Steven Seagal Abnormal Moments (re-upload)
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- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2021
- My original video was taken down by RUclips, I had to censor some titties and reupload it.
Viewcount on the original video was 307 488 at the time of deletion, with 4718 likes. 
Развлечения
Steven Seagal is the real life version, of a 7 year old’s imagination.
lmao that describes him perfectly
Hahaha
Gold.
Spot on!!!
Correct🤣
When he was asked about sexual assault allegations, that was the fastest he's moved since 1989
I'm not going to name her, but I had a roommate that worked as a boom girl on set of one of his movies. Apparently he harrassed nearly every woman on set constantly, and grabbed her ass one day. She kicked him in the nuts and made him cry. I wasn't there, but heard the story corroborated by some of her friends that worked on the same film. He had her fired for it, but I always got the sense that she didn't mind.
@@christiananderson4909 he's definitely a sex pest 🤮
" Mayby faster "
LOL
@@christiananderson4909 🤣🤡
🤣🤣🤣👍
"I think Steven Seagal is arguably one of the greatest martial artists of all time." - Steven Seagal
he'd never say arguably one of... he definitely is THE greatest ever. to himself.
He sat, in the same interview in which he said he correctly predicted that a bulled would be found at the scene of the obviously deceased Brandon Lee, and essentially said that all of the best artists and action stars in Hollywood were not as good as him. I 100% think he both believes that this is true (it isn’t) and that he would say this (he likely has as well). It’s like comparing clothing from Walmart to clothing from Gucci
It's all in the reflexes
Sensei Seagal would never argue about that.
you mean a wannabe martial artist and a bad actor to boot.
That 10km camera pan to Seagal's sniper nest is absolutely hilarious!
i’m pretty sure the building he was on top of was still lower than half the shit in between his target lmao
@@Tommmmmmmmmmmm Sensei must have used telekinesis to manipulate the bullet around the buildings in the way of the target.
Lmao what about when he's sniping and for some reason he shoots every guy in the dick 😂
@@TommmmmmmmmmmmYou don't understand! Bullets are actually projectiles and hence undergo parabolic motion. Steven actually fired the bullet at 30 degree to the horizontal and that's how the bullet basically curved around the taller buildings in the middle. 😂
Was the funniest by far wasn’t it 😂😂
Steven Seagal is the type of guy who eats while sitting on the toilet.
That eats what he shits. :D
Lmfao 😂
Gross 🤢
I think he stops eating when he gets tired
I'm using your line from now on.
Steven Segal is like a living South Park character
exactly. the literal perfect description for him lmao
I feel like he was in southpark?
@@20FreeWill more than likely. if not, then they've missed a trick there, albeit an easy one
Cartman for sure
A walking D-Bag
As Michael Jai White said:
"Steven Seagal can't do something your dad can't do".
He’s an actor who played a cool guy one time and never wanted to stop
He actually was a cool guy and a good actor and let's be honest an OUTSTANDING martial artist too. You're probably just jelous. - Steven Seagal
He’s literally all the mistakes you make when you’re drunk but it’s like he never wakes up and regrets them 😂
You've clearly never seen the Catherine Tate sketch, "Not Drunk Enough"
I've never made false claims of my military service when drunk, or sober. My time in service was never that special. A lot of people are awed by what I got to drive and some other menial things (seriously, some people think driving a bus or HEMTT, etc. is pretty cool), but it's not movie worthy. Maybe a few things I did or seen as a quick joke, but not to base one on.
@@bodyrumuae2914 I was also in the military so I feel it brotha
I wish i would be perma drunk
Lool thats exactly right
Fact: Steven Seagal did an entire movie sitting down.
That takes talent
An action movie at that!
😂😂
Ummmm he's literally done every movie he's "starred" in , in the past 5-10 years sitting down the entire time
Steven Seagal is the old Marlon Brando of Aikido.
He was also in a movie where he fought Mike Tyson, another action movie. Even though they have a physical fight in the movie, they never filmed a scene together. 😆😆😆
"You're an Arab, you're not Mexican"...
