To add to what Chloe saying, statistically men who are not financially secured are more likely to be abuser's. Most men who are wealthy or has money will not risk losing their wealth by going to jail. I am not saying wealthy men do not abuse their wives but when a man is lacking in finances he tends to take his frustration out on his woman.
Well idk if it is just looks...or just money...oh okay maybe for just dating...! For marriage men desire a woman who looks good, is desirable, shifts the atmosphere, respects and 'wants' him. For women, we desire security, exclusivity, love, protection, etc. although many settle for validation and the illusion of security.
Fineapple Felicity exactly, if he’s sadistic , money will enhance that. If he’s a saint, money will enhance that. Money cannot sugarcoat the motives of the heart.
While there is something to be said for the hypergamous life, the fact it that to live an entirely hypergamous traditional life means that women as individuals take a financial hit. Over a lifetime, a woman can lose out on hundreds of thousands of income earned if she is purely dependent on a man. The smart thing for a truly hypergamous woman to have the motto of Megan Thee Stallion "Yes I have my own bag, but I am in his too"
I have a new boyfriend who is russian he is loving, very protective of me and would never let me pay for a single thing let alone bills😂😂 we plan on getting married and i have the choice to work or not. Wish me luck guys😊💜
@D Goshay if he's illegal, he may be using her for a green card. Don't mean to be negative. I just would hate for her to be hurt. Remember, a guy needs to come into your life to love you, nothing else.
Yup...in my dating app profile I put: "I like an independent man that doesn't need a woman for anything" it's about time we start flipping it around on these men!!!
Enaah the Virgo and in 2 short sentences, you have effectively summed up everything that Chloe’s channel is about, and the real reason why this practice is important-because you have described what is the natural order of things-which is, the man takes care of the things in the natural world, while the women, creative and intuitive, takes care of his(and her own) spirit. This was very well said.
I think it stems from the bitterness, basically women are saying to each other, “My dreams didn’t come true, and neither will yours”. Hurt ppl hurt ppl. Now that everyone is damaged goods, all that’s left is the anger and the bitterness and the rose petals on the floor 🥀
And people kill me saying: “He May have it all but he may not be a good person” 🤔 oh? And brokies are saints? I think we all have enough sense to not be bothered with a man who is mistreating us...... smh
Tn Girl54 Agreed 100%. A dusty will do you extra dirty because you are the breadwinner. It takes away from his masculinity and he we will resent you for it . This is where the abuse and cheating comes to play . An alpha gets a high taking care of his feminine woman and wouldn’t have it any other way .
I was just thinking about this today. Whenever people see a woman especially a black woman being spoiled by a man. Everyone gets mad, especially black women funny enough. Notice how most people who push the "have your own" are pick me's and men who don't have THEIR own aka dusties.
Almost everyone is invested in keeping black women at the bottom of the totem pole. When it comes to bw shaming other bw, it's because they resent other bw, who know their worth and are just jealous. Sometimes they're confused/brainwashed into thinking that we're being destructive or something. Very sad and weird.
FACTS! A dusty told me a woman MUST work. I get that it could be a preference or ideal but he said she MUST work. The minute he said that I was turned off and he had the nerve to say it while riding in the passenger side of my luxury car, chile bye! I only dropped him off because he filled my tank. He did not have a car but his BM did!
I was shamed by my sister in law for not having a job, and that I am wasting my degree, she did it in front of my husband, I understood that she was envious that my husband was taking care of me, but shaming me despite my illness shows just how problematic weaponizing us to be mules is, it didn’t matter to her that I have several auto immune illnesses including lupus. So ladies except being provided for don’t allow yourselves to be bullied or shamed.
Shaming no longer works on me. I pity the fool who chooses to struggle their way into an early grave. I’m in my bag and best believe in his bag too. 💅🏾 It took months of mental rewiring to feel comfortable receiving. To not feel like a “gold digger” but a woman who is blessed and deserving. That independent narrative will keep you on a carousel with dusties forever. Keep your social media private and masculine women on mute.
Literally learned this with YOUR comment just now. I was talking to a man for a few weeks online good chats and mentioned that my time cost money. He gave me a very low offer to which I decline until I had the amount I wanted. Since then cut him off for other reasons and felt so guilty keeping the money. I realized that I am a beautiful woman with great banter and deserved that money. I will be making a lovely purchase now that this guilt is gone. Thank you for this comment you have no idea how much it helped me!!
I think that women are shamed and bullied for being hypergamous because deep down inside every woman, our natural instincts to be protected and provided. The admiration that women have for hypergamous women unfortunately manifest itself in the form of envy and pettiness. Right now I am living in a house which I share with a jealous roommate who envies the amount of luxury and skills that I have, it is just female nature to want what another woman has.
Hey that's what they teach you unless you're lucky or look for another explanation, it's not her "fault" probably if she heard Chloe's videos she would change her mind
I think women should have the ability to have their own. Just in case. I have my own and I get to keep my own while my husband takes care of our family.
94 jobs & 32 side hustles🤣😂🤦🏽. Yup even in numerous rap/R&B songs over the years promote this "she got her own/independent" ,"don't need a man for nothing" tired rhetoric🙄
Fuck NE-Yo who impregnated and ultimately wifed a porno star who is now divorcing him and about to get half his Empire the sad part is i think monyetta would still take him back and BUILD back what he lost.😂
yes thank you so much for saying how men are never shamed for not providing but women are shamed for not working!! Perfect analogy and I will start to use it when people attack hypergamous women
That’s losers not real men, but the problem is a lot of women don’t want to look inward. I’m nearly 27 I’m considered responsible and a protector by my family and peers if I want a girlfriend let alone a wife I’m literally told To play stepdad and the whole package deal situation kids,ex husband/boyfriend and all the cost that I didn’t create. There’s plenty of losers out there butthat’s only a fraction of men if a woman is going to bring that situation to the table she has to question her value before she can question anyone else’s value.
Thank you for doing this video. I don't know why ppl believe that successful men are abusive. None of the successful men I've dated ever abused me but i dated a dusty guy who hit me and broke my nose. Ladies stay away from guys who have nothing to loose.
So true! They have nothing to lose and are angry that they cannot measure up to what they know you deserve. Also, they know you can get pampering and adoration elsewhere, so they try to ruin your beliefs of that by messing you up physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Truly sick and sad individuals.
Chloe women are shamed for wanting to be provided for because a lot of men were not raised to be head of the house hold or to be a provider. Men want to be considered the head when their manhood is tested. Then they hide behind a women's skirt when it comes time to be that leader. I still believe a man's role is head of the house hold. When a women gets married she takes his last name. In tradition the father gives his daughter away. Why? Because he is giving his daughter away to a man he trusts will TAKE CARE OF his daughter the way that he did. He is picking up where the father left off! Daddy don't expect for his daughter to be a head of any man's household so these men have cleverly turned the table because they know they are lacking in a lot of areas. Chloe, thank you for your channel it has opened so many doors to freedom and break through. I hope much success to you present and future! 🎊🎉💰🍷
FATHERS teach those lessons about head of household duties to young boys as they grow into competent, mature, and responsible men. Over 70% of Black babies are born out of wedlock, so it's easy to see how many young men grow up missing those lessons. Just who is supposed to marry all these single mothers? The issue that often gets omitted in discussion is the fact there are THREE TIMES MORE single mothers than unmarried Black men who are baby daddies. Men without kids can BARELY find a woman who DOES NOT already have some deadbeat's kid(s). There are MORE Black men above the age 30 who DON’T have kids than women in that same age range who ALREADY have kids with other men. It’s unfair to expect men WITHOUT kids to pick up other men’s responsibilities. No one is forcing women into single motherhood - women are making the choice to be single mothers by ALLOWING losers and deadbeats to blast inside them WITHOUT protection and WITHOUT marriage, and that's on them. Losers and deadbeats NEVER take accountability for their actions, therefore it's on women to make smart choices. Bums and deadbeats should NEVER have a chance at top-tier or the best women, and yet here we are...
@maddy H Some Black men don't want to be the head of house, because they don't have to accept the responsibility. Those deadbeats and losers who approach you don’t need to do any real work, because they’re ALREADY getting what they want from women…which is sex without commitment or requirements. It’s the reason they behave that way. It didn’t work with you, but it works with other women…which is why they have no incentive to step up as men. The flip side is that not ALL women are worthy of marriage. I have conversations with both men and women on these issues…the truth is there is lots of slacking on both sides.
Just yesterday a black,male coworker asked me what do I have to bring to the table 🙄🤦🏽 when we touched the topic of dating & how's it out here nowadays. Go figure....
I don’t even answer the question. Men don’t ask that question for your answer. It’s a trick. They ask it for the specific purpose of creating a door into getting into your head and shaming you away from something that is for your benefit. A man who wants to provide will never ask that question.
Whether a women has degrees, her own business is immaterial, a man should be spending his time developing his character, finances and education so he can one be an asset to wife and children.
I agree with everything Chloe has to say but what I will say ladies IF you choose the hypergamous lifestyle. You gotta come ready to SLAY. I met a man who was prepared to take care of both my child and I but he wanted me to basically look the part of a kept woman. Long story short don't just get out here and don't be on fleek. Lose the weight, keep your nails on point and hair neat and polished, perfect your wardrobe. Learn to distinguish high value men from a man looking to manipulate and control you in exchange for money. Stay ready so you dont have to get ready ya.
Blue Eyes IMO it’s because a woman with fresh manicured nails, especially if they are long, is literally resting in her femininity... she literally cannot lift a finger... it’s dainty and delicate and shows that at the core the woman is here to be beautiful not here for the hard work
Black women just need to wake up to the fact they have the least to lose and the most to gain! What do you have to lose by doing something different if you keep complaining about the same things over and over.
