Worried My 93 Year-Old Dad Broke the Family Trust Rules for Ex-Mistress
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- Опубликовано: 10 авг 2020
- Worried My 93 Year-Old Dad Broke the Family Trust Rules for Ex-Mistress
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Somebody was planning on getting a lake house. 😂
That is such a simple way of looking at it. Elderly people get taking advantage of everyday by strangers and relatives who are no where around when the money is gone and he needs care. If that happens, why should she be left holding the bag. She actually has a right to know what is going on. Been through it.
Christine my husband had the family business given to him after 25 years of work. His sister and brother had a fit, claiming concern about their parents. They were planning on my in-laws dying and being my husband’s new boss. I’ve seen “concern” first hand. I also know what fake concern sounds like. It sounds like this lady.
Pickles432 Noname we don’t know this lady. This man is 93 years old and she is his daughter. If her father made his wishes known and now he is behaving differently then it makes sense that she question it. I don’t assume her motives are all bad. They could have a fantastic loving relationship. We don’t really know that history and we don’t know his mental capacity.
@@pickles432noname6 my Dad is manipulating my siblings and I over his will, trying to get us to give him money. I choose to stay out of it, don't ever expect to get, and don't expect to give anything.
Right? Lol
“When somebody says it's not about the money, it's about the money.”- H. L. Mencken
she wants her piece of his trust before it’s all gone. she wants the money...
Or maybe she doesn’t want some “new friends” take advantage of him. if his wishes were to leave the daughter and other family members money then what is wrong with that? Nothing wrong with families passing wealth to the next generation.
I can see where she wants her inheritance. You would too--anyone would.
The way he hung up once she said “ex mistress” 😂🤣
savage 😂😂😂😂
Mothers legacy LOL, it’s his money he can do whatever he wants, including not giving it to his daughter
Maybe he *did* give it to his daughter - the *mistress* daughter that's his too, that is...!
Exactly...
Ah, no? If it is a trust then the trust is bound by the rules of the trust as set up by the person setting up the trust.
First generation makes it
Second generation blows it
Third generation spends their entire life fighting over the crumbs and wondering where it went.
Forth generation realizes that every first generation was a third generation at one point.
Stop counting other people’s money. If you’re fortunate to have parents/family members that leave you money, that’s great but people don’t owe you money that they worked hard to make.
I know a woman trying to sue her grandparents over this same type issue. The same grandparents that paid her way through college, grad school, bought her a Mercedes and a condo for her to live in in an affluent part of town. Can you spell UNGRATEFUL.
Chasity Everett ...Wow, sad. Yes and I can also spell ENTITLED BRAT. Sounds like they created that “monster” and are now reaping what they sowed.
Chasity Everett how awful. I mean, sounds like all that WAS her inheritance. Some choose to dole it out as needed, instead of making kids or grandkids wait until they die. If she wants cash, she could sell the car/condo/both 🤷🏾♀️
Well I do sorta disagree.
I believe that yes, it is their money.
However, if you have children you should have a goal of creating, or adding to family wealth.
The key important factor is to not take from it, ever.
Eventually, you would have enough interest throughout the generations to live on interest.
Create a trust that goes to your kids, and their kids etc.
Half the interest it makes goes to them, the other half gets re-invested, this way it can only grow.
Hello!! Annoys me so much when people pocket watch their parents.
"B-b-but my mothers legacy!!!" *defames her father with mistress allegations on live radio
GREAT POINT
Honor my mother by dragging my father through the mud 😂
It’s his money; she is only worried about not getting his money.
Exactly
Yup. Fighting over inheritance is ridiculous, kids aren't entitled to a single red cent.
My parents already told me that their may be some assets left for myself and my siblings but don't count on it.
@Mike Park
My mom called a family meeting and laid out the will, explaining it all and what she expected to happen among almost all those in the will to get something.
I took one look and said....
"The lawyers will get it all. And since I wanted to be a lawyer I won't complain out of professional courtesy."
(LAll was lost the minute she got a *WILL* instead of a living trust - and I *KNEW that* but Momma never wanted to listen to the youngest kid, no matter how many law classes I had taken or how much I tried to explain it to her. Just so the rest of you folks know....
