If you feel discouraged - remember that you came from a long, long line of people who successfully had kids. --- Hope you're all having a great day! I'm still setting it up - but I want to give more focus on podcast episodes like this and officially rebrand the podcast to be called Coffee With Hampton. The description should soon have Spotify and other podcast links! I'll try to get some regular scheduling, different graphics, etc. I want to use the podcast to talk more about life and other topics outside of physical fitness. Have a great weekend!
@@PramkLuna I am confident, I have had to learn it. But it's just different. No matter how confident I am, my mind will always go back to the pretties girl ever existed.
Im nearly 60 and have been single for most of my life. Wish someone had given me your kind advice a few decades ago! Never too late to start trying a bit harder I suppose... You are a nice person for reaching out to people as you do. Thank you.
This is what the world needs more of, instead of pickup artists, guides on being an "alpha male" and other dumb and often harmful advice. Working on yourself, being calm, caring and compassionate gets you way further in life than anger and resentment, not only in relationship but also in terms of your own happiness.
I see these types all around me. All fake bravado emanating like pheromones to women who fawn over them. At the end of the day, these never last. The ones that truly lasts are the ones they can connect spiritually and emotionally.
I craved a relationship for the longest time. To the point to where I did some pretty dumb stuff in order to compensate for the emptiness I felt. But now after being in my first genuine relationship for about 3 months I can firmly say that I could live without one. It's not that it's a bad relationship, quite the opposite it's been wonderful. But I always thought that being in a relationship would solve all my problems, and make me feel whole. It's only now after being in a loving relationship that I realize that I never needed one to become whole. To anyone out there who feels lonely or sad because they don't have a partner, don't. I know it's easier said than done but you're only hurting yourself now instead of helping yourself in the future. My best wishes to all you out there ♥️
I reached a somewhat similar conclusion after my first, that I guess it'll work out either way. Mine ended a little over 7-8 months into it, but I'd like to think I came out a little more mature person.
I keep hearing people saying that I shouldn't feel sad but fact is that I still feel sad. I mean if I could just decide to stop being sad then I would do that but that isn't really how it works. At least for me.
@@rinku3332 your beliefs/perceptions cause your emotions. It'd be a good practice to analyse the thoughts you have when you feel sad. How much of it is rooted in your sense of self? This is why working on yourself is the first step to being happy.
After an argument I usually think "what could I have said differently, in order to have won, or to have attacked them" I just realised after watching this video... What a shitty thing to do. I'd much rather spend my time thinking about why it got to me and what I could do better than to spend time thinking about what I could've done to hurt someone else. You're amazing. Thank you so much.
I used to/do think of myself as a good person, but my first reaction was to try and snap at you for being a jerk. Looks like we both need to work on not being assholes 😅
For the longest time, I've had this mindset lurking in the back of my head, that I'm not a person that other people want to hang out with. I've taught myself that if by chance, I happen to socialize with anyone, it's a mere coincidence, and I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I just happened to be at a certain place at a certain time when other people were hanging out and just let me hang around. I just recently figured out that this is how I've lived my life, thinking that by default, I'm unlikeable, and if you let people choose between hanging out with me, or not hanging out with me, they will always choose the second option. Looking forward to work on that, cause that's really unfair to myself.
I've always had this thoughts. I changed school quite a few times, and always ended up being the outcast. Now I'm in college, and still experiencing the same even though I did take effort in trying to socialize, although it's does get awkward lol.
Wow... same. I grew up in environments that communicated to me (both directly and indirectly) that I was in fact just tolerated, and given the choice, literally anything else is more important to a person than me. Over time, I learned Hampton's first point and I left those people who didn't want me. But boy has it been lonely. The people who don't want me are mostly gone now, but I haven't quite found the people who do. This past year I've been working on being brave and putting myself out there. And i think it is working. I think what Hampton said is true - sometimes you're just not visible enough. Hang in there. I know it can really suck sometimes but we can find genuine connections and love ❤️
Meh, you're probably just overthinking this. I mean you could be a social black whole, which sucks the fun out of everything, but I doubt that, people like this are rare. You'll be fine. I believe in you.
2:56 called me out 😭😭😭 I’m so guilty of romanticizing things before anything serious ever really happens :,) love this video, definitely working on some of the things mentioned in this one!
@@HybridCalisthenics true, but that's also something someone without coffee in their cup would say... sounds like someone has a fear, or is insecure about being found out... wait a minute, I got it! You talk about having coffee in the cup as a distraction, the cup itself is CGI, I've uncovered your secret!
😂 I was confused about why he said that. I never doubted him for a second and wondered if he drinks fake coffee or pretends to drink coffee or something.
Hey king, you're right. It's all about self-honesty and the willingness to connect in an honest way. As another 20 yr old waiting for good relationships, needing to work on my social reach, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Same her bro except I'm 18 and still waiting. I mean im that kind of person who have a crush on her for straight 5-6 yrs..i mean i dont want any short term relationship bc im sure i will love her long enough for me to break into pieces. (Ignore the wrong grammar)*
You can't "wait." It is unfortunetly unlikely anyone will approach you. You have to search. I'm 23, been "waiting" since I was 17, still single. The main reason why is...because I am waiting for someone to see me! Truth is, people will not be observant unless you show them what to pay attention to because everyone has no spare attention. If this is something you want, you have to pursue it. Best tips I've recieved is to make friends with the gender you are attracted to. Reason? Because they have friends, and so do theirs, and this social validation network means you are automatically positively recieved. This is much easier than any other method because you don't need to prove yourself before people give you a chance, which you have to do as a stranger. You also get friends, and practise so even if this does'nt work, you still gain a net positive.
Adding to the last point, I would also add that instead of stressing out about needing to find a partner by time point X, maybe reflect on whether that's actually your life model. Some people find their passion in another person, which is wonderful, but others find their passion in their work, in arts, in baking, in friends, and that's all equally wonderful. The life model of having a romantic partner and kids is one that works for many, but there are other models, too, and there's no one-fits-all.
I hear you on this one! I've been in a few relationships (I'm 60 now) and have always been happier NOT in one. I'm at that point where I'm thinking it's just not for me. I also say, "Never say never", however I have no desire to "look" and if it never happens again I'm good with that.
Throughout my school years almost all my friends would have a new girlfriend pretty much every week, but even as a young teenager that idea never sat well with me, which resulted in me being laughed at and being joked about a lot, and of course it made me feel bad about myself, but now that I'm older I'm quite glad I never did any of that, I've kind of accepted that the right girl will come into my life when everything is right, I'd rather work on myself and improve my life instead of feeling bad that I don't have anyone.
Mostly a culture thing. From where I grew up, having a new girlfriend per week would be frowned upon. Not to mention the horrifyingly high increase in STDs and genital cancers after the launch of Tinder (I'm not making this up. There are data based evidence, but that's a whole other issue). They might as well be the butt of the joke, not you. Improving yourself and learning is how I found my soulmate. Physical attraction is short-lived, mental connection is forever.
You look like 20 but have the wisdom of someone that is 60. thank you for doing such a tremendous job in helping people to get fit and love themselves. Mental health and good routines are so so so important
Instructions unclear. Took fitness rings on a date to work on myself. She was not impressed. 😄 Jokes aside, those are all good ideas well presented. You're helping a lot of people with more than fitness. Thank you.
Was in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 5 1/2 years. He recently ended things with me a week or two ago. It has been extremely difficult as he was my entire world, my support system, and my best friend. Really trying to adapt to my new lifestyle of being by myself…..it’s been very hard.
it is often difficult being lonely and broke, seeing everyone around having relationships and an all around good time while you are struggling financially and emotionally. this is incredibly motivating advice! thank you sincerely!
In a podcast someone said: spend time doing the things that interest you, that you are passionate about. And I agree so much. You'll be enjoying the activity and you'll meet people who can share that with you. It'll be easier to talk to them and get to know them that way. So I agree with your advice, I think this can lead to something and then another opportunity, meeting new people amd so on.
@@HybridCalisthenics you like your coffee the same way my grandpa did. He would say that sweeteners and creamers ruin the coffee. But I'm a tea drinker so I can't confirm if he was right or not.
@@Amanda247- ahhhh, a fellow tea drinker. I've found that not much people like drinking tea, especially in my age group (18). But I guess I'll be 50 eventually(hopefully)
Some people does not want to be around you was a eye opener! Most of my life I have put a lot of effort to make people like me. Now my focus is authencity and accepting being alone as a gift.
