As a dad who has been there I can confirm that it is an unimaginable amount a pain that we men go through as well when we lose a child. However I can also say that it is possible to stay faithful and not to use that pain and suffering as an excuse to step out on your marriage
This is the same guy who has his ex-girlfriend placed in the wedding party, and later got her pregnant. Not sure if he was even that invested in the marriage let alone the pregnancy.
@@michaelmarsh3056 a mistake is a mishap. Like oops I made a mistake and added too much sugar to my coffee. No one makes a mistake and slip on a penis or into a vagina. It’s a decision that starts with an attraction, that leads to a text or a phone call, that leads to a date, that leads to the bed.
@@michaelmarsh3056 Whether mistakes/ decision/ regret/remorse , i couldn't care . I am done. That decision/ mistake can hurt you in more ways than you can imagine. However, i more fear PHYSICALLY
@@sophiasmith5949 She clearly said that when they were going through the divorce, he told her this. Were we not watching the same video? If she were lying, he'd probably come out & say that bc he's spoken out about other things before.
I love that she said ‘I was in a place I could hear’. To hear someone is to accept their truth no matter how flawed it may seem to you. No prejudice but hear. She never said she accepted it but acknowledge his truth.
from a dad who was in the exact same spot, no he couldnt. i couldn't add to my wife's load, when i was the one who had to take the load the best i could for both of us. years later somewhat, but not then.
@saeedhossain6099 right. she was a woman who just miscarried and he was supposed to rely solely on her to console him? it's not a realistic expectation. BTW, statistically most couples who lose a child split
Here's the thing: There is always a failure to turn to your partner. That's where the communication needs to be. Instead people turn to an outsider and talk, talk, talk and cheat. That's a deliberate choice.
This is so true. When my son died everyone was worried or concerned for me and my well being but my husband felt this same way and he expressed it to me. He said it was like nobody acknowledged him at all.
@@J.C.1I agree, but not every husband cheats🤷🏾♂️. Husbands are like ghost, they acknowledge the woman because she's a woman. Everyone expects men to be robots, forgetting the fact that men are just as human as the day long.
i hate to say this, but one of the biggest revelations i've come to as a man is that men don't actually care much about other men. no one rallied around him...well, where was his best friend? his brothers? dad/mentor?
Exactly.. he used sex as his drug to deaden the pain. He should've done the adult thing and communicated with his wife and/or asked to speak to a therapist. This is how toxic masculinity is keeping men emotionally stunted and causing them to hurt the people who love them.. whether it's domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse or cheating.. an emotionally stunted person will hurt you over and over because life happens and they don't know how to deal.
@@sharpaycutie2 it is people like you. It’s was about selfishness. He felt entitled to cheat! Why didn’t he seek counseling first??? Then he should’ve suggested counseling to save they’re marriage. Then he could’ve used that excuse.
Sounds like he's taken accountability now. I think it's big of her to acknowledge him like that even though he wasn't right for what he's done. Point being, Forgiveness and Grace should never be off the table. 💯
All I have to say is whether man or woman, why would you be so selfish to put your significant other through a cheating scandal while they're also going through the grief of losing a child just like you. There's no excuse when communication or therapy was an option.
He had nobody? So he fell over in some 🥑...telling her how hurt you were? So you went outside the rally made up of "everybody" to get a rally from ONE peron at a time? Nobody to talk to? There are doctors & counselors & support groups to talk to. Sooooo, was the bih your psychiatrist? No? Ok then she wasn't qualified to guide you through grief. Call it, shall we? BS excuse He should have stood so extremely close to Sherry that he was rallied around by default.
I can only assume u didn't hear a word she said... I've read similar comments over 100 times on this board so far & ALL it illustrates to me is that it's YOU ALL who are the selfish ones. You're all projecting ur feelings & all repeating this notion that Sherri lost a child by herself. You ALL are speaking from a singular perspective when she literally said. "People are incorrect in thinking the father isn't just as connected to that being just bc he isn't physically carrying it". She literally said that...& here u go w/ this goofy comment as if its not on loop in this short....smh. Who really is the selfish/solipsitic/narcissistic one?? Who? Bc every man i know lives & breathes for his FAMILY...undergoes tremendous stress & anxiety over wvery aspect of their existance.....DAILY. Is willing to die for them whether in the midst of a conflict or if he has to work himself to death to ensure thwir survival. But u make statements up here like u know wut its like to be in his shoes...in his heart & head. Sherri was his wife & didn't understand the depth of his pain.....but u do?? Ur qualified to speak on whats an acceptable response to that mans pain & grief...smh is all i can do for you all. ..truly miserbal people.
We lost our son in 2021, “my only child” people were there for me more. But being the Man His Dad is and after losing Our Son and him knowing the pain I was in He wouldn’t do that, but I did see how it made him feel when my family was there more, so it made him question the loyalty of his family.
@@AfroMillennialMomma I’ve experienced a close call with my wife. I definitely tip my hat off to all the moms. Child birth is no joke. It’s also true that men’s feelings are ignored and we’re told to suck it up. It’s no reason to cheat at all. He chose that as an outlet.
@Ace I agree. My response was to the original commenter. I am pregnant now, and I miscarried over 2 years ago, and my husband is still affected by it. I was mentally affected for maybe 6-8 months, and then I was fine. It wasn't until I got pregnant again that he showed signs of PTSD, treating me with kid gloves paranoid about every move I make affecting this pregnancy. I remembered him crying back when it happened, which I've only seen him do 3 tinmes in 13 years, I had no idea it affected to this day.
Thank God my mom was there not only for me but my husband during our time of grief when we lost our first baby. I was in a tunnel by myself and didn't see my husband. My mom saw us both. God, you know. Thank you.🙌🏾
@dtez20 I rather you tell me if you're not happy we can work on it and if that fails then you could just leave me be single and sleep with whoever you want
@@DJonesHomesxactly 💯. I Always Say; There's A Cause & Effect To Everything...., And Then There's Consequence's & Repercussions But All , Don't Own Up To Accountability 🤨
Facts! He should of spoke to his wife and console each other. She lost a child and her husband. Losing a child can either make or break a marriage/relationship.
Actually he appears to be admitting to cheating but giving the reason he did. The problem with us as humans is that we like to dismiss the feelings of others. I don’t see it as an excuse I see it as his reason, not that it was right to cheat. But we need to stop dismissing the feelings of others.
I can relate. My husband and I lost our son unexpectedly during a traumatic full term delivery 3 years ago. Im grateful that my grandmother gave us the advice "dont lose eachother". Then she instructed the entire family to check up on him, too. It was so helpful. We've gotten through and now have a new little one. My heart goes out to her and her formed husband.
That's a powerful statement your grandmother gave you instructions to overcome. A lesson to all about the power of the elder teach the younger hkw to be wives and mothers.
I agree that cheaters have a choice not to cheat. I also recognize that when people experience loss or tragedy, they're often at their lowest point in life, during which making the best decisions is difficult. Some people do things they normally wouldn't - drugs, violence, excessive alcohol, and other forms of self-harm. I'm glad Sherry was in a place to hear him, and in hindsight can acknowledge his pain. It's not an excuse for cheating, but it gives her some context as to what lead to it.
If that was the woman sayimg what the man his saying u women would be cuddling telling her it's not her fault right 😂😂😂😂 u women are such hypocrites 😂😂😂😂
I'm going to assume you have NEVER been in a loss of pregnancy situation. Communicating with the woman is like being in a boat with a hole in it that's sinking and you are trying to have a meaningful conversation with the boat. He wanted to be heard. Someone paid attention. (first hand experience, lost twins at 6 months)
It was obviously a reason for HIM at that time, no matter how hurtful or misguided. A reason and an excuse are two different things. He just gave perspective to where he was at emotionally at the time, which hopefully brought them both some healing. And they're still divorced.
That husband is low down maingy mongrel for using his chid's death to gaslight his wife and excuse his cheating behind. Lady, stop letting that man play you 🤦🏾♀️
@@shan2795if he did have a sex addiction, then he'd use ANY excuse to cheat, so then he's not really marriage material or ready for the responsibilities of a husband role. He should have never sought love with a traditional woman. Seeking love with a traditional woman and knowing you have a sex addiction is just cruel and narcissitc because you know you can't stop easily. Addiction issues would likely continue, so the cheating would continue. For example, he has a rough day at work, he cheats, his toast came out too dark, he cheats etc.. Sex addicts cheat for pretty much any reason.
Sherri, NO! This guy was mad that you were being supported in your pain instead of offering his own support as a loving husband would??? Your friends cared for you more than your husband? Sad. He cheated cause he was a horrible, uncaring, selfish husband who chose to make his cheating YOUR fault.
