When Everything is Off Brand
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- Опубликовано: 17 дек 2021
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FAILURE MANAGEMENT SWEATERS
stevenheshop.com/
#Skit #comedy #Shopping
When I was 13 I went into a shop that had everything off brand, look around and finally found a legit bottle of coke. Bought it, Drank it, had the worst stomach ache of my life. The coke was Legit but 5 years out of date. That's why I made this video.
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Oot
First to like this comment rest of you are failures
We haven't got "Nord VPN"... We got "South VPN"! ("Nord" means "North" in German... Yeah it's a bad joke lol)
Oh no what's happened to your eye whatever ever it is I hope that it heals and the bejjing embassy doesn't hear from this message
Amazing
"You got Hersheys"
"We got he/hims"
Literally the best line
👞 I will send you to Jesus
LMAO i missed it bc the video was going a little too fast and now im laughing my ass off at this comment.
I get it now 😂😂
Deceased. 💀
My first ever comment to reach 1k likes...... Wow
Why this tho
When he said "Tournament of Failures", I knew Steven's Dad would buy that in a heartbeat. 🤣
League of Legends is Turnament of Failures the should rename the game after that.
@@user-nd4ij3zf3x I'm more confused of the #'s...
咯哦哦了
why did I think the dad was gonna say “THATS JUST MY SON PLAYING GAMES”
i knew he would buy five
"You got Call of Duty"
"We got Text of Job"
THIS LINE KILLED ME
Gator ade
"Oh no that's not Microsoft, that's * laughter * big hard."
"BEEEEEG HAAAAAAAAAAARD?"
Neighbors: 😰
"we have 5-day-depression"
"thats called WEEK DAYS"
god why is that so true
1k likes but 2 replies makes sense
Its hard to argue with his assessment
Weak days- now that’s more like it
Perfection
@@Punster101 what I thought
"We got 5-day depression"
"What the hell, they're called week days!"
That one was good af
🔥🔥🔥🔥
I didn't even process that one!
@@gmoney6935 same until I saw this comment… it’s definitely the best joke in the video I love his off brand videos
I almost died lmao
You mean school
“You got Quakers Oats “
“We got Jacob’s Nuts”
I made one also
"You got clash of clans"
"We got peace of kingdoms"
@@savitaruhella9573dude that’s actually good
@@savitaruhella9573you got Subway surfer?
Nah,we got planes fly
Person 1: what are you eating?
Person 2: Jacob’s Nuts
☠️
@@PurpleGuy661 "I love Jacob's nuts! They taste so good!"
“you got five hour energy?”
“we got 5 day depression”
that got me 😂
5 day depression somehow just synthesizes in my stomach every time right before it wears off. i’m depressed
"Thats called weekdays!"
Me too
Next episode should add 5 weeks depression haha
Next episode should add 5 weeks depression haha
"We've got tournament of failures."
"I'll take 5."
Legendary tier joke
don't you mean, failure tier joke?
@@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447 Hell yeah.
failure level statement
An enemy is a failure
bro you got minecraft?
nah dude i got yourmake
"Is that Matt Damon?"
"No, that's his cousin Carpet Damon."
"I will send you to Jesus."
Best. Line. Ever.
*I W I L L S E N D Y O U T O J E S U S*
You mean HaySues?
@@Brex10 I will send you to HaySues
👞
1:32
Famous quotes, “KOALA DETOUR” and “BIG HARD” said by Steven he, the guy who makes us laugh every day.
it was too funny even Steven couldn't help but start chuckling 1:09 best part of the video
I love how he couldn’t even hold his laughter when he said “oh that’s not Microsoft, that’s big hard”
Big hard what?
@@wolfpriest6954 it’s the opposite of Microsoft. Micro= small, so big. Soft is hard. So big hard.
Its a ‘thats what she said joke’ if u dont get it u dont get it
@@minijp1300 we’re you replying to ME or the other person??
@@meghanmedendorp3257 you could also say macrohard
"You got 5 hours energy?"
"We got 5 days depression"
That's the line that made me wheeze until I almost passed out
That's...
big.. hard....
