my sister has said this two time in her/my life. One was when I was 20 years old old and pregnant. She said "I didn't know!" The last time was recently when she learned I had cancer and had to have chemo, "I didn't know!" Of course you didn't. I don't exist for you.
Kelli McCumber I beg to differ! My narc has sobbed with tears weeping looked me in the eyes and said “I’m sorry!” I know she didn’t mean it though. Some are better actors than others.
@Dizzy Tell me about it. I am very suspicious of everyone due to narc abuse. It's CRAZZY. The sad part about it, is that the truly genuine nice people might be ignored and disrespected by me. I am so ashamed of this.
Let them expose themselves. Sooner or later there will be occasions where the situation can be utilized to let them show who they are. Work with that and dont intterupt when they are making mistakes.
This is so amazingly spot on. I’ve come through all this The PTSD and reclusive behaviours. I am strong and clear and will never let these monsters control me again. I laugh in their faces. I’ve let so many beautiful people in my life now. My best friend said I am like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. The fear I lived with for my entire laugh has gone. Thank you MTE
So happy for you. Good to hear of a good outcome because I fell in this hard, face first and I can't or don't know how to disconnect from my ex narc, the anguish is the hardest to overcome. I feel alienated and so unloved, before I met this narc, I was loved by so many and he ruined all of it for me, I allowed it, and now I'm dealing with this on my own. But ya, the anguish is unbearable !
I spent the last 10 years of my life with a severe narcissist. Must have spent days and days of my life just trying to explain to her why I wasn't what she claimed, and I didnt deserve the anger she had. NOW Completely different. Once you know what a narc is, its gave over. Now Im the boss. I got my power back that was taken for 10 years. Once you know, DO NOT give them the argument they desire, or the emotions or anger they want you to feel. Thats your power against them.
Thomas Hernandez Here in the USA, we say..."Stick to your guns and don't waver!" When you KNOW that you're in the right, stick to your truth. If the other person can't properly deal with it and accept it, move on! People often times don't change and time moves too quickly to wait for a person to grow the hell up and change. Narcissists DON'T grow up and never change for any longer than once they've figured out how to manipulate you into you giving them what they set out to get out of you. Never argue and debate with a narcissist. There is no win with trying to reason and rationalize with one. Keep that in mind! They're psychologically damaged goods. The only good narcissist is a narcissist out of your life!
Thomas, what I did, when I finally realized there was something terribly wrong with my husband, was to educate myself as much as possible about people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and people with dominant narcissistic traits. It has helped me so much just to understand what I am dealing with, after ten years with this man. He fits every single one of the criteria for NPD. He has almost destroyed me, but I'm strong and he will not beat me. It is very damaging to be with these people for a long time. Now I'm in the process of healing my own issues, which caused me to attract narcs in the first place. The upside to being with him is that it forced me to face the issues I had that would lead me to become involved with narcs. It is not easy to change, but worth it. Narcs are always attracted to me (infj/empathic), but I now recognize the disorder sooner, and engage my boundaries. I do not feed the ego of narcs. They ARE their ego. Narcs are energy vampires, which one way to tell if you're in the presence of one. If you find yourself becoming drained, tired, sick and just generally exhausted while talking with someone, then odds are they are sucking and draining your energy from you. These are a few things I have learned over the past 2 years or so, and I definitely recommend researching into it if you believe you are dealing with a narc. I am not a young woman any more, but I know I deserve better than what my narc husband has "given" me (which was trauma, heartbreak, anger, resentment, etc). I realized very early on that something wasn't right, but denial can be very powerful. The illusion they create is very strong, and it can be hard to break free from the hope that things will improve. When you finally realize that it has all been a lie, a sham that you "fell for", you can then begin to extricate yourself from the narc. Believe me, you do not want to waste another minute on this type of person. I have prayed to God to "fix" my husband, so maybe I would not have to leave him, but I can't fathom His will concerning this; all I know is that I owe it to my family and myself to let him go for good. If you aren't sure the person in question has NPD, then whatever issues you experience with this person could be searched for info to enlighten you. Either way, I wish you well. Sorry for long reply, was venting a little too, I guess. May God bless you and keep you.
Gads Bee this sounds like you’re talking to me my husband is to narcissist and I’ve been married to him for 10 years and have two kids he controls everything money won’t even buy groceries doing everything I can to get out of the situation for me and my children and this guy makes over $6000 a month but refuses to buy basic necessities for his children and his wife. I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel and he’s a serial cheater!!
its always good to grow as a person....however i greatly resent the fact that it seems victims always have to be nearly perfect while the evil narc literally gets away w/ murder....humanity is so shitty, we need to evolve and be more spiritual and not ever tolerate dishonest and evil people no matter if they are damaged.
The reason why we and the earth are dying as a species is due to this type of disease. We let diseased minds rule the world and then say..dont tell. Even when its a sociopath. Its why more #metoo movements need to change the world. Its the very do nothing ignore-ance that creates anything but bliss and why abuse especially sexual is at an all time high. Stand up and speak out or be a Neanderthal and never grow as a species. The old male paradigms need to die
The term "evolve" is a bit too new age for me. I mean, I don't treat people the way in which the narcissist would and it probably has a lot to with the way I was raised. Granted I have most likely expressed narcissistic traits at times. Definitely have. Idk. Some people have empathy and others don't.
Regarding is "exposure" thing, you are 100% right! Everything that a narcissist does is to keep you in the dark, and the only way out is to either give up (and be annihilated) or heal your wounds, find your light, then shine it and stand in it authentically without fear (and it needs to be really bright, soul scorching bright).
Exposing a narcissist is absolutely necessary especially when that narcissistic is your parent. Why should I have to endure years of battering and not letting others know of the real wolf nicely dressed up in sheep’s clothing
Cheryl Stewart you obviously don't know what she went through to understand what she's saying. We get hurt by others when we don't really take care if ourselves. That means rejecting any and all abuse st all times and immediately
Hi Paula, it's very important to come from a place of calm, maturity and solidness and that's comes AFTER you have shifted and released all the trapped trauma inside of you. Before that time a narc will most definitely trampled all over you. I would love to show you how to heal for real in my free webinar Paula, so you can experience the difference xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
I never wanted to look at my inner child because I never liked her. This past year, I finally have seen the importance of acknowledging those behaviors of when I was little that would appear as an adult when presented with fear. I have been able to see. my inner self and how she feels, always acknowledging that little girl but then reminding myself of who I am today...an adult, safe and capable! It's been the shift from feeling bad to feeling good. As my sister drove by the city where I live , without calling me, I felt those feelings of inadequacy surface. However, I realized that it was that little girl. I paused and acknowledge her and let her do what she always have done by waving from the side of the road or in the middle of a room saying " See me... I am here!. I am lovable." I then visualized my adult self waving...this time saying "Goodbye sister. I am that sorry our life was so difficul. We were doomed from the very beginning however that was yesterday and today I no longer believe your lies.i am done." Absolutely the most powerful moment I have ever felt. It's been a long hard journey but thank God I made it to the other side. I have been reborn!
Truth that's the keyword here. The truth does set you free and it is so hard when you are being portrayed as crazy, and the perpetrator/s push buttons when witnesses there! Difficult, However, joining your inner self just as Melanie states, authentic not false or revengeful or what others want, your truth, your needs, it does work. Some dismiss you, lots of narcs around these people as well, flying monkies as well. When you breathe, think, then button pushers can't take it and they do start unraveling - amazing. If you trust anyone at this horrific time in your life, trust & love yourself more and Melanie's team they know this stuff - pure Angels in disguise. So truly grateful.
You are so right, trying to tell people and feel like you have allies makes it worse. People who have not experienced this do not understand. Then you end up looking crazy and justifying what the narc is trying to paint you to be. I have found you to be the most informative about this topic. Thank you Melanie.
@jenni I see this comment is a year old but hopefully you see it. This is exactly where I've gotten so stuck and can't move past. I've found it hard to even have any friends in my life who wanted to stay ''neutral''. I feel like I can't be honest or myself or talk about what happened. Even when they can see it from the outside that something wasn't right, they either remain silent about it (condoning?) or awkwardly look the other way about it and pretend it doesn't exist. It hurts so much. I can intellectually see that no one is responsible to save me. It still often feels like abandonment though. I've found myself isolated and then further self isolating due to this. How to heal this? How to process this? Maybe Melanie can make a video about this?!
I have been recoiling from her for about a year now and during this time, through energy work and good books, have come to realize my fears, which you have outlined so beautifully. I have finally gotten to the point where I am not afraid in her presence, where her attempts to intimidate me are actually intriguing and sometimes even amusing. I have noticed that she is the one who now recoils, hides, pretends to be busy, leaves the scene when I arrive. To win this game by empowering myself rather than by hating on her, feels so good. Thank you MTE, you're the best!
I covered up for my abusive mother for over 50 years. Part of my healing occurred when I exposed the abuse to my extended family (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.); one less load to carry. Even when my narcissist ex-husband road up on me unexpectedly, I was calm and collected, no anxiety, ...I didn't have to "try" to do anything. Plain ole natural "exposure".
When I interact with my female parent now I have the perfect move. I use my phone to record the conversation. Her greatest fear is to be revealed….she knows I know….and I will show relevant people the footage. You should see it! Narcissist behaving and treating the scapegoat…like a human being! Miracle! It only took me 50yrs but I found the “Golden Ticket” 😉🙏🤞
It's cute how her cat is slowly, kneading, taking his time, like it's enjoyable satisfying work for him, meeting his emotional needs! :) Look to the far right, her cat has his back to the camera, and is moving back and forth, with the kneading motion of his claws on the couch cushion. He's a happy camper.
I forgot to add that it is your last two videos that I watched which includes this one that taught me to fix me. I started learning about narcissism and everything when I thought I had completely lost touch with reality and it has taken this long but it is your face that I was looking at on my phone when I finally got it. don't fix them, fix self! I went through confusion, anger, sad, guilt, shame, and so much more studying and trying and you helped me quote get it! it changes so much. Thank you thank you thank you!
Can a narcissist truly love God due to their love of self protection? Remember it says for the good of those who love Him. Most narcissists are not capable of true love ~ not even truly of themselves ~ they can appear to love themselves but they are so annihilated they have created a false persona.
Mary Myers: As the daughter of, the ex-wife of, and the mother of narcissists who profess to be Christian... they fake it. Those close to them can tell the truth. There is no real fruit in their lives. And there are MANY hiding, working their evil deceit and abuse of power in the church at all levels. It's all about them and being recognized publicly as "good" citizens in the community. They are not there to glorify and worship God for who He is. Source of narcissistic supply for them, and part of their public "facade".