@@antoinycemathisso it's ok to cheat everytime you're in pain? Absolutely not. He didn't do it because he was in pain, he did it out of jealousy. He had so many options and still chose sec! And yes he felt the pain too but keep in mind the child was unborn meaning she was physically attached to the baby and lost it that is not only painful but a severe mental struggle to come back from
@S it's NEVER okay to cheat... EVER! My message was not to excuse his cheating at all (I would never excuse that behavior). I was simply saying that people often disregard men in these types of situations (case in point, people are STILL disregarding his feelings now lol). I don't need to argue about why her husband chose to cheat. We ALL know he was wrong... he knows that also (hopefully 🤷🏾♀️). He was expressing the depths of what he was going through during a time he couldn't express it. Obviously, he chose the dumbest, most selfish way to express it, but that doesn't change the fact that he acted out of pain. Two things can be true at the same time.
I agree. She was not in that pregnancy alone and I’m sure he had feelings about what they were going through at the time. It’s like this a lot of times in a marriage where the attention goes to one person it when everyone leaves who is really standing there with you.
She may not be telling the whole story also. She may have stop having sex with him. That’s just one part of the story. I am pretty sure a lot of factors lead up to the divorce.
@@llman03it’s true, we know only one facet of the story rn, but please don’t use “she stopped having sex with him” as an excuse for seeking sex with another person. It’s bullshit.
@@littman.benji__8761 you’re a cheater right. A real men with morals, values and dignity don’t break the heart of his women , remember you have a mother and wouldn’t like that you father will cheat on her right ?!
Such a foolish statement....i'm willing to bet u want her to be alone & miserable like u. How dreadful. ..They literally have another child in the equation. Smh...jesus
@@iamrysheemwhat an asshole statement to make!!! She failed the marriage? SHE?!!! So him cheating on her in a time where she was extremely vulnerable after losing a child it's her fault? Wow that's disgusting
@@linkinlady06 all i hear is excuses. If i got cheated on i’d consider it my fault for picking that h@3. If i married someone I had to divorce because of their character i’d question and blame my discernment skills. If i had to do it twice even more. Its called accountability and adulthood and yes in this weak ass world of people who lack it. It also makes you an asshole when said out loud. All yall women butthurt but even she had to realize she had to take ownership for her choices. Which is what she’s stating in this video.
He could have spoke to her about his feelings. She was his wife. Men bottle things up, you practically have to beg them to speak up. It's not fair to his wife that he didn't speak up and chose to cheat.
I understand her husband pain. That's no excuse to cheat but I went through the same. As a man a lot of times when something like that happens to you, we don't have outlets the way women do. My ex fiancee had a miscarriage, I was severely depressed for 2 years and I didn't know how to communicate that to my partner at the time. Which lead to the deterioration of our relationship. I think instead of judge her husband we should all learn from this. We all have different responses to trauma.
I definitely agree. People process and respond differently. I think people don't try to understand what a man thinks or feels enough. They aren't even taught how to express themselves from a child and up. God bless.
@@tashad2201 thats true i used to ask my ex bf how he felt when I was depressed and noticed he started to be as well but he would always say that he's fine and how men shouldn't cry and I tried to tell him like wont think of u as less of a man for needing a shoulder to cry on. i still pray for him hopefully he finds his safe space.
I understand that. When I lost my 3rd baby folks were surrounding and comforting me. My then husband said but that was my baby too I lost! Wow! All I could do was hold him and told him to cry it out!
@@elishuaboles8698Of course you hurt but let’s not be disingenuous here you are not going through the same thing as your wife - it was EMOTIONAL for you both however add on PHYSICAL for her and all those hormones that attach us to our babies running through our body. Everyone is supposed to rally around the human that had the actual physical lost!! I can’t imagine my partner being so selfish! He’s mature enough to open his mouth and speak to his parents & friends to assist him if need be but to look at everyone rallying around me and have the AUDACITY!!!! To think he somehow needs that too is TOXIC. I have lost my pregnancy before and my partner was too busy holding on to me the whole time he was getting them hugs too! I can’t begin to imagine him sitting thinking oh Im not getting enough attention!! I guess we come from foreign families so masculinity runs high in our culture to be a protector & provider!
The problem here is that he didn't talk about his feelings to his wife. He talked about his feelings with another woman creating the perfect environment for cheating to occur, or at least that's how I'm assuming it went down. Communication is key in a healthy marriage. If your wife is having a rough go of things, then talk to a counsellor, even better, go to grief counselling together.
why when a man is not making a women happy the first course of action is to call him a child. its called going for the jugular...his ego...his manhood...his power.....NOT NICE
Did you know some men will delete themselves after losing a child? If you lost a child and no one consoled you, how would you feel if a man came along and just loved on you because he seen you was going through it. Would it make you feel better?
@@PD-qu8dqlol what if a man consoled that man that lost a child? Would that man sleep with him because that’s the only one who comfort him at the time?
It's not a reason to cheat but this is so true. A man feels the severe pain of losing his unborn baby. My coworker lost his baby many years ago but he still teared up when he talks about the death of his unborn child.
@@lovelykiyah7415 yes, he's with the mother of his dead child but he has another child from the same woman. Their daughter is in college now and the one that died was a boy
Talk to ya wife..bond with ya wife..Talk to a therapist. Talk to a pastor..get yoself a mentor..Talk to a coach..Talk to a counselor..talk to God..there are peiple who get paid to listen..there are people out here who get paid to give hugs...where are yo homeboys at?? Theyre not really yo friends if they weren't giving u the support u needed. No excuses..there's absolutely no reason good enough to cheat. He cheated cause he wanted to..bottomline.
Neither of you know that man and or his life or situation. U litererally heard this woman explain the depth of pain they experienced....but somehow, u two know better. Crhist almighty, i swear u get wut u deserve in this life....next time just say u didn't hear a word she said.
@@jafarmartin we heard exactly what she said. I completely understand his pain, more than you probably know, but let me ask you something, did she cheat?? And before you say no because she had support and he didn't, think about this, yes he lost his unborn child an my god the pain of that loss can be unbearable. However, she was pregnant and lost of physical part of her body and then still had to find the strength to continue that pregnancy. I don't think most people understand the mental and literal struggle a woman's body goes through after losing an unborn child, it can bring you to the point of thinking bad about yourself and that you will be a horrible mother, that is why they supported her so much. She needed that strength to bring his other child into the world healthy and full term, depression alone can cause a miscarriage. His love for her and the child they didn't loose should have kicked in and been more of a support for her. That's not to say he shouldn't have been in pain but sometimes you have to be the strong one first and then when the battle is over sulk in your pain. If we all stop doing what we are supposed to because of pain then this would be a messed up society. So @buttaflygirl105 is right he had many options and knew what the outcome of cheating would be and how much it would hurt his wife and he still did it with all the options to talk to friends, family, pastors, therapist, etc.!
@@jafarmartin I don't have to know "that man" to know he was wrong for cheating on his wife and of he had emotional trauma from the loss then he needed to express it in a different more healthy way. I don't have to know him to know him cheating was a detriment to his marriage and if ur willing to risk that then u don't deserve to be married. Bc u don't value u, ur partner, covenants and ur word don't mean ish.
Not true, not justifying anyones actions… but, on a realistic scope…people have trauma from childhood, beliefs, parents and early relationships. If people don’t work through the trauma they will cheat. Now, it’s up to the other person to choose if they want to understand the psychology behind it and give their cheating partner a chance to heal themselves and the relationship or to cut it off completely. If the person does not work through their issues and past trauma they will be on the edge about their self worth and continue looking for validation outside of the relationship and cheat again. Sometimes some emotional or mental needs are not being met. Nothing is ever so black and white.
And she accepted that explanation? Wow, that's the biggest crock of schitt if there ever was one. Dude cheated, and gave Sherri that b.s. sad sob, feel-sorry-for-me explanation, and she swallowed it. Narcissistic gaslighting: "I cheated but it wasn't my fault. The people made me do it."--Fraudrick Douglass. Lol
@@muffy9215 in her retelling of it on this video. She wanted to believe it. She made herself believe it. He told her after the relationship ended. It made her feel better. Gaslighting pure and simple.
Her husband was saying infidelity on his part, and sharing with her how he felt when they lost the other twin to Jeffery her son. Sherri is a very smart woman and she is not taking blame for his infidelity. But closure after a divorce is healthy. Because they are still parents to Jeffery. Good for them. Be blessed.
