S1: Victim blaming, much? And if the boy’s actions escalated to worse bullying or harassment you know you wouldn’t be able to trust the school to have your child’s back. The principal was in the email chain the whole time, so I don’t think they should be able to throw the counsellor entirely under the bus.
I will never understand the mindset of anyone to tell kids if someone does something mean or bad to you "they might have crush on you!" That is both rarely true and even when it is that should mean the teacher or parent needs to tell them how to express themselves in a way that's healthy. That is not a way that should be accepted as normal or good to treat someone you like or be treated in turn.
The Consellor is probably thinking of the Tsundre behaviour stereotype but I wouldn't expect that of a pre-teen; even if it's just "I just want you to notice me" move.
Story 1 - "Boys will be boys" and "he's doing it because he likes you" is such a toxic mindset that unfortunately still persists with adults. I recently had a guy at a work function keep trying to verbally badger me and harrass me even when i tried to walk away to another part of the room. When I talked with someone about it afterward they said "Maybe he likes you." and i shut that shit down fast. Sorry but that's no excuse to be disrespectful or make someone else feel unsafe. That Counsellor should be fired for not doing their duty in protecting OP's kid or holding those disgusting boys accountable for their actions. What if they get older and they slip something nastier into another girl's drink and do something unspeakable to her? what will you say then?
1st story: While tampering with someone else's food or drinks is bad - and illegal - enough, having some shrimp brained pseudo-feminist claim that it's the girl's responsibility to make sure no-one puts anything in her drink is incomprehensibly messed up; just fast forward this same scenario some 5-10 years and see how well that fits the narrative.
S1: that behavior definitely needed to be corrected, we all know the stories about dudes dropping things in girls drinks at the bar… could have been him in 20 years if they had swept it under the rug 😢
1st Story: The only reason you would pour pencil lead inside of someone's drink is if you are trying to hurt them. That is as deliberate as it gets and there is no excuse for it. It's clear the counselor just didn't want to do her damn job. Cases like this are why you have to take control of the narrative and escalate the situation to someone higher up if you want something done.
Story 1: School Counselor is a massive POS for blaming daughter for getting sick when the boys poisoned her water! I feel bad for daughter getting bullied; she does not deserve that! Anyone with the victim blaming mindset needs to be fired ASAP!
S2- i was all for the boyfriend being all spontaneous and cute with the surprise trip and then she hit me with the update and now I'm flabbergasted smh
For story 2: I have many Christian friends from Middle East and Eastern Europe. Arab Christians mostly stay outside Middle East as they have many issues at that region, you know what I mean. I have an Arab Christian, he was a priest from Jerusalem and served under Greek church, as a friend. I also have Armenian Christians, Serbians, Russians and Greeks as friends. I treat them all like my own family. I myself an Orthodox Christian and Southeast Asian.
S2: NTA - It’s an awkward position for the OP I think. On the one hand, she should’ve been more open about things at some point, but I also believe the boyfriend is being a little pushy. ETA… His ground rules are controlling. Were she to relocate to the UK permanently and marry him, there would be the risk of becoming isolated.
Yeah but a relationship that is less than a year old is a little early to spill the families dirty laundry. At that point he may just dump her and spread rumors about her. Especially with how controlling he is. Literally won't even let her make her own decisions he would definitely be the kind of man to lie about her if she doesn't obey
S2: ooof. I was like NA or EA in the first part. She should have told him the whole truth from the start and he shouldn’t of book a non-refundable ticket. After update sweet lordie. That guy went from a well meaning boy to a controlling man real quick. And honestly he should have respected the fact that she wasn’t ready to introduce him to her family in the first place but here we are I guess
For the racist family story, whoever told her that "he sounds controlling" and "you've only been dating for 10 months" is an absolute moron that has never been in a serious relationship, hopefully no one takes advice from that person
Sadly the update ain’t better. Turns out the boyfriend is just as awful and laid out a bunch of rules that were very controlling when op revealed the truth. Op is moving back to the states I think
S2: tbh i feel like the only one who thinks the rules weren't controlling at all. Asking her to cut off her racist family isn't a huge demand and idk how it even came off as controlling to everyone, asking for low contact with male friends makes a lot of sense since they could very well be close to OP's racist family and not wanting them around is something anyone would want so I really don't get how he was being Controlling by setting up basic rules like don't be with the people who literally hate me for no reason.
@@lolarichter9415 Wtf ofcourse major decisions have to be made as a couple, it's a bit hypocritcal but She definitely needs to discuss decisions Especially relating to her racist family with him.
