@@lindah3803 she's a psycho what family member would want to keep her. They cant leave her in the street And it's not as if at risk youth school are cheap
@@dumbidea1007, they didn’t do enough when Lisa was a child to address her mental health issues and to protect OP, particularly if they were mainly relying on the school for help. The onus was on them to ensure Lisa was evaluated by a full mental health assessment team as soon as she started exhibiting symptoms of a personality disorder when she was a child. Instead, the parents gave up at the first hurdle and ended up normalizing Lisa’s behavior. They basically enabled the abuse when they allowed it to continue for so long. The parents failed OP and their entire family.
I find it to be interesting how the other sisters only saw Lisa for what she was when their husbands and children ended up on the receiving end of violence and lies.
I absolutely hated this story! NOBODY, including OPs wife, gives a chit about OP! They just all want to pat themselves on the back for getting to play Happy Family. Who cares that it's at OPs expense!! Horrendous ending!!
S1: Your wife is wrong. If she tries this crap again, I would divorce her. The relationship between the siblings will take a lot of work. S2: keep son disinherited. He doesn't deserve anything. His sister needs peace and he caused enough disruption in your lives.
S1: I hope OP made it clear to his family, and especially his wife that if they ever do anything deceitful again, anything that breaks his trust, they’re all gone - family cut off, wife divorced. And obviously, even suggesting meeting with Lisa is immediate NC/divorce, no second chances, no explanations, just scorched earth, and going for full custody in both cases, because he can’t trust his daughter to be safe. If it were me, they’d all be in very thin ice, and any comments about letting anything go, on any topic from them, is a dealbreaker. What a bunch of AHs in his family. They believed Lisa because she was a good liar? And everything was always his fault? He was never believed?
Now they're manipulating him to "get back together". Even his Mom is working him. Just wait. 5/10 yrs down the line after Lisa gets all of her therapy and crap, she'll be "cured". OP will walk in his door to find Lisa and his wife sitting at the kitchen table. They All will be telling OP that she has been cured. She's good now. She's your sister, you have to forgive her. We've been seeing her for over 6 months. Trust us.
@@ShursGardenno, that’s what saying the family was clueless and had a favorite means. It’s basically never always one person’s fault, and they apparently never even considered that OP monthly be telling the truth. No one in OP’s family, including his wife, are trustworthy.
Lisa was never abused. Lisa just figured this lie was the only way to get access to destroy you and your baby. Audrey is too gullible, or too stupid to protect her own kid from a violent psychopath. She actually conspired with your abuser to help her worm her way back into your life. Divorce her. Agreeing to meet your harpie sisters in a BAR, with ALCOHOL, was a transcendantly stupid idea. Wise up. None of these people care about you, or they would have helped you, instead of your abuser.
Honestly, that's exactly how it looks from my POV as well. The sisters didn't care and claim that they just didn't notice how bad Lisa was, but as soon as Lisa is telling lies about their husbands or abusing their children, all of a sudden they have the energy to pay attention.
Story 1: not saying anyone deserves to be abused in any way but “it’s no fun when the rabbit got the gun” huh? The sister tormented op only for karma to hit her back for him and the wife is a terrible person for knowing what the sister did and planning to force op into reconciling she’s just as sick as the sister is I feel bad for you and your child to have a wife/mother like that. I personally wouldn’t forgive the sisters for knowing what was going on and not stepping up to help me I can’t forgive that betrayal of sibling hood.
I have severe doubts about the validity of the abuse that Lisa was supposedly the recipient of. Seems like a pretty convenient excuse to claim she was mistreated by somebody all these years ago and nothing can actually be done about it other than make herself look like a victim.
So basically his wife won by manipulating the situation and now she thinks she was right all along to force her traumatized husband back into a family relationship that deeply hurt him. She was a terrible wife for this, quite frankly, but because he loves her he’s giving her a pass because it’s easier to please her than fight with her. This won’t end well if he doesn’t get a handle of this crap she’s pulling. It won’t end here. She stomps perfectly reasonable boundaries and forces relationships. That’s not good in the long run and all of this could have ended very badly for her husband and child. She thinks she knows better than the person who grew up in the abuse. She pushed him and hurt him with it. She caused stress and unhappiness. That in itself is abusive.
Story 1: you owe your family NOTHING. They allowed Lisa to abuse you and ignored it and allowed it to continue. Yes your parents did intervene but it was the bare minimum they could do. NC to the lot of them. Also, wife would be on very very thin ice.
S1: NTA. OP needs to divorce his wife. How dare she go to the woman who abused OP for many years and bring that woman back into his life after he finally got her out?! Forcing reconciliation is only ever good for the abuser, not for the abuse victim.