My advice is go out and see people build up your life get more mature and more experienced with people and then it's the perfect time to find a soul mate because there r tones of commitments based on teenage mistakes . So if u r a teenager do not worry and don't get sad at all because that might be for the better for the time
Where would you suggest to go to find and meet new friends . I enjoy going outside but I don’t actually really like my friends . It’s like a popular lonely situation where everyone knows me or are friendly with me and I used to have a few close friends but they aren’t exactly the “best” people I want to hang with
@@rc915 i get it there are many people like this I've been in this position one day .sometimes the type of society you in determine what or how many friends you have some societies are closed and more into work so sometimes u can't even have a chance to interact with others even when you are bumping into them all the time...but for me personally i almost had no close friends in high school i hang out with some but not really friends and then i went to college got some closer friends but not alot . And I've just finished college and had to find a temporary job so i got one even if i didn't like it and at this point i gave up the idea that i could find anyone might share the same thoughts and interests but for my surprise i found an incredible people just like my situation and interests some are artists like me and others are gamers and stuff so the point is you might find the right people in the unexpected places just keep the this fact in your head that there are amazing people who would happily be your friends but u gotta find them in someway and that's reasonable social interaction... You gotta put some effort and start volunteering in homeless people help centers or go finding jobs if you don't already maybe joining classes in things you have interest in or joining gym or a nearby football team ...cuz there are hidden friends everywhere (plus some shitty people here and there) you'll always one some experience or people out of any social activity Sorry for the long reply but i had to give my perspective
@@k.k8791 thanks man I really appreciate it and it’s nice hearing your never the only one even if you already knew . I already go gym but I’m rarely approached as it’s quite a small gym anyways . I’m quite introverted in the sense I usually don’t start the conversation (my social skills are fine tho) but I’m not like always at home and don’t hate going out . I’m not too bothered about my appearance but I do have quite bad black circles due to poor sleep routine . It feel like this era or generation you need to be over the top or almost not yourself just to a “good” person or liked . Idk but I guess only time will tell as to what’s to come
@@rc915 no biggie .u still have a plenty of time to turn things around and life will throw chances every now and then make sure to take them. Sometimes u need to do the hard work and change your environment...and don't worry about the black circles they can be fixed with some sleep 😉
I've been reminding myself recently that it's hard to have friends if I don't put in the time to go to their parties or whatever. Getting over that initial burst of anxiety has been a huge stress reliever for me, actually, because it's always ended up being more fun than just staying home!
I am not sure if anyone ever gonna see read this, but yeah, being a teen and thinking that you can't find anyone in addition to realising how tricky definition of point of life is, is very hard. I am 16 and your videos have greatly impacted me and my way of living. Thanks once again!
Been married for 20 years this month. Met somebody who took me at face value. I had problems I was going through at the time, and she helped me through it. We had a couple of miscommunications early on. Now we are doing very well together and have a very good marriage. When she and I got married, guys I used to work with at the time gave us six months, it's been a long six months. In short, relationships are about work. In hindsight, I see that those whom I used to have an interest in before I met my wife were not interested in the work necessary for a proper relationship.
Another thing that was a bit comforting to me considering I’ve never dated before is thinking to myself “if I were someone else would I want to date me?” And to be honest, no, I wouldn’t, I have low self esteem, I am really shy, anxious, depressed etc. I don’t look or dress amazing, and I’m not really special or anything, I know I’m not unlovable but I think it’s good to be self aware and put things into perspective. Not that you yourself are the problem necessarily, but sometimes it just helps me to realize that, and I don’t feel so frustrated by the fact that no one has liked me in that way.
Thanks man, good points, i sometimes stressing out over girls not liking me when the truth is I don't interact with them that much and i think low self-esteem plays a big part in it, especially when you putting yourself down and falling even deeper in your misery while there are plenty of people who will be comfortable with you. Expending your reach is truly an important thing. Hope everyone having a good week)
Here's a viewpoint that helped me: not everyone is for everyone. In fact, meeting someone you'll truly love is likely a 1/1,000,000 chance. It's perfectly okay if you are not someone's one in a million. Understanding that, it's best to try and meet someone respectfully, and then to just play it slow before committing yourself, even if you really want a girlfriend. P.S. I'm still single though, but going on either an outing or a date with a coworker soon (depending if we like eachother)
Thanks so much. Got married after 5 year No regrets. Moved to another country so I really liked what you said on point number two. I've noticed some drop off and why should I be around people that don't want to be around me or try to stay connected to those that don't want to stay connected. Not taking it personally but it did hurt initially and your video really helped.💜🙏👍
I really needed this advice. I know that I want to be in a relationship but right now the only reason I'm not in one is because I'm focusing on becoming a Nurse by passing the NCLEX. Right now I'm in a tough situation where I live with my toxic family again. I'm forced to confront my past traumas from them. Sadly, the only way to get out of this situation is to pass and get my career started so I can move out. It's been a long journey for me that's all I can say...
Dating with a toxic family will be the worst decision you'll ever make. They belittled my girlfriend and I was not strong enough and started to resent being in a relationship with her. Im just waiting to move out.
@@akhilpillay4262 Yeah that's another reason why I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Also, I promised myself when I get my nursing career in Nursing started that I would get a therapist after everything I've been through. Because I don't want my future girlfriend/wife to be my therapist if that makes sense.
Sounds like you'll make a fabulous nurse. If you haven't already scout youtube for "how to study" because there's some coaches out there with banger science and tips to be actually efficient and improve things like medical studies. I tripped into it through language learning and it's so cool to find gems like that! Also I'm rooting for you. ^^
@@AmbiCahira Thanks for the tip! I failed the nclex back in March due to both lack of time and well my family just giving me a hard time. I checked out 3 people in relation to prepping for the boards. It's been really hard since I returned from being abroad for six years.
The only thing I can control are my fitness (Thanks Campton), studying for the boards, and checking in my emotional & mental health. Like I am confident that one day I'll have a love life again but... Not in these circumstances.
hampton i did it. you saved me from a very dark place and it has been 15 months now of me very inconsistently working out. there have been ups and downs and month long gaps in my workouts but i can proudly say it has helped. i still replay episodes of coffee with hampton and it helps. i worked on getting to know myself better and switched my focus. the one bit of advice i would give for relationships is to focus on being friends first. there will be rejection and friendzoning but being able to be friends with your partner is crucial and often overlooked. i am currently dating an amazing girl who understands me and i understand her. we have a good caring relationship and i couldn’t have done it without you. thank you brother. cheers, jasper
Thank you so much for this video. I’m going through somewhat of a mental journey right now where I’m just lost and trying to find myself amidst all of my pain from loneliness and just over all lack of friends. I’ve taken a lot of time to thinking on what’s going wrong and where can I improve. But this video has answered most of those questions and allowed me to find a better mindset for them. Thank you so much, have a beautiful rest of your day.
Hey so I just read your comment and I just wanted to say that I was also going through a rough mental journey sometime ago , just know that things will get better, hope and pray for a better future, stay strong king or queen ( not assuming ) and I hope you find all that you are looking for :)
Hey man, I was also in a mental rut not long ago. Consumed by my loneliness, I only had one person to truly talk to, and we don't talk any more. It's was like I was floating aimlessly and every interaction others had seemed to be in spite of my loneliness, questioning myself and why I couldn't be like that. But it gets better, and I'm better. Keep your head up. Keep smiling.
Hey don't give up. I met my first group of friends by complete luck and coincidence. We aren't as close anymore and i mourn that but then I realized that it doesn't have to be like before and that we can be more active in that, don't just stand there and be passive and cry, you have more control than you realize. With s partner, is the same. You might grieve all the mistakes but you have learned now. Mys e the next experience is better, or worse, or just different bbuuuut you will be living and learning and that's better than being all closed up in your head. I thought I would die alone and now I talk to s lot of people, but u realize that some of my best moments ere Ina. S one on one meeting. Everyone's is different, you'll see what is best for yourself but first you gotta live, do your best, fuck it up multiple times until you find what works for you and then try to fuck up less to maintain what's important to you. Good luck
Solid advice. Although, I'm unsure about the semantics of "Finding Love" and the "Right Person." I don't think love itself is found, I think it's made - created by two (or more; I'm not judging) people who like each other and care about each other. I also don't believe that there is any right or for that matter, wrong person - there's just people who get along better or not as well. I've never found love, but I have love and I never found the right person, but I'm married... mostly happily. It's a work in progress... I believe everything in life is a work in progress. If we don't progress, we stagnate. Cheers.