*A will INITIATES probate* ! Once you have a will, it takes a probate to transfer property from the deceased person to heirs!
Just a heads up, because we lost almost a million dollars due to a judge who wanted to hold onto all the rental income in a special bank account yet refused to allow *any* money to go out - like for paying the mortgage!!! - until the probate was over. After over 4 months, the lender took it back and got almost a million dollars in equity because of one stupid judge - on a property that cash-flowed like a dream.
After getting my first chest pain ever fighting with the family member who was supposed to be administrator trying to fix it, I got the message and walked away from it all.
The saddest thing of all was, Mom and her closest friend both went to see the same lawyer at the same appointment. The friend got a living trust for her real eatate at that meeting but Mom did not, so thanks to probate and a dumb judge we lost it all.
@@samjordan8800 ouch
donald johnson @Donald Johnson Finally, someone with common sense. It sounds like you have been there. The kids will definitely be expected to take care of mom and dad. Even nursing and hospice care require a huge time commitment. Seriously, anyone who has been through this knows the sacrifices that have to be made to make sure mom and dad are in a decent place and taken care of. Those sacrifices can include missed career opportunities because your time is spent with mom and dad which result in missed opportunities to build your own wealth. Geez, makes me think most of these people haven’t been down this road yet.
This Is why people donate everything to charity in there will, money can ruin a family
This. Jackie Chan said his son isn't getting any money in an inheritance. To paraphrase "When I die my son gets none of it. If he can't earn his own fortune, then he doesn't deserve mine."
Dave turns off her sound and says "now we really know why you're really upset"
😆
She keeps talking about a Trust when, clearly, there isn't one.
Right????
I think she's mistaking an estate for a trust
@@bmmk12 the family has TRUST ISSUES
Exactly. My grandfather had a trust and his personal residence had nothing to do with it. She's confusedm
She wants her dads money she don’t want to earn lazy kids theses days stop sitting on your parents money go work and go up in life
93 still works😱 I'm here thinking retire at 65
She gonna be real mad when she finds out that's his granddaughter.
Bingo, nailed it!
She's already acknowledged that possibility to her self or she wouldn't have brought it up.
Let the old man live out his golden years!
Sounds like she more concerned about protecting inheritance than him. Ex-mistress info came in wwwaaaayyyy too late in the conversation and undermined anything genuine.
she worried about his own money. Money hungry kids. MIND YOUR BUSINESS
HAHAA
A 93 year old parent usually winds up being the kids business at some point.
@@Chris-tg3qy She said he is still working and never retired LOL.
This guy sounds like a character, hope he leaves her an old truck he used in the 90's.
When Dave said that's maybe his granddaughter. Dang. He's probably right.
When I read the title I was like “this is going to be good.” Lol
Real good 😂
I started doing the birdman handrub
Daughter: Dad are you okay? Dad: I’m doing okay. Why? Daughter: I’m concerned about my Mum’s legacy and the Trust. I need to know what my cut is on the Lake house.
she is clearly worried about losing her inheritance she thinks she is entitled to and everyone in the comments sees this... dave is usually pretty brutally honest but he was simply wrong when he kept saying she isnt money hungry
You know she’s been racking up debt saying “I’ll be fine I’m getting an inheritance!” And is now scared 💩-less!!!! 😂
GenX X 😂 happy?
I feel like he kept saying that to emphasize what she said in the beginning and was saying that to remind her she said it.
@Kyle Webber 110% this
If mom and dad told her they wanted to leave her some of their wealth then logically she would expect that. Why does that seem to bother some of you? Children should always question “new friends” and out if character financial decisions made by a parent who is over 90. It is their obligation to make sure dad and mom are not being taken advantage of and that is why Dave is not angry with her. He sees that too.
it his money, the Trust is only there when HE dies. till then you have NO say in anything he does.
That’s not true. Trusts go into effect immediately. Wills are only good after some one dies
If he set up the Trust chance are he has complete control of it.
You will be the original trustee of your living trust. As trustee, you will have complete control over the property that will be held in the trust.
translation: i want my fathers money and property
And don't want to wait for the one that earned it to die...
@Online Complainer Refuses to die?