KOALA THEATER
Fifth Day
Tournamental Failure
@@G4L4XYISIDK the hail you mean koala theater it’s koala detour😂 and tournamental failure? It’s tournament of failures.
@@G4L4XYISIDK 😂
IT'S CALLED WEEKDAYS HAHAHAHA
@@beidmoint1370 what the heck
The way the guy SCREAMED "BIG-HARD" with a straight face is magnificent
"Surely you have Hershey's"
"We have Hehims" 😭
“Thats not Microsoft, Thats big hard ”
"BIG HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!"
That's the line that made me wheeze until I almost passed out!! Literally the best line!! 🤣🤣🤣
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Two comment combination😆
@@rutherfordtryx2853 😂😂 you got me!!
I SAID THE SAME THING!
Yeeeeeeeessssssssssss 😂 😂 😂
“That’s big hard”
“BIG HARD”
I love this line, it really is great because he holds back his laughter
*insert me when ur mum joke here*
*insert me when ur mum joke here*
Should have called macrohard..but big hard is way funnier
That line is my favorite
That line is the best line
"You got ice cream?"
"We have fire milk."
"FIIRRE MILLLKK?!"
"Only from the angriest cows."
"You got 7 days to die?"
"We got 1 week to live"
Steven trying to control his laughter at the "big hard" bit was so funny
Explain the pepsi thing
lol
@@felixlee9645 cause it's pronounced as pep-see, so they sell the off brand version which is Pep-Hear
@@MrPP. I think it should've been Pepno since si in Spanish is yes
@@rosanafalcao4038 yes I was waiting for someopne to say that
"Oh no thats not Microsoft, thats Big Hard"
I love how he doesn't cut the part where he laughs at this, it makes it even more hilarious
Bigger Hard!?!?!?!
You’re every where I think saw you in Vtuber stuffs.
😂⚰️⚰️⚰️
Macrohard
I'm just gonna head to the orange store for a macpaperback
1:47 I was waiting for him to say,"Steven would love that"lol
This man deserves an Oscar 😂😂
I love how he couldn't even say "big hard" without laughing lol
probably best joke I've ever written
@@user-nd4ij3zf3x dude wtf
@@Celestial_Iris i knew this was gonna be there (its probably a bot)
I thought the same thing!! LMAOOO! 🤣🤣🤣
@@redstonulo yea it is, unless they comment on this comment.
Idky but “crocodile help” put me on the floor.
😂😂😂
@@StevenHe
Just saying, but Kitkat should’ve been Pupdog since baby cats are called kit/kitten and baby dogs are called pup/puppy.
@@amoeba_with_rizz
How is that an r/whoosh? He was obviously playing on the word ‘kat’ being ‘cat’ and making an opposite version. Kitcat. Pupdog. That would’ve enhanced the joke. What are you on?
@@kziila0244 just ignore him, just another braindead commenter looking for attention
@@kziila0244 I was thinking of adult dog
3:00 is it just me or is his laugh very contagious. I love it
As creative as you are, your Dad is right, one succeeds with more education. True even for comedians.
As an Australian I can confirm that “crocodile-help” is our favourite drink
But I cannot vouch for “koala-detour” as that’s just made by a company in another country that sells Australian food
Americans just don’t understand the beauty of crocodile-help 😔🤚🏼
@@yn-kun6538 I know right
@@Tech-Ultimate it’s a joke yeash
@@yn-kun6538 same
When the dad yelled “BIG HAAAARD?!?!” I nearly died laughing and crying!🤣🤣🤣
"Micro Soft"
Or gianthard
@@Finn_2_Win069 or GigaHard
😂😂😂😂😂😂💸😂💸💸💸
@WhitePhoenix no, bighard is funnier.
Dude! What did you do to your eye?! Don't hurt yourself doing these videos! They're so hilarious - I'm binging them all!
I like how you can visibly see him try his best to hold in his laugh
"You got 5 hour energy?"
"We got 5 day depression"
"What the he- it's called weekdays"
Yeah hes not wrong
That line was everything
*weak days*
you mean strong years
@@strayrunner0339 "you got weekends?"
"No,but we do got Monthstarts"
"You got Quakers Oats?"