I still don't completely understand what my narc did to me. She triggered my temper, and made me feel paranoid. Like she was cheating on me or something. It was all very subtle, and seemingly planned out in meticulous detail. I told her to get lost and not to contact me. I don't think she meticulously planned for that.
I learned that the covert narcs induce jealousy by some of their behaviors. I don’t know if they are always aware of it. However, when secrecy or something seems off, its natural to go into alert mode (possible paranoia!) and when something is said to narc, of course, they aren’t doing anything. :-). You’ve just got “trust issues” or think the narc is always “betraying”. The narc is “loyal”. Yada yada. Nothing like a good jealousy fight to make the Narc feel loved and us to feel insecure (implanted insecurity tripling any real insecurity that may be dormant or lower level at first). Wild!
It's a spiritual battle , ask in JESUS NAME that it return to its rightful owner, this is the spirit of strife that the narc brought with them , it's not yours , it's theirs. And once you've washed your self , keep it that way.and to be sure , it the spirit will not give easily , but you WILL overcome .
Melanie Tonia Evans I have been youtubing about all of this stuff for a year-and-a-half now. Working and growing inside. I have bounced around to different people and about six months ago I ran into you and listen to some stuff and liked it and then it seemed to get too heavy for me and I would bounce out again but I kept coming back to you at different times. it's like I wasn't ready yet so I would go away from you, take more time, grow some more, come back to you and learn some more. same thing it would start to get too heavy so I would bounce out and come back to you and then I could absorb some more of what you were teaching me. I am so very thankful for you! I am up to this point of teaching and I will not give up. thank you so very much. although I am so impressed and so very happy for who you are I just wished you had not had to go through all your hurt and pain to get there. I guess that's how it works :-)
God bless you my sister!!!! I am going through this and the people I expect to know me actually think I am the one with issues all because I'm angry the narcissist in my life is driving me crazy. I am glad you described the narcissist in my life to the letter
Thank you for posting so many new videos recently, I always look forward to them. Please keep posting!!! You're so helpful and such a beautiful person! Thank you :)
Kate Grace. hi my question is how well does does male and female narcissitlast in a relationship or how does tha go . I am two weeks of no contact with him but I am getting all these phone calls from un known numbers. as though he's programing my phone switching numbers and fraud sites recommend for me I am light and stable and after twenty five yrs of single parenting and ten months of all his drama thank God for savoring great heart ace . I am not a narcissist just waned to know because he called me one as well. merry Christmas and thanks again
Sheila Nakatani hi! I'm having a bit of a hard time understanding what you are asking. What would you like to know? From what you're saying it sounds like stalking to me. I would continue to block the numbers if this is making you uncomfortable and if need be, possibly contacting law enforcement if you feel that threatened and afraid. I'd need a little more context to understand what's going on but it sounds like projection with calling you a narcissist. I am still trying to go no contact but keep slipping up, it's not easy.. but what has helped me is learning to focus on what i do want in life and tapping into that knowing of my own value and self worth. Remembering that what these people are saying about you is not true.. What helps me is to notice that literally he's the only one in my life that seems to say such terrible things about me.. this helps me remember that it's not about me and that it's about him. Hopefully that helps! :)
This amazing woman helped me move through one of the worst times of my life. Thank you. I had a ten year relationship with a narcissist. And am so proud to say that I am free. I still have healing to do. Maybe even a lifetime of healing. But, I’m free!!
I said everything and anything i was thinking, to him. Before going no contact. I was so frustrated. Now no contact for almost one year. Was wrong saying all those things and stalking him.
Great points, I’ve needed to email mr.NPD & ive kept it kind, polite & understanding. There will be a record of reasonable requests, so that when it has to come to light, the fact that those requests have been ignored it will be evident that there was no cooperation at all. He used to complain that I was always writing to him, (we were often long distance) I always made a point of being aware that it would be read by members of his entourage so I always communicated factually & reasonably. I’m not worried at all if any of my communication comes to light, it was all from the heart & was based on my attempts to conduct a normal healthy relationship in a hugely abnormal context. I was afraid when we first broke up but I’m not anymore, I feel ready to deal with things now. Thank you so much Mel your videos are so supportive & thought provoking & always help to allay the fear that dealing with these intensely unreasonable people engenders. Blessings on you & your kitties xxx
Thank You so much for doing this video,I am 53yrs old and grew up with a Narcissist Mother,it was horrible to say the least of how she made me feel all those years,but at that time I didn't even know what Narcissist was?. I have gone to therapy recently for 6 months with a therapist,to whom I am grateful,and it really helped me to understand and deal with how it has affected me ,most of my life. Currently I am also dealing with another serious Narcissist in my Family and I have realized that I cannot please that person no matter what,I have been persecuted and put down,and I did try to somehow make it better,but it just got worse and worse.........now I have accepted it,because I realize that I am not the problem,and adding to the situation only enables that person to make it rougher for you.
I did this, i never attacked my narsersist who attacked me for having eperleptic sezurs and having holes in any of my stories, and not able to fly, being a person, who never run from the truth. I did change and found my peace within my self, and now im happy again.😊😊😊😊😊😊
This video is amazing!! I feel so understood!! Im divorcing a Narcissist and I feel it is difficulty to explain to others what goes on because I get so confused with all the distortion of facts, changing what he says every 5 minutes, lies, etc. I feel I can’t keep up. Other feelings of anger have arisen towards my mother. They have come up recently during this time. Because she has been married to my father for her entire life and he is a Narc. And she has just always said this is how men are, they are difficult, you are idealistc for thinking your gonna find something more, your living in fantasy land etc.. and I didnt want to belief her but subcounciously I did and played out everything the same way. Even during my marriage ahe would say the same thing.. horrible. Very painful.
Melanie, another great video! I agree that bringing narc's "out into the light" in terms of open communication with friends, has really kept me safe. Until I heal the wounds in me that make me vulnerable (and your wonderful modules along with my therapist are really helping), this is a way to make sure he doesn't pull his usual routine. Thank you!
I feel so lucky that I'm not related to a Narcissist. Phew!! To add: Sadly, I'm here for a freind. Luckily my friend's narcissist nightmare only lasted less than 90 days. These RUclipss helped bring it to a swift close. Thanks!
I would like to add to this already excellent video...basically the narcissist is an expert at detecting our using of covert means towards a goal. The most frequent reason we try to use covert means instead of overt means is a lack of an honest evaluation of our own resources and capabilities (we all think we are 10 feet tall, with the brain of Einstein, and skilled at everything), so that we feel we need to go about reaching a goal in ways that we cannot publicly expose, as opposed to hard work and dedication, or just acknowledging that something is out of our reach, at least for the time being. And in today's society, the two ways we are trapped into this infernal circle are money and sex - we all want tons of them, regardless of our ability to get them (and the fact that they will not give us happiness). In this sense, the narcissist is a very pure individual, in that they are completely indifferent to either, they just need to see people suffer, it's all they need to feel happy. When we start to fight the narcissist without the extra baggage, having come clean about who we are and what we can really get from life, we win every time. Thanks Melanie for your videos.
my covert vindictive psychopathic Narcissus has not only destroyed me but he's involved the family that I had the courage to walk away from years ago because of there abuse by there narcissus attitude.This friend has alienated me from everyone not one person will hear a word when I try to tell them I'm the victim.Hes manipulated everyone into believing him along with all his new group of people that even he doesn't like.
What you have described is unfortunately a 'normal' occurrence and my heart goes out to you Steven. If you would like to heal the wounds and rebuild a new life for yourself I would love you to have my free resources to help you blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ xoxox
Interesting! Apparently YOU'RE engaging in behavior that attracts these types of people. I've done that on several occasions and learned late how to better deal with that crap. Family and so-called friends can be super toxic and difficult in letting go. You're going to have to learn which aspects of your personality are very good and healthy, keep those things and then rebuild yourself from the good aspects of yourself reinventing newly found good parts of yourself to make a whole great person bringing better people into your life. Those new good people will fill any void you may be feeling or experience once you've successfully removed all of the toxic ones from your physical and psychological spacings! Good Luck! You can do it and will love it and yourself better!
I’ve had the same experience with a ‘family member’!! I ended up cutting all of those people out of my life as well as the abusers I left behind all those years ago. Then after years of no contact the narc messages me to tell me how terrible I am etc etc For the first time I stopped blaming myself for everything and said I knew all about the lies and manipulation etc and I wasn’t going to just accept this crap anymore. Ahh the bloody cheek of it. I’m owed an apology if anything. The narc tried to tell me she had ‘looked at herself’ hahaha probably only in the mirror because a narc lacks the ability to care about the impact of their behaviour on others.
so Tania ... you believe that all of the fam members that the narc placed against you are not worth going back to righ????? that's one subject that is worth figuring out.... (thanks hun)
Thank you so much for being so clear about what narcissists do. I've been dealing with a narcissistic mother in law for 20yrs and i could never explain what it is and what she does. We've almost been divorced so many times, but now i have your help. Thank you
So by continually repeating positive phrases to ourselves, we begin to realise that all of the negative things we have been taught about ourselves by the narcs, can be shifted to positive ones. ( positive affirmations) Much like erasing a negative recording about ourselves & replacing it with the truth. When we remove toxic ppl from our lives, love is all that remains & truth is all there ever was. Clearing out the fog..looking forward to having loads of fun this weekend. Thanking your gorgeous self Melanie..💓
I have a long fight ahead I don't know when the next attack is coming and to what degree, The lies keep mounting, the family see her as mother Teresa yet she had more affairs than fingers on my hand. She has cleaned the bank, the only two people who believe me are my two children yet she keeps them from me. I got out and have no contact,I am trying to heal my soul take my life back, I live alone and can sometimes smile at how stupid I was to take all this abuse only to find out that I am a alcoholic among the people I do business with, I have maybe a drink once a month yet she drinks every day. Yet somehow I know the truth will prevail when she finds her next victim. Melanie you are a great inspiration. I am healing myself first.
Report that broad to social services, get custody of your kids and live your authentic life. Allowing your children to legally stay with their drunken mother will build up resentment towards you from your children. Imagine what might be going on in the household at your absence! Children often grow up and don't express themselves to you until perhaps a year or less while you're on your death bed and it's often too late to help bring them enough emotionally that they need to get past or beyond. Get legal custody or your kids and start the healing process as soon as possible. Drunkards are a special kind of toxic filth that truly destroy innocent people and people none deserving of their liberally given ilk! Good luck to you!
Wait if the narcissist is your only care giver and live alone with the narcissist? I just got a job but life has been very rough all this time. Pure abuse with no one to see it.
