Just be alone. The feeling of loneliness is better than what you will feel when you let that monster back in. You will be lonelier than you ever thought being with a narcissist. Keep. The. Door. Shut.
I def can relate to the feeling of “urgency” when w a narc. It can be as simple as the narc waiting in the truck while it’s running to go to dinner and you’re trying to get ready as soon as you can after working all day. Hurry up hurry up hurry up.
Mine is walking around with my name tattooed on his neck! He genuinely thought that would lure me back and trap me permanently. He played himself!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 The fool is walking around with my name on his neck!!! WILD!!!!!!!!
Whatever they end up saying just watch their actions. Words are empty. There’s really little to no follow through with making changes. Actions speak louder and consistent change is the key.
Don’t believe people have a change of heart when they are facing consequences and are making promises of change. People who’ve changed take initiative, they don’t say they’ll prove themselves after being bailed out. Also you don’t have to take back somebody who violated you. Changed or not.
I had a bit of an epiphany the other day: if the narcissist has no empathy they can't miss you and they can't consider you. A very cold thing. I can hardly understand it. But it seems to explain why they are so cold. And that's also why they use you - there is no love, just a function you serve in their lives.
You should write a book. I'd buy it. Maybe a work book too? The way you explain things would be good for that. You're like Ross Rosenberg in that way. You make it so easy to understand.
What everyone has to remember is all gestures, proclamations of they changed, any future baiting, anything that is done performatively that was never done once relationship routine settles in, is for a reassurance in manipulation skill. People can change, a narcissistic affliction cannot despise the mirage. Whatever they say is a polar opposite twisting of reality. We all ready have an answer. True clinical textbook narcissism. Our own imprinted beliefs in redemption must realize there are exceptions in life. That is what to believe in. In short, everything you said.
I am 67 and have been a punching bag beginning eith narcissistic family. I must say you di a phenomenal job in analyzing the scope and machinations of this unimaginable evil. Thank you for all you do.
Yes, you are speaking from your experiences,....which just so happen to be our experiences too. A big part of this problem is it goes head on against what we were taught. We never say hopeless or deliberate. Everything they do and say is by design to destroy us, and they are EXPERTS. We must reject what we were taught and accept them as HOPELESS.
There is no apology, never a sorry or even asking me what is wrong, she can't even send me a text message, she has to ring so she can manipulate anything I say, I feel really depressed and drained, I don't want to do this but I feel I must, for my own growth and integrity, my mind is telling me she didn't do anything wrong right now, I can't feel anything, but I know she gaslights me and says things to make me feel bad instead of trying to uplift me like other friends have done and even strangers, I hardly see her anyway she is so busy with all her holidays, tons of friends, her job, her partner etc. whilst i have none of this and i have just lost my beautiful cat, i am struggling to find a friend or partner and i am always alone now!❤ I am an artist so spend time alone with that but I've never had many friends!
I am a little in shock of how accurate you are regarding every single point you illustrated. Thank you for this video message. I really appreciate it. Eill listen again. Saved. ⭐
Lundy Bancroft, the Duluth model, doctor David Hawkins with the marriage and emotional abuse Recovery Center. These are the people or organizations that I am aware of that have gotten a very minut percent change out of a narcissist.
Or so they say--I worked with Hawkins with an ex and his input unfortunately was very problematic, he most definitely fed the narcissistic beast. I took a class with Bancroft and at least in that class and in 'Why Does He Do That,' he said there isn't even minute change possible. I know of the Duluth model, but haven't worked with it. All this to say I'm not sure even minute change, beyond the performance of it, is even possible. The few that maintain change over time may not be full-blown narcissists or are touched by one in a million grace. An ex of mine went to therapy on his own and remained in therapy for years to cement his 'good guy,' 'work in progress' and 'growth/change' mask, which was a highly effective manipulation tool, both of himself and others, including me. He used therapy, 12 step programs and the human potential movement as proof he wasn't a narcissist and to garner massive amounts of supply, build his harem garage, and to forge highly destructive smear campaigns with the support of dozens of people who believed his victim story. Lundy Bancroft is well aware of this dynamic and sees right through it. Hawkins became a part of it.
While there are effective methods of treating narcissism, none of them work on a person who doesn’t want to change. That’s the most important part of treatment, and it is very rarely present. There are no professionals skilled enough to change a narcissist against their will.
