Dealing with Loneliness
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- Опубликовано: 27 июл 2024
- Spotify Podcast: open.spotify.com/episode/4vwL...
I get asked a lot about how to deal with loneliness. Unfortunately, like many others, there were times in my life when I felt lonely, deserted, and isolated.
Here are my thoughts on dealing with loneliness.
I mention in the video that it's probably not necessarily our fault if we're lonely. The way our society is constructed has us further apart than we've been in the past.
The benefit of this is that there are places you can find like-minded people and form connections!
On the other hand... Sometimes it is our fault. At least to some extent.
It may sound harsh, but there's a very real possibility that we may have some character flaw that seems to drive people away from us.
It may be easier to think of this in terms of other people, and not ourselves. For example, there may have been an overly aggressive person from whom you've distanced.
If this is you, that's okay. We all have flaws. We're all on a journey to self-improvement.
Even if you've irrevocably angered EVERY person you've met (which is highly unlikely), it's still not the end of the world.
There are people you haven't met yet that will love you.
At the end of the day, we don't need an army of friends to not be lonely.
In fact, it's entirely possible to be around many people and still lonely.
There is a HUGE difference between having 1 person and having nobody.
I hope this video can help some of you find that one person.
Legal Notice: Consult your doctor before beginning any kind of exercise program. This video does not replace a physical therapy program or consultation with a medical professional.
#hybridcalisthenics #loneliness
0:00- Introduction
1:20- Loneliness Is Not Just About Being Alone
2:01- Is There Something Wrong With Me?
3:30- It Is Not Your Fault.
5:20- Soulmate Example
7:21- Being Choosy Is Not Necessarily Bad
9:49- Summary: It is Not Your Fault
10:49- It Is A Numbers Game
12:06- The Difference Of One
13:56- Sometimes It Is Our Fault
15:10- Trouble Fitting In
17:20- It’s Okay
19:50- Real Example
21:10- Be Helpful When You Can
23:56- Outro
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There are people you haven't met yet that will love you.
Thanks for waiting everyone! I'm back and will be making content on the regular schedule.
Welcome back!
_Noice_
Thank you, I'll be more active on discord... See you there!
congratulations on getting married!
So true.
What a strange coincidence that I've been feeling nothing but loneliness lately and this video shows up. Hampton, you are a blessing in my RUclips feed.
tbhh
Saaame
Ditto
Same :c
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Welcome back Hampton. Enjoyed hearing your perspective on this topic, it's bound to help at least 1 person 😉.
Hahaha thanks a bunch Daniel! I hope it does! ❤️
This video was already great but daniel being here makes it even greater!!!
Wow, Daniel watches Hampton, that’s awesome!!
@Intertwined Rain If u don’t know daniel from fitnessfaq then idk what to tell u
Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you. - Carl Jung
And additionally I think it's also having no one validating you as a person, not feeling recognised and loved.
It is a beautiful thought expressed in words. Bravo! No surprise you discovered that the earth is round way before the modern world.
People always say how kind and positive Hampton is, but I don’t see many about how well spoken he is. I feel like his words make me feel like I’m not alone when I feel lonely. Thank you Hampton
wut
Hi bro. No homo
@@_Wai_Wai_ why’d you say no homo after saying hi
@@callmemobile5956 I know you are lonely, but please no homo
Loneliness is not about being alone, it's most likely about not being around the right people.
Totally agree
Not being around the right people is part of it, but it’s also feeling the loneliness that comes from being separated from yourself, where you feel like you could say, “I’m not myself today” but maybe you desist because the expected contemptuous response might be, “then who the f are you? Get away from me, ye freak!” So you feel even more lonely because you think there isn’t anyone who understands you, who knows what it’s like to feel like 100 percent yourself one day, and the next day like 30 percent of yourself.
Yep. I'm around my parents everyday, and I love my parents, but I'm incredibly lonely all the same.
@@ltb1345 dont worry you'll grow up eventually. Passes fast
Loneliness is like hunger. Even if you're eating, you might not have the right nutrients in your food to be healthy.