Have listened to you for about 6 years now, and so appreciate your incredible insight into narcissism! You so understand yourself, healing, and "source". You are all over it, yet don't acknowledge it as God, and the way Scripture describes believers are not to worry, fear or respond to criticism from others. And he will intervene in our behalf when we trust him and seek him with a whole heart. Not always the way we think He should, but He's omnipotent, sees all, and He's got us, and has given us everything we need to live an authentic and purposeful life. For me, your materials sort of "marry" the two worlds together, and I know God within me is the source of strength, and He has directed my path and landed me on my feet after 24 years married to a covert narcissist who tried to set me up, alienate the children and my family, and destroy me before I even knew what was going on. I knew something was wrong, but could not conceive of such an evil heart, or what was uncovered after we split. He convinced our marriage counselor (who split us up/did not do joint counseling), with his psychology major sister's help, that I was the problem. His whole family "grey rocks" me, which works right into his plan to keep us separated so they will never know his truth. I found everything -- affair, escort services, addictions -- that they know nothing of. Was so isolated by then I really was almost broken -- he told me I'd "find myself all alone" one day. They really do tell you what they're up to; just have to have keen understanding to recognize it. Have lost a lot, including alienated children that he still charms and bribes with $$. The new wife has no idea what she got herself into. And I already see the pattern unfolding in their life just observing the way he treats her when I pick up the children. Anyway, so thankful for you! You are the most knowledgeable and effective and practical narcissism expert in the world, and I have listened/researched/read all the famous "counselors" and experts. Your words have put understanding and healing into my life... even confronting the insecurities in my own life that I didn't want to face. Forever grateful!
Aww thank you Vicki and I am delighted my work has helped you. This blog may interest you sweetheart www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/religion-spirituality.htm Love and blessings to you xoxox
AUTHENTIC! I think it's best to love and forgive and give everybody a chance knowing they are capable of change, I think we see the world as we are, I do like the idea of having everyone together in the sane room, should there be a problem. Minding our own business, anytime i tried helping it turned on me, I have healed and am willing to love and trust again.
So good and liberating to feel exactly what you're talking about! This is serious work and it's not about the rationalization... it's FEELING the space within that goes beyond words that makes it so incredible. Living in the quantum world is a whole new skill set that is felt within. It's hard to explain - it's truly a natural psychedelic experience. It is like seeing the once invisible staircase. Once you feel it, you see it... Don't give up.
I am in love with Mel, but don't tell it to my girlfriend :) Kiding. It's been a year and a half since I left a narc mistress (at that point not being aware of her disorder) and some things still comes to me as a flashbacks, but as not as often as they used to. Videos like this and many others done by survivors helped a lot, so big thanks for your efforts. Also I would like to suggest a lot of meditaion and exercise. Exercise should decrease your adrenalin levels and give you more energy, as you are probably drained. Keep fighting and helping each other. Greetings from Croatia
I have a toxic close relative who makes me feel all the things that the video described. She probably is a narcissist. Its helpful to know that I'm not alone in enduring this type of dysfunctional relationship.
I've inquired, on a couple of sites of this genre, the dynamic of adult children rallying around the abusive parent while ostracizing the parent who loved them and divorced the abusive parent to protect them from further damage. I know I was co-dependent, in an era of the 80's when married to their father, with a chronic debilitating illness. Now that they're grown living their own lives, I'm alone and heart broken. After 20+ years of loving, supporting and providing for them, with no help from their father, I'm alone and heart broken. I feel helpless and like something must be wrong with me.
Hi Judy, My heart goes out to you. A narcissistic parent can be a devastating family dynamic and it can persist even when our children become adults. We are conditioned to have certain expectations in our families and we validate and assess ourselves through these milestones. When we have no ability to achieve them because we aren't able to interact with our family in a healthy way, this is very painful and isolating. We believe we have to resolve this issue to be happy and because we can't control others, we feel stuck in and miserable. We have the same thought process over and over again. What we can do to move forward in our lives is to learn to process these emotions in a new way. To begin to resolve our pain for ourselves and to fill our lives with what interests us, what we enjoy doing, with good friends. When we become the source of our own well being, security and happiness, often so many people are able to break through an estrangement from their children, even ones that have been very contentious. Even if this is not possible, you can still have a very rewarding and happy life. My free resources will take you through, step by step on how to recover and move forward in a healthy and much happier way. You can sign up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm Love and blessings Dear Lady xoxox
Wow - Listening to this message gives hope that healing can take place. Now I can see a light out of the inner darkness. Embracing my own short comings and owning them, speaking them and facing them. Walking in the light of my life - a journey to transparency is exciting and scary. I will step away from my fears and walk in the truth of my faults. Admit them. Wow then overcome them.
You're still in their control if you don't want to expose them or hold then accountable for their wrongs. This is exactly what they want. You bullied into silence so they can continue to treat others the same way without consequence. They only learn from consequence.
I love you Melanie.. I can see the honesty and efforts you put into your work in this video. Thank you so much for doing this for me and everyone else. Lots of love, blessings and happiness to you. May you continue to get greater happiness, health and wealth
Hi Peter. Oh, please know I have the utmost compassion for you, with this. There are so many people in my Narp community that are working through this exact same painful situation and are able to implement Boss boundaries (my newest Thriver TV!!) and learn how to keep themselves safe and loved and by healing the self, trickle that to their children and the collective. There is a way through this, Dear One!! Here is a link to my free resources to help you get started on your healing path back to you!! xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
Melanie I am so thankful for your life's work and dedication to sharing these valuable tools and lessons with us all. I may have signed up for this program before but I failed to stick with it due to still being caught in the Narcissists games. I am free from him now all forms of communication are blocked and I know I have to let go of what I thought could have been. It is time for me to stop being hopeful for the potential in this person and move on with my life and that begins with healing from all of the abuse from that relationship as well as my childhood with my mother whom was also Narcissistic. I wasn't ready before to really dig in and do the healing but I am now. So I will be signing up again for this program; unless the other I signed up for is different, I just didn't want to cause an issue w enrolling twice to same program.
You are so welcome Butterfly Moon. You won't cause a problem sweetheart, if you have the details of when you signed up before, please write to support@melanietoniaevans.com and my wonderful support team will be able to help and advise you. xoxox
Pardon my language but this video is the most f##$N awesome one about a Narcisst totally explains my ex which I am now trying to force him to sell the house, I moved out cause he cheated on me twice now with his ex and moved that same woman into the house the very same day I moved out and she is living there now. I have a lawyer now and have not contacted my ex and he is trying to tell my lawyer a bunch of lies to stall him from losing the house. It is almost now going to court and he will be forced to sell. I love this coverage and thanks for posting this.
how could I say anything to anyone without sounding crazy... I told 2 people and they blocked me and told him. and he sent me a horrible text... telling me he will never be in contact with me again 😢...no one knows this person... no one believes me
MichaelPA1023 ... thank you... I wished I didn't even tell the 2 that I did.... telling someone who has not experienced this kind of abuse is like trying to explain a bad nightmare to someone...it sounds totally made up ..... I wish I handled all this with more grace... I have left myself with no dignity and now he can tell people I'm crazy....and he is right... because I did sound crazy.... NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME....
MichaelPA1023 ... his ex wife was a cheater... his 3 short term relationships... one was bipolar, one was a gold digger and the other was emotionally unhealthy because her dad abused her... and now im crazy.... that's what I told him. at some point you will realize you are the common denominator.😂. ...
MichaelPA1023 ....he has a very strong well protected public facade.... he doesn't show that abusive side to ANYONE.... his ex wife was with him for 25 years.. she told me she never saw him aggressive..... I have seen how he flipped from one kent to the other... just for me 😢
MichaelPA1023 .... sorry.... sounds like a theatrical nightmare 😕 ....😤😤 .... something we all have in common... chaos!! Kent is a real hoarder... house was in total chaos... but he is a very controlled ridged man... thinks he was in control..made unending lists.... he wasn't in control... couldnt get off fb long enough to do stuff😂😂😂 his house life n mind in total chaos... and he kept telling me I was making his life chaos😡😡😡
Hey Mel Thankyou ⚘️ ⚘️ so much for sharing your truths. I'm working 💪 with the NARP program vigorously at the moment. ❣️ Even though I knew the knowledge with Quantum Healing I still wasn't going within everyday. ❣️ With your program I'm learning to speak up. I've had massive persecution, fear and suppressed trauma for many years - { Ancient past life} ❣️ Through NARP I'm learning to use my voice and releasing shame, guilt and abandonment. 💫💙💫💙 It's Amazing how I feel afterwards. Much love ❤️ to you beautiful lady. 💙💫💙💫
You are the best. You understand how low i can feel and at the same time how great I am - at the same time. You see me and that feels great! I can breathe fully again. Love these videos 😘😘
Oh my God !! how do you do this, you're hitting the nail in the head , you know what my mother did to me, you know what he doing to me , you know what's happening in my soul ! my inner being is jumping for joy right now saying, yes! yes !yes Rebecca listen this one she knows what I've been trying to tell you! wow you are amazing, again thank you thank you thank you
Although this sounds like a great idea but I don’t have a slew of friends that believe him. Our town is small but silent about our divorce. The one person he brought close to him is my sister inlaw but it dawned on me. She a narcissist for sure. I have no idea how this will unfold. Every day I listen to your work, videos and module when my boys are w/ him. The email won’t work but the shifts will. I do feel it. I feel he’s gravelling and looks angry in town. He’s working so so hard and I don’t feel like I am working as hard. I know who I am
I so needed this. I was just entangled with another narc. Everything you said was exactly what he was doing and I ended up fearlessly exposing him after he was threatening to me wrapped in a joke. This video was just for me.
We overcome Satan by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony and we do not love our lives to the death. The blood of Jesus represents our authentic connection to God, the testimony is our truth and not loving our lives to the death is being willing to lose it all to get it all.
Victory in Him ok but u need tools to work with cause praying can only get u so far. u need to finally stand up for yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. God helps those that help themselves
True! The Bible does in fact have a lot to say about narcs, which it calls fool scoffers or the wicked. I tells us that we should not rebuke a fool or he will hate you and to cast out the scoffer. Smakintosh has a lot to say about the Bibles reference to narcs. Modern psychology, theology and Hollywood promote the idea that everyone is basically good and that they just need enough love. The narc abuse community is in fact rediscovering this ancient wisdom and like you said sharing techniques to overcome the brainwashing.
Victory in Him From the preachers to the congregation, has been my experience dealing with so-called christians. How do I deal with those who are so "heavenly minded that they're no earthly good and who will bless and curse you in the same breath".