Morgan Knowing how isn’t the problem. Every expert starts as an amateur. Our problem is we believe there is knowing for us outside of all we’ve every seen and known. We’re scared of what we don’t know or know how to handle. Most victims of abuse convince themselves its better to stay with the what they know because at least they know how to cope with it.
Morgan I’m saying people who are use to abuse become very afraid of what they don’t know because their scared of what they don’t know being worse. Humans naturally fear what they don’t know. Imagine that same natural fear but stuck in a unhealthy scenario.
Whew always dropping gems!!! 💎💎society focuses more on breaking women down for being hypergamous but spends less time telling men to be providers ..it’s sad and backwards
Ladies should be supported by her man if she has goals. Ladies don't let a man convince you that you don't have your own goals and dreams. Don't be the Secretary to his. Pay attention to a man's character and integrity with you from the start keep a journal of his behavior.
Can’t forget.. Cam took care of Juju for 9 years, put her through school, helped her get $, fame then when he dropped her then she wants to preach that narrative which is deceiving
@@tessa726 It's too much of a coincidence. We have so many black women celebrities, who practice some form of hypogamy. And when a Ciara pops up (someone who leveled up and practiced hypergamy), everyone's attacking her for choosing better. When she was dating Future (who's a bachelor for life), not a lot of people made a big fuss about it. Makes you go hmm, doesn't it?
@@Cherryblos9 Well...Ciara had no business dating Future and all those other deadbeats in the first place. She's lucky Russell Wilson overlooked and forgave her past stupidity and bad life-decisions. Most women will not be that lucky to "level up" after giving their better years to lesser men.
Firstly, black women should STOP confusing sex for love, stop competing with other women that your boyfriend " might" like, and stop twerking in public!!
Look no disrespect but all women should have their own money to the SIDE. He does not need to know. You should always always put money to the side not just because he might leave but anything can happen to him. Do provide but hide that money sis.
@@keishaspatts9559 ok the last time I depended on a man and didnt have anything for myself. He ended up being a monster I had to leave my house in the middle of the night to go live with my mother and two kids because he Took care of the family for 5 years I had to start all over by my damn self. Never again. You should always have your own but still have respect for whoever you choose to be with.
A week ago, I'm on the train going to work during this pandemic. I see this man often enough to know he is crazy. He asked me a question and I did not answer. He preceded to call me out my name and dogging black women. He said out loud, black women always want a black man to take care of them. I'm like what's wrong with that?❤️
@@GeminiZ_13 He started going off saying white women are better and they know how to treat a black man. Men like him, want to fight women but not a man. This is not my first encounter with him. In the last 8 years, I see him become overly angry because he thought this woman was laughing at him and she kept laughing. He has called me out of my name before. They are all crazy.
EXACTLY you never here other races talk about independent they are or talking about getting there own bag. You hear about them meeting and marrying successful men. We as black women are taught not to rely on men where other races of women are taught how to be feminine and get a proper provider of a man.
Things have changed. In South Asian cultures, women are expected to do everything and be everything now. We’re supposed to be full-time stay at home mothers and simultaneously be educated, have top positions in our careers, and work incredibly hard in all aspects of our lives. I’ve noticed men taking advantage of these newer expectations that us women are supposed to follow.
@Eva Green Lover No we are not all in this together. This is a channel to address Black womens issues. I understand your comment. But since when have Black women been 'in it together' with any other race of women? Please. These are the kind of comments other races insidiously use to steal our ideas, participate in our spaces when it is not reciprocated in theirs. Point taken. You like the channel. But please. "We" are NOT in this hypergamous game together. Us Black women are far behind. And we are trying to catch up and mend our fractured relationships.
THE ONLY time ill ever show a man i have MONEYYYYYYY!!!!!!! is when am packing my bags to leave his house as i dragg my suitcases out to get my cab,then finally he will know am INDEPENDENT
I don’t think black women who actually KNOW you should have your own are mechanized as masculine figures. I think we never hear “I GOT YOU” or “THATS MY JOB” enough. Over the course of time we have been engineered to HANDLE IT because most (I said MOST) of us have kids and we have no other choice to get it, if not for us, for our kids. Any woman who knows who she is and knows what she brings to the table can automatically feel the vibe of a man who ain’t about nothing. When we are in tune with ourselves, know who we can and cannot lean on. Too many times I see ladies who ALLOW their boyfriend to “benefit” from what a woman is already providing for her children when this isn’t right. A man should benefit when he is your HUSBAND!!! Stop giving husband privileges to boyfriends!!! All 2020 we saying “I’m not doing that” end of story.
BornToBeMe SUS....Sus, I felt all that. It’s stressful to get your closest to see what we see. Especially when we care. And true, our love may come off as abrasive because we’re not IN IT....but it’s needed!!! Hopefully she will appreciate you. I will say this. Everybody gets that ONE RELATIONSHIP Sus where they are dumber than a box of rocks...cause we’ve all been there(in our 30s🙋🏾♀️)....but when you get free from that relationship you should have learned your lesson. Stick with her Sus. But she shouldn’t make this same mistake again. That’s called a pattern. Sounding boards can only go so far LOL. It’s a lot of energy!!!
I feel like a lot women definitely like to shame other women they see get provided for because they are jealous and envy of those type of women they never had a man that provided for them they never saw their mother's get provided for and also a lot of the women in their families and I also have witnessed it by seeing other women being very jealous of my mother that is married to my dad for 30 years and is a great provider
Black women are shamed and bullied about setting a standard of being provided for because of Jealousy! A deep sense of regret/shame that I, and other young women family members are setting and living out the standards the older ones want. It's never to late to make that change. "You don't have to stay down because you fell." Just get up ! I love your channel and content Chloe_ .
We are shamed into having our own because unlike the white community or other cultures we havent been provided the environment to dwell in our feminine only to focus heavily on having 6 degrees and 34 side hustles.
@Eva Green Lover Be quiet you bitter single women who men won't provide for. You don't even live in the USA and you don't understand what she means, you're just itching to attack out of frustration and disappointment so back to your man hunt, looking 4eva eva. Get back to me when Romanian, Polish or Bulgarian men want to spend money on you.
Black women especially will get jealous or envy of another black woman that has a provider but when they see another race of women with providers the reaction is different as if they are suppose to have a provider and nothing less while on the other hand looking at another black women and saying to themselves who the hell she think she is
Its also with white girls. I have friends with more cash than husband and not married and I can see that they’re unhappy. And when I speak to them the are in defense. I’m so happy to be on this journey dust free :)
I never committed on these type of channels before but I have to say from personal experience thank you so much for posting this video. What she is saying is real. I offered to be a stay at home mom because we just do not have anyone who could watch our child nor could we afford daycare. As soon as we told some people like fam and some friends about me saying home alot of people kinda got mad and said " no she needs to work" we even explained how we could bring in more money in our house hold and how it could benefit us overall right now. but nope all they saw was a lazy black woman sitting on her ass watching tv instead of a mother making a temporary sacrifice for her family and a father wanting to step up to be a full provider. Yep the black community is really messed up in the head with this mentality and I believe it done more harm than good. I'm just so shocked at how black people don't want to see a black man over work themselves but okay with a black woman working herself to death smh. I might be the only one that feels this way but hey who knows.
charell tunson one thing I appreciated and still appreciate is the lack of bad influences my husband and I allow in our decisions for our family. I will never forget my in-laws calling and begging to keep our children for a weekend. My husband was adamant about these are OUR children and OUR responsibility. We can sacrifice a few date nights to be hands on with our children. So my point is do as you and your husband see fit to make things work under your roof🙌🏾 Best of luck to you and your family
Well if a dusty ,50/50,stringy snake, mama boy, narcissistic nathanel etc. approach you bells and sirens should go off -bad relationships bout to happen
Women are shamed by other women who don't think they are worth or deserving of being provided for. They may also be fearful that this provision won't happen, so it's easier to hold on to the belief that you have to build and provide for yourself. There is also probably an element of bitterness coming into play for women who "go after" feminine women. This was a great video, like all of yours. I enjoy this channel:)
Being provided for is the ultimate success of a hypergamous woman, I’m happy to have dodged a bullet from a dusty and very content with my boyfriend providing everything that I need❤️
I'm becoming less ashamed of voicing my want and need to find a man that naturally provides thanks to your channel! I used to think it made me a golddigga.
I was thinking of JUJU right before you mentioned her. Camron resented her financial gain, creativity, and reality TV exposure. He said she wasn’t fun anymore and stopped inviting her out to his events/projects. I think he was use to being the star and breadwinner in the relationship. Very much jealous tease. Meanwhile, she was talking about taking care of him financially, while he sits back. The role reversal never works. Unless he’s a beta male w/ minimal ambition.
I think some women shame other women for being provided for because they haven't found a man who will do the same. Many of these women who shame others also have been programmed from their nuclear family to not depend on a man (i.e., momma got hurt by daddy and she taught her daughter how depending on daddy was/is pointless). What I have learned from Black men I use to date, is that some men fear they may lose their job and not have a back up plan to provide.
I believe as a woman we should have a back up and savings, in case he dies gets sick or acts stupid. But at the end of the day the man should be pursuing and providing. End of story.
Providing is the main thing that men bring to the table long term. As relationships age, men tend to become: -Less romantic (so the relationship becomes less emotionally fulfilling in many ways) -Physically weaker (so his ability to physically protect will wane) -At increased risk of erectile dysfunction/erectile issues (so sexual satisfaction becomes hit-and-miss). I also work in healthcare so I know for a fact that men are typically NOT the best caregivers when it comes to sickness and ageing. The only thing that men generally get better at doing as they age is making money (providing). This is what they are truly good at. I think it’s sad that so many women cheat ourselves out of the main benefit of union with men. Many women take the ‘do it all myself’ route and end up picking men based on properties that most will likely dissipate over time (romance, sex etc). Such women will likely wake up one day and see their men as dead weight when the natural progression of ageing and relationships happens. I’m glad that channels like this exist to get women to think about this stuff before we settle down!