Kid made choices. Kid chose to stay with his hateful mother. Kid chose to defame Op with lies. Kid chose to physically, verbally, & emotionally abuse his sister. Kid can fck all the way off & think about all his choices.
Yea I don’t agree with those commenters if ima be honest too he made his decision so now there are conditions to me letting you back in if that is an option. but then I think about it it’s Reddit they excel in victim blaming like 80% of the time
OP allowed his son (and daughter) to live in an abusive household for majority of their lives and wonders why the son was just mirroring his environment
@@Vipershadow1in this situation the so can be seen as a victim in some ways, kids aren’t born good or bad (im talking about neurotypical kids). They mirror and learn actions from their parents and what their home life is like. Why are you surprised the son is echoing what his mom is saying when he’s been taught his WHOLE LIFE it’s okay to act that way.
My problem with this mindset is that theres no growth. No chance to repent. Now im not saying OP just take the son in. Even OP knows this. Hes giving the daughter control, and doing the right thing by asking her feelings on the matter. Now if the son had no remorse for it, then we wouldnt be talking about this. Everyone deserves a second chance if they are willing to accept and do better.
Story 3: I feel like OP is cutting out parts of the story just to have people support her and agree with her. And the fact that they brush off the dad cheating is horrible and also she basically ignores or doesn't explain how betrayed the mother felt. There so much to this story that OP doesn't want the viewers to know
What I may be true after looking at other posts where a dad who got cheated on use that to keep his kids away from his ex-wife. I kind of understand where the op is coming from. And that story The Father basically kept using his depression to keep the kids from ever inviting their mother to anything. Well I understood events that the father was going to what's something they agreed not to invite their mother to. But at some point the father started convincing them not to invite her to things even if he wasn't coming. My point is at a certain point grief turns into emotional manipulation. You cannot want to be in the same room as them but to prevent your kids from ever having a relationship with a parent outside of you. Specifically with the only reason being he cheated on me. Is manipulative and low-key abusive.
Story 1: Forcing, manipulating, and otherwise entertaining the notion of “Reconciliation” for a victim and their abuser is despicable. It is up to OP to want this, and no one else. However, If it was me in that situation, I would never forgive the abuser, even if said abuser saved my life. Those who stood by and let it happen also deserve no forgiveness, and that wife is a traitor. That is worthy of divorce. The sister’s “excuse” is bs. The therapists are awful, should be reported to the APA. The fact the therapist caved like the Buffalo Bills in the [‘90s] Super Bowl is appalling.
Story #1: First thing's first. OP does not "owe" anything to anybody. Lisa made his entire childhood miserable with her violence and lies that ruined his social life. And the other sisters deliberately chose to turn their heads away. And as far as the wife goes? She 100% needs to be on probation, because this is a massive loss of trust.
The therapist should have said that the forgiveness isn’t for the sister but for him so he doesn’t hold onto the anger and keep resentment. Not for the sister’s sake but so he downs that a massive weight on him. But I fully understand why he doesn’t wanna forgive and he has every right to not reconcile. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation and it doesn’t have to be 8:06 yea uh….lets just say that he doesn’t have to forgive her and for his sake I hope he leaves his wife for even thinking that having that sick, psychotic person around her kid
People on the internet are way too forgiving with teens. And here they like to gloss over the fact, that OP 2 got abused by his wife. How should he have raised him better when OP get abused and his abuser got her claws in that teens mind. And i don't trust that son. He is probably now just sob because he got what he dished out as well. People on reddit clearly don't care for OP and his daughter. Classic reddit.
I’m a be honest what is bro building in the background I am so confused and perplexed. Some of the stuff looks like you’re not even playing Minecraft. She’s playing the building aspect. I remember in one episode where he was making a bee farm
Story 1: OP should not have been forced into a situation like that against his will, that should have been done on his own time instead of being shoved into it. that's how bonds are broken in the first place by pure pressure and then they start asking why he doesn't want to talk to them. Story 2: Redditors on there need to take a chill pill for a second and re-read the story. The son CHOSE to side with the mother and spread those lies, HE CHOSE to believe the bullshit that his mother was feeding him. He is 19, sure OP could help but that's ONLY if he's willing too and he gets permission from his daughter. Just because he needs to ask his daughter WHO INFACT WAS YELLED AT AND SLAPPED by her own brother has the right to be asked if she wants her brother around again because you never know what could even happen to her if he listened to his "mother" again.