He could've talked to her & they could've bonded. He was jealous of that woman for an entirely different reason. These excuses are just that & I want BW to stop accepting fault, blame & responsibility for men's F ups. We are not responsible for other people's emotions. He could have used his words with Miss Sheri & they could've consoled each other!
men are constantely responcible for womens emotions.....women f-up too. men have hearts and feelings and all women care abnout is their own emotions....and how a man can lift and pull and push stuff all day. ....stop......how bout that.......stop. he used his words. listen to what she said he said. cant you imagine talking to your child and rubbing that belly and losing thaty child....balance.....he messed up...he still matter.
Yes, he thought of himself because no one else did. Men feel pain, may not be labor pain as in giving birth but a pain we as women can’t comprehend. We don’t know everything about a mans mind, heart and actions.
@@stephaniepalmer1926 men cheat for sex not because they lost a baby lol. I call bullshit. Men aren’t usually emotional cheaters women are…and if they are maybe a gay man.
@@stephaniepalmer1926yes men feel pain too! He cheated out of jealousy because she was getting more attention due to the loss, not because he was hurting. Cheating is wrong, man or woman! Both can walk away. He knew what the outcome of his actions would be and still did it, not because he was in pain but because he was jealous and he wanted to!
I would like to make a comment. I have lost 2 children, and I never cheated on my children's mother, even though it was hard for me, not once I ever thought about stepping out.
Look how he tried to flip that 💩. That was an insult to Sheri’s intelligence. Blame shifting. Using a loss of a child to validate his cheating. Super disgusting!!!!!
@@cammiosisempathy does not mean sympathy and neither one of them excuses the accountability... They got divorced, and still not together. That's called understanding something although you don't agree with it.
Ms. Sherri you have such a kind and forgiving heart. There are so many couples that go through heartache and loss of a child. It is Not an excuse or reason to cheat. You should have been able to turn to each other for that love and support that you both so desperately needed. He should've been the first one to be there to "rally" around you and you could've rallied around him in return. I get that men hurt and need support in times of loss and grief, especially when it comes to a child. What he needed to understand is that you as the mom and the one carrying the babies is that you feel the loss not just mentally but physically and plus you needed to stay strong for the surviving baby. Instead of that feeling of being left out he should have been present for you and your baby. I applaud you and your strength. Take Care and God Bless. 💞🙏🏽💕
You could've saved some time writing all of that & just said...I didn't hear a word she said". That way our time reading that silly sh*t would be preserved.
@@jafarmartin Thanks so much for your feedback and thanks for taking the time to read what I wrote. I really appreciate it. I enjoyed writing this. Stay safe. 😁👍🏼
I’ve been here Sherri with my now deceased husband. He knew A LOT of people and after his stroke n 2016 leaving me to take care of him. NOBODY notice me or asked how I was doing? I could’ve cheated but it wasn’t an option only a TEST!
@@shan7180 no, you are mistaken. He was talking directly to her, and he made up some bullshit. Women cheat emotionally. Men cheat physically. He cheated because he had the opportunity to sleep with someone more attractive than her. It’s that simple.
She explained what her ex-husband said, not all men. Not to mention she didn't stay with him. Idk if they divorced bc of his infidelity, or if she found out later but they did. A result of her healing and growth, or not, she moved on and eventually was able to hear him out truth or not. At the end of the day no sweat of my back if he was gaslighting her, as so many ppl like to say, or not. She shared a story whether we understand, like it or not! Life goes on and Sherri isn't a part of mine or yours. Ijs
I remember having a deep conversation with a friend one day, then realizing my son, who was 2 at the time, was strangely quiet in the other room. When I went to check on him, he had poured out my makeup and was sitting in it. The look on his face said “I know exactly what I’m doing”. My mother wit kicked in and told me that he internalized that I was talking about him and he didn’t like it, but didn’t have the language at 2 to express himself. When I hear stories like Sherri’s… “I put my 🍆 in another 🕳️ in the midst of losing our child bc no one prayed for me like they prayed for you and the baby”…. It hurts me to think that there are adults who behave like 2 year olds that don’t know how to express themselves… so they choose destruction as a form of expression. In the end, everyone loses.
Thats ur way of looking at it. Honestly the fact that no one came to that man and said anything about him losing a child says alot. I would have just left them all alone. If women only knew how many men actually feel this way. I picked a man up at a strip club as an uber driver and he was drunk as hell talking about he wanted his wife to pay attention to him. If men were not expected to be strong and endure it alot more women would be single. They do not listen. Most men i know genuinely do not like their mate. They only stay out of a sense of responsibility but are not happy. I dont condone cheating. I woulda just left to be honest.
@@CHambricTooReal yes. Yes. The vows are in sickness and health. They are both supposed to be there for each other. I will point out this way of thinking led to a divorce. Its always going to be something women come up with the children, work, stress. None of those things excuse you from being a good wife. The same way he’s not excused from being a bad husband. This woman saying she finally heard him was her taking accountability for her part not his.
@@jamillahwatkins2168 What he did is obvious. No one said he’s not at all responsible for the dissolution of their marriage. The thing I keep pointing out seemingly to women on here is if it effects your life you have to take responsibility for it. This woman could go around blaming him forever. What’s learned? If I walk down a dark alley and get robbed I didn’t rob myself but if I don’t say i shouldn’t have walked down that alley I’m likely to get robbed again. He robbed me. I still have to take accountability for my actions on how the parts played out. She is voicing accountability. This weak ass world would call it victim blaming. Actual adults see it as a necessary part of adulthood. It may be hard to hear but if you get married your emotional or physical state never completely override your partners. No matter what it is. When two become one both have to at all time be considerate. The problem is so many women seem to think 1 men shouldn’t have emotions and 2 theirs supersede their partners. That is not the foundations of a healthy relationship. With anybody. He was wrong. We know. That doesn’t mean she was right. Thinking like that make a relationship a competition and not a partnership.
HE HAD YOU!!!! He should be there for you!!! I’ve lost a Baby too but my Husband was there for me. It’s different when that living child dies and you’ve carried that living heartbeat!!!
@@DPeezy3158 What more could you expect from her exactly? The father is indeed important, but let's be real. He will NEVER physically and mentally know what it feels like to go through the changes and still lose the baby.
@@LetGoStressFree that comment is exactly why he cheated. It’s not just her baby. ITS THEIRS!! He’ll never understand physically but he can understand mentally because he lost his child too. They possibly could have healed from that trauma together. However the man didn’t lose anything though, right. SMH
Love you sis every time I see you I get a ray of light and a. HUG SMILE EVEN YOUR JUST SPEAKING IM FULLFILLED WITH JOY LAUGHTER. KPL” keep pushing lifestyle “!!!!! LOVING IT FAMILY 😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ MY SIS PROUD OF YOU SUCH A GLEAM OF. JOYFUL SMILES HAPPINESS 😊😊😊❤❤❤
His pain does not excuse his actions. He made a choice to cheat on her. He could have talked to her about how he was feeling. I am sorry that both of them had to deal with the loss of their daughter. We love you Sherri. ALWAYS!!
Thats the problem with shared trauma, often time one dont want to share or put more burden on the other in fear of feeling selfish. In this case, do you know if ever anyone including his wife stopped and asked how he was doing.. Its natural for society to assume the mother needs the support because she is the one that carries the child/children but as fathers how do we wave a flag asking what about me when those around dont think you are affected. While i dont think cheating is right but its not always because someone just want sex its also emotional connection and recharge... So if in that moment if you not getting at home people not matter what gender is going out to get it.
Yea but Sherri was also working a lot. Probably had tons of friends over comforting her, that she didn’t even think to comfort her husband. Yea he could have asked, but she could have voluntarily reached out to him too. You do understand that men statistically and historically are not vocal about their feelings. GOD made them that way for a reason.
Sherri has such a great support system, and that was intentional. She's a best friend to so many people. Sherri suffered a major loss. She is support of many, and she reaped ALL of that .
Her husband cheated because he wanted too. It’s as simple as that. Comforting a man after losing a child will not stop him from cheating, if he wants too.
This is so true. It also happens to children. When an adult relative dies everyone gravitates to the adults. Children also carry that same pain of loss, but no one sees or hears their pain.
So true. My mom died when I was 10. Extended family was there, but they always asked my dad how we were coping, versus actually talking to me. It definitely left a void in me still very present today.🤷🏽♀️
THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING, ITS A SELFISH DECISION.😳 SHE CARRIED THE TWINS…WHY NOT TALK TO A THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEMBER?? WE LIVE IN A SELFISH WORLD AND FOLKS DO NOT WANT TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY. I FIND HIS BEHAVIOR ABHORRENT. WOMEN, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR A PASS, BECAUSE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.😳
People cheat because they see sumthin they desire and believe its ok to get it at any and all cost. It will eventually cost money, time, relationships, integrity and yo life in some cases!