😂😂😂
@Online Complainer refuses to die with dignity? 😂
I think that the children should be the beneficiaries of any assets in an estate.
She's not money hungry. Glad we got that out of the way. 😁
You ever notice that when people start statements like that, whatever the opposite of what they say is probably the truth?
Dave is shady with that line "it might be his kid". 🤣😏
It probably is!
"Might be his kid be the
way", Dave called it!! He's doing his estate planning now as he can't put his illegimate child in the will
When my dad passed, his favorite ring that he always wore was given to one of his step-sons instead of my brother. My step-brother was practically a grown man when my dad and his mom married, my dad didn't actually help raise him. I was told that the step-son had always liked and admired the ring, so my dad gave it to him shortly before he passed.
While I felt a little hurt for my brother, I had to remember and understand that once my parents divorced, they both formed other relationships with people they came to deeply care for. Part of caring for and loving someone, is sometimes giving them a memento of yourself for them to remember you by. My brother had never expressed a liking for my dad's ring, but another young man--who my dad did come to love--did.
We can carry that hurt and anger around, or we can accept that people have the right to give whatever they want, to whomever they want, and it's really not our place to say otherwise.
Jennifer Tackett this a very true and mature statement.
This is a very wise comment
It's almost a universal truth that step-moms are bad for a father's children, no matter how you try to justify it.
@@riumudamc4686 Wow! Reference?
Very wise way of looking at the situation
Giving his “other” kids the money
ex mistress granddaughter - meaning HIS grand daughter
minischnauze13 no, his daughter if anything. his granddaughter would be his mistresses daughters daughter
@@jackfleming7137 right, I was implying that he and the mistress had a child together and that the granddaughter in question was the subsequent grandchild.
She has a problem with the ex mistress.
@NurturingTalents she didnt get cheated on tho, it was the mom
@@MarksTournaments you wouldn't care if your dad stabbed your mom in the back?
@@missy3505 Maybe the mom was ok with it because she didnt want to do the deed anymore.... Different strokes for different folks.
@@grantarmbruster6591 OR......Maybe the dad is a homosexual Russian spy and he only married the mom and had an affair to cover his tracks🤔
@@missy3505 Yes this is exactly why as Christians we should hear both sides. Why on earth Dave allows people to talk bad about people who are unable to defend themselves from evil charges is beyond me. So yes we don't even know if he really has a mistress or not. Thank you for proving my point.
It's all about the money lol it is. She is kidding herself. Making herself feel better because she feels cheated. Chris was waiting for the truth and he got it. I suspected too. But a huge factor is... The dad is 93!!! He can die tomorrow. Many people try to right wrongs before they die, he feels the end is near. Pretty simple and the kids noticed his actions of haste so they wanted to cash in.
I’m with Dave. Dad is old, built his own wealth an he shouldn’t be punished for this.
He build it with her mom and he’s giving all to the mistress. So wonder the kids are upset. It’s not just his money. Their mom worked for it and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have wanted the money to go to his mistress.
Come on folks! There is another side to the comments I'm reading. We had a family member who lost his wife, became involved with a woman (quickly afterwards), who convinced him to buy her and her family multiple cars, max out his credit cards, and take out a mega loan against his paid for house. It left him completely broke. His entire life's wealth gone in a few months because he was so wrapped in grief he couldn't think properly. Of course she left when the money ran out. It was the most painful situation for his children to watch and no one could do a thing about it. This isn't all about money for goodness sakes. It would be gut wrenching to watch if this was happening to YOU. Think about it.
Oh she called you later and told you the rest of the story ?
1) He never retired and still works 2) He had a mistress and he sold a house to her granddaughter This whole "mother's legacy" is baloney. Dad sowed wild oats, whatever went down between him and mother is none of your business and if he's still in the workforce, you're going to have a hard time making a case for mental incompetency. Take a deep breath, realize you may get nothing in his will and get over your greed.
Sherry Ellesson Have a little compassion for the poor girl! Being rejected by your father for a mistress and her kids is horrific!! If we’ve learned anything from Dave, we know that money means way more than buying stuff. She obviously feels like her dad loves the mistress more than her mom. And that hurts deep in a person’s soul.