+Sylvia Williams I suggest you watch Re Dossetts video on pagan Christianity. Too often the forgive and forget culture of the church is used as a cover for narc abuse. If they are not interested in learning or respecting your experience they are either narcs themselves or so asleep in the matrix they are unwilling to acknowledge reality. The bible is crystal clear on the existence of narcs. Just read Proverbs. It says fools despise wisdom,not to rebuke a fool and how the wicked lie in wait for innocent blood. If these people are not willing to learn listen to the Holy Spirit regarding them. Surround yourself with people who are willing to grow. It is not your job to change them.
@@victoryinhim9689 yes... The whole demanding forgiveness... Yet openly UNWILLING to apologize or show recognition of THEIR wrong. That's just secondary abuse. The church is full of dangerous "people" in leadership.
questions on Christianity but recognizing that fact is only a partial step-you have to do the inner work and healing to truly be whole-„the renewing your mind daily“ -renew to the Love himself
WOW 😮 I have recently been watching many videos on narcissistic abuse, but this one really spoke to me psychologically and spiritually!! When you said to stand in the truth and to stop hiding the narcissist by allowing him/her to be in the shadows that almost made me cry with relief! It’s like the blazing sword 🗡 of Justice!! That’s exactly what I am doing! 2 narcissist down and now by ex in family court. I have not taken him to family maintenance out of fear but now I am going to expose his lies of hiding income from child support. I think the other 2 narcissist that I confronted with truth and logic were just practicing for my ex because he is a high, covert narcissist! He is Satan 👹
For real 😳 after realizing who they are it’s GAME OVER... that is what I’ve done and am still doing coz she’s my apartment mate in college.... o god let karma and good lessons follow the narcissists
Excellent. Well thought out, and presented. Thank u 4 ur priceless insights! This info is a godsend at this moment... Blessings & gratitude... 💛❤💜💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
I CAUGHT him sending sexy pictures and texts with another woman and his response was to say that I was the one who was unfaithful and accused me of admitting to him that I was unfaithful. I was NEVER EVER unfaithful to him and never said I was either. But he was so adamant in telling me I admitted to cheating..I literally felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Idk if he actually believed his own lie, but I knew it was futile to try to find that out
Amazing! Such a real and integrative approach. Very helpful. Taking what I already know to the next level. Strong open and FEARLESS... my new favorite word, my new goal! Subscribed... Thank you! What dyu mean by moving the fear out... how?
Hi Birdie, I would love to show you how to do this and invite you to the free healing workshop so you can feel the fear moving out of your body for yourself ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
The narc discarded me and stopped communicating with me but he has put my own sister against me and she is not in contact with me. She believes I will hurt her.
Strongwind you might be feeling shocked and horrified and lost and confused and horrible right now but I swear one day you'll be so grateful that he's shown you how cruel he us. You don't deserve thst. No one deserves that. You're not a piece of toilet paper! So count your blessings, try to believe you'll get through thus and you WILL. You need this msn like you need a hole in the head. You need peace and comfort and love. Give those things to yourself until you're strong enough to not need them from anyone else. Remember that people treat you the way you treat yourself not the way you treat them. And keep watching these videos
I feel so stupid for exposing him. He’s blocked and supposedly someone we both know told him I posted something about narcissists online (I was just expressing the pain I was feeling at the time) ...I regret it so much because he contacted me saying it’s despicable and disgusting and how much he’s done for my daughter and I ...he is now blocked on every social media platform ...I personally feel this is it ...my entire soul has been broken and I will never get it back. I feel bad for “exposing” him and I was wrong I know ...but at this point I think I should just check into a psych ward
How did you know? That is exactly what he tried to do to me ... made me feel the rug was pulled out from under my feet and I was going to fall in a chasm. He convinced me through repetition that I was helpless, couldn’t make it on my own, would have no money. The terror of persecution and annihilation- his affair partner and him were talking of having cops show up at my doorstep at 3 am to scare me.
It’s taken me 6 months with no contact to email my ex narc for the money he promised to pay back to me, but never did. We moved back in together after my daughter and I relocated to another town and into a much larger unit tone with him and his daughter. Even though he promised a 50/50 arrangement with rent etc it never happened. He and his daughter lived with us for 3 months before he decided to leave me out of the blue. His name was on the lease with mine. He never paid a cent for rent or living expenses - it was all me. He insulted the situation further by buying 2 bottles and a 6 pack of beer a night for his addiction, but claimed he had no money to contribute to the household.....I emailed him the broken down amount of what he owes me...now claiming he has no money...but our mutual friends told me he is holidaying! His response to me was that I was responsible for his tax bill (???) and he didn’t think that I was that kind of person....will now be in the hands of a lawyer!! I feeling good if I have rattled him even a little...compared what he did to me financially and emotionally.
the difficult part is how foolish you feel once you discover it was all fake, they never loved you because they cannot , you were not loved, it is so hard to accept that, you start to believe you are unlovable , they laughed at you the whole time the loving words, the praise, the encouragements, the hugs, the warmth I felt was all a rouse, how foolish I feel it is unbearable
Melanie There are not words that can express my gratitude to hear I say all the things I’ve lived with with this narc. Even b 4 they were diagnosed with their brain dieing. Now they are more like their real self. I so understand all I’ve sensed about their cold no real empath ect. All talk and no substance and like I said they can’t help it and don’t k is how messed up they are I am now doing what o have to do to notBE totally destroyed. I’m soo happy I found these talked. Help. Other waist I’d still be believing I’m the sic on ect as u said. Thank u. I’ve know for a while they have set me up many times = and sucking me in No more I’m getting better. And becomeing the real me I lost when I married
Hi Melanie, tnx for your great video. I get adrenal burn out 4 years ago, and i still fight will meny chalengeous, .i am hiper sensitive person, and i think i get the worst enemy, my mother in low, when i Expose her not with purpose 20 years ago, when i said straight the head ..or out of the blue i dont understand her relationsheep. She was lier , and still is , and i always fight for thruth and love. . Till then she have war with me, i get horible food alergy on chili and ever when we went to her place, he put some chili on food so i will get an alergic reaction. And the bigest problem is that she manipulate my partner all this year, and he couldnt belive she did did with purpose. Now when i cut with her she drag my partner and call him non stop....i try too not think on her, but she is really evil.
Hi Petra, I did a little video on 'mother in laws' the other day on facebook, I'll leave the link here for you hun, it may help validate all you have written above and help xoxox facebook.com/pg/Melanie-Tonia-Evans-137377772251/videos/?ref=page_internal its the one entitled ... This little video is for all those of you who wanted .....
thx melanie, but i didnt find video..or i didnt recognised the tile...can you gave me a tiitle please or date when you pblished it. it means soo much too me, that someone understand me, and have experience with those people, and show us the way back to our sorce of energy..they took us away. god bless you :)
at this point, even though I have so much work to do that I see now, it's almost to the point that I'd rather send the narcissist a thank- you card 4 my learning to heal me then ever waste a moment thinking about their BS against me again. :-)
How to beat a narc... i really want to say, "with a baseball bat"... but, of course, that would be wrong.
Uncle Claw - 😂😂😂 Is it bad I agree? 👏
Uncle Claw but sometimes necessary
I think is the best solution ever. Hahaha
This made me smile.....almost laugh out loud.....thanks!
😂😂😂😂
a narcissist will never apologize! If they do... it is just words, and you can feel there is no real sorrow or apologetic emotions in the words. !
my sister has said this two time in her/my life. One was when I was 20 years old old and pregnant. She said "I didn't know!" The last time was recently when she learned I had cancer and had to have chemo, "I didn't know!" Of course you didn't. I don't exist for you.
If they do apologize you had to ask for it which means it's not really an apology.
Kelli McCumber I beg to differ! My narc has sobbed with tears weeping looked me in the eyes and said “I’m sorry!” I know she didn’t mean it though. Some are better actors than others.
If you receive a good apology, they take it back, later on, and pretend that you must have misunderstood.
That is so true
The ability to know or trust that not everyone is evil is one of the biggest struggles I have
@Dizzy Tell me about it. I am very suspicious of everyone due to narc abuse. It's CRAZZY. The sad part about it, is that the truly genuine nice people might be ignored and disrespected by me. I am so ashamed of this.
Let them expose themselves. Sooner or later there will be occasions where the situation can be utilized to let them show who they are. Work with that and dont intterupt when they are making mistakes.
Exactly 💯
This is so amazingly spot on. I’ve come through all this The PTSD and reclusive behaviours. I am strong and clear and will never let these monsters control me again. I laugh in their faces. I’ve let so many beautiful people in my life now. My best friend said I am like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. The fear I lived with for my entire laugh has gone. Thank you MTE
You are so welcome Sophie and it's great you are now thriving Dear Lady xoxox
So happy for you. Good to hear of a good outcome because I fell in this hard, face first and I can't or don't know how to disconnect from my ex narc, the anguish is the hardest to overcome. I feel alienated and so unloved, before I met this narc, I was loved by so many and he ruined all of it for me, I allowed it, and now I'm dealing with this on my own. But ya, the anguish is unbearable !
What are some of the best steps that you've used to get to where you are today.... #SHARE SHARE SHARE
@@melsal3982 I will def pray for ya
@@melsal3982 hang in there. You are worthy of real love.
I spent the last 10 years of my life with a severe narcissist. Must have spent days and days of my life just trying to explain to her why I wasn't what she claimed, and I didnt deserve the anger she had. NOW Completely different. Once you know what a narc is, its gave over. Now Im the boss. I got my power back that was taken for 10 years. Once you know, DO NOT give them the argument they desire, or the emotions or anger they want you to feel. Thats your power against them.
GR TH - I'm just learning this after five years myself...
GR TH you are very very correct. once you understand what they are. GAME OVER.
Thomas Hernandez Here in the USA, we say..."Stick to your guns and don't waver!"
When you KNOW that you're in the right, stick to your truth. If the other person can't properly deal with it and accept it, move on! People often times don't change and time moves too quickly to wait for a person to grow the hell up and change.
Narcissists DON'T grow up and never change for any longer than once they've figured out how to manipulate you into you giving them what they set out to get out of you.
Never argue and debate with a narcissist. There is no win with trying to reason and rationalize with one. Keep that in mind! They're psychologically damaged goods.
The only good narcissist is a narcissist out of your life!
