Yesh thats why people all do coke. So they csn socialize. Why cokes massive I literally know soccer moms who use it as a social tool monthly. Thanks sell out govement letting casinos launder money... and putting no limits on foreign endearment with that money
Even though I don't live in Vancouver, I think this exactly why Vancouver seems unfriendly. I live on the island and feel it's stupid expensive to live here, yet Vancouver is way more expensive. Lots of people are exhausted trying to make ends meet and climb the ladder to success. Hard to be friendly when you're exhausted all the time.
@@Confidentk9sCa What people fail to realize is there is no ladder to success. Opportunities that they see are all there are. The government has pretty much high jacked people's inability to make ends meet by disallowing investments and economic opportunities due to excessive regulations and taxes, all of which are supposed to be a "progressive" step in the right direction.
I m italian living in Vancouver. 3 years of loneliness. I ve never expierenced something like that before. This city is a beautiful postcard without soul. Sorry Vancouver :(
Same here, moved from Italy about 8 years ago and you can definitely feel the difference. My first 3,4 years were quite challenging as far as building connections, there’s a lot of trial and error that plays into it. La cosa principale che ti posso suggerire è di non mollare, le persone vere esistono ma sono difficili da trovare qui in Vancouver. Per un italiano la vita sociale può essere complicata al inizio siccome non ci sono tanti di noi a Vancouver. In ogni caso, sono sempre aperto a conoscere più italiani, se vuoi mandami un messaggio e sarò grato di aiutarti. I wish you the best of luck going forward :)✊🏼🇮🇹🇨🇦
It is one of the most beautiful places on earth on the outside, inside, I agree with many comments, we have an empty soul city, and most of the well off people don‘t stay here year round, me included. I plan to stay 6 months in Europe and eventually full time.
Ya well, it's called corporation ism. A group of people go out and find an activity they like to do. The city season happening. They regulate the activity. They make sure there's an equal amount of gay people, minority people, Aboriginal people, elderly people... Rinse and repeat. The rich sit back with everything and weak to see what as peasants are doing with our lives. As soon as we break away from culture with Something new is packaged and sold.
@@andrewjensen8189 Introverted doesn't mean anti-social. I'm extremely introverted but I still talk with lots of people in my area and have no problem making friends. I don't live in Vancouver though.
I'm born and raised in vancouver. People are shocked when I'm willing to talk to them further than the standard small talk. I sold my ps3 to a guy who just got out of jail and we talked for almost 3 hours and it was extremely fulfilling. I got a different perspective at life and so much more from that guy.
I agree, from my experience van is very cliquey. Everybody stays within their comfort zone and don’t see the value in branching out. I know a lot of very arrogant people in van who think that it’s not worth spending time to know people unless that directly benefits them. Admittedly, I was very arrogant as well. It was not until I started feeling lonely, not because lack of relationships, rather, lack of any meaningful connection that I realized that this mentality is toxic and if I’m going to meet any good people, I need to change. I’ve been in so many relationships and groups where everybody just agrees with one another and everybody seems afraid of confrontation, even if that means something as simple as going out for a meal at a place you hate. People are willing to cast aside their own opinions and identity in order to feel like they fit in.
I think i agree with the idea of the ideia of the money issue, a lot of immigrants are too busy struggling with the visa and making money for a better life, so they are "to busy"with work. But if every body feel lonely if one person break this glass it will be more connected. Another point is the awkward stuff, man this is so millennial (I`m one) we are much more apprehensive about what the other people are thinks about our statement than with our selfs.
In my experience, I’ve had some wonderful talks to folks I have purchased or sold items to. You get to meet people from all walks of life. Truly a blessing for us in Vancouver with it being so unique and multicultural here.
I moved to Vancouver to be with my fiance. When I first came here I'd say hello to people and she thought i was nuts, people would give me weird looks. Eventually I stopped. I've never felt so miserable in a city in all my life. I convinced her to leave and she's the happiest I've ever seen her. Life is too short to live in a city like Vancouver.
Dang now you've said it, I realize i'm just desensitized to how withdrawn people are there. Always showing embarrassment on your behalf for harmless actions. Absolutely ridiculous. Lol!
I completely agree that many cities / humans around the world feel the same way. For someone born and raised here in Vancouver I definitely understand what the feeling is like. I remember biking through English bay in the summer, seeing groups of people hanging out, having fun and I always wished I could just join one. Until one day, I mustered up the courage to approach a group. They welcomed me whole heartedly and I made some pretty incredible friends. It just takes going the extra mile, pushing your comfort zone and making the first move. All insecurities aside. We as humans need one another, we need community, that is how we were created to operate! Thank you for creating this video, beautiful perspectives. God bless!
Wow. I also bike around the sea wall/English Bay Area and see tons of those little groups of friends tht I wish I could be a part of but I can’t imagine actually going up to them... that’s so awesome that u did !!!
I am moving to vancouver next month. I am nervous to go. My siblings moved to vancouver so I will always have them around. I hope I have a social group once I finish university. Although its less likely these days due to covid. Maybe once this year is over I can make some friends.
@@marley7659 Hey, just wanna pop over and say welcome to Vancouver. If we can get out of this shitstorm in covid, we can meet for a coffee. Even after writing this, I feel insecure. (Criiinge) But I do mean it.
Increasing pace of life and cost of living is tough on social lives. People also cherish their freedom, privacy and personal space. The balance is tricky. Digital lives overriding real lives these days too.
Amen... The extreme high cost of living has cut off most social connections since people prioritize work over friends (because they have to.. In order to eat and buy their first home)
Having been born and raised in Vancouver I agree with most of what these people in the video say. Vancouver is definitely not a warm place, both figuratively and literally. Yes sure, people are polite when you ask them for directions... but that's as far as it goes. I moved to the states 10 years ago and noticed a drastic difference in the way that people interact with each other. A lot more talkative and personal. Many years ago my mother described her experience when she moved from New York to Vancouver. after being in a place that's full of character, her reaction was that it seemed like she had moved to a city that's full of zombies. You'd make a joke, no reaction (she doesn't tell bad jokes always). Combine that with the fact that it's among the least affordable places in the world (2nd to Hong Kong last time I checked), gloomy weather most of the year... It's a pretty depressing place...
Sounds like the gal I met off of plenty of fish before this pandemic. Beautiful gal. I'm not a comedian but I am quick witted. She was deadpan. I'd say something and the folks at the table next to us busted out laughing at my remark but her? nothing. The fact she didn't laugh one bit made me start cracking up laughing my ass off. Plenty of Fish!!!!! lolololol. Hey what'dya expect right? I'll stay in Sacramento with the protesters, blm, crackheads, homeless, 110 heat, year round golf, motorcycle riding, Lake Tahoe, Frisco...
I don't disagree with your sentiment at all. However, it should be said, although Vancouver is the most expensive city to live in in Canada, it is the 98th most expensive city to live in globally. To be fair, they base cost of living, in part, on how much money you can potentially or on average, earn in that city compared to expenses. That is obviously very relevant. Like, if someone lives in Chad Africa, it has a very high cost of living because of how hard it is to get money. That said, it should not be ignored that COL in Vancouver isn't even CLOSE to how expensive it is to live in Hong Kong, Tokyo, NYC, Zurich, Paris, Singapore, London, etc. etc. etc. NOT EVEN CLOSE. Just saying. www.mercer.com/newsroom/2020-cost-of-living.html
Full of zombies lol, that's exactly what my family describes this place when we first moved here. The streets are always empty and eerily quiet. The only time you know there's a person in the house is if they have a car parked outside.
Problem is a lot of people in Vancouver lack social exposure. It becomes a never ending cycle. You don't go out, you don't get exposed. You don't get social exposure because you don't go out, and so on. That's why a lot of outsiders look at us and think we're weirdos.
I've been living for 2 years in Vancouver. People are so polite and respectful. But they are numb like they don't have emotions. So you can't talk deeply and connections are shallow and insincere. No emotions.
@@DiscoverConnection I don't think that is necessary, the way "it should be" is people been normal like in the old times, when we used to talk, wave, introduce our selves, and in the case of immigrants like me, blend in. I know lots of people that don't want to blend in and they never neither bother in learning the language, they just don't want and I found that really disrespectful and prompt to create these bubbles that bring all this identity crisis that this city and society is suffering!. When you are pushed to find people through hobbies or activities you are just putting a bandaid on the problem and basically encouraging the same pattern of bubbles or clicks.
This conversation came up with a friend 30 years ago with another native Vancouverite. His take was that Vancouver is a place where Canadians come to heal or seek change in their lives after a tragic shift in their lives, like a big break up or trying to overcome addiction. He said that Vancouver is full of emotionally injured souls looking for escape. The more I live here(since birth) the more I agree.
That is so interesting, and I see that! I know a number of people that have done that. I wonder if it is because they feel like people will leave them alone here so they come. And i am sure being in the nature here helps too.
My parents were young adults in the mid 80s and they have always said the same things about Vancouver being a cold and clique-y place that people say nowadays. It's always been this way. The social media angle brought up in the video is an issue for sure but it doesn't paint the whole picture. Your theory is pretty interesting as there are a lot of transient people here. However I've lived my whole life in this city and most of the people I've met have also grew up here so I think the issue is elsewhere.
I've lived in Van for 8 years, moved here from Alberta. The best way I can explain the attitude in Van vs. Alberta is a 'Pioneer' attitude vs. a 'Prospector' attitude. In Alberta you get to know your neighbours because you might need help surviving the winter so you go out of your way to make connections. But in Vancouver (and all of BC) there is this attitude that I've found my gold and I'm NOT sharing it. Everyone moves here for the dream of living here, if they are lucky enough to stay and succeed they have to work hard and spend lots of money to live here, so they don't want to share because of the fear of losing that tiny foothold.
I was making plans to go back to Southeast Asia before Covid happened. People here are...different. in all the years I spent here I have never felt this place as truly home. When I visit the Philippines I feel that sense of "homeness" that I have been missing despite the chaos. Getting older has made me realize the value of connection.
@@patrickt49 100%. I was about to get on a plane to Philippines back in March of 2020 and not come back to Vancouver, but then Covid happened and I've been stuck here.
I gave it three solid years and then had enough. Never had a solid group of friends. At one of my jobs the entire room I worked in would go for coffee, but never was invited out once. Driving/traffic is absolutely the worst in the country which I'm sure doesn't help anyone's stress level. The biggest shock was after having left the province and stopping in Calgary overnight, the warmth and genuine kindness from our waitress at Earls was the polar opposite of every social interaction I had in Vancity. My life has drastically improved since I left. It's a fantastic city to visit, but not to live in.
Never had that problem when I lived there, THIS being said, every time I had a cookout, an outdoor activity or a house party, the only people that showed were foreigners and immigrants, people born and raised in Vancouver do not make the effort to spend time with friends
I kind of agree, white people in Vancouver are very reserved and conservative in nature(not politics). Being a punjabi canadian we can be out going and kind of loud at times and I feel out of place because I feel like we are constantly being judged for being maybe more outgoing than 'canadians' and people here tend to consider that obnoxious. I've never had an issues having friends and family being from a culture where those connections are everything, but we also get judged and mocked for living in extended families and having large wedding etc for having those same connections.
@@itshardtofindaname Hell, you make a little bit of noise, your neighbor would find you obnoxious. A lot of people here would rather suffer and die in silence.
Awww I moved here 1.5 years ago. I felt so accepted so many people reached out to go to concerts, go hiking, you have to push yourself out your comfort zone and make an effort to make friends though.
I moved here 13 years ago and I have 3 friends who I met through a work hockey team. I found it near impossible to make friends. They have their own clicks and groups and it’s very difficult to get through that. I’ve been at bars and pubs and hanging out for a few hours having a good laugh and the other persons friends walk in and say see ya later, in other towns I’ve lived in the person would have invited you to hang out with their friends and help introduce you to their group. I agree with the loneliness in the video.
I've been living here for 1year and a half, I'm from Mexico and it's my first time living abroad, I thought maybe it was because of culture shock, but you're absolutely right, most people here are just superficial friendly, but they don't let you be part of their group, I also noticed that Vancouver is a shared city for people from many countries, but you can see that they don't "mix", you see Asian people hanging out with Asians, whites with whites, and so for. I find it so sad!
I moved here to Vancouver 13 years ago from Sydney Australia. I should say, I'm not from Australia, but lived there for a few years. As a measure of comparison, I've lived in a few different places around the world, and have made a few intercontinental moves. When I landed here originally, I found the city to be welcoming to immigrants, compared to other places I've been to. It was just a nice vibe in the air, I found myself less stressed about the fact that I wasn't born here, and racial differences didnt seem to matter much... FANTASTIC! That attitude changed, very fast. A few days later on the bus, I tried to make small talk with a lady sitting next to me, and the response blew my mind. "I dont know you, why are you talking to me? Are you hitting on me? I'm not interested" The funny thing is, I wasn't even flirting, I was talking about weather. You'd think this would be just one example right? WRONG! Truth be told, the MAJORITY of the population are not rude, most people are very polite, but that's kinda where it all stops. That was my first brush with Vancouver life... Over the years, I've experienced this type of thing over and over in different contexts, and different places throughout the city. Never in my life, have I come across a population that is so shielded and guarded and so consumed by their own life (I should say survival than living life) and the few people they already know, and the unwillingness to bring anyone new to the mix. I visited LA for a week a few years ago, and in that short time, I made more friends and had more laughs and conversations with random people, than a decade of living in Vancouver. The back breaking cost of living in Vancouver no doubt plays a part. The constant stress of massive cost of living, the falling real wages, and the insane cost of a decent house/condo, makes one wonder, why are we paying so much to live in Vancouver? What's so special about Raincouver? I even tried to connect with my neighbours, and thought maybe invite them over for dinner... the same cold shoulder. I'm not even gonna get into all the issues about dating in this city. I'm sure some will disagree, and some have a bustling social life here, but that's certainly a smaller population of Vancouver. The saddest part is after so long being here, I'm now sometimes finding myself giving the same treatment to others, and THAT depresses me more. I came across this video because I'm actually trying to figure out where to move to, and the reason is two-fold: The stupendous cost of living, and the loneliness I've experienced ever since moving here - Cant wait to leave this place.
"most people are very nice but that's where it stops" I'm a born and raised Canadian and this is true. Montreal is the only city in Canada where people have life on the them. Everytime I travel I make quick friends with the local yet here in Vancouver and Toronto?!? So hard. There's something wrong. I'm moving on Australia in two years so I hope the people there are warmer.
It’s been almost 2 years since I moved to Vancouver from Calgary. There are many things I love about the city. At the same time, I can see why some of my friends in Calgary moved there from Vancouver. I can now also relate to my ex, who went to 4 years of school at UBC, has not made a single genuine friend while studying here.
I'm from Calgary and went back a couple months ago to visit. I forgot how friendly and laid back Calgarians are. Living in Vancouver for 5 years has made me more of an introvert now. I used to try and talk to people on the bus when I just moved to Van and yeah never got a warm reception. I grew up in International Ave in Calgary and its very much a melting pot there. Here, ethnic communities stick to their own. Even asians don't mix around here
I can only imagine. UBC Though is like schools like U of T and U of A. Well known prestigious schools, but with big class sizes, people have to make the effort to find friends in such post secondaries.
@@MadChatterYT I am From Toronto and frequent Calgary because of Family. I really agree, people are so laidback there and I always feel the difference. Although I find that people are less likely to say things to your face or directly. It always feels weird when people smile at me, because in Toronto you're lucky if the stranger doesn't rip your head off. Cheers.
I'm moving to Vancouver from Calgary at the end of this year and now these comments are making me so sad :( it's been my lifelong dream to move there but now I'm worried...
Many years ago when we bought our first home, I baked pies to take to the neighbors to introduce ourselves. Yes we married very young, I was 19 at the time my husband and I bought our first home. I was so excited, being from another country where neighbors are very friendly. First and only door I knocked with one of my freshly baked apple pies, I was very rudely told no, we do not want it, and he shut the door on my face. I was really sad and crying and went home. I never did that again. When I think about it, I'm sure that if I had the courage to knock at other neighbors doors the reaction would be different. At least that's what I want to believe. We lived in that area for 3 years, never met a neighbor.
I'm sad to hear of your experience and feel the same. It's like people here don't know how to make new friends or be open or have fun. Not sure what happened up here in the beginning to make a culture so distrustful of "strangers". Most of my friends are international like myself but I've got a few native Canadian friends too.