I’m so glad she got the closure it seems like she needed regarding the end of her marriage. As hurtful as it is, I’m sure she needed to make peace with it in some way.
Still no reason to cheat Sherri. He could have shared that with you. You all could have grieved together. Maybe people didn't reach out to him because he appeared standoffish.
@Margeaux Jenkins What lowlife cheats on a woman who just lost a baby? Bad enough that he cheats when she is carrying his child. Sherri and women like her need to stop rationalizing s_h_i_t_t_y azz behavior. Man says, "Boo hoo, no one consoled me when we lost the baby. So, instead of being honest with my feelings to my wife or my best friend or our doctor or my pastor or God, I am going to sleep along with other women. Yeah, boo hoo, that's the solution." Give me a break. How convenient to gaslight her with that lame excuse.
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Deborah picture Deborah Feldman
As a dad who has been there I can confirm that it is an unimaginable amount a pain that we men go through as well when we lose a child. However I can also say that it is possible to stay faithful and not to use that pain and suffering as an excuse to step out on your marriage
Thank you.
This is the same guy who has his ex-girlfriend placed in the wedding party, and later got her pregnant. Not sure if he was even that invested in the marriage let alone the pregnancy.
My brother buried 3adult children he didn't cheat on his wife...then his wife died...then my brother died..so that is just excuses
Thank you
@@may8043damnnnnn I didn't know that...that's fkd up
Cheating is never a mistake; it's a decision. It's that simple.
Isn't a mistake a decision that you regret?
@@michaelmarsh3056 a mistake is a mishap. Like oops I made a mistake and added too much sugar to my coffee.
No one makes a mistake and slip on a penis or into a vagina.
It’s a decision that starts with an attraction, that leads to a text or a phone call, that leads to a date, that leads to the bed.
While people don’t understand these yet they come up their opinion with no understanding of what the actual the person is saying?
@@michaelmarsh3056 Whether mistakes/ decision/ regret/remorse , i couldn't care . I am done. That decision/ mistake can hurt you in more ways than you can imagine. However, i more fear PHYSICALLY
@@michaelmarsh3056 Right
She's not making excuses..she never said that..I feel she is just expressing his state of mind in his grief.. of loosing a child.
losing
Exactly. They still got divorced, she was just open to understanding his mind state at the time.
so cheating is the remedy? oh... ok like she not suffering a lost while still pregnant. bullshit
She can't express his state of mind only he can. This is clearly hearsay and should be taken with a grain of salt.
@@sophiasmith5949 She clearly said that when they were going through the divorce, he told her this. Were we not watching the same video? If she were lying, he'd probably come out & say that bc he's spoken out about other things before.
Yeah you talk to your wife then, not another woman. Key word, Then!! Communication is everything
This! Instead of stepping out
My exact thought
My ex rarely expressed himself & actually married the other woman.
He's blocked & will never complain to me about her - ever 🎉
I love that she said ‘I was in a place I could hear’. To hear someone is to accept their truth no matter how flawed it may seem to you. No prejudice but hear. She never said she accepted it but acknowledge his truth.
Your right I didn’t notice or hear that part which is the most important part, she heard and acknowledged. Thank you
Truth and experience are not the same thing. Confusing these two words has not done us any favors in our culture.
Real grown of her to acknowledge that it took getting to that place to be able to hear that from him.
Instrumental
Thank you!!!
He could have talked to YOU. You could have consoled each other.
That's what I was thinking 🤔
You didn't hear her?? She said I WASNT LISTENING!!! damn women don't pay attention well
from a dad who was in the exact same spot, no he couldnt. i couldn't add to my wife's load, when i was the one who had to take the load the best i could for both of us. years later somewhat, but not then.
Just don't call it a mistake, it's a selfish choice
@saeedhossain6099 right. she was a woman who just miscarried and he was supposed to rely solely on her to console him? it's not a realistic expectation.
BTW, statistically most couples who lose a child split
Here's the thing: There is always a failure to turn to your partner. That's where the communication needs to be. Instead people turn to an outsider and talk, talk, talk and cheat. That's a deliberate choice.
💯
Facts..its cost hin his marriage
FO SHO!!!!
😂😂😂Talk talk talk and CHEAT 😂
Soooo, he had no friends and family of his own. Interesting.
This is so true. When my son died everyone was worried or concerned for me and my well being but my husband felt this same way and he expressed it to me. He said it was like nobody acknowledged him at all.
No excuse to cheat on her
@@J.C.1I agree, but not every husband cheats🤷🏾♂️. Husbands are like ghost, they acknowledge the woman because she's a woman. Everyone expects men to be robots, forgetting the fact that men are just as human as the day long.
@@J.C.1 did she say it was an excuse? she also said this was when they were divorcing. like use critical thinking …
Did he cheat?
i hate to say this, but one of the biggest revelations i've come to as a man is that men don't actually care much about other men. no one rallied around him...well, where was his best friend? his brothers? dad/mentor?
I believe what he said. However, it was his ego and selfishness too
THEN YOU'RE JUST AS STUPID & IGNORANT WHAT DOES THAT GAVE TO DO W/ HIS ASSSS CHEATING PUTTING HIS 🍆 ELSEWHERE....SMDH @ THE IGNORANCE & BS
Exactly.. he used sex as his drug to deaden the pain. He should've done the adult thing and communicated with his wife and/or asked to speak to a therapist. This is how toxic masculinity is keeping men emotionally stunted and causing them to hurt the people who love them.. whether it's domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse or cheating.. an emotionally stunted person will hurt you over and over because life happens and they don't know how to deal.
Yes. Lessons he should learn from, and hopefully has
How you gonna tell him what his reason was? 🤨
@@sharpaycutie2 it is people like you. It’s was about selfishness. He felt entitled to cheat! Why didn’t he seek counseling first??? Then he should’ve suggested counseling to save they’re marriage. Then he could’ve used that excuse.
It's a lack of accountability. Not an excuse to cheat.
It's just what happens!!
Sounds like he's taken accountability now. I think it's big of her to acknowledge him like that even though he wasn't right for what he's done. Point being, Forgiveness and Grace should never be off the table. 💯
He is accountable he is speaking in the state of mind he was in. She never said he said that is the reason why, that was the mind set he was in
You are so right.
I think he was just telling her how he felt. Not making an excuse
All I have to say is whether man or woman, why would you be so selfish to put your significant other through a cheating scandal while they're also going through the grief of losing a child just like you. There's no excuse when communication or therapy was an option.
Shocks me too
It’s selfishness pure and simple. Just talk to your spouse or a therapist 🤷🏾♀️
He had nobody? So he fell over in some 🥑...telling her how hurt you were? So you went outside the rally made up of "everybody" to get a rally from ONE peron at a time?
Nobody to talk to? There are doctors & counselors & support groups to talk to. Sooooo, was the bih your psychiatrist? No? Ok then she wasn't qualified to guide you through grief.
Call it, shall we? BS excuse
He should have stood so extremely close to Sherry that he was rallied around by default.
I can only assume u didn't hear a word she said... I've read similar comments over 100 times on this board so far & ALL it illustrates to me is that it's YOU ALL who are the selfish ones. You're all projecting ur feelings & all repeating this notion that Sherri lost a child by herself. You ALL are speaking from a singular perspective when she literally said. "People are incorrect in thinking the father isn't just as connected to that being just bc he isn't physically carrying it". She literally said that...& here u go w/ this goofy comment as if its not on loop in this short....smh. Who really is the selfish/solipsitic/narcissistic one?? Who? Bc every man i know lives & breathes for his FAMILY...undergoes tremendous stress & anxiety over wvery aspect of their existance.....DAILY. Is willing to die for them whether in the midst of a conflict or if he has to work himself to death to ensure thwir survival. But u make statements up here like u know wut its like to be in his shoes...in his heart & head. Sherri was his wife & didn't understand the depth of his pain.....but u do?? Ur qualified to speak on whats an acceptable response to that mans pain & grief...smh is all i can do for you all. ..truly miserbal people.
@@jafarmartin stop being emotional
As a mother who has lost a child, every time my husband asked how I was, I asked him how HE was. It's his child too.
I totally agree with Sherri. Fathers need that support as well. Although, no excuse to cheat
My thoughts exactly.
Well said!! Your absolutely right!! 💯
We lost our son in 2021, “my only child” people were there for me more. But being the Man His Dad is and after losing Our Son and him knowing the pain I was in He wouldn’t do that, but I did see how it made him feel when my family was there more, so it made him question the loyalty of his family.