@@lolarichter9415 "Hey can you cut off your family that's literally racist towards me" OMG HE IS Asking her to obey him. What a shocker!!!!!!!!!!!! A normal boyfriend would totally want his gf to talk to people who literally hate him, oh He is so controlling.
15:10 ah... even as a Christian, he has that middle eastern mindset of him being in control. Or if that a religious mindset? And only 10 months into the relationship.
@randdldar2580 yes. Middle Eastern culture basically puts women under men in most things outside of the house (and many things inside the house). Women are not equal to men in middle eastern cultures. I think it is because Islam is a ruling religion in the region but I don't know for certain of course. I agree that this view point also exists in the west too but not nearly as extreme as forcing women to cover their bodies completely while out in public so men arent sexually tempted. It pretty much says men are incapable of controlling sexual urges so it's a woman's responsibilty not to provoke them. Yet the women are still being raped in those regions.
@@randdldar2580I think he’s trying to refer to the fact that middle eastern countries are fairly patriarchal when it comes to relationships. Where the father/spouse has near absolute control. Depending on the country.
@@randdldar2580I’m Asian and a cousin is married to a Jordanian man, he is very handsome and fit, he went up and beyond to impress her, but once married they moved from Australia to there and she has being having kids after kids and looked quite frail than before and is very timid now, she listens to everything he says, her parents were hoping she would stay in Australia but she swapped one hardship for another
S1: Victim blaming, much? And if the boy’s actions escalated to worse bullying or harassment you know you wouldn’t be able to trust the school to have your child’s back.
The principal was in the email chain the whole time, so I don’t think they should be able to throw the counsellor entirely under the bus.
Yep. My little cousin just got victim blamed at his school.
I think this is a lawyers dream case.
the parallels between this and date r*pe is so concerning im glad op is nipping this train of thought in the bud
I will never understand the mindset of anyone to tell kids if someone does something mean or bad to you "they might have crush on you!" That is both rarely true and even when it is that should mean the teacher or parent needs to tell them how to express themselves in a way that's healthy. That is not a way that should be accepted as normal or good to treat someone you like or be treated in turn.
What kind of logic is that!? No reasonable child will attempt to poison their crush.
The Consellor is probably thinking of the Tsundre behaviour stereotype but I wouldn't expect that of a pre-teen; even if it's just "I just want you to notice me" move.
Makes you wonder about her own upbringing if this is her attitude.
Story 1 - "Boys will be boys" and "he's doing it because he likes you" is such a toxic mindset that unfortunately still persists with adults. I recently had a guy at a work function keep trying to verbally badger me and harrass me even when i tried to walk away to another part of the room. When I talked with someone about it afterward they said "Maybe he likes you." and i shut that shit down fast. Sorry but that's no excuse to be disrespectful or make someone else feel unsafe. That Counsellor should be fired for not doing their duty in protecting OP's kid or holding those disgusting boys accountable for their actions. What if they get older and they slip something nastier into another girl's drink and do something unspeakable to her? what will you say then?
S2: nope. Red flags with the rules. The nice version of him was a set up.
1st story: While tampering with someone else's food or drinks is bad - and illegal - enough, having some shrimp brained pseudo-feminist claim that it's the girl's responsibility to make sure no-one puts anything in her drink is incomprehensibly messed up; just fast forward this same scenario some 5-10 years and see how well that fits the narrative.
S1: that behavior definitely needed to be corrected, we all know the stories about dudes dropping things in girls drinks at the bar… could have been him in 20 years if they had swept it under the rug 😢
Well then hope that counselor enjoys a lawsuit
School is terrible with dealing with those bullies they need to get sued these boys are pathetic bullying someone weaker than themselves
1st Story: The only reason you would pour pencil lead inside of someone's drink is if you are trying to hurt them. That is as deliberate as it gets and there is no excuse for it. It's clear the counselor just didn't want to do her damn job. Cases like this are why you have to take control of the narrative and escalate the situation to someone higher up if you want something done.
Story 1: School Counselor is a massive POS for blaming daughter for getting sick when the boys poisoned her water! I feel bad for daughter getting bullied; she does not deserve that! Anyone with the victim blaming mindset needs to be fired ASAP!
>concerned about family acting like conservative southern stereotypes
>bf suddenly starts acting like conservative arab stereotype
heh
Story 2: You need to go no contact with your parents!
S2- i was all for the boyfriend being all spontaneous and cute with the surprise trip and then she hit me with the update and now I'm flabbergasted smh
That wouman needs to lose her job and the scholl needs to be investigated.
Story 2: Break up with your boyfriend now!