Has to be the greatest movie quote of all time...especially coming from someone that is Italian one day and Chinese the next. 👏😂
You forgot the times where he was Cajun, Russian, and Jamaican too
@@no_not_that_onemf has culture vultured more than Drake atp
He's a Russian mongol too
@@iijasonbrody978 How could I forget 😅 Segal Khan
@@no_not_that_one 😂😂👍
I took martial arts lessons as a kid and one thing I've learned is that it is important to have discipline, fight fair and be a good sportsman.
Steven has none of these qualities.
Seagull lives by the George Costanza quote: "it's not a lie if you believe it"
All due respect, that quote is factual 😂
it's amazing how he speaks with whatever accent of the race of the person he's talking to. A true master of the arts
Be water my friend!
The king of improv …
Imitating actuating Mr potatoe man. Never was a hwood chublleski tho.
And good at self promotion..
Yeah we all saw Segura's bit
you know.... journeying down the Steven Seagal rabbit hole long enough you'll actually come to the point where you realize.................
exactly, *do you understand?*
Steven Seagal hungry...
@@shingodzero what are you doing?
@@billybadass3056 I'm Steven Seagal
He explained string theory to Einstein.
He taught Michae Jordan to dunk.
He invented Cinnamon Buns.
He discovered pheromones.
He math’d all the possible maths.
He divided by zero... Twice. Using the alphabet.
He thaught Will Smith to slap
His dad works at Xbox as well
please stop your killing me 😂
He inspired Chuck Norris to write all the Chuck Norris jokes
The lack of self awareness in this man is beyond astonishing, no words to describe it.
exactly what I was thinking, cringy to watch him go haha! Big ups to the creator of this vid!
Narcissism is a perfectly accurate word.
He's like president of Turkmenistan, 1 to 1 comparison
Idiots usually lack self awareness.
How dare you challenge the great one! His lack of self awareness is his greatest strength.
One time when I was walking through a rough area of Japan or America or something, I was attacked by a group of ninjas or yakuza or gangsters or whatever, when suddenly Steven Seagal appeared out of nowhere and spoke to them, real low, in Japanese or native American or something like that and they all bowed and then turned to me and apologised and then left. I turned to thank Steven but he was slowly disappearing into the shadows while awkwardly maintaining eye contact.
If you're reading this, thankyou Steven.
Brilliant!!!! 😂😂😂
Rofl!
Spot on comment (or something like that). Did anyone ever find out "who killed Bobby Lupo"?
I believe you, this happened.
😂😂😂
Women desire him, men want to be him. A true legend in his own mind.
As quoted from Steven
Ah man, bringing back some memories of that time that I too was an underage dishwasher when a ninjutsu master approached me and said "I like to way you wash those dishes boy, you have what it takes to become the next ninja master of the world" and so I did.
Steven Seagal was discovered because of dish-washing skills.
Because a martial arts expert was also a dishwasher and noticed how fast he could wash dishes that has to be the greatest origin story ever
He was flailing his arms when he washed dishes. That’s when the masters knew, he is special.
@@ninh05 Special ed maybe. He literally ripped off Karate Kid
he moved fast on them, and the karate master who worked there was like damn
So is his fighting style dishwasher?
This guy is unintentionally funny at all times.
Because he's intentionally serious all the time.
One of my theories on Seagal is that this man is doing the world's longest bit and the Guinness Book of World Records has yet to stop recording it until his death.
Yet another of the gifts he bestows upon us.
He's a walking joke!
@@marejov83 *sitting.
How has this man not won an academy award yet, such a legendary and great actor, he is always in character in and out of movies
Not certain on this…..actually I am 😂 that’s not how that works lmfaoo
Didn't he win a razzie? u: 😅
No Steven Segal, you won´t deserve academy award at all
As a "karate" master, his fighting skills are about as useful as a glass hammer.
What a bizarre human being. I've met people like him, every time you say you've done something... they've done it better.
You has seen nothing.
@@TheGrmany69 Do tell.
I can write better comments than you.
Pure narcissism and probably a few other diagnoses all bundled up in a fat lazy man
Otherwise generally known as a bullshitter
"You wash dishes fast." And thus Steven Seagal was born. That explains his fighting style.