"I was in a place where I could hear, what he says." Everyone wants to be heard. Doesn't excuse the behavior.
Exactly...listening is a powerful part of healing
He is a grown man and could have spoke to someone about his feelings. There's no excuse for cheating.
A lot people ignore men and their feelings. Yes he could’ve talked but who would’ve listened. ESP if he wanted it from his spouse.
You must have not experienced pregnancy loss or seen how it affects a man up close
@@AfroMillennialMomma I’ve experienced a close call with my wife. I definitely tip my hat off to all the moms. Child birth is no joke. It’s also true that men’s feelings are ignored and we’re told to suck it up. It’s no reason to cheat at all. He chose that as an outlet.
@Ace I agree. My response was to the original commenter. I am pregnant now, and I miscarried over 2 years ago, and my husband is still affected by it. I was mentally affected for maybe 6-8 months, and then I was fine. It wasn't until I got pregnant again that he showed signs of PTSD, treating me with kid gloves paranoid about every move I make affecting this pregnancy. I remembered him crying back when it happened, which I've only seen him do 3 tinmes in 13 years, I had no idea it affected to this day.
@@acedagod88 a paid therapist would've listened and guided him through those emotions
Thank God my mom was there not only for me but my husband during our time of grief when we lost our first baby. I was in a tunnel by myself and didn't see my husband. My mom saw us both. God, you know. Thank you.🙌🏾
Yes your mother understands it takes 2 to create life. She is a great woman
Their should never be an excuse to cheat but she took that as closure people cheat because they want to
There is a cause to everything, even your desire to even want to has a reason.
@dtez20 I rather you tell me if you're not happy we can work on it and if that fails then you could just leave me be single and sleep with whoever you want
There are reasons and there are excuses...the reason was baby loss/grief...."being unrallied around" is not an excuse for cheating.
@@DJonesHomesxactly 💯. I Always Say; There's A Cause & Effect To Everything...., And Then There's Consequence's & Repercussions
But All , Don't Own Up To Accountability 🤨
EXACTLY RIGHT ✅️ A COP OUT ... APPLES & ORANGES
No excuse. He cheated because he wanted to and he could.
Yep
Boohoo..Nice try.
Facts! He should of spoke to his wife and console each other. She lost a child and her husband. Losing a child can either make or break a marriage/relationship.
Actually he appears to be admitting to cheating but giving the reason he did. The problem with us as humans is that we like to dismiss the feelings of others. I don’t see it as an excuse I see it as his reason, not that it was right to cheat. But we need to stop dismissing the feelings of others.
@@latulipe1220❤
I can relate. My husband and I lost our son unexpectedly during a traumatic full term delivery 3 years ago. Im grateful that my grandmother gave us the advice "dont lose eachother". Then she instructed the entire family to check up on him, too. It was so helpful. We've gotten through and now have a new little one. My heart goes out to her and her formed husband.
Great testimony. An elder pouring into the family is a gift from God
That's a powerful statement your grandmother gave you instructions to overcome. A lesson to all about the power of the elder teach the younger hkw to be wives and mothers.
I am so sorry you both went through that!
I agree that cheaters have a choice not to cheat. I also recognize that when people experience loss or tragedy, they're often at their lowest point in life, during which making the best decisions is difficult. Some people do things they normally wouldn't - drugs, violence, excessive alcohol, and other forms of self-harm. I'm glad Sherry was in a place to hear him, and in hindsight can acknowledge his pain. It's not an excuse for cheating, but it gives her some context as to what lead to it.
Sir!!! No excuses. If you cheat you cheat
Zero excuses were given... He gave a reason for his actions wether it's valued or not, is something totally different.
Sure sounds like an excuse to me!
If that was the woman sayimg what the man his saying u women would be cuddling telling her it's not her fault right 😂😂😂😂 u women are such hypocrites 😂😂😂😂
I agree!!!
@@ovincent35 exactly lol
Grief breaks up marriages.
And also bring them back
Cheating breaks up marriages.
Lack of communication breaks up marriages
Grief is the loss of anything not just death. So love, communication, loyalty, respect, feelings can all be losses.
And so does poking other people other than your spouse. Just saying 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄.
That’s NOT a reason to cheat! There’s no reason to cheat, really. Communicate with one another. He cheated because he wanted to.
I'm going to assume you have NEVER been in a loss of pregnancy situation. Communicating with the woman is like being in a boat with a hole in it that's sinking and you are trying to have a meaningful conversation with the boat. He wanted to be heard. Someone paid attention. (first hand experience, lost twins at 6 months)
@@sknkwrksowner I’m guessing you cheated
It was obviously a reason for HIM at that time, no matter how hurtful or misguided.
A reason and an excuse are two different things. He just gave perspective to where he was at emotionally at the time, which hopefully brought them both some healing. And they're still divorced.
That husband is low down maingy mongrel for using his chid's death to gaslight his wife and excuse his cheating behind. Lady, stop letting that man play you 🤦🏾♀️
I had no idea she is so gulable, poor woman. Many women believe nonsense men serve them 😢 One day she'll wake up and see him for who he is
It's very possible it was his way of coping. Some people abuse drugs, alcohol, food, and sex. Not excusing his infidelity, but understanding the why.
Exactly
@@shan2795if he did have a sex addiction, then he'd use ANY excuse to cheat, so then he's not really marriage material or ready for the responsibilities of a husband role. He should have never sought love with a traditional woman. Seeking love with a traditional woman and knowing you have a sex addiction is just cruel and narcissitc because you know you can't stop easily. Addiction issues would likely continue, so the cheating would continue. For example, he has a rough day at work, he cheats, his toast came out too dark, he cheats etc.. Sex addicts cheat for pretty much any reason.
Let me make it simple for you . He couldn't get no head or ass from her because it would be insensitive.
My husband and I lost 5 babies and it was just as hard on him. Thank the lord one of my brothers seen his pain and went to him.
THIS! But reading the comments, he'd have been belittled by these knuckleheads...which led to the slippery slope.
🙏🏽 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thank God for them seeing his pain!
5 babies? What the fuck? Stop trying.
Thanks for posting bcuz the comments for the men are awful. We ALL fall short.
Sherri, NO! This guy was mad that you were being supported in your pain instead of offering his own support as a loving husband would??? Your friends cared for you more than your husband? Sad. He cheated cause he was a horrible, uncaring, selfish husband who chose to make his cheating YOUR fault.
He couldn't process his OWN pain. He didn't make it her fault!! Dads definitely need support through these challenging spaces!!!
@@antoinycemathis That was an excuse.
@@antoinycemathisso it's ok to cheat everytime you're in pain? Absolutely not. He didn't do it because he was in pain, he did it out of jealousy. He had so many options and still chose sec! And yes he felt the pain too but keep in mind the child was unborn meaning she was physically attached to the baby and lost it that is not only painful but a severe mental struggle to come back from
@S it's NEVER okay to cheat... EVER! My message was not to excuse his cheating at all (I would never excuse that behavior). I was simply saying that people often disregard men in these types of situations (case in point, people are STILL disregarding his feelings now lol). I don't need to argue about why her husband chose to cheat. We ALL know he was wrong... he knows that also (hopefully 🤷🏾♀️). He was expressing the depths of what he was going through during a time he couldn't express it. Obviously, he chose the dumbest, most selfish way to express it, but that doesn't change the fact that he acted out of pain. Two things can be true at the same time.
@@eastgate6134 No one hears him because he's still full of crap.
To this day, I never asked my ex-husband why he committed adultery. He did it and I divorced him. End of story.
Exactly 💯
That’s how it went for me.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Periodt!
This is very true and speaks Volume for maturity. ❤
Communication is really important in a marriage. If you can't talk to each other in difficult times, then that's a problem.
I agree. She was not in that pregnancy alone and I’m sure he had feelings about what they were going through at the time. It’s like this a lot of times in a marriage where the attention goes to one person it when everyone leaves who is really standing there with you.
If my woman is pregnant (considering that the child is mine), then I'm there for her.
He can afford therapy, grief counseling and could have spoken to you.
Who are you to try and tell how a depressed person should handle their grief😂
She may not be telling the whole story also. She may have stop having sex with him. That’s just one part of the story. I am pretty sure a lot of factors lead up to the divorce.
@@llman03it’s true, we know only one facet of the story rn, but please don’t use “she stopped having sex with him” as an excuse for seeking sex with another person.
It’s bullshit.
He just give an excuse to cheat!!! A real men who loves you never never never is going to destroy your heart because he loves you .
Are you a man just wondering
A man can love you and still cheat
No one knows how other people react to situations.