It may not be fair to expect any one relationship to feel ALL the parts of your soul.
But if you recognize the value in many different people/relationships, you will probably find ways to be fed enough for all your needs.
You won't feel unloved or bereft.
Dear Hampton I know you don’t know me or probably will never ever read this, but this is TOTALLY the video I needed for a long time now, and I just wanted to say, thank you.
Like a lot of RUclipsrs he usually reads the comments an hour or two after posting. I'm certain he will see your comment and appreciate the sentiment even if he doesn't comment back.
@@CoderGirl44 People like you give me hope that there’s still some decency and love out there and I’m really thankful for your kind words. This is my day one of improving myself , I will return to se how are you doing as well from one year on now (October 13 2021).
See ya on the other side!
@@argentandroid5732 thanks for the kindness of your message, and I wish you the best of success!
@@DiegoSilva-dk4io don't worry bro we are with you, for the past few months I've been suffering from loneliness but I have a wonderful family and a great friend that helped me get better hope you'll do great and find people you can connect with and so do I, best of luck for the future
I read it. I hope the video can help at all! Hang in there.
I feel lonely long before covid, but it got worst during the pandemic and the worst part is that I prefer to be alone. With all of this, I created a social phobia. The more lonely I feel, more away I am from people.
I can empathise, I've always been pretty solitary but this last year or so has been much more solitary than usual. And even now it's hard to break that because the habit of being alone is so engrained, and things are still not really "back to normal" where I am.
I can understand it happened to most of us. What helped me was to look at the bright side of things. I became more health conscious, be grateful for little things, started looking for good hobbies. Cooking was the first one and today it is such a stress buster for me. There's nothing wrong in saying that you prefer to be alone sometimes because that's where you learn more about yourself and try to self reflect instead of having someone else's judgment or validation. If you don't love the person when you're alone then it might be more difficult when you're with someone.
For a lot of my life I've considered myself an introverted person who prefers to be alone. But because of that assumption I never tried breaking out of my shell, and when I did I felt so ALIVE talking with people. Not for everyone, but always make sure. Always try new things and do what you like more, do what you don't like less - but at least try it out.
Me too! I think of myself as the loneliest loner. And like you said, its a spiral. The more I stay alone, whether by choice or coincidence, the harder it is to be around other people. But as I write this, Hampton is saying it only takes one good friend. So, I’ll pray for that one person to come to me, and that I will not somehow drive them away when they finally come.
For whatever it's worth...
I'm secretly rooting for all my lonely brethren and sistren in the comments.
You are loved, talented, and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend. You have a LOT to offer. Don't give up!
Every 'failed' friendship or relationship is gradually narrowing down the pool of people who will truly change your life for the better.
You got this! You have an army of people here to support you.
It's like he read my emotions and uploaded this could not have been better timing.
❤️
I recently went through my mom's old pictures and was struck by how long she kept a core group of friends who stayed in the neighborhood and they all got together on a regular basis even through middle age. I actually envy that. Also, I just realized I'm overdue to invite some friends over for a night of crafting. 🙂
True
My honey passed on 9-21-21. And I am lonely. So I look forward to hearing from you.
I'm so sorry my friend. I hope and pray for you and your loved one to be well.
My condolences, wish all the best for you and your family.
My Condolences😔
I think something important to add to the sometimes it's our fault part is sometimes, you might be too unwilling to open up about yourself. Maybe due to trust problems, or you're just too closed off in general. I couldn't trust anyone enough to open up to for a long time and it made me seriously lonely. Thanks for the video, Hampton!
I was gonna put my phone away for the night but like, dang, I gotta watch this
It really do be like that
All the interesting videos come up when your putting your phone away😭
Loneliness is an excess of love inside you and no one to give it to. Some people feel more deeply than others and that intensity can be what is pushing them away
That's so on point, it's scary. Thanks for putting words to that.