@@KamisatoElias I know that this is a late response, but this really is so, so true. Building a long term relationship based purely on the emotion of "love" is really hard. Emotions change. You won't feel intense love for a specific person 24/7 every time you're around them. Instead, you actively create love between the two of you. You support them. You make them feel appreciated and heard. They do the same in return. You do your best to make each other happy, so that whenever you have time to sit down and chat, it's the highlight of your day. You make an effort to notice all of the things you appreciate about them. You point out those good qualities of theirs both to yourself and to them. They do the same in return. When things start to stagnate, you start feeling less into each other, you do your best to communicate. To find out what's wrong, what's bothering you. You make an active choice to work things out and make things better for both of you. Love is not found. Its not something that stays for years and makes you into someone you aren't. Love is made. You need to actively choose every day to cherish and be kind towards your chosen partner, to solve issues in a calm, productive and non-hurtful manner even when you're frustrated. Even when an argument starts and you don't actively feel all warm and fuzzy at the sight of them, you make a choice to be good, to not be cruel, to do your best to calm down and sort things out. If you do mess up, you own up to it and apologise. That's love. And of course, your partner needs to do the same. If you meet someone and they are great at communicating, show an active interest when you share your emotions and perspectives... Respond to you, equally invested, explain their own side... Are willing to calmly analyse an argument after it happened, tell you what they're sorry for, what hurt them... If they listen when you tell them what hurt you... That's a really good candidate for a future partner. Someone who is open to discussion and searching for solutions together, so that when love as an emotion starts to fade, you can still figure things out PS. Apologies for a wall of text, I hope it can provide some helpful insight for at least one person. Everything I said here is just an opinion of course, not the universal truth. Everyone will think differently regarding matters like this and sharing different experiences is a great thing. Also, I am not a native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there are some grammar errors or oddities!
Well, I married for love, whole package. 15 years later, after great joys and accomplishments, we are failing. It hurts on levels I can’t even describe.
If you still have fight in you to push through then learn something new together, or both pick up a hobby then share that hobby and teach eachother at home. Play games together like new boardgames, buy a cookbook with foods from a different part of the world and try new foods together to keep creating firsts. You can go to the gym together and cheer eachother on for being healthy together or take up photography trips with your phones as the cameras, or buy some crafting or assembling toys like a model ship or plane. Plant herbs to eat more fresh herbs. Rough patches can happen but finding ways to have fun together and create new memories and not just same old monotony can do wonders.
Heck yeah! I always recall what you said in the other video: _You can be the best strawberry ice-cream in the world, and some ppl will still prefer chocolate_
I've just watched a compilation of people reacting to toxic 'dating coaches' which was disgusting so now watching you is the best contrast ever And there's even a real beverage in the cup! What a cozy corner of the internet Thank you very much for your work and time, it's very appreciated 💚🌱😊
Hey, I know this comment is a bout a year late and you might never see this, but… But one professor I became friends with (didn’t have him, just befriended) got married for the first time a week before we met at the age of 66. Giddy as all can be and happy and said how all the waiting was worth his wife. His story has helped me be content with my singleness when I’m feeling down
I waited on someone for more or less a decade but it only took them 1 year of knowing the other person they fell in love with. I figured that waiting for that long isn't worth it and it's better to work on bettering yourself
It's strange, isn't it? That we see that waiting as a signifier of our character and that the other person will instinctively recognise it as our devotion and loyalty to them. Afterwards we can see it didn't mean that much to them and it was clearly our actual *time* being drained away. I hope you keep working on being the most evolved version of you, and that somebody sees your character without you having to prove your loyalty and devotion, and that you never are in doubt and waiting ever again. You deserve more, and better 🖤
I realized recently that to be in a relationship I would have to communicate with someone continuosly and talk about personal things with them. Uh. Unimaginable! Anyway, I love your videos!
16:27 minutes completely focused since the start of video. No other thoughts. Well Done bro. This was the best advice I have ever listened to. I hope I can implement this in my lifetime. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Yeah, it's typical when you are young. It feels bad when you end it because insecurities and change of feelings and then you explode and then you realize you could have done it different, but it's better to not focus on fixing after MONTHS and months and trying t rebuildi yourself
Conveniently enough, I am watching this video 4 days after being told by a guy that I went on 3 dates that "we're not compatible." I wish I knew why and asked why, but he never got back to me. I'm 40 and have been single for since 2008. The dating scene has been very small to near non existent. I love the second point of this video in terms of working on myself. That is what I have been doing. Thank you Brother Hampton. BTW, I will be ordering resistance bands from you very soon.
As a marketing related (a copywriter), I would say the same - its about how you advertise and about the product but also... 1. reach a group that could be interested 2. show them why they're interested by discovering correct insights and proving that 3. timing 4. offer a great after-sales service. Everything, of course, also as a metaphor. It's nice a young person like you have so mature thoughts. Even in my age group, around 40, there are few people with such approach.
Your videos give me such a chill vibe that for a few moments I believe everything will be okay, and maybe it will. I recently went through a breakup about 3 months ago. I thought with time I would get used to it, but I still feel discouraged, we were 4 years together. Two weeks after the breakup she started dating my best friend (she was developing feelings for him a month prior, that's the reason we broke up) I think in theory I lost two people. Unfortunately I started smoking as an escape method.
I understand your pain, friend. But trust me, things will get better. Working out and improving yourself are good coping mechanisms. And don't lose hope - you will surely find someone who truly deserves you!
Make sure not to get reliant on things like smoking. I take this to such a level that I don’t even drink coffee, just because I dislike the idea that I would need a certain food or drink or thing to feel normal. Seriously, get someone to help you not smoke, it’s devastating for your life. I typically encourage people never to ever use Reddit but in this case, you might wanna check some subreddits about quitting smoking. Just make sure not to look at anything else… Reddit is a toxic place.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, it's hard enough to lose one person you care about let alone two and it's all the more reason why you should be more kind to yourself during this time, remember to take care of yourself physically first because it can be very easy to neglect during hard times, and confide in family and close friends that you trust if you need to talk to someone. Anyways have a good day or night my friend and it will be better one day, and if you continue to work on yourself as Hampton said, you will be at a better place.
A similar thing happened to me 4 years ago and even though it still hurts sometimes I have learned to love both others and myself again. You will too. Hang in there friend. I’m so sorry.
Choose someone who celebrates you, not tolerates you. I don’t have the time or energy to be fake and phony to impress someone. That’s for young folk. I’m glad I’m old enough and mature enough now to know it’s ok to be single. Don’t let anyone disrupt your peace and happiness …..It’s absolutely perfectly fine to be single. Especially in this day and time
Wonderful video! One point to add to the improving yourself section is it doesn’t always have to be a character trait. If you can picture the kind of relationship you want to have and what skills you would need for it you can build those skills now. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and homemaker, so that is why I learned to cook in high school. Now I get to make delicious meals for my husband and son every day.
Thank you for this video Hampton, my wife left me and I think we will get divorced. I can’t even think about meeting someone else. I’m 38 years old and I never learned how to be alone. I know it will be a struggle and not easy but I want to work on the most important relationship in my life - the relationship with myself.
The only person we will be forever with is ourselves. The most important thing is to be happy with oneself. And that's an important key, because other people will only take you if you bring positive stuff into their lives. And by the same token, we should take in only those that contribute positively.
On the second point of working on yourself, if I'm talking to someone I've just met and I communicate something to them about their behaviour that doesn't feel good to me and they dismiss my thoughts, I immediately lose interest. It shows that the person isn't interested in being introspective and challenging how they view the world and life in general. Instead of waiting around waiting for them to get it later on, I'd rather leave before I get attached to the person and they become a stable part of my life and it becomes a source of major conflict because it most definitely will. So good point.
Needed to hear this, I've been in the "trying to convince them" stage with someone and its been stressing me out for months now. Now I can put that energy towards myself!
Thank you Hampton. I love the longer videos and would love a weekly podcast, too. I know time is rare, but selfishly I have to say I would even listen to a daily podcast. Much love and energy!