👏🏾👏🏾 Chloe you hit the nail on the head with this one. Black women are always shamed into wanting to date a man with money because he’s allegedly an “abuser” and I’m sick of it. Like you stated money doesn’t change a mans character.
Hey Ms Chloe , Ladies. You speak nothing but truth. I am an RN who at one point had 2 1/2 jobs. Ive watched so many successful women (myself included ) try to be all to a scab who had nothing but some mediocle D. My time in the military was my downfall I was a female in a dominately male position, and now in a female dominated position im blown away by the aftermath of their deception. We deserve tender care , gifts ,kindness and adoration anything else is unacceptable.
Salaam. I was dating a guy for over a year and we go out to eat at least four times a week because we are both foodies and enjoy discovering new restaurants. When mentioning this to a group of companions the topic came up of why they didnt understand why he always paid for all these dinners when I have my own money. I knew then I was in the midst of mule mentality. Also, any man that provided for me never "abused" me. If a man is a asshole he's going to be a asshole no matter what is in his bank account!
"Missing fries from his happy meal." gets me everytime😂😂😂 Abusive men are in every tax bracket🤷🏾♀️ A person's income is not an indicator of their character. To be honest, I think the reason why a lot of black American women believe that rich men are evil is because of this misquoted Bible verse: "Money is the root of all evil." The real Bible verse in 1 Timothy 6 : 10 says:" *For the love of* money is the root of all evil." The real Bible verse has a completely different meaning than the often misquoted Bible verse. The meaning of the real Bible verse is saying that if a man loves money more than God and anything else in the world, he can be destructive. Money is a good thing! When it's managed wisely and used correctly. Some people love money so much that they will do horrible things to get it. Donald Trump is a perfect example of that. He didn't shutdown the whole entire United States for a month to flatten the COVID-19 curve just to keep the economy going; Which doesn't make any sense because the economy was gonna crash either way. It's just shutting down the country for a month would be more beneficial because more lives would be saved, but Trump does not see it that way because his love for money overpowers basic morals that previous presidents before him had.
Thank you for this!!! It has always bothered me when people misquote the Bible. If money is so evil, then why would God bless King Solomon the way that He did? Why would God promise to deliver prosperity to His children if money is so wrong? You articulated perfectly that the use and love for money is what leads to evil. There's no honor or diginity living in poverty.
I've been fortunate to be a married stay at home mom and i have no guilt about it. I have 4 children, 18,15,10 and 8 and i am far from lazy. All my children are on honor roll, my 2 oldest have 1st degree black belts in martial arts, my oldest son works at giant eagle and has recieved 3 full academic scholarships from Ohio State, RoseHoldman engineering college and Perdue. My 2 oldest are on the debate team, my daughter is in Japanese club and knows how to play the flute, sew, and loves arts and crafts. And all my children are well behaved, and well balanced. I couldn't have cultivated them to the level they are on and keep my sanity working a job. My husband is our sole provider and has a lawncare business and is a barber and he is a blessing to me and our children. He deserves a woman who looks amazing, he deserves the vegetarian meals i cook, a peaceful home and the upmost respect. And he loves to show off our family. There's nothing like a man living in his masculine and a woman living in her feminine. It's what God intended.
Speaking only of myself, I was groomed to not expect and prioritize men to provide. Inside the message was, If a black woman got attention and at least half of love from a man that alone should be enough because from childhood I received so little. No father, single mother and a slew of shameful male experiences for myself and others taught me that black women where naturally on the bottom of the value stack when it came to be cared for, wifed up, and especially protected and provided for...when looking through wedding magazines as a girl..the emphasis was always on a white woman's happily ever after. So I give it to God and in the meanwhile live for my happiness and wait on no one to provide that, be grateful for everything. At the end of the day whether if you decide to pay the bills and be with a not so masculine provider guy or wait till you hit gold..the point is just never sell out on what you truly desire. You know what's most important to your soul and these are the things never to compromise on.. You will always be unhappy if you compromise your values but only you know what that is.
Muling is for mules! The independent message has been received, so those who try to come for necks, give it up. The shame and blame has been muted by feminine women. Ladies continue to have the mindset of being provided for and protected by high value men. The reason so many are guilt tripping because of envy and jealousy instead of minding their business. Like the saying, lots of folks keep their minds on the wrong things. Btw, the low value men need to truly grow up...seriously. The abusive behaviors and dusty actions are staler than 40 day bread. Great video, Chloe_👏👏👏💟
Black women have been conditioned to be the mules in the community while other races of women sit pretty wanting for nothing. We were told to go to school , get our degrees and become businesswomen who didn’t need a man . The songs that we danced to or played in our cars aloud even preached the INDEPENDENT mantra. They were telling us all along we shouldn’t expect anything more. “Work two jobs . She a bad broad” is what was recited in the lyrics and convinced ourselves it was normal . Some of our fathers taught us that including mine and our moth ers did the same so Webbie couldn’t have been lying when he wrote that song. Wrong. Now, the roles have reversed and young women are starting early buying men affection.Its time to take our roles back from the dusties and rest in our femininity.
Love Love Love this message Chloe! As a mother raising two young girls and starting them early on their hypergamous journey NOW I approve this message. I explained to them you are not here to be a work horse. If and when you are ready to be a wife always know the difference between a “provider” and the “provided for”. Rule # 1 If a man has to ask you what a provider looks like to you.....sis he ain’t one🤷🏽♀️ I want to see my black women uplifted and praised just like every other race of women. Chole you said a mouthful love, the dusties feel like we want to be lazy if we have the slightest expectation of them to be providers. I can’t stand the constant comparing financial ambition and hustle mentality between man and woman when it comes to our people. Set your standards high and be relentless about your expectations. Simple as that🙌🏾❤️🥰 Thanks for all you do Chole
WOW! Girl this is such a blessing you have no idea. The way you broke it down and spoke so much truth! I’m nodding my head the whole time! 💕thank you so much for all u do. We as black Women need this more than what we know! Not just for us but generations to come
Having your own may shield you from financial problems if a marriage doesn't work out but it doesnt protect against emotional or psychological problems that may occur,having your own is not always foolproof and it's not the ultimate form of protection
Please ladies, even if you make your own money, even if it is more than your husband or boyfriend, don’t pay for anything, don’t talk about your money or money with him. See you have to walk around like it is expected of him to pay. I am from Africa and I saw my great grandfather proving for his wife, I saw my grandma 👵 being provided for, and I saw my mom being provided for. But it doesn’t mean that those women didn’t make money 💴, they did but they knew that it’s theirs, and if yes , something was to happen they had extra cash to cover the expensive, I remember my grandpa 👴 asking my Nana where she takes money from? When I moved to the United States 🇺🇸, I was surprised how women were so proud to have their money, working outside homes or giving money to their husbands or boyfriends, buying them card and houses... and being shamed, some of them putting fear on me that my man, was going to leave if I don’t help to provide. I was like ok. If you grow up in Africa, it is the opposite, I remember my aunties talking I’m the room how her boyfriends were making big promises on gifts 🎁, they could not settle, that they would be with the man who could bring more, helping them Opening businesses, sometimes who will pay for their siblings to go to school. Man would do anything for them , even now in Africa if you are a feminine women, who knows how to play well with your femininity no matter how dark or fat you are you can get that man to provide and never settle.
Ive always wanted to be in an hypergamous relationship after watching my mother work multiple jobs to raise her 5 children on her own. I was always told a rich man will cheat on you. If you want to date a man with money, you should be expected to be cheated on.. especially a Black man with money since they have so many options. I spent much of my earlier 20s dating a Black guy from New Orleans that was a software engineer making $100,000 annually. He manipulated me with that saying, so much so that I dealt with him up until he had a baby with a mixed chick he met during our situation. He wasn’t even that rich (didn’t come from money) but made more money than all of the Black guys I was meeting. Since then (I’m in my late 20s now) I still want to be in a hypergamous relationship, but I’m continuously working out my feelings from the trauma I experienced. That situation scared tf out of me.
My stepmom warned me about depending on a man financially because she was abused by my provider dad. Whole time I thought he put her ahead of my sister and me. Turns out he was just a narcissistic person. I didn't make the connection until I divorced my narcissistic husband. I had been in a vicious cycle practically my whole life. Fortunately, I was financially secure enough to survive and become a stay at home mom. I work everyday to express gratitude and release the masculine energy that has essentially brought me to this point. In hindsight, I have been truly blessed and covered.
My dad did just that raised his daughters not to rely on a man, but I will say that he saw the decline of the man and the break up of the family structure. At a very young age he was instilling this in me and my sister we are both 50 plus and he still talk's to women like this and he's 86. Don't get me wrong I've seen my father tell men off and call them bums having children and don't want to take care of them I today understand and agree with him, my father was a provider we were not rich but he took care of all of us and step in to help me when my children's father abandoned me with 3 children. Love my dad.
I have my own been on my owe since I was 19 years old. I'm 32 years last 3 men I was with I was doing for them. If they would be doing for me best believe I would be been abused mental and physical. They even told me so sad I want a man to provide for me. I'm so scared thinking I will probably loose everything I work hard for 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 . What do you expect from dusties and especially when they are saying they are the prize smh. Thank You Chloe you just saved my life you making me feel so much better like I'm not the crazy woman. I just need to work on my womb!!!