From calisthenics to life philosopher back and forth. A very well rounded dude and pleasant to listen to.
Loneliness isn't about the number of people you've around you but the inability to be comfortable with the most important person in your life, namely yourself.
Couldn't have picked better timing my friend, still reeling from a long term relationship that ended, this definitely helps me on those nights that are harder than most, thank you Hampton.
Stay strong friend. Wishing you all the best
I'm in one of those nights right now, and truth is I feel better after watching the video. Really hope you are doing good man
Something really helpful for me was the book ‘How to win friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie.
The title may sound extreme, but it really made me aware about how to talk to people.
It also helped me to understand other people.
A big step for self growth and being social for sure!
Good luck all and feel free to message :)
Oh yes! A great read!
"Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise!"
@@Kris_Makes_Videos_at_3am You got it girl ;)
When I feel lonely I remind myself that my friend has just married his lovely fiancé so I need to back off a bit and hopefully one day there comes a new coffee episode :)
Thank you so much, dear friend, I really struggle with loneliness so much these days... I need to try building my little community, can't live like this =_=
Don't give up, friend. 👊🏼
@@lowellcalavera6045 Thank you, friend! 💚🖖
This has came at the best time really, I just have been giving my whole life, and everyone I’ve ever helped has just left me. And although this may seem like an exaggeration, it’s not. I’m just so lonely all the time, and have no idea how to stop it.
I can relate to you soo much! You're not alone!
Idk if this helps lately these years I've been alone too, what I've done to forget that feeling I've been teaching myself martial arts, learning a new language and started a tiny business. Idk it helps sometimes or write your thoughts on a journal I used to do that to drop some weight off my thoughts sound stupid but it helped. I hope this tip will help you
@@ripvanwinkle1537 thank you, I’ve have been doing this, and it helps. But I think the constant giving of favors and helping with nothing in return has been kinda keeping me down :/
Trust me is not. People does this to me all the time. Look for good people that give than take.
@@johnsonfamilynaturals your page looks cool
Hello Hampton! Congrats on getting married!
One thing that made me feel real lonely is that even though I had a couple good friends, I felt like they had more friends and closer friends than me. That thought was always the worst.
Congratulations on getting married man happy for you!!!
I actually dealt with so much loneliness before and I can actually say that, I don't feel that lonely anymore cause I start working out and actually start journaling and just being gratefull to everything even with small little thing and the thing is that you will actually get lonely every now and then and it's alright, it's a natural emotions you juat need to let it all out and cry that's just it. you gotta accept that you are irrational being and that of you being that lonely is actually not true
I've always been alone and enjoyed it. But lately I've been feeling very isolated. It makes me worried because I've been neglecting building relationships for years and almost feel like that ship has sailed. Thanks for making this video. It has helped put things into perspective.
This literally came out at the perfect time. Was searching forthis exact video last night. Thanks.
Congratulations on your wedding. I hope it was everything you both wished for and more.
I seem to have been guided to your page at the exact right moment. I have felt truly lonely lately as I was diagnosed with a medical condition that causede to give up my career.
Your words helped me so much and I truly thank you. I could honestly listen to you all day, and I like everyone else, look forward to many morning coffees together.
My dream is also to get married to the woman of my dreams at my future wedding. I would love to get married in Japan. I love the Japanese culture since I was a boy.
yo, hope you're doing good now!
I am so glad I came across your channel!
I literally was crying about being lonely hours before u uploaded the video. Thank you Hampton.
I really appreciate how you present hard questions with such love and touch. Thanks for your content. Resonates a lot
This is the video that I needed since I feel so distance from my friend group and I had to cut off two of my closest friends since they got into a relationship and basically forgot about me. Thank you so much Hampton and I aspire to be you. And I hope everyone can overcome their problems alongside with me
With the point you made about just enjoying having someone to message through your day is 100% I absolutely love to have that someone who I can just message anything to and it's so great! Glad your back man I love your videos, whether it's these ones or you calisthenics ones, much love man👌
Hampton, I found your channel a few months ago & I'm glad I did. You're very wise my friend. We need more ppl like you in this world.