True, but despite that, if your a man, your gonna have to kiss ass if you wanna earn a woman's time to spend on getting to know you. I think if society didnt play by gender norms, men and woman would get along far better. Less insecurities for one
Hampton, I don’t think you will look at my comment. But believe me my friend, you really deserve the best. Watching your videos gives me the same serenity and clear of thought like Meditation 🧘♂️. Keep up the good work, and Goodluck with all your future plans. Much love - random person on the internet.
They say the "puppy love" stage lasts two years. Don't get struck by it! Love takes work. You have to work hard to make a relationship work. Great advice Hampton! Thanks!
Thank you Hampton. I listened to your content nearly every single day for half a year now while riding my bike, or going for a run. It‘s such nice tune to chill out. You have a great voice, a charismatic appearence but most of all, you find the right words to describe a difficult topic. Especially with your older videos you helped me through some rough days, snd some dark thoughts. Don‘t get me wrong, I love your new videos too. ;) You became such a role model for so many young men and women and I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do.
You are on point. My husband is a seller and everything you say makes since. I have been with my husband for 30 years and we always try to better each other. I am confident that we will be together forever. We don't always agree but we always try to put the other first and see their perspective.
This is one of the most wholesome videos ever. I recently found your content, in my path to fitness and self-improvement in general, and I am so happy I did. I recently broke up with my gf and soon after I relocated to Berlin, Germany, all by myself. It's a struggle sometimes.. It's good to be reminded of what I need to focus on and not be too hard on myself, while I still keep putting myself out there! I'm sure I will find like-minded people at some point, even friends and/or love! You're a gem, wish you all the best!
You share your thoughts in an open-minded and inclusive manner. This is why your message could spread to anyone. The spiritual mindset you possess does reflect on how kind your soul really seem to be. Wish you good days ahead Hampton. God bless your soul.
That's awesome advice. Bonus is that when you're working on yourself, you tend to like yourself more and gain confidence. And man, confidence is attractive.
Hampton, I don't always watch your videos, but I do do always find something I can agree with or like about what you have to say. I'd like to say that I appreciate your thoroughness and clarity. I especially think that people need to know that it's good to be with someone and stay with them if you love each other. People need people.
Proximity plays a big role in opportunities to find healthy connections. In theory is there enough people on the planet for everyone to connect romantically with someone in a deep meaningful fashion, but how everyone finds one another, in a practical, reliable fashion, is the consistent difficulty.
This video has me feeling strong man. 😭 I’d like to say I’m actively on the same page with what was said. I’m working on myself, I’m making new friends, and I’m actively working on opportunities to spend time with people. I just don’t have a girlfriend. Maybe it’s matter of waiting for the right time, but I’ll admit it’s easy to feel discouraged. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never meet someone that will love me.
Going through a rough patch right now, thank you for this video, feels like a relief. Really eye opening, keep up the good content, I aspire to be kind and mature like you some day! Have an amazing day:)
I actually came across your channel because I wanted to be healthier, I am pretty introverted but I'm going on a date this weekend for the first time in 4 years at 20 years old and I'm hoping this helps
Im quite a fit person, I work out, train kung fu, practice guitar, and Im also generally a really chill person So I guess you're right, I just haven't met the one just yet. Just wanted to share my thoughts here, thank you! 💖 :)
some people get completely insulted if you tell them we need to work on ourselves. assuming we are perfect and the world needs to bend to our will/personality is extremely unattractive and narcissistic. thanks for the vid!
Hampton, thank you for the excellent information you put out into the world! I started the Hybrid Routine 2.0 a few weeks back and it's been helping tremendously. I had severe injuries in 2017 (spinal, hip, & pelvis fractures) and never got my strength back up to what it was before. BUT - with all of your beginner/starter variations, I'm gradually building it back up =) I really appreciate your chill energy too, very wholesome content creator. Thank you Hampton!!!!!
I liked how you used examples from a totally different field to illustrate your points. It seems a bit weird to compare romance/love and business, but I think in these instances it worked.
appreciated about “time and patience” was feeling really anxious after someone close critiqued me for not already have started dating or getting into a relationship… felt better knowing that maybe it’s okay to wait thank you sharing these points. I think they will also help anyone become a better human being :)
That comparison to a business really helped calm me down a bit. I am working on myself, so perhaps I need to work on my Marketing. I admit I haven't really have the courage to put myself out there. But I will try now. Thank you💕
man thanks for this. I knew I'm doing it right for holding off from having relationships cuz I really want self-improvement, while my friends would think I could get any women I'd meet. The person who knows you most is yourself ♥️
This is the best relationship advice I have ever heard. 🥰 Thank you! So fun to see you share a bit of yourself sometimes. I just discovered your channel, Im working on my physical health. This was a refreshing bonus 🥰 Im 43 years old, been married twice. Have a grown daughter. What I have learned... I rushed, I was afraid of being alone and it cost so much time, hurt, etc. Of course, I learned a lot too. Pretty much, what you just so eloquently said. 🥰❤
Hey, brother! I am from India and i am 18years old. Your videos 'coffee with Hampton' have really been alot helpful. Your videos always provide me peace and clarity. Thank you so much! I'm glad you exist :)
![Lethal Company Music Video 🎵 "Follow The Orders" [VERSION A]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QeooZB4Z7RA/mqdefault.jpg)
If you feel discouraged - remember that you came from a long, long line of people who successfully had kids.
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Hope you're all having a great day! I'm still setting it up - but I want to give more focus on podcast episodes like this and officially rebrand the podcast to be called Coffee With Hampton. The description should soon have Spotify and other podcast links!
I'll try to get some regular scheduling, different graphics, etc. I want to use the podcast to talk more about life and other topics outside of physical fitness.
Have a great weekend!
Loves this series so much! Keep it up!
Bruh I got rejected by a literal Helen of Troy. That's why I'm scared of ever asking out women lol.
Thanks man
Have a great day
@@jJLDY.0gskJtOHZcju_o8e3v Maybe that fear is something you could work on, confidence is something that most people find charming
@@PramkLuna I am confident, I have had to learn it. But it's just different. No matter how confident I am, my mind will always go back to the pretties girl ever existed.
"We can't romanticize about a relationship before we're ever in it"
so so so true
can you give the timestamp? i already watched it 2x but not found yet that quote
@@anggadi1564 around 3 min into the video
@@anggadi1564 2:56
@@Adrian-zu6tm thx
I didn't understand can someone explain the meaning?
Im nearly 60 and have been single for most of my life. Wish someone had given me your kind advice a few decades ago! Never too late to start trying a bit harder I suppose... You are a nice person for reaching out to people as you do. Thank you.
You might live as long as Betty White so never think you are too old for anything! 💜
I'm rooting for you 💜
@@goldenrain7421 Thank you as well!..
Hope everything works out Andrew. May we all reach our goals. May we all truely be happy
@@papalpatte Thank you for your good wishes. With a bit of coaching and encouragement from the likes of Hampton, maybe we all stand a chance!..
This is what the world needs more of, instead of pickup artists, guides on being an "alpha male" and other dumb and often harmful advice. Working on yourself, being calm, caring and compassionate gets you way further in life than anger and resentment, not only in relationship but also in terms of your own happiness.
True
I see these types all around me. All fake bravado emanating like pheromones to women who fawn over them. At the end of the day, these never last. The ones that truly lasts are the ones they can connect spiritually and emotionally.
And the things you're mentioning are generally manipulation.
❤❤❤
Your wife is a lucky woman. Such a mature loving caring young man. You are a great role model for other young men. Great video ❤️
And older men as well!
Nou nm
M
En inmenging nomin
Not only men
I craved a relationship for the longest time. To the point to where I did some pretty dumb stuff in order to compensate for the emptiness I felt. But now after being in my first genuine relationship for about 3 months I can firmly say that I could live without one. It's not that it's a bad relationship, quite the opposite it's been wonderful. But I always thought that being in a relationship would solve all my problems, and make me feel whole. It's only now after being in a loving relationship that I realize that I never needed one to become whole.
To anyone out there who feels lonely or sad because they don't have a partner, don't. I know it's easier said than done but you're only hurting yourself now instead of helping yourself in the future. My best wishes to all you out there ♥️
What a great comment. Thanks for sharing.
I reached a somewhat similar conclusion after my first, that I guess it'll work out either way. Mine ended a little over 7-8 months into it, but I'd like to think I came out a little more mature person.
Thank you
I keep hearing people saying that I shouldn't feel sad but fact is that I still feel sad. I mean if I could just decide to stop being sad then I would do that but that isn't really how it works. At least for me.
