Why Are Relationships Getting Worse?
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
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It's funny that he accidentally or purposefully quotes Machiavelli, "When necessity is gone, only rot and decay remains."
Sounds like a quote from the DS3 dlc:
Painted World of Ariandel; by a certain Corvian Settler about the total and absolute decay of his life, community and the overall state of the illusory world:
"Surely you've seen the rot that afflicts this world. But that witch fooled the good Father, and buried the flame.
After we had all made up our minds, too.
So, please, grant us one wish.
Make the tales true, and burn this world away.
My Lady must see flame, and you have only to show her.
I can hear the crackling from here.
The sound of my home, the painting of Ariandel, burning away...
When the world rots, we set it afire.
For the sake of the next world.
It's the one thing we do right, unlike those fools on the outside." -Corvian Settler
I honestly think that the dark triad and Machiavellian traits do well in ancient and modern society. It's about out-competing everyone else, and getting your needs met at another's expense. And then we wonder why society is so messed up.
@@CatsMeowOwO Interesting. Thank you for sharing. Dark Souls has fascinating lore, which partly inspired by Berserk, which is a masterpiece in and of itself.
Not a smart quote
@@CatsMeowOwO TLDR
Understanding the context of our ancestral selective pressures always helps make sense of today's issues. It's a key component that's missing in medicine quite frequently.
and whats that?
@@kani-licious I don't mean any one thing specifically. Just the general description of the ecological factors that dictate what traits natural selection would find good or bad for survival. Which of course is the explanation for the entirety of not only species diversity, but the complexity and diversity of our biology and subsequent psychology.
A specific example would be explaining why so many humans find sugar to be addictive. We evolved to prize sugar as a source of food because it's an excellent source of energy, but rare to encounter. In today's world of minimum energy expenditure coupled with easily accessible sugar you get health and behavioral problems.
Edit: This not only offers a causative explanation, but can also tell us about the fundamental nature of the issue. Eventually leading doctors to not blanket ban sugar from a diet and tell patients to abstain, but more towards a more holistic approach of treatment. For example, put less blame on the person eating the sugar, recognize the utility of sugar in a diet, and appreciate how easy it can be to eat sugar when it is cheap, equitably available to the masses, and often added to many foods.
@@jdata On the other hand evolutionism can also lead to a lot of dangerous and wrong conclusions, especially when we try to explain differing traits between groups from an evolutionary perspective. We tried that in the past and ended up with lots of life-destroying pseudoscience. E.g. race theory.
That doesnt change the fact that most of it is true.
@jdata
Good example. Well said. Thanks
This makes me feel alone
I’m in the same boat with you bro
if anything this is a reality check, that relationships are meaningful, necessary, and not going to be removed from our lifestyles
Come here bro I’ll hug you
this should be a wake up call to seek human connection not even romantically just any kind of companionship
*gives hug*
you don't have to be. you can always make the choice of going out there, or on the internet to connect with people. won't always be easy, but yk, it's a learning experience.
This explains why the workplace culture is often so tight in restaurants. Everyone needs each other for help with everything, so they all become besties and lovers.
ive been working in restaraunt for year or two, couldn't make any friends, not to mention relationship...
In my experience, restaurants are more like dysfunctional families and half the people hate each other
Have you ever worked in a restaurant? The environment is fucking awful
@@shepard-commander that describes my case perfectly, environment was too busy and kinda toxic
@@shepard-commanderYes, absolutely this ☝️. And keep in mind that sometimes management fosters that dysfunction on purpose, because the last thing they want is employees who all love each other…if that’s the case, when they screw over one employee they risk everyone walking out at once. Or collective bargaining for better wages/conditions with the threat of everyone walking out.
I think this is partially a reason why kids nowadays have a more tumultuous relationships with their parents. In the 1960s if your parents pissed you off in your teens you could just work at your local grocery store and be able to afford rent for a decent sized apartment. Now days you’re stuck under a roof with someone who has almost complete control over your survival. Abusive and narcissistic parents use this to control relationships in a way that was once not possible.
Agree. Feel bad for people who are stuck in those abusive households. Family is supposed to be the basis for empathy and socialization. With enough friends they can move out, but with poor socialization there’s usually lack of friends
Amazing comment. That is also another reason why relationships are failing. If their family is controlling, people will prefer freedom. Hope all is well😊.
This is the case for so many millenials and gen z. Well put.
I'm a millennial who's stuck living at home because of economic reasons. My relationship with my parents is fine, but I've caught myself getting more irritated as time goes on. If nothing else it's a blow to the ego that the standard is "move out and start your life at 18" and I can't do that yet.
this is why we need an untaxed guaranteed livable basic income for every single person immediately, under 18 included. people need control over their own choices.
the 'need' part can also be troubling, too. i don't want to feel needed, i want to feel wanted. i had a "friend" who couldn't validate themselves and had exhausted everyone else around them, and so i was the only one left. they needed my validation every day, but boy did they not want me. and they showed how little they wanted me by not caring about my feelings. but they still needed my validation, so they couldn't break off our "friendship" until i put my foot down. i need my self-respect more than i need to feel needed.
Couldn't have said it any better
this makes so much sense for the ‘friend’ that me and my partner feels is an energy vampire. We are needed but not wanted
I still can't understand the difference between "want something and need something" also idk what is validation, give me an example cuz I'm dyslesic.
I like the distinction you make, but I would say they needed a validation machine in form of a human, not the human. The same is true to some degree for all human interactions ( you want to make friends in your social groups, regardless of who is in that social group (to some extent)), but as you learn and become close with other people you ought to start caring about them as an actual persons, not just means to your (social) ends. E.g., you don't start socializing with your classmates/course mates due to their personality, but because of their proximity. If those relationships become friendships then you care about them as unique people.
@@hyberkonawa272 "Need" means it's a necessity for you to survive. Like water, you need to drink it to survive and be healthy.
"Want" means you can live without it, but you desire to have it. Let's say your favourite snack is pizza. You don't need it but you want to eat some pizza.
Hope that makes sense
Life is too short for that. My mental health and overall happiness vastly improved after leaving the USA and taking my web development skills to the Philippines. I now have a huge network of friends who treat me like family and a loving partner that's a web developer like me. I was happy alone, but after how I've been treated abroad, I kind of feel like I wasted a lot of my youth not living.
Wow happy to hear that pre
Exactly. The west has chosen capital snd profit over social and the community.
So, in short:
The west went to shit and we are fooling ourselves into thinking the rest of the world is equally as bad when it simply just isn’t.
As an expat in one of those SEA countries myself, I sincerily doubt it. Or you're very naive.
@@OveRaDaMaNtHim: "I'm very happy now"
You: "You must be wrong because I think so"
Wtf is wrong with you
But in my perception that makes a healthy relationship even more beautiful and special.
My wife and I are together not because we have to but because we found each other and wanted to.