This was incredibly validating. I cannot stress how much I needed to watch this today. Thank you, Hampton.
i love this camera angle, background and the nature noises. it feels like im there having coffee w hampton. great video, would love to see more!
Great upload time. Having no friends in a new high school is starting to take a toll on my mental health.
Hampton, I have so much love for you. Thank you so much for who you are and what you do.
Thank you for this video Hampton, I'm right now in college, I have people around me but I still feel lonely, this video really helped.
Again, thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing all that you do. I'm trying to get back into taking care of myself. Looking forward to the podcasts and more content. Wishing you wellness.
Been a huge rut lately and came across this video. Thank you, Hampton.
Congratulations to you and yours and THANK YOU! Our world needs more of your practical and honest words 🙏
Thank You Hampton for bringing this topic. I don't have a lot of people in my life but I am glad that whoever are there I can reach out to them if I ever feel the need to talk to someone. With that being said I love my own company. I firmly believe that if you cannot love yourself when you're alone then it will be even more difficult when there will be someone around.
I've been watching a lot of your videos recently and thanks to you I'm never alone!
You're always so sincere and thorough in your explanations and opinions, I love the openness you have here about the positive and the negative sides of the problem. Coffee with Hampton is definitely a huge help for a lot of people and I'm glad you're going to keep it up, as well as your workout videos. It's just such a blessing for me to have found your channel, you're so positive and you always make me smile. You made my day with this video.
Wow, my loneliness has been peaking day by day to insane levels these past few months, seen one friend a week ago and 3 weeks ago, that's about it and the more I'm at home the worse it gets...I gotta go out for a walk tomorrow. Thanks for the upload!
Absolutely insane lighting, great job Hampton, great video
The first time I saw your video I subscribed immediately. Your flow and vibe, everything about you is just so comfortable with me. This is the first time I left my comment on your channel. Thank you for making these videos and making me feel being understood. Thank you for telling me that it may be my fault or not that it's hard for me to have deep connection with people. But most important is that we don't have to be so hard on ourselves and it there's something we know we could do better, then we could always make self-improvement.
I very much enjoy your positivity Hampton. My experience is exactly this one, I feel very lonely, I have no one to talk to or no one that understands me. And I usually don't mind, but like you said, humans need to connect. I just feel it's unfair, because I've always tried to live my life being the best I could be to others and myself. I'm still hoping I can find this 1 person that will change everything. Thanks for this video and your content in general.
Hampton my friend, thank you for all your meaningful content, keep doing what your doing 🙏
Video came right when I needed it, thank you Hampton.
Dude. You have brought so much needed light into my life. Thank you.
Amazing perspective and eloquently spoken! Everyone here is benefiting from this modern world because it brought us the chance to hear all your insights through the internet when otherwise we never would have gotten the chance. Thanks for all your content.❤️😃
Thank you for this Hampton. I’m new to your content and this is exactly the kind of content I want to see. Much appreciated!
This guy is really something. I found him through his fitness videos and man, his advice here is likewise amazing. Thank you Hampton!
I watch your videos to practice my English. Love your calm voice and beautiful messages. I've learned a lot throughout Coffee with Hampton series. Thank you so much and have a nice day too 😇
Hampton, Thank you for doing this. I have been alone for a few years after my divorce. I do have my kids and family that I visit whenever needed, but what I've learned from living alone is that there is strength with being alone. At times, it feels empty but the rebound from those periods create a mentally stronger mindset when I am around people.
Thank you for all your kindness and sharing of love. You are a kind fellow human.
Thank you, Hampton. I come back to this video every now and then. I've struggle with social anxiety since I was 13; whilst I've improved a lot in that regard since then, I still struggle with connecting with others and keeping friends. I'm still happy for all the interactions I've had, I just still have a lot to figure out and improve on.