@@littman.benji__8761 you’re a cheater right. A real men with morals, values and dignity don’t break the heart of his women , remember you have a mother and wouldn’t like that you father will cheat on her right ?!
@@ebe5179 yeah so you’re not a man carry on ✌🏿✌🏿
His pain is real, but that's no excuse for not leaning on you and working it out together to remain faithful to the marriage.
My husband cried longer than I did during our miscarriage. Hurts him to this day
Very sorry.
@@claudiascott6484
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you 🤎
@@iAmLocGoddessK Very welcome Journey.
I hope and pray that you both can heal. Sending you prayers of love and healing. 🙏🏽❤🙏🏽
@@hulahipz01
Thank you so much!!!
I’ve healed. I can only speak for me. BUT I can say he’s happy as hell because I gave him a boy 🥰
I can understand his point but that's no reason to cheat on your wife. Good job divorcing him, he seems very selfish...
Shes 56 and not married? What is good about failing a marriage mind you she failed twice.
Such a foolish statement....i'm willing to bet u want her to be alone & miserable like u. How dreadful. ..They literally have another child in the equation. Smh...jesus
@@iamrysheemwhat an asshole statement to make!!! She failed the marriage? SHE?!!! So him cheating on her in a time where she was extremely vulnerable after losing a child it's her fault? Wow that's disgusting
@@linkinlady06 all i hear is excuses. If i got cheated on i’d consider it my fault for picking that h@3. If i married someone I had to divorce because of their character i’d question and blame my discernment skills. If i had to do it twice even more. Its called accountability and adulthood and yes in this weak ass world of people who lack it. It also makes you an asshole when said out loud. All yall women butthurt but even she had to realize she had to take ownership for her choices. Which is what she’s stating in this video.
@@jafarmartinBeing single doesn’t equate to being lonely or miserable.
What Sherry said about her ex husband is true. Men have pain, but seldom do we hear how they are coping with grief. ❤
He could have spoke to her about his feelings. She was his wife. Men bottle things up, you practically have to beg them to speak up. It's not fair to his wife that he didn't speak up and chose to cheat.
Shit, talk mfer simple solution!!
Of course men go through pain, however using that as an excuse to cheat, means he never loved Cherry that’s all it meant. He is a liar.
He went to cope in another women’s vagina! Yes, we want to hear more about this. 🙄
@@bellaapple2166 did you not hear her say that she was hearing him. Can’t talk to someone that can’t hear you!
Felt everything he said to her and I love that she was in a place where she could hear it. that's awesome.
Hidden pain & Hidden brokenness… In relationships we need to be able to communicate with each other & not behind each other
I understand her husband pain. That's no excuse to cheat but I went through the same. As a man a lot of times when something like that happens to you, we don't have outlets the way women do. My ex fiancee had a miscarriage, I was severely depressed for 2 years and I didn't know how to communicate that to my partner at the time. Which lead to the deterioration of our relationship. I think instead of judge her husband we should all learn from this. We all have different responses to trauma.
Ya'll are two different people. It isn't a one size fit all.😂
I definitely agree. People process and respond differently. I think people don't try to understand what a man thinks or feels enough. They aren't even taught how to express themselves from a child and up. God bless.
@@tashad2201 thats true i used to ask my ex bf how he felt when I was depressed and noticed he started to be as well but he would always say that he's fine and how men shouldn't cry and I tried to tell him like wont think of u as less of a man for needing a shoulder to cry on. i still pray for him hopefully he finds his safe space.
The only reason for cheating is because they wanted to. That's it, that's all.
.
I understand that. When I lost my 3rd baby folks were surrounding and comforting me. My then husband said but that was my baby too I lost! Wow! All I could do was hold him and told him to cry it out!
I completely understand. Went through the same thing. Didn't cheat though.
So, then you don't Completely understand 🤔
Meaning my wife and I had a miscarriage I hurt almost just as bad. But cheating never crossed my mind.
@@elishuaboles8698Of course you hurt but let’s not be disingenuous here you are not going through the same thing as your wife - it was EMOTIONAL for you both however add on PHYSICAL for her and all those hormones that attach us to our babies running through our body.
Everyone is supposed to rally around the human that had the actual physical lost!! I can’t imagine my partner being so selfish! He’s mature enough to open his mouth and speak to his parents & friends to assist him if need be but to look at everyone rallying around me and have the AUDACITY!!!! To think he somehow needs that too is TOXIC.
I have lost my pregnancy before and my partner was too busy holding on to me the whole time he was getting them hugs too! I can’t begin to imagine him sitting thinking oh Im not getting enough attention!! I guess we come from foreign families so masculinity runs high in our culture to be a protector & provider!
I completely understood what you meant. You weren't equating the pain, but we get no support, no consolation as if our "feelings" have no merit...
The problem here is that he didn't talk about his feelings to his wife. He talked about his feelings with another woman creating the perfect environment for cheating to occur, or at least that's how I'm assuming it went down. Communication is key in a healthy marriage. If your wife is having a rough go of things, then talk to a counsellor, even better, go to grief counselling together.
Thats not an excuse. He should have spoke up. Hope he has grown beyond that childish behavior.
why when a man is not making a women happy the first course of action is to call him a child.
its called going for the jugular...his ego...his manhood...his power.....NOT NICE
Not communicating with your spouse and cheating are both immature behaviours no matter what genitalia you possess.
Basically he took the pain As Jealous and did revenge on cheating on her
Just Marvelous...he is like a Baby or teenager ....
Exactly what i was thinking🤔 jealous Man 🤷
Did you know some men will delete themselves after losing a child?
If you lost a child and no one consoled you, how would you feel if a man came along and just loved on you because he seen you was going through it.
Would it make you feel better?
@@PD-qu8dqlol what if a man consoled that man that lost a child? Would that man sleep with him because that’s the only one who comfort him at the time?
Sherri Shepherd is the sweetest person and is so real! I met her at Essence Fest and she was so down to earth!
It's not a reason to cheat but this is so true. A man feels the severe pain of losing his unborn baby. My coworker lost his baby many years ago but he still teared up when he talks about the death of his unborn child.
I TOTALLY AGREE… but you don’t cheat on your WIFE bc friends and family don’t rally for you. Cheat on them then.
Some men ....cause you forgot some men move tf onnnn!!🙄🤔 and also was he with the girl of his urborn child 🤔
@@lovelykiyah7415 yes, he's with the mother of his dead child but he has another child from the same woman. Their daughter is in college now and the one that died was a boy
Talk to ya wife..bond with ya wife..Talk to a therapist. Talk to a pastor..get yoself a mentor..Talk to a coach..Talk to a counselor..talk to God..there are peiple who get paid to listen..there are people out here who get paid to give hugs...where are yo homeboys at?? Theyre not really yo friends if they weren't giving u the support u needed. No excuses..there's absolutely no reason good enough to cheat. He cheated cause he wanted to..bottomline.
Agree
. Because the fucking story sounds off. Periodt
Neither of you know that man and or his life or situation. U litererally heard this woman explain the depth of pain they experienced....but somehow, u two know better. Crhist almighty, i swear u get wut u deserve in this life....next time just say u didn't hear a word she said.
@@jafarmartin we heard exactly what she said. I completely understand his pain, more than you probably know, but let me ask you something, did she cheat?? And before you say no because she had support and he didn't, think about this, yes he lost his unborn child an my god the pain of that loss can be unbearable. However, she was pregnant and lost of physical part of her body and then still had to find the strength to continue that pregnancy. I don't think most people understand the mental and literal struggle a woman's body goes through after losing an unborn child, it can bring you to the point of thinking bad about yourself and that you will be a horrible mother, that is why they supported her so much. She needed that strength to bring his other child into the world healthy and full term, depression alone can cause a miscarriage. His love for her and the child they didn't loose should have kicked in and been more of a support for her. That's not to say he shouldn't have been in pain but sometimes you have to be the strong one first and then when the battle is over sulk in your pain. If we all stop doing what we are supposed to because of pain then this would be a messed up society. So @buttaflygirl105 is right he had many options and knew what the outcome of cheating would be and how much it would hurt his wife and he still did it with all the options to talk to friends, family, pastors, therapist, etc.!
@@jafarmartin I don't have to know "that man" to know he was wrong for cheating on his wife and of he had emotional trauma from the loss then he needed to express it in a different more healthy way. I don't have to know him to know him cheating was a detriment to his marriage and if ur willing to risk that then u don't deserve to be married. Bc u don't value u, ur partner, covenants and ur word don't mean ish.
It really boils down to wanting to feel good in _that_ way and basically not caring that his cheating would hurt her.