You're living the dream 🫶 so happy for both of you!
exactly, wanting to and needing to are two different things. just like you i think the former is healthier
The problem is that this type of relationship is not scalable.
You most likely rely on each other in ways not considered “needs,” but are mutually beneficial.
good to hear that someone actually has a good relationship, many others don’t have the same luck.
"Necessity is the mother of invention."
Also for anyone who may find this realization depressing, please try to see it instead as a form of freedom. Without as strong of an inherent need for each other as we once had, we are more free to CHOOSE each other rather than be compelled to stay in possibly bad relationships.
i personally would like to see more effort in relationships then I see.
Beautifully put. Now we are free to choose a partner based on shared interest, kindredness & mutual love n support.
You're the bad guy if you choose someone and they don't choose you back
@@NickGreiner1988Without specificity of the situation, there's a leap of judgment to think the guy who chooses someone who didn't choose them back is suddenly the bad guy. It's way too soon to moralize this statement.
For example, I just had someone who confessed their feelings to me, but I didn't reciprocate back because I was still a contented single man when he asked me out. And it could've been so easy because we are both homos. Yet, we are still buddies today because of our shared interests and creative skills as illustrators, even though I later fell in love with a different man instead of choosing him like he once chose me.
Perhaps I would've thought a guy like this one would be problematic if he refused to respect my decision and kept trying to hit me.
@@BuizelCream that was just an example of my own experiences and the experiences of others which I have witnessed... With women, if you become the person they have to say no to, you become a lot less important to them if you were friends prior. There is no acceptable way to react to a rejection as a hetero man. Damned if you do damned if you don't type thing.
People need people. Forget where I heard that, but haven’t been able to get it out of my head, and is the only thing left I have to try to regain a handle on my mental health. Yet with billions of other people out there, it is still so hard to find your people. And hard not get disheartened about it.
My options are loneliness or becoming gay
Technology has made it so you can find and make communities with like minded people across the world online in exchange for being limited to your local area and forming communities that could benefit you in the event said technology fails.
@@lunard8690AI robot waifus
@@lunard8690bro lost hope
Barbra Streisand.
The idea that we today don’t need each other is an illusion. When the power goes out, no internet, food distribution network goes down, water sanitation breaks down, you’ll realize you needed people more than anyone else in history.
Also, if you’re ordering food online, you are needing others. The farmer, the driver, the grocery store workers… just because it’s removed, does not mean we are suddenly all alone. It’s all an illusion.
I agree but at the same time, this video still has a valid point. As a society, we are increasingly dependent on each other to survive and prosper. At the same time, though, our interactions are increasingly less personal and less direct. Relationships no longer form out of necessity which isolates anyone who lacks the skills or motivation to actively seek out relationships.
Oh surely a farmer sits all day long in his room ordering food
The whole point of the video is relatable to a small group of urban westerners, who have nonessential jobs
Good luck surviving like that in the most of the world.
@@AndrewFantonthat’s me unfortunately
I think third party exist for survival MONEY, like i need you to survive deliver food internet etc and you need my money also i need money i guess
It’s actually ironic cause we actually need each more then ever for survival, our society is highly complex and specialized, so there is a myriad of people out there working to make things function, it’s just that as Dr. K says, there is no real face to face contact.
@@Jets228 good point.
@@Jets228 Well, one can argue that was always the case though. I work remotely and I still intently need my coworkers or the people who operate the gym I frequent etc. This distinction people make between the functionality of a society that bolsters their every need and want and their own "individual" needs seems rather pointless to me. Nobody has evolved to not need one another just because we can buy relatively advanced sex toys and binge netflix in our homes. There have been lonely/individualistic people for ages but we still need one another.
What you're describing results in a lot more people who are and feel redundant than critically important specialized workers, it's Universe 25
We are increasingly alienated from each other, but that can look different based on your income level. Ex: Not leaving an abusive spouse because you can't afford rent on your own. No time to socialize because always working (overtime or graveyard shift).
I wouldn't say my spouse is abusive but they're emotionally neglectful.
I sleep alone, they hardly talk to me, get all their socializing from other people, and (sometimes loudly) ERP in the other room.
But tell me they love me and refuse to accept me taking about divorce. That takes money that I literally do not have.
I feel trapped and alone while in a relationship. I've brought up this relationship isn't healthy for either of us.
And the I also feel guilty for having feelings basically because spouse thinks to get me snack and little things like that. Like there's some consideration, but I'm so tired of feeling alone in a relationship and feel like I'm dragging them down because I can barely function and it's just getting worse.
And it's really screwy to know that not only can you not afford to get a divorce (or be able to take yourself to the courthouse) but it's not that's what you want. But what you want ain't happening. All while the math ain't mathing.
@@chaossmith3864I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re able to separate from this person if they’re unhealthy for you and things don’t change.
@@ghost-gi9er
Thanks
I think the situation isn't great for either of us. I get that it sucks to see someone you care about suffering and a lot of stuff around someone deteriorating logistics wise.
But at the same time it's not good for me to end up feeling like a roommate at best and a less than human scum burden and annoyance at times.
It's just not healthy for either of us. Which is what makes it worse. I want my spouse to be with someone they want to be with, that they enjoy being around.
We THINK we don’t need each other by design, but we do
I don’t think the problem started when we stopped needing each other. It started when people decided that some groups of people should have their needs met, at the expense of others. That’s why a lot of people are happier now that they’re free to choose who they want in their life, as opposed to having to put up with people because they needed them.
You will always have something that you want more than what you currently have. There are so many options now(in all aspects of life) which we werent designed to handle. So having to work out a rocky relationship from both parts and chosing to stay with someone is less attractive than finding someone new
@@Eudaimonia239 sure there’s people who’d rather find someone new instead of repairing a good relationship, but I’m talking about how people are no longer forced to stay in relationships out of necessity. If it’s a bad relationship, you’re allowed to walk away. That wasn’t always the case. And with that in mind, for people to choose a relationship, they’re no longer willing to put up with the same kind of treatment because they are not forced to.
The reason this matters is because if we want people to stay in relationships and repair them, they need to be good. As people we need to get better at taking care of each other and being kinder, otherwise we’d just be going back to a time where people didn’t have a choice, and that’s not fixing the issue.
Like fr and the fact that he only lists that guys need sex say A LOT ahow he think about women. He never lists that women need men only for sex. This is a huge failure in how we're raising boys.
@purrrrrrrple I hear you, but he’s also framing this as a dysfunctional thought process.
THIS
We always need each other, people just think they don't
He's saying for survival not for other things like mental health or entertainment
@@Nygon08Mental health is survival, Hence why some people take their own lives. A rotten brain can easily convert to a rotten body.