Of course, why wouldn’t there be a karate master working as a cook at a local restaurant, I thought all cooks were black belts?
Wax on Wax off. Gotta learn to crawl before one walks
@@johnhareiel5118 Seagal is more like "Gotta learn to sit before one sits"
“He is severely hurt, maybe dead” 🤣
What’s so sad is he has to live with himself.
And his own bs
He maybe enjoys life more than we do
lol this. He obviously believes all of this so in his mind his life is pretty fantastic.@@jangolub8240
"Steven seagal is so cool and a kind hearted soul"
- Steven Seagal
"he's so cool" - shigeru miyamoto
Steven Seagal approved this message,
@@kennghost マジか😅😅
Steven Seagal can easily kick his ass w/ one hand tied behind his back while holding a cheeseburger. 🍔
Awesome bait comment hahaha 🤣 GOTEEM
He’s a southern, Russian, Italian, Japanese, karate master, swat team police member, aikido black belt, shooting expert, writer, lawyer, musician, MMA couch and fighter. Totally believable.
don't forget he identifies as native american too
And he's got his mojo working
Dont forget he was traning Bruce Lee and Silva at ufc.
I could use an MMA couch
justa wanna dat couch it good
"There is no actor I've ever met who has the abilities as an actor and a lover like Steven Seagal has."- Steven Seagal
he never even said that...
@@Gerald0613 being humor deficient is okay, and nothing to be ashamed of. You're still a person who matters
The man doesn't do pushups, he just pulls the world towards him.
"He's got the charisma, he's got the look, he's got the action" His opinion about himself.
Steiner....you are just jealous on him...because he is not of your family member :) You see..if his name was a Stain or Weber or something like this then you will loved him forever :))))
@@Julius1225 That's actually very true.
@@stevesteiner6844 Thank you:) Finally someone onest :)
I also love how his ego is so big, he never takes a scratch of damage or has to overcome anything remotely resembling an obstacle in all his movies.
Not true. He was killed pretty early on in that Kurt Russell movie on the airplane.
@@justinbrown3053 Yeah, but the ones that say "written by Steven Seagal" do. So if it's up to him, his character will always be the most powerful one in the movie.
He got hit once when he was looking for Ritchie
He got effed up in the one with Kelly Lebrock… Shot to shit and put in a coma… But yes in the last 22 years you’re right..
He also only ever uses the same the hand motions, that shit is hilarious to me
“It takes the IQ of a mature caterpillar to understand…” 😂😂😂 im gonna use that from now on
God bless whoever made this.
"I sort of lied" a brief moment of genuine honesty from Steven
A real sportsman, genuine A-List actor, serious politician, charismatic speaker, humble when talking about his success - that's Schwarzenegger. And then there's Seagal.
SEAGULL
“Screw your freedom “ - Schwarzenegger 🤨
@@benitomaldonado7080 Yeah, so which of the described attributes is contradicted by that? I've seen the video btw, which puts the sentence into it's context. One can cheaply try to reduce the statement to that sentence, but is a reaction to those who use their freedoms as a shield.
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie 😂
Schwarzenegger is a dickhead and commie libral. LA smog rotted out his common sense.
He is amazing, he built a career from making the same movie over and over again.
Kinda like Liam Neeson
@@TalonNismo
Big difference is that Neeson is a decent bloke and admits he's an actor. Seagal to this day still thinks he taught Anderson Silva on how to throw a kick.
@@TalonNismo Regardless of the state of his present-day career, Neeson can actually act. Spielberg sure as shit wouldn't have picked him to play Oskar Schindler otherwise. Neeson also seems to be a pretty nice guy to be around with
That interview is like watching Donald trump with dark hair
No one loves him more than Steven Seagal
He's just the guy for him.
Legend in his own mind
Steven Seagal has got to be the most ridiculous human being on the planet, it's unbelievable that he actually exists. Totally laughable
You gonna regret saying this when the zombie ninja aliens attack, he is our only line of defence.
and who the f are you what have you done u aint got shit on him and never will your f laughable he would kick your punk ass on the planet huh u are dumb
He's just like trump but with black paint and dye.