"We got Jacobs Nuts!"
Second best line ever
I never gave consent
@@Poshman7 lel
@@Poshman7 How's the nuts goin
i took that with no context
that begs the question… what’s the first?
I'd love to watch these back to back; the brand alternative videos of Steven He (or Sarah She?) are incredibly funny. The guy is a comedy legend already at 20 something.
"you got Quaker's oats?"
"Nope we got Jacob's Nuts."
*I'm ded*
I’ve been seeing if someone said something about Jacob nuts
Jacob's nuts and BigHard
I think I see something
@@hottgirlsx3 same haha
SAY NO MORE
Some random rock: 🗿
"You got ice cream?"
"We got fire milk."
That one just about killed me. XD
Sounds melted?
It’s milked from the angriest cows
Sounds like mad milj
His reaction… OMG it was hilarious!
Same xd
Watched this for the first time while high. I'm still crying and my nonexistent abs hurt 🤣
dude when he said "cuwala detor " sorry im still laughing my lungs out so i cant spell proberly hahahaha!!!!
"I will send you to Jesus"
Clerk: Oh you mean Moist Cr1tikal?
Bro? Tf? You here too????????? I saw you mins ago!??????????
omg why are u everywhere
@@garredbell2159 because comment botting
LMAO
Hello guy
"I will send you to Jesus."
LITERALLY MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME.
edit: mom i’m famous
I don't know why that keeps catching me off guard but I'm glad it does
I was expecting a response to that!
@@pkphantom SAME ☠️
@@wdolgae hello :3
@@wdolgae "You can deliver me to Buddha"
I'm so glad people are repeating the jokes from this video in case I missed any.
You got RUclips?
No, we got MePipe
Okay surely you don't have Facebook?
We have BodyPhone@@ErenYeager-zf3td
No we got Facebook so
@@phyllisbach4160 Okay I'll take that one then
Got me dead laughing on the ground when you said “Big Hard”!
In my city there literally is a microsoft call-center named "MegaHard". Germany btw
@@schmollanski8976 hahahaha
@@schmollanski8976 😳😳😳
Just as a follow up it actually is certified by Microsoft and the building is painted in the four colors of the Microsoft logo. Gotta go see if I would be able to take a picture since there is like no picture of it online and not even Google Streetview but it is a fair bit away from my home so have to see first.
BiG HaRd!!!!
"You got ice cream?"
"We got fire milk"
this is so good
Or
“Dove chocolate?”
“BIRD”
only from the angriest cows
This is my wheezing moment, fucking Fire Milk! 🤣😂🤣😂
Who doesnt love fire milk?
What's your favorite hehim snack
The Jacob's nuts got me 😂😂
The "ĶØÃŁÃ ĐĒŤØØØÜŘ‽!" bloopers are in my head rent free now
Cashier: "Tournament of failures"
Steven's dad: "Hey my son is in that"
"tournament of failures"
Stevens dad: TAKE MY MONEY
HAHAHA it's only steven
@@StevenHe this is like sprint video, but faster
Yeah, copyright money
@@StevenHe and he still cannot win
Yooo, another banger from Steven!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Party Special for you
💋 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/SIESTA?Party 💋.
Gaze: "Amazed"
Lips: "Sensual"
Smile: "Sweeter"
Body: "Colder"
Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Party Special for you
💋 NUDE.SNAPGIRLS.TODAY/SIESTA?Party 💋.
Gaze: "Amazed"
Lips: "Sensual"
Smile: "Sweeter"
Body: "Colder"
Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾
OH NEVER KNEW ZIG WAS HERE lol
just like he banged his head
Hi ZigZag
@@slimetree like last week or the week before
I love the Winnie the Pooh stuffies in the back and the sensory bottle you used for the "Crocodile Help."
O I have some ideas if that’s ok
Stevan : do you have ketchup?
Worker : no sorry we have slowdown
Stevan : ok do you have mustard?
Worker : sorry we have musentfrog
"You have Quakers oats?"