@@rinku3332 your beliefs/perceptions cause your emotions. It'd be a good practice to analyse the thoughts you have when you feel sad. How much of it is rooted in your sense of self? This is why working on yourself is the first step to being happy.
After an argument I usually think "what could I have said differently, in order to have won, or to have attacked them" I just realised after watching this video... What a shitty thing to do. I'd much rather spend my time thinking about why it got to me and what I could do better than to spend time thinking about what I could've done to hurt someone else. You're amazing. Thank you so much.
I used to/do think of myself as a good person, but my first reaction was to try and snap at you for being a jerk.
Looks like we both need to work on not being assholes 😅
You're a bad person and never realized it once I realized I was a bad person I started working on it and my life became much better.
Good luck on your journey
@@ared18t @AleKO thank you both so much. Gonna become an awesome person
Hey man, good luck with your journey, its a good thing that you know how to become a better person.
Its funny dude says he is not a dating expert, yet this is prob some of the best advice people could hear.
It's 2.15am here and I'll be damned if I don't listen to brother Hampton for another 30 mins
Got your back bro
Joining in from the 1:30 club 🤝🏻
amen to that
I'm from the 4:30 am division
4:15 division
For the longest time, I've had this mindset lurking in the back of my head, that I'm not a person that other people want to hang out with. I've taught myself that if by chance, I happen to socialize with anyone, it's a mere coincidence, and I'm at the bottom of the barrel. I just happened to be at a certain place at a certain time when other people were hanging out and just let me hang around. I just recently figured out that this is how I've lived my life, thinking that by default, I'm unlikeable, and if you let people choose between hanging out with me, or not hanging out with me, they will always choose the second option. Looking forward to work on that, cause that's really unfair to myself.
I've always had this thoughts. I changed school quite a few times, and always ended up being the outcast. Now I'm in college, and still experiencing the same even though I did take effort in trying to socialize, although it's does get awkward lol.
Wow... same. I grew up in environments that communicated to me (both directly and indirectly) that I was in fact just tolerated, and given the choice, literally anything else is more important to a person than me.
Over time, I learned Hampton's first point and I left those people who didn't want me. But boy has it been lonely. The people who don't want me are mostly gone now, but I haven't quite found the people who do.
This past year I've been working on being brave and putting myself out there. And i think it is working. I think what Hampton said is true - sometimes you're just not visible enough.
Hang in there. I know it can really suck sometimes but we can find genuine connections and love ❤️
Meh, you're probably just overthinking this.
I mean you could be a social black whole, which sucks the fun out of everything, but I doubt that, people like this are rare.
You'll be fine. I believe in you.
2:56 called me out 😭😭😭 I’m so guilty of romanticizing things before anything serious ever really happens :,) love this video, definitely working on some of the things mentioned in this one!
Is it because of boredom that you fantasize, or fear of boredom?
"There's coffee in the cup." hmm.... that sounds suspiciously like something someone that doesn't have coffee in their cup would say.
Hmm but it's also what someone with coffee in their cup would say.
@@HybridCalisthenics true, but that's also something someone without coffee in their cup would say... sounds like someone has a fear, or is insecure about being found out... wait a minute, I got it! You talk about having coffee in the cup as a distraction, the cup itself is CGI, I've uncovered your secret!
@@HybridCalisthenics "The Schrödinger's coffee"
😂 I was confused about why he said that. I never doubted him for a second and wondered if he drinks fake coffee or pretends to drink coffee or something.
Hey king, you're right. It's all about self-honesty and the willingness to connect in an honest way. As another 20 yr old waiting for good relationships, needing to work on my social reach, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Same here bro. Hope you'll find somebody one day and will find good people)
❤️❤️🤗
@@peacefulquasar Thank you, same to you!
Same her bro except I'm 18 and still waiting. I mean im that kind of person who have a crush on her for straight 5-6 yrs..i mean i dont want any short term relationship bc im sure i will love her long enough for me to break into pieces.
(Ignore the wrong grammar)*
You can't "wait." It is unfortunetly unlikely anyone will approach you. You have to search. I'm 23, been "waiting" since I was 17, still single. The main reason why is...because I am waiting for someone to see me! Truth is, people will not be observant unless you show them what to pay attention to because everyone has no spare attention. If this is something you want, you have to pursue it.
Best tips I've recieved is to make friends with the gender you are attracted to. Reason? Because they have friends, and so do theirs, and this social validation network means you are automatically positively recieved. This is much easier than any other method because you don't need to prove yourself before people give you a chance, which you have to do as a stranger. You also get friends, and practise so even if this does'nt work, you still gain a net positive.
Adding to the last point, I would also add that instead of stressing out about needing to find a partner by time point X, maybe reflect on whether that's actually your life model. Some people find their passion in another person, which is wonderful, but others find their passion in their work, in arts, in baking, in friends, and that's all equally wonderful. The life model of having a romantic partner and kids is one that works for many, but there are other models, too, and there's no one-fits-all.
I hear you on this one! I've been in a few relationships (I'm 60 now) and have always been happier NOT in one. I'm at that point where I'm thinking it's just not for me. I also say, "Never say never", however I have no desire to "look" and if it never happens again I'm good with that.
it is. next question
Throughout my school years almost all my friends would have a new girlfriend pretty much every week, but even as a young teenager that idea never sat well with me, which resulted in me being laughed at and being joked about a lot, and of course it made me feel bad about myself, but now that I'm older I'm quite glad I never did any of that, I've kind of accepted that the right girl will come into my life when everything is right, I'd rather work on myself and improve my life instead of feeling bad that I don't have anyone.
You will find your sweet heart when you least expect it
How’s it going?
Mostly a culture thing. From where I grew up, having a new girlfriend per week would be frowned upon. Not to mention the horrifyingly high increase in STDs and genital cancers after the launch of Tinder (I'm not making this up. There are data based evidence, but that's a whole other issue). They might as well be the butt of the joke, not you. Improving yourself and learning is how I found my soulmate. Physical attraction is short-lived, mental connection is forever.
i always thought it was weird wanting to kiss virtual strangers, more than one at a time 🤷♂️🤷♂️ who knows... hookup culture ~ ew
When you are rejected or dumped you have two options. Either be bitter or be better.
Lol in the end ur gonna die the best and most lonely human ever in todays dating world.
You look like 20 but have the wisdom of someone that is 60. thank you for doing such a tremendous job in helping people to get fit and love themselves. Mental health and good routines are so so so important
A week has passed since my gf of 4 years broke up with me. Just saw this video and made me realised that I really need to better myself. Thank you :')
I can relate and we have to be better
Instructions unclear. Took fitness rings on a date to work on myself. She was not impressed. 😄
Jokes aside, those are all good ideas well presented. You're helping a lot of people with more than fitness. Thank you.
Thanks for this comment, it made me laugh.
This means she's not the right one for you.
A true keeper would've brought their own fitness rings and worked out alongside you.
@@boneman-calciumenjoyer8290 Good point.
Was in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 5 1/2 years. He recently ended things with me a week or two ago. It has been extremely difficult as he was my entire world, my support system, and my best friend. Really trying to adapt to my new lifestyle of being by myself…..it’s been very hard.
How is it going now?
I hope it feels better now
How are you dealing with it now? Break ups can get nasty, but at the end of the day, you'll become a stronger, much wiser person from it.
Why did he break up?
You should not make a person become your entire world. What if he cheat or breakup with you? Think about that. Your life is more than having a person.
I dated 7-8 million people. The secret is be a leader of a small country and make it law that residents have to date you.
Authoritarian leadership? Yes. But it strikes result.
it is often difficult being lonely and broke, seeing everyone around having relationships and an all around good time while you are struggling financially and emotionally. this is incredibly motivating advice! thank you sincerely!
In a podcast someone said: spend time doing the things that interest you, that you are passionate about. And I agree so much. You'll be enjoying the activity and you'll meet people who can share that with you. It'll be easier to talk to them and get to know them that way. So I agree with your advice, I think this can lead to something and then another opportunity, meeting new people amd so on.
Question is… what KIND of coffee is in the cup 👀😆☕️
Black pour over coffee! No sweetener or cream.
@@HybridCalisthenics you like your coffee the same way my grandpa did. He would say that sweeteners and creamers ruin the coffee. But I'm a tea drinker so I can't confirm if he was right or not.