Well, a true entertainer.
@@benstakowitz3034 Trump derangement syndrome on effect
I'm a plumber too, and when I fixed that toilet, the family was so satisfied. They literally said they'd never seen plumbing like that. Just fills me with great joy!!
Steven segal singing is another rabbit hole that will keep me amused for days
It must have killed him to flip that table of food
Not if they promised him a 1000 Dollar Happy Meal at Mc Donald´s
🤣🤣🤣Bloody hilarious
🤣😂😂
Acting!
@@muthafuckawhatchusay i read that in Jon Lovitz' voice
Steven is SO fast he thinks in Japanese and translates it into French then into English.
This needs to be a tshirt lol
"They called me in the morning and said, "You're amazing."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Its amazing how well your technique works against opponents moving in slow motion throwing themselves on the ground the moment you strike
Such a refreshingly humble man.
If we only could have more of these people around.
Zen is what he radiates.
Best dishwasher ever.
Would that there were many more like him
....the world would be a much better place
Best comment on here hahaha
Fucking got me 😂😂😂
I think Steven showed just how humble he is by not mentioning the fact he is a brain surgeon, rocket scientist and time traveller in addition to all his other great accomplishments.
Kudos!
Years later maybe we’ll find out he’s Donald Trumps half brother.
@@spendor9377 Lol! That would make perfect sense! If any two people could share DNA, it would be those two clowns.
You forgot to mention he's also a JEB EYE KA NIGHT. YOU OBVIOUSLY DID NOT NOTICE THE DEWALT CORDLESS SHOVEL BEHIND HIS BACK. To help him SHOVEL more Bullshit .😎🤔
His alternate ego is Johnny Sins.
@lagg1e. If you close your eyes and listen at 12:00, you would think it is Trump who is talking.
the seagull is always on the lookout for fries
I swear when Steven talks, it has about as much depth as a 4 year old explaining which ninja turtle is his favorite. Although I do get a chuckle watching his movies as he waddles around, firing weapons wrong, and bad writing.
If I ever develop a terminal illness, tell the make-a-wish people I wanna fight seagal
Sensei Segal is a living meme, and the fact that he doesn’t realize that he makes a fool of himself every time he opens his mouth is hilarious to me
This word gets thrown around a lot these days, but he is a true narcissist.
@@bg22757 there is a reason for that. Because a LARGE percentage of the human population are narcissists. It is a phenomena that should studied more intensely. Must mean something.
@@solomoon3083 if you think the majority of people are narcissists you've never met one for real
@@solomoon3083 I don't think most of people are narcissist, it's normal for a human being to love himself tho but going too far makes him narcissist, also people think that everyone is like them, a thieve doesn't trust others because he thinks people will steal from him, a narcissist thinks that awesomeness is a competition because he thinks everyone is like him
And this man was never heard from again. Never bad mouth Steven seagull. Or you'll get got, or something like that.
Stevens dialogue reminds me of when I talk to myself.
"Can I laugh in your face?" is one of the all time amazing sentences I've ever heard a human speak to another human.
I'm fascinated, he is always in character.
he is a method actor
One day, when the aliens invade, we’ll see what fools we were as Steven Segal obliterates the entire armada with a well-placed hair-grease flying crane kick. He’s gonna put those xeno bastards away like dishes at The Wagon Wheel.
oh my god that cracked me up
NEEDS MORE LIKES!!!!
hahaha, YES
hahahahaha yes! a good man like him going fatly around corners is going for those high value, high level targets as he demolishes fast food supply chains with a swift aikido donut scoop hand to mouth punch, punching and kicking food into his face using the ancient pie gobble technique he discovered in japan when he was 2 months old baby with a pony tail...
I'm done 😂
10:45 this aged so poorly. Bones is literally the fighter Segal thinks he is.
Nobody considers Seagal a master of anything but egotism, SA, bullying and the craft service table.
“All the old masters and senpai introduced me as their senpai” the level of narcissist you have to be to say that sentence with a straight face is astonishing.
its mind blowing, truly
No no, only the delivery man would call him "master"!
Delivery guy: "It's 2am, what do you want?"