Been living here for more than a decade and I never met any of my neighbours as well lol. Just different from my home country in Asia where people are very friendly and neighbours knows one another. Since its very multi-cultural I noticed that different groups gravitate to same race and nationality. It feels very welcoming and homey in that way. Unless you grew up here and met people in such a young age things will be different. But yes, I do agree that if you're new here forming relationships like friendship will be challenging.
you cant make one experience with one person make your mind up about people you've never even tried with. Bet the next door you knocked on would've been stoked.
@@sumgui6010 you are right, I still think about that and know deep down that if I had continued it would have been different experience. Young and foolish, lol. I no longer need to take my baking to the neighbours. They knock at my door when they smell my freshly made bread. They also know I make enough for everyone, lol.
I was born and raised in Vancouver. I left for Toronto at 20 even though I had a tight group of friends (looking back, they really weren't that great) and a "secure" job (a mind-numbing government job that many aspire to). The analogy I use is the movie Pleasantville. I was trapped living in black and white but after I left, I see the world now in technicolor. Have now spent more than half my life living in big cities in Asia as well as NY where I've forged amazing friendships that now span multiple continents. I go back to visit YVR regularly and am stunned by how many people only travel in the same social circles that they had in high school. I will never move back. My next stop is Australia.
I lived almost my entire life in Toronto and moved here about 8 years ago. I find Vancouver much friendlier and open than Toronto. I never knew any of my neighbours in Toronto and never said hello to strangers in the street. In Vancouver, I know almost all the neighbours on my street, we have yearly block parties and our children play together. There’s a real sense of community. We hike a lot here, and we frequently smile and greet people we pass on the trails. In Toronto, the second question people always ask after “what’s your name?” is “what do you do?” I felt like you were defined by your job there. When I first moved to Vancouver, I was struck by the fact that no one ever asked me what I do for a living. They would instead ask me, “What do you like to do?” It gave me the impression that people in Vancouver valued your interests more than your job. Moving to Vancouver was a great decision for me and I feel like my kids are growing up in a friendlier environment here than they would have in Toronto.
Where do you live?..main Street or commercial?. Bec sounds to me that that is the areas you could be living in. Lets get real, people in Vancouver always will ask you what do you do for a living, and yearly birthday parties in community?!..wow..u most be living in a suburban neighborhood. Again, where do you live?, Bec you are not describing the normal Vancouver experience. No offense.
@@alexparada607 I live in Cedar Cottage (an East Vancouver neighbourhood that a decade or two ago was considered a rough inner city neighbourhood and is now euphemistically referred to as “up and coming”). I was nervous when I first moved to this neighbourhood, but the community spirit has been amazing. The last summer before the pandemic, there were 8 neighbourhood block parties within a 5 block radius of my house over a 2 month period. I’ve given a lot of thought over the last 8 years about why my Vancouver experience has been positive. It mainly comes down to me. I have personally tried harder and made more effort here than I ever did in Toronto. I make an effort to read community bulletin boards and attend community events and Meetups (pre-COVID, of course) and talk to my neighbours, things I never did in 30 plus years of living in Toronto. And luckily, my efforts were rewarded because I have made some great friends. I guess when you grow up in a place, you never feel the need to seek out friends and community, since your family and social networks are already there. Btw, it’s been 8 years and counting and still no one has asked me what I do for a living, upon first meeting. Of course, people eventually ask in the course of getting to know you, but it has almost never been among the first few questions asked. I still notice and appreciate that, every time it happens. I fully recognize that a lot of people have not had the same experience as me, despite their best efforts to meet people. But I truly believe my experience is not uncommon either, and I hope it helps to hear a positive story.
@@alexparada607 I feel that many folks that move to inner Vancouver are the cliquey type. Anything outside of the city, most people are genuine. Although I do feel that since the housing market has sky rocketed, some feel a sense of entitlement. I moved to Canada in 1999 and the attitude of people from then to the mid 2000s and to now.. there’s been a major change. Lived in burnaby until 2004, in Abbotsford now, and I love it.
@@h.y.w.6932 Cedar cottage is a great place, the same than anything that is outside Vancouver. But living in Vancouver is not the same. If I could live in New West, Burnaby, cedar cottage, even East Van I know for sure that it would be a different experience, but yes, Indeed Vancouver is not a friendly city, try to tell that to people that live in more central areas, In the course of 11 years I had lived in Gastown, Yaletwon, Kits, now I'm in the South, in the UBC lands. And people hardly look at each other. I'm glad you are having a good experience, but again, Cedar Cottage is one of the oldest parts of the city(east van is well known for having a sense of community), so that is not the same experience of people that live in other parts of Vancouver. We cannot say that Vancouver is friendly just bec your area. Anyways, nice to meet you, let's honor this topic and start expanding our friends circle???. Big hug
@@abdullahmahmood3040 definitely agree with you. But remember that some people don't have any other choice than to move to the concrete jungle, might be bec of been near work or Bec they are alone and don't know anything else. Either way, is true that the majority that live in the inner part of Vancouver is or wealthy or are a bit of entitled fellas, and yes the city rental and housing prices soaring are not helping but..still people make their own bubbles and we still with this social disconnection. There's nowhere to run anymore, as u said, everything is getting expensive, so..ya, eventually the good people end up leaving the city. Keep a spot for me in Abby, hahah.. I might move there! Big hug!.
I love this youtube channel and what you guys are doing with it. I wish you could post more videos but I understand it takes time to produce this quality work. Keep it up!
Vancouver people are always late, they flake on plans, and they are soft. The best way to make friends here is to meet people from other places. The problem is that everyone ends up leaving because it is not that good of a place to live.
god i thought i was the only person who felt like this about van. i’m only 18 but i have noticed this even in teenage life in vancouver. people don’t speak to each other unless if they need something from you. it’s such a cliquey city in every aspect and everyone is cold or feels awkward. i think living here for a few years is nice because the city is beautiful but for a life commitment it’s miserable. my parents are from europe and they pointed this out as the biggest shock when they came here.
It's the perfect place to come and HEAL , it's beautiful and also very lonely place which you will find yourself alone most of the time and when your alone you think and you go back to your trauma and you start to heal in the beauty once you've healed move away to a more exciting place and really start living your best life but staying in Vancouver is just EXISTING YOUR NOT REALLY LIVING
Live in Vancouver for 4 years and I'll conclude my experience for three words: polite, quiet and distance. We may smile to each other with appropriate greeting but cannot feel anything.
agree. people have their own little groups and lots of times no one cares. i had better conversations in harrison hot springs and chillawack. outside the city. the main city is beautiful but ive seen livelier cities
Social media killed our abilities and instincts to be able to communicate in real life and make connections. I find it hard to make friends in Vancouver as a Van native and after moving away for a few years and losing touch with all my old school friends, it's a struggle to find new ones.
Leaving school and moving to a new city, or having your friends leave is a challenge for sure. You leave this space where connection thrives and thrown into the real world and have to really go out of your comfort zone to meet new people. Are you still struggling to find your friends ?
@@DiscoverConnection I am and it doesn't help that because of my position, I work a lot of hours so I don't have the energy or time to even get out of my comfort zone and socialise.
@@SushiParty That's definitely another thing in some cases! I know personally a few people who their jobs cause them to work sometimes up to 10-12 hour days, and even come in on their days off. But interesting thing, I found a recent article about some companies switching to a 4 day work week and finding productivity increasing compared to the 5 day week. Definitely something we could look more into!
Moved to Vancouver from Russia 9 years ago. Contrary to popular opinion, I found people here being waaaaay friendlier and warmer than back home. I felt like my personal boundaries were respected for the first time in life. People talked in non-invasive ways, showed a relatively good grasp of non-violent communication, which made me feel safe around them and more open to share. Overall, I made lots of good friends here! I guess the experience of Vancouver is in the eye of the beholder.
Canadians keep voting further and further Left thinking that will solve the problem. They never make the connection between Leftism and high property costs.
@@TrouvatkiDePercusion What we need is to de-regulate the economy. More opportunities more investments will help stimulate the economy. The government also needs to revamp the tax system here. I don't understand why government workers who do basic things with little to no education get paid more than minimum wages from our tax dollars while the vast majority are struggling and aren't getting a cost of living increase. A lot of these people are also highly educated and under utilized.
@Karl Marx oh yeah commie. I know it's hard to believe that people would lie to you when they're supposed to be super uber nice leftists. Grow up. Leftism is nothing but a cope for children. Real men want ti fix capitalism. Not sit back and let other men tell them what to do.
Yeah, I was considering moving there after university. Visited Montreal and actually got to see what an actually warm city looks like. Moved and never looked back.
I've been living in Vancouver for ~10yrs and Vancouver is by far the least social and friendly place I have lived in (and this includes Europe, latin america, South America and USA). It is very easy to make a shallow/casual connection because the people are very nice, BUT it stays there.
There's something about all of the big cities in the Pacific northwest. Its hard for people to connect on a human level and lots of people suffer from loneliness. Portland here
It's hard not to disagree with your observation. I moved to Vancouver 28 years ago and the thing with the PNW is the massive influx of new people from other states, provinces and countries. It's a big surprise to even met someone who's born and raised in these cities.
I've lived in Vancouver for about 10 years and I find it incredibly lonely. I've tried going out of my way to meet people and have been rejected at almost every turn. The loneliness has gotten so bad I've become depressed, even started having suicidal thoughts. I don't even bother trying to go out now because there's no point.
This video was made a year ago, I was wondering as I watched it how much worse it's gotten since covid hit. There are lots of people suffering, just remember you're not alone. Everyone is trying to act like we're not lonely and vulnerable. I hope that you can find a way to connect.
Don’t feel like that. You got to be strong, ppl that don’t value u, r not worth ur time. U have be confident and proud of urself and keep ur self busy with lots of hobbies. being alone can be hard, but adding value to yourself by doing things that enrich your life is more important than ppl who have no substance. I’m not sure if ur a spiritual person, but praying to a higher power will give u guidance. Never give up 👍🏼
There are people at the art gallery every Sunday to stand up for freedom at 1pm - try it out atleast you can be around people and you never know you might make a friend.
@@tuhituhitu The thing is (in my personal experience), people get put off with the fact that you're not trying to spend time with them, but when you put yourself out there, they back away. It's REALLY hard to make friendships here. Everyone wants to be within their own group and are only willing to make acquaintances.
I grew up in Vancouver in the '70's and lived in Toronto for 8 years in the '80's. I moved back to Vancouver in 1993. Vancouver is not the friendly town that it used to be. I travelled a lot too and apathy exists in all world class cities.Whenever I am in Vancouver, I still smile at people on the street. "Be the change that you want to see in the world." Be friendly and people will reciprocate.
I'm a Spaniard who moved to Vancouver in 2015. This is a friendly city. Maybe it's my neighbourhood, the West End, but I often strike up conversations with strangers, I know and get along with my neighbours, have made good friends...
Thank you for the Honest accounts highlighting some of the struggles we face behind the picturesque cities we live in. Keep up the quality and refreshing content!!
i've lived in Vancouver for ~7 years, initially coming to UBC. It was easy to make friends when I lived in residence but as soon as I moved off campus and later got a job, I felt very isolated. I honestly don't think the people are the problem. Vancouver is full of diverse people but there are little to no community events, parades, or festivals to facilitate connection. Even the Canada Day celebration here is lame. The events that do exist often sell tickets at least $25 a pop. I was also shocked at how early everything closes. It really kills the nightlife.
I have been living in Vancouver for a little over 6 years and this video resonated with me. When the individual said that "outsiders here have to always initiate" I thought "YES!" There is also a lot of flaking and ghosting here. And the connections you make never last or run deep. People are looking for connection but Vancouverites have to understand is what people are truly looking for is genuine friendship, their "Tribe" and not "moments" of connection here and there. I also once worked at a furniture store at the corner of Granville and Broadway for two years where the management/staff were two-faced and judgemental without ever getting to know you. Flat mates who you have cooked dinners with, spent Christmas' together, worked with, and babysat their kids, would eventually ghost/flake you and abandon your friendship for hypertrophy friendships. I believe it s easier for those that are born and raised here to connect with others easily. But, as an outsider, it is a challenge.
I got very emotional watching this. I moved here in 2007, and I did the norm for meeting people - joined multiple groups, was a volunteer for a non-profit, got married, invited my neighbours for a dinner party, friends over for BBQs, etc. ALMOST NOBODY returned the favour. it was soul-crushing. And half of the few lasting friends I made back then have moved away, and now we rarely email each other. I don't know what is wrong with people here. Most Vancouverites I've met are paranoid, just plain mean, and socially awkward. They are not polite; they are INHIBITED. I've literally had people scream at me when I've given them directions downtown and on transit. Don't even get me started on working here. I worked all over the US and have never met such dysfunctional co-workers. If my son were not in school, I would head back east. maybe it's all the empty condos and homes, or the high rate of transience. Vancouver may be beautiful, but it has NO SOUL. it feels like everyone here is just out to take advantage of as many people as they can. My remaining Vancouver friends are recent American immigrants.
oh wow Smilodon, that's tough. I came to Ottawa and was there for almost two years, I'd say it's bit more chill then this but I pretty much can get this from the outside view what you just mentioned . Most of the people just say word reserved, and I found it pretty much extreme in some cases, the professionalism and punctuality to some stuff is getting intense , but why I was checked to write this comment is "socially awkward" I remember asking this one of my friend from first startup i worked for there, and that was: do you think lot of young people here in school/after school are socially awkward? and she agreed on that , and i have it written in me till this point .sometimes that professionality gets in the way of just being you . but what I think it is keep on forgiving and just give without hoping to get back, that kinda can open the doors for something that will be interesting, hugs and blessings my online friend :)
Same here me and this other colleague agreed to invite everyone from my college class to a small get together hike or picnic at the park and nobody was interested like Jesus wtf is the point of a group chT
I grew up in Vancouver and moved to Alberta for the first time in my early 20s and it was such an relief to meet people that were open to socializing and being friends. I have met people from all over the country and can confirm that Vancouver has the most closed off and socially awkward people. Outside of the beautiful nature there is not much city life and culture, too many overpriced, empty apartments and overall just a bunch miserable looking, unhappy individuals. Best place on earth? Not likely.....
Born in Vancouver, raised in Burnaby, and currently living in Surrey, but I gotta say majority of the people I've met in each area have been welcoming. There's definitely the outliers but I have lasting connections from everywhere I've been here, despite the new areas :)
As a non-white, non-North American who has lived in many towns and cities in USA, I find Vancouver is not as warm and open as Austin, TX--not even close. But to live in, it beats most small towns or Vegas. I think the reputation of loneliness comes from more people migrating here than born locally/regionally. In Austin, most folks are white and Texan, and in a very open frame of mind to have fun with strangers, who are typically like them from other parts of TX/OK. A cool brown stranger can easily insert himself into that warm mingling context. Also Austin has cultural activities--especially downtown drinking and listening to music; Vancouverites just keep climbing hills.
Cities in general are the loneliest places. Has to be mentioned that in Vancouver people are kind, helpful and polite like in no other city I've ever been to.
For me, the only good thing about Vancouver was the nature factor, the proximity of beach and mountain close by. About the people, I found them superficial and distant. As for taking the initiative, even when you do, their reaction was always "oh, yeah, you must be lonely," and they didn't have the time then, suggested to "hook up some other time for sure" but they never came back with that promise. It was hard to make friends, some level of connection. After 7 years, I moved to Montreal over 12 years ago. Here the entire energy I feel is different. On top of being much more a diverse cultural mix, people are more tolerant, exhibit more of a 'solidarity' spirit. In general, they allow others to be human (eg. much less car honking on the street at the immediate second of change of traffic light) and also expect the same kind of understanding. Things move more smoothly and warmly.
I spent a year in Vancouver, from Scandinavia originally, and it was the loneliest time of my life. I sometimes now get nostalgic over my time there as I do like the nature and other things but being reminded of this seriously depressing loneliness was rly good. To basically not look back with rose colored glasses
I think it’s honestly a matter of perspective and personal experience. Any big city will have issues like this in my opinion... I live in São Paulo and people are always so busy with their life and getting to places that they will hardly interact - or even look at you - on the street, but at college, school, work or even a restaurant things may be different because you have more time to connect. I’ve spent a month living in Vancouver 2 years ago and It was honestly the most pleasing experience of my life, the people were extremely incredible to me. Loved this video! It’s always so cool to see different perspectives and opinions from different people :)
I've lived the states, to Ontario, to Vancouver. Vancouver is absolutely beautiful. The city is full of tourists, foreigners, and business people. Everyone is polite just keep to themselves and I don't think that's a bad thing. Vs New Yorkers who yell at each other. Finding local groups on Facebook is the best way to meet people. There's a group for everyone! I'm also the type to be a lone wolf all I need is me and my family kind of used to living far from family. I can see weather causing this as well its mostly gloomy which cab be depressing. I wish it were sunnier like California!