Im a caffeine addict i dont like my drink sweet
😂😂
@@Amanda247- ahhhh, a fellow tea drinker. I've found that not much people like drinking tea, especially in my age group (18). But I guess I'll be 50 eventually(hopefully)
Some people does not want to be around you was a eye opener! Most of my life I have put a lot of effort to make people like me. Now my focus is authencity and accepting being alone as a gift.
My advice is go out and see people build up your life get more mature and more experienced with people and then it's the perfect time to find a soul mate because there r tones of commitments based on teenage mistakes . So if u r a teenager do not worry and don't get sad at all because that might be for the better for the time
Where would you suggest to go to find and meet new friends . I enjoy going outside but I don’t actually really like my friends . It’s like a popular lonely situation where everyone knows me or are friendly with me and I used to have a few close friends but they aren’t exactly the “best” people I want to hang with
@@rc915 i get it there are many people like this I've been in this position one day .sometimes the type of society you in determine what or how many friends you have some societies are closed and more into work so sometimes u can't even have a chance to interact with others even when you are bumping into them all the time...but for me personally i almost had no close friends in high school i hang out with some but not really friends and then i went to college got some closer friends but not alot . And I've just finished college and had to find a temporary job so i got one even if i didn't like it and at this point i gave up the idea that i could find anyone might share the same thoughts and interests but for my surprise i found an incredible people just like my situation and interests some are artists like me and others are gamers and stuff so the point is you might find the right people in the unexpected places just keep the this fact in your head that there are amazing people who would happily be your friends but u gotta find them in someway and that's reasonable social interaction...
You gotta put some effort and start volunteering in homeless people help centers or go finding jobs if you don't already maybe joining classes in things you have interest in or joining gym or a nearby football team ...cuz there are hidden friends everywhere (plus some shitty people here and there) you'll always one some experience or people out of any social activity
Sorry for the long reply but i had to give my perspective
@@k.k8791 thanks man I really appreciate it and it’s nice hearing your never the only one even if you already knew . I already go gym but I’m rarely approached as it’s quite a small gym anyways . I’m quite introverted in the sense I usually don’t start the conversation (my social skills are fine tho) but I’m not like always at home and don’t hate going out . I’m not too bothered about my appearance but I do have quite bad black circles due to poor sleep routine . It feel like this era or generation you need to be over the top or almost not yourself just to a “good” person or liked . Idk but I guess only time will tell as to what’s to come
I am 47 and haven't even hugged a girl besides family members
@@rc915 no biggie .u still have a plenty of time to turn things around and life will throw chances every now and then make sure to take them. Sometimes u need to do the hard work and change your environment...and don't worry about the black circles they can be fixed with some sleep 😉
I've been reminding myself recently that it's hard to have friends if I don't put in the time to go to their parties or whatever. Getting over that initial burst of anxiety has been a huge stress reliever for me, actually, because it's always ended up being more fun than just staying home!
That sounds great! Thanks for sharing, I’m hoping to learn & practice this myself!!
How does one find people who invite them to things?
I wish you all the very best friend. Feel like we've known you for so long!!♥️
Thank you all for being here!
I am not sure if anyone ever gonna see read this, but yeah, being a teen and thinking that you can't find anyone in addition to realising how tricky definition of point of life is, is very hard. I am 16 and your videos have greatly impacted me and my way of living. Thanks once again!
Just saw your comment and I'm thinking of you now. I hope you're doing well. Have a great day 🤍
I can't express how much love and respect I have for Hampton, his approach to life, and his kindness in sharing it with all of us.
Hampton is a one stop shop for literally everything wholesome in this world. Props to the homie!
Been married for 20 years this month. Met somebody who took me at face value. I had problems I was going through at the time, and she helped me through it. We had a couple of miscommunications early on. Now we are doing very well together and have a very good marriage. When she and I got married, guys I used to work with at the time gave us six months, it's been a long six months. In short, relationships are about work. In hindsight, I see that those whom I used to have an interest in before I met my wife were not interested in the work necessary for a proper relationship.
Another thing that was a bit comforting to me considering I’ve never dated before is thinking to myself “if I were someone else would I want to date me?” And to be honest, no, I wouldn’t, I have low self esteem, I am really shy, anxious, depressed etc. I don’t look or dress amazing, and I’m not really special or anything, I know I’m not unlovable but I think it’s good to be self aware and put things into perspective. Not that you yourself are the problem necessarily, but sometimes it just helps me to realize that, and I don’t feel so frustrated by the fact that no one has liked me in that way.
Thanks man, good points, i sometimes stressing out over girls not liking me when the truth is I don't interact with them that much and i think low self-esteem plays a big part in it, especially when you putting yourself down and falling even deeper in your misery while there are plenty of people who will be comfortable with you. Expending your reach is truly an important thing. Hope everyone having a good week)
Here's a viewpoint that helped me: not everyone is for everyone. In fact, meeting someone you'll truly love is likely a 1/1,000,000 chance. It's perfectly okay if you are not someone's one in a million.
Understanding that, it's best to try and meet someone respectfully, and then to just play it slow before committing yourself, even if you really want a girlfriend.
P.S. I'm still single though, but going on either an outing or a date with a coworker soon (depending if we like eachother)
I came for copper and found gold. Hampton, you are a precious human being!
Thanks so much. Got married after 5 year No regrets. Moved to another country so I really liked what you said on point number two. I've noticed some drop off and why should I be around people that don't want to be around me or try to stay connected to those that don't want to stay connected. Not taking it personally but it did hurt initially and your video really helped.💜🙏👍
I really needed this advice. I know that I want to be in a relationship but right now the only reason I'm not in one is because I'm focusing on becoming a Nurse by passing the NCLEX. Right now I'm in a tough situation where I live with my toxic family again. I'm forced to confront my past traumas from them. Sadly, the only way to get out of this situation is to pass and get my career started so I can move out. It's been a long journey for me that's all I can say...
Dating with a toxic family will be the worst decision you'll ever make. They belittled my girlfriend and I was not strong enough and started to resent being in a relationship with her. Im just waiting to move out.
@@akhilpillay4262 Yeah that's another reason why I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Also, I promised myself when I get my nursing career in Nursing started that I would get a therapist after everything I've been through. Because I don't want my future girlfriend/wife to be my therapist if that makes sense.
Sounds like you'll make a fabulous nurse. If you haven't already scout youtube for "how to study" because there's some coaches out there with banger science and tips to be actually efficient and improve things like medical studies. I tripped into it through language learning and it's so cool to find gems like that! Also I'm rooting for you. ^^
@@AmbiCahira Thanks for the tip! I failed the nclex back in March due to both lack of time and well my family just giving me a hard time. I checked out 3 people in relation to prepping for the boards. It's been really hard since I returned from being abroad for six years.
The only thing I can control are my fitness (Thanks Campton), studying for the boards, and checking in my emotional & mental health.
Like I am confident that one day I'll have a love life again but... Not in these circumstances.
Sixteen minutes of my life I’ll never ever get back….
ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT.
Right? He’s a gem. 🎉
hampton i did it. you saved me from a very dark place and it has been 15 months now of me very inconsistently working out. there have been ups and downs and month long gaps in my workouts but i can proudly say it has helped. i still replay episodes of coffee with hampton and it helps. i worked on getting to know myself better and switched my focus. the one bit of advice i would give for relationships is to focus on being friends first. there will be rejection and friendzoning but being able to be friends with your partner is crucial and often overlooked. i am currently dating an amazing girl who understands me and i understand her. we have a good caring relationship and i couldn’t have done it without you. thank you brother.
cheers,
jasper
Thank you so much for this video. I’m going through somewhat of a mental journey right now where I’m just lost and trying to find myself amidst all of my pain from loneliness and just over all lack of friends. I’ve taken a lot of time to thinking on what’s going wrong and where can I improve. But this video has answered most of those questions and allowed me to find a better mindset for them. Thank you so much, have a beautiful rest of your day.
Hey so I just read your comment and I just wanted to say that I was also going through a rough mental journey sometime ago , just know that things will get better, hope and pray for a better future, stay strong king or queen ( not assuming ) and I hope you find all that you are looking for :)
Hey man, I was also in a mental rut not long ago. Consumed by my loneliness, I only had one person to truly talk to, and we don't talk any more. It's was like I was floating aimlessly and every interaction others had seemed to be in spite of my loneliness, questioning myself and why I couldn't be like that. But it gets better, and I'm better. Keep your head up. Keep smiling.
Same here, you'll be alright bro, we gonna make it)
I’ve been through a few of these and they absolutely suck, but keep your eye on the prize and never give up on what you are looking for!