@@env1878 but they dont = eachother if you go that way you could say tiktok is survival because someone would probably end up killing themselves if it ended up getting deleted so its kind of a stretch
I don't think you watched the short lol@@Nygon08
I think this lack of necessity is also making it so we don't develop the skills necessary to deal with people anymore - we lack the practice, and the crutches we use in it's stead aren't actually helpful, and make us develop even worse interpersonal skills in its stead. Which makes the relationship development even _more_ difficult because in the fewer situations where we actually interact, it goes poorly from mismatched expectations, unhelpful information, and straight-up mistreatment from all sides that it sours things on both ends. We hardly know what we're doing, mess up, and a lot of the resources we have available aren't as helpful as we need them to be, creating a vicious cycle.
People would rather rot by themselves than to take the time and dedication to love and care for someone else.
So true. In my late teens and early 20s I spent most of my time living in the projects with my boyfriend. There was a much larger sense of community there compared to isolated suburbia where I grew up. People would have cookouts where neighbors would drop in, watch eachothers kids, just drop by to share groceries or spend time. People there knew eachother by name and leveraged their community to enhance their life. That’s not needed as much in suburbia and so people keep to themselves.
Agreed, I have no idea who most the people are that live in my neighborhood, I know the next two houses and the one across the street, but that's it.
Oh my god that’s why I like my friend because they have legitimately been preventing me from killing myself and given me a purpose
That is so beautiful! You are needed to someone and wanted by many more in the past and in the future!
You dont need a purpose. At the end of your life what will matter is how much of your life you enjoyed, what you learned, how you treated people and how you made them feel and how did you impact the world and people around you. You dont need to do great things to have a positive impact on the world, hold the door open for someone, cheer someone up, make a person laugh, help someone up after a fall, small things like that matter too.
Cringe
This is why I love having friends. Fills much of the same things, even if people will not agree with me, without all of the rules and codes of conduct and engagement that relationships come with.
(Note: I’m mildly autistic, and never focused on learning how the social rules of relationships work which might play into all that)
With all due respect, you have nothing to compare your level of satisfaction with. I have been single and married, and nothing comes close to the happiness and companionship your spouse gives you. No matter how loyal your friends are, they're not family - they will prioritize their own family's needs over you any day, as they should.
I agree, maybe only having friends isn’t enough for some people, but for others and if you have the right friends it is truly wonderful and more than enough
@@GIR177Nah some people prioritize friends.
My spouse absolutely does.
I agree with this! It feels more genuine to me because the only reason you stay together is because you genuinely enjoy being around each other
I think people make friends over the internet. It’s different because the body is less involved, so it’s more about a mental friendship. Like I saw that a study found that friends tend to smell similar or like each other’s smells; well that’s not going to be a factor for online friendships.
Do people even pick up and notice smells in groups?
Relationships are not effective when they are virtualized. You have to meet people in real life
@@sp123 they're not virtual. Virtual means fictional. They're still real people, the mode of communication doesn't change that
Once you're out of internet friendships, you're not going back to them. They're just better than nothing.
Mutual need and a history of mutual reliance is so powerful. I’ve met young people who are shocked to learn I maintained close friendships with people with opposite political beliefs. They don’t understand that the fact that these women and I have traded childcare and been there for each other through marital troubles, health troubles, and money troubles outweighs how any of us feels about some, mostly hypothetical, political issue.
Especially when everyone bundles all the issues a party supports together. People seem to think they can tell everything about your political opinion from a single issue or word. You want gun rights, you must think abortions should be illegal in all cases. You want abortions to be legal, you must think no guns should be privately owned by any citizen ever. Real people are usually more nuanced.
I need my husband for emotional survival and he needs me. we often tell each other we couldn’t fathom how to go on without each other. We feel like we’d drop dead of “broken heart syndrome” (look it up).
People have said that’s not healthy but we never cared because we know no one ever known has a healthier relationship dynamic and happier love than we do.
Knowing this, i think that loving without holding back and admitting we feel helpless to survive without the other reason is not only a result of our relationship satisfaction but simultaneously a cause of our relationship satisfaction. It reinforces everything.
Want a great relationship? Don’t be an afraid to need your partner. Don’t be all independent- be interdependent
We do need each other to survive though. If you order groceries, someone has to deliver them. If you work from home, there is someone who has to allow you to do so (when you're not self employed) and someone to provide you with a computer or supplies or whatever. We need others for survival nearly as much as in the past. The thing is we just don't see or know most of them.
Seeing and knowing the people you interact with was his point. We do still rely on others, but you don't need to know them on a personal level - hence decaying relationships. In the past you didn't have a choice but to go interact with someone in-person if you needed something. And that person is probably one of the few guys in town who sells milk or whatever, so you see him often.
Today we can get a lot of stuff without ever having to talk with the people producing or bringing us our stuff.
I absolutly agree. I live in a huge city and I have access to everything from my house. But the better thing I can do for my mental helth is meeting the people I love
It can be a nice reminder that the people around you and that you’re around are purely by both of your choice and it’s kinda beautiful if you think about it.
Not only do we not need other people, maintaining relationships is extra work on top of being over worked for survival.
We love and need you in this world, stay strong king✌️
I dont want to mix with people bc of these reasons People are so egotistic, materialistic, and narcisistic And the way people reacted towards covid i lost faith in humanity I hope we improve
I do like doing everything for myself. But I'd love to go back to bartering services to get extras from people. I'd love to meet people because I want to hear artists make music and get cool wall art or jewelry or puzzles, whatever.
I'd have an easier time making friends that way too since I'd be going to find stuff I like and have a reason to be obviously valuable to the other people around too.
you can find people to do that with now, we dont collectively have to go back to a bartering system
As an introvert, I hate the idea of bartering. I just want see a price and buy something.
Bartering wasn’t even a system people generally used in the past. That’s a fiction that early economists proposed along their way to explain how money was invented. Check out David Graeber’s history of debt for more context.
Exactly! Paradise for an introvert like me! I love staying at home (note: I do go grocery shopping myself, I don't order those) and ordering things :)
Good luck starting a family or with your mental health then
@@olegnaumov225 Introverts mentally thrive in solitude. That's why they don't want to be around other people. It's extroverts that suffer issues like anxiety and loneliness when they are alone. Extroverts need to be with people to be healthy and happy.
@@00x0xxIt's a myth that introverts don't feel lonely. If anything else, introverts feel loneliness at a deeper level.
@@CW91 That's incorrect. People who feel lonely when they are alone are not introverts. They are extroverts that are unable to live an extrovert lifestyle they desire, hence their loneliness. Their soul is telling them something is wrong in their current social circle.
You still need people. Who stocks the grocery shelves. Who plants the plants, processes them, and ships them to the store? Who paves the roads you walk, bike, or drive on? You need people. Tough nuggies.
So we are going through a important phase because now the relationships that will stay will be gold. They wouldn’t sustain bcz of social pressure or material needs. But they will sustain when the need and bond is of minds , of their spirit.
I recon this is a good thing ❤
So…we are now being prompted to expand and evolve into choice? Possibly, that would require growth of critical thinking skills into long term mental and emotional benefit, not just physical comfort. I’m into it.