Story 2: people are real quick to forget that the daughter exists and was abused too after she came out. She has every right to have a say on whether or not an abuser gets to have contact with her.
In story two it is insane that anyone would blame OP, brother SLAPPED sister for having a girlfriend! She needs to feel safe. He already got physical with her. Not to mention the betrayal.
You sit down with your spouse and ask if the marriage is worth her pushing this issue. If she says yes and pushes for something you are against and won't take your side, then it's divorce.
Story 1: I can understand the wife wanting him to forgive his other sisters, although that will take time to rebuild the trust that was lost due to his abusive sibling's lies. However, his wife needs to work with him and not harass or try to browbeat him into doing things according to HER schedule, instead of respecting him and giving him the space to do things on his terms and at his pace! As for the abusive sister.....she can piss right the Hell off and if his wife has a problem with that then she can piss off too!
The term "hurt people hurt people" is very true and very valid but that doesn't automatically erase all the hurt and pain. It's up the the abused whether they want to forgive or forget
Yeah I'm not even finishing listening to the third story. Even if there's more to the story, I just can't see any way the OP comes out looking like an okay person tbh. It straight up just sounds like they didn't even remotely care that their dad cheated on their mom and expected everything to stay normal in the aftermath of the divorce. Like, at every turn it just seems like OP chose their cheating dad over their hurting mom... and like, for sure their mom shouldn't be demanding for her daughter to not allow the baby's grandfather to EVER see the baby(if that's what's happening) but I also get not wanting to have to share time that she had already set aside ahead of time to spend with her kids.
See the problem is she wasn't just demanding that she was demanding that they don't ever see their father again. It was even put in there that when they were helping a sibling move they also spent a little time with their father do they hadn't seen in 2 years. The mother went on a trip to avoid them because they spent time with their father. And only apologized and promise not to react like that again. I get what you're trying to say but one parent is trying to specifically trying to isolate their kids from their father even when they're grown. The other just wants to spend a little time with their kids that's it. While he was f***** up for cheating it's pretty easy to lean towards the one who isn't stressing you out for even conversing with the other parent. And the point that was made that the mom uses money to manipulate. Even if we don't want to include the plane ticket as the first example. The fact that their sister had money thrown at them from the grandparents to not invite the father to the wedding. Should be a major red flag as to what the mother tries to do to her adult children. All this person can do is just try to navigate it without stepping on any toes. It's not their fight they had already had time to move on from what happened. There are plenty of posts with people have a messed up parent but still love their parents and want them in their life. And some of those posts the parents did stuff far worse than just cheat. Why is this so different question mark it's not like they're inviting the mom and the father to the same events
Story 2 I don’t understand why men sit in abusive relationships with women literally she is weaker than you first time she swings grab that arm and leave her
Deadass what's been pulling me out of the story with the mc building in the background second, op said youngest of 4 sisters but wife got pregnant and Lisa spread a rumour about op being gay. I'm so lost
#1: OP, _do not_ sacrifice your happiness and peace of mind to these people who went behind your back and lied to you. Your wife has proven she cannot be trusted. And when you finally talked to each other, she revealed she was hiding more. So, what else is she hiding from you? Leave her. If your parents try anything, cut them off. They're just trying to guilt you and the things that have happened to you and your siblings are the results of their own parenting. Whatever guilt they feel, they deserve it. And by the way, you can forgive people without having to talk to him. It's called MOVING ON. And that doesn't need to include the people who wronged you. #2 My mom was abusive. And still is, while trying to be an innocent hero whenever drama comes up. And while my dad was nicer than her, he would always take her side or be a bystander to anything my mother did. Being complacent in abuse is just as bad as being the abuser. That being said, your son made his choices, but I respect that you're trying to help him. Regardless if your daughter is comfortable with him staying with you and her or not, it's nice that you're at least helping him, but be cautious. Help him, but remain cordial and nothing more, at least for the time being. #3 Yes, cheating is bad. OP's mom is clearly hurt and traumatized, but the pity party is over, lady! Kids are grown and having kids of their own but OP's mom is still acting like a child. Good on OP for cutting her off. There's being a victim and there's being an a$$hole. Quick Note: I have seen Lucky Past's comment on the video and they have a good point regarding Story #3. Basically they said that it felt like OP was leaving stuff out about their dad and how deep the betrayal really was. But you have to admit, going off the handle and doing spiteful shit because OP just wanted to spend two or something hours out of a one week vacation with Dad is just petty.