Really? Wow your are lucky. I'm latin and we completely different, we create real connections and friends. And after living in many places, people here are very selfish. Yes is beautiful and yes people in New York yell, but they build real connections and they are interested in you in some way.
I moved to Vancouver 28 years ago from Ontario and I have to say I was really impressed with the answers people gave in the video. The one thing that stood out for me in the video is how many people came from other places. With such a massive influx of new people to a city it's not surprising it takes time to make connections.
Question for you James - how do you think the Victoria experience might be better? Am moving west from YYZ and think Victoria may be the better option. But am not sure. Thanks!
@@teutonic2020 Hi C L I personally like Victoria and there's a possibility I would move there. Hours of sunlight is tops and the mildest weather in the country. It really depends on what you want out of your city. As you probably know Victoria has the largest population of 60-90 year olds in the country. Many young people dislike Victoria and can't wait to move as there isn't much of a night life. It's also a government city as Victoria is the Capital of B.C. so there are a lot of government jobs/employees. Other complaints I hear is if you're a frequent traveller people say it's hard to get off the Island. Which I find a little strange as they have an international airport. People say they feel stuck there. And I say, isn't that why you moved to the Island? My aunt and uncle retired in Nanaimo from Peterborough, ON and my uncle's sister and husband liked it so much when they visited they moved from Toronto to Nanaimo. But they're all in their early 70's now. I hope this was helpful, good luck!
@@25Soupy This is very helpful James - very much appreciate your time in writing this detailed response. The more detail you provided, the more I became certain I would like Victoria. 👍
@@25Soupy as a long-time Victoria resident, I agree with some of what you point out. While there are a lot of retirees, there's also usually a large population of young people in the city due to the many post-secondary colleges and universities, although this year, due to covid, there's been a huge drop in the number of students in the city. It's also true that it is a lot more sunny than Vancouver, although winters still feel dark a gloomy since there's no snow on the ground. I semi-agree with the travel opinion - it's expensive to leave the island with your car if you want to go anywhere ($70-$100 depending on timing) and it takes 1.5 hours to travel to the mainland. As far as airports go, there are plenty of flights to domestic destinations such as Toronto and Montreal, but international flights are less common and more expensive, as are flights in general when compared to Vancouver. Still a nice place to live!
I remember going to Vancouver few times during my early teens staying with my Aunty. She lived in North Van. I loved the scenery there and when it was snow I was so excited as I’m from Australia. I had a great time cause relatives would take us around. But she often mentioned Vancouver people being cold and how she missed living in the US.
I'm born and raised in Vancouver. I've noticed the cliqueness of vancouver since high school. I've realized that for some reason my group of friends in highschool did not like meeting others that they don't know. Like when I would invite them to another friend's party. They would comment that they don't know anyone there and don't want to party with randoms.... And that struck me on how vancouver has this clique culture of people being comfortable within their own circle and refuse to meet others or incorporate others into their life. They experience had made me change schools. I'm naturally a social able guy. Knowing that my group of friends refuse to meet new people did not sit well with me. Especially in highschool when all you want to do is meet people and have fun. I changed school so I can meet other kids in the vancouver school district. And when I did I made new friends who introduced me to more people. At a point it really is a certain type of people in Vancouver who are clique. There are others here that would like to meet others. However, it is still hard to break down the initial wall and get into the circle. I really do believe it has alot to do with the fact that there isn't much to do in Vancouver. Not much to do as in socialable events/places. We do have your bars and clubs. However, drinking here is expensive and also those places are not necessarily the ideal place to form new friendships but more a place to flirt. It also doesn't help that people will go as groups with friends creating a vibe that they are there to socialize with their group and not others. Alot of my friends that are not originally from here always ask me. What is there to do in Vancouver. And I honestly can't answer them. Other then hikes, parks, snow sports, bars and clubs.... There's honestly not much of anything else in this city. It's really sad and depressing. We don't have any places for people to connect and have fun... No wonder why we're called the no fun city. I'm hoping to change that.
Well put. I noticed the same thing back in high school. Everything was very cliquey at multiple high schools I attended. There's no "normal" people who live here. Everyone is some exercise nut, skier, hiker, biker, well paid tech worker, hipster barista, etc etc. I have yet to meet anyone who is just chill and likes hanging out without needing to show off their personality/money/stuff (other than the stoners, but you shouldn't need to get baked just to have a chill hangout). A person could make minimum wage here and still find a way to think of themselves as better than everyone else. I personally don't care about any of the superficial stuff and I have an impossible time connecting to these fake ass people. And comfort is so huge for everyone here as well. I ask someone if they wanna watch the football/soccer/basketball game, any game, and no they don't care about that. OK fine how about video games, oh its not the one they play and they don't want to learn it. It gets to a certain point where its like I'm game to entertain any new interests just to make a friend. I'll try that new food, game, sport. I'll start hiking, biking, and laugh at the hipster jokes if it means making a connection. But it always feels so forced. The few times I have made real connections I have been ghosted. Vancouverites love to ghost each other. The odd time you hit it off with someone they will just randomly stop responding to any messages or are always too busy to hang out. I've lost friends simply because they couldn't be bothered to spend time with me more than 1-2 times a year. Even when we lived just a few blocks away they still were always too busy to chill for a couple hours. I've talked to multiple people online in different Vancouver groups and every time it sounds like we might get along they just ghost me. I ask if they have social media, or a phone number, and they just ignore the convo. I mean why be in groups looking to hang out with like minded people if someone offers to do something you just ignore them before even meeting up once. Or they'll play a video game with me once or twice then forget I exist after that.
@@cloudcloud8486 I agree with you bro. It’s quite sad how disconnected we’ve become especially this past year. Got an Instagram? I’d love to reach out lol
Completely agree, I’m born and raised here and I was shocked when I was in Montreal at how much cool stuff there was going on FOR FREE!! All the “events” here are basically just shopping, tents to buy stuff, very little else to really do. Super overrated here.
I grew up in west van/lived in the west end for many years. People have their posse/clique. It is VERY difficult to break into one of these cliques. Been like that in Vancouver since I was a teenager in the 1970s. When I lived in Montreal a few years ago now, I could not believe how genuinely friendly the people were that I met. At Christmas and New Year's not only was I invited to multiple people's homes as a newcomer - they basically made me prove to them that I had somewhere else to be before they would take no for an answer. People in Vancouver simply do NOT invite you to their home for a meal, and it is 50-50 that they will show up if you invite them to your place for a meal/party. I really think that (even before social media was so prominent, has changed folks' behaviors so much) there was/is just a general lack of social confidence. Some kind of fear of genuine connection/personal intimacy. Once folks have gained access into one of the precious cliques, they hoard this contact social interaction like a Scrooge with his money. It is weird - but also, as many comments on here indicate - it is a behavior that is accepted (reluctantly) and eventually adapted and embraced by newcomers to Van. It is really sad. Moved from Van after 40+ years there, last fall. Now live in a small town outside of Montreal. Zero regrets. Vancouver is way too stressful financially and socially. It is a relief to not live there anymore. En plus, I love a good adventure. ;-) All the best to all the posters on this video.
God. You are painfully on-point. Everyone I know since elementary and high-school are still in the same-circles, mostly, even after university. It was one class from kindergarden to the college/uni graduation. They may go to different schools first, but somehow *everyone* funnels into UBC. There's always enough of us in any group here such that we never have to make new friends. And if they are "new", we have a mutual friend anyways, so we probably heard of each other early on. It's incredibly cliquey and any moments of intimacy get hoarded like there is no tomorrow. Of course, I've done the same because I was born in Vancouver. I'm a massive hyprocrite, but at least the isolation here is true. Moved now to Calgary. Vancouver is a damn village.
I lived in Vancouver for years it's so unfriendly. I was born in Nova Scotia extremely friendly place. I have moved back to NS feel way more at home here ❤
I'm from Victoria and when ever I've gone to Vancouver I have deffiently felt that friendliness... like she was saying in victoria people will smile at you as they walk by or like when you take the buss you say thank you to the buss driver as you get off. Lol every time that I get of the skytrain I littlerly yell thank you to the air haha. I'm also a cashier and I've had so many people tell me about the huge difference in the way people act from there compared to here.
Being there last year, Victoria is also less fast paced than Vancouver. Both cities I found friendly, but Victoria was definitely way more laid back. Vancouver can be too, but like other Urban cities it's a busy place and people should want to make time out of their day to befriend someone, but that's not always the case with some of the people in life we come across.
You Moved to vancouver to be a cashier? Jeesus woman. why put yourself through that misery. Victoria is 1000x better than Vancouver-plenty of cashier jobs here too
Great video. I lived in Vancouver from 2007-2011 and have worked there many times over the past 28 years. Van is one of my favorite cities in the world, but it is definitely the loneliest place I have ever lived, by far. Having lived in Los Angeles and New York, I was used to strangers casually interacting with one another on subways, in restaurants or just making eye contact and saying "hi" while walking down the street. It creates a wonderful sense of community and extended family; like "we're all in this together". Vancouverites do not interact with each other as a rule. Nobody makes eye contact on the street, nobody talks to you when you're on line at the supermarket, nobody says "bless you" to someone when they sneeze on the Skytrain (I said, "bless you" once to someone after they sneezed and everyone looked at me like I said the "N" word). It sounds trivial, but it adds up after awhile and it makes it very difficult to make friends. Also, there is zero vibe there, very little "joie de vivre". Like "fun" has been outlawed. I later discovered that, for some reason, Vancouverites are afraid of casual human contact but once you break the ice, most will join in. I did find that Vancouver is at its most friendliest when the weather is nice and sunny, which unfortunately is only a couple of months a year. Having come from Southern California and used to year round sunny, warm weather, I was shocked at how the 5-9 consecutive months of dark, cold, overcast, gloomy, wet weather depressed the hell out of me. During these months (which is sadly most of the year), Vancouver changes and the city is at its loneliest, saddest, angriest, most violent, filthy and isolating. I saw more fights, more arrests, more open drunkeness and meth using during those months. Having said all of that, I love Vancouver and have fantastic friends there that I will have for the rest of my life. Also, there is no better sushi ANYWHERE; not even Japan. No city is perfect, but Vancouver is too schizophrenic a city for me to live full time, but I go up to visit every year during it's "happy" months.
I love and agree everything you said until the end. Ask any Japanese, sushi in Vancouver IS NOT the best and not even comparable to sushi in Japan. Majority of Japanese restaurants in Vancouver are run by non-Japanese chefs/owners don’t have interest nor respect to Japanese culture. Yes, there are few good Japanese restaurants regardless of the nationality of the chef, yet I won’t even compare to sushi in Tokyo.
Don’t know where u lived but sounds like you loved around a lot of mentally ill people and maybe close to the crackhead area? I wouldn’t generalize Vancouver to the extent that u did. That’s not the majority of people.
I've had a number of friends over the years remark about how Vancouver was a tough city to figure out on a first go... But, eventually it clicked for them when they understood the "activity culture". They started skiing, running, cycling playing volleyball, climbing... Whatever. It doesn't matter. But, finding your active jam is what Vancouver's 'culture' is all about IMHO. That's how these people found the friendly in the city.
I feel that way in Toronto. And for that reason I want to move to Vancouver. When I visited it just felt like people are way more friendlier. But it could be different when you live there. At least you get the scenic view.
When I moved to Metro Vancouver in the 1st year, I literary made myself accepting of the unfriendliness and it really sucks! Meeting strangers on the streets almost feels like a violation. I've seen many good people here and I love all of my international friends (which I don't have a lot of opportunities to make friends with on Vancouver island) but I still find it intimidating to seek connection, like an invisible force that keeps me away from them.
I just moved to Vancouver a month ago and it's definitely been an tough adjustment. Luckily I had friends here already, but it's definitely hard to meet people (but honestly it's kinda like that in any city). I defs agree that going out is crazy pricey here. It was different in Montreal, where everything was cheap and people weren't afraid to strike up a convo. But also, people are just terrible at starting conversations nowadays. Making friends requires effort. Love all your videos btw!
Thank you Fraser! I would agree that it's honestly similar in most cities. And making friends 100% requires effort, striking up conversations with new people is one thing, but the hardest part is the fact that creating genuine friendships requires you to put in a ton of conscious time and effort into nourishing said relationships. And a lot of people don't understand that! Thanks for the support btw 🙏🏼
really? i was very close to Munich during my visit to Prague. I was dying to visit germany...munich and berlin, but I unfortunately ran out of time and couldn't do so during my visit.
Lived in Vancouver my entire life so I haven't been forced to meet as many new people and creat new connections. But a few old roommates of mine that were from out of town brought this up with me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I don't think the city is "unfriendly" just very reserved. People tend to keep to themselves, and even close friends of mine have a hard time interacting with other friends of mine when introduced. Also one of the most boring cities in the world. Literally nothing happens here.
Several things keep people apart or discourage reaching out to people in Vancouver, mostly having to do with economic pressures of housing hyperinflation and stagnant wages. Keep in mind that these things can work subconsciously as pressures to AVOID the disappointment of reaching out to make new friends, keep up friendships, keeping people further apart. 1. High housing costs limit recreational spending -> less ability to follow through on meeting and less opportunity for meetings 2. High housing costs, SMALL units only thing affordable to vast majority -> less space for entertaining, fewer people invited over (if any), must choose intimates and exclude others. 3. High housing costs -> live farther from job, long commutes -> tired out and unwilling to commit to significant additional travel to meet prospective friends or even old friends. 4. High housing costs, stagnant wages -> many people working long hours/multiple jobs -> less free time for anything but necessities or recuperation. 5. Cultural misunderstanding due to lack of cultural education, leads to people feeling awkward and uncomfortable, or unsure as to signals. There are many small ways that folkways (what is polite vs impolite in everyday interactions) can make people consider others rude when they were actually trying to be respectful. 6. High burnout: high cost of living causes people to work too much, then "go dark" periodically due to burnout because of bad working conditions, etc 7. High mobility: constantly moving from neighbourhood to neighbourhood seeking lower rent or better quality of life combine with long commutes to periodically break developing bonds
Vancouver people are very friendly and polite, it's easy to have a random conversation in the streets. What is hard is to make connections, it doesn't go further than 3 min talking about the weather and the rain, if you go further you could be mistaken as you are looking for something else. There're many different cultures and backgrounds but every culture just stick with their own culture, and let alone if you don't speak a very good English locals make it harder to let you in in their circle. Many international students that are here temporarily add to the table. I love Vancouver but it's hard to fit in at times.
I'm from Calgary and when I lived in Vancouver for 4 years I didn't make any friends with anybody from Vancouver I ended up making friends with everyone from Calgary that lived in Vancouver. Calgarians are way cooler and fun to hang out with✌️😎
I plan to move to North Van...I moved to the Island from Calgary as I wanted to be closer to nature but over here its very hard to make friends. Polite but very cliquey. I agree Calgarians are cooler! Hopefully I can meet fellow Calgs in N.van.
The guy @ 12:23 is spitting out so much truth. I grew up in North Van and it was one of the best experiences ever. You walk down the street to say hi to anyone and everyone and enjoy a bit of small talk. Everyone’s friendly and welcoming. I now live in Vancouver and continue to treat people how I was treated when going up. One example is when I say ‘hi’ or ‘have a good night’ to people in my building, I get a ‘deer in the headlight’ look. There’s a lot of nice folks in Vancouver but I do agree no one initiates it. Immigration could be one issue where the new immigrants aren’t as well integrated into the society (whether they are getting used to the culture, climate, or language) and it creates this division between groups. Money, of course, is another issue altogether. It’s an expensive city and people have to work longer hours to make ends meet. Just the reality of it. If anyone’s in Greater Vancouver Area and are feeling lonely, please reach out! There are beautiful souls all around the city :)
What the guy in the white shirt at 08:40 is saying is actually kind of interesting. That different countries have different things that help them bonding (patriotism, culture, etc). But the more different cultures and languages and so on a country and its people welcomes, the bigger the influence of that on loneliness could be. That our longing for harmony and welcoming other people and their cultural differences to our country and our lives may actually promote our loneliness (and theirs, too!). Because it gets harder to connect over something we have in common. That's kinda scary. A scientific paper on whether that really has influence on loneliness would be interesting to read.