Critical thinking skills are always good to have but aren't always beneficial for mental and emotional well being. Loneliness is at a high more than it ever was and critical thinking isn't gonna change the feeling of loneliness but rather it tends to lead to more sadness and isolation. Love isn't logical and something that can be acquired by thinking hard enough.
It's highly illogical to do activities you hate just to be with people you tolerate ... And this way you'll soon hate most things and won't be able to stand a single human being. I tell that because I've been walking the path of self improvement and I've came far. My body is quite powerful, I understand my feelings, my only drug is caffeine, I have a healthy relationship with my job and I simply can't find joy in interacting with people.
Eating garbage and drinking poison just so I can share the company of people I tolerate to the point we can build a friendship ... Nah, thanks. But this way I'm entirely isolated, I interact with clients and colleagues but it's just business, I have almost no "facultative" interactions and no deliberated chosen interaction.
As most people that walked the self improvement path for too long I'm basically a sage in solitude in the middle of the mountains, the difference is I still work my 10-5 job. So trust me improvement by oneself is a path of solitude at (in the) best (days) and loneliness at worse (which is most of the time in the path)
Once you go long enough on that road you rational brain will end up supressing the majority of your emotional/instinctive circuitry and at that point loneliness becomes a minor aching. Give the world a few more generations and we'll be adapting just ok to this
@@Dj0enderman3000 You say that when I'm over here programing my very own companion. I've been feeling really fulfilled lately. As they in a sense need me and I need them.
We kinda just help each other out, I at least think its pretty cute.
Critical thinking as in, now that interaction is not “needed” to simply survive physically (food, shelter, etc) as he is staying in the clip, we as people need to choose to interact - for our mental and emotional well-being - instead of interaction being build into everyday life as a bi product of physical survival. It’s a choice, which would require frontal lobe, executive functioning, critical thinking.
This explains the rise of charisma. In the old days, you didn't need charisma, or rizz, or game, or whatever trendy phrase that people might come up with. People needed each other so that was more or less the default. That need fostered connections. Modern day relationships have become too charisma dependent, and looking at history, that is definitely not a natural way of being.
tbh as soon as you told me that "rizz" came from "charisma" i shut down and stopped reading because my mind was blown.
@@80espiaythis has been a thing for a while now
@@80espiay do you know where gyat comes from
@@falcongamer58 I actually don't but I'm going to google it now.
Nope, and don't care. I'm going to be like space dandee. He was up front with it, to respect the booty
I notice my mental health is significantly made better seeing sunlight, eating hearty foods, and spending time with my people. Sometimes all you really need is someone to talk to during lunch on a sunny afternoon to feel whole again :)
We have animals locked in zoos for decades with no friends
@@ntl9974 Zoos? Lol factory farming is far far worse than zoos.
@@faust8218 zoos take the biggest animals. More intelligent animals end up suffering more. We're not farming lions, elephants, tigers, etc etc
I dont know, I dont think everyone has the same requirements socially. I do think I need some occasional contact in order to bounce thoughts off of them and to have an occasional discussion but I dont need to know a person very well for that.
I desire to have friends, but I see my friends very infrequently compared to others and we tend to simply converse and exchange ideas and ideals. I also dont desire to be in a relationship the same as others, I would need to know someone on a very deep level to even consider being in a romantic relationship with them and my tendency towards seclusion combined with my strange personality means this is unlikely. Despite this I have no sadness at this fact, I dont feel as though I need much more then an occasional conversation.
I am actually rather content, though still making progress towards distant goals. I feel good about my life and I am thriving in spite of this social climate, I am lucky enough to be resistant to the emotional drought. Not everyone can be drought resistant like me though, not everyone can be the cactus.
Also my behavior would be incredibly disadvantageous for most of human history. For most of human history independence wasnt possible and when it was its not exactly easy to spread your genes when you dont desire to spread them.
I relate to this! I have a few friends and I enjoy talking to them about my life and theirs but I’m content to go a long time without speaking to them and I have no desire for a romantic relationships either (unless one builds slowly and naturally which feels unlikely) because that is enough for me
This is the right nuance. I love it!
Companies are fighting to get people to stop working from home, but they fail to take things like this into account when persuading their employees to come back to the office, and city planners are not helping.
It's hard to move millions of people into more pleasant towns and cities. The most realistic option (which is still unrealistic) is building new towns and cities with better planning, people move there, and then demolish the cramped cities to rebuild them better
@@falcongamer58 it’s hard but some cities aren’t even trying to do things like “good public transport” that would take tons of pressure off both PT-users and road-users.
@@80espiay can you run for office?
Add to that, the lack of privacy. Privacy in every sense; privacy being alone, privacy in spending time together, privacy in going out together, privacy in eating together.
The last person I was with always wanted to bribg a friend in, and was always texting and calling.
I think this is why people need to learn to be alone, cause once you have spent years alone you realize that you really do need another person for your survival, sure all your biological needs can be taken care of alone, but to truly survive you need another person
I would change this from "to truly survive you need other people" to "to truly LIVE you need other people."
People can survive just fine without others, but they're not truly living at that point. People are missing out on so much of what life has to offer by rejecting their social needs.
This is exactly what Dr K spoke about. After taking necessity out of the equation tanking other people's shit is much harder. I had a 5 year long relationship and we loved each other but also made each other eat a ton of manure to the point where as we helped each grow we got to a point we couldn't stand each other's crap anymore.
I loved her and she loved me but we simply couldn't treat each other right to a point it was worth it. If we needed each, as we did in the beginning because we both had no self-esteem or confidence, we would still have stood each other had we still needed each other.
Now that we don't need anyone for anything except socialization which is the only antidote for the terribly debilitating but never lethal poison of loneliness we simply can't stand all the bs fountain other people are. BHDT (Been here, doing that)
@@gamemeister2905 Agreed although even in terms of survival, going solo is bad for your health long term. Some people can look after themselves their whole lives but that's not guaranteed for any of us.
@@gamemeister2905 It's kinda false, at some point you're gonna be sick, injured,too old to do things alone ..etc and gonna Need help, people usually get that help from their partner or kids hence why family is important.
While Living solo you're gonna survive until you can't anymore; In the long run, we really need others for survival, we just have the illusion that we don't in today's world.
@overlordfemto7523 dude women are allowed to develop emotionally while we insert our feelings up our backdoors and call it dealing with our feelings. Just because they cry their eyes out while we "tank" it doesn't mean we deal better with it, more often than not it's exactly the opposite.
That's a convincing point since necessity is one of the bonding factors in relationships.
*Ironically, pornography exists because of most women sidelining lonely (nice) men.*
*But relationships not working goes far deeper than what is explained in the video - boys and girls are RAISED not needing each other - boys are taught to rely on boys and girls are taught to rely on girls - our culture teaches that the opposite gender is not to be trusted and that needing someone in a relationship is "codependency" (a made-up concept).*
I think the term "need" is strongly misused here.