3rd OP is definitely leaving shit out though like you said. And let's put it this way: The parents avoid each other every other event of the year. Birthdays, Christmas, etc are split so you never have both parents there. This is clearly her birthday week and her daughter is flying in for the baby but also the birthday, so why on Earth would the dad fly in? It sounds like he's stirring shit up just as much, but the mom is the only one getting in trouble for it. Like he doesn't even love there, he's going out of his way to fly in to see the baby, and he's doing it on purpose on the week her birthday falls in which means if they wanna see him one of them or both have to blow off the mom per their no contact agreement. So she's paying for this ticket to see her daughter only to get snubbed by her? Assuming she's staying with family that means she's putting her up, paying for her ticket, probably driving her around, and she has to step aside and be snubbed like that by her own family? "Thanks for dropping me off at my sister's house. Now leave, dad's on his way." Can you imagine?
Last OP kind of pisses me off. Wdym the unseeable future? 😂 Honestly I hate when people claim they don't wanna pick sides when someone's drawing a line im the sand. It's clear they are picking sides, they just don't want to admit it. I don't trust this OP at all tbh. It feels like they were skewing the story at every turn against their mother, while ignoring the real issue is their cheating father. Nah, he came off smelling like roses despite literally cheating on her mom and destroying their family. I hate the way OP discounts her mother's anguish and talks about her like she's a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum. Meanwhile the dad? If they agreed to go NC and try to avoid each other like the plague why would he choose to visit the kids specifically during her birthday, when he knows OP is visiting to see the new baby and spend time with her mom while she's there? Why isn't the focus on him stepping back rather than OP? Why is OP fine with hurting her mom on her birthday and just straight up betraying her from what it sounds like? The whole "he was a shit husband but a good dad" thing I'm paraphrasing makes me want to vomit with how little empathy she has for her own mom. And claiming she's using gifts to control people? How would you feel if you gave your kid a nerf gun and they immediately shot you in the eye with it? Would you not want to take it back too? That ticket was for OP to visit family, not her homewrecking dad. Honestly OP is the biggest A.
Last story: OP is straight up trash. Her entire attitude regarding her Dad's cheating and her Mom's pain is disgusting. 25yrs of marriage. Dad cheats,betrays her Mom,betrays her and her sister. What does OP say. I don't "like" what my Dad did. That's their relationship. OP just can't understand Why her Mom doesn't want OP to have anything to do with her Dad. Really. Then Mom pays for OP's plane ticket to come visit. See her her sister,new baby and to spend time with her for her birthday. Then OP has the gall to get all indignant when Mom tells her that she didn't pay all of that money for her to spend time with her Dad. OP was all upset because her Mom said that she wished her Dad would die. Really. OP doesn't want to hurt her Dad. Yet she is More than willing to stab her in the back. It "hurts her so much too cut her Mom off". B S, F OP. Mom should have cut OP off long ago. I hope Mom finds someone that truly loves her, cares for her and is loyal to her.
Mom's issues with the Pops was hers to handle. Provided the he was a good father, she had no reason to try to isolate them to the extent that she did. Her venting would have been better served going towards her friends, siblings, and family. While maintaining composure and encouraging a solid relationship with the pops. The decision on whether to cut the pops off would then be on the children.
@@MCWon212 Provided that he was a good Dad. Part of being a Good Dad is respecting your family. Being an example of How to show love, dedication,care and loyalty to your kids Mom is part of being a Good Dad. Not deceiving and straight up lying to the kids and the wife for regardless of how long, is being a Good Dad. OP and her sister are adults, they aren't 10yrs old. She knows but doesn't care about how badly Dad hurt her Mom. OP didn't give a crap when she 1st found out about her Dad cheating and what it did to her Mom. "That's their relationship". So it's not OP's family being ripped apart because her Dad is a backstabbing,lying, cheating bastrd. OP doesn't give a crap now either. Personally I would love it if 10yrs down the line OP finds out that her hubby has been cheating on her for the past 5 or more years with multiple women and men. Do you think for a minute that OP would brush that off like she has her Dad cheating on her Mom and their family.
Are you being serious? Sure we only hear her side of the story but the mom sounds abuse as hell. For all we know she might have been acting that way towards her now ex-husband for years before the divorce as well. Either way you don't get to blackmail and abuse your kids just because you're hurting. The mom doesn't have to have anything to do with the dad, but she can't make her children never see their dad ever again if they don't feel the same. It's not the children's fault their dad cheated and you don't get to take their dad away from them.