@@LookingBehindtheMirror If anything it'd simply be a challenge to see if they can manipulate the therapist. The more you point things out to them, they just get more manipulative and careful.
Sometimes I feel like the problem because I can't get over his lies. When he lies he'll say"what does it matter"? "I apologized, u want blood from me"? He did cry n say I'm sorry for hurting you, I don't wanna lose you. His last lie was saying his boss was black n old when she's white n young. I keep thinking about it, maybe I'm too jealous. He did say today when I brought it up "all I can say is sorry" n it was a big step to admit to his counselor..but yesterday he talked about how talking gets u know where n he had to hit his ex wife to get his point across. I said hitting is wrong..,"so it's okay for her to do...".. I didn't know he went to jail4 hitting her 4 times..He said he signed his divorce papers in 2015, n I said "I thought it ended in 2005" "oh yea that's when I was in jail".. smfh. He has hit me n shoved me to the ground n threatened to throw me down the stairs, but I'm trying to b a victim. He thinking hitting is okay..fighting to him is when u hit someone not arguing. Arguing n yelling is "debating" Everyday I replay over & over in my head his lies n it's eating at me. I barely can function ( sounds crazy but true)..n get depressed n barely wanna talk to him. Like I said I am jealous so I overthink too. Idk sigh
Society trains us that to be a “nice” person is to owe people.
Don't let faithfulness and loyalty blind you from the life you should be living now
Nobody deserves a second chance.
You don’t owe people second chances.
We don’t have a duty to be forgiving & patient with people.
Change usually only lasts a couple weeks.
Just be alone. The feeling of loneliness is better than what you will feel when you let that monster back in.
You will be lonelier than you ever thought being with a narcissist.
Keep. The. Door. Shut.
I def can relate to the feeling of “urgency” when w a narc. It can be as simple as the narc waiting in the truck while it’s running to go to dinner and you’re trying to get ready as soon as you can after working all day. Hurry up hurry up hurry up.
Mine is walking around with my name tattooed on his neck! He genuinely thought that would lure me back and trap me permanently. He played himself!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 The fool is walking around with my name on his neck!!! WILD!!!!!!!!
Whatever they end up saying just watch their actions. Words are empty. There’s really little to no follow through with making changes. Actions speak louder and consistent change is the key.
👍👍👍👍
1 day and they blame you , see me see me . Like I did that . 1 day of change . They want to acknowledge. While we never got acknowledged
Don’t believe people have a change of heart when they are facing consequences and are making promises of change.
People who’ve changed take initiative, they don’t say they’ll prove themselves after being bailed out.
Also you don’t have to take back somebody who violated you. Changed or not.
I had a bit of an epiphany the other day: if the narcissist has no empathy they can't miss you and they can't consider you. A very cold thing. I can hardly understand it. But it seems to explain why they are so cold. And that's also why they use you - there is no love, just a function you serve in their lives.
You should write a book. I'd buy it. Maybe a work book too? The way you explain things would be good for that. You're like Ross Rosenberg in that way. You make it so easy to understand.
What everyone has to remember is all gestures, proclamations of they changed, any future baiting, anything that is done performatively that was never done once relationship routine settles in, is for a reassurance in manipulation skill. People can change, a narcissistic affliction cannot despise the mirage. Whatever they say is a polar opposite twisting of reality. We all ready have an answer. True clinical textbook narcissism. Our own imprinted beliefs in redemption must realize there are exceptions in life. That is what to believe in. In short, everything you said.
You are so good at putting into words and explaining things that are so hard to explain, thank you so much!
I agree. 🙌 The best youtuber on the subject I have come across and there are many really good channels on the subject.
Life hack: leave immediately after the love bombing phase!
Then that original lie turns out to be a bigger lie than the one they told on top of several other lies
you are almost as good at convincing me as I am convincing myself .
I am 67 and have been a punching bag beginning eith narcissistic family. I must say you di a phenomenal job in analyzing the scope and machinations of this unimaginable evil. Thank you for all you do.
Yes, you are speaking from your experiences,....which just so happen to be our experiences too. A big part of this problem is it goes head on against what we were taught. We never say hopeless or deliberate. Everything they do and say is by design to destroy us, and they are EXPERTS. We must reject what we were taught and accept them as HOPELESS.
Absolutely!