@@priscillalongworth1720 She's far from being a girl, and she never said that her father's dalliance caused her or the family any kind of hardship. Have a little common sense.
@@SherryEllesson i think you're the one that needs common sense. The lady doesnt have to say "my dad choosing another person over his legit family hurts me deeply" for you to know thats the case
@@priscillalongworth1720 she said she has a great relationship with her dad. All her complaints had to do with assets and what the dad was doing with it so it appears her issues are more financial than anything else.
sounds like she wanted the Lake House.
Nothing divides a family more than death and money.
Lady, it’s not your money. The dad should will everything to charity and be done with it.
When a parent cuts out the children, it’s hurtful and hateful.
@@hollyb6885 if the children only care about money then they deserve to be cut out
Mr Mackey Giving gifts shows that you love someone. We give birthday gifts, wedding gifts, etc. to cut your children out is hurtful and hateful like I said before
@@hollyb6885
Oh so you must be one of those people who expects everyone to give you a present on your birthday.
Dillon H I don’t expect presents from family and friends so if I get one, I know they love me.
I love how at the veeeeeeeeeeery end she finally makes the “ex-mistress” admission after being “so concerned” after her mom’s “legacy”. He took care of the child he and his side piece had and it’s ruffling her feathers. Bad news for her, he can do what ever he wants.
Lol she just wanted the lake house. Really sneaky with that “he didn’t sell it for full value tho” 😂😂
So if it’s his money what’s the problem?
She was really looking forward to owning that Lake House . And he randomly sold it without telling the family.
If he's in a right state of mind, then none. But this has the markers of elder financial abuse. It's worth getting involved just to be sure he isn't being manipulated or tricked out of all his wealth. Like if I had gotten a call from her back when I was working at a bank, I'd have already filled out a form to have this investigated.
@Johnny Five that's often part of getting involved, right.
@Johnny Five by "I don't see" do you mean "I can't imagine she would", or "she's not currently doing it"?
@Johnny Five not asking you to write one, just clarifying. But assuming it's the latter, I'll point out that she's still trying to figure out whether/how to approach him about it. She doesn't know if she needs to get a 3rd party involved yet.
Chris: You poke a bear and they wake up and do what? Bear stuff!
Me: 🤔...Truth 🤣🤣
My mother’s legacy, it’s his wife’s money, husband is next of kin, sorry kids.
Its the father's money, he is still alive and no body business what he does with it while he is alive.
Wouldn’t the fathers alleged cheater be the DAD’s legacy... not the mother’s?
This woman’s obvious dishonesty is disgusting.
This is now the Maury show with the amount of family problems 💀🤣
He has a right to spend his money. He is not obligated to leave anything to you.
Dave : so it's his money ?
Caller : yes. It's his money
The old man can do whatever the flip he wants 😂
This makes me thankful for my own family situation. Jeez
😂😂😂
I worked at a legal guardianship agency where clients were deemed incapacitated by the courts. Our organization managed their finances to pay for their monthly expenses, etc. These clients family were never around while alive but when they passed, family always came out to claim their inheritance. It was always pathetic to witness.
Yeah because people who take care of the their parents don’t need those places
I may have an unpopular opinion about this but here I go:
It seems to me that she wants to ensure that she and her siblings are taken care of regarding the trust. To many people that may seem like greed because it is his money so he can do whatever he wants...but I think of it from another perspective because I am a child of divorce. My father's house was once our family home that my mother and grandmother contributed to that will be passed onto his wife should he die first. His wife has a daughter (not his) and grandchild (not his) so years ago I harboured anger because i felt like the house should be left to me as well as most assets because he's MY father and MY mother also sacrificed to purchse that house which may evemtually be passed on to the woman he may have cheated on my Mom with and assets that should be mine etc etc. That came from a place of anger, hurt and the feeling of being cheated of a good father and having a good life. So I understand what she may be feeling. What gave me perspective is forgiveness and realizing that materials things are not as important as we make them out to be. Since then my Dad and I have a great relationship and he has been a blessing in my life so the material stuff doesn't mean too much.
This is another reason God hates divorce.
Jesus Christ is Lord still a shame to see you get cheated from those assets
Aint it funny how we have to forgive the bad people for the bad things they've done for us to "have a better relationship" with them, while they dont really have to reconsider where they have gone wrong?