In story 2, op's son was a child. His frontal lobe wasn't fully developed. he did something absolutely horrible, but he was also a manipulated abused boy. He was just a kid. My suggestion would be family therapy, dad and son first and then dad son and daughter when the daughter feels comfortable. Op did mess up by leaving his son with a known abuser, even if he did something horrible. There are some parts that are the kids fault. He still chose to bully and harass his sister, which is heinous imo. Can we please not forget that kids are just kids? They don't have the mental capacity in decision making that adults do.
I agree! I hate how he cut his son and knowing that his ex-wife was an abuser. He was a child when things happened and his father failed him by not leaving sooner. I'm always disgusted with these stories. How do you know what type of manipulative POS you married and just continued on.
Story 1: Lisa is a dangerous sociopath. OP parents did everyone a huge disservice by enabling her behavior.
But they didnt they tried to stop her but the school didnt do jack they couldn't have done anything else
They tried to protect op but couldn't
@@dumbidea1007 The parents didn't do everything possible. They didn't get her out of the house. They never sent her away.
@@lindah3803 she's a psycho what family member would want to keep her.
They cant leave her in the street
And it's not as if at risk youth school are cheap
@@dumbidea1007, they didn’t do enough when Lisa was a child to address her mental health issues and to protect OP, particularly if they were mainly relying on the school for help. The onus was on them to ensure Lisa was evaluated by a full mental health assessment team as soon as she started exhibiting symptoms of a personality disorder when she was a child. Instead, the parents gave up at the first hurdle and ended up normalizing Lisa’s behavior. They basically enabled the abuse when they allowed it to continue for so long. The parents failed OP and their entire family.
I find it to be interesting how the other sisters only saw Lisa for what she was when their husbands and children ended up on the receiving end of violence and lies.
Poor op. Getting betrayed by your spouse hurts like nothing else.
Agreed. I've been there with someone whom I trusted for 4 years.
You better believe it. I’ve broken at least two engagements because of betrayal.
I absolutely hated this story! NOBODY, including OPs wife, gives a chit about OP! They just all want to pat themselves on the back for getting to play Happy Family. Who cares that it's at OPs expense!! Horrendous ending!!
And HOW! 👍
S1: Your wife is wrong. If she tries this crap again, I would divorce her. The relationship between the siblings will take a lot of work.
S2: keep son disinherited. He doesn't deserve anything. His sister needs peace and he caused enough disruption in your lives.
Forced reconciliation is never going to go well it has to be on the victims terms not everyone else’s.
S1: I hope OP made it clear to his family, and especially his wife that if they ever do anything deceitful again, anything that breaks his trust, they’re all gone - family cut off, wife divorced. And obviously, even suggesting meeting with Lisa is immediate NC/divorce, no second chances, no explanations, just scorched earth, and going for full custody in both cases, because he can’t trust his daughter to be safe.
If it were me, they’d all be in very thin ice, and any comments about letting anything go, on any topic from them, is a dealbreaker.
What a bunch of AHs in his family. They believed Lisa because she was a good liar? And everything was always his fault? He was never believed?
Now they're manipulating him to "get back together". Even his Mom is working him. Just wait. 5/10 yrs down the line after Lisa gets all of her therapy and crap, she'll be "cured". OP will walk in his door to find Lisa and his wife sitting at the kitchen table. They All will be telling OP that she has been cured. She's good now. She's your sister, you have to forgive her. We've been seeing her for over 6 months. Trust us.
Yeah, that's what "being a good liar" means.
@@ShursGardenno, that’s what saying the family was clueless and had a favorite means. It’s basically never always one person’s fault, and they apparently never even considered that OP monthly be telling the truth.
No one in OP’s family, including his wife, are trustworthy.
@@brianbarber5401 "They believed her because she was a good liar?" If someone is a good liar, people are less likely to think they're a liar at all.
Lisa was never abused.
Lisa just figured this lie was the only way to get access to destroy you and your baby. Audrey is too gullible, or too stupid to protect her own kid from a violent psychopath. She actually conspired with your abuser to help her worm her way back into your life. Divorce her.
Agreeing to meet your harpie sisters in a BAR, with ALCOHOL, was a transcendantly stupid idea. Wise up.
None of these people care about you, or they would have helped you, instead of your abuser.
Honestly, that's exactly how it looks from my POV as well. The sisters didn't care and claim that they just didn't notice how bad Lisa was, but as soon as Lisa is telling lies about their husbands or abusing their children, all of a sudden they have the energy to pay attention.
Story 1: not saying anyone deserves to be abused in any way but “it’s no fun when the rabbit got the gun” huh? The sister tormented op only for karma to hit her back for him and the wife is a terrible person for knowing what the sister did and planning to force op into reconciling she’s just as sick as the sister is I feel bad for you and your child to have a wife/mother like that. I personally wouldn’t forgive the sisters for knowing what was going on and not stepping up to help me I can’t forgive that betrayal of sibling hood.