I like your positive outlook, and you have a lot of wisdom that I find helpful. Thanks for being there for others, even strangers on the internet that you can't see haha.
This guy manages to be so soft and gentle while also ruthlessly disintegrating your ego. Good content.
"Kind Words" is an awesome game to cheer others up and let yourself be cheered up when I feel down. It always makes my day feel more meaningful when I write some letters to others who need it, and also get some supporting words back.
You mentioned that you try to make it short, please don't. I love these long talks and just helps me relax and reflect on myself and perspective of others. Thank you again.
I love this guy, so very well spoken im happy to see your channel growing
Dear Hampton, I've been watching your videos quite a while and I'd like to personally thank you for somehow knowing my problem and helping me with em. I've been terrified for several years with being a loner (with grad school and all that) and I really wanted to give everything up altogether. I guess it's fight or flight kicking in. Making effort back then, and even now to make acquaintances seems futile. But these videos about fitness (I'm still obese tho') and personal care, I can't thank you enough for...everything.
Thank you for being your wonderful self. I'm cheering for you on your journey and in super happy for every step of progress you've made. Keep it up!!!
How the hell can someone have such a soothing voice no matter the topic? I swear I’m both being put to sleep while being drawn into the conversation so deeply.
Also who knew I needed this so much
Thank you so much for this. I was stuck in this situation
Thank you so much for uploading, Hampton. This couldn’t have come at a better time.
God bless you Hampton! Thank you for being so inspirational.
I'm new to this community. I love your heart and lovely spirit. I look forward to watching more. Loneliness has been a big thing for me because of trauma and recently making a lot of tough decisions. Trauma tends to create isolation. I'm doing well and am grateful for the awareness of what's going on inside of me. And when I am able, I truly enjoy reaching out to serve someone else. So, here's to healing journeys! 🙏🤗
Thanks for speaking on this Hampton,
I'm personally married, have plenty of coworkers, a few friends, and see hundreds of people a day working in a vaccination clinic, yet I'm so lonely in the last year or two. I don't connect strongly with friends and that's definitely the problem. It's also true that I find myself being choosy about friends, and I think others being choosy has meant our connections have become tenuous and faded.
At least knowing these things means taking some control!
I needed this video, this hit my soft spot and I feel like I pushed one of my closest friends away and I've been feeling terrible ever since. They were one of my true closest best friend I've ever met and I miss them
Very good timing! I appreciate the video for myself and others
Congrats on the marriage! I've just been getting into the cali game, and your videos have been super helpful and encouraging!
I’ve been feeling lonely, for a very long time. It’s hard to find anyone who even wants to talk to me. I’m 16 and I’m on my third high school and I’m a Junior, it’s just hard. Ive been working out and just doing good in school and you know, I’m happy I think, I work out everyday and I play video games, I just it’s sad to wake up with no texts or end school with nothing or going to bed with nothing. I don’t have anyone lol. But I’m glad my mom and step dad are here for me and that’s all I need I think. I don’t know.
it’s like we’re the same person man…
Parents are definitely helpful but I'm in the same kind of space in life and I think that you and I both kinda need more. Parents are like a foundation we can return to, but we need friends to build relationships with, you know?
You're ok my friend, you'll be ok. I'm 19, very much the same issue, had it back then, kinda have it now. I too am lucky to have good parents and a few good friends. You will find someone, I don't know when but you will. Till then, keep working out and playing good games and studying. Good luck and I wish you the best my friend.
You'll find a good friend it took me years to find a legit friend. But now he got a girlfriend u know what that means so yeah right now we're on the same boat. But the guy I'm talking about he is good guy I just wished he visit once in a while
@@jostrr man, we got it, I’m just waiting for college… well after I graduate I’m going into the military to make me better as a person and to find more friends hopefully lol.
Thanks for sharing! It's an interesting subject. I'm appriciating all those different insights and thoughts.
“We are all working on ourselves. We’re all on some path of self-improvement, in some way. So it’s okay. You’re definitely not alone.”