Steven "Send pie! It's an emergency!"
(senpai = send pie! 🤣)
@@puppylove3781 😂😂👌
I am left with the impression that Steven Seagal has been in a perpetual mid life crises since the age fourteen.
Thank you for this gem
“The fish is an important, sentient, being” - Steven Seagull
His life story is amazing, he transcends normal space and time, he trained with a master who died before he could train with him, he is an ex navy seal, police officer, ex cia operative, or current he is the only martial artist in hollywood, and he has done all this whilst making in excess of 150 movies, tv shows and putting on 100lbs of muscle around his belly.
🤣🤣🤣sorry im too late but this is so funny🤣🤣🤣
Hope you doing good and i wish you and your Family all the best
@@BlaggRose0279 love the positivity
Don't forget writer and musician
Stevie Seagul is Dr. Who actually
Belly muscle is sexy
It's amazing how his "shoe polish" hair piece hasn't changed for many many years 😂
It has. On a movie he was doing, he fell into the water and all his "real hair" started leaking out!
Kiwi shoe polish, when only the best will do...
He's like a real life NPC
This just goes to show all you dishwashers out there. If you too are fast with the knives and the swords. You can be a superstar ninja-like Steven Seagull..
Greatest actor ever! Never breaks character.
Bro has been keeping Kayfabe alive his whole career. Hahaha
bad actor and a joke.
its just boomerkino / boomercore. they love it
What is the reverse of a character actor?
Or a sweat
The best part is he really believes deep down that people take him serious. its amazing I can watch every Seagal interview over and over
Been watching heaps...the guys fried, it's hilarious
what a horrible addiction
Kudos to the interviewers who see his BS, but act like they believe everything he tells them. I'd love to see an interviewer do that, and after the interview is over and Seagal walks away, the interviewer looks at the camera and says "What a dick!".
@@JoeR203 He actually believes he showed Aderson Silva how to do a front kick. One of the most basic kicks that pretty much anyone can do.
@@jesseolson3142 Yeah but in the shape Seagal is currently in, he probably only kicked an ankle.
9:35 that weapon manipulation tho 😂😂😂
When you start believing your own lies, you’re on the road to personal Armageddon…
Steven is still SOOOOOOO fast! So fast you don't even see his fingers move when he's playing guitar!
So fast you can't see him eating at a buffet. The food just disappears, as if by magic!
He's the wind
Or doing dishes apparently
He can literally make a guitar talk, as in:
...."Put me back in my case, please!"
@@MutarFuqueer he looks like he has trapped wind 💨
The guy has a knack for making anything visibly false
Either it´s him or what makes more sense.....
All of us.
He is in character 24/7 😂
This is a hilarious mash-up! Great stuff.
"Many consider me one of the great masters in my own field" is such a nice line.
Amazing isn't it? Like not even THE greatest in his own field, ONE OF the greatest. Implying there's some dude out there who's outstevenseagalling Steven Seagal. The retardedness of this shameful blob never ceases to amaze me.
I just might use that one on my next job interview
It’s just no one really knows what field that is.
yeah, the other cows got nothin on him
Truly a legend in his own lunchtime.
Ive been studying this man for 57 years now (Im 34 btw) and Ive come to the conclusion that he is god. Thank you.
(Im also a russian mongol.)
There is only one God, and it can't be Steven. He's mocked by everyone. (I know you're joking, btw)
I want to extend my heartfelt admiration to you and your studies on the “Seagul!” Very few people have shown the aptitude for studies of this depth. That being said, you will forever be known as the leading Seagulologist on the planet.
Are you his father?
Seagal is such a character that I can't even tell when he's "acting" and when he's just being himself...
2:33 I'm laughing so fucking hard right now because this just makes it seem like he's just some mass shooter , killing random civilians !
His lack of self awareness coupled with his insane amount of delusions of grandeur is a quality he has that would be hard for anyone else to come even close to or even replicate.
Trump.
@@SofaKingQuick close
I don't know much. But I know that Steven Seagal must have voted for Donald T****. They're cut from the same fake-macho cloth.