"The rabbits got the gun" ive never heard that one before. I like it i might have to steal that one. 😎
Yeah me neither.....i guarante they knew Lisa was unstable they just chose not to deal with it until it affected them.
I have severe doubts about the validity of the abuse that Lisa was supposedly the recipient of. Seems like a pretty convenient excuse to claim she was mistreated by somebody all these years ago and nothing can actually be done about it other than make herself look like a victim.
So basically his wife won by manipulating the situation and now she thinks she was right all along to force her traumatized husband back into a family relationship that deeply hurt him. She was a terrible wife for this, quite frankly, but because he loves her he’s giving her a pass because it’s easier to please her than fight with her. This won’t end well if he doesn’t get a handle of this crap she’s pulling. It won’t end here. She stomps perfectly reasonable boundaries and forces relationships. That’s not good in the long run and all of this could have ended very badly for her husband and child. She thinks she knows better than the person who grew up in the abuse. She pushed him and hurt him with it. She caused stress and unhappiness. That in itself is abusive.
Story 1: you owe your family NOTHING. They allowed Lisa to abuse you and ignored it and allowed it to continue. Yes your parents did intervene but it was the bare minimum they could do. NC to the lot of them. Also, wife would be on very very thin ice.
Reconciliation has to be both earned AND wanted, first by the agrieved party and then on their terms.
Reddit users are so quick to assume the worst, I swear most of them don't even live normal lives, what makes you an expert lmao
You think Reeidtors are normal? That's funny. Especially when mosg people's advice to an argument with an S.O is breakup/divorce.
Why do they not file charges against the mother for domestic violence?
S1: NTA. OP needs to divorce his wife. How dare she go to the woman who abused OP for many years and bring that woman back into his life after he finally got her out?! Forcing reconciliation is only ever good for the abuser, not for the abuse victim.
Kid made choices. Kid chose to stay with his hateful mother. Kid chose to defame Op with lies. Kid chose to physically, verbally, & emotionally abuse his sister. Kid can fck all the way off & think about all his choices.
Yea I don’t agree with those commenters if ima be honest too he made his decision so now there are conditions to me letting you back in if that is an option. but then I think about it it’s Reddit they excel in victim blaming like 80% of the time
Kid was raised by OP and an abusive person, kids are mirror their environment. Kids need the help of both mother and father figures.
OP allowed his son (and daughter) to live in an abusive household for majority of their lives and wonders why the son was just mirroring his environment
@@Vipershadow1in this situation the so can be seen as a victim in some ways, kids aren’t born good or bad (im talking about neurotypical kids). They mirror and learn actions from their parents and what their home life is like. Why are you surprised the son is echoing what his mom is saying when he’s been taught his WHOLE LIFE it’s okay to act that way.
My problem with this mindset is that theres no growth. No chance to repent.
Now im not saying OP just take the son in. Even OP knows this. Hes giving the daughter control, and doing the right thing by asking her feelings on the matter.
Now if the son had no remorse for it, then we wouldnt be talking about this.
Everyone deserves a second chance if they are willing to accept and do better.
Story 1 this is grounds for divorce
S1: The story of women minimising and disregarding the abuse of a man and not having respect for his boundaries.
S3: the story of a woman's anguish being minimised and her own child not having respect for her boundaries.
@@sweeety969 why was that a reply and not it's own comment?
@@sweeety969 also you should give that story another listen lol.
S1: she had made me steak & ordered Chinese food, which was a cheap attempt to try & calm the situation, unfortunately it worked 😂😂
Front kicked a child… 😧
I know, I'm amazed how he didn't tell us she was no longer "around" to
Story 3: I feel like OP is cutting out parts of the story just to have people support her and agree with her. And the fact that they brush off the dad cheating is horrible and also she basically ignores or doesn't explain how betrayed the mother felt. There so much to this story that OP doesn't want the viewers to know
I was thinking the samething,she kind of skimmed over that part.😅
What I may be true after looking at other posts where a dad who got cheated on use that to keep his kids away from his ex-wife. I kind of understand where the op is coming from. And that story The Father basically kept using his depression to keep the kids from ever inviting their mother to anything. Well I understood events that the father was going to what's something they agreed not to invite their mother to. But at some point the father started convincing them not to invite her to things even if he wasn't coming. My point is at a certain point grief turns into emotional manipulation. You cannot want to be in the same room as them but to prevent your kids from ever having a relationship with a parent outside of you. Specifically with the only reason being he cheated on me. Is manipulative and low-key abusive.