Like yea, he is right. we don't NEED each other, but we have increased depression and suicide rates across the board.
We do NEED each other to be healthy. We may not need it for the most basic definition of survival, but we do need each other for healthy, fulfilling lives.
yeah true thats what threw me off as well about his explanation and wording. And it's really not a bad thing that we're pickier with our partner choices nowadays. We're doing our mental health a favor if we avoid and reject abusive and toxic ppl, which we couldn't do if we would need each other for actual survival. Relationships aren't getting worse. It's just that we can pick someone now by the factor of who's actually good for us mentally
@@qlubnikaa Mostly agree. The issue is that nobody is good for you. It's about doing the work for a relationship. I have friends (not saying everyone does this but I know a lot do) who meet someone and they have a couple issues but instead of talking to them about it and helping them work on stuff while also working on themselves they write it off as red flags and not worth the effort and just jump from person to person never finding anyone.
Just my thoughts based on what I see, of course.
@@nickNcar I see what you’re saying. We need to learn to learn to tell the difference between red flags and orange flags. Abusive people shouldn’t get second chances, but mild annoyances can be worked through.
@@richerDiLeftoI think an issue there might be that one person might think some things they do are mild annoyances while the other person might be thinking “I keep telling them how much this annoys me, they won’t stop doing it. It’s driving me nuts. I don’t have to put up with this”. We all have different limits, different values, different standards. In some relationships, couples will adjust to each other. In others, one person might adjust while the other either won’t adjust or might just not be aware. I think sometimes people simply just don’t fit each other.
It depends on your definition of "need" I think. We don't strictly _need_ other people to survive in the biological sense, but we need them to make our lives worthwhile. A life without other people in it is nothing more than a cold prison. Turns out, having a reason to live is important to survival.
I love me. It’s not up to me if someone wants to stay. It is up to them to decide if they want to tag along.
Sounds like cope for being single
@@kotorandcorvid4968 it’s not. No one is obligated to invest into me. And I’m not entitled to another person. Of course I’d appreciate it that kind of attention however, it’s still not up to me to tell someone to stay. The best that I can do is show them I’m worth that kind of investment. I don’t mind being alone I suppose but I dont view my lifestyle as single. I’m just trying to live. Self love is important. How else will you recognize love if you haven’t done the work for yourself?
Cringe
To me, relationships just aren't worth the stress and the possibility of abusive behavior. The juice just isn't worth the squeeze in my eyes.
We all do very much need each other still. Theres just many layers of abstraction now that alienate people from each other.
I don’t care it’s better to be alone than have another stupid human in my life. It’s fine to have someone here and there but whole life
I think you're going to regret that when you're 40 above yrs old. In my experience talking to single women who are already way past 40 this is one of the things they regret. All this crap about being independent women is going to lead to a lot of regrets for them in the future.
@@Lucas-wj8klI suspect it'll hit Western women like a truck when it happens. It's so sad because I see a lot of young girls falling in that path thinking that'll fulfill them, but it won't. I once had a lady neighbor who was living alone in her 60s and I had never seen such a bitter and tragic person. That youthful phase of her life where she could "run free", take psychedelics and get ran through by hippies just faded and all that was left was a lonely and childless old woman.
@@Lucas-wj8klMy experience has been the opposite talking to women who are 40 and over that are single. They seem to be living their best life stress free nd are usually the happiest and healthiest.
@@saharamaradiaga8217 or they are just masking what they really feel.
@@Lucas-wj8kl No not at all! Infact it’s the opposite. I see women with someone who are masking their sadness, but women alone who are genuinely happy and in peace.
You do need each other for survival, it’s just your creations make you think you don’t
now people are only gonna be with you by choice
I feel like this is part of it. I think the other part is that both parties are not agreeing on what they each should be contributing or how they both should be behaving. Kind of hard to have a bunch of happy relationships when they can’t all settle on and abide by the same agreement and - as you said - they no longer have to band together to survive. People are seeing that if others don’t want to act how they want, they can opt out of their relationships and/or just do their own thing.
I would be willing to challenge this mindset. I usually agree with and point people to you. But this is fundamentally flawed in assuming that we don't need each other to survive in this day and age.
I would offer the counterpoint that we, as a society in North America, believe that we don't need each other to survive. This is through narratives we are fed by politicial groups, news(social media fits here as well), and people we know.
Unfortunately, most people need each other to make ends meat. Roommates, friends that can and will share what little they have, and both romantic and family based relationships are needed to survive with things like cost of living today.
I'm not even going to bring in the consumer society issues, which preys upon the weak willed or unknowing spendthrift trends.
But that's assuming you aren't meeting your own financial needs. Even back when if you met your own financial needs you NEEDED another person.
The needs he's talking about are not all the needs youre talking about
I wouldn't say he's making this statement based on his beliefs, it seems he's only stating beliefs he has heard from other people and presenting it, which this short form edit doesnt seem to get across. Basically there's no disagreement with what you're saying and what Dr K is saying here, he's not representing his own beliefs when he says "people don't need each other"
This is society, not a personal belief system. All other needs can be met without another human being today, that is objectively true. Connection and understanding are not “necessary” to our success as a species in today’s world, but it does help in general.
@@ts1331tsI would substitute "success" with "survival". We can be alive and not well.
You should listen the clip entirely again cause you missed the ending. The brain is the only organ in the body that needs other humans to survive. That is your whole point, and he is saying the same you are saying with other words
Better to be single than loosing your property with divorce and then having to pay monthly alimony and all other stuff like that.
We need each other but we dont need to interact.
We need each other all the time.
Why does Dr. K have the best fucking hair ever? Come on, dude. That shit is like a Pantene ad. Half the time I have to rewatch the video because I missed everything he said the first time, I was so focused on that luxurious hair. XD
THIS!!
on god that hair at the back suits him
dont forget about dem sideburns
We do need each other though, it's just abstracted through so many layers of the services we rely on to survive versus the individuals keeping those services running. The relationship itself is becoming outdated, not the necessity for survival
This is partially true. We still need each other, but the modern economy alienates us from the need to form relationships.
If I need a ride, I no longer call the local cab company and talk to Jim, the fleet manager.
I Uber it. A stranger picks me up, doesn’t speak to me during the ride, and drops me off at my destination.
Drk is just glowing day by day
God bless
True but what that necessity brought was often abuse and strict hierarchies. This structure of necessity facilitated abuse.
What we need to do is increase the density and duration of the same less coercive interactions we currently have which will probably involve altering the current consumerist and individualist culture we have through community and local action.
We still need each other to survive, but we live inside the illusion that we don't. We have to actually stop for a bit and think about how we need a whole structure of people working so we can have our needs met. Electricians, plumbers, truck drivers, farmers, delivery men, etc.
We are more distant to the people doing the work and mostly only see the end results.