How, so you know? Their lips move
There is no apology, never a sorry or even asking me what is wrong, she can't even send me a text message, she has to ring so she can manipulate anything I say, I feel really depressed and drained, I don't want to do this but I feel I must, for my own growth and integrity, my mind is telling me she didn't do anything wrong right now, I can't feel anything, but I know she gaslights me and says things to make me feel bad instead of trying to uplift me like other friends have done and even strangers, I hardly see her anyway she is so busy with all her holidays, tons of friends, her job, her partner etc. whilst i have none of this and i have just lost my beautiful cat, i am struggling to find a friend or partner and i am always alone now!❤ I am an artist so spend time alone with that but I've never had many friends!
the only change will be from us . we came hear because something was wrong . but the wrong has nothing to do with us
Please continue sharing your experience and insight. Thanks
Coincidence - JUN
01
World Narcissistic Abuse Day
On this day, let us take heed of the warning signs that constitute narcissistic abuse
I am a little in shock of how accurate you are regarding every single point you illustrated. Thank you for this video message. I really appreciate it. Eill listen again. Saved. ⭐
Lundy Bancroft, the Duluth model, doctor David Hawkins with the marriage and emotional abuse Recovery Center. These are the people or organizations that I am aware of that have gotten a very minut percent change out of a narcissist.
Or so they say--I worked with Hawkins with an ex and his input unfortunately was very problematic, he most definitely fed the narcissistic beast. I took a class with Bancroft and at least in that class and in 'Why Does He Do That,' he said there isn't even minute change possible. I know of the Duluth model, but haven't worked with it. All this to say I'm not sure even minute change, beyond the performance of it, is even possible. The few that maintain change over time may not be full-blown narcissists or are touched by one in a million grace. An ex of mine went to therapy on his own and remained in therapy for years to cement his 'good guy,' 'work in progress' and 'growth/change' mask, which was a highly effective manipulation tool, both of himself and others, including me. He used therapy, 12 step programs and the human potential movement as proof he wasn't a narcissist and to garner massive amounts of supply, build his harem garage, and to forge highly destructive smear campaigns with the support of dozens of people who believed his victim story. Lundy Bancroft is well aware of this dynamic and sees right through it. Hawkins became a part of it.
While there are effective methods of treating narcissism, none of them work on a person who doesn’t want to change. That’s the most important part of treatment, and it is very rarely present. There are no professionals skilled enough to change a narcissist against their will.
@@LookingBehindtheMirror If anything it'd simply be a challenge to see if they can manipulate the therapist. The more you point things out to them, they just get more manipulative and careful.
Oh God I am afraid. I said it is finished today. Please pray for me .
I will pray for you Rita, God helped me through a very frightening time, take courage and you will get through too. 🙏❤
@@someonenew9442 Thank you
May Almighty God Protect you my Friend and keep you steadfast with your decision to leave🤲Amen !
Their lips are moving when they lie...
Wow just experienced all of this. Thank you , will listen again.
They are Pathological liars....
I will NEVER ever Believe my ex again !
Him changing must come with ACTIONS and Be FOR GOD, not me !
Thank you. I appreciate your content.
THEY OPEN THEIR MOUTH
Your amazing thank you!
All of it is just more lies to support another lie
How do you know when a narcissist is LYING.
WHEN THEY MOVING AND RUNNING THEIR DAMN MOUTH..
DON'T BE FRIGGIN FOOLED.
Sometimes I feel like the problem because I can't get over his lies. When he lies he'll say"what does it matter"? "I apologized, u want blood from me"? He did cry n say I'm sorry for hurting you, I don't wanna lose you. His last lie was saying his boss was black n old when she's white n young. I keep thinking about it, maybe I'm too jealous. He did say today when I brought it up "all I can say is sorry" n it was a big step to admit to his counselor..but yesterday he talked about how talking gets u know where n he had to hit his ex wife to get his point across. I said hitting is wrong..,"so it's okay for her to do...".. I didn't know he went to jail4 hitting her 4 times..He said he signed his divorce papers in 2015, n I said "I thought it ended in 2005" "oh yea that's when I was in jail".. smfh. He has hit me n shoved me to the ground n threatened to throw me down the stairs, but I'm trying to b a victim. He thinking hitting is okay..fighting to him is when u hit someone not arguing. Arguing n yelling is "debating" Everyday I replay over & over in my head his lies n it's eating at me. I barely can function ( sounds crazy but true)..n get depressed n barely wanna talk to him. Like I said I am jealous so I overthink too. Idk sigh
You can tell they're lying cause their mouths and lips are moving