Thomas, what I did, when I finally realized there was something terribly wrong with my husband, was to educate myself as much as possible about people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and people with dominant narcissistic traits. It has helped me so much just to understand what I am dealing with, after ten years with this man. He fits every single one of the criteria for NPD. He has almost destroyed me, but I'm strong and he will not beat me. It is very damaging to be with these people for a long time. Now I'm in the process of healing my own issues, which caused me to attract narcs in the first place. The upside to being with him is that it forced me to face the issues I had that would lead me to become involved with narcs. It is not easy to change, but worth it. Narcs are always attracted to me (infj/empathic), but I now recognize the disorder sooner, and engage my boundaries. I do not feed the ego of narcs. They ARE their ego. Narcs are energy vampires, which one way to tell if you're in the presence of one. If you find yourself becoming drained, tired, sick and just generally exhausted while talking with someone, then odds are they are sucking and draining your energy from you.
These are a few things I have learned over the past 2 years or so, and I definitely recommend researching into it if you believe you are dealing with a narc. I am not a young woman any more, but I know I deserve better than what my narc husband has "given" me (which was trauma, heartbreak, anger, resentment, etc). I realized very early on that something wasn't right, but denial can be very powerful. The illusion they create is very strong, and it can be hard to break free from the hope that things will improve. When you finally realize that it has all been a lie, a sham that you "fell for", you can then begin to extricate yourself from the narc. Believe me, you do not want to waste another minute on this type of person. I have prayed to God to "fix" my husband, so maybe I would not have to leave him, but I can't fathom His will concerning this; all I know is that I owe it to my family and myself to let him go for good.
If you aren't sure the person in question has NPD, then whatever issues you experience with this person could be searched for info to enlighten you. Either way, I wish you well. Sorry for long reply, was venting a little too, I guess. May God bless you and keep you.
Gads Bee this sounds like you’re talking to me my husband is to narcissist and I’ve been married to him for 10 years and have two kids he controls everything money won’t even buy groceries doing everything I can to get out of the situation for me and my children and this guy makes over $6000 a month but refuses to buy basic necessities for his children and his wife. I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel and he’s a serial cheater!!
its always good to grow as a person....however i greatly resent the fact that it seems victims always have to be nearly perfect while the evil narc literally gets away w/ murder....humanity is so shitty, we need to evolve and be more spiritual and not ever tolerate dishonest and evil people no matter if they are damaged.
Well said!
The reason why we and the earth are dying as a species is due to this type of disease. We let diseased minds rule the world and then say..dont tell. Even when its a sociopath. Its why more #metoo movements need to change the world. Its the very do nothing ignore-ance that creates anything but bliss and why abuse especially sexual is at an all time high. Stand up and speak out or be a Neanderthal and never grow as a species. The old male paradigms need to die
The term "evolve" is a bit too new age for me. I mean, I don't treat people the way in which the narcissist would and it probably has a lot to with the way I was raised. Granted I have most likely expressed narcissistic traits at times. Definitely have. Idk. Some people have empathy and others don't.
Perfectly stated.
Regarding is "exposure" thing, you are 100% right!
Everything that a narcissist does is to keep you in the dark, and the only way out is to either give up (and be annihilated) or heal your wounds, find your light, then shine it and stand in it authentically without fear (and it needs to be really bright, soul scorching bright).
So TRUE SIG! xoxo
Exposing a narcissist is absolutely necessary especially when that narcissistic is your parent. Why should I have to endure years of battering and not letting others know of the real wolf nicely dressed up in sheep’s clothing
Yes!!!
Yes
Melanie, I have found that we can hurt ourselves via self sabbotage even more than a narcissist can hurt us. This is real and not just a saying
Mamiya Phan you obviously don't get this kind of head game by an abuser. Emotional bruises.
The inner narc the ego can hurt us terribly ... this may clarify things for you www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/ego.htm xoxox
Cheryl Stewart you obviously don't know what she went through to understand what she's saying. We get hurt by others when we don't really take care if ourselves. That means rejecting any and all abuse st all times and immediately
I shared him everything in my heart and soul and he trampled all over me 😢
Hi Paula, it's very important to come from a place of calm, maturity and solidness and that's comes AFTER you have shifted and released all the trapped trauma inside of you. Before that time a narc will most definitely trampled all over you. I would love to show you how to heal for real in my free webinar Paula, so you can experience the difference xoxox
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
Melanie Tonia Evans ...ok 😢
paula dsilva God sees that you were trampled on its like touching him in his iris of his eye
Kendrua Zelada ... such a sweet sentiment... thank you xoxoxo 💋 ❤
Karma is a "B"..only if u were. In the end..narcs get what they deserve. That alone is revenge enough for me!
I never wanted to look at my inner child because I never liked her. This past year, I finally have seen the importance of acknowledging those behaviors of when I was little that would appear as an adult when presented with fear. I have been able to see. my inner self and how she feels, always acknowledging that little girl but then reminding myself of who I am today...an adult, safe and capable! It's been the shift from feeling bad to feeling good. As my sister drove by the city where I live , without calling me, I felt those feelings of inadequacy surface. However, I realized that it was that little girl. I paused and acknowledge her and let her do what she always have done by waving from the side of the road or in the middle of a room saying " See me... I am here!. I am lovable." I then visualized my adult self waving...this time saying "Goodbye sister. I am that sorry our life was so difficul. We were doomed from the very beginning however that was yesterday and today I no longer believe your lies.i am done." Absolutely the most powerful moment I have ever felt. It's been a long hard journey but thank God I made it to the other side. I have been reborn!
Truth that's the keyword here. The truth does set you free and it is so hard when you are being portrayed as crazy, and the perpetrator/s push buttons when witnesses there! Difficult, However, joining your inner self just as Melanie states, authentic not false or revengeful or what others want, your truth, your needs, it does work. Some dismiss you, lots of narcs around these people as well, flying monkies as well. When you breathe, think, then button pushers can't take it and they do start unraveling - amazing. If you trust anyone at this horrific time in your life, trust & love yourself more and Melanie's team they know this stuff - pure Angels in disguise. So truly grateful.
You are so right, trying to tell people and feel like you have allies makes it worse. People who have not experienced this do not understand. Then you end up looking crazy and justifying what the narc is trying to paint you to be. I have found you to be the most informative about this topic. Thank you Melanie.
I am so pleased you agree Jennibear! xxoxo
@jenni I see this comment is a year old but hopefully you see it. This is exactly where I've gotten so stuck and can't move past. I've found it hard to even have any friends in my life who wanted to stay ''neutral''. I feel like I can't be honest or myself or talk about what happened. Even when they can see it from the outside that something wasn't right, they either remain silent about it (condoning?) or awkwardly look the other way about it and pretend it doesn't exist. It hurts so much. I can intellectually see that no one is responsible to save me. It still often feels like abandonment though. I've found myself isolated and then further self isolating due to this. How to heal this? How to process this? Maybe Melanie can make a video about this?!
I have been recoiling from her for about a year now and during this time, through energy work and good books, have come to realize my fears, which you have outlined so beautifully. I have finally gotten to the point where I am not afraid in her presence, where her attempts to intimidate me are actually intriguing and sometimes even amusing. I have noticed that she is the one who now recoils, hides, pretends to be busy, leaves the scene when I arrive. To win this game by empowering myself rather than by hating on her, feels so good. Thank you MTE, you're the best!
I covered up for my abusive mother for over 50 years. Part of my healing occurred when I exposed the abuse to my extended family (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.); one less load to carry. Even when my narcissist ex-husband road up on me unexpectedly, I was calm and collected, no anxiety, ...I didn't have to "try" to do anything. Plain ole natural "exposure".
When I interact with my female parent now I have the perfect move. I use my phone to record the conversation. Her greatest fear is to be revealed….she knows I know….and I will show relevant people the footage.
You should see it! Narcissist behaving and treating the scapegoat…like a human being! Miracle!
It only took me 50yrs but I found the “Golden Ticket” 😉🙏🤞
It's cute how her cat is slowly, kneading, taking his time, like it's enjoyable satisfying work for him, meeting his emotional needs! :) Look to the far right, her cat has his back to the camera, and is moving back and forth, with the kneading motion of his claws on the couch cushion. He's a happy camper.
I forgot to add that it is your last two videos that I watched which includes this one that taught me to fix me. I started learning about narcissism and everything when I thought I had completely lost touch with reality and it has taken this long but it is your face that I was looking at on my phone when I finally got it. don't fix them, fix self! I went through confusion, anger, sad, guilt, shame, and so much more studying and trying and you helped me quote get it! it changes so much. Thank you thank you thank you!
"We know that in ALL THINGS, God works for the good of those who love Him" ROMANS 8:28
Carrie Marie...does god also do good for those who are good people who never hurt others?
Can a narcissist truly love God due to their love of self protection? Remember it says for the good of those who love Him. Most narcissists are not capable of true love ~ not even truly of themselves ~ they can appear to love themselves but they are so annihilated they have created a false persona.
Bee Thao God tests the righteous
Mary Myers: As the daughter of, the ex-wife of, and the mother of narcissists who profess to be Christian... they fake it. Those close to them can tell the truth. There is no real fruit in their lives. And there are MANY hiding, working their evil deceit and abuse of power in the church at all levels. It's all about them and being recognized publicly as "good" citizens in the community. They are not there to glorify and worship God for who He is. Source of narcissistic supply for them, and part of their public "facade".
@@marymyers8574 They "fake it" to protect their public facade. They will do chores, but no real fruit.
I still don't completely understand what my narc did to me. She triggered my temper, and made me feel paranoid. Like she was cheating on me or something. It was all very subtle, and seemingly planned out in meticulous detail. I told her to get lost and not to contact me. I don't think she meticulously planned for that.
Troy Carpenter sometimes it feels like magic. Like you ask yourself how did I get tricked into not staying calm and rational.
She GaslIghted you
I learned that the covert narcs induce jealousy by some of their behaviors. I don’t know if they are always aware of it. However, when secrecy or something seems off, its natural to go into alert mode (possible paranoia!) and when something is said to narc, of course, they aren’t doing anything. :-). You’ve just got “trust issues” or think the narc is always “betraying”. The narc is “loyal”. Yada yada. Nothing like a good jealousy fight to make the Narc feel loved and us to feel insecure (implanted insecurity tripling any real insecurity that may be dormant or lower level at first). Wild!
I'm deeply working on the anger...
Thank you for this beautiful video
You are so welcome Empath xoxox
I need to! Because the anguish is unbearable ! These narcs destroy !
It's a spiritual battle , ask in JESUS NAME that it return to its rightful owner, this is the spirit of strife that the narc brought with them , it's not yours , it's theirs. And once you've washed your self , keep it that way.and to be sure , it the spirit will not give easily , but you WILL overcome .