Story 1: Forcing, manipulating, and otherwise entertaining the notion of “Reconciliation” for a victim and their abuser is despicable. It is up to OP to want this, and no one else. However, If it was me in that situation, I would never forgive the abuser, even if said abuser saved my life. Those who stood by and let it happen also deserve no forgiveness, and that wife is a traitor. That is worthy of divorce. The sister’s “excuse” is bs. The therapists are awful, should be reported to the APA. The fact the therapist caved like the Buffalo Bills in the [‘90s] Super Bowl is appalling.
Story #1: First thing's first. OP does not "owe" anything to anybody. Lisa made his entire childhood miserable with her violence and lies that ruined his social life. And the other sisters deliberately chose to turn their heads away. And as far as the wife goes? She 100% needs to be on probation, because this is a massive loss of trust.
Op is a doormat in story one.
Hes more hurt than anything.
@@Fullmetal.Alchemist then he’s a really hurt doormat
yup, the idea that his wife found his story is hilarious, she's keeping track of everything he does so she can use it against him
It's okay to not look back if your that hurt.
Exactly
It sucks that OP relented. He should try not to be such a doormat in the future.
S2: ppl sure don’t read the OP said he’d help the kid escape smh 😂
He probably had to add that edit BC of people not reading. It was probably not there when they commented.
Lmao that story 2 comment is like listening to someone that read the first quarter and then reacted
The edit was probably added after they made that comment
19:10 that scared the crap out of me
S1 nta stay nc and you'll wife is nuts to take sister side.i rethink that relationship
The therapist should have said that the forgiveness isn’t for the sister but for him so he doesn’t hold onto the anger and keep resentment. Not for the sister’s sake but so he downs that a massive weight on him. But I fully understand why he doesn’t wanna forgive and he has every right to not reconcile. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation and it doesn’t have to be
8:06 yea uh….lets just say that he doesn’t have to forgive her and for his sake I hope he leaves his wife for even thinking that having that sick, psychotic person around her kid
anyone else think the wife was also a bully during her time as a student?
“Nothing is his fault.”
Now, let me tell you why *_that’s_* bullshit…
Yes he’s 16 he should be able to understand the gravity of his actions and the weight of his words
People on the internet are way too forgiving with teens. And here they like to gloss over the fact, that OP 2 got abused by his wife. How should he have raised him better when OP get abused and his abuser got her claws in that teens mind.
And i don't trust that son. He is probably now just sob because he got what he dished out as well.
People on reddit clearly don't care for OP and his daughter. Classic reddit.
S2 nta you don't necessarily have to forgive ut a straightforward conversation is a step forward
I’m a be honest what is bro building in the background I am so confused and perplexed. Some of the stuff looks like you’re not even playing Minecraft. She’s playing the building aspect. I remember in one episode where he was making a bee farm
you know minecraft is a building game right
@@LymiaKanokawa yeah but that’s only seems to do. I wanna see him fight the ender dragon or the wither it’ll be kind of cool
@@gavinoesparza5178 Then watch a different channel and get over it.
It looks like a dock
Story 1: Fuck em
Story 2: Fuck em
Story 3: Fuck em
Story 1: OP should not have been forced into a situation like that against his will, that should have been done on his own time instead of being shoved into it. that's how bonds are broken in the first place by pure pressure and then they start asking why he doesn't want to talk to them.
Story 2: Redditors on there need to take a chill pill for a second and re-read the story. The son CHOSE to side with the mother and spread those lies, HE CHOSE to believe the bullshit that his mother was feeding him. He is 19, sure OP could help but that's ONLY if he's willing too and he gets permission from his daughter. Just because he needs to ask his daughter WHO INFACT WAS YELLED AT AND SLAPPED by her own brother has the right to be asked if she wants her brother around again because you never know what could even happen to her if he listened to his "mother" again.
Hey, I was wondering if you'll ever release you MC world? It looks amazing and is definitely a art of why I watch these vids XD
Check the description, there's a link to the mine craft channel
Story 2: people are real quick to forget that the daughter exists and was abused too after she came out. She has every right to have a say on whether or not an abuser gets to have contact with her.
In story two it is insane that anyone would blame OP, brother SLAPPED sister for having a girlfriend! She needs to feel safe. He already got physical with her. Not to mention the betrayal.
Hell no I'll never forget someone who bullied me but was my siblings
OP1, your wife, wanting you to reconcile with your sisters is not wrong. Her trying to force you to reconcile with your sisters is wrong.