Great video Brad! Love how open the conversations feel, it’s refreshing. In regards to how I feel about my own town- I live in Tulsa Oklahoma right now, I’m a college dropout living with my parents so I don’t have many connections besides everyone I knew in high school. I don’t live in the downtown so I can’t exactly talk about that area specifically (downtown is pretty small though btw), but from what I’ve gathered from the city as a whole in the 8-9 years I’ve been here is that everyone’s just kind of doing their own thing. It kind of feels the same way as Vancouver like you’re talking about here, a bit lonely and a bit disconnected. Im actually working on a Disconnection short film script rn. Anyways one time I saw a quote that said “Tulsa is full of lurkers”. There are a lot of people watching things happen but not very many getting out and doing things and making things happen. That’s not to say there aren’t creative people here, there is definitely some of that energy but not a lot. Just lots of people tryna make it. With that said I hope I can build a community and connection with people here through my ideas, the main struggle I’m seeing is that people are more falsely connected to things through their phones than they are to what’s going on in the physical world.
Some really great points made here. I moved here almost 6 years ago (my spouse is from here) and after living in several other cities in Canada, I did find Vancouver the hardest place to make friends/connections. Both my husband and I agree that the city seems to have a behaviorally conservative tone to it. In Toronto, our friend group was pretty diverse in background, but there was still a strong sense of social cohesion, which I find lacking here. Several people mentioned the cost of living/lack of affordable and quality housing - which is a huge challenge and does absorb a lot of one's time and energy to find, maintain, thus leaving little time for leisure fun.
Vancouver is one of the most rapidly changing cities in Canada and perhaps around the world. The human psyche and behavior cannot change as quickly to the pace of the economic and cultural change that is adhered to this small city. Hence, people become resentful to others due to wealth, sad due to lack of affordability and frustrated with the rapid change in economic success reflected by others. The politicians are simple, they look at any policy from the standpoint of economic success, sadly, abandonment of social-cultural growth is not in their narrative. Fear, frustration, anger and depression - are the factors leading to loneliness and the people who live in a highly populated and expensive city as Vancouver - will continue to suffer this plight.
I am from Vancouver and the driving thing is pretty accurate!! Like I drove in different province and I suddenly start to feel more welcomed!! This should definitely change in Vancouver!!
I found the exact same thing when I lived in Victoria too. I was told a lot that it was because so many people are transient and so they don’t want to waste their time with people who might not stay.
As the line goes about Thomas Crown in the movie, "The Thomas Crown Affair", talking about the main character's persona, "a self involved loner". This describes Vancouver perfectly in my opinion.
Vancouver is the city in the Matrix. Hard to explain, there's just something odd or fake about it. Its almost as if people here are AI walking around to make it seem like a real place. Sometimes you're driving down a block or something and you dont see a single soul. As if the AI didnt load. Drive around a corner and suddenly you see cars and people. Moved here from LA. People aren't unfriendly, it's almost as if people here aren't really interested in much human interaction with strangers.
A lot of fakeness for sure. There is a weird phase of not wanting to get to a phase of friendship in Vancouver. Multiple times I've encountered the polite Vancouverite that you spend 20-30 minutes chatting, but when the ice is broken, they are reluctant to exchange contacts for future "friend building".
I agree man. I for one, would love to make friends, It just seems that everyone around me has this "get away from me" vibe. When I go travelling it's so easy to talk to strangers. Not here.
I moved from Alberta but I was living in USA before. I'm latin so for me the people here are very selfish and sorry for say this. Is like they don't need at all the human contact, is like they are pretty confortable living the life alone. For me is very natural smile or trying to help or small talk and people here seems don't need or like that. The actitud is another thing, I notice that the actitud is like " don't be on my way".. My question is: Are they happy? Is this people the new human? The human of the future that only need social media contact? I have been in date apps, Meet ups, going coffee shops and still after 3 years the connections are not deep enough to say that I have friends in Vancouver. Lucky, i have my friends from my entire life and family to eventually have a normal conversation..
Good doc. Raised in Vancouver since the70's and yes, one of the most common things said about Vancouver is how hard it is to make friends. People are very self involved. If it wasn't for the beauty of the city, I probably would have left a long time ago and still wonder to this day at age 55, why I haven't. Even with the pandemic of Covid-19, not much has changed in terms of sociability. It really is not much different. However, one of the benefits of Covid is now I get more space in the grocery store line-up, no longer have someone breathing down my neck, in a hurry to check out. Lucky me.
Multiculture place, Vancouver BC. It is really hard to communicate with each other if we have different languages and beliefs. However, it is fine though, literally fine. You can just look around (many beautiful places in Vancouver) and maybe you meet your faith (friend, lover etc.)
It’s totally possible in other cities to communicate with others who speak different languages and have different beliefs. Here in Montréal, it’s really commun!
I often tell people that some of the most wholesome conversations I've had were with complete strangers at a bus stop or on the bus. I live in Arizona but as someone who used to be a loner my whole school career I found it easier to talk with older people. During my Junior year of high school I would take public transit back home instead of the school bus because I had no friends in school but on the public bus I noticed the adults tended to stick to themselves and that made me feel comfortable enough to approach people. I always found it kinda surprising that they'd react surprised when I'd talk with them. As a teenager I had this silly belief that ALL adults had a fulfilling social life but I quickly learned that I was wrong. Many times the strangers would welcome my approach with a smile after appearing kinda unapproachable at first. A simple conversation about the bus being a few minutes late could turn into a conversation about alcoholism, the universe, our personal struggles or a laugh about something. And when the time came for one of us to leave the bus it felt nice saying goodbye as i or they left the bus. Occasionally I'd see the same people on the bus again so we'd become bus buddies. The public bus helped me develop my social skills because I was no longer the outcast like on my school bus......no instead we were all strangers on public transit. Approaching a group of friends was harder for me than it was to approach an individual. Those experiences on the bus made me realize that I could do something similar the next and final year of my school career. I realized that although I was a loner and had been one for all that time, I could apply the skills I developed on the bus towards other loners at school. So on my first day I befriended some freshman dude who couldn't find a place to sit. Our spot outside sucked because there was no shade but we didn't mind so much because we weren't loners anymore. Over the next few weeks I had approached another dude sitting by himself and then we became friends. This new guy knew some other dude and then eventually there were 4 of us. By the end of the school year there was 8 of us. We went from "weirdos", "loners", and "outcasts" to a group of friends.
It is so refreshing to see other people of color express their opinion about it too, especially black people like me. I’ve been in ‘Vancouver’ for 4 years (New West > Surrey > Langley) and moving here was one of the best decisions I made. Yeah, it’s hard to meet the right people, but you have to be very intentional and try different things until you find what you’re looking for.
Man I would love to live here. I'm so introverted that I literally have days where you won't see me or hear from me. I love my peace and Independence. My moto is less people, less drama.
I'm like u bro. I'm from Brazil and here the people r too "freindly" but just on the good moments tho. When u r screwed none of em got ur back. They always wanna get something outta you. I prefer to live in a place where people don't make eye contact than to live in a fakeness and gossiping place like here.
@@davynhainstock7503 Maybe because when you don't talk to anyone it feels lonely, and being in the city helps that plus I wouldn't live in the country if that's what your referring too
I live in Farmington, New Mexico. I feel completely isolated, (it's not a big town). But I've lived in a few different places in my life and I've always felt this way. I think it's more what you said at the end than where we live. I'm 40 and I was never taught how to really connect with people. And now I feel at the end of a very long life, while being relatively young, and feeling hopeless about it all. I wish I had been taught to become comfortable talking and meeting with new people without self judgement and not putting so much expectation on every success or failure.
I lived in vancouver for 4 years many years ago. 100% the place is lonely and self isolating. Ppl don't talk and avoid others. They also dislike ppl from the East coast, especially Toronto. The place isn't a multi racial society either. There are not many ppl from the middle east and virtually nobody who's of African decent. I had ppl from van be shocked when they arrived at Pearson Airport...... that they haven't seen so many Indian and black people in one area..... I facepalmed so hard.....
@@NestyAngel maybe Burnaby is different but i feel like theres a lot of indian and middle eastern ppl here but def not like Toronto. I feel its more recent immigrants here so we dont notice them and cant really connect
I don't think Toronto is any friendlier. Toronto is very diverse. I do find that a lot of people there also stick to their own cultural groups, which can make people who aren't from those specific cultures, feel more lonely. Most of my friends in Vancouver are NOT from Vancouver, they are all from other provinces or other countries. In Toronto, where Im born and raised, because of the busy lifestyles, it was so hard to get people to even keep in touch, seems like they only want to meet up for birthdays and thats it.
Toronto is an ugly-looking city, but by god, when I moved from Vancouver to Toronto my dating life just went next level from where it was. More people, more diversity, people are looking to meet new people and try new things, it's amazing.
I grew up in a small town in Northern BC. Quesnel. Most people from Vancouver think it’s located on Vancouver island... 5 days after my high school graduation I moved from my home town to Kamloops. Living with family, trying to figure out my why. Shorty after not finding work, I got a job down in Vancouver for door to door sales job. I noticed soon after knocking in different areas of the city people were mainly friendly but at times of course the thought of a stranger at their door was uncomfortable. Burnaby specifically and the closer I was knocking in the “city” the harder it got to get to sit down and talk to someone. It intrigued me to know why, but I ended up moving to Calgary and Edmonton for 6 months each for the same job. People in both Edmonton & Calgary were extremely nice and willing to connect. I would get invited in for dinners at clients houses when I was knocking in -35 very frequently! I was astonished on how different it was to Vancouver! Fasting forward... I now have settled myself in Kelowna! Working in hospitality I made an amazing friends all across the city. I’m very fortunate to have connected with people here because it is so beautiful. Come check it out, you’ll have a place to stay & I’d be more than willing to be your tour guide! 😊
I would like to see you attempt a challenge in a known rough country to connect to strangers in like Sweden, but I think that's a bit of a high budget plan for now maybe. Up here in northern Europe we practically ignore others while walking around cities and so on. Making quick connections is probably one of the hardest things to do there
I don't live in Vancouver but I think at the end of the day, you are responsible for the outcomes of your life. If you really want to make friends and connections, you will take action and chatter people. It's a numbers game, you'll make mutual connections eventually. It's important to take a look at ourselves first and figure out what kind of life we want to live, and if our daily habits align with that desired lifestyle.
Great video full of insight, thank you! I'm in the process of immigrating to either Vancouver or Toronto from Cape Town, South Africa. In my city it's also quite difficult to make new connections as people tend to stick to their social groups. But as mentioned a couple of times in this video, it's up to you to put youself out there and work on making new connections. At least I'm a creator, so i'll be out and about all the time. Creators also tend to find one another, and it's a strong similarity which you can then use to start building on your new connections. Also, I lived in London UK for 2 years, and I'm sure Van can't be as lonely as it is over there.
A reason why people aren't as connected can maybe be explained by the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Connection and sense of belonging comes after basic needs like having a place to live (rent). So when people can barely keep a roof over their heads, it's hard to spend a lot of time and energy trying to form connections. I moved to Hong Kong( one of the most expensive places to live in the world) from Toronto a few years ago and I've hardly made any genuine friends, language barrier, and also, I feel like the connections that I do have feel artificial somehow
That was actually so true, the East Coast mentality. I came to Nova Scotia in 2019 from India and people are just so wonderfully kind and so human. Everyone smiles at each other, strangers just wave at each other and start random conversations. Everyone helps everyone. Of course there are a few exceptions but it's the most beautiful community in Canada.
I've been here for almost 6 years now. I definitely agree with a lot of this. It seems a long time ago since you could speak to strangers, smile at people, and make genuine connections. It's such a beautiful city and it would be so much better if the social aspects and true human connection were easier. If you go on any bus or Skytrain, 99.9% of people have their heads buried in their phones.
I'm lonely and stressed about my job security. With how expensive living here is, if I lose my job then I'm sorta fucked. Going on CERB last year is financially ruining me with taxes owed now piled ontop of other expenses, and I'm stuck without much of a safety net because I basically don't know anyone I don't work with, who're also all... "working class" we'll say.. I'm poor enough that I can't afford to move away to another city without taking on enough debt to cripple me if I don't get a new similarly waged job, and am still currently paying off debt from years ago when I was first.. made to be living on my own, let's say. I used to take out payday loans to pay my rent during my minimum wage days, and haven't entirely financially recovered from that. It's an expensive hellhole with enough sketchiness to keep everyone paranoid and distrustful, is stuck in an opioid endemic due to the high rate of homeless, and oftentimes has some of the most depressing weather keeping everyone locked up inside through the pissing rain. Covid just makes me even more distrustful of people, but the fact that I'm sorta conditioned to keep to myself basically doesn't change much. The only differences I notice are, I have to wear a mask, my job is 5 times harder, and I'll probably be unemployed by the end of the year.
The cost of living has stripped the city of its soul. Everyone has their nose to the ground trying to make it.
Yesh thats why people all do coke. So they csn socialize. Why cokes massive I literally know soccer moms who use it as a social tool monthly. Thanks sell out govement letting casinos launder money... and putting no limits on foreign endearment with that money
Even though I don't live in Vancouver, I think this exactly why Vancouver seems unfriendly. I live on the island and feel it's stupid expensive to live here, yet Vancouver is way more expensive. Lots of people are exhausted trying to make ends meet and climb the ladder to success. Hard to be friendly when you're exhausted all the time.
@@Confidentk9sCa is this one of the cons overwork culture
@@Confidentk9sCa What people fail to realize is there is no ladder to success. Opportunities that they see are all there are. The government has pretty much high jacked people's inability to make ends meet by disallowing investments and economic opportunities due to excessive regulations and taxes, all of which are supposed to be a "progressive" step in the right direction.
@@MrNncon those are white people problems.
I m italian living in Vancouver. 3 years of loneliness. I ve never expierenced something like that before. This city is a beautiful postcard without soul. Sorry Vancouver :(
Same here, moved from Italy about 8 years ago and you can definitely feel the difference. My first 3,4 years were quite challenging as far as building connections, there’s a lot of trial and error that plays into it. La cosa principale che ti posso suggerire è di non mollare, le persone vere esistono ma sono difficili da trovare qui in Vancouver. Per un italiano la vita sociale può essere complicata al inizio siccome non ci sono tanti di noi a Vancouver. In ogni caso, sono sempre aperto a conoscere più italiani, se vuoi mandami un messaggio e sarò grato di aiutarti. I wish you the best of luck going forward :)✊🏼🇮🇹🇨🇦
id love to meet you in Van
It is one of the most beautiful places on earth on the outside, inside, I agree with many comments, we have an empty soul city, and most of the well off people don‘t stay here year round, me included. I plan to stay 6 months in Europe and eventually full time.
My insta is @iamjennylowe maybe we can connect and soon have coffee, (for real) :)
don't lose your soul
Grew up here in Vancouver, and all my life I thought I was the only one who thought it was the most mind numbing place in the entire world.
You are definitely not alone, but there is a big community of people who also feel the opposite and are trying to make Vancouver a better place :)
Yeah it is the cities fault that introverts are... introverted...
Ya well, it's called corporation ism. A group of people go out and find an activity they like to do. The city season happening. They regulate the activity. They make sure there's an equal amount of gay people, minority people, Aboriginal people, elderly people...
Rinse and repeat.
The rich sit back with everything and weak to see what as peasants are doing with our lives. As soon as we break away from culture with Something new is packaged and sold.
@@ryananderson5202 Huh?
@@andrewjensen8189 Introverted doesn't mean anti-social. I'm extremely introverted but I still talk with lots of people in my area and have no problem making friends. I don't live in Vancouver though.
I'm born and raised in vancouver. People are shocked when I'm willing to talk to them further than the standard small talk. I sold my ps3 to a guy who just got out of jail and we talked for almost 3 hours and it was extremely fulfilling. I got a different perspective at life and so much more from that guy.
I agree, from my experience van is very cliquey. Everybody stays within their comfort zone and don’t see the value in branching out. I know a lot of very arrogant people in van who think that it’s not worth spending time to know people unless that directly benefits them. Admittedly, I was very arrogant as well. It was not until I started feeling lonely, not because lack of relationships, rather, lack of any meaningful connection that I realized that this mentality is toxic and if I’m going to meet any good people, I need to change. I’ve been in so many relationships and groups where everybody just agrees with one another and everybody seems afraid of confrontation, even if that means something as simple as going out for a meal at a place you hate. People are willing to cast aside their own opinions and identity in order to feel like they fit in.
I think i agree with the idea of the ideia of the money issue, a lot of immigrants are too busy struggling with the visa and making money for a better life, so they are "to busy"with work. But if every body feel lonely if one person break this glass it will be more connected. Another point is the awkward stuff, man this is so millennial (I`m one) we are much more apprehensive about what the other people are thinks about our statement than with our selfs.
Agreed its a privilege to have access to all of these different languages cultures and even the same ones.
In my experience, I’ve had some wonderful talks to folks I have purchased or sold items to.
You get to meet people from all walks of life. Truly a blessing for us in Vancouver with it being so unique and multicultural here.