Hey don't give up. I met my first group of friends by complete luck and coincidence. We aren't as close anymore and i mourn that but then I realized that it doesn't have to be like before and that we can be more active in that, don't just stand there and be passive and cry, you have more control than you realize. With s partner, is the same. You might grieve all the mistakes but you have learned now. Mys e the next experience is better, or worse, or just different bbuuuut you will be living and learning and that's better than being all closed up in your head. I thought I would die alone and now I talk to s lot of people, but u realize that some of my best moments ere Ina. S one on one meeting. Everyone's is different, you'll see what is best for yourself but first you gotta live, do your best, fuck it up multiple times until you find what works for you and then try to fuck up less to maintain what's important to you. Good luck
Solid advice.
Although, I'm unsure about the semantics of "Finding Love" and the "Right Person." I don't think love itself is found, I think it's made - created by two (or more; I'm not judging) people who like each other and care about each other. I also don't believe that there is any right or for that matter, wrong person - there's just people who get along better or not as well.
I've never found love, but I have love and I never found the right person, but I'm married... mostly happily. It's a work in progress... I believe everything in life is a work in progress. If we don't progress, we stagnate.
Cheers.
Honestly this is so insightful, I think I’m going to copy your idea that “love is made, not found”, it’s really true
@@KamisatoElias I know that this is a late response, but this really is so, so true.
Building a long term relationship based purely on the emotion of "love" is really hard. Emotions change. You won't feel intense love for a specific person 24/7 every time you're around them.
Instead, you actively create love between the two of you. You support them. You make them feel appreciated and heard.
They do the same in return.
You do your best to make each other happy, so that whenever you have time to sit down and chat, it's the highlight of your day. You make an effort to notice all of the things you appreciate about them. You point out those good qualities of theirs both to yourself and to them. They do the same in return.
When things start to stagnate, you start feeling less into each other, you do your best to communicate. To find out what's wrong, what's bothering you. You make an active choice to work things out and make things better for both of you.
Love is not found. Its not something that stays for years and makes you into someone you aren't. Love is made. You need to actively choose every day to cherish and be kind towards your chosen partner, to solve issues in a calm, productive and non-hurtful manner even when you're frustrated. Even when an argument starts and you don't actively feel all warm and fuzzy at the sight of them, you make a choice to be good, to not be cruel, to do your best to calm down and sort things out. If you do mess up, you own up to it and apologise. That's love. And of course, your partner needs to do the same.
If you meet someone and they are great at communicating, show an active interest when you share your emotions and perspectives... Respond to you, equally invested, explain their own side... Are willing to calmly analyse an argument after it happened, tell you what they're sorry for, what hurt them... If they listen when you tell them what hurt you... That's a really good candidate for a future partner. Someone who is open to discussion and searching for solutions together, so that when love as an emotion starts to fade, you can still figure things out
PS. Apologies for a wall of text, I hope it can provide some helpful insight for at least one person. Everything I said here is just an opinion of course, not the universal truth. Everyone will think differently regarding matters like this and sharing different experiences is a great thing. Also, I am not a native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there are some grammar errors or oddities!
Well, I married for love, whole package.
15 years later, after great joys and accomplishments, we are failing. It hurts on levels I can’t even describe.
I'm sorry that's happening, wish u the best in healing
If you still have fight in you to push through then learn something new together, or both pick up a hobby then share that hobby and teach eachother at home. Play games together like new boardgames, buy a cookbook with foods from a different part of the world and try new foods together to keep creating firsts. You can go to the gym together and cheer eachother on for being healthy together or take up photography trips with your phones as the cameras, or buy some crafting or assembling toys like a model ship or plane. Plant herbs to eat more fresh herbs. Rough patches can happen but finding ways to have fun together and create new memories and not just same old monotony can do wonders.
Any relationship over a decade shows you did a good job. Evolving alone much less with another person is a feat.
Failing in what?
@@njrom2975 in our marriage.
Heck yeah! I always recall what you said in the other video: _You can be the best strawberry ice-cream in the world, and some ppl will still prefer chocolate_
I've just watched a compilation of people reacting to toxic 'dating coaches' which was disgusting so now watching you is the best contrast ever
And there's even a real beverage in the cup!
What a cozy corner of the internet
Thank you very much for your work and time, it's very appreciated 💚🌱😊
Hey, I know this comment is a bout a year late and you might never see this, but…
But one professor I became friends with (didn’t have him, just befriended) got married for the first time a week before we met at the age of 66. Giddy as all can be and happy and said how all the waiting was worth his wife. His story has helped me be content with my singleness when I’m feeling down
I waited on someone for more or less a decade but it only took them 1 year of knowing the other person they fell in love with. I figured that waiting for that long isn't worth it and it's better to work on bettering yourself
It's strange, isn't it? That we see that waiting as a signifier of our character and that the other person will instinctively recognise it as our devotion and loyalty to them.
Afterwards we can see it didn't mean that much to them and it was clearly our actual *time* being drained away.
I hope you keep working on being the most evolved version of you, and that somebody sees your character without you having to prove your loyalty and devotion, and that you never are in doubt and waiting ever again. You deserve more, and better 🖤
Stop simping
I realized recently that to be in a relationship I would have to communicate with someone continuosly and talk about personal things with them. Uh. Unimaginable!
Anyway, I love your videos!
16:27 minutes completely focused since the start of video. No other thoughts. Well Done bro.
This was the best advice I have ever listened to. I hope I can implement this in my lifetime. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
4 long months since the last Coffee with Hampton. Life has grown cold. This must surely be the darkest timeline.
When you commit to each other early, but turn out not to be right for each other. Biggest love struggle of my life so far haha
@asd123 thanks. on rare days i break, but keeping up good habits and focusing on my health in general help for sure
Yeah, it's typical when you are young. It feels bad when you end it because insecurities and change of feelings and then you explode and then you realize you could have done it different, but it's better to not focus on fixing after MONTHS and months and trying t rebuildi yourself
You're litterally the kindest person I've seen on RUclips
Conveniently enough, I am watching this video 4 days after being told by a guy that I went on 3 dates that "we're not compatible." I wish I knew why and asked why, but he never got back to me. I'm 40 and have been single for since 2008. The dating scene has been very small to near non existent. I love the second point of this video in terms of working on myself. That is what I have been doing. Thank you Brother Hampton. BTW, I will be ordering resistance bands from you very soon.
As a marketing related (a copywriter), I would say the same - its about how you advertise and about the product but also... 1. reach a group that could be interested 2. show them why they're interested by discovering correct insights and proving that 3. timing 4. offer a great after-sales service. Everything, of course, also as a metaphor. It's nice a young person like you have so mature thoughts. Even in my age group, around 40, there are few people with such approach.
I so adore your candidness. Your what’s missing from today’s society.
All my homies love Hampton
Hampton loves all your homies.
A lot of this advice is appliable to all relationships in general, not just romantic ones and I love that
Your videos give me such a chill vibe that for a few moments I believe everything will be okay, and maybe it will. I recently went through a breakup about 3 months ago. I thought with time I would get used to it, but I still feel discouraged, we were 4 years together. Two weeks after the breakup she started dating my best friend (she was developing feelings for him a month prior, that's the reason we broke up) I think in theory I lost two people. Unfortunately I started smoking as an escape method.
I understand your pain, friend. But trust me, things will get better. Working out and improving yourself are good coping mechanisms. And don't lose hope - you will surely find someone who truly deserves you!
Make sure not to get reliant on things like smoking. I take this to such a level that I don’t even drink coffee, just because I dislike the idea that I would need a certain food or drink or thing to feel normal. Seriously, get someone to help you not smoke, it’s devastating for your life. I typically encourage people never to ever use Reddit but in this case, you might wanna check some subreddits about quitting smoking. Just make sure not to look at anything else… Reddit is a toxic place.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, it's hard enough to lose one person you care about let alone two and it's all the more reason why you should be more kind to yourself during this time, remember to take care of yourself physically first because it can be very easy to neglect during hard times, and confide in family and close friends that you trust if you need to talk to someone. Anyways have a good day or night my friend and it will be better one day, and if you continue to work on yourself as Hampton said, you will be at a better place.
A similar thing happened to me 4 years ago and even though it still hurts sometimes I have learned to love both others and myself again. You will too. Hang in there friend. I’m so sorry.