For story 2: I have many Christian friends from Middle East and Eastern Europe. Arab Christians mostly stay outside Middle East as they have many issues at that region, you know what I mean. I have an Arab Christian, he was a priest from Jerusalem and served under Greek church, as a friend. I also have Armenian Christians, Serbians, Russians and Greeks as friends. I treat them all like my own family.
I myself an Orthodox Christian and Southeast Asian.
S2: NTA - It’s an awkward position for the OP I think. On the one hand, she should’ve been more open about things at some point, but I also believe the boyfriend is being a little pushy.
ETA… His ground rules are controlling. Were she to relocate to the UK permanently and marry him, there would be the risk of becoming isolated.
Yeah but a relationship that is less than a year old is a little early to spill the families dirty laundry. At that point he may just dump her and spread rumors about her. Especially with how controlling he is. Literally won't even let her make her own decisions he would definitely be the kind of man to lie about her if she doesn't obey
Called her police
I wonder if the councilor is friends with the family of the kid. Sure does sound like it.
When i become a uncle and i know i will if this happens even the fox would seen merciful compared to me
The difference in a bit of lead vs a whole stick of it makes a big difference to story 1
I remember teachers like this.
Just off the thumbnail, that story will be wild.
In S2, OP is NTA, but she's a terrible communicator. OP should have said that she doesn't trust her extended family to behave properly around him.
S2: ooof. I was like NA or EA in the first part. She should have told him the whole truth from the start and he shouldn’t of book a non-refundable ticket. After update sweet lordie. That guy went from a well meaning boy to a controlling man real quick.
And honestly he should have respected the fact that she wasn’t ready to introduce him to her family in the first place but here we are I guess
For the racist family story, whoever told her that "he sounds controlling" and "you've only been dating for 10 months" is an absolute moron that has never been in a serious relationship, hopefully no one takes advice from that person
Why is it always WOMEN that say this shit of “he probably has a crush on you.” Ugh
S2: young love... i hope they grow. Sad op is ok with a racist family.
Sadly the update ain’t better. Turns out the boyfriend is just as awful and laid out a bunch of rules that were very controlling when op revealed the truth. Op is moving back to the states I think
S2: hiw much to bet that he will ask OP to convert soon?
S2: tbh i feel like the only one who thinks the rules weren't controlling at all. Asking her to cut off her racist family isn't a huge demand and idk how it even came off as controlling to everyone, asking for low contact with male friends makes a lot of sense since they could very well be close to OP's racist family and not wanting them around is something anyone would want so I really don't get how he was being Controlling by setting up basic rules like don't be with the people who literally hate me for no reason.
10 months and telling her to obey him is literally abusive. He's literally trying to isolate her
Did you miss hwere he literally told her she can't make ANY decisions without his permission??? That's ABUSIVE
Did you miss hwere he literally told her she can't make ANY decisions without his permission??? That's ABUSIVE
@@lolarichter9415 Wtf ofcourse major decisions have to be made as a couple, it's a bit hypocritcal but She definitely needs to discuss decisions Especially relating to her racist family with him.
@@lolarichter9415 "Hey can you cut off your family that's literally racist towards me" OMG HE IS Asking her to obey him. What a shocker!!!!!!!!!!!! A normal boyfriend would totally want his gf to talk to people who literally hate him, oh He is so controlling.
Sue
15:10 ah... even as a Christian, he has that middle eastern mindset of him being in control. Or if that a religious mindset? And only 10 months into the relationship.
I’m curious as to why it would be a “Middle Eastern” mindset. Are you insinuating something?
@randdldar2580 yes. Middle Eastern culture basically puts women under men in most things outside of the house (and many things inside the house). Women are not equal to men in middle eastern cultures. I think it is because Islam is a ruling religion in the region but I don't know for certain of course. I agree that this view point also exists in the west too but not nearly as extreme as forcing women to cover their bodies completely while out in public so men arent sexually tempted. It pretty much says men are incapable of controlling sexual urges so it's a woman's responsibilty not to provoke them. Yet the women are still being raped in those regions.
@@randdldar2580I think he’s trying to refer to the fact that middle eastern countries are fairly patriarchal when it comes to relationships. Where the father/spouse has near absolute control. Depending on the country.
@@randdldar2580I’m Asian and a cousin is married to a Jordanian man, he is very handsome and fit, he went up and beyond to impress her, but once married they moved from Australia to there and she has being having kids after kids and looked quite frail than before and is very timid now, she listens to everything he says, her parents were hoping she would stay in Australia but she swapped one hardship for another
story 2: she’s got a decent head on her shoulders i think