I can understand in one way to see my neighbor who totally depend on her husband she has no job or schooling and he cheats on her. He sometimes don't even come home at nights. So ladies I would say PRAY and ask GOD to send you your provider of a husband
Maybe i'm selfish. I'm never satisfied with little financial help from men. Idk why, i'm just not easily impressed. I think most bw know that most bm don't have it together so they're forced to get their own since wanting bm only is their thing. The black community will never have enough eligible men and that is the hard truth.
NINA WESTLAKE True! But as black women we do have options. I’m not saying to date interracially. I’m into bm as well. However, as bw we have to put ourselves in places we’re high value bm are. Also, we need to look at age as well. Some of us might not have enough game to get a provider man in our age group or we not find a man in our age group who has enough funds to provide. So it might be more ideal to get a man that is older because they usually are more established. You also have to look past his looks. As a hypergamous women, you have to have a winning mindset and think strategically to get what you want. Many women settle for dusties because they think it’s easier. However as a hypergamous feminine woman, you do not stop at dusties you do what it takes to get the best man to become you husband. As women, we have to think about the future of our children and the lifestyle we want for them and ourselves. I personally am not willing to settle for a bm that can only pay the “light bill”.lol If more bw have this mindset and not give their time energy and bodies to certain bm maybe bm would get educated, have careers, and become entrepreneurs. Because the standard would imply that they need to have money in order to get a woman. The funny thing is that most men know this, hence when the come up they usually leave their women for the leveled up woman. So just be smart in how you choose a mate and choose the best option for you and never settle. #keepithypergamous
@@Mjalwayzicon19 This is great advice. You're absolutely correct - men are acutely aware they must have their financial house and career in order to even get a chance at the best women. Of course there is a long list of other duties and tasks that men must accomplish as well...but providing protecting, and LEADING his family are the top three that drives everything else on proving yourself as a great husband and father. If men can’t or WON’T do those things, it makes sense that women avoid these men in search of competent, responsible, hardworking, and PROVEN men. Men get motivated to work hard when they see the best men get time, attention, and devotion from the best women. A big mistake made by many women is giving time, emotion, and their bodies to unworthy men. Even worse is that many women do this at the height of their prime years. Women who come searching for provider-husbands in their 30s and beyond have to seek out men 15 to 20 years older, because men in their age range watched the best women easily give themselves to no-good men. Smart and high value men have almost no issues investing in young, pretty, healthy and fit, and FEMININE women who TRULY want marriage, motherhood, and a comfortable life. These types of women should have no trouble finding top-tier men. Men are literally chasing after young and pretty women who are in their late teenage years and all throughout their 20s. If women truly want the best life with the best men, they have to secure these men in their PRIME YEARS and ALREADY be the type of women Chloe always talks about on her channel.
@@Mjalwayzicon19 Very true! My sister made the same mistake four times. Four times! She raises four troublesome kids on her own and still talks that dust bunny talk. She doesn't want to be helped, so, i stopped giving advice.
I'm married to a wonderful non- abusive black American man. I work because I want to, not because I need to. Our household is a sanctuary for the people who live here. I'm not bragging, just saying it is possible. Find the right one, and work diligently together.
Speaking of mules, I had a quarantine bae but he ended things with me. He took issue with the fact that I wasn’t cooking and waiting on him hand and foot. I didn’t think that was the arrangement when we decided to brave through COVID together. I work from home. He was an essential worker. He also asked me “what did I bring to the table besides looks”, he was disappointed because he thought “I would have more substance “. I’m taken aback and hurt.
"More substance"? Let me guess... Like being a mule-ing, desperate, do anything just to have a man pickmesha? No thank you. And I hope by "essential worker" you mean DOCTOR or restaurant/grocery CHAIN OWNER?... Anything less, I would *NOT* be hurt about losing!
I'm so sorry you're hurt! I'm glad the trash took himself out though. He presented two huge red flags from what you just told us. It doesn't sound like he would have been worth the time and energy in the long run.
I believe women who express interest in acquiring provider men are shamed due to jealousy. Some men and women feel threatened when you level up your standards, act accordingly, and acquire the type of man you desire.
✨💖✨moral of the story: it’s acceptable to be provided for and not okay to be the breadwinner/carrier of your relationship ladies ✨💖✨why would you wanna do it, anyway?
Every since I found Chloe, I have been nothing but blessed, this just confirmed to me that it's ok to be provided and not to be ashamed of it. I'm a single mother in college paying my own way. I meet a man who wants to take care of me and my son. He is an Architect Assistant in Nigeria and can't wait to get here to me so he can provide better. I have never had someone be so serious. He talked about how the men in the family have it no other way, but to take care of their women. He is a love our savior Jesus Christ as well
If we keep running into these new thinking types of men ( the young and old) we gonna need to have our own, sorry ladies. Just don’t make the mistake of getting involved with them. Unless u wanna be robbed .....out of your feminine side
I have a question? Can you still be in a hypergamous relationship and still have you own? The man still pays the bills as he should, but what do I do with my own money? Do I invest it into a potential business that can benefit our family, do I use it to redecorate the home, buy my children things, or use it as my personal “pamper yourself” fund? What do I do with my money?
Steph R Some of these Dusty men work part time or full. The BW pays all the bills. I’ve seen these first hand with friends and family members. That Dusty man is saving all his money. Making excuses why he can’t pay any bills. BM get tired of you and there on to low shelf Becky.
The delivery of this video is so well articulated and it’s rare that I am in 100% agreement with EVERYTHING anyone says. But I could not find not ONE lie in your assessment. We are absolutely overly self reliant. If being sick and tired were a person, it’d be a black 👏🏾 WOMAN!
I'm so over this. It's absolutely annoying that every race of woman can be a woman except black women.
Charnell Price tell me about it. Like we don’t deserve to be feminine.
Abena C exactly! 🙄
Charnell Price facts go forbid should she even love her self
Damn
Charnell Price I agree. It’s a shame that if a black woman marries a man that takes care of her, she’s judged.
To add to what Chloe saying, statistically men who are not financially secured are more likely to be abuser's. Most men who are wealthy or has money will not risk losing their wealth by going to jail. I am not saying wealthy men do not abuse their wives but when a man is lacking in finances he tends to take his frustration out on his woman.
Excellent observation! If you study the Power and Control Wheel it list being unemployed as a risk factor
Speakkkkkk!!!!
Yessss!
Right. Brokies have very little to lose.
@@Pinkpanda811 I thought the same.
Men date women for looks, women date men for money. It's a fair exchange.
mzyorkie facts
It takes money to upkeep looks so I say its fair.
@B C all women have some form of beauty to them
So women don’t date for looks either lol
Well idk if it is just looks...or just money...oh okay maybe for just dating...! For marriage men desire a woman who looks good, is desirable, shifts the atmosphere, respects and 'wants' him. For women, we desire security, exclusivity, love, protection, etc. although many settle for validation and the illusion of security.
“The only thing that money will do to a man is make him more of who is already is” AMEN Chloe, speak on it 🙏🏾
Fineapple Felicity exactly, if he’s sadistic , money will enhance that. If he’s a saint, money will enhance that. Money cannot sugarcoat the motives of the heart.
Exactly. Money is an amplifier. If you're abusive, you will be this way with or without money and likewise.
While there is something to be said for the hypergamous life, the fact it that to live an entirely hypergamous traditional life means that women as individuals take a financial hit. Over a lifetime, a woman can lose out on hundreds of thousands of income earned if she is purely dependent on a man. The smart thing for a truly hypergamous woman to have the motto of Megan Thee Stallion "Yes I have my own bag, but I am in his too"
Nicole Cowie duly noted. You and Megan are absolutely right lol. Secure you bag...... AND his 😌😌😌
Mmm a WHOLE WORD!
I have a new boyfriend who is russian he is loving, very protective of me and would never let me pay for a single thing let alone bills😂😂 we plan on getting married and i have the choice to work or not. Wish me luck guys😊💜
I pray everything goes well for you girl. God bless you xx ❤❤
I need invitation pls
@@ruthchinenye8700 for sure😂😊
@D Goshay ah, the trafficking part...
@D Goshay if he's illegal, he may be using her for a green card. Don't mean to be negative. I just would hate for her to be hurt. Remember, a guy needs to come into your life to love you, nothing else.
I wont take care of a man....he has to be a provider and that's not up for debate.
Divagirlshoes period!!
The loving is so much better when a man is Providing and Protecting. Its a beautiful thing. Just my opinion.
I can’t wait to experience THIS in my future 🥰🥰❤️😍😍
I absolutely 100000% agree with you
Amen!
@@Missbriana27 Me too.
I can imagine, you can be at ease better💞
Yup...in my dating app profile I put: "I like an independent man that doesn't need a woman for anything" it's about time we start flipping it around on these men!!!
Love this ❤️
Does that WORK?
Love that!!
I do the same.
@@TURBOBEATZZZ A man should want to be with you not NEED you I think was the point.
I'm tired. I want to be feminine and taken care of while I take care of his spirit when he needs me.
Well Put
🗣FREN! 🧡🧡🧡
this was so eloquently stated💞💞💯🙌
@@nuwoman1828TY dear, it came from my heart.
Enaah the Virgo and in 2 short sentences, you have effectively summed up everything that Chloe’s channel is about, and the real reason why this practice is important-because you have described what is the natural order of things-which is, the man takes care of the things in the natural world, while the women, creative and intuitive, takes care of his(and her own) spirit. This was very well said.
“82” jobs and “34” side hustles 🤣🤣 4:59
Bold&Black MuvA me either.
This is that Tyler Perry all rich men are bad narrative.
And a poor man knows the meaning of love.
@Material Girl Exactly. You got me chuckling over here. It's true. Tyler Perry bad wigs.
I made a video about this on my channel. I stated the pros and cons Tyler Perry movies
Dont forget he gotta be light skinned with a felony and a bad wig.