Your words always give me a different perspective on things, thank you so much for the time you put into helping other people such as myself :)
The algorithm autoplayed this after one of your other videos, and you have no idea how much I needed this today. Thank you so much.
You give great advice and inspired me to begin doing exercise! Thank you Hampton and I hope you are having a great day
wow the algorithm is getting more and more precise lately. this is exactly what I need rn, thanks a lot Hampton!! :)
Hope you are feeling good now :)
Wtf, why are you so wholesome bro?🥺 I only discovered your content last week and each video just makes me like you that much more. Keep winning bro, you're such an inspiration :)
Great balanced viewpoint and gentle delivery
Thanks so much, i really needed this one!!
Thank you Hampton such a great insight.
I am in a very dark place right now and your video really helped me. Thank you.
Why do I find your voice calming and convincing... I will start listening to this guy, what he says make sense.
Your video always come at the right time
This will likely sound weird, but I spend a lot of time alone, but I am significantly less lonely than I used to be. Partially because I found some friends, and people I enjoy spending time with.
But by far the biggest thing that ameliorates loneliness is a concept few people understand: you are a form of company with yourself. When you are alone, for better or worse, you are spending time with yourself. That is a form of company. You are only physically alone; mentally you are plural.
When I don't like spending time with myself, and I don't enjoy my own company, that is when I feel most lonely, and isolated. Often this springs up from negative self-talk, or malingering on my failures, deficiencies and what I lack.
Once I learned how to enjoy my own company, and find peace with who I am and what I enjoy doing, not only did I come to enjoy solitude more, but I also found people who also enjoyed my company. Not many, and not often, but enough to feel a little less alone.
Start by learning to enjoy your own company, then the rest will naturally follow.
when I was a child at school I used to stand with groups of people to not look out of place but was too afraid to converse so would seem awkward and the group would gravitate away from me.This would lead to me becoming depressed throughout my school years. I also have ODD so when I was younger I would release my anger in the toilets by punching the walls. I think I was looked on as the weird, introverted kid at school and have never been able to shake it even as an adult. I work as an artist/animator so have never found friends from work because I work from home. I have tried to connect with people over social media including other artists who do similar work but have mostly been aired or have had short conversations which have led to nothing. I feel very isolated and lonely but I will start implementing some of the things from this video. I started watching you when I started getting into shape in 2018 but my favourite videos are your coffee with Hampton videos.
this was nice and helpful, thank you Hampton!
This video really helped open my eyes. Also, Congrats on your marriage man! Wish you the best! 🥳
Congrats on the wedding boss.
Thanks for this vid.....kind of needed something like this
You have no idea how much I needed this video
I'm incredibly thankful that I don't need the video right now, I still really enjoyed it tho! I and so many others are always rooting for your self improvement journey!
Oh my gosh!!! I actually asked for this video on discord and THE MAN did it! Thank you Hampton! (you guys send discord messages too, he answers a lot)
A couple months ago I was feeling really lonely, and I just noticed this now. I’m watching this now so that I can be better with this later if it comes back, so thank you!
I really needed this thank you.
how can even people dislike this? this is good. thank you for this
I just wanna say, your videos have really saved me from dark times. Thank you for staying pure and true to yourself. I appreciate your work and points of view.
Thank you, Hampton! You are trying to help the WHOLE person - not only fitness but mental health as well. I really respect and appreciate that.
Much appreciated! Glad to see you back.
After watching this video I've just realised that I should appreciate what I have now. I have a wonderful best friend who always supports me and helps me to hold on. I've recently met a good person online and we have nice conversations. And it feels alright but it seems that everyone has a lot not so close friends that company who they can hang out with. But not me. And when it pops up I start to think that something's wrong with me. Sometimes I don't even know if I want to have more friend or is it just a social pressure. I'm trying to let this situation go and just let things go how they go. Thank you so much for this video, Hampton!
This was really nice to watch. I recently fell out of contact with that "one good friend", so I've been trying to work through that. It's been hard.