Using your child's death as a reason to cheat is a whole new level of despicable. What is wrong with people?
I SAID THE SAME THING!!
Right like what
Exactly. I don’t condone violence but I would have smacked the taste out of his mouth for that selfish, manipulative comment.
Exactly! That man is low
What's the proper trauma stimulus that is acceptable for cheating?
The Only reason a person cheats is because they think they can get away with it.....THATS IT !
Not true, not justifying anyones actions… but, on a realistic scope…people have trauma from childhood, beliefs, parents and early relationships. If people don’t work through the trauma they will cheat. Now, it’s up to the other person to choose if they want to understand the psychology behind it and give their cheating partner a chance to heal themselves and the relationship or to cut it off completely. If the person does not work through their issues and past trauma they will be on the edge about their self worth and continue looking for validation outside of the relationship and cheat again. Sometimes some emotional or mental needs are not being met. Nothing is ever so black and white.
Some people don’t even CARE about getting caught. You are clueless and have one way of thinking when it comes to cheating. Typical
Not true
And she accepted that explanation? Wow, that's the biggest crock of schitt if there ever was one. Dude cheated, and gave Sherri that b.s. sad sob, feel-sorry-for-me explanation, and she swallowed it. Narcissistic gaslighting: "I cheated but it wasn't my fault. The people made me do it."--Fraudrick Douglass. Lol
They’re divorced, so no she didn’t.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Not Fraudrick!😂😂😂😂😂
Where did you hear she said she accepted that excuse?
@@muffy9215 in her retelling of it on this video. She wanted to believe it. She made herself believe it. He told her after the relationship ended. It made her feel better. Gaslighting pure and simple.
Fraudrick?!?!?!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Such grace. Good insight, Sherri!❤
He wins the award for the dumbest excuse to cheat. 🏆
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Fr like wtf
It wasn't an excuse. He was explaining why he did it.
It's called accountability.
@@jthomasmackGiving an excuse is not accountability. I think you need a dictionary SIR.
@@charnaeyoung9815thank you!
Her husband was saying infidelity on his part, and sharing with her how he felt when they lost the other twin to Jeffery her son. Sherri is a very smart woman and she is not taking blame for his infidelity. But closure after a divorce is healthy. Because they are still parents to Jeffery. Good for them. Be blessed.
Exactly. Someone was actually listened to the clip. Thank you for your response
He cheated no excuse closure comes from within
That sounds like jealousy not pain. I bet he was in pain but getting jealous of you because you got more attention than him is not an excuse to cheat.
May God continue to bless you and your son very sorry for the loss of your daughter ❤😊
He could've talked to her & they could've bonded. He was jealous of that woman for an entirely different reason. These excuses are just that & I want BW to stop accepting fault, blame & responsibility for men's F ups. We are not responsible for other people's emotions. He could have used his words with Miss Sheri & they could've consoled each other!
men are constantely responcible for womens emotions.....women f-up too.
men have hearts and feelings and all women care abnout is their own emotions....and how a man can lift and pull and push stuff all day. ....stop......how bout that.......stop.
he used his words. listen to what she said he said.
cant you imagine talking to your child and rubbing that belly and losing thaty child....balance.....he messed up...he still matter.
@@ahkeeantahkeeant8096 Stop texting me bitter cry baby blk man. BW, please date out and up!
@HeeeyOhaji😏 BOOM! Mic 🎤 drop!!!
Damn she was ripe for the cheating now she gotta pay alimony. Sorry Sherry you got played.
Not the same husband. She is referring to her first husband
Actually that's not the same guy. People forget she's been married twice.
She's talking about her first husband
Sir, I understand you felt alone but that’s not an excuse to cheat on your pregnant wife smh
The fact that he would use the death of his own baby to justify his infidelity is actually really disgusting. How low can you go smh.
Toure sitting there “And?!” 😂😂
Selfish reasons unacceptable, you were pregnant and in a position where you were high risk. No reason to cheat but he only thought of himself
Yes, he thought of himself because no one else did. Men feel pain, may not be labor pain as in giving birth but a pain we as women can’t comprehend. We don’t know everything about a mans mind, heart and actions.
@@stephaniepalmer1926 men cheat for sex not because they lost a baby lol. I call bullshit. Men aren’t usually emotional cheaters women are…and if they are maybe a gay man.
@@stephaniepalmer1926yes men feel pain too! He cheated out of jealousy because she was getting more attention due to the loss, not because he was hurting. Cheating is wrong, man or woman! Both can walk away. He knew what the outcome of his actions would be and still did it, not because he was in pain but because he was jealous and he wanted to!
I would like to make a comment. I have lost 2 children, and I never cheated on my children's mother, even though it was hard for me, not once I ever thought about stepping out.
Really reallly sorry for the loss of ur two babies 😢 I can’t imagine how hard that was for u and the mom
Thank you. Finally someone with some sense.
Look how he tried to flip that 💩. That was an insult to Sheri’s intelligence. Blame shifting. Using a loss of a child to validate his cheating. Super disgusting!!!!!
You know him , he's lying for sure. He didn't feel anything about the passing of his child? You sound like a young fool.
Beyond disgusting and she craziest enough to empathize with him 😂
Yep . Pain don’t make u cheat!!! Period!!!
@@cammiosisempathy does not mean sympathy and neither one of them excuses the accountability... They got divorced, and still not together. That's called understanding something although you don't agree with it.
@@SirenScorpio empathy means to understand and share the feelings of another. That’s EXACTLY what she did in this video.
Wow that he took no accountability. And she believed every word .
Agreed. She wanted to believe him.
Basically
It don't matter. They aren't together anymore.
@@BlackGirlMarvelit does because if you're gullible with one man you'll be gullible with the next.
Lol i said something similar prir to seeing your comment.
It would be so much better to just say I cheated bc I wanted to end of discussion
Yep, at least it would be the truth.
Or he could've been in a weak moment. And turned into the arms of somebody else. It's not that shocking.
@@brotherLee340and yet it's still wrong. Could have also divorced her first
@@user-nn5nq4ml3c yes but she asked. So he answered. They had a civil Convo about it. It's typically reasons behind cheating.
Ms. Sherri you have such a kind and forgiving heart. There are so many couples that go through heartache and loss of a child. It is Not an excuse or reason to cheat. You should have been able to turn to each other for that love and support that you both so desperately needed. He should've been the first one to be there to "rally" around you and you could've rallied around him in return. I get that men hurt and need support in times of loss and grief, especially when it comes to a child. What he needed to understand is that you as the mom and the one carrying the babies is that you feel the loss not just mentally but physically and plus you needed to stay strong for the surviving baby. Instead of that feeling of being left out he should have been present for you and your baby. I applaud you and your strength. Take Care and God Bless. 💞🙏🏽💕
She is so understanding, she will soon find another cheating man.
You could've saved some time writing all of that & just said...I didn't hear a word she said". That way our time reading that silly sh*t would be preserved.
@@jafarmartin Thanks so much for your feedback and thanks for taking the time to read what I wrote. I really appreciate it. I enjoyed writing this. Stay safe. 😁👍🏼
Insecure men are the worst!!!!!!
I’ve been here Sherri with my now deceased husband. He knew A LOT of people and after his stroke n 2016 leaving me to take care of him. NOBODY notice me or asked how I was doing? I could’ve cheated but it wasn’t an option only a TEST!
Hell na that’s not why men cheat sorry sweetie.
I was thinking the same thing😂
She didn't say men. Bitter behind
That's why her man cheated on her, if you pay attention he said that's why he cheated, he didn't know she was listening.
@@shan7180 no, you are mistaken. He was talking directly to her, and he made up some bullshit. Women cheat emotionally. Men cheat physically. He cheated because he had the opportunity to sleep with someone more attractive than her. It’s that simple.
She explained what her ex-husband said, not all men. Not to mention she didn't stay with him. Idk if they divorced bc of his infidelity, or if she found out later but they did. A result of her healing and growth, or not, she moved on and eventually was able to hear him out truth or not. At the end of the day no sweat of my back if he was gaslighting her, as so many ppl like to say, or not. She shared a story whether we understand, like it or not! Life goes on and Sherri isn't a part of mine or yours. Ijs
I remember having a deep conversation with a friend one day, then realizing my son, who was 2 at the time, was strangely quiet in the other room. When I went to check on him, he had poured out my makeup and was sitting in it. The look on his face said “I know exactly what I’m doing”. My mother wit kicked in and told me that he internalized that I was talking about him and he didn’t like it, but didn’t have the language at 2 to express himself.