"No we got Jacob's nuts"
PLEASE THAT PART GOT ME DYING
OMG TY FOR THIS BOOTIFUL COMMENT
"Gatorade"
"Crocodile health"
"Where this from"
"Australia"
That made me laugh so hard🤣🤣
i thought its crocodile help ngl
@@acidicblitzen2072 It is. Gator Ade sounds like Gator Aid, hence Crocodile Help.
I live in Australia and this is so accurate😂
It was crocodile help for Gator'aid'
Mumbling “Of course… 😒”
Made me laugh harder than it should.
It's so funny when he says "Koala Detour!"
"We have 'Tournament of Failures'". LOL, I lost it.
"You got quaker oats, no we got Jacob's nuts" that made me laugh so hard
I know SAME!! 😂
This one hit me the most I fell out the chair.
ironically we have Jacob's nuts in australia 🤣
agreed my hand couldn’t do anything cuz i was laughing so hard
Do they have Jacob's sausage aswell
I had to pause the video to burst out laughing at
“Fiiiiiiire Miiilk?!”
“Jacobs Nuts”
And “Koala Detour?!” 😂😂😂
“BIIIIG HAAAAARD???!?!?!?!”
“We got tournament failures”
“We got 5-day Depression”
口哇喇低拖！！！！！
jacobs nuts 👀
The way you broke saying "that's big hard" got me dying
man this is hilarious .... got yourself another sub man.....this is gold good job man ....
1:36 every time Steven's dad says "I will send you to Jesus" I laugh uncontrollably
I have ruined the haha funny number
Seeing his dad yell “BIG HARD” at the top of his lungs broke me 🤣🤣🤣
They're the same person, hence the bandage in the same spot in both characters
@@rysterstech I know lmao, I’m talking about the character. That’s a pretty central thing to understand about his content
@@leovaldez680that's the store employee bro
@@rysterstechNah bro its Steven's dad and the store employee what you on about dawg
This made me laugh and rage at the same time😂😂😂😂
The ungodly audio quality when he yells Big Hard gets me every time 😂
Salesman: We have Tournament of Failures
Steven's Dad: I'll take five!
You can't name all your kids the same
@@wessltov i know they names:
Failure
Failur
Fail
Fatality
Failur 2
💀
FC Szfh
@@Haber-boschbruh 😂
"Let me guess, authentic Chinese food, panda express?"
"..."
"..."
"...koala detour"
"*throws shoe* KOALA DETOUR?!!!"
fantastic and hilarious
A lot of celebrities go there!
KOALAS ARE NOT EVEN CHINESE
I'm surprised he didn't throw it at "Beeeeeega Haaaaaaad"
@@gabrielzinho3230 it has to go down to Australia and back, that's why it's a detour.
Koalaaaaa detooooooouuur!
Your 'what the hell' sounds so felt and genuine. Greetings.
I like the muffled gong sound whenever he's impressed 😀
“I will send you to jesus” should be your merchandise. I’d wear that hat/shirt
With a slipper in a hand!
We demand this merch, Steven. Stop being a failure and make it happen!!!!
That's what my mom said to me when I messed up in front of the family
@@krithikasaikrishnan622hasn't opened a business with one foot.
“It tastes like how Rick Astley sounds.” Literally the best line ever
It bothers me that there’s a certain percentage of the world’s population that knows this & can confirm! 😅
Yeah it is 👌
💀
Nice Rick Roll
must taste amazing then
The tone when he screamed “BIG HAAARRRRRDDDDDDDHHHHH” Was when I knew he would start dying
1:07 that jokes never ceases to make me laugh
His reactions and him getting scared when he sees em is the funniest
"You got Dove chocolate?"
"We got *B I R D*."
I don't know why, but the delivery just SLAYED me.
Fire milk
*B I G H A R D*
KOALA DETOUR
Jacob’s Nuts
Mountain View
1:12 "BIG HARD" Sounds like a heavy duty hardware store.
BIG HAAAARD??! makes me laugh all the time
BIIGA HAAAAAARDA
sounds like something an anime character would scream
Bigcomputer Hardware
The carpet Damian followed up by i will send you to jesus had me laugbing so hard
I love the way he grabs a random water bottle
0:49 "We've got 5 day depression. It called Weekdays" That just summarizes our entire human life and existence.