@@AlmazB lmao your comment took me out. I am dying, I can't
I think it stems from the bitterness, basically women are saying to each other, “My dreams didn’t come true, and neither will yours”. Hurt ppl hurt ppl. Now that everyone is damaged goods, all that’s left is the anger and the bitterness and the rose petals on the floor 🥀
Exactly. Some can’t see it for themselves so they project their dysfunctional past onto other’s.
Word!
Because it didn’t happen for me, I don’t want it to happen for you.
And people kill me saying: “He May have it all but he may not be a good person” 🤔 oh? And brokies are saints? I think we all have enough sense to not be bothered with a man who is mistreating us...... smh
Tn Girl54 Agreed 100%. A dusty will do you extra dirty because you are the breadwinner. It takes away from his masculinity and he we will resent you for it . This is where the abuse and cheating comes to play . An alpha gets a high taking care of his feminine woman and wouldn’t have it any other way .
maddy H right!
luthien_gs right! My thing is... all that nice broke guy thing isn’t paying your bills, taking you to the next level, nor securing futures smh...
luthien_gs exactly!!! All this entertaining men for the bare minimum is not where it’s at.
@maddy H girl hook a sista up please.
I was just thinking about this today. Whenever people see a woman especially a black woman being spoiled by a man. Everyone gets mad, especially black women funny enough. Notice how most people who push the "have your own" are pick me's and men who don't have THEIR own aka dusties.
Or women who expected their man to handle it all and got left behind - especially from older generations.
Almost everyone is invested in keeping black women at the bottom of the totem pole. When it comes to bw shaming other bw, it's because they resent other bw, who know their worth and are just jealous. Sometimes they're confused/brainwashed into thinking that we're being destructive or something. Very sad and weird.
FACTS! A dusty told me a woman MUST work. I get that it could be a preference or ideal but he said she MUST work. The minute he said that I was turned off and he had the nerve to say it while riding in the passenger side of my luxury car, chile bye! I only dropped him off because he filled my tank. He did not have a car but his BM did!
Exactly
RIGHT ????
And I see when people see a BLACK man spoiling his BLACK woman, they say « Oooh that’s drugs money »
I was shamed by my sister in law for not having a job, and that I am wasting my degree, she did it in front of my husband, I understood that she was envious that my husband was taking care of me, but shaming me despite my illness shows just how problematic weaponizing us to be mules is, it didn’t matter to her that I have several auto immune illnesses including lupus. So ladies except being provided for don’t allow yourselves to be bullied or shamed.
I will. ❤
Shaming no longer works on me. I pity the fool who chooses to struggle their way into an early grave. I’m in my bag and best believe in his bag too. 💅🏾
It took months of mental rewiring to feel comfortable receiving. To not feel like a “gold digger” but a woman who is blessed and deserving.
That independent narrative will keep you on a carousel with dusties forever. Keep your social media private and masculine women on mute.
“Masculine Women on Mute!”💯
Eva Green Lover to protect yourself from LURKERS and the spirit of ENVY.
Literally learned this with YOUR comment just now. I was talking to a man for a few weeks online good chats and mentioned that my time cost money. He gave me a very low offer to which I decline until I had the amount I wanted. Since then cut him off for other reasons and felt so guilty keeping the money. I realized that I am a beautiful woman with great banter and deserved that money. I will be making a lovely purchase now that this guilt is gone. Thank you for this comment you have no idea how much it helped me!!
If a man can’t protect and provide he isn’t worth my time 🤷🏾♀️...
But the question is are you a submissive woman???
I think that women are shamed and bullied for being hypergamous because deep down inside every woman, our natural instincts to be protected and provided. The admiration that women have for hypergamous women unfortunately manifest itself in the form of envy and pettiness. Right now I am living in a house which I share with a jealous roommate who envies the amount of luxury and skills that I have, it is just female nature to want what another woman has.
@SARA exactly since I am 16 myself and she is 23
Girl you need a guarantor to sign on a apt, be safe.
@@satiricalsartorial Thank you so much!
Hey that's what they teach you unless you're lucky or look for another explanation, it's not her "fault" probably if she heard Chloe's videos she would change her mind
I think women should have the ability to have their own. Just in case. I have my own and I get to keep my own while my husband takes care of our family.
@D Goshay fact 💯
I agree!!!! Im the same way!!!!
Congratulations dear
94 jobs & 32 side hustles🤣😂🤦🏽. Yup even in numerous rap/R&B songs over the years promote this "she got her own/independent" ,"don't need a man for nothing" tired rhetoric🙄
Ciaobella Amour ugh exactly I cringe when I hear those songs
Fuck NE-Yo who impregnated and ultimately wifed a porno star who is now divorcing him and about to get half his Empire the sad part is i think monyetta would still take him back and BUILD back what he lost.😂
yes thank you so much for saying how men are never shamed for not providing but women are shamed for not working!! Perfect analogy and I will start to use it when people attack hypergamous women
I will also continue to do this. They know me better, both men and women never come to me talking senseless trash.
Li Lin facts
That’s losers not real men, but the problem is a lot of women don’t want to look inward. I’m nearly 27 I’m considered responsible and a protector by my family and peers if I want a girlfriend let alone a wife I’m literally told To play stepdad and the whole package deal situation kids,ex husband/boyfriend and all the cost that I didn’t create. There’s plenty of losers out there butthat’s only a fraction of men if a woman is going to bring that situation to the table she has to question her value before she can question anyone else’s value.
@@damionjackson1743 well it goes both ways. You have to weed out the losers and keep looking.
In your life experiences how many women have met or know who are in their mid 20s to early 30s that don’t have kids or nor student loan debt.
Thank you for doing this video. I don't know why ppl believe that successful men are abusive. None of the successful men I've dated ever abused me but i dated a dusty guy who hit me and broke my nose. Ladies stay away from guys who have nothing to loose.
So true I agree with you..
So true! They have nothing to lose and are angry that they cannot measure up to what they know you deserve. Also, they know you can get pampering and adoration elsewhere, so they try to ruin your beliefs of that by messing you up physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Truly sick and sad individuals.
Chloe women are shamed for wanting to be provided for because a lot of men were not raised to be head of the house hold or to be a provider. Men want to be considered the head when their manhood is tested. Then they hide behind a women's skirt when it comes time to be that leader.
I still believe a man's role is head of the house hold. When a women gets married she takes his last name. In tradition the father gives his daughter away. Why? Because he is giving his daughter away to a man he trusts will TAKE CARE OF his daughter the way that he did. He is picking up where the father left off! Daddy don't expect for his daughter to be a head of any man's household so these men have cleverly turned the table because they know they are lacking in a lot of areas. Chloe, thank you for your channel it has opened so many doors to freedom and break through. I hope much success to you present and future! 🎊🎉💰🍷
FATHERS teach those lessons about head of household duties to young boys as they grow into competent, mature, and responsible men. Over 70% of Black babies are born out of wedlock, so it's easy to see how many young men grow up missing those lessons. Just who is supposed to marry all these single mothers? The issue that often gets omitted in discussion is the fact there are THREE TIMES MORE single mothers than unmarried Black men who are baby daddies. Men without kids can BARELY find a woman who DOES NOT already have some deadbeat's kid(s). There are MORE Black men above the age 30 who DON’T have kids than women in that same age range who ALREADY have kids with other men. It’s unfair to expect men WITHOUT kids to pick up other men’s responsibilities. No one is forcing women into single motherhood - women are making the choice to be single mothers by ALLOWING losers and deadbeats to blast inside them WITHOUT protection and WITHOUT marriage, and that's on them. Losers and deadbeats NEVER take accountability for their actions, therefore it's on women to make smart choices. Bums and deadbeats should NEVER have a chance at top-tier or the best women, and yet here we are...
maddy H 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@maddy H Some Black men don't want to be the head of house, because they don't have to accept the responsibility. Those deadbeats and losers who approach you don’t need to do any real work, because they’re ALREADY getting what they want from women…which is sex without commitment or requirements. It’s the reason they behave that way. It didn’t work with you, but it works with other women…which is why they have no incentive to step up as men. The flip side is that not ALL women are worthy of marriage. I have conversations with both men and women on these issues…the truth is there is lots of slacking on both sides.
Sounds like my father, a high ranking bum who won't even help my mom bring in groceries.
Just yesterday a black,male coworker asked me what do I have to bring to the table 🙄🤦🏽 when we touched the topic of dating & how's it out here nowadays. Go figure....
Ciaobella Amour I would of left lol what u got at the table for me to show up ? Is what I would of said lol
when my ex asked me this i told him his table was from rent-a -center and in his mammy name💅👅
How can you bring something to the table when you are the table? lmao 😂
I don’t even answer the question. Men don’t ask that question for your answer. It’s a trick. They ask it for the specific purpose of creating a door into getting into your head and shaming you away from something that is for your benefit. A man who wants to provide will never ask that question.
@Thetasteofhoney1 I like that answer! 🌹
Whether a women has degrees, her own business is immaterial, a man should be spending his time developing his character, finances and education so he can one be an asset to wife and children.
As a black woman I hate when men want to see Women of color as Strong and independent.I see the term “Queen” as offensive and masculine now.
I agree with everything Chloe has to say but what I will say ladies IF you choose the hypergamous lifestyle. You gotta come ready to SLAY. I met a man who was prepared to take care of both my child and I but he wanted me to basically look the part of a kept woman. Long story short don't just get out here and don't be on fleek. Lose the weight, keep your nails on point and hair neat and polished, perfect your wardrobe. Learn to distinguish high value men from a man looking to manipulate and control you in exchange for money. Stay ready so you dont have to get ready ya.
This is soo true!