Melanie Tonia Evans I have been youtubing about all of this stuff for a year-and-a-half now. Working and growing inside. I have bounced around to different people and about six months ago I ran into you and listen to some stuff and liked it and then it seemed to get too heavy for me and I would bounce out again but I kept coming back to you at different times. it's like I wasn't ready yet so I would go away from you, take more time, grow some more, come back to you and learn some more. same thing it would start to get too heavy so I would bounce out and come back to you and then I could absorb some more of what you were teaching me. I am so very thankful for you! I am up to this point of teaching and I will not give up. thank you so very much. although I am so impressed and so very happy for who you are I just wished you had not had to go through all your hurt and pain to get there. I guess that's how it works :-)
these videos along with permission to exist have helped me start to heal.
God bless you my sister!!!! I am going through this and the people I expect to know me actually think I am the one with issues all because I'm angry the narcissist in my life is driving me crazy. I am glad you described the narcissist in my life to the letter
Thank you for posting so many new videos recently, I always look forward to them. Please keep posting!!! You're so helpful and such a beautiful person! Thank you :)
My pleasure Kate xoxox
Beautiful darling, angel Mel. Thank you so much. This is profound and resonates at the core for me. Love it.
You are so welcome Dear Lady xoxox
Kate Grace. hi my question is how well does does male and female narcissitlast in a relationship or how does tha go . I am two weeks of no contact with him but I am getting all these phone calls from un known numbers. as though he's programing my phone switching numbers and fraud sites recommend for me I am light and stable and after twenty five yrs of single parenting and ten months of all his drama thank God for savoring great heart ace . I am not a narcissist just waned to know because he called me one as well. merry Christmas and thanks again
Sheila Nakatani hi! I'm having a bit of a hard time understanding what you are asking. What would you like to know? From what you're saying it sounds like stalking to me. I would continue to block the numbers if this is making you uncomfortable and if need be, possibly contacting law enforcement if you feel that threatened and afraid. I'd need a little more context to understand what's going on but it sounds like projection with calling you a narcissist. I am still trying to go no contact but keep slipping up, it's not easy.. but what has helped me is learning to focus on what i do want in life and tapping into that knowing of my own value and self worth. Remembering that what these people are saying about you is not true.. What helps me is to notice that literally he's the only one in my life that seems to say such terrible things about me.. this helps me remember that it's not about me and that it's about him. Hopefully that helps! :)
This amazing woman helped me move through one of the worst times of my life. Thank you. I had a ten year relationship with a narcissist. And am so proud to say that I am free. I still have healing to do. Maybe even a lifetime of healing. But, I’m free!!
I said everything and anything i was thinking, to him. Before going no contact. I was so frustrated. Now no contact for almost one year. Was wrong saying all those things and stalking him.
Great points, I’ve needed to email mr.NPD & ive kept it kind, polite & understanding. There will be a record of reasonable requests, so that when it has to come to light, the fact that those requests have been ignored it will be evident that there was no cooperation at all. He used to complain that I was always writing to him, (we were often long distance) I always made a point of being aware that it would be read by members of his entourage so I always communicated factually & reasonably. I’m not worried at all if any of my communication comes to light, it was all from the heart & was based on my attempts to conduct a normal healthy relationship in a hugely abnormal context. I was afraid when we first broke up but I’m not anymore, I feel ready to deal with things now. Thank you so much Mel your videos are so supportive & thought provoking & always help to allay the fear that dealing with these intensely unreasonable people engenders. Blessings on you & your kitties xxx
Thank you so much. All the years of therapists never said these things. Love and Light ❤️
Aww you are so welcome Adilene. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Thank You so much for doing this video,I am 53yrs old and grew up with a Narcissist Mother,it was horrible to say the least of how she made me feel all those years,but at that time I didn't even know what Narcissist was?. I have gone to therapy recently for 6 months with a therapist,to whom I am grateful,and it really helped me to understand and deal with how it has affected me ,most of my life. Currently I am also dealing with another serious Narcissist in my Family and I have realized that I cannot please that person no matter what,I have been persecuted and put down,and I did try to somehow make it better,but it just got worse and worse.........now I have accepted it,because I realize that I am not the problem,and adding to the situation only enables that person to make it rougher for you.
My pleasure JackieViolet, you have a lot of awareness there Dear Lady. I'm happy you are getting help and wish you well xoxox
JackieViolet i know i want to spend new years with my sister but its a narc relationship. its so hard when its family.
I did this, i never attacked my narsersist who attacked me for having eperleptic sezurs and having holes in any of my stories, and not able to fly, being a person, who never run from the truth. I did change and found my peace within my self, and now im happy again.😊😊😊😊😊😊
Fantastic Andrew that's so good to read, Thrive on Dear One xoxox
Thank you for posting.. Very helpful videos. There is nothing more powerful then taking back control of your own life.
You are so welcome Stephanie. I am so glad my videos help. Love and blessings xoxox
This video is amazing!! I feel so understood!! Im divorcing a Narcissist and I feel it is difficulty to explain to others what goes on because I get so confused with all the distortion of facts, changing what he says every 5 minutes, lies, etc. I feel I can’t keep up. Other feelings of anger have arisen towards my mother. They have come up recently during this time. Because she has been married to my father for her entire life and he is a Narc. And she has just always said this is how men are, they are difficult, you are idealistc for thinking your gonna find something more, your living in fantasy land etc.. and I didnt want to belief her but subcounciously I did and played out everything the same way. Even during my marriage ahe would say the same thing.. horrible. Very painful.
Melanie, another great video! I agree that bringing narc's "out into the light" in terms of open communication with friends, has really kept me safe. Until I heal the wounds in me that make me vulnerable (and your wonderful modules along with my therapist are really helping), this is a way to make sure he doesn't pull his usual routine. Thank you!
Aww Anna you are so welcome hun xoxox
I feel so lucky that I'm not related to a Narcissist.
Phew!!
To add:
Sadly, I'm here for a freind. Luckily my friend's narcissist nightmare only lasted less than 90 days.
These RUclipss helped bring it to a swift close.
Thanks!
i thought my dad loved me, but it was all a game
I would like to add to this already excellent video...basically the narcissist is an expert at detecting our using of covert means towards a goal.
The most frequent reason we try to use covert means instead of overt means is a lack of an honest evaluation of our own resources and capabilities (we all think we are 10 feet tall, with the brain of Einstein, and skilled at everything), so that we feel we need to go about reaching a goal in ways that we cannot publicly expose, as opposed to hard work and dedication, or just acknowledging that something is out of our reach, at least for the time being.
And in today's society, the two ways we are trapped into this infernal circle are money and sex - we all want tons of them, regardless of our ability to get them (and the fact that they will not give us happiness). In this sense, the narcissist is a very pure individual, in that they are completely indifferent to either, they just need to see people suffer, it's all they need to feel happy.
When we start to fight the narcissist without the extra baggage, having come clean about who we are and what we can really get from life, we win every time.
Thanks Melanie for your videos.
It's my absolute pleasure erot snello xoxox
I love love your videos !!! Thank you for sharing and helping us grow and over come those narcs!! Peace , Love , Light .Namaste
my covert vindictive psychopathic Narcissus has not only destroyed me but he's involved the family that I had the courage to walk away from years ago because of there abuse by there narcissus attitude.This friend has alienated me from everyone not one person will hear a word when I try to tell them I'm the victim.Hes manipulated everyone into believing him along with all his new group of people that even he doesn't like.
What you have described is unfortunately a 'normal' occurrence and my heart goes out to you Steven. If you would like to heal the wounds and rebuild a new life for yourself I would love you to have my free resources to help you blog.melanietoniaevans.com/am-i-the-narcissist/ xoxox
Interesting! Apparently YOU'RE engaging in behavior that attracts these types of people. I've done that on several occasions and learned late how to better deal with that crap. Family and so-called friends can be super toxic and difficult in letting go. You're going to have to learn which aspects of your personality are very good and healthy, keep those things and then rebuild yourself from the good aspects of yourself reinventing newly found good parts of yourself to make a whole great person bringing better people into your life. Those new good people will fill any void you may be feeling or experience once you've successfully removed all of the toxic ones from your physical and psychological spacings! Good Luck! You can do it and will love it and yourself better!
I’ve had the same experience with a ‘family member’!! I ended up cutting all of those people out of my life as well as the abusers I left behind all those years ago.
Then after years of no contact the narc messages me to tell me how terrible I am etc etc
For the first time I stopped blaming myself for everything and said I knew all about the lies and manipulation etc and I wasn’t going to just accept this crap anymore. Ahh the bloody cheek of it. I’m owed an apology if anything. The narc tried to tell me she had ‘looked at herself’ hahaha probably only in the mirror because a narc lacks the ability to care about the impact of their behaviour on others.
so Tania ... you believe that all of the fam members that the narc placed against you are not worth going back to righ????? that's one subject that is worth figuring out.... (thanks hun)
Thank you so much for being so clear about what narcissists do. I've been dealing with a narcissistic mother in law for 20yrs and i could never explain what it is and what she does. We've almost been divorced so many times, but now i have your help. Thank you
My pleasure Rholda, you are so welcome sweetheart xoxox
So by continually repeating positive phrases to ourselves, we begin to realise that all of the negative things we have been taught about ourselves by the narcs, can be shifted to positive ones. ( positive affirmations) Much like erasing a negative recording about ourselves & replacing it with the truth. When we remove toxic ppl from our lives, love is all that remains & truth is all there ever was. Clearing out the fog..looking forward to having loads of fun this weekend. Thanking your gorgeous self Melanie..💓
You are very welcome sweetheart. I'm so glad this helps. Have a terrific weekend. Love and blessings xoxox
I have a long fight ahead I don't know when the next attack is coming and to what degree, The lies keep mounting, the family see her as mother Teresa yet she had more affairs than fingers on my hand. She has cleaned the bank, the only two people who believe me are my two children yet she keeps them from me. I got out and have no contact,I am trying to heal my soul take my life back, I live alone and can sometimes smile at how stupid I was to take all this abuse only to find out that I am a alcoholic among the people I do business with, I have maybe a drink once a month yet she drinks every day. Yet somehow I know the truth will prevail when she finds her next victim. Melanie you are a great inspiration. I am healing myself first.
Awesome John, healing yourself!! Keep thriving hun. xoxox
Report that broad to social services, get custody of your kids and live your authentic life. Allowing your children to legally stay with their drunken mother will build up resentment towards you from your children. Imagine what might be going on in the household at your absence! Children often grow up and don't express themselves to you until perhaps a year or less while you're on your death bed and it's often too late to help bring them enough emotionally that they need to get past or beyond.
Get legal custody or your kids and start the healing process as soon as possible.
Drunkards are a special kind of toxic filth that truly destroy innocent people and people none deserving of their liberally given ilk!
Good luck to you!
I strongly believe in myself am a free woman that no one has the will to control me ,I have self control .
