public places again. One of the public places I’m working on getting comfortable in are public restrooms, so in order to make myself comfortable, I prefer the disabled stall to do my business in. It just gives me more space to be able to do what I need to do without having to worry about getting stuck in a small space.
I get it too, I also can’t stand strong smells. But I’m happy you’re doing exposure work, if you need any help Nathan Peterson does a few cool videos on exposures. He even did a contamination one.
I keep finding ur videos, and it always makes me further rage over the time that I needed the disabled toilet, only to go into the restroom and listened as one of the waitresses played on her phone inside of it for nearly five full minutes after I had announced that I was in the restroom. I'm pretty sure she got fired after I talked to her manager
I usually use the disabled toilet bc i have a service dog, but i just recently broke my leg and i could not fathom using the regular sized stalls with the cast and crutches
i also use them as a service dog handler its better for down stays and his tail wont end up in the other stall
I have major sensory issues (with ASD and ADHD) and I feel extremely uncomfortable going into the regular toilets. I definitely need to be in the disabled toilets. I don’t care how people look at me (if they look at me weird), I appreciate people’s understanding though ❤
I got convulsion seizures and have lost 2 teeth from being in a small bathroom and having a seizure while also having my body block the door. If I absolutely have to use the restroom in a public place I use the disabled one to lessen the chance of that happening again. Had a lady get confrontational with me for waiting to use that stall rather than the smaller ones. People are weird.
I am disabled plus nonbinary but i dont look either (i know they dont have a one look but i know people expect them to) i use mobility aids sometimes but not all the time so i often just end up using the womens bathroom even when the disabled one is more beneficial/easier to me...i say because i appreciate videos like these thank you
One of the only reasons why I would use the disabled toilet is either because there's no other toilets available or if I'm starting to have some mobility issues because even though I'm not diagnosed as disabled sometimes my joints will act up to the point that it hurts to move them and those railings make it so much easier to be able to get up and down when my joints are acting up other than that I do not use the disabled toilets I prefer to use the ones that are not disabled
And women with reproductive issues, my uterus is so enlarged and tilted due to adenomyosis that it puts immense pressure on my bladder and it becomes intensely painful when i have the urge to urinate. If the disabled toilet is the first toilet i come across then i am absolutely using it.
I have spacial awareness issues as someone with Autism. Looking at me you wouldnt think I needed to use them, but I often need to.
i mean the disabled bathrooms are designed for poeple who cannot easily access the normal stalls. if you struggle in a typical stall then you are free to use it! please dont feel like you have to justify it, not all needs are visible or obvious.
Sometimes on my period the handrails in the disabled stalll are a godsend (i have endometriosis)
Service dog trainers! In my high school with the service dog training program I was a part of, we often used the disabled toilets because we had dogs with us and needed the room! We weren’t really allowed to hand the dogs off to anyone during the day, and especially when we were in class and needed to go, it was hard to find the free handlers lol
I’m not disabled, but it was useful to be able to use the larger toilet
(Edited for spelling mistake)
As a man in most bathrooms there’s only two toilets and one of them is the disabled toilet so sadly we have to use them
So true. I have seizures basically everyday meaning i need the disabiled toilet as there enough room for me to safely have my seizures. Also i benefit from the emergency buttons there as i can get someone in quickly if im in danger. Not all disabilities are visible.
Important to also remember not all disabilities are physical or visible! Ive got pretty debilitating anxiety around other people and restrooms make this even worse (there are times where ive just elected to hold it if a stall wasnt available or didnt feel secure enough and some days i just suffer until I can find a private restroom because i just don't feel comfortable or safe) and the disability stalls extra size really helps me feel less anxious and claustrophobic. In addition, autism really messes with my motor function and makes a tiny stall a rather clumsy and even more claustrophobic experience, so having the extra space to move also helps with that too.
Instead of getting angry at people for using a stall that they honestly might genuinely need even if you cant tell why, we should focus instead on making restrooms more accessible in general for everyone
I used the disabled bathroom at an airport once (idk why, but I wasnt feeling too comfortable about using gendered bathrooms on the day). The queue for the main bathroom was super long and there was no one in the disabled bathroom so I went in and out as fast as possible because there wasn't anyone who obviously needed it. There was no one waiting to use it after I finished either so I didn't feel too bad going in there, and it meant I didn't hold my family up for our flight.
I don’t really have a physical disability. But using a public bathroom gives me extreme anxiety, and tight spaces tend to send me into an attack. Granted, I try not to use the disabled toilet often. But if the bathroom is empty? I'm usually quick
Yes I've had to use the disabled stall before because I use a stroller for my baby daughter when I go out and need to take her in the stall with me. Also if I'm waiting for an open stall and the disabled one opens up of course I'm going to use it. Love your views on this!
Yes i used to do this if there were no baby friendly stalls. I wasnt about to leave the baby and stroller or unsupervised toddlers outside a stall.
Also, sometimes the bathroom is just really busy, and you have no other choice. As reasonable as that may seem, once when I was in elementary school, my mom took me to Disney World because we had passes. This one bathroom was absolutely full of people, so when the handicapped stall opened, we both went in (i was little enough to get away with that) and we took turns. When we got out, some older lady in an electric scooter started yelling at my mom for using the disabled bathroom when other disabled people needed it (iirc, the bathroom had calmed down a bit by that point) so my mom tried her best to calmly explain. It feels like that anger was a bit unwarranted. While neither of us are/were disabled in a way that would require the disabled stall, it was literally the only available option other than waiting for another stall, and nobody waiting at that point specifically needed it