I've put the work to think about that and it led me to treat other people as humanly as I possibly can, and not like a thoughtless robot that is only there to serve me
This is just a short, so I don't know if he mentions this. But I feel like another big factor, is people not wanting to deal with other people in general due to them being stupid, annoying, or just not feeling comfortable around people at all. Which is probably another issue, but does also play a part in what he mentioned.
Then there's all the other factors, the crap people see online with the gym "creeps", the onlyfan stuff, pickup artists, etcetera. All of that probably doesn't help either.
@@Dimitris_Half nah just everyone, including me and you
you will always find someone who will dislike you - no matter what personality you have
As for the last part of your comment, where did we lose the plot here? When did "don't believe everything you see on the internet" become "Of course you should believe everything you see on the internet!" When did we as a society start to think that social media at ALL reflects what actually happens in the real world?
@@gamemeister2905I find it hilarious that a girls boyfriend asks her to make a TikTok video being rude to him in the gym, so they can make lots of money from guys being outraged on the internet, and that this literally has guys scared to walk past girls at the gym.
Almost everything on social media from Andrew Tate to even this channel to the Instagram girlies, is just people finding a way to profit from capitalism and doesn't reflect the real world at all.
@@gamemeister2905 Because it does? At least in the developed world. Have you been outside lately? Don't you see that everyone in the streets, jobs, schools and so on is staring at their phones 24/7?
To add onto that I feel like what is happening too is that even when people do need each other, there’s such a toxic hyperfocus on individualism that toxic behaviors get justified when someone does need to depend on somebody else
"The human mind is the only organ of the body that in order for it to be healthy, it requires another human"
Fuck..
Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty. People no longer have need of others. You can always find a spare for any talent. Any relationship can be replaced. I had gotten bored of a world like that.
This is a very reductive mental approach to a heart based problem, We need connection. We need to be touched. We need intimacy and we need to love someone and express that love to another. We need to receive that love. We need to be hugged. We need to be listened to… someone to laugh with and cry with. There is NO replacement for human to human interaction from heart to heart. When a human doesn’t have these their identity begins to dissolve. We need relationships so that we can define ourselves against them.
He literally addresses in the last bit
@@squiddwizzard8850 the premise “why are relationships decaying” is flawed premise. Who says they are decaying? What evidence are they basing this off? Granted this is a sound bite of a larger conversation yet the majority of this content is given to this flawed presupposition.
We all still need others, we just don't realize how much we depend on each other these days.
Another way to word that is “people only stuck together because they HAD to, now that we have the choice to leave if we want, everyone picks that choice”
I’ve seen WAY too many older men who are MISERABLE and say things like “happy wife, happy life” with the HUGEST *sigh* afterwards.
I ain’t gonna end up like that
Pred•i•cate verb
To found or base something on
eg. “the theory of structure on which chemistry was later predicated”
Help us Dr K your our only hope… -R2D2
Fr.
We don’t need each other if you wanna be sad and depressed
You need to socialize regularly
Relationships are not only not necessary but also more often than not they are detrimental.
This might be part of the reason, but how does this explain young people’s relationships decaying? As a kid I was always spending time with friends, every second I could get. That’s just a social drive. And I didn’t need those people, I just enjoyed being around them.
This might explain adults, but not kids. I think the answer is deeper than this, for sure.
His point scratches the surface but does still apply to children. We make friends online, we learn everything on the internet. The fragile social structures that exist with humans are no longer necessary for survival, so we don't engage with it at any level
You might want to look at other countries for an answer. Relationships are a natural part of life, we make them without attempting to or wanting to, they just occur. However as an adult, if an adult wasn't properly taught how to overcome hardship or how to maintain and nurture relationships and who are taught values of obsolesce in a society where money becomes to core of life by which anything and everything gets judged by, you end up corroding your own life.
When you are speaking about young people, what age group are you referring to? Children or teenagers? Teenagers always had decaying relationships, it's part of figuring out what's important to one. Americans seem to not grow out of their teenager phase though. Children? Well, they are depended on their parents and not to mention severely infantilized nowadays. They need to be driven because the US has no roads or public transport, and the fearmongering of media is creating a paranoia of distrust towards strangers and fellow citizens. How is a child suppose to maintain relationships if it can't even get to meet others to initiate those relationships?
Anyway, these are my two cents. I don't live in the US and have only been there for a couple years so take my take for what it's worth.
It's the internet and video games and stuff for sure. People who make money on the internet aren't going to tell you to get off the internet. But spending your time watching stuff like this instead of just hanging out with people in the village is the biggest root of the problem. People have got idle and lazy, especially men, whom being idle is far more dangerous for than it is for women.
I would say that today we are more reliant on each other than ever before.
Back in prehistoric times, if you wanted food, you could go forage or hunt, usually in a small group, but it was possoble to go by yourself. We definitely did massively depend on one another, aside from social activity, there was the need to produce basic weapons, clothing, shelter, and so on. It was just more socially involved so it was just more visible.
With the example Dr K gave of food delivery, think of how many people were involved in the production process of that? First you had the scientists and farmers who either genetically engineered or selectively bred the food you eat, and think of all the tools and tech that had to be produced even before that to make it work, then there are the farmers that actually grew it, and a the tools they used for that, them there is the transportation of food to either a retailer or a chain, then the job of actually preparing and packaging that food and all the tools and tech someone else made prior that these workers now used to make this food, and finally, transportation and delivery to you. It's a more social process than at any other point in history.
The main thing that is wrong is not that it is so interconnected or complex, but the fact that this economic system is so alienating, so out of sight, so.... out of our agency, and this has so many knock on effects on our entire lives that we can hardly even comprehend.
I want him to watch evangelion
I dont need anyone for survival, I have lived alone many times and not interacted with a single person. Even now as I speak no one has called or texted me for over three months. No friend, no family, never married no kids.
How does any of this lead to relationships becoming worse? If the only thing that we need each other for is mental health, then wouldn't that make relationships better? because they are now all focused on one purpose instead of needing to fulfill multiple purposes, some of which may be at odds with each other?
Excactly. Acctually needing people leads to people selfishly using each other.
Now we need to come together from an unselfish aproach. We need to enjoy eachother as human beings and not as objects to be used.
Because the need for mental health support isn't enough to keep a couple together in times of severe stress, particularly when they're at odds.
Simply put, there is less to keep them together when things get rough.
@@HigureHokoushaDo you really want to be stuck with someone whom you are at odds with because you need them for money and/or for reproduction?
I think it's related to how self-esteem is connected to being needed. If you are only able to help with moral support, you would feel less useful. We don't need just to be validated by someone... we need to be needed which let's us believe ourselves as valuable. Would you believe someone that told you how good you are if you never showed them any good qualities?
Homie, the brain is a mess that's easily influence because it can only sustain it's focus on 3 things max and everything else is automated. If you are focused on material gain, be it money or career or progress then a fundemental aspect of how you see other people will be affected.