Wait if the narcissist is your only care giver and live alone with the narcissist?
I just got a job but life has been very rough all this time. Pure abuse with no one to see it.
Aroa Azalea in the same boat. But no job still a housewife to the narc
Carmen Austin I have some videos in RUclips about narcissism. Maybe you are interested :)
Stay strong and try to find a job :)
Have listened to you for about 6 years now, and so appreciate your incredible insight into narcissism! You so understand yourself, healing, and "source". You are all over it, yet don't acknowledge it as God, and the way Scripture describes believers are not to worry, fear or respond to criticism from others. And he will intervene in our behalf when we trust him and seek him with a whole heart. Not always the way we think He should, but He's omnipotent, sees all, and He's got us, and has given us everything we need to live an authentic and purposeful life. For me, your materials sort of "marry" the two worlds together, and I know God within me is the source of strength, and He has directed my path and landed me on my feet after 24 years married to a covert narcissist who tried to set me up, alienate the children and my family, and destroy me before I even knew what was going on. I knew something was wrong, but could not conceive of such an evil heart, or what was uncovered after we split. He convinced our marriage counselor (who split us up/did not do joint counseling), with his psychology major sister's help, that I was the problem. His whole family "grey rocks" me, which works right into his plan to keep us separated so they will never know his truth. I found everything -- affair, escort services, addictions -- that they know nothing of. Was so isolated by then I really was almost broken -- he told me I'd "find myself all alone" one day. They really do tell you what they're up to; just have to have keen understanding to recognize it. Have lost a lot, including alienated children that he still charms and bribes with $$. The new wife has no idea what she got herself into. And I already see the pattern unfolding in their life just observing the way he treats her when I pick up the children. Anyway, so thankful for you! You are the most knowledgeable and effective and practical narcissism expert in the world, and I have listened/researched/read all the famous "counselors" and experts. Your words have put understanding and healing into my life... even confronting the insecurities in my own life that I didn't want to face. Forever grateful!
Aww thank you Vicki and I am delighted my work has helped you. This blog may interest you sweetheart www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/religion-spirituality.htm Love and blessings to you xoxox
Vicki Williamson p
Thank you Melanie . This is one of the perfect antidote to fight against narcissist virulence. It satisfied my very soul.
You are so welcome Gillay, I am happy to help. Love and blessings xoxox
AUTHENTIC! I think it's best to love and forgive and give everybody a chance knowing they are capable of change, I think we see the world as we are, I do like the idea of having everyone together in the sane room, should there be a problem. Minding our own business, anytime i tried helping it turned on me, I have healed and am willing to love and trust again.
So good and liberating to feel exactly what you're talking about! This is serious work and it's not about the rationalization... it's FEELING the space within that goes beyond words that makes it so incredible. Living in the quantum world is a whole new skill set that is felt within. It's hard to explain - it's truly a natural psychedelic experience. It is like seeing the once invisible staircase. Once you feel it, you see it... Don't give up.
Love, love, love this M V!! Welcome to thriverland! xoxox
M V I want to know what that is exactly like. I think I'm getting fairly close to that now. Thank you for sharing
This is such a spot on video! Well done, Melanie!
I am in love with Mel, but don't tell it to my girlfriend :) Kiding.
It's been a year and a half since I left a narc mistress (at that point not being aware of her disorder) and some things still comes to me as a flashbacks, but as not as often as they used to. Videos like this and many others done by survivors helped a lot, so big thanks for your efforts. Also I would like to suggest a lot of meditaion and exercise. Exercise should decrease your adrenalin levels and give you more energy, as you are probably drained. Keep fighting and helping each other.
Greetings from Croatia
I have a toxic close relative who makes me feel all the things that the video described. She probably is a narcissist. Its helpful to know that I'm not alone in enduring this type of dysfunctional relationship.
Great video. The advice given here really does turn the tables on the narcissist. Wow!!!
Keeps me grounded thank you so much
My absolute pleasure Dear Lady xoxox
I've inquired, on a couple of sites of this genre, the dynamic of adult children rallying around the abusive parent while ostracizing the parent who loved them and divorced the abusive parent to protect them from further damage. I know I was co-dependent, in an era of the 80's when married to their father, with a chronic debilitating illness. Now that they're grown living their own lives, I'm alone and heart broken. After 20+ years of loving, supporting and providing for them, with no help from their father, I'm alone and heart broken. I feel helpless and like something must be wrong with me.
Hi Judy,
My heart goes out to you. A narcissistic parent can be a devastating family dynamic and it can persist even when our children become adults. We are conditioned to have certain expectations in our families and we validate and assess ourselves through these milestones. When we have no ability to achieve them because we aren't able to interact with our family in a healthy way, this is very painful and isolating. We believe we have to resolve this issue to be happy and because we can't control others, we feel stuck in and miserable. We have the same thought process over and over again. What we can do to move forward in our lives is to learn to process these emotions in a new way. To begin to resolve our pain for ourselves and to fill our lives with what interests us, what we enjoy doing, with good friends. When we become the source of our own well being, security and happiness, often so many people are able to break through an estrangement from their children, even ones that have been very contentious. Even if this is not possible, you can still have a very rewarding and happy life. My free resources will take you through, step by step on how to recover and move forward in a healthy and much happier way. You can sign up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm Love and blessings Dear Lady xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans Thank you.
Wow - Listening to this message gives hope that healing can take place. Now I can see a light out of the inner darkness. Embracing my own short comings and owning them, speaking them and facing them. Walking in the light of my life - a journey to transparency is exciting and scary. I will step away from my fears and walk in the truth of my faults. Admit them. Wow then overcome them.
That's so great Therese. Sending blessings to you! xoxo
ty for posting. ive just handled things by no contact. ur so brave to share. it was just in time. Helps to know the ptsd wasnt my fault.
My pleasure maryann xoxox
You're still in their control if you don't want to expose them or hold then accountable for their wrongs.
This is exactly what they want. You bullied into silence so they can continue to treat others the same way without consequence.
They only learn from consequence.
I love you Melanie.. I can see the honesty and efforts you put into your work in this video. Thank you so much for doing this for me and everyone else. Lots of love, blessings and happiness to you. May you continue to get greater happiness, health and wealth
Nice video. "So within so without." Absolutely true.
Definitely!! Thank you Breakthrough Moment (love the name!) xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans thx! :)
"They twist it and abuse us more" 10/10 THX!
She took my daughter. How can I fight something as ruthless as this abuse. Thank you for your help. I am desperately trying to heal.
Hi Peter. Oh, please know I have the utmost compassion for you, with this. There are so many people in my Narp community that are working through this exact same painful situation and are able to implement Boss boundaries (my newest Thriver TV!!) and learn how to keep themselves safe and loved and by healing the self, trickle that to their children and the collective. There is a way through this, Dear One!! Here is a link to my free resources to help you get started on your healing path back to you!! xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
Peter Plummer I feel you're pain
Matt Mobbs I do too.
Melanie I am so thankful for your life's work and dedication to sharing these valuable tools and lessons with us all. I may have signed up for this program before but I failed to stick with it due to still being caught in the Narcissists games. I am free from him now all forms of communication are blocked and I know I have to let go of what I thought could have been. It is time for me to stop being hopeful for the potential in this person and move on with my life and that begins with healing from all of the abuse from that relationship as well as my childhood with my mother whom was also Narcissistic. I wasn't ready before to really dig in and do the healing but I am now. So I will be signing up again for this program; unless the other I signed up for is different, I just didn't want to cause an issue w enrolling twice to same program.
You are so welcome Butterfly Moon. You won't cause a problem sweetheart, if you have the details of when you signed up before, please write to support@melanietoniaevans.com and my wonderful support team will be able to help and advise you. xoxox
Pardon my language but this video is the most f##$N awesome one about a Narcisst totally explains my ex which I am now trying to force him to sell the house, I moved out cause he cheated on me twice now with his ex and moved that same woman into the house the very same day I moved out and she is living there now. I have a lawyer now and have not contacted my ex and he is trying to tell my lawyer a bunch of lies to stall him from losing the house. It is almost now going to court and he will be forced to sell. I love this coverage and thanks for posting this.
You are so welcome Patricia, I am happy it helped you, Sweetheart!! xoxox
I wish mine would let me leave. He can have the house just leave me alone.
Melanie Tonia Evans j
This was fantastic! Thank you 😊
I am working on Myself.
Let him expose himself.
It will definitely come.
So,so thankful for this Video and others . you do 🙏🙏🙏
All thy Blessings 🙏💞
You are most welcome sweetheart. Love and blessings to you xoxox
You've just explained everything so beautifully. Let's get to work now that we got tools! Ya. I did enjoy this video. Way lots.
how could I say anything to anyone without sounding crazy... I told 2 people and they blocked me and told him. and he sent me a horrible text... telling me he will never be in contact with me again 😢...no one knows this person... no one believes me
MichaelPA1023 ... thank you... I wished I didn't even tell the 2 that I did.... telling someone who has not experienced this kind of abuse is like trying to explain a bad nightmare to someone...it sounds totally made up ..... I wish I handled all this with more grace... I have left myself with no dignity and now he can tell people I'm crazy....and he is right... because I did sound crazy.... NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME....
MichaelPA1023 thank you... I'm hoping for that as well 😊
MichaelPA1023 ... his ex wife was a cheater... his 3 short term relationships... one was bipolar, one was a gold digger and the other was emotionally unhealthy because her dad abused her... and now im crazy.... that's what I told him. at some point you will realize you are the common denominator.😂. ...
MichaelPA1023 ....he has a very strong well protected public facade.... he doesn't show that abusive side to ANYONE.... his ex wife was with him for 25 years.. she told me she never saw him aggressive..... I have seen how he flipped from one kent to the other... just for me 😢
MichaelPA1023 .... sorry.... sounds like a theatrical nightmare 😕 ....😤😤 .... something we all have in common... chaos!!
Kent is a real hoarder... house was in total chaos... but he is a very controlled ridged man... thinks he was in control..made unending lists.... he wasn't in control... couldnt get off fb long enough to do stuff😂😂😂
his house life n mind in total chaos... and he kept telling me I was making his life chaos😡😡😡
Clear and powerful presentation.
Thank you St Joanna xoxox
Hey Mel
Thankyou ⚘️ ⚘️ so much for sharing your truths.
I'm working 💪 with the NARP program vigorously at the moment.
❣️
Even though I knew the knowledge with Quantum Healing I still wasn't going within everyday.
❣️
With your program I'm learning to speak up. I've had massive persecution, fear and suppressed trauma for many years - { Ancient past life}
❣️
Through NARP I'm learning to use my voice and releasing shame, guilt and abandonment.