Choose someone who celebrates you, not tolerates you. I don’t have the time or energy to be fake and phony to impress someone. That’s for young folk. I’m glad I’m old enough and mature enough now to know it’s ok to be single. Don’t let anyone disrupt your peace and happiness …..It’s absolutely perfectly fine to be single. Especially in this day and time
Wonderful video! One point to add to the improving yourself section is it doesn’t always have to be a character trait. If you can picture the kind of relationship you want to have and what skills you would need for it you can build those skills now. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and homemaker, so that is why I learned to cook in high school. Now I get to make delicious meals for my husband and son every day.
Thank you for this video Hampton, my wife left me and I think we will get divorced. I can’t even think about meeting someone else. I’m 38 years old and I never learned how to be alone. I know it will be a struggle and not easy but I want to work on the most important relationship in my life - the relationship with myself.
Be strong Mr Simon, we are here with you
@@b_08_amitkumarsahu90 thank you ❤️
Working on yourself is easier when you are in a relationship imo. So it's a bit of a catch 22.
man this was so necessary for me now cuz i'm going through a rejection from a girl i had interest in...thank you brother 💕💪🏼
The only person we will be forever with is ourselves. The most important thing is to be happy with oneself. And that's an important key, because other people will only take you if you bring positive stuff into their lives. And by the same token, we should take in only those that contribute positively.
On the second point of working on yourself, if I'm talking to someone I've just met and I communicate something to them about their behaviour that doesn't feel good to me and they dismiss my thoughts, I immediately lose interest. It shows that the person isn't interested in being introspective and challenging how they view the world and life in general. Instead of waiting around waiting for them to get it later on, I'd rather leave before I get attached to the person and they become a stable part of my life and it becomes a source of major conflict because it most definitely will. So good point.
Needed to hear this, I've been in the "trying to convince them" stage with someone and its been stressing me out for months now. Now I can put that energy towards myself!
Thank you Hampton. I love the longer videos and would love a weekly podcast, too. I know time is rare, but selfishly I have to say I would even listen to a daily podcast. Much love and energy!
Big vote for this @Hampton!
Become someone you’d want to spend time with.
True, but despite that, if your a man, your gonna have to kiss ass if you wanna earn a woman's time to spend on getting to know you. I think if society didnt play by gender norms, men and woman would get along far better. Less insecurities for one
The feeling of emptiness and lack of fulfillment in life is really adding up
Hampton, I don’t think you will look at my comment. But believe me my friend, you really deserve the best. Watching your videos gives me the same serenity and clear of thought like Meditation 🧘♂️. Keep up the good work, and Goodluck with all your future plans. Much love - random person on the internet.
I can’t believe you are only 28 - you are SO wise beyond your years.
They say the "puppy love" stage lasts two years. Don't get struck by it! Love takes work. You have to work hard to make a relationship work. Great advice Hampton! Thanks!
Humans like you are my people. Authentic, honest, good-hearted - this gives me hope that there are great people out there
Thank you Hampton. I listened to your content nearly every single day for half a year now while riding my bike, or going for a run. It‘s such nice tune to chill out. You have a great voice, a charismatic appearence but most of all, you find the right words to describe a difficult topic. Especially with your older videos you helped me through some rough days, snd some dark thoughts. Don‘t get me wrong, I love your new videos too. ;)
You became such a role model for so many young men and women and I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do.
You are on point. My husband is a seller and everything you say makes since. I have been with my husband for 30 years and we always try to better each other. I am confident that we will be together forever. We don't always agree but we always try to put the other first and see their perspective.
This is one of the most wholesome videos ever.
I recently found your content, in my path to fitness and self-improvement in general, and I am so happy I did.
I recently broke up with my gf and soon after I relocated to Berlin, Germany, all by myself. It's a struggle sometimes..
It's good to be reminded of what I need to focus on and not be too hard on myself, while I still keep putting myself out there!
I'm sure I will find like-minded people at some point, even friends and/or love!
You're a gem, wish you all the best!
I’m born and raised in Berlin. Let me know if you want to connect. Cheers from Köpenick
@@mrgripcut sure! Hit me up anytime
@@darklordmelkor how? 😂
@@mrgripcut let's try hybrid calisthenics discord channel?
Being kind to others is so underrated. It helps uplift your own life as well as others.
You share your thoughts in an open-minded and inclusive manner. This is why your message could spread to anyone. The spiritual mindset you possess does reflect on how kind your soul really seem to be. Wish you good days ahead Hampton. God bless your soul.
Man this dude is honestly one of my favourite people on the internet
I"m new to this channel, and I can't believe the best advice for life comes from some guy who do calisthenics. Thank you
That's awesome advice. Bonus is that when you're working on yourself, you tend to like yourself more and gain confidence. And man, confidence is attractive.
Hampton, I don't always watch your videos, but I do do always find something I can agree with or like about what you have to say. I'd like to say that I appreciate your thoroughness and clarity. I especially think that people need to know that it's good to be with someone and stay with them if you love each other. People need people.
Proximity plays a big role in opportunities to find healthy connections. In theory is there enough people on the planet for everyone to connect romantically with someone in a deep meaningful fashion, but how everyone finds one another, in a practical, reliable fashion, is the consistent difficulty.
This video has me feeling strong man. 😭 I’d like to say I’m actively on the same page with what was said. I’m working on myself, I’m making new friends, and I’m actively working on opportunities to spend time with people. I just don’t have a girlfriend. Maybe it’s matter of waiting for the right time, but I’ll admit it’s easy to feel discouraged. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never meet someone that will love me.
Love yourself and you will have a high value in the dating market place. Self esteem is better than riches.
Going through a rough patch right now, thank you for this video, feels like a relief. Really eye opening, keep up the good content, I aspire to be kind and mature like you some day! Have an amazing day:)
Stopped at 0:16 to get coffee and finally sit down and have a chill time
Hampton feels like the big brother I never had. You're a literal font of deep wisdom man.
Same here.
Your vibe is incredible!! You give me the feeling of a big brother that I don't have❤
I actually came across your channel because I wanted to be healthier, I am pretty introverted but I'm going on a date this weekend for the first time in 4 years at 20 years old and I'm hoping this helps
Very wise words from a young man! good to see there are still some men out there with there head screwed on the right way!!!
Im quite a fit person, I work out, train kung fu, practice guitar, and Im also generally a really chill person
So I guess you're right, I just haven't met the one just yet.
Just wanted to share my thoughts here, thank you! 💖 :)
some people get completely insulted if you tell them we need to work on ourselves. assuming we are perfect and the world needs to bend to our will/personality is extremely unattractive and narcissistic. thanks for the vid!
Hampton, thank you for the excellent information you put out into the world! I started the Hybrid Routine 2.0 a few weeks back and it's been helping tremendously. I had severe injuries in 2017 (spinal, hip, & pelvis fractures) and never got my strength back up to what it was before. BUT - with all of your beginner/starter variations, I'm gradually building it back up =) I really appreciate your chill energy too, very wholesome content creator. Thank you Hampton!!!!!
I liked how you used examples from a totally different field to illustrate your points. It seems a bit weird to compare romance/love and business, but I think in these instances it worked.
appreciated about “time and patience”
was feeling really anxious after someone close critiqued me for not already have started dating or getting into a relationship…
felt better knowing that maybe it’s okay to wait
thank you sharing these points. I think they will also help anyone become a better human being :)
That comparison to a business really helped calm me down a bit. I am working on myself, so perhaps I need to work on my Marketing. I admit I haven't really have the courage to put myself out there. But I will try now. Thank you💕
Great advice! It seems geared toward younger people, but I know a lot of middles aged people that need this advice.
man thanks for this. I knew I'm doing it right for holding off from having relationships cuz I really want self-improvement, while my friends would think I could get any women I'd meet. The person who knows you most is yourself ♥️
This is the best relationship advice I have ever heard. 🥰 Thank you! So fun to see you share a bit of yourself sometimes.
I just discovered your channel, Im working on my physical health. This was a refreshing bonus 🥰
Im 43 years old, been married twice. Have a grown daughter. What I have learned... I rushed, I was afraid of being alone and it cost so much time, hurt, etc. Of course, I learned a lot too.
Pretty much, what you just so eloquently said. 🥰❤
Hey, brother! I am from India and i am 18years old. Your videos 'coffee with Hampton' have really been alot helpful. Your videos always provide me peace and clarity. Thank you so much! I'm glad you exist :)