There is a reason you need to teach kids how to get along, the brain isn't born understanding these things intuitively (The fact that our brain is underdeveloped for 20years of our lives is what makes us different from any other animal, just so you know).
we still need each other, just not in the way we used to need each other. That's not scary or concerning, its an opportunity to restructure who we think we are.
It's better now because you didn't need to stay with the meanie. You can find and choose kind people.
Missing the point... but it's to be expected. Those who aren't living in crippling loneliness can only relate to the part that affects them. It's social anxiety for most, or the other sleu of social disorders which hinder proper interaction and friendship
@@therealdoc You can say that you can't relate to women though. Of course being able to choose our partners is better than needing to marry some old drunk who never bothered to give them an orgasm.
What a lot of guys are missing is it's better for men too. There's a big difference between someone being with you because they choose to be and because they have to be. Relationships are a lot better today. It's just that your chance of getting one is lower as you can't just buy it.
@@MySimDied not so fast. one of the reasons that relationships got harder is because of choosiness. Not of every man, choosiness on the average man. Top man get more woman than they want. If the man has no looks, status and money to a high level, he has almost no chance. Plus , he will be judged as incapable by many.
woman get to choose, and they as a group flock to the same 10% on the top that have looks, status and money in abundance. Yes, even woman already on relationships. sure, maybe some woman don't, but the majority does.
now , comes the question: is this really a "choice" of woman or are they just copying each other? the 10% top guys can cheat at you at any moment they get bored of you. Is this a good relationship, living insecure about the future of this relationship?
This is horrible for both sides. the only ones that profit are the 10% guys , being a parasite feeding on female youngness and beauty. horrible for society
@@fisicogamer1902most of the things you mentioned here genuinely seems to be redpill talking points. Your average men is with your average woman. I have yet to find the evidence of all women just going for the 10% men besides the random only dating reference yall use. Look around you in the real world. Is your dad a 10% man? Or your uncle? Or the men around you? Mostly likely not and they all managed to find someone like most men do. Once again, your average man will end up with the average woman.
@@adaezez8378 "my uncle" or "men around me" lived in another society. my grandma married with 16. Ask any woman with 16 that have access to the internet nowadays: do you want to marry now? Majority of them will say no. Technology and social revolutions created this different society where this happens. 40 years ago, woman had no access to the top 10% man. Now all they have to do is post any picture(it doesn`t have to be even provoking at all) and they can find many man and sieve the 10% from them. they can spend their entire day talking with them, if they want.
In the past, woman sometimes even had to go to arranged marriages. Do you realize that even the idea of "arranged marriage" causes horror to both sexes nowadays? Sure, there were cases of domestic violence, but, if we eliminate the bad apples from the system it worked wonders. As you can testify, many average men could marry average women in the past.
Also, I am not fond of red pill, exactly, Red pill says that you will get looks, status and money through hard work. I am more inclined towards the idea that you`ll have a cap, and that will be your genetic pool. It`s harder than ever to actually use that to get a partner that doesn`t plan to cheat on you ASAP. You could say that I am more black pilled than red pilled.
It’s an interesting point. I do think we DO need each other for survival but what we need is different and not everyone can keep up with that
Yes, and psychologists have done and said nothing meaningful on this in any capacity that would affect schools, laws, or public policy. Just keep taking those dollars like vampires.
The psychologists are usually doing research that gets published, and they reported on or testified in front of law makers to get public policy changed. Now that requires the law makers to actually do something, which is where the disconnect usually is, but the psychology today magazine I read makes it seem like they are doing neat stuff. An example is a psych professor at my college who went in front of our state legislator to advocate for services animals to be able to work in court to calm down witnesses on the stand. He was able to take his data sets to show them a service animal can make it easier for a witness to remain calm in the high stress environment of the court room and recall events more accurately when compared to no service animal present. I'm not sure if they went on to allow the service animals in this state, but that research is being looked at in other states to see about getting something out of it. Change takes a lot of time, but it's not as hopeless as the news would make it seem.
@@wrongname2702 service animals in court isn't exactly what I would call "meeting the challenges of today". If the numbers are right, there's a population collapse cued up for psychological reasons, and they are nowhere to be seen that's coherent on the issue. Institutions like the APA happily insert themselves into LGBTQ issues, but I've yet to see any real guidance or big statements on the fragmenting of basic underpinnings of human society, such as the topic of this video or many others.
@jpl7909 I was challenging the belief that psychologists are doing nothing. The APA is making lobbying efforts with their membership money, but I don't know how well that's documented or what exactly they are trying to accomplish with those efforts as the website looks vague. I love that you mentioned LGBTQ+ issues as a lot of organizations tend to miss the mark on those. Being a member of that group, I understand it feels hopeless and that the systems in place are failing us. Systemically, the US is failing to meet the needs of it's people but I'm not sure why psychologists are being demonized in this context. Did you have a bad experience with one? Most of my therapists have been masters level lcsw or addiction/trauma specialists, so I can't speak to the level of care a psychologist would give in a clinical setting. Rural America has very few licensed psychologists to actually go see in real life, so we get the masters level therapists instead.
I love asking a question that implies the answer I want.
And that’s when people start coming up with bs reasons to waste your time and get half of your stuff taken away in a marriage. Soulmates are as real as paper airplanes
Paper airplanes are real, soul mating is a dangerous lie. Two people can have a high tolerance for each other's flaws (even like them) and be highly attracted to each other's qualities, and that's it, high compatibility and that's the best is gonna happen.
Passion is a cute name for horniness and it doesn't last long. Love is built, minute after minute spent together love is built. Even at distance caring and sharing is company. Love is an ingredient in friendship even in deep trust.
The biggest problem of the younger generations is that they don't face their fears anymore, this also leads to creating more fear. In order to overcome fear, we have to face is. I'm a INFP zillenial and doing what I was scared of helped me gain confidence and did boost my mental health
An AI girlfriend is not a substitute
Why not?
@@adaezez8378 They can malfunction
@@blackninja546 so can the biological ones.
in fact i'd say they're even more prone to it.
We still need people we have just created a world where it's possible to feel like you don't without any real consequences
wrong. it's the constant lies of "you need someone else to be happy" and "lonely people die early" that makes lonely people unhappy.
it makes me extremely happy to not have to interact with others and not having to take care of other people's emotions.
The irony here is that you're posting this on a public video on some level hoping another human being sees this.
Besides what the other person has written here. How many of your activities require other people? The games you play, books you read (probably none), movies you watch, internet you consume, comments you read, and so on.
Besides any of that, you don't need someone else to be happy, you need someone else to function. These are two fundamentally different things.
I would also wager that you are insanely unhappy (whatever that means to you, idc), given that this is what you wrote in your profile description "Good job RUclips for censoring everything. From videos to comments. You are doing a better job than China. Have a cookie." As if youtube censoring something is of any value or importance to anything. Why would you even notice just a thing enough to get bothered by it if you were "extremely happy" or is it more so that your notion of happiness relies on the experience of sadness? If you were happy (again, whatever that means to you idc), then you wouldn't have needed to compare it to something you are not happy with".