💫💙💫💙
It's Amazing how I feel afterwards.
Much love ❤️ to you beautiful lady.
💙💫💙💫
You are the best. You understand how low i can feel and at the same time how great I am - at the same time. You see me and that feels great! I can breathe fully again. Love these videos 😘😘
I'm so glad my videos help Line. Love and blessings sweetheart. xoxox
i'm 2:22 in & you NAILED it!
Thank you Melanie for all your inspiring words and guidance 🌼
Adrian B, you are so very welcome dear One. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Oh my God !! how do you do this, you're hitting the nail in the head , you know what my mother did to me, you know what he doing to me , you know what's happening in my soul ! my inner being is jumping for joy right now saying, yes! yes !yes Rebecca listen this one she knows what I've been trying to tell you! wow you are amazing, again thank you thank you thank you
We must be careful, tho, that this doesnt end up as a subtle form of revenge, or egoic point-scoring "after the event "...
Although this sounds like a great idea but I don’t have a slew of friends that believe him. Our town is small but silent about our divorce. The one person he brought close to him is my sister inlaw but it dawned on me. She a narcissist for sure. I have no idea how this will unfold. Every day I listen to your work, videos and module when my boys are w/ him. The email won’t work but the shifts will. I do feel it. I feel he’s gravelling and looks angry in town. He’s working so so hard and I don’t feel like I am working as hard. I know who I am
They are so very nice to others and try very hard to make you look crazy.
I so needed this. I was just entangled with another narc. Everything you said was exactly what he was doing and I ended up fearlessly exposing him after he was threatening to me wrapped in a joke. This video was just for me.
We overcome Satan by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony and we do not love our lives to the death.
The blood of Jesus represents our authentic connection to God, the testimony is our truth and not loving our lives to the death is being willing to lose it all to get it all.
Victory in Him ok but u need tools to work with cause praying can only get u so far. u need to finally stand up for yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. God helps those that help themselves
True! The Bible does in fact have a lot to say about narcs, which it calls fool scoffers or the wicked. I tells us that we should not rebuke a fool or he will hate you and to cast out the scoffer. Smakintosh has a lot to say about the Bibles reference to narcs. Modern psychology, theology and Hollywood promote the idea that everyone is basically good and that they just need enough love. The narc abuse community is in fact rediscovering this ancient wisdom and like you said sharing techniques to overcome the brainwashing.
Victory in Him From the preachers to the congregation, has been my experience dealing with so-called christians. How do I deal with those who are so "heavenly minded that they're no earthly good and who will bless and curse you in the same breath".
+Sylvia Williams I suggest you watch Re Dossetts video on pagan Christianity. Too often the forgive and forget culture of the church is used as a cover for narc abuse. If they are not interested in learning or respecting your experience they are either narcs themselves or so asleep in the matrix they are unwilling to acknowledge reality. The bible is crystal clear on the existence of narcs. Just read Proverbs. It says fools despise wisdom,not to rebuke a fool and how the wicked lie in wait for innocent blood.
If these people are not willing to learn listen to the Holy Spirit regarding them. Surround yourself with people who are willing to grow. It is not your job to change them.
@@victoryinhim9689 yes... The whole demanding forgiveness... Yet openly UNWILLING to apologize or show recognition of THEIR wrong.
That's just secondary abuse.
The church is full of dangerous "people" in leadership.
i still tend to attract narc abuse but luckily I do not get quite so deeply affected by it. Baby steps!
That is because they are everywhere. The key is to recognize them and not allow them into your life or quickly kick them out if they already are.
Me too. They are attracted to my co dependent issues. So I am going to work on my issues.
The easiest way to beat a narc is to have a close spiritual relationship with God.
questions on Christianity but recognizing that fact is only a partial step-you have to do the inner work and healing to truly be whole-„the renewing your mind daily“ -renew to the Love himself
Yes correct!!
Why can't he have a close *physical* relationship with us instead? He's God after all.
Amen! Agree.
Best response period.
Excellent, thank you!
*Your kitty's presence in the video is very soothing.
My pleasure and so pleased you enjoyed Tiggy! xoxox
WOW 😮 I have recently been watching many videos on narcissistic abuse, but this one really spoke to me psychologically and spiritually!! When you said to stand in the truth and to stop hiding the narcissist by allowing him/her to be in the shadows that almost made me cry with relief! It’s like the blazing sword 🗡 of Justice!! That’s exactly what I am doing! 2 narcissist down and now by ex in family court. I have not taken him to family maintenance out of fear but now I am going to expose his lies of hiding income from child support. I think the other 2 narcissist that I confronted with truth and logic were just practicing for my ex because he is a high, covert narcissist! He is Satan 👹
I am so pleased this has helped empower you Gracie. Many blessings to you xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans 🌹🌹🌹🌹
Of course this is helpful, I only hope that I can remember in the moment, and as always, thank you for this.
My pleasure Joe Lee. Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you for your way of sharing these words.
My pleasure Heather xoxox
Thank you so much for these videos. It helps me a lot in my recovery
I am so happy to hear that Moradi, keep thriving hun xoxox
For real 😳 after realizing who they are it’s GAME OVER... that is what I’ve done and am still doing coz she’s my apartment mate in college.... o god let karma and good lessons follow the narcissists
Your kitty is doing pitee-paws...too sweet!
Excellent. Well thought out, and presented. Thank u 4 ur priceless insights!
This info is a godsend at this moment...
Blessings & gratitude... 💛❤💜💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
I CAUGHT him sending sexy pictures and texts with another woman and his response was to say that I was the one who was unfaithful and accused me of admitting to him that I was unfaithful. I was NEVER EVER unfaithful to him and never said I was either. But he was so adamant in telling me I admitted to cheating..I literally felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Idk if he actually believed his own lie, but I knew it was futile to try to find that out
Amazing! Such a real and integrative approach. Very helpful. Taking what I already know to the next level. Strong open and FEARLESS... my new favorite word, my new goal! Subscribed... Thank you!
What dyu mean by moving the fear out... how?
Hi Birdie, I would love to show you how to do this and invite you to the free healing workshop so you can feel the fear moving out of your body for yourself ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
The narc discarded me and stopped communicating with me but he has put my own sister against me and she is not in contact with me. She believes I will hurt her.
Strongwind you might be feeling shocked and horrified and lost and confused and horrible right now but I swear one day you'll be so grateful that he's shown you how cruel he us. You don't deserve thst. No one deserves that. You're not a piece of toilet paper!
So count your blessings, try to believe you'll get through thus and you WILL. You need this msn like you need a hole in the head.
You need peace and comfort and love. Give those things to yourself until you're strong enough to not need them from anyone else. Remember that people treat you the way you treat yourself not the way you treat them. And keep watching these videos
Sorry
I feel so stupid for exposing him. He’s blocked and supposedly someone we both know told him I posted something about narcissists online (I was just expressing the pain I was feeling at the time) ...I regret it so much because he contacted me saying it’s despicable and disgusting and how much he’s done for my daughter and I ...he is now blocked on every social media platform ...I personally feel this is it ...my entire soul has been broken and I will never get it back. I feel bad for “exposing” him and I was wrong I know ...but at this point I think I should just check into a psych ward
You speak out of my Soul.
How did you know? That is exactly what he tried to do to me ... made me feel the rug was pulled out from under my feet and I was going to fall in a chasm. He convinced me through repetition that I was helpless, couldn’t make it on my own, would have no money.
The terror of persecution and annihilation- his affair partner and him were talking of having cops show up at my doorstep at 3 am to scare me.
It’s taken me 6 months with no contact to email my ex narc for the money he promised to pay back to me, but never did. We moved back in together after my daughter and I relocated to another town and into a much larger unit tone with him and his daughter. Even though he promised a 50/50 arrangement with rent etc it never happened. He and his daughter lived with us for 3 months before he decided to leave me out of the blue. His name was on the lease with mine. He never paid a cent for rent or living expenses - it was all me. He insulted the situation further by buying 2 bottles and a 6 pack of beer a night for his addiction, but claimed he had no money to contribute to the household.....I emailed him the broken down amount of what he owes me...now claiming he has no money...but our mutual friends told me he is holidaying! His response to me was that I was responsible for his tax bill (???) and he didn’t think that I was that kind of person....will now be in the hands of a lawyer!! I feeling good if I have rattled him even a little...compared what he did to me financially and emotionally.
the difficult part is how foolish you feel once you discover it was all fake, they never loved you because they cannot , you were not loved, it is so hard to accept that, you start to believe you are unlovable , they laughed at you the whole time the loving words, the praise, the encouragements, the hugs, the warmth I felt was all a rouse, how foolish I feel it is unbearable
Thank you for that great advice. I needed it.
You are SO welcome Juan xoxox
Melanie
There are not words that can express my gratitude to hear I say all the things I’ve lived with with this narc. Even b 4 they were diagnosed with their brain dieing. Now they are more like their real self. I so understand all I’ve sensed about their cold no real empath ect. All talk and no substance and like I said they can’t help it and don’t k is how messed up they are I am now doing what o have to do to notBE totally destroyed. I’m soo happy I found these talked. Help. Other waist I’d still be believing I’m the sic on ect as u said. Thank u. I’ve know for a while they have set me up many times = and sucking me in No more I’m getting better. And becomeing the real me I lost when I married
Hi Melanie, tnx for your great video. I get adrenal burn out 4 years ago, and i still fight will meny chalengeous, .i am hiper sensitive person, and i think i get the worst enemy, my mother in low, when i Expose her not with purpose 20 years ago, when i said straight the head ..or out of the blue i dont understand her relationsheep. She was lier , and still is , and i always fight for thruth and love. . Till then she have war with me, i get horible food alergy on chili and ever when we went to her place, he put some chili on food so i will get an alergic reaction. And the bigest problem is that she manipulate my partner all this year, and he couldnt belive she did did with purpose. Now when i cut with her she drag my partner and call him non stop....i try too not think on her, but she is really evil.
Hi Petra, I did a little video on 'mother in laws' the other day on facebook, I'll leave the link here for you hun, it may help validate all you have written above and help xoxox facebook.com/pg/Melanie-Tonia-Evans-137377772251/videos/?ref=page_internal its the one entitled ... This little video is for all those of you who wanted .....
thx melanie, but i didnt find video..or i didnt recognised the tile...can you gave me a tiitle please or date when you pblished it. it means soo much too me, that someone understand me, and have experience with those people, and show us the way back to our sorce of energy..they took us away. god bless you :)
at this point, even though I have so much work to do that I see now, it's almost to the point that I'd rather send the narcissist a thank- you card 4 my learning to heal me then ever waste a moment thinking about their BS against me again. :-)