@@SofaKingQuick not even close
@@mikewheeler3994 You're right, trump far surpasses Segal's rich fantasy life. I actually think trump should pick Segal as his running mate. That would cap off perfectly the state of the republican party. The only problem would be Segal wouldn't want to be vice president.
The era of goatee seagull is gold, cant wait for more seagull produced film's where he waddle, sits down, and talk nonsense in 90 minutes 😂
A fellow Jason Brant fan eh?
Goatee Seagall is the final step in the chain of sensei evolution.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Sifu Seagal, baby.
He uses Aikido to move out of the path of any acting coaches or nutritionists.
I lowkey think Steven might be related to Tito Ortiz, same breed of intellectual unicorns!
imo steven seagal is one of the greatest US- comedians ever - he never fails to put a smile on my face
Especially during his martial arts demos
This guy is either a comedic genius or he never grew out of the Bruce Lee fantasy phase of childhood 😂😂😂
Hey! Bruce Lee was real!
Idk something like that
I think the same thing every damn day
Man what a life Steven Seagal has
1. He is a Martial arts master trained by the founder of Aikido himself
2. He taught Bruce Lee
3. He was the first white man to own a chain of Dojos in Japan
4. He fought the Yakuza
5. He is an action star and the only one that is a legit Martial Artist who can fight
6. He became a Mafia Boss
7. Was an Elite Navy SEAL
8. Was a CIA operative/consultant
9. Trained UFC Champions
10. A Diety declared by the Dalai Lama
On top of it all? He is a Buffet Master
I think "Abnormal" is a perfect word choice for describing a majority of Steven Seagal's actions.
Abnormal is probably the best word to describe this man.
Well at least he is memorable... i think there are many ppl that envy him for all of his godgiven talents
@@smokill91 God given talents? name me 1 talent he has hes bad at everything, and when you think hes good at something hes actually a pathalogical liar
He also kinda looks like an abnormal from Attack on Titan.
Is there gonna be a movie named like that starting him in the future?
Bell-end is a good one, too.
I’ve known many guys like him. The desire to feel like the world only exists for them to have a place to be seen is unbelievable.
It is called Antisocial Narcissism.He is actually a very dangerous criminal.
It’s funny because, though I am no expert, aikido teaches and reinforces humility in those who seek to learn the style. Steven must have fallen asleep during that part. What an ego he’s got.
masterfully edited
Ive known a few compulsive liars in my life and they are all exactly like this. They don't even care if its believable after a while, and they lie when there's no reason to hide the truth. Its truly a compulsion. The best thing you can do is have them guide you on a build your own adventure story.
Sometimes I wonder about my choices in life man. Look at where he is now, him shoveling manure has got him so far lol..
@@chucknorrisffs bingo
Aaron carter was like that.
Thought I was the only person who enjoys rolling with the choose your own adventure story approach when encountering that 😂
His lack of self awareness is astounding.
The dishwasher thing 1:42
I've never laughed so hard what the hell 🤣 😂
The funniest 🤣 thing about Steven seagal is he truly believes everything he says
Because he is a narcissist.
Or sad
He is master sensei
Until Jean Claude VD defied him, then he had the only short moment of clarity in his life and apologised and ran away
He's the Donald Trump of Hollywood
It's almost like this guy has tried his hardest to become the opposite of what Keanu Reeves is.
Except in acting and movie quality, they both suck at that.
@@vanderlei1765 Wtf dawg keanu has been in john wick, the matrix, constantine and many other movies that are highly praised upon while steven has like one
@@theonlyplain lol "highly praised", although he hasnt dropped as low as Seagel those films can hardly be called the pinnacle of filmmaking and his acting skills are close to none.
Steven Seagal needs to be the villain in John Wick 5.
@@DankPope oh my god i need that!!!
3:20 best part 🤣
In every single one of his movies, seagal is just lighting up unarmed people, massacring everyone lmao
When cops, the army, master martial artist, and the CIA need a man on top of his game to give them advice they call this overweight b list actor who is almost 70 years old. Thank you for your service to the world Steven
B level? You are very generous with that one
He was considered A-list in the nineties before his ego ruined everything.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 That went away fast after two good movies.