Thanks for sharing such a lovely memory ❤️
I moved to Vancouver to be with my fiance. When I first came here I'd say hello to people and she thought i was nuts, people would give me weird looks. Eventually I stopped. I've never felt so miserable in a city in all my life. I convinced her to leave and she's the happiest I've ever seen her. Life is too short to live in a city like Vancouver.
Dang now you've said it, I realize i'm just desensitized to how withdrawn people are there. Always showing embarrassment on your behalf for harmless actions. Absolutely ridiculous. Lol!
where'd you move to?
You should have replied by why are you starting at me
Best comment ever!
I completely agree that many cities / humans around the world feel the same way. For someone born and raised here in Vancouver I definitely understand what the feeling is like. I remember biking through English bay in the summer, seeing groups of people hanging out, having fun and I always wished I could just join one. Until one day, I mustered up the courage to approach a group. They welcomed me whole heartedly and I made some pretty incredible friends. It just takes going the extra mile, pushing your comfort zone and making the first move. All insecurities aside. We as humans need one another, we need community, that is how we were created to operate! Thank you for creating this video, beautiful perspectives. God bless!
I live in Atlantic Canada and I agree with you completely. And I believe, as you said, this is a phenomenon in most cities in the world.
Wow. I also bike around the sea wall/English Bay Area and see tons of those little groups of friends tht I wish I could be a part of but I can’t imagine actually going up to them... that’s so awesome that u did !!!
I am moving to vancouver next month. I am nervous to go. My siblings moved to vancouver so I will always have them around. I hope I have a social group once I finish university. Although its less likely these days due to covid. Maybe once this year is over I can make some friends.
wow, u said it all
@@marley7659 Hey, just wanna pop over and say welcome to Vancouver. If we can get out of this shitstorm in covid, we can meet for a coffee.
Even after writing this, I feel insecure. (Criiinge) But I do mean it.
Increasing pace of life and cost of living is tough on social lives. People also cherish their freedom, privacy and personal space. The balance is tricky. Digital lives overriding real lives these days too.
Toronto is way worst than anywhere in Canada
Exactly...smartphones and internet has basically destroyed society
Amen... The extreme high cost of living has cut off most social connections since people prioritize work over friends (because they have to.. In order to eat and buy their first home)
Having been born and raised in Vancouver I agree with most of what these people in the video say. Vancouver is definitely not a warm place, both figuratively and literally. Yes sure, people are polite when you ask them for directions... but that's as far as it goes. I moved to the states 10 years ago and noticed a drastic difference in the way that people interact with each other. A lot more talkative and personal.
Many years ago my mother described her experience when she moved from New York to Vancouver. after being in a place that's full of character, her reaction was that it seemed like she had moved to a city that's full of zombies. You'd make a joke, no reaction (she doesn't tell bad jokes always). Combine that with the fact that it's among the least affordable places in the world (2nd to Hong Kong last time I checked), gloomy weather most of the year... It's a pretty depressing place...
Sounds like the gal I met off of plenty of fish before this pandemic. Beautiful gal. I'm not a comedian but I am quick witted. She was deadpan. I'd say something and the folks at the table next to us busted out laughing at my remark but her? nothing. The fact she didn't laugh one bit made me start cracking up laughing my ass off. Plenty of Fish!!!!! lolololol. Hey what'dya expect right? I'll stay in Sacramento with the protesters, blm, crackheads, homeless, 110 heat, year round golf, motorcycle riding, Lake Tahoe, Frisco...
I don't disagree with your sentiment at all. However, it should be said, although Vancouver is the most expensive city to live in in Canada, it is the 98th most expensive city to live in globally. To be fair, they base cost of living, in part, on how much money you can potentially or on average, earn in that city compared to expenses. That is obviously very relevant. Like, if someone lives in Chad Africa, it has a very high cost of living because of how hard it is to get money. That said, it should not be ignored that COL in Vancouver isn't even CLOSE to how expensive it is to live in Hong Kong, Tokyo, NYC, Zurich, Paris, Singapore, London, etc. etc. etc. NOT EVEN CLOSE. Just saying. www.mercer.com/newsroom/2020-cost-of-living.html
Full of zombies lol, that's exactly what my family describes this place when we first moved here. The streets are always empty and eerily quiet. The only time you know there's a person in the house is if they have a car parked outside.
Kelowna is a much better city in BC. It’s warm, beautiful, very friendly, beaches but still skiing, and it still has a small town vibe in some areas.
Problem is a lot of people in Vancouver lack social exposure. It becomes a never ending cycle. You don't go out, you don't get exposed. You don't get social exposure because you don't go out, and so on. That's why a lot of outsiders look at us and think we're weirdos.
its lonely because a lot of people here slowly realize money does not buy happiness
Very true, people need to take the time to figure out who they are and what truly makes them happy, and then build their lives around that.
@@DiscoverConnection agreed!
True. Canada eats your soul. A waste of time. Sth Africa is cheaper than here Australia. But bad fear crimes there 😢
Come to Toronto and see how worsen it is
Robert S same as vancouver
I've been living for 2 years in Vancouver. People are so polite and respectful. But they are numb like they don't have emotions. So you can't talk deeply and connections are shallow and insincere. No emotions.
One reason I didn't feel lonely when I moved to Vancouver was the improv community. Improvisers are so welcoming and friendly.
Having an interest or hobby and finding groups and meetups around those common interests is a great way to start finding your community 😁
so the rest of the people are not friendly？
@@DiscoverConnection I don't think that is necessary, the way "it should be" is people been normal like in the old times, when we used to talk, wave, introduce our selves, and in the case of immigrants like me, blend in. I know lots of people that don't want to blend in and they never neither bother in learning the language, they just don't want and I found that really disrespectful and prompt to create these bubbles that bring all this identity crisis that this city and society is suffering!. When you are pushed to find people through hobbies or activities you are just putting a bandaid on the problem and basically encouraging the same pattern of bubbles or clicks.
@@midnighttrain7844 most people are super nice but just a bit shy
Hope you have a good day carrie
This conversation came up with a friend 30 years ago with another native Vancouverite. His take was that Vancouver is a place where Canadians come to heal or seek change in their lives after a tragic shift in their lives, like a big break up or trying to overcome addiction. He said that Vancouver is full of emotionally injured souls looking for escape. The more I live here(since birth) the more I agree.
ooof that was a hit . interesting
Oh.. that's really fascinating. Also makes so much sense.
That is so interesting, and I see that! I know a number of people that have done that. I wonder if it is because they feel like people will leave them alone here so they come. And i am sure being in the nature here helps too.
My parents were young adults in the mid 80s and they have always said the same things about Vancouver being a cold and clique-y place that people say nowadays. It's always been this way. The social media angle brought up in the video is an issue for sure but it doesn't paint the whole picture. Your theory is pretty interesting as there are a lot of transient people here. However I've lived my whole life in this city and most of the people I've met have also grew up here so I think the issue is elsewhere.
@@MatusDubrava no doubt
That’s why Vancouver has the Lowest covid cases, nobody talks to each other so here we were rehearsing social distance before it happened. 😂
Amen~
Truth!
most Canadian cities are like that. people mostly only hang out with their friends or family.
agreed haha
@@asadb1990 u been in the East?..u should!..I don't think that's correct.
I've lived in Van for 8 years, moved here from Alberta. The best way I can explain the attitude in Van vs. Alberta is a 'Pioneer' attitude vs. a 'Prospector' attitude. In Alberta you get to know your neighbours because you might need help surviving the winter so you go out of your way to make connections. But in Vancouver (and all of BC) there is this attitude that I've found my gold and I'm NOT sharing it. Everyone moves here for the dream of living here, if they are lucky enough to stay and succeed they have to work hard and spend lots of money to live here, so they don't want to share because of the fear of losing that tiny foothold.
I was making plans to go back to Southeast Asia before Covid happened. People here are...different. in all the years I spent here I have never felt this place as truly home. When I visit the Philippines I feel that sense of "homeness" that I have been missing despite the chaos. Getting older has made me realize the value of connection.
@@patrickt49 100%. I was about to get on a plane to Philippines back in March of 2020 and not come back to Vancouver, but then Covid happened and I've been stuck here.
@@matth1641 How's it been since being stuck here?
Filipino-American here, yet to visit because Philippines seems kind of crazy rn haha.
I think you nailed it.
I gave it three solid years and then had enough. Never had a solid group of friends. At one of my jobs the entire room I worked in would go for coffee, but never was invited out once. Driving/traffic is absolutely the worst in the country which I'm sure doesn't help anyone's stress level. The biggest shock was after having left the province and stopping in Calgary overnight, the warmth and genuine kindness from our waitress at Earls was the polar opposite of every social interaction I had in Vancity. My life has drastically improved since I left. It's a fantastic city to visit, but not to live in.
Born in raised in van. Whenever I travel I'm blow away how friendly people are. Not vancouver
Amen high five
Never had that problem when I lived there, THIS being said, every time I had a cookout, an outdoor activity or a house party, the only people that showed were foreigners and immigrants, people born and raised in Vancouver do not make the effort to spend time with friends
THIS☝️☝️☝️ I am born and raised here yet almost all my friends are from other provinces/ countries.
#facts. While living there, I made only 1 local friend. Everyone else were from other provinces, or overseas. Van is a sad shit of a place imo.
Truee!!
I kind of agree, white people in Vancouver are very reserved and conservative in nature(not politics). Being a punjabi canadian we can be out going and kind of loud at times and I feel out of place because I feel like we are constantly being judged for being maybe more outgoing than 'canadians' and people here tend to consider that obnoxious. I've never had an issues having friends and family being from a culture where those connections are everything, but we also get judged and mocked for living in extended families and having large wedding etc for having those same connections.
@@itshardtofindaname Hell, you make a little bit of noise, your neighbor would find you obnoxious. A lot of people here would rather suffer and die in silence.
Awww I moved here 1.5 years ago. I felt so accepted so many people reached out to go to concerts, go hiking, you have to push yourself out your comfort zone and make an effort to make friends though.
I moved here 13 years ago and I have 3 friends who I met through a work hockey team. I found it near impossible to make friends. They have their own clicks and groups and it’s very difficult to get through that. I’ve been at bars and pubs and hanging out for a few hours having a good laugh and the other persons friends walk in and say see ya later, in other towns I’ve lived in the person would have invited you to hang out with their friends and help introduce you to their group.
I agree with the loneliness in the video.
youre probably just a bad person to be around with
@@andrewwong2399 Harsh lol I dont think I am, I just found other cities eaiser to get to know people etc. Thanks for the input though.
That's very depressing. But it's cool that you are still trying.
I've been living here for 1year and a half, I'm from Mexico and it's my first time living abroad, I thought maybe it was because of culture shock, but you're absolutely right, most people here are just superficial friendly, but they don't let you be part of their group, I also noticed that Vancouver is a shared city for people from many countries, but you can see that they don't "mix", you see Asian people hanging out with Asians, whites with whites, and so for. I find it so sad!
@@majo888 absolutely right!
I moved here to Vancouver 13 years ago from Sydney Australia. I should say, I'm not from Australia, but lived there for a few years. As a measure of comparison, I've lived in a few different places around the world, and have made a few intercontinental moves. When I landed here originally, I found the city to be welcoming to immigrants, compared to other places I've been to. It was just a nice vibe in the air, I found myself less stressed about the fact that I wasn't born here, and racial differences didnt seem to matter much... FANTASTIC!
That attitude changed, very fast. A few days later on the bus, I tried to make small talk with a lady sitting next to me, and the response blew my mind. "I dont know you, why are you talking to me? Are you hitting on me? I'm not interested" The funny thing is, I wasn't even flirting, I was talking about weather. You'd think this would be just one example right? WRONG! Truth be told, the MAJORITY of the population are not rude, most people are very polite, but that's kinda where it all stops.
That was my first brush with Vancouver life... Over the years, I've experienced this type of thing over and over in different contexts, and different places throughout the city. Never in my life, have I come across a population that is so shielded and guarded and so consumed by their own life (I should say survival than living life) and the few people they already know, and the unwillingness to bring anyone new to the mix.
I visited LA for a week a few years ago, and in that short time, I made more friends and had more laughs and conversations with random people, than a decade of living in Vancouver.
The back breaking cost of living in Vancouver no doubt plays a part. The constant stress of massive cost of living, the falling real wages, and the insane cost of a decent house/condo, makes one wonder, why are we paying so much to live in Vancouver? What's so special about Raincouver?
I even tried to connect with my neighbours, and thought maybe invite them over for dinner... the same cold shoulder.
I'm not even gonna get into all the issues about dating in this city.
I'm sure some will disagree, and some have a bustling social life here, but that's certainly a smaller population of Vancouver. The saddest part is after so long being here, I'm now sometimes finding myself giving the same treatment to others, and THAT depresses me more.
I came across this video because I'm actually trying to figure out where to move to, and the reason is two-fold: The stupendous cost of living, and the loneliness I've experienced ever since moving here - Cant wait to leave this place.
"most people are very nice but that's where it stops"
I'm a born and raised Canadian and this is true. Montreal is the only city in Canada where people have life on the them. Everytime I travel I make quick friends with the local yet here in Vancouver and Toronto?!? So hard. There's something wrong. I'm moving on Australia in two years so I hope the people there are warmer.
Why did you stay in Vancouver for so long if it's so depressing? Especially since you claim you've moved and lived in several different countries.
so where do you wanna to move?
the worst thing you can do is to become one of them. Don't change !
@@mememinaa7052 should be right champ
It’s been almost 2 years since I moved to Vancouver from Calgary. There are many things I love about the city. At the same time, I can see why some of my friends in Calgary moved there from Vancouver. I can now also relate to my ex, who went to 4 years of school at UBC, has not made a single genuine friend while studying here.
I'm from Calgary and went back a couple months ago to visit. I forgot how friendly and laid back Calgarians are. Living in Vancouver for 5 years has made me more of an introvert now. I used to try and talk to people on the bus when I just moved to Van and yeah never got a warm reception. I grew up in International Ave in Calgary and its very much a melting pot there. Here, ethnic communities stick to their own. Even asians don't mix around here
I can only imagine. UBC Though is like schools like U of T and U of A. Well known prestigious schools, but with big class sizes, people have to make the effort to find friends in such post secondaries.
@@MadChatterYT I am From Toronto and frequent Calgary because of Family. I really agree, people are so laidback there and I always feel the difference. Although I find that people are less likely to say things to your face or directly. It always feels weird when people smile at me, because in Toronto you're lucky if the stranger doesn't rip your head off. Cheers.
@@MadChatterYT true. There is zer sense of community. Even in much bigger cities there are pockets of community, but here its just nothing.
I'm moving to Vancouver from Calgary at the end of this year and now these comments are making me so sad :( it's been my lifelong dream to move there but now I'm worried...
Many years ago when we bought our first home, I baked pies to take to the neighbors to introduce ourselves. Yes we married very young, I was 19 at the time my husband and I bought our first home. I was so excited, being from another country where neighbors are very friendly. First and only door I knocked with one of my freshly baked apple pies, I was very rudely told no, we do not want it, and he shut the door on my face. I was really sad and crying and went home. I never did that again. When I think about it, I'm sure that if I had the courage to knock at other neighbors doors the reaction would be different. At least that's what I want to believe. We lived in that area for 3 years, never met a neighbor.
I'm sad to hear of your experience and feel the same. It's like people here don't know how to make new friends or be open or have fun. Not sure what happened up here in the beginning to make a culture so distrustful of "strangers". Most of my friends are international like myself but I've got a few native Canadian friends too.
Been living here for more than a decade and I never met any of my neighbours as well lol. Just different from my home country in Asia where people are very friendly and neighbours knows one another. Since its very multi-cultural I noticed that different groups gravitate to same race and nationality. It feels very welcoming and homey in that way. Unless you grew up here and met people in such a young age things will be different. But yes, I do agree that if you're new here forming relationships like friendship will be challenging.
you cant make one experience with one person make your mind up about people you've never even tried with. Bet the next door you knocked on would've been stoked.
@@sumgui6010 you are right, I still think about that and know deep down that if I had continued it would have been different experience. Young and foolish, lol. I no longer need to take my baking to the neighbours. They knock at my door when they smell my freshly made bread. They also know I make enough for everyone, lol.
@@mommamaria2965 haha that's awesome! I am glad it was just a learning experience then. Fresh bread is very under rated, I would come knocking too!
I was born and raised in Vancouver. I left for Toronto at 20 even though I had a tight group of friends (looking back, they really weren't that great) and a "secure" job (a mind-numbing government job that many aspire to). The analogy I use is the movie Pleasantville. I was trapped living in black and white but after I left, I see the world now in technicolor. Have now spent more than half my life living in big cities in Asia as well as NY where I've forged amazing friendships that now span multiple continents. I go back to visit YVR regularly and am stunned by how many people only travel in the same social circles that they had in high school. I will never move back. My next stop is Australia.