When I hear stories like Sherri’s… “I put my 🍆 in another 🕳️ in the midst of losing our child bc no one prayed for me like they prayed for you and the baby”…. It hurts me to think that there are adults who behave like 2 year olds that don’t know how to express themselves… so they choose destruction as a form of expression. In the end, everyone loses.
I hope you beat his ass.
Thats ur way of looking at it. Honestly the fact that no one came to that man and said anything about him losing a child says alot. I would have just left them all alone. If women only knew how many men actually feel this way. I picked a man up at a strip club as an uber driver and he was drunk as hell talking about he wanted his wife to pay attention to him. If men were not expected to be strong and endure it alot more women would be single. They do not listen. Most men i know genuinely do not like their mate. They only stay out of a sense of responsibility but are not happy. I dont condone cheating. I woulda just left to be honest.
@@CHambricTooReal yes. Yes. The vows are in sickness and health. They are both supposed to be there for each other. I will point out this way of thinking led to a divorce. Its always going to be something women come up with the children, work, stress. None of those things excuse you from being a good wife. The same way he’s not excused from being a bad husband. This woman saying she finally heard him was her taking accountability for her part not his.
@@iamrysheembut it wasn’t her part though. She lost the baby. He said he was upset that no friends checked on him.
@@jamillahwatkins2168 What he did is obvious. No one said he’s not at all responsible for the dissolution of their marriage. The thing I keep pointing out seemingly to women on here is if it effects your life you have to take responsibility for it. This woman could go around blaming him forever. What’s learned? If I walk down a dark alley and get robbed I didn’t rob myself but if I don’t say i shouldn’t have walked down that alley I’m likely to get robbed again. He robbed me. I still have to take accountability for my actions on how the parts played out. She is voicing accountability. This weak ass world would call it victim blaming. Actual adults see it as a necessary part of adulthood.
It may be hard to hear but if you get married your emotional or physical state never completely override your partners. No matter what it is. When two become one both have to at all time be considerate. The problem is so many women seem to think 1 men shouldn’t have emotions and 2 theirs supersede their partners. That is not the foundations of a healthy relationship. With anybody. He was wrong. We know. That doesn’t mean she was right. Thinking like that make a relationship a competition and not a partnership.
This is so very true most ppl don’t equate the Father as Parent (ppl)
Yes, I saw that with my brother in law. He didn't cheat but he was devastated at the loss of his child.
He’s a full grown man not a child… no excuse…
HE HAD YOU!!!! He should be there for you!!! I’ve lost a Baby too but my Husband was there for me. It’s different when that living child dies and you’ve carried that living heartbeat!!!
💯
She wasn’t there for him. Clearly!
Bless you all
@@DPeezy3158 What more could you expect from her exactly? The father is indeed important, but let's be real. He will NEVER physically and mentally know what it feels like to go through the changes and still lose the baby.
@@LetGoStressFree that comment is exactly why he cheated. It’s not just her baby. ITS THEIRS!! He’ll never understand physically but he can understand mentally because he lost his child too. They possibly could have healed from that trauma together. However the man didn’t lose anything though, right. SMH
I call bs on his excuse. He chose to go out and cheat. He had no one to talk to, but chose not to come talk to his wife.
He talked to his side chick. 😂😂😂 yall wonder why men do these things yall cant even listen when it comes from a woman.
Exactly! He made a decision and she made one. To divorce a cheater.
@@leebrown1213 no a man gets called a simp for defending women who are not defendable. Those 3 laughing emojis should tell you my comment was in jest.
Or a grief counselor or a pastor or his best friend he didn't have to go out and cheat. That's just bull.😏
Love you sis every time I see you I get a ray of light and a. HUG SMILE EVEN YOUR JUST SPEAKING IM FULLFILLED WITH JOY LAUGHTER. KPL” keep pushing lifestyle “!!!!! LOVING IT FAMILY 😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ MY SIS PROUD OF YOU SUCH A GLEAM OF. JOYFUL SMILES HAPPINESS 😊😊😊❤❤❤
His pain does not excuse his actions. He made a choice to cheat on her. He could have talked to her about how he was feeling. I am sorry that both of them had to deal with the loss of their daughter. We love you Sherri. ALWAYS!!
Thats the problem with shared trauma, often time one dont want to share or put more burden on the other in fear of feeling selfish. In this case, do you know if ever anyone including his wife stopped and asked how he was doing.. Its natural for society to assume the mother needs the support because she is the one that carries the child/children but as fathers how do we wave a flag asking what about me when those around dont think you are affected. While i dont think cheating is right but its not always because someone just want sex its also emotional connection and recharge... So if in that moment if you not getting at home people not matter what gender is going out to get it.
Yea but Sherri was also working a lot. Probably had tons of friends over comforting her, that she didn’t even think to comfort her husband. Yea he could have asked, but she could have voluntarily reached out to him too.
You do understand that men statistically and historically are not vocal about their feelings. GOD made them that way for a reason.
No excuse for cheating. Cheating was his choice.
Sherri has such a great support system, and that was intentional. She's a best friend to so many people. Sherri suffered a major loss. She is support of many, and she reaped ALL of that .
Her husband cheated because he wanted too. It’s as simple as that. Comforting a man after losing a child will not stop him from cheating, if he wants too.
This is so true. It also happens to children. When an adult relative dies everyone gravitates to the adults. Children also carry that same pain of loss, but no one sees or hears their pain.
So true. My mom died when I was 10. Extended family was there, but they always asked my dad how we were coping, versus actually talking to me. It definitely left a void in me still very present today.🤷🏽♀️
Divorce also...
When You Love From Your Heart And Soul, You Will Not Cheat. No Exscues Will Do.
That so true 😊 ppl never think about the man feeling 😊😊
Read that book “men don’t heal they hoe”
😂 FACTS!!!
Thats an actual book? If so i need it lol
read the book...... :" women dont heal ...they take revenge and deny children their daddies."
@@ahkeeantahkeeant8096 that's not what happened between them tho so it's irrelevant.
😂😂😂 is this a real book because I'm WEAK 😂😂😂😂
We went through the same thing. I wished more people supported my husband.
THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING, ITS A SELFISH DECISION.😳 SHE CARRIED THE TWINS…WHY NOT TALK TO A THERAPIST OR FAMILY MEMBER?? WE LIVE IN A SELFISH WORLD AND FOLKS DO NOT WANT TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY. I FIND HIS BEHAVIOR ABHORRENT. WOMEN, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR A PASS, BECAUSE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.😳
women cheat tooooooah....talk to someone? ......nobody cared he lost HIS CHILD....get that.
men matter...period
Real talk. Good for her
People cheat because they see sumthin they desire and believe its ok to get it at any and all cost. It will eventually cost money, time, relationships, integrity and yo life in some cases!
Men don't cheat because of pain 😂
True they cheat because they want too
@@annacarter4879 yes, same for women.
Maybe you don’t…but I’m pretty sure you don’t speak for all men
🤣🤣🤣 But his BS excuse worked on her
No but they do cheat if they feel like they arent getting respect or consideration in their household
She is so right. The man has the same hurt just as the woman does😍💚💛👑🙏🏾
she so wants that to be the case. bless her heart
I receive this as an explanation of an act that cant be excused.
I believe that men hurt when losing a baby too. BUT..that's a reason/excuse to cheat?? No way!
I’m so glad she got the closure it seems like she needed regarding the end of her marriage. As hurtful as it is, I’m sure she needed to make peace with it in some way.
you go girl 😜 God bless you and yours 🙏🙏💞
Oh that's deep. Resentment...
Men always go through pain but the woman get all the pain medicine which is love and understanding
That’s some bs. Come on now, Sherri! Don’t give any other man the green light to do this to another woman. No excuses.
Still no reason to cheat Sherri. He could have shared that with you. You all could have grieved together. Maybe people didn't reach out to him because he appeared standoffish.
Correct.
@Margeaux Jenkins What lowlife cheats on a woman who just lost a baby? Bad enough that he cheats when she is carrying his child. Sherri and women like her need to stop rationalizing s_h_i_t_t_y azz behavior.
Man says, "Boo hoo, no one consoled me when we lost the baby. So, instead of being honest with my feelings to my wife or my best friend or our doctor or my pastor or God, I am going to sleep along with other women. Yeah, boo hoo, that's the solution." Give me a break. How convenient to gaslight her with that lame excuse.
He narcissistic
@@annacarter4879 You have a point. From all she has said about him, it sounds about right.
Ummmm she CLEARLY said she wasn’t LISTENING…as most women in the thread 😂😂😂😂😂😂!!!!! Most of you missed that part because y’all simply don’t listen
Overwhelmed With Blessings