Anyway, your life and your choices but I'd wonder what a closet child even knows about China beyond the propaganda it had been fed, nor why it even cares about censorship given that he feels so happy not having to interact with others. At some point mate, you're just trying to be convincing yourself, but you do you.
I think what people don't seem to get is that social interaction does not have to happen IN PERSON. If you can talk to somebody regularly via phone or discord or skype or whatever, it is just fine. That includes gaming activities.
@@dydx_ Imagine defending china in 2024. Go there and try to be a liberal, see how it ends
Exactly. It’s the social people that try to make you feel bad when I’m happy by myself most of the time.
This doesnt have to be depressing but eye opening as to why we need to evolve culture and society to stay healthy.
Stuck in a dead end town surrounded by people I don't feel any connection to, in a job that rots my brain something has to change for sure but by Christ is it difficult when every waking hour drains you life's energy
@@MsUndertaker99 the one thing I've realized mate is that you have to be around the RIGHT people in order to have a healthy brain. I can speak from many years of experience that the wrong relationships are poisonous to your mental health
@@mattiusbattol and we have 8 billion people, most of which are living under a rigged system and people still dont get that
Sorry to hear that pal.
There is some truth in that people need eachother less (in a physical sense).
A lot of people have become broken by decadence.
I truly believe that people need each other now more than ever.
People need to re-learn the value of conection beyond the material and shallow world that is presented to them.
Also how to connect more deeply on a physical level with their spouse/life partner.
Everyone is still trying to keep up with the Joneses, when the Joneses are more often than not an illusion.
Life is hard, pick the right partner in life and value them. Surround your self with the right people (good relationships should be mutually beneficial).
Well historically speaking relationships as he seems to define them (sexual/romantic) generally were a thing a man decided happened and as a woman you had very little say,like for example in the 17 and 18 hundreds,your dad marries you off to secure something from another family ,or in the 1900s you as a woman couldnt have a bank account that wasnt tied to a man,this gave the illusion that we were all happy and loving and while yes some people truely found love amid these or other circumstances,today the market here in america atleast is much more free and as a result people no longer have to settle or stay in unhappy relationships.
that is correct. people are taking normal and healthy relationships for granted
So many of todays guys that are unhappy about dating glorify older relationships, but don't realise that a lot of those men were really really miserable.
You can make a woman marry you and you can make a woman sleep with you and you make a woman dependent on you. You can even persuade her that she loves you and making it work is the normal thing to do.
But you can't make her desire you and if you look at older literature even in the mid 1900's, it paints a picture of women who hated and avoided intimacy, men who worked every hour for a woman who didn't really love them and kids they barely got to spend time with. Tons of men felt unwanted and unappreciated and they were paranoid about her wanting the neighbor more than him, because she usually did. Then you had the alcohol and the physical abuse which was pretty much societally accepted.
These relationships were not good for either party. We had whole generations of stockholm syndrome marriages. They made it work and they might even believed they were happy. But women are human beings and should never have been treat like property.
I would argue you still need other people to do all the things he mentioned. I work from home, and yet couldn’t do this if not for people willing to receive services online. We have a greater illusion of doing all said tasks “alone” and there’s more physical distance. You must be intentional to have face to face interactions, and those kinds of interactions are crucial for our development as well as ongoing health mentally, emotionally and physically.
Get home schooled
Study online get a computer science degree
Work online
Hire someone for all the legal work
Order food
Game and talk to people there
Order escorts
Do sports at home
You only need to leave the house for health care
The last sentence is extremely important!
Capitalism plays a major role in relationships decaying.
Not just relationships tbh, virtually everything IMO.
@@user-Aaron- not an opinion, it’s a fact
You confuse corporatism for capitalism.
@@toocanny The word "capitalism" was introduced into the English language by socialists. It was never a good thing, no matter how much Libertarians try to re-claim it to mean "markets" or "commerce".
@@eyescreamcake Yes, capitalism was never a good thing, agreed!
Yes 💯. I have come to the conclusion most people would rather live alone (or as a single parent with children) but with the occasional interaction with a partner. But not the tightly bound family unit we traditionally have as humans. Its too stifling, it is often based on a narcissistic hierarchical structure where the one the makes the most money has the most power - despite all the rhetoric about work inside the home and caring for children being important. The truth of the matter is he who pays the piper calls the tune. So there are often inherently power imbalances especially when people lack intellectual and emotional intelligence and self awareness to try to offset them. People still need and like to have relationships but they don’t want all the social hierarchy and power imbalances that often come with them. Hence if it becomes easier for a man or woman to financially support themselves outside of a relationship, it will take a lot less conflict for (often the woman) to decide her tolerance level has been met and to walk away. Whereas when there is need involved people will stay and put up with a lot more unhappiness.
You can say that for the younger adults, but 28-30 year old men and woman. I think they definitely need each other.
Not quite 28 but I honestly don't think I'll ever be in a position where I need men. Want is a different thing, I'd like to have children and find the right guy. But unless there is a big change in society I'll never need a man in my life.
My grandmother needed a man. If she didn't have one, she wouldn't have much of a life as she wasn't allowed to earn money for herself. She also would have been shamed in society and a target for crime. So there was need/dependence there that no longer exists.
He said that. At the end he stated we need people to be mentally and emotionally healthy.
We don’t need people to to help us find food. Or help us protect the cave. Or other physical things, like making babies.
@@MySimDiedur supporting this mans point btw
@@lgs888 What's really the difference in a few years? A 28 year old doesn't need a man anymore than a 27 year old does.
I also think that we're looking for something different than just a survival relationship. like love, compatibility etc, not just "we need to survive". it's not simple caveman, we have values and we're analysing ourselves and our lives in a way where we are able to be really specific and selective with our choices
I don’t like the phrasing in this one, dr k makes it seem like social movements like feminism who fight for the emancipation of woman are to blame cause “they now can have and independent life” and implied that men only view woman as objects with “you now can have a flesh light” when in reality is the objectification of human relationships of capitalism that made us so distant to each other, I know it’s a bias opinion but I can’t help to feel disgusted to this one
We long have equally, actually men are at a disadvantage right now. Still feminists become more and more outrageous.
@@cherubin7thNo, we don't. In one study, women talked for 30% of the time and men thought it was actually 50%. When women talked 50% of the time, men thought they were talking far more then men. Your perception about what "equality" means is skewed, as when a group has held privileges for so long, equality feels like oppression to you. That's unfortunate, but the ones who show outrageous contempt of the other sex have been - and still are - men.
@@cherubin7ththis is factually incorrect
It's even happened in video games. EverQuest 1 made it very difficult to solo for most classes. It forced players to work together. Now even healers can solo in most mmo games.