@@tandyrichae6194 That is not in the bible...
@@usernameluis305 who said they don't?
The best financial duo. Perfect compliment to each other.
Greedy caller😓 He is your father he still works he will do what he wants with his money.
My dad is blowing MY inheritance! And it may go against the trust that I don’t know anything about
If I were the dad I would dissolve the trust and re-examine my situation.
It sounds like an A/B trust and she’s confused about what that means. Upon the death of one of the spouses-control goes to the remaining trustee but the assets stay in Trust B and aren’t taxed. So he would be the trustee until his death. The brother she mentioned would be the “Successor Trustee”. ALSO So many times people set up trusts but don’t re-title the property in the trusts name. Big mistake not letting people see the trust until after death. People have NO idea what’s in it, or how to manage it, and it causes ALLLLLLL sorts of problems.
Yea, that's his grandchild and she's feeling a way about him leaving the lake house to the illegitimate grandchild instead of her. Sucks mom was put through the lying and cheating, still stayed, and died before him. Seems like dad is trying to sell off as much as he can so there won't be anything left in the trust. You can tell the kids dangle that affair over his head and are still upset mom is dead.
W
She’s feeling some type because he didn’t sell it to her instead of the mistress daughter.
@@Austenfan177 yeah i dont get why people in comments think you should just accept your parent essentially moving on from being your parent and being someone elses
Ok now we really have officially reached Maury/Jerry Springer head line levels. Now if we could have that camera crew and the fights added
When my father left my mother I said to her let's watch Jerry!
@@dteun plot twist, your dad left your mother for Jerry!
@@LT-iz5eq haha it was kind of dramatic but that would have made the show..
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
@@LT-iz5eq Jerry was is the best antidepressant therapie out the no meds can beat Jerry Jerry Jerry
Too much going on she is clueless about or just guessing at best, and needs to speak a lawyer to see if there are issues worth pursuing and whether they need to take action to prevent harm. Her brother should be completely upfront and share all documents etc.
The grandkid is his, so he’s supporting all his family.
At this point, there are a couple of problems with the whole situation.
1) It seems like not all of the kids are aware of the important information about the family trust. Including who is actually a beneficiary of the trust and who is running the trust. When the dad dies this sort of thing can cause families to end up in a long and expensive legal fight that destroys the family unit completely and potentially all parties financially.
The kids and the dad need to have a family sit down and make sure that everyone knows what is going on with the trust, who is to benefit from the trust and why the trust has set itself up in the manner it has. Trying to hide such information is not what the dad should be doing.
2) If in fact, the dad was selling his own property then well that can be his decision however given his age (93 years old - that's a really good run he has going for him) it's not that uncommon for older people's decision-making capabilities to start showing signs of impairment.
This is probably the best response on here. There is a lot going on and dad should make his wishes known legally and verbally to the family. The reason he needs to tell them is to make sure nobody is influencing his decision and to make sure anyone that he gives a responsibility to is willing to carry that out. He also needs to address how he wants any possible health issues handled so when the time comes his wishes are carried out. The daughter may not be going about this in the right way, but dad definitely has a responsibility to clear up any confusion about his wishes. If a parent doesn’t want to do that then they very well could be leaving their children a mess to sort through. If you love your kids, don’t do that.
She’s waiting on the money ....
Dad is fine, except his daughter is driving him nuts.
Reminds me of Knives Out 🔪......
Yes, I loved that movie.😎
I mean, it's sad. I've seen something like that where the mistress's children get all the of the trust. I do sympathize.
Thank you for sharing
Hope she isnt trying to find him incompetent for her or her siblings take over the trust.
"I live three states away but we have a good relationship "
His money, get the f out of his business
I like the way Dave approaches this
It's all about the money her dad owns. What a shame. Dave is right, unless he is not well enough to take of "his" money, then and only then the trustee may take care of the trust for him.
***Translation***. Dave, my dad is spending my inheritance...how do I legally get him to stop before it’s all gone and I end up with nothing?
It is Dad’s money and none of your business. Your mother’s legacy? YOU are your mother’s legacy.