I lived almost my entire life in Toronto and moved here about 8 years ago. I find Vancouver much friendlier and open than Toronto. I never knew any of my neighbours in Toronto and never said hello to strangers in the street. In Vancouver, I know almost all the neighbours on my street, we have yearly block parties and our children play together. There’s a real sense of community. We hike a lot here, and we frequently smile and greet people we pass on the trails. In Toronto, the second question people always ask after “what’s your name?” is “what do you do?” I felt like you were defined by your job there. When I first moved to Vancouver, I was struck by the fact that no one ever asked me what I do for a living. They would instead ask me, “What do you like to do?” It gave me the impression that people in Vancouver valued your interests more than your job. Moving to Vancouver was a great decision for me and I feel like my kids are growing up in a friendlier environment here than they would have in Toronto.
Where do you live?..main Street or commercial?. Bec sounds to me that that is the areas you could be living in. Lets get real, people in Vancouver always will ask you what do you do for a living, and yearly birthday parties in community?!..wow..u most be living in a suburban neighborhood. Again, where do you live?, Bec you are not describing the normal Vancouver experience. No offense.
@@alexparada607 I live in Cedar Cottage (an East Vancouver neighbourhood that a decade or two ago was considered a rough inner city neighbourhood and is now euphemistically referred to as “up and coming”). I was nervous when I first moved to this neighbourhood, but the community spirit has been amazing. The last summer before the pandemic, there were 8 neighbourhood block parties within a 5 block radius of my house over a 2 month period. I’ve given a lot of thought over the last 8 years about why my Vancouver experience has been positive. It mainly comes down to me. I have personally tried harder and made more effort here than I ever did in Toronto. I make an effort to read community bulletin boards and attend community events and Meetups (pre-COVID, of course) and talk to my neighbours, things I never did in 30 plus years of living in Toronto. And luckily, my efforts were rewarded because I have made some great friends. I guess when you grow up in a place, you never feel the need to seek out friends and community, since your family and social networks are already there.
Btw, it’s been 8 years and counting and still no one has asked me what I do for a living, upon first meeting. Of course, people eventually ask in the course of getting to know you, but it has almost never been among the first few questions asked. I still notice and appreciate that, every time it happens. I fully recognize that a lot of people have not had the same experience as me, despite their best efforts to meet people. But I truly believe my experience is not uncommon either, and I hope it helps to hear a positive story.
@@alexparada607 I feel that many folks that move to inner Vancouver are the cliquey type. Anything outside of the city, most people are genuine. Although I do feel that since the housing market has sky rocketed, some feel a sense of entitlement. I moved to Canada in 1999 and the attitude of people from then to the mid 2000s and to now.. there’s been a major change. Lived in burnaby until 2004, in Abbotsford now, and I love it.
@@h.y.w.6932 Cedar cottage is a great place, the same than anything that is outside Vancouver. But living in Vancouver is not the same. If I could live in New West, Burnaby, cedar cottage, even East Van I know for sure that it would be a different experience, but yes, Indeed Vancouver is not a friendly city, try to tell that to people that live in more central areas, In the course of 11 years I had lived in Gastown, Yaletwon, Kits, now I'm in the South, in the UBC lands. And people hardly look at each other. I'm glad you are having a good experience, but again, Cedar Cottage is one of the oldest parts of the city(east van is well known for having a sense of community), so that is not the same experience of people that live in other parts of Vancouver. We cannot say that Vancouver is friendly just bec your area.
Anyways, nice to meet you, let's honor this topic and start expanding our friends circle???.
Big hug
@@abdullahmahmood3040 definitely agree with you. But remember that some people don't have any other choice than to move to the concrete jungle, might be bec of been near work or Bec they are alone and don't know anything else. Either way, is true that the majority that live in the inner part of Vancouver is or wealthy or are a bit of entitled fellas, and yes the city rental and housing prices soaring are not helping but..still people make their own bubbles and we still with this social disconnection. There's nowhere to run anymore, as u said, everything is getting expensive, so..ya, eventually the good people end up leaving the city. Keep a spot for me in Abby, hahah.. I might move there!
Big hug!.
Bro at 4:34.
“You know, I think I just kind ah, stay lonely at the moment.”
Ah, man. I feel ya. 🙏🏻
I love this youtube channel and what you guys are doing with it. I wish you could post more videos but I understand it takes time to produce this quality work. Keep it up!
Thank you for the support 🙏🏼the goal is to post content on a weekly/bi-weekly basis soon!
Vancouver people are always late, they flake on plans, and they are soft. The best way to make friends here is to meet people from other places. The problem is that everyone ends up leaving because it is not that good of a place to live.
I’ve never met people so flakey people in my life.
I call it the land of fakes and flakes.
I think it's a West coast thing. Apparently, LA isn't that much different.
F A C T S
Amen to that. Best thing I ever did was to leave Vancouver.
god i thought i was the only person who felt like this about van. i’m only 18 but i have noticed this even in teenage life in vancouver. people don’t speak to each other unless if they need something from you. it’s such a cliquey city in every aspect and everyone is cold or feels awkward. i think living here for a few years is nice because the city is beautiful but for a life commitment it’s miserable. my parents are from europe and they pointed this out as the biggest shock when they came here.
It's the perfect place to come and HEAL , it's beautiful and also very lonely place which you will find yourself alone most of the time and when your alone you think and you go back to your trauma and you start to heal in the beauty once you've healed move away to a more exciting place and really start living your best life but staying in Vancouver is just EXISTING YOUR NOT REALLY LIVING
Live in Vancouver for 4 years and I'll conclude my experience for three words: polite, quiet and distance. We may smile to each other with appropriate greeting but cannot feel anything.
Really cause i just get stared down most of the time
agree. people have their own little groups and lots of times no one cares. i had better conversations in harrison hot springs and chillawack. outside the city. the main city is beautiful but ive seen livelier cities
its alright im back in asi..... i mean the orient now. so whatever. hope you enjoy your stay there. i liked downtown and richmond for sure :)
moving to Vancouver soon and I'm looking forward to finding a friend.
omg
Social media killed our abilities and instincts to be able to communicate in real life and make connections. I find it hard to make friends in Vancouver as a Van native and after moving away for a few years and losing touch with all my old school friends, it's a struggle to find new ones.
Leaving school and moving to a new city, or having your friends leave is a challenge for sure. You leave this space where connection thrives and thrown into the real world and have to really go out of your comfort zone to meet new people.
Are you still struggling to find your friends ?
@@DiscoverConnection I am and it doesn't help that because of my position, I work a lot of hours so I don't have the energy or time to even get out of my comfort zone and socialise.
@@SushiParty That's definitely another thing in some cases! I know personally a few people who their jobs cause them to work sometimes up to 10-12 hour days, and even come in on their days off. But interesting thing, I found a recent article about some companies switching to a 4 day work week and finding productivity increasing compared to the 5 day week. Definitely something we could look more into!
Moved to Vancouver from Russia 9 years ago. Contrary to popular opinion, I found people here being waaaaay friendlier and warmer than back home. I felt like my personal boundaries were respected for the first time in life. People talked in non-invasive ways, showed a relatively good grasp of non-violent communication, which made me feel safe around them and more open to share. Overall, I made lots of good friends here! I guess the experience of Vancouver is in the eye of the beholder.
I mean coming from russia i would think anywhere counts a friendly 💀💀
You from Russia, that's why.
@@visionentertainment8006 agree
It's fuck ass expensive. That's why. All I'm focused on is work. It's sad.
Canadians keep voting further and further Left thinking that will solve the problem. They never make the connection between Leftism and high property costs.
@@TrouvatkiDePercusion What we need is to de-regulate the economy. More opportunities more investments will help stimulate the economy. The government also needs to revamp the tax system here. I don't understand why government workers who do basic things with little to no education get paid more than minimum wages from our tax dollars while the vast majority are struggling and aren't getting a cost of living increase. A lot of these people are also highly educated and under utilized.
Because the conservatives, NDP, Liberals are ALL leftists. So saying it was Harpers fault is a stupid point.
@Karl Marx oh yeah commie. I know it's hard to believe that people would lie to you when they're supposed to be super uber nice leftists.
Grow up. Leftism is nothing but a cope for children. Real men want ti fix capitalism. Not sit back and let other men tell them what to do.
When you’re not working you’re heading home, doing your best to dodge the crackheads. Yay!
Yeah, I was considering moving there after university. Visited Montreal and actually got to see what an actually warm city looks like. Moved and never looked back.
I was living there and was a ghost amongst a sea of ghosts
exactly how i felt
Am from Montreal, lived 5yrs in France and now Van for past 5yrs. And yep, human warmth is scarce here.
I've been living in Vancouver for ~10yrs and Vancouver is by far the least social and friendly place I have lived in (and this includes Europe, latin america, South America and USA). It is very easy to make a shallow/casual connection because the people are very nice, BUT it stays there.
I moved to Vancouver from Wales in 2017, I left for good in 2020. I miss the mountains, but not the city and the people.
There's something about all of the big cities in the Pacific northwest. Its hard for people to connect on a human level and lots of people suffer from loneliness. Portland here
must be near constant grey sky & it's threat of rain + lack of vitamin D.
Visiting Seattle from Vancouver, I find Americans more friendly and open. Especially going out to restaurants and bars.
It's hard not to disagree with your observation. I moved to Vancouver 28 years ago and the thing with the PNW is the massive influx of new people from other states, provinces and countries. It's a big surprise to even met someone who's born and raised in these cities.
I've lived in Vancouver for about 10 years and I find it incredibly lonely. I've tried going out of my way to meet people and have been rejected at almost every turn. The loneliness has gotten so bad I've become depressed, even started having suicidal thoughts. I don't even bother trying to go out now because there's no point.
This video was made a year ago, I was wondering as I watched it how much worse it's gotten since covid hit. There are lots of people suffering, just remember you're not alone. Everyone is trying to act like we're not lonely and vulnerable. I hope that you can find a way to connect.
Don’t feel like that. You got to be strong, ppl that don’t value u, r not worth ur time. U have be confident and proud of urself and keep ur self busy with lots of hobbies. being alone can be hard, but adding value to yourself by doing things that enrich your life is more important than ppl who have no substance. I’m not sure if ur a spiritual person, but praying to a higher power will give u guidance. Never give up 👍🏼
I feel you
There are people at the art gallery every Sunday to stand up for freedom at 1pm - try it out atleast you can be around people and you never know you might make a friend.
@@tuhituhitu The thing is (in my personal experience), people get put off with the fact that you're not trying to spend time with them, but when you put yourself out there, they back away. It's REALLY hard to make friendships here. Everyone wants to be within their own group and are only willing to make acquaintances.
I grew up in Vancouver in the '70's and lived in Toronto for 8 years in the '80's. I moved back to Vancouver in 1993. Vancouver is not the friendly town that it used to be. I travelled a lot too and apathy exists in all world class cities.Whenever I am in Vancouver, I still smile at people on the street. "Be the change that you want to see in the world." Be friendly and people will reciprocate.
I'm a Spaniard who moved to Vancouver in 2015. This is a friendly city. Maybe it's my neighbourhood, the West End, but I often strike up conversations with strangers, I know and get along with my neighbours, have made good friends...
I agree! West end is the best place I ever lived in. Cardero cafe is nice to sit and talk with new and old fellow neighbours.
Thank you for the Honest accounts highlighting some of the struggles we face behind the picturesque cities we live in. Keep up the quality and refreshing content!!
i've lived in Vancouver for ~7 years, initially coming to UBC. It was easy to make friends when I lived in residence but as soon as I moved off campus and later got a job, I felt very isolated. I honestly don't think the people are the problem. Vancouver is full of diverse people but there are little to no community events, parades, or festivals to facilitate connection. Even the Canada Day celebration here is lame. The events that do exist often sell tickets at least $25 a pop. I was also shocked at how early everything closes. It really kills the nightlife.
I have been living in Vancouver for a little over 6 years and this video resonated with me. When the individual said that "outsiders here have to always initiate" I thought "YES!" There is also a lot of flaking and ghosting here. And the connections you make never last or run deep. People are looking for connection but Vancouverites have to understand is what people are truly looking for is genuine friendship, their "Tribe" and not "moments" of connection here and there. I also once worked at a furniture store at the corner of Granville and Broadway for two years where the management/staff were two-faced and judgemental without ever getting to know you. Flat mates who you have cooked dinners with, spent Christmas' together, worked with, and babysat their kids, would eventually ghost/flake you and abandon your friendship for hypertrophy friendships. I believe it s easier for those that are born and raised here to connect with others easily. But, as an outsider, it is a challenge.
I got very emotional watching this. I moved here in 2007, and I did the norm for meeting people - joined multiple groups, was a volunteer for a non-profit, got married, invited my neighbours for a dinner party, friends over for BBQs, etc. ALMOST NOBODY returned the favour. it was soul-crushing. And half of the few lasting friends I made back then have moved away, and now we rarely email each other. I don't know what is wrong with people here. Most Vancouverites I've met are paranoid, just plain mean, and socially awkward. They are not polite; they are INHIBITED. I've literally had people scream at me when I've given them directions downtown and on transit. Don't even get me started on working here. I worked all over the US and have never met such dysfunctional co-workers. If my son were not in school, I would head back east. maybe it's all the empty condos and homes, or the high rate of transience. Vancouver may be beautiful, but it has NO SOUL. it feels like everyone here is just out to take advantage of as many people as they can. My remaining Vancouver friends are recent American immigrants.
oh wow Smilodon, that's tough. I came to Ottawa and was there for almost two years, I'd say it's bit more chill then this but I pretty much can get this from the outside view what you just mentioned . Most of the people just say word reserved, and I found it pretty much extreme in some cases, the professionalism and punctuality to some stuff is getting intense , but why I was checked to write this comment is "socially awkward" I remember asking this one of my friend from first startup i worked for there, and that was: do you think lot of young people here in school/after school are socially awkward? and she agreed on that , and i have it written in me till this point .sometimes that professionality gets in the way of just being you . but what I think it is keep on forgiving and just give without hoping to get back, that kinda can open the doors for something that will be interesting, hugs and blessings my online friend :)
Damn lol
omg.that sounds awful. where r u from originally?
Same here me and this other colleague agreed to invite everyone from my college class to a small get together hike or picnic at the park and nobody was interested like Jesus wtf is the point of a group chT
Foreigners just have a better mindset. Wondering if your still in vancouver and if you have noticed a change in the city?
I grew up in Vancouver and moved to Alberta for the first time in my early 20s and it was such an relief to meet people that were open to socializing and being friends. I have met people from all over the country and can confirm that Vancouver has the most closed off and socially awkward people. Outside of the beautiful nature there is not much city life and culture, too many overpriced, empty apartments and overall just a bunch miserable looking, unhappy individuals. Best place on earth? Not likely.....
Born in Vancouver, raised in Burnaby, and currently living in Surrey, but I gotta say majority of the people I've met in each area have been welcoming. There's definitely the outliers but I have lasting connections from everywhere I've been here, despite the new areas :)
@@marcusferguson5241 where do you live? I dont even knownwho the people on my floor are
As a non-white, non-North American who has lived in many towns and cities in USA, I find Vancouver is not as warm and open as Austin, TX--not even close. But to live in, it beats most small towns or Vegas. I think the reputation of loneliness comes from more people migrating here than born locally/regionally. In Austin, most folks are white and Texan, and in a very open frame of mind to have fun with strangers, who are typically like them from other parts of TX/OK. A cool brown stranger can easily insert himself into that warm mingling context. Also Austin has cultural activities--especially downtown drinking and listening to music; Vancouverites just keep climbing hills.
Toronto is the worst
Robert S I disagree, its one of the best places to meet people and has a great nightlife/overall culture
Cities in general are the loneliest places. Has to be mentioned that in Vancouver people are kind, helpful and polite like in no other city I've ever been to.
For me, the only good thing about Vancouver was the nature factor, the proximity of beach and mountain close by. About the people, I found them superficial and distant. As for taking the initiative, even when you do, their reaction was always "oh, yeah, you must be lonely," and they didn't have the time then, suggested to "hook up some other time for sure" but they never came back with that promise. It was hard to make friends, some level of connection. After 7 years, I moved to Montreal over 12 years ago. Here the entire energy I feel is different. On top of being much more a diverse cultural mix, people are more tolerant, exhibit more of a 'solidarity' spirit. In general, they allow others to be human (eg. much less car honking on the street at the immediate second of change of traffic light) and also expect the same kind of understanding. Things move more smoothly and warmly.