Blue Eyes IMO it’s because a woman with fresh manicured nails, especially if they are long, is literally resting in her femininity... she literally cannot lift a finger... it’s dainty and delicate and shows that at the core the woman is here to be beautiful not here for the hard work
Black women just need to wake up to the fact they have the least to lose and the most to gain! What do you have to lose by doing something different if you keep complaining about the same things over and over.
tell it!!!! sometimes I think BW are so used to being at the bottom we dont know how to let go and move on to better situations
Morgan Knowing how isn’t the problem. Every expert starts as an amateur. Our problem is we believe there is knowing for us outside of all we’ve every seen and known. We’re scared of what we don’t know or know how to handle. Most victims of abuse convince themselves its better to stay with the what they know because at least they know how to cope with it.
@@purplekitty so your saying some BW stay in bad sistuations because thats all they know?
Morgan I’m saying people who are use to abuse become very afraid of what they don’t know because their scared of what they don’t know being worse. Humans naturally fear what they don’t know. Imagine that same natural fear but stuck in a unhealthy scenario.
Great point
Whew always dropping gems!!! 💎💎society focuses more on breaking women down for being hypergamous but spends less time telling men to be providers ..it’s sad and backwards
April Joi gurl yes it’s wack !!! I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL btw ... especially ur last video 😭😭😭
Toya Brown thank you gurl lol
Exactly, that is why women are shamed for being ''gold diggers'' but men are not shamed for being dusties and absentee fathers.
Hannah Pocock right so cringeworthy 🥴
💞💞💞
Ladies should be supported by her man if she has goals.
Ladies don't let a man convince you that you don't have your own goals and dreams. Don't be the Secretary to his.
Pay attention to a man's character and integrity with you from the start keep a journal of his behavior.
Whew! That "keep a journal of his behavior" is deep. That was a message for me. Thanks. I'm getting the pen and paper out right now.
I keep journals on everyone in my life ...
@@Cstar7Thats great doll 😊
It comes in handy especially when you come across a gas lighting manipulator
The journal will keep you sane
@@onlylauren4712 This! 😉
@@lolamonroe5910, my God, this is truth serum! I will definitely incorporate this into my life! 💕
Can’t forget.. Cam took care of Juju for 9 years, put her through school, helped her get $, fame then when he dropped her then she wants to preach that narrative which is deceiving
All those people men and women preaching that narrative to black american women are into some agenda and is not a good one
Bailey Francis facts ! He met her as a worker at the airport / student . Love how she glides over that lol
Bailey Francis say it louder for the people in the back! 🗣️
@@tessa726 It's too much of a coincidence. We have so many black women celebrities, who practice some form of hypogamy. And when a Ciara pops up (someone who leveled up and practiced hypergamy), everyone's attacking her for choosing better. When she was dating Future (who's a bachelor for life), not a lot of people made a big fuss about it. Makes you go hmm, doesn't it?
@@Cherryblos9 Well...Ciara had no business dating Future and all those other deadbeats in the first place. She's lucky Russell Wilson overlooked and forgave her past stupidity and bad life-decisions. Most women will not be that lucky to "level up" after giving their better years to lesser men.
Firstly, black women should STOP confusing sex for love, stop competing with other women that your boyfriend " might" like, and stop twerking in public!!
😂👍
Look no disrespect but all women should have their own money to the SIDE. He does not need to know. You should always always put money to the side not just because he might leave but anything can happen to him. Do provide but hide that money sis.
@@keishaspatts9559 ok the last time I depended on a man and didnt have anything for myself. He ended up being a monster I had to leave my house in the middle of the night to go live with my mother and two kids because he Took care of the family for 5 years I had to start all over by my damn self. Never again. You should always have your own but still have respect for whoever you choose to be with.
A week ago, I'm on the train going to work during this pandemic. I see this man often enough to know he is crazy. He asked me a question and I did not answer. He preceded to call me out my name and dogging black women. He said out loud, black women always want a black man to take care of them. I'm like what's wrong with that?❤️
Question & Research They want to be taken care of by black women. Meanwhile, They have no problem taking care of other races of women.
@@GeminiZ_13 He started going off saying white women are better and they know how to treat a black man. Men like him, want to fight women but not a man. This is not my first encounter with him. In the last 8 years, I see him become overly angry because he thought this woman was laughing at him and she kept laughing. He has called me out of my name before. They are all crazy.
Ewww 😷
@@ChiChichiwe01 Eeew again...
@@questionresearch8721 I would look into a restraining order if I we're you! This person seems very psychotic and next encounter may escalate.
EXACTLY you never here other races talk about independent they are or talking about getting there own bag. You hear about them meeting and marrying successful men.
We as black women are taught not to rely on men where other races of women are taught how to be feminine and get a proper provider of a man.
Things have changed. In South Asian cultures, women are expected to do everything and be everything now. We’re supposed to be full-time stay at home mothers and simultaneously be educated, have top positions in our careers, and work incredibly hard in all aspects of our lives. I’ve noticed men taking advantage of these newer expectations that us women are supposed to follow.
@Eva Green Lover 💯
@Eva Green Lover No we are not all in this together. This is a channel to address Black womens issues. I understand your comment. But since when have Black women been 'in it together' with any other race of women? Please.
These are the kind of comments other races insidiously use to steal our ideas, participate in our spaces when it is not reciprocated in theirs.
Point taken. You like the channel. But please. "We" are NOT in this hypergamous game together. Us Black women are far behind. And we are trying to catch up and mend our fractured relationships.
My father told me to have my own. He also told me if a man cannot give me what I have and more don't get with him.
THE ONLY time ill ever show a man i have MONEYYYYYYY!!!!!!! is when am packing my bags to leave his house as i dragg my suitcases out to get my cab,then finally he will know am INDEPENDENT
Ready to deprogram and update my mindset. Ladies let’s take this impromptu downtime to really dig deep and upheaval this outdated damaging mindset.
I don’t think black women who actually KNOW you should have your own are mechanized as masculine figures. I think we never hear “I GOT YOU” or “THATS MY JOB” enough. Over the course of time we have been engineered to HANDLE IT because most (I said MOST) of us have kids and we have no other choice to get it, if not for us, for our kids. Any woman who knows who she is and knows what she brings to the table can automatically feel the vibe of a man who ain’t about nothing. When we are in tune with ourselves, know who we can and cannot lean on. Too many times I see ladies who ALLOW their boyfriend to “benefit” from what a woman is already providing for her children when this isn’t right. A man should benefit when he is your HUSBAND!!! Stop giving husband privileges to boyfriends!!! All 2020 we saying “I’m not doing that” end of story.
BornToBeMe SUS....Sus, I felt all that. It’s stressful to get your closest to see what we see. Especially when we care. And true, our love may come off as abrasive because we’re not IN IT....but it’s needed!!! Hopefully she will appreciate you. I will say this. Everybody gets that ONE RELATIONSHIP Sus where they are dumber than a box of rocks...cause we’ve all been there(in our 30s🙋🏾♀️)....but when you get free from that relationship you should have learned your lesson. Stick with her Sus. But she shouldn’t make this same mistake again. That’s called a pattern. Sounding boards can only go so far LOL. It’s a lot of energy!!!
Why have kids with broke men? That's the main issue that I see, nobody forces women to have kids out of wedlock with useless men
I feel like a lot women definitely like to shame other women they see get provided for because they are jealous and envy of those type of women they never had a man that provided for them they never saw their mother's get provided for and also a lot of the women in their families and I also have witnessed it by seeing other women being very jealous of my mother that is married to my dad for 30 years and is a great provider
@maddy H Thank you so much for sharing this. Your father truly loved your mother and operated in that mind set.
If Camron didn’t pay her education and give her that lifestyle, she wouldn’t have the means that she has now. She wasn’t totally independent.
Oh wow, is that true?
Black women are shamed and bullied about setting a standard of being provided for because of Jealousy! A deep sense of regret/shame that I, and other young women family members are setting and living out the standards the older ones want. It's never to late to make that change. "You don't have to stay down because you fell." Just get up ! I love your channel and content Chloe_ .
We are shamed into having our own because unlike the white community or other cultures we havent been provided the environment to dwell in our feminine only to focus heavily on having 6 degrees and 34 side hustles.
@Eva Green Lover Be quiet you bitter single women who men won't provide for. You don't even live in the USA and you don't understand what she means, you're just itching to attack out of frustration and disappointment so back to your man hunt, looking 4eva eva. Get back to me when Romanian, Polish or Bulgarian men want to spend money on you.
Black women especially will get jealous or envy of another black woman that has a provider but when they see another race of women with providers the reaction is different as if they are suppose to have a provider and nothing less while on the other hand looking at another black women and saying to themselves who the hell she think she is
Its also with white girls. I have friends with more cash than husband and not married and I can see that they’re unhappy. And when I speak to them the are in defense. I’m so happy to be on this journey dust free :)
This narrative has silenced black women for years
I never committed on these type of channels before but I have to say from personal experience thank you so much for posting this video. What she is saying is real. I offered to be a stay at home mom because we just do not have anyone who could watch our child nor could we afford daycare. As soon as we told some people like fam and some friends about me saying home alot of people kinda got mad and said " no she needs to work" we even explained how we could bring in more money in our house hold and how it could benefit us overall right now. but nope all they saw was a lazy black woman sitting on her ass watching tv instead of a mother making a temporary sacrifice for her family and a father wanting to step up to be a full provider. Yep the black community is really messed up in the head with this mentality and I believe it done more harm than good. I'm just so shocked at how black people don't want to see a black man over work themselves but okay with a black woman working herself to death smh. I might be the only one that feels this way but hey who knows.
charell tunson one thing I appreciated and still appreciate is the lack of bad influences my husband and I allow in our decisions for our family. I will never forget my in-laws calling and begging to keep our children for a weekend. My husband was adamant about these are OUR children and OUR responsibility. We can sacrifice a few date nights to be hands on with our children. So my point is do as you and your husband see fit to make things work under your roof🙌🏾 Best of luck to you and your family
Well if a dusty ,50/50,stringy snake, mama boy, narcissistic nathanel etc. approach you bells and sirens should go off -bad relationships bout to happen
Ladies and lurkers 😭😭😭
Breaking generational curses and or generational errant ideology one video at a time. Thanks Chloe ❤️
🙌🏽🙌🏾🙌🏿
Women are shamed by other women who don't think they are worth or deserving of being provided for. They may also be fearful that this provision won't happen, so it's easier to hold on to the belief that you have to build and provide for yourself. There is also probably an element of bitterness coming into play for women who "go after" feminine women. This was a great video, like all of yours. I enjoy this channel:)
I see this narrative in a lot of Tyler Perry movies. When he is rich he is an abuser but when he is poor he will love you.