Weekdays more like weakdays
we got Jacob's nuts
wickdays
preetty sure that’s just called school.
@@115GumGobbleryes
“You got Burger King?”
“We got Pizza Queen.”
“You got Dollar Tree?”
“We got Quarter Bush.”
“You got McDonald’s?”
“We got McDavid’s.”
“You got Kentucky Fried Chicken?”
“We got Utah Steamed Beef.”
"You got Pizza Hut?"
"We got Calzone Shack."
"You got Taco Bell?"
"We got Burrito Chime."
"You got Starbucks?"
"We got Sundollars."
I mean I got Queen’s Pizza
“Do you have Ocean Spray?”
“No we have Lake Squirt.”
‘Fire milk’ got me 😂
"Do you have jolly ranchers"
"We have depressed ranchers"
"DEPRESSED RANCHERS???? How do those taste like?"
"They taste like your life"
My favorite gift is after the ads, where we get to see that Steven is a person with feelings, and not just a supercomputer of quality comedy. It always makes me happy to see the bloopers.
"Thank you for sponsoring this video"
"KOALA DETOUR!?!"
That sounds more like an australian fastfood restaurant.
I love how Steven’s dad just summoned the slipper to his hand using his Asian powers
It was invented before physics.
@@maxplaysgamesmore8552 it was invented before school
It was invented before my life insurance
"You got Hersheys "
We got he him's..
This one got me.. 😂
"I will send you to Jesus" gets me every time😂
"We got 5 day depression"
"WHAT THE HE- they're called week days"
my favorite part
“You got Skyrim?”
“We got GroundCenter.”
“Fine, I’ll just go to target.”
“Oh, you mean Arrow!”
“I will send you to Jesus.”
“We got Susej.”
“What da hail?!?”
“We got what the heaven?”
You got assassin's creed?
No we got medic's club
“You got Roblox?”
“We got Orspherez”
You got minecraft?
No we go blockplacer
@@WEENUS157 digbuild
I WILL SEND YOU TO JESUS “you mean hesus?” (How Mexicans say Jesus)
I love 5 hour energy
Hello kitty?
Goodbye puppy.
Ghost rider?
Spirit transport.
Now you got me doing it 🤣
1:28 XD His reaction!
“KOALA DETOOOUR!?”
It could’ve been Monkey Fast!!
1:29
mans turned into Captain ginyu XD
@@MintFrog FAST MONKEEEEE
The “I will send you to Jesus” line took me by surprise and it made me actually laugh out loud
Wherever these places that Steven keeps going, I think he should pass it along to Julius from Everybody Hates Chris. He'd love all this off-brand stuff.
Oh man! Love this guy! One of my best friends growing up was Chinese and his parents were just like this guy:) they were my favorite!
Salesman: "We have Tournament of Failures."
Steven's Dad: "Shut up and take my monies!" 😂
Literally rebranded the ranked experience
“Actually it’s called nomies”
"You got ice cream?"
"We got fire milk."
"Fire Milk?"
"Comes from the angriest cows." I nearly died lol.
We call those dragons🤣🤣
Same 😂😂😂
As an angry cow,I died instantly
@@valentineshearter1807 😂😂😂
@@ghostcowbo
*reads comment*
*reads username*
…yep, that explains everything
"That's not MICROSOFT, that's BIG HARD"
“BIGHARD”
That was so funny it literally hurt
Steven's dad: "You have Quaker's Oats?"
Cashier: "We have Jacob's nuts."
Me: *laughing my a** off."
*Jacob’s nuts
@@thenightshadowyt9309 oh shoot i thought he said Jacob's balls srry and thx!
Me being Jacob
\:|
@@jacobsteelman3653 oh I see now srry tho
Shakem Nuts
"It's like Mountain Dew but in 4K." holy shit that got me laughing on the floor
big facts.
@@StevenHe we don't have that but we have little truths.
@@Blazin_Heart shouldn't it be little lies? Lol
@@SliferStreaming no bc then it would not be a proper offbrand
@@Blazin_Heart the name seems to be the opposite of the actual name
I literally laugh so hard at this and that's saying something cuz I don't even flinch at channels like Roscoe McGillicudy!