I spent a year in Vancouver, from Scandinavia originally, and it was the loneliest time of my life. I sometimes now get nostalgic over my time there as I do like the nature and other things but being reminded of this seriously depressing loneliness was rly good. To basically not look back with rose colored glasses
omg...ttell me more
I think it’s honestly a matter of perspective and personal experience. Any big city will have issues like this in my opinion... I live in São Paulo and people are always so busy with their life and getting to places that they will hardly interact - or even look at you - on the street, but at college, school, work or even a restaurant things may be different because you have more time to connect. I’ve spent a month living in Vancouver 2 years ago and It was honestly the most pleasing experience of my life, the people were extremely incredible to me. Loved this video! It’s always so cool to see different perspectives and opinions from different people :)
I've lived the states, to Ontario, to Vancouver. Vancouver is absolutely beautiful. The city is full of tourists, foreigners, and business people. Everyone is polite just keep to themselves and I don't think that's a bad thing. Vs New Yorkers who yell at each other. Finding local groups on Facebook is the best way to meet people. There's a group for everyone! I'm also the type to be a lone wolf all I need is me and my family kind of used to living far from family. I can see weather causing this as well its mostly gloomy which cab be depressing. I wish it were sunnier like California!
Really? Wow your are lucky. I'm latin and we completely different, we create real connections and friends. And after living in many places, people here are very selfish. Yes is beautiful and yes people in New York yell, but they build real connections and they are interested in you in some way.
I moved to Vancouver 28 years ago from Ontario and I have to say I was really impressed with the answers people gave in the video. The one thing that stood out for me in the video is how many people came from other places. With such a massive influx of new people to a city it's not surprising it takes time to make connections.
Question for you James - how do you think the Victoria experience might be better? Am moving west from YYZ and think Victoria may be the better option. But am not sure. Thanks!
@@teutonic2020 Hi C L I personally like Victoria and there's a possibility I would move there. Hours of sunlight is tops and the mildest weather in the country. It really depends on what you want out of your city. As you probably know Victoria has the largest population of 60-90 year olds in the country. Many young people dislike Victoria and can't wait to move as there isn't much of a night life. It's also a government city as Victoria is the Capital of B.C. so there are a lot of government jobs/employees. Other complaints I hear is if you're a frequent traveller people say it's hard to get off the Island. Which I find a little strange as they have an international airport. People say they feel stuck there. And I say, isn't that why you moved to the Island? My aunt and uncle retired in Nanaimo from Peterborough, ON and my uncle's sister and husband liked it so much when they visited they moved from Toronto to Nanaimo. But they're all in their early 70's now. I hope this was helpful, good luck!
@@25Soupy This is very helpful James - very much appreciate your time in writing this detailed response. The more detail you provided, the more I became certain I would like Victoria. 👍
@@25Soupy as a long-time Victoria resident, I agree with some of what you point out. While there are a lot of retirees, there's also usually a large population of young people in the city due to the many post-secondary colleges and universities, although this year, due to covid, there's been a huge drop in the number of students in the city. It's also true that it is a lot more sunny than Vancouver, although winters still feel dark a gloomy since there's no snow on the ground. I semi-agree with the travel opinion - it's expensive to leave the island with your car if you want to go anywhere ($70-$100 depending on timing) and it takes 1.5 hours to travel to the mainland. As far as airports go, there are plenty of flights to domestic destinations such as Toronto and Montreal, but international flights are less common and more expensive, as are flights in general when compared to Vancouver. Still a nice place to live!
@@es3359 Thank you Ethan!
I remember going to Vancouver few times during my early teens staying with my Aunty. She lived in North Van. I loved the scenery there and when it was snow I was so excited as I’m from Australia. I had a great time cause relatives would take us around. But she often mentioned Vancouver people being cold and how she missed living in the US.
so its better living in US than Vancouver?
@@muhammadfadhil313
It's not geography. It's wealth. If you want friendliness, go somewhere with a lower cost of living.
I'm born and raised in Vancouver. I've noticed the cliqueness of vancouver since high school. I've realized that for some reason my group of friends in highschool did not like meeting others that they don't know. Like when I would invite them to another friend's party. They would comment that they don't know anyone there and don't want to party with randoms.... And that struck me on how vancouver has this clique culture of people being comfortable within their own circle and refuse to meet others or incorporate others into their life. They experience had made me change schools. I'm naturally a social able guy. Knowing that my group of friends refuse to meet new people did not sit well with me. Especially in highschool when all you want to do is meet people and have fun. I changed school so I can meet other kids in the vancouver school district. And when I did I made new friends who introduced me to more people. At a point it really is a certain type of people in Vancouver who are clique. There are others here that would like to meet others. However, it is still hard to break down the initial wall and get into the circle.
I really do believe it has alot to do with the fact that there isn't much to do in Vancouver. Not much to do as in socialable events/places. We do have your bars and clubs. However, drinking here is expensive and also those places are not necessarily the ideal place to form new friendships but more a place to flirt. It also doesn't help that people will go as groups with friends creating a vibe that they are there to socialize with their group and not others.
Alot of my friends that are not originally from here always ask me. What is there to do in Vancouver. And I honestly can't answer them. Other then hikes, parks, snow sports, bars and clubs.... There's honestly not much of anything else in this city. It's really sad and depressing. We don't have any places for people to connect and have fun... No wonder why we're called the no fun city.
I'm hoping to change that.
Well put. I noticed the same thing back in high school. Everything was very cliquey at multiple high schools I attended. There's no "normal" people who live here. Everyone is some exercise nut, skier, hiker, biker, well paid tech worker, hipster barista, etc etc. I have yet to meet anyone who is just chill and likes hanging out without needing to show off their personality/money/stuff (other than the stoners, but you shouldn't need to get baked just to have a chill hangout). A person could make minimum wage here and still find a way to think of themselves as better than everyone else.
I personally don't care about any of the superficial stuff and I have an impossible time connecting to these fake ass people. And comfort is so huge for everyone here as well. I ask someone if they wanna watch the football/soccer/basketball game, any game, and no they don't care about that. OK fine how about video games, oh its not the one they play and they don't want to learn it. It gets to a certain point where its like I'm game to entertain any new interests just to make a friend. I'll try that new food, game, sport. I'll start hiking, biking, and laugh at the hipster jokes if it means making a connection. But it always feels so forced. The few times I have made real connections I have been ghosted. Vancouverites love to ghost each other. The odd time you hit it off with someone they will just randomly stop responding to any messages or are always too busy to hang out. I've lost friends simply because they couldn't be bothered to spend time with me more than 1-2 times a year. Even when we lived just a few blocks away they still were always too busy to chill for a couple hours.
I've talked to multiple people online in different Vancouver groups and every time it sounds like we might get along they just ghost me. I ask if they have social media, or a phone number, and they just ignore the convo. I mean why be in groups looking to hang out with like minded people if someone offers to do something you just ignore them before even meeting up once. Or they'll play a video game with me once or twice then forget I exist after that.
@@cloudcloud8486 I agree with you bro. It’s quite sad how disconnected we’ve become especially this past year. Got an Instagram? I’d love to reach out lol
Completely agree, I’m born and raised here and I was shocked when I was in Montreal at how much cool stuff there was going on FOR FREE!! All the “events” here are basically just shopping, tents to buy stuff, very little else to really do. Super overrated here.
I grew up in west van/lived in the west end for many years. People have their posse/clique. It is VERY difficult to break into one of these cliques. Been like that in Vancouver since I was a teenager in the 1970s. When I lived in Montreal a few years ago now, I could not believe how genuinely friendly the people were that I met. At Christmas and New Year's not only was I invited to multiple people's homes as a newcomer - they basically made me prove to them that I had somewhere else to be before they would take no for an answer. People in Vancouver simply do NOT invite you to their home for a meal, and it is 50-50 that they will show up if you invite them to your place for a meal/party. I really think that (even before social media was so prominent, has changed folks' behaviors so much) there was/is just a general lack of social confidence. Some kind of fear of genuine connection/personal intimacy. Once folks have gained access into one of the precious cliques, they hoard this contact social interaction like a Scrooge with his money. It is weird - but also, as many comments on here indicate - it is a behavior that is accepted (reluctantly) and eventually adapted and embraced by newcomers to Van. It is really sad. Moved from Van after 40+ years there, last fall. Now live in a small town outside of Montreal. Zero regrets. Vancouver is way too stressful financially and socially. It is a relief to not live there anymore. En plus, I love a good adventure. ;-) All the best to all the posters on this video.
God. You are painfully on-point.
Everyone I know since elementary and high-school are still in the same-circles, mostly, even after university. It was one class from kindergarden to the college/uni graduation. They may go to different schools first, but somehow *everyone* funnels into UBC.
There's always enough of us in any group here such that we never have to make new friends. And if they are "new", we have a mutual friend anyways, so we probably heard of each other early on.
It's incredibly cliquey and any moments of intimacy get hoarded like there is no tomorrow. Of course, I've done the same because I was born in Vancouver. I'm a massive hyprocrite, but at least the isolation here is true. Moved now to Calgary.
Vancouver is a damn village.
I lived in Vancouver for years it's so unfriendly.
I was born in Nova Scotia
extremely friendly place.
I have moved back to NS feel way more at home here ❤
I'm from Victoria and when ever I've gone to Vancouver I have deffiently felt that friendliness... like she was saying in victoria people will smile at you as they walk by or like when you take the buss you say thank you to the buss driver as you get off. Lol every time that I get of the skytrain I littlerly yell thank you to the air haha. I'm also a cashier and I've had so many people tell me about the huge difference in the way people act from there compared to here.
Being there last year, Victoria is also less fast paced than Vancouver. Both cities I found friendly, but Victoria was definitely way more laid back. Vancouver can be too, but like other Urban cities it's a busy place and people should want to make time out of their day to befriend someone, but that's not always the case with some of the people in life we come across.
You Moved to vancouver to be a cashier? Jeesus woman. why put yourself through that misery. Victoria is 1000x better than Vancouver-plenty of cashier jobs here too
Great video. I lived in Vancouver from 2007-2011 and have worked there many times over the past 28 years. Van is one of my favorite cities in the world, but it is definitely the loneliest place I have ever lived, by far. Having lived in Los Angeles and New York, I was used to strangers casually interacting with one another on subways, in restaurants or just making eye contact and saying "hi" while walking down the street. It creates a wonderful sense of community and extended family; like "we're all in this together". Vancouverites do not interact with each other as a rule. Nobody makes eye contact on the street, nobody talks to you when you're on line at the supermarket, nobody says "bless you" to someone when they sneeze on the Skytrain (I said, "bless you" once to someone after they sneezed and everyone looked at me like I said the "N" word). It sounds trivial, but it adds up after awhile and it makes it very difficult to make friends. Also, there is zero vibe there, very little "joie de vivre". Like "fun" has been outlawed. I later discovered that, for some reason, Vancouverites are afraid of casual human contact but once you break the ice, most will join in. I did find that Vancouver is at its most friendliest when the weather is nice and sunny, which unfortunately is only a couple of months a year. Having come from Southern California and used to year round sunny, warm weather, I was shocked at how the 5-9 consecutive months of dark, cold, overcast, gloomy, wet weather depressed the hell out of me. During these months (which is sadly most of the year), Vancouver changes and the city is at its loneliest, saddest, angriest, most violent, filthy and isolating. I saw more fights, more arrests, more open drunkeness and meth using during those months. Having said all of that, I love Vancouver and have fantastic friends there that I will have for the rest of my life. Also, there is no better sushi ANYWHERE; not even Japan. No city is perfect, but Vancouver is too schizophrenic a city for me to live full time, but I go up to visit every year during it's "happy" months.
I love and agree everything you said until the end.
Ask any Japanese, sushi in Vancouver IS NOT the best and not even comparable to sushi in Japan.
Majority of Japanese restaurants in Vancouver are run by non-Japanese chefs/owners don’t have interest nor respect to Japanese culture.
Yes, there are few good Japanese restaurants regardless of the nationality of the chef, yet I won’t even compare to sushi in Tokyo.
Haha I agree! Weather changes the mood a great deal. Also Van does have some really good sushi... for the most part!
Don’t know where u lived but sounds like you loved around a lot of mentally ill people and maybe close to the crackhead area? I wouldn’t generalize Vancouver to the extent that u did. That’s not the majority of people.
I've had a number of friends over the years remark about how Vancouver was a tough city to figure out on a first go... But, eventually it clicked for them when they understood the "activity culture". They started skiing, running, cycling playing volleyball, climbing... Whatever. It doesn't matter. But, finding your active jam is what Vancouver's 'culture' is all about IMHO. That's how these people found the friendly in the city.
Rain. It's depressing every winter.
rain rain rain :(
😂😂😂
I feel that way in Toronto. And for that reason I want to move to Vancouver. When I visited it just felt like people are way more friendlier. But it could be different when you live there. At least you get the scenic view.
It's painful!!! Moved from Montreal a couple of years ago, and still can't digest how anti social Vancouver is despite its magnificent beauty!!!!
I'm watching this in 2021. I love how genuine this video was made
When I moved to Metro Vancouver in the 1st year, I literary made myself accepting of the unfriendliness and it really sucks! Meeting strangers on the streets almost feels like a violation. I've seen many good people here and I love all of my international friends (which I don't have a lot of opportunities to make friends with on Vancouver island) but I still find it intimidating to seek connection, like an invisible force that keeps me away from them.
Toronto is much worst believe me
Sometimes I could feel the invisible force too as if it's not something one person could break.
@@roberts3965 I totally feel you
in the first year what are u saying man>?
I just moved to Vancouver a month ago and it's definitely been an tough adjustment. Luckily I had friends here already, but it's definitely hard to meet people (but honestly it's kinda like that in any city). I defs agree that going out is crazy pricey here. It was different in Montreal, where everything was cheap and people weren't afraid to strike up a convo. But also, people are just terrible at starting conversations nowadays. Making friends requires effort. Love all your videos btw!
Thank you Fraser! I would agree that it's honestly similar in most cities. And making friends 100% requires effort, striking up conversations with new people is one thing, but the hardest part is the fact that creating genuine friendships requires you to put in a ton of conscious time and effort into nourishing said relationships. And a lot of people don't understand that!
Thanks for the support btw 🙏🏼
Come to munich. No city is more isolated in the world. Not a chance to make friends
really? i was very close to Munich during my visit to Prague. I was dying to visit germany...munich and berlin, but I unfortunately ran out of time and couldn't do so during my visit.
@@c.4059 Why is that?
Toronto is way worst
Lived in Vancouver my entire life so I haven't been forced to meet as many new people and creat new connections. But a few old roommates of mine that were from out of town brought this up with me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I don't think the city is "unfriendly" just very reserved. People tend to keep to themselves, and even close friends of mine have a hard time interacting with other friends of mine when introduced. Also one of the most boring cities in the world. Literally nothing happens here.
Several things keep people apart or discourage reaching out to people in Vancouver, mostly having to do with economic pressures of housing hyperinflation and stagnant wages. Keep in mind that these things can work subconsciously as pressures to AVOID the disappointment of reaching out to make new friends, keep up friendships, keeping people further apart.
1. High housing costs limit recreational spending -> less ability to follow through on meeting and less opportunity for meetings
2. High housing costs, SMALL units only thing affordable to vast majority -> less space for entertaining, fewer people invited over (if any), must choose intimates and exclude others.
3. High housing costs -> live farther from job, long commutes -> tired out and unwilling to commit to significant additional travel to meet prospective friends or even old friends.
4. High housing costs, stagnant wages -> many people working long hours/multiple jobs -> less free time for anything but necessities or recuperation.
5. Cultural misunderstanding due to lack of cultural education, leads to people feeling awkward and uncomfortable, or unsure as to signals. There are many small ways that folkways (what is polite vs impolite in everyday interactions) can make people consider others rude when they were actually trying to be respectful.
6. High burnout: high cost of living causes people to work too much, then "go dark" periodically due to burnout because of bad working conditions, etc
7. High mobility: constantly moving from neighbourhood to neighbourhood seeking lower rent or better quality of life combine with long commutes to periodically break developing bonds
You hit the nail right on the head. The cost of living is definitely a big factor.
Vancouver people are very friendly and polite, it's easy to have a random conversation in the streets. What is hard is to make connections, it doesn't go further than 3 min talking about the weather and the rain, if you go further you could be mistaken as you are looking for something else. There're many different cultures and backgrounds but every culture just stick with their own culture, and let alone if you don't speak a very good English locals make it harder to let you in in their circle. Many international students that are here temporarily add to the table. I love Vancouver but it's hard to fit in at times.
Excellent. Excellent. Video content explains why many feel disconnected here and want to leave. I’m one of those ones too.