It's scary that they don't warn women about broke men ..
Like the video because I know it something I have to get over - the lie I was sold that men with money will eventually control and avoided you 🇿🇦
Being provided for is the ultimate success of a hypergamous woman, I’m happy to have dodged a bullet from a dusty and very content with my boyfriend providing everything that I need❤️
That image of the man crying that she keeps posting had my 😂😂😂😂😂 each time it comes up!!!
I'm becoming less ashamed of voicing my want and need to find a man that naturally provides thanks to your channel! I used to think it made me a golddigga.
I was thinking of JUJU right before you mentioned her. Camron resented her financial gain, creativity, and reality TV exposure. He said she wasn’t fun anymore and stopped inviting her out to his events/projects. I think he was use to being the star and breadwinner in the relationship. Very much jealous tease. Meanwhile, she was talking about taking care of him financially, while he sits back. The role reversal never works. Unless he’s a beta male w/ minimal ambition.
I think some women shame other women for being provided for because they haven't found a man who will do the same. Many of these women who shame others also have been programmed from their nuclear family to not depend on a man (i.e., momma got hurt by daddy and she taught her daughter how depending on daddy was/is pointless).
What I have learned from Black men I use to date, is that some men fear they may lose their job and not have a back up plan to provide.
When Chloe uploads 🏃🏾♀️
I believe as a woman we should have a back up and savings, in case he dies gets sick or acts stupid. But at the end of the day the man should be pursuing and providing. End of story.
I’m soooo glad I’m naturally lazy so I could never be a mans work mule😂
Providing is the main thing that men bring to the table long term.
As relationships age, men tend to become:
-Less romantic (so the relationship becomes less emotionally fulfilling in many ways)
-Physically weaker (so his ability to physically protect will wane)
-At increased risk of erectile dysfunction/erectile issues (so sexual satisfaction becomes hit-and-miss).
I also work in healthcare so I know for a fact that men are typically NOT the best caregivers when it comes to sickness and ageing.
The only thing that men generally get better at doing as they age is making money (providing). This is what they are truly good at.
I think it’s sad that so many women cheat ourselves out of the main benefit of union with men. Many women take the ‘do it all myself’ route and end up picking men based on properties that most will likely dissipate over time (romance, sex etc). Such women will likely wake up one day and see their men as dead weight when the natural progression of ageing and relationships happens. I’m glad that channels like this exist to get women to think about this stuff before we settle down!
👏🏾👏🏾 Chloe you hit the nail on the head with this one. Black women are always shamed into wanting to date a man with money because he’s allegedly an “abuser” and I’m sick of it. Like you stated money doesn’t change a mans character.
Hey Ms Chloe , Ladies. You speak nothing but truth. I am an RN who at one point had 2 1/2 jobs. Ive watched so many successful women (myself included ) try to be all to a scab who had nothing but some mediocle D. My time in the military was my downfall I was a female in a dominately male position, and now in a female dominated position im blown away by the aftermath of their deception. We deserve tender care , gifts ,kindness and adoration anything else is unacceptable.
Salaam.
I was dating a guy for over a year and we go out to eat at least four times a week because we are both foodies and enjoy discovering new restaurants. When mentioning this to a group of companions the topic came up of why they didnt understand why he always paid for all these dinners when I have my own money. I knew then I was in the midst of mule mentality.
Also, any man that provided for me never "abused" me. If a man is a asshole he's going to be a asshole no matter what is in his bank account!
"Missing fries from his happy meal." gets me everytime😂😂😂 Abusive men are in every tax bracket🤷🏾♀️ A person's income is not an indicator of their character. To be honest, I think the reason why a lot of black American women believe that rich men are evil is because of this misquoted Bible verse: "Money is the root of all evil." The real Bible verse in 1 Timothy 6 : 10 says:" *For the love of* money is the root of all evil." The real Bible verse has a completely different meaning than the often misquoted Bible verse. The meaning of the real Bible verse is saying that if a man loves money more than God and anything else in the world, he can be destructive. Money is a good thing! When it's managed wisely and used correctly. Some people love money so much that they will do horrible things to get it. Donald Trump is a perfect example of that. He didn't shutdown the whole entire United States for a month to flatten the COVID-19 curve just to keep the economy going; Which doesn't make any sense because the economy was gonna crash either way. It's just shutting down the country for a month would be more beneficial because more lives would be saved, but Trump does not see it that way because his love for money overpowers basic morals that previous presidents before him had.
Thank you for this!!! It has always bothered me when people misquote the Bible. If money is so evil, then why would God bless King Solomon the way that He did? Why would God promise to deliver prosperity to His children if money is so wrong? You articulated perfectly that the use and love for money is what leads to evil. There's no honor or diginity living in poverty.
I've been fortunate to be a married stay at home mom and i have no guilt about it. I have 4 children, 18,15,10 and 8 and i am far from lazy. All my children are on honor roll, my 2 oldest have 1st degree black belts in martial arts, my oldest son works at giant eagle and has recieved 3 full academic scholarships from Ohio State, RoseHoldman engineering college and Perdue. My 2 oldest are on the debate team, my daughter is in Japanese club and knows how to play the flute, sew, and loves arts and crafts. And all my children are well behaved, and well balanced. I couldn't have cultivated them to the level they are on and keep my sanity working a job. My husband is our sole provider and has a lawncare business and is a barber and he is a blessing to me and our children. He deserves a woman who looks amazing, he deserves the vegetarian meals i cook, a peaceful home and the upmost respect. And he loves to show off our family. There's nothing like a man living in his masculine and a woman living in her feminine. It's what God intended.
Speaking only of myself, I was groomed to not expect and prioritize men to provide.
Inside the message was, If a black woman got attention and at least half of love from a man that alone should be enough because from childhood I received so little. No father, single mother and a slew of shameful male experiences for myself and others taught me that black women where naturally on the bottom of the value stack when it came to be cared for, wifed up, and especially protected and provided for...when looking through wedding magazines as a girl..the emphasis was always on a white woman's happily ever after.
So I give it to God and in the meanwhile live for my happiness and wait on no one to provide that, be grateful for everything. At the end of the day whether if you decide to pay the bills and be with a not so masculine provider guy or wait till you hit gold..the point is just never sell out on what you truly desire. You know what's most important to your soul and these are the things never to compromise on.. You will always be unhappy if you compromise your values but only you know what that is.
Lol 😂 man paying a light 💡 bill 😂😂😂😂 smh pathetic
Muling is for mules! The independent message has been received, so those who try to come for necks, give it up. The shame and blame has been muted by feminine women. Ladies continue to have the mindset of being provided for and protected by high value men. The reason so many are guilt tripping because of envy and jealousy instead of minding their business. Like the saying, lots of folks keep their minds on the wrong things. Btw, the low value men need to truly grow up...seriously. The abusive behaviors and dusty actions are staler than 40 day bread. Great video, Chloe_👏👏👏💟
”Keep your own” men do exist as well!
Black women have been conditioned to be the mules in the community while other races of women sit pretty wanting for nothing. We were told to go to school , get our degrees and become businesswomen who didn’t need a man . The songs that we danced to or played in our cars aloud even preached the INDEPENDENT mantra. They were telling us all along we shouldn’t expect anything more. “Work two jobs . She a bad broad” is what was recited in the lyrics and convinced ourselves it was normal . Some of our fathers taught us that including mine and our moth
ers did the same so Webbie couldn’t have been lying when he wrote that song. Wrong. Now, the roles have reversed and young women are starting early buying men affection.Its time to take our roles back from the dusties and rest in our femininity.
Eva Green Lover Thank you for your opinion but this topic is specifically for Black women .
Eva Green Lover You would know that Chloe mainly targets Black women if you actually follow her videos.Try again sweetheart. Take care.
Chloe is right I hope all women all over the world is listening from the Caribbean Trinidad and Tobago
Love Love Love this message Chloe! As a mother raising two young girls and starting them early on their hypergamous journey NOW I approve this message. I explained to them you are not here to be a work horse. If and when you are ready to be a wife always know the difference between a “provider” and the “provided for”. Rule # 1 If a man has to ask you what a provider looks like to you.....sis he ain’t one🤷🏽♀️ I want to see my black women uplifted and praised just like every other race of women. Chole you said a mouthful love, the dusties feel like we want to be lazy if we have the slightest expectation of them to be providers. I can’t stand the constant comparing financial ambition and hustle mentality between man and woman when it comes to our people. Set your standards high and be relentless about your expectations. Simple as that🙌🏾❤️🥰 Thanks for all you do Chole
WOW! Girl this is such a blessing you have no idea. The way you broke it down and spoke so much truth! I’m nodding my head the whole time! 💕thank you so much for all u do. We as black Women need this more than what we know! Not just for us but generations to come
Having your own may shield you from financial problems if a marriage doesn't work out but it doesnt protect against emotional or psychological problems that may occur,having your own is not always foolproof and it's not the ultimate form of protection
Please ladies, even if you make your own money, even if it is more than your husband or boyfriend, don’t pay for anything, don’t talk about your money or money with him. See you have to walk around like it is expected of him to pay. I am from Africa and I saw my great grandfather proving for his wife, I saw my grandma 👵 being provided for, and I saw my mom being provided for. But it doesn’t mean that those women didn’t make money 💴, they did but they knew that it’s theirs, and if yes , something was to happen they had extra cash to cover the expensive, I remember my grandpa 👴 asking my Nana where she takes money from? When I moved to the United States 🇺🇸, I was surprised how women were so proud to have their money, working outside homes or giving money to their husbands or boyfriends, buying them card and houses... and being shamed, some of them putting fear on me that my man, was going to leave if I don’t help to provide. I was like ok. If you grow up in Africa, it is the opposite, I remember my aunties talking I’m the room how her boyfriends were making big promises on gifts 🎁, they could not settle, that they would be with the man who could bring more, helping them
Opening businesses, sometimes who will pay for their siblings to go to school. Man would do anything for them , even now in Africa if you are a feminine women, who knows how to play well with your femininity no matter how dark or fat you are you can get that man to provide and never settle.