She trying to honor her mom by cutting his mistress out. Her mother should have left him years ago but for what ever reason didn’t. It’s so sad because it’s caused so much pain. This is what a lifetime of lies looks like.
The reason is money!
Pat T 😂 you’re probably right
Every answer she gives she ends it with.... and.
Thank you for the video Dave! I really like Dave's advice here... she is more worried about the money and the trust, than the mental health and wellbeing of her father. If your dad really wanted you to have the money, or your mother's legacy, he would have given it by now. Pending them growing up as responsible citizens, we already plan to give our assets/wealth to our children over time. They will learn to live with wealth throughout their life, rather than all at once when we die. It also disincentivizes an untimely demise, as our will is set up to do a similar allocation of wealth over time (through trusts) and they already know that.
Oh, this is going to be good!
Good relationship. Ok. “I lived 3 states away” @@ WHAT lol
Immediately says, "I'm not money-hungry." Red flag. But yes, definitely check-in on him about his erratic behavior.
"We aren't money hungry". Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Your dad is 93 enjoy him while you can smh.
This lady has no information at all. Doesn't know anything at all about this trust.
ITS ONLY 1 MILLION. SHES ACTING LIKE ITS 100 MILLION
For someone like this 1 million is all the world's wealth
Are you really gonna ignore 1 mil though😂
Angelo Makes Music lol. Facts
My guess is she counted on that all her life and now she might not have the savings or worse debt....that she was counting on paying off with that money.
Your blessed to have your father alive at 93 years old and you’re worried about his money.... shame.
There’s a lot of people that would give up all the money in the world to have their parents. And it’s not like she’s a minor who needs assistance, this lady is probably 50+ with her own financial life.
If he's 93, still working, he's in a good frame of mind. I don't think "Dad" needs guidance.
She clearly just wants the money. It’s obvious she’s upset about him spending his own money. It’s not yours, let the man spend his money how he wants.
Let him do what he wants. He’s 93 god bless him.
93 years old and working ? I am 58 and i want to retire as soon i can...
She's worried about him alright--worried that there won't be anything left for them!!!
The woman has absolutely no idea about the trust and the money involved and still wants to control her dad who built all that wealth. 🤦♂️
She needs to have several seats. Keep out of grown folks business. He's 93 and he can live exactly how he wants. Geez.
Why ask this show as opposed to a trust lawyer!
"clout"
@@ieatpussy1000 😂😂😂 Dave's not cheap he's FREE!
people need to do research before they call this is pathetic
That 93 year old is awesome.
it's funny watching him flick the mute button as he gets into the stuff people dont want to hear haha
Might be his kid by the way. -Dave Ramsey- 🤣🤣🤣🤣
As co-trustee of my late Mother's Trust, until her Father passes away, there is no trustee. Somewhere in the trust the trustee should be listed, but that only applies after he passes away.
I have a Will, and around 90% of my estate is going to a charity I support. My siblings are not happy about that. 🙄
It depends, he may have conveyed his property into a trust while alive, many will do this to avoid certain tax things down the road when they die, especially estate taxes, but that's usually if they plan on leaving it to their heirs.
@@TeKnoVKNG23 it would have to be a fairly sizable estate before taxes became a problem. It depends on the number of beneficiary's of course. I have a corporate executor who is going to handle my Will when I pass away.
@@jvolstad It all just depends. Some people if their family is close enough will use a trust to protect assets if there are medical issues, etc. I have a friend whose father was very sick in his 60s and basically put everything into a trust with his trusted son as trustee, in case anything sudden happened he felt it would be easier for them to deal with it afterwards.
@@TeKnoVKNG23 money does funny things to people.
@@jvolstad it’s so sad
If you listen at 2x speed you can hear the panic in her voice at the prospect of losing the money
Listen to Dave all the time at 2x speed as his callers are all long winded
As I have told many a person you can’t count on an inheritance. Make your own money and build up your own wealth.
Exactly. I made my own money over the decades and invested it carefully. I never gave a single thought to any potential inheritance. Much to my surprise, I inherited nearly $9 million. I was astounded. I was 58 at the time and worked full-time another 5 years after that. Since I had my own money, the inheritance was icing on the cake.
Yikes!!