Thank you Alan! 😊 I hope you find your community here, don't give up hope just yet!
Discover Connection. Relationships in Vancouver are one sided. Givers has to set limits because takers don’t have any.....
Toronto is way worst believe me
I recommend you to look for research papers about loneliness, it's becoming epidemic.
That's something we have been reading a lot on, it is part of our mission to help combat that problem :)
This may have been one of the most unintentionally prophetic comments of the start of 2020
this is so sad to hear
I'm from Calgary and when I lived in Vancouver for 4 years I didn't make any friends with anybody from Vancouver I ended up making friends with everyone from Calgary that lived in Vancouver. Calgarians are way cooler and fun to hang out with✌️😎
I plan to move to North Van...I moved to the Island from Calgary as I wanted to be closer to nature but over here its very hard to make friends. Polite but very cliquey. I agree Calgarians are cooler! Hopefully I can meet fellow Calgs in N.van.
The guy @ 12:23 is spitting out so much truth.
I grew up in North Van and it was one of the best experiences ever. You walk down the street to say hi to anyone and everyone and enjoy a bit of small talk. Everyone’s friendly and welcoming.
I now live in Vancouver and continue to treat people how I was treated when going up. One example is when I say ‘hi’ or ‘have a good night’ to people in my building, I get a ‘deer in the headlight’ look.
There’s a lot of nice folks in Vancouver but I do agree no one initiates it. Immigration could be one issue where the new immigrants aren’t as well integrated into the society (whether they are getting used to the culture, climate, or language) and it creates this division between groups. Money, of course, is another issue altogether. It’s an expensive city and people have to work longer hours to make ends meet. Just the reality of it.
If anyone’s in Greater Vancouver Area and are feeling lonely, please reach out! There are beautiful souls all around the city :)
Vancouver is a soulless loveless city, if you aren't aware this place makes you cold, disconnected and mean.
Most of BC is like that. Bunch of A-holes.
MeaslesPlease Yea there’s some sort of province wide factor at play coming from the interior here, I think it has to be the education system somehow.
@@anameaname1886 probably the racial provocation taught to Aboriginals and whites.
What the guy in the white shirt at 08:40 is saying is actually kind of interesting. That different countries have different things that help them bonding (patriotism, culture, etc). But the more different cultures and languages and so on a country and its people welcomes, the bigger the influence of that on loneliness could be. That our longing for harmony and welcoming other people and their cultural differences to our country and our lives may actually promote our loneliness (and theirs, too!). Because it gets harder to connect over something we have in common. That's kinda scary. A scientific paper on whether that really has influence on loneliness would be interesting to read.
Great video Brad! Love how open the conversations feel, it’s refreshing.
In regards to how I feel about my own town-
I live in Tulsa Oklahoma right now, I’m a college dropout living with my parents so I don’t have many connections besides everyone I knew in high school. I don’t live in the downtown so I can’t exactly talk about that area specifically (downtown is pretty small though btw), but from what I’ve gathered from the city as a whole in the 8-9 years I’ve been here is that everyone’s just kind of doing their own thing. It kind of feels the same way as Vancouver like you’re talking about here, a bit lonely and a bit disconnected. Im actually working on a Disconnection short film script rn. Anyways one time I saw a quote that said “Tulsa is full of lurkers”. There are a lot of people watching things happen but not very many getting out and doing things and making things happen. That’s not to say there aren’t creative people here, there is definitely some of that energy but not a lot. Just lots of people tryna make it.
With that said I hope I can build a community and connection with people here through my ideas, the main struggle I’m seeing is that people are more falsely connected to things through their phones than they are to what’s going on in the physical world.
Some really great points made here. I moved here almost 6 years ago (my spouse is from here) and after living in several other cities in Canada, I did find Vancouver the hardest place to make friends/connections. Both my husband and I agree that the city seems to have a behaviorally conservative tone to it. In Toronto, our friend group was pretty diverse in background, but there was still a strong sense of social cohesion, which I find lacking here. Several people mentioned the cost of living/lack of affordable and quality housing - which is a huge challenge and does absorb a lot of one's time and energy to find, maintain, thus leaving little time for leisure fun.
Vancouver is one of the most rapidly changing cities in Canada and perhaps around the world. The human psyche and behavior cannot change as quickly to the pace of the economic and cultural change that is adhered to this small city. Hence, people become resentful to others due to wealth, sad due to lack of affordability and frustrated with the rapid change in economic success reflected by others. The politicians are simple, they look at any policy from the standpoint of economic success, sadly, abandonment of social-cultural growth is not in their narrative. Fear, frustration, anger and depression - are the factors leading to loneliness and the people who live in a highly populated and expensive city as Vancouver - will continue to suffer this plight.
No you white people are terribly racist even before the “change” happened
I am from Vancouver and the driving thing is pretty accurate!! Like I drove in different province and I suddenly start to feel more welcomed!! This should definitely change in Vancouver!!
I found the exact same thing when I lived in Victoria too. I was told a lot that it was because so many people are transient and so they don’t want to waste their time with people who might not stay.
As the line goes about Thomas Crown in the movie, "The Thomas Crown Affair", talking about the main character's persona, "a self involved loner". This describes Vancouver perfectly in my opinion.
Vancouver is the city in the Matrix. Hard to explain, there's just something odd or fake about it. Its almost as if people here are AI walking around to make it seem like a real place. Sometimes you're driving down a block or something and you dont see a single soul. As if the AI didnt load. Drive around a corner and suddenly you see cars and people.
Moved here from LA. People aren't unfriendly, it's almost as if people here aren't really interested in much human interaction with strangers.
Pretty accurate
A lot of fakeness for sure. There is a weird phase of not wanting to get to a phase of friendship in Vancouver. Multiple times I've encountered the polite Vancouverite that you spend 20-30 minutes chatting, but when the ice is broken, they are reluctant to exchange contacts for future "friend building".
I agree man. I for one, would love to make friends, It just seems that everyone around me has this "get away from me" vibe. When I go travelling it's so easy to talk to strangers. Not here.
can you elaborate more im thinking of moving there...i want your opinion more in depth ..
I moved from Alberta but I was living in USA before. I'm latin so for me the people here are very selfish and sorry for say this. Is like they don't need at all the human contact, is like they are pretty confortable living the life alone. For me is very natural smile or trying to help or small talk and people here seems don't need or like that. The actitud is another thing, I notice that the actitud is like " don't be on my way".. My question is: Are they happy? Is this people the new human? The human of the future that only need social media contact? I have been in date apps, Meet ups, going coffee shops and still after 3 years the connections are not deep enough to say that I have friends in Vancouver. Lucky, i have my friends from my entire life and family to eventually have a normal conversation..
Good doc. Raised in Vancouver since the70's and yes, one of the most common things said about Vancouver is how hard it is to make friends. People are very self involved. If it wasn't for the beauty of the city, I probably would have left a long time ago and still wonder to this day at age 55, why I haven't. Even with the pandemic of Covid-19, not much has changed in terms of sociability. It really is not much different. However, one of the benefits of Covid is now I get more space in the grocery store line-up, no longer have someone breathing down my neck, in a hurry to check out. Lucky me.
Multiculture place, Vancouver BC. It is really hard to communicate with each other if we have different languages and beliefs. However, it is fine though, literally fine. You can just look around (many beautiful places in Vancouver) and maybe you meet your faith (friend, lover etc.)
Miguel Llanto Have you ever been to Toronto, New York, Mexico City ??? These are all multicultural hubs. And people are friendly
It’s totally possible in other cities to communicate with others who speak different languages and have different beliefs. Here in Montréal, it’s really commun!
I often tell people that some of the most wholesome conversations I've had were with complete strangers at a bus stop or on the bus. I live in Arizona but as someone who used to be a loner my whole school career I found it easier to talk with older people. During my Junior year of high school I would take public transit back home instead of the school bus because I had no friends in school but on the public bus I noticed the adults tended to stick to themselves and that made me feel comfortable enough to approach people. I always found it kinda surprising that they'd react surprised when I'd talk with them. As a teenager I had this silly belief that ALL adults had a fulfilling social life but I quickly learned that I was wrong. Many times the strangers would welcome my approach with a smile after appearing kinda unapproachable at first. A simple conversation about the bus being a few minutes late could turn into a conversation about alcoholism, the universe, our personal struggles or a laugh about something. And when the time came for one of us to leave the bus it felt nice saying goodbye as i or they left the bus. Occasionally I'd see the same people on the bus again so we'd become bus buddies. The public bus helped me develop my social skills because I was no longer the outcast like on my school bus......no instead we were all strangers on public transit. Approaching a group of friends was harder for me than it was to approach an individual.
Those experiences on the bus made me realize that I could do something similar the next and final year of my school career. I realized that although I was a loner and had been one for all that time, I could apply the skills I developed on the bus towards other loners at school. So on my first day I befriended some freshman dude who couldn't find a place to sit. Our spot outside sucked because there was no shade but we didn't mind so much because we weren't loners anymore. Over the next few weeks I had approached another dude sitting by himself and then we became friends. This new guy knew some other dude and then eventually there were 4 of us. By the end of the school year there was 8 of us. We went from "weirdos", "loners", and "outcasts" to a group of friends.
It is so refreshing to see other people of color express their opinion about it too, especially black people like me. I’ve been in ‘Vancouver’ for 4 years (New West > Surrey > Langley) and moving here was one of the best decisions I made. Yeah, it’s hard to meet the right people, but you have to be very intentional and try different things until you find what you’re looking for.
how is it the best decision?
@@vintageb8 - There's a lot of opportunities I have found in Vancouver that I would not have found in the country I come from.
Man I would love to live here. I'm so introverted that I literally have days where you won't see me or hear from me. I love my peace and Independence. My moto is less people, less drama.
I'm like u bro. I'm from Brazil and here the people r too "freindly" but just on the good moments tho. When u r screwed none of em got ur back. They always wanna get something outta you. I prefer to live in a place where people don't make eye contact than to live in a fakeness and gossiping place like here.
Eh it's alright, people are usually nice. There's actually a lot of social people here, a lot just feel lonely and like me are lol
If your moto is less ppl less drama why do you wanna move to the city ? That's kinda backwards
@@davynhainstock7503 Maybe because when you don't talk to anyone it feels lonely, and being in the city helps that plus I wouldn't live in the country if that's what your referring too
@@Kingofspaids fair enough i was more referring to small town or city
Just look at how sad their faces are. The tone they are giving through the video. I am definitely not coming to this place.
I live in Farmington, New Mexico. I feel completely isolated, (it's not a big town). But I've lived in a few different places in my life and I've always felt this way. I think it's more what you said at the end than where we live. I'm 40 and I was never taught how to really connect with people. And now I feel at the end of a very long life, while being relatively young, and feeling hopeless about it all. I wish I had been taught to become comfortable talking and meeting with new people without self judgement and not putting so much expectation on every success or failure.
People are saying TORONTO has culture and is friendlier than Vancouver? 😳 I've never been there (Vancouver), but it sounds like hell...
It’s like an Instagram model. Pretty to look at but zero substance.
I lived in vancouver for 4 years many years ago. 100% the place is lonely and self isolating. Ppl don't talk and avoid others. They also dislike ppl from the East coast, especially Toronto. The place isn't a multi racial society either. There are not many ppl from the middle east and virtually nobody who's of African decent. I had ppl from van be shocked when they arrived at Pearson Airport...... that they haven't seen so many Indian and black people in one area..... I facepalmed so hard.....
@@NestyAngel maybe Burnaby is different but i feel like theres a lot of indian and middle eastern ppl here but def not like Toronto. I feel its more recent immigrants here so we dont notice them and cant really connect
I don't think Toronto is any friendlier. Toronto is very diverse. I do find that a lot of people there also stick to their own cultural groups, which can make people who aren't from those specific cultures, feel more lonely.
Most of my friends in Vancouver are NOT from Vancouver, they are all from other provinces or other countries. In Toronto, where Im born and raised, because of the busy lifestyles, it was so hard to get people to even keep in touch, seems like they only want to meet up for birthdays and thats it.
Toronto is an ugly-looking city, but by god, when I moved from Vancouver to Toronto my dating life just went next level from where it was. More people, more diversity, people are looking to meet new people and try new things, it's amazing.
I grew up in a small town in Northern BC. Quesnel. Most people from Vancouver think it’s located on Vancouver island... 5 days after my high school graduation I moved from my home town to Kamloops. Living with family, trying to figure out my why. Shorty after not finding work, I got a job down in Vancouver for door to door sales job. I noticed soon after knocking in different areas of the city people were mainly friendly but at times of course the thought of a stranger at their door was uncomfortable. Burnaby specifically and the closer I was knocking in the “city” the harder it got to get to sit down and talk to someone. It intrigued me to know why, but I ended up moving to Calgary and Edmonton for 6 months each for the same job. People in both Edmonton & Calgary were extremely nice and willing to connect. I would get invited in for dinners at clients houses when I was knocking in -35 very frequently! I was astonished on how different it was to Vancouver! Fasting forward... I now have settled myself in Kelowna! Working in hospitality I made an amazing friends all across the city. I’m very fortunate to have connected with people here because it is so beautiful. Come check it out, you’ll have a place to stay & I’d be more than willing to be your tour guide! 😊
I would like to see you attempt a challenge in a known rough country to connect to strangers in like Sweden, but I think that's a bit of a high budget plan for now maybe. Up here in northern Europe we practically ignore others while walking around cities and so on. Making quick connections is probably one of the hardest things to do there
I don't live in Vancouver but I think at the end of the day, you are responsible for the outcomes of your life. If you really want to make friends and connections, you will take action and chatter people. It's a numbers game, you'll make mutual connections eventually. It's important to take a look at ourselves first and figure out what kind of life we want to live, and if our daily habits align with that desired lifestyle.
I lived here for 23 years. I am so lonely; thank god I have a few good friends. I still have some outlets to save my soul... sport meetups, and church
Great video full of insight, thank you! I'm in the process of immigrating to either Vancouver or Toronto from Cape Town, South Africa. In my city it's also quite difficult to make new connections as people tend to stick to their social groups. But as mentioned a couple of times in this video, it's up to you to put youself out there and work on making new connections. At least I'm a creator, so i'll be out and about all the time. Creators also tend to find one another, and it's a strong similarity which you can then use to start building on your new connections. Also, I lived in London UK for 2 years, and I'm sure Van can't be as lonely as it is over there.
Lived there for a year then left. Everyone there stays in these tight little circle of friends and won't let others in.
YESSSSSSSSS YES YES YES YES YES this is sooooooooooo true. I have no idea why
@@pawland7535 I here that from everyone from everywhere lol
Not True
A reason why people aren't as connected can maybe be explained by the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Connection and sense of belonging comes after basic needs like having a place to live (rent). So when people can barely keep a roof over their heads, it's hard to spend a lot of time and energy trying to form connections. I moved to Hong Kong( one of the most expensive places to live in the world) from Toronto a few years ago and I've hardly made any genuine friends, language barrier, and also, I feel like the connections that I do have feel artificial somehow
That was actually so true, the East Coast mentality. I came to Nova Scotia in 2019 from India and people are just so wonderfully kind and so human. Everyone smiles at each other, strangers just wave at each other and start random conversations. Everyone helps everyone. Of course there are a few exceptions but it's the most beautiful community in Canada.
I've been here for almost 6 years now. I definitely agree with a lot of this. It seems a long time ago since you could speak to strangers, smile at people, and make genuine connections. It's such a beautiful city and it would be so much better if the social aspects and true human connection were easier. If you go on any bus or Skytrain, 99.9% of people have their heads buried in their phones.
oh wow I can't imagine Vancouver during covid...
I'm lonely and stressed about my job security. With how expensive living here is, if I lose my job then I'm sorta fucked. Going on CERB last year is financially ruining me with taxes owed now piled ontop of other expenses, and I'm stuck without much of a safety net because I basically don't know anyone I don't work with, who're also all... "working class" we'll say.. I'm poor enough that I can't afford to move away to another city without taking on enough debt to cripple me if I don't get a new similarly waged job, and am still currently paying off debt from years ago when I was first.. made to be living on my own, let's say. I used to take out payday loans to pay my rent during my minimum wage days, and haven't entirely financially recovered from that. It's an expensive hellhole with enough sketchiness to keep everyone paranoid and distrustful, is stuck in an opioid endemic due to the high rate of homeless, and oftentimes has some of the most depressing weather keeping everyone locked up inside through the pissing rain. Covid just makes me even more distrustful of people, but the fact that I'm sorta conditioned to keep to myself basically doesn't change much. The only differences I notice are, I have to wear a mask, my job is 5 times harder, and I'll probably be unemployed by the end of the year.
It’s like a robot city now 😝