I must confess I am very afraid to depend on man for my financial support.
My ex would always say “men with money come with problems” I now see he was trying to get me to settle
Ive always wanted to be in an hypergamous relationship after watching my mother work multiple jobs to raise her 5 children on her own.
I was always told a rich man will cheat on you. If you want to date a man with money, you should be expected to be cheated on.. especially a Black man with money since they have so many options.
I spent much of my earlier 20s dating a Black guy from New Orleans that was a software engineer making $100,000 annually.
He manipulated me with that saying, so much so that I dealt with him up until he had a baby with a mixed chick he met during our situation.
He wasn’t even that rich (didn’t come from money) but made more money than all of the Black guys I was meeting.
Since then (I’m in my late 20s now) I still want to be in a hypergamous relationship, but I’m continuously working out my feelings from the trauma I experienced. That situation scared tf out of me.
My stepmom warned me about depending on a man financially because she was abused by my provider dad. Whole time I thought he put her ahead of my sister and me. Turns out he was just a narcissistic person. I didn't make the connection until I divorced my narcissistic husband. I had been in a vicious cycle practically my whole life. Fortunately, I was financially secure enough to survive and become a stay at home mom. I work everyday to express gratitude and release the masculine energy that has essentially brought me to this point. In hindsight, I have been truly blessed and covered.
"Hey ladies and lurkers" This lady says "present"
My dad did just that raised his daughters not to rely on a man, but I will say that he saw the decline of the man and the break up of the family structure. At a very young age he was instilling this in me and my sister we are both 50 plus and he still talk's to women like this and he's 86. Don't get me wrong I've seen my father tell men off and call them bums having children and don't want to take care of them I today understand and agree with him, my father was a provider we were not rich but he took care of all of us and step in to help me when my children's father abandoned me with 3 children. Love my dad.
I have my own been on my owe since I was 19 years old. I'm 32 years last 3 men I was with I was doing for them. If they would be doing for me best believe I would be been abused mental and physical. They even told me so sad I want a man to provide for me. I'm so scared thinking I will probably loose everything I work hard for 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 . What do you expect from dusties and especially when they are saying they are the prize smh. Thank You Chloe you just saved my life you making me feel so much better like I'm not the crazy woman. I just need to work on my womb!!!
I can understand in one way to see my neighbor who totally depend on her husband she has no job or schooling and he cheats on her. He sometimes don't even come home at nights. So ladies I would say PRAY and ask GOD to send you your provider of a husband
Maybe i'm selfish. I'm never satisfied with little financial help from men. Idk why, i'm just not easily impressed. I think most bw know that most bm don't have it together so they're forced to get their own since wanting bm only is their thing. The black community will never have enough eligible men and that is the hard truth.
NINA WESTLAKE True! But as black women we do have options. I’m not saying to date interracially. I’m into bm as well. However, as bw we have to put ourselves in places we’re high value bm are. Also, we need to look at age as well. Some of us might not have enough game to get a provider man in our age group or we not find a man in our age group who has enough funds to provide. So it might be more ideal to get a man that is older because they usually are more established. You also have to look past his looks. As a hypergamous women, you have to have a winning mindset and think strategically to get what you want. Many women settle for dusties because they think it’s easier. However as a hypergamous feminine woman, you do not stop at dusties you do what it takes to get the best man to become you husband. As women, we have to think about the future of our children and the lifestyle we want for them and ourselves. I personally am not willing to settle for a bm that can only pay the “light bill”.lol If more bw have this mindset and not give their time energy and bodies to certain bm maybe bm would get educated, have careers, and become entrepreneurs. Because the standard would imply that they need to have money in order to get a woman. The funny thing is that most men know this, hence when the come up they usually leave their women for the leveled up woman. So just be smart in how you choose a mate and choose the best option for you and never settle. #keepithypergamous
That is a valid point
@@Mjalwayzicon19 This is great advice. You're absolutely correct - men are acutely aware they must have their financial house and career in order to even get a chance at the best women. Of course there is a long list of other duties and tasks that men must accomplish as well...but providing protecting, and LEADING his family are the top three that drives everything else on proving yourself as a great husband and father. If men can’t or WON’T do those things, it makes sense that women avoid these men in search of competent, responsible, hardworking, and PROVEN men. Men get motivated to work hard when they see the best men get time, attention, and devotion from the best women. A big mistake made by many women is giving time, emotion, and their bodies to unworthy men. Even worse is that many women do this at the height of their prime years. Women who come searching for provider-husbands in their 30s and beyond have to seek out men 15 to 20 years older, because men in their age range watched the best women easily give themselves to no-good men. Smart and high value men have almost no issues investing in young, pretty, healthy and fit, and FEMININE women who TRULY want marriage, motherhood, and a comfortable life. These types of women should have no trouble finding top-tier men. Men are literally chasing after young and pretty women who are in their late teenage years and all throughout their 20s. If women truly want the best life with the best men, they have to secure these men in their PRIME YEARS and ALREADY be the type of women Chloe always talks about on her channel.
@@Mjalwayzicon19 Very true! My sister made the same mistake four times. Four times! She raises four troublesome kids on her own and still talks that dust bunny talk. She doesn't want to be helped, so, i stopped giving advice.
Hi Chloe! Could you please do a video on spotting men on the downlow? Love your videos by the way.
Good one.
Hannah Pocock This is a good one !
@@bonitaapplebum437 I figured so because she discussed the Andrew Gillum scandal.
I loved this one Chloe!
I'm married to a wonderful non- abusive black American man. I work because I want to, not because I need to. Our household is a sanctuary for the people who live here. I'm not bragging, just saying it is possible. Find the right one, and work diligently together.
Speaking of mules, I had a quarantine bae but he ended things with me. He took issue with the fact that I wasn’t cooking and waiting on him hand and foot. I didn’t think that was the arrangement when we decided to brave through COVID together. I work from home. He was an essential worker. He also asked me “what did I bring to the table besides looks”, he was disappointed because he thought “I would have more substance “. I’m taken aback and hurt.
"More substance"? Let me guess... Like being a mule-ing, desperate, do anything just to have a man pickmesha? No thank you. And I hope by "essential worker" you mean DOCTOR or restaurant/grocery CHAIN OWNER?... Anything less, I would *NOT* be hurt about losing!
I'm so sorry you're hurt! I'm glad the trash took himself out though. He presented two huge red flags from what you just told us. It doesn't sound like he would have been worth the time and energy in the long run.
I believe women who express interest in acquiring provider men are shamed due to jealousy.
Some men and women feel threatened when you level up your standards, act accordingly, and acquire the type of man you desire.
✨💖✨moral of the story: it’s acceptable to be provided for and not okay to be the breadwinner/carrier of your relationship ladies ✨💖✨why would you wanna do it, anyway?
Ladies and lurkers!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the shade starts early!!!
Every since I found Chloe, I have been nothing but blessed, this just confirmed to me that it's ok to be provided and not to be ashamed of it. I'm a single mother in college paying my own way. I meet a man who wants to take care of me and my son. He is an Architect Assistant in Nigeria and can't wait to get here to me so he can provide better. I have never had someone be so serious. He talked about how the men in the family have it no other way, but to take care of their women. He is a love our savior Jesus Christ as well
Tayan Smith still be careful
Asking the Lord God about him still. A man can say anything
Be careful and do not help him come to America! He can be telling you all that to get a green card
You guys are something else. Will you all let the Lord lead the way.
If we keep running into these new thinking types of men ( the young and old) we gonna need to have our own, sorry ladies. Just don’t make the mistake of getting involved with them. Unless u wanna be robbed .....out of your feminine side
I have a question? Can you still be in a hypergamous relationship and still have you own? The man still pays the bills as he should, but what do I do with my own money? Do I invest it into a potential business that can benefit our family, do I use it to redecorate the home, buy my children things, or use it as my personal “pamper yourself” fund? What do I do with my money?
All of those things
Put it up in a separate account. That's the "just in case" fund. In case he leaves. In case YOU leave. In case of emergency.
Steph R
Some of these Dusty men work part time or full. The BW pays all the bills. I’ve seen these first hand with friends and family members. That Dusty man is saving all his money. Making excuses why he can’t pay any bills. BM get tired of you and there on to low shelf Becky.
The delivery of this video is so well articulated and it’s rare that I am in 100% agreement with EVERYTHING anyone says. But I could not find not ONE lie in your assessment. We are absolutely overly self reliant. If being sick and tired were a person, it’d be a black 👏🏾 WOMAN!
I found your channel after my mistakes but you have come right on time. Keep it coming! You are helping this black woman in so many ways.
💞
“The mule agenda” 😂 good one Chloe.