You sit down with your spouse and ask if the marriage is worth her pushing this issue. If she says yes and pushes for something you are against and won't take your side, then it's divorce.
I would divorce the wife and send C&D letters to sisters
story 1: Bro got done terrible, it’s too bad he had a child cuz if not, divorce would have quickly happened if i was him
Story 1: I can understand the wife wanting him to forgive his other sisters, although that will take time to rebuild the trust that was lost due to his abusive sibling's lies. However, his wife needs to work with him and not harass or try to browbeat him into doing things according to HER schedule, instead of respecting him and giving him the space to do things on his terms and at his pace!
As for the abusive sister.....she can piss right the Hell off and if his wife has a problem with that then she can piss off too!
Front kick a toddler!? Omg!!!
The term "hurt people hurt people" is very true and very valid but that doesn't automatically erase all the hurt and pain. It's up the the abused whether they want to forgive or forget
What is it with the spouses in all these stories thinking they have the right to the side what their significant other wants?
If you don't want to forgive them don't let anyone make you change your mind.nta
He made his bed now he gets to lay in it.
Yeah I'm not even finishing listening to the third story. Even if there's more to the story, I just can't see any way the OP comes out looking like an okay person tbh. It straight up just sounds like they didn't even remotely care that their dad cheated on their mom and expected everything to stay normal in the aftermath of the divorce. Like, at every turn it just seems like OP chose their cheating dad over their hurting mom... and like, for sure their mom shouldn't be demanding for her daughter to not allow the baby's grandfather to EVER see the baby(if that's what's happening) but I also get not wanting to have to share time that she had already set aside ahead of time to spend with her kids.
See the problem is she wasn't just demanding that she was demanding that they don't ever see their father again. It was even put in there that when they were helping a sibling move they also spent a little time with their father do they hadn't seen in 2 years. The mother went on a trip to avoid them because they spent time with their father. And only apologized and promise not to react like that again. I get what you're trying to say but one parent is trying to specifically trying to isolate their kids from their father even when they're grown. The other just wants to spend a little time with their kids that's it. While he was f***** up for cheating it's pretty easy to lean towards the one who isn't stressing you out for even conversing with the other parent. And the point that was made that the mom uses money to manipulate. Even if we don't want to include the plane ticket as the first example. The fact that their sister had money thrown at them from the grandparents to not invite the father to the wedding. Should be a major red flag as to what the mother tries to do to her adult children. All this person can do is just try to navigate it without stepping on any toes. It's not their fight they had already had time to move on from what happened. There are plenty of posts with people have a messed up parent but still love their parents and want them in their life. And some of those posts the parents did stuff far worse than just cheat. Why is this so different question mark it's not like they're inviting the mom and the father to the same events
s1: People with saviour complexes are usually the most arrogant in terms of relationships.
Did i miss something what big dramatic moment is op talking about
Story 2 I don’t understand why men sit in abusive relationships with women literally she is weaker than you first time she swings grab that arm and leave her
Why OP did divorce his dumb wife, I will never know.
He’s been beaten down his whole life. You can only expect so much
Story 1: is op trans or they forget to mention they are male in the opening
Deadass what's been pulling me out of the story with the mc building in the background second, op said youngest of 4 sisters but wife got pregnant and Lisa spread a rumour about op being gay. I'm so lost
@@jaydenallen7742 same story was going all over the place
He doesn't sound like much of a man tbf.
I was like "I guess the sister was right about them being gay" then they said they didn't pull out in time?
Story 3 nta you don't have to let this toxicity in your life
Birthday week. It's birthDAY, not BirthWEEK. Get a grip, people.
Doormat
#1: OP, _do not_ sacrifice your happiness and peace of mind to these people who went behind your back and lied to you. Your wife has proven she cannot be trusted. And when you finally talked to each other, she revealed she was hiding more. So, what else is she hiding from you? Leave her. If your parents try anything, cut them off. They're just trying to guilt you and the things that have happened to you and your siblings are the results of their own parenting. Whatever guilt they feel, they deserve it. And by the way, you can forgive people without having to talk to him. It's called MOVING ON. And that doesn't need to include the people who wronged you.
#2 My mom was abusive. And still is, while trying to be an innocent hero whenever drama comes up. And while my dad was nicer than her, he would always take her side or be a bystander to anything my mother did. Being complacent in abuse is just as bad as being the abuser. That being said, your son made his choices, but I respect that you're trying to help him. Regardless if your daughter is comfortable with him staying with you and her or not, it's nice that you're at least helping him, but be cautious. Help him, but remain cordial and nothing more, at least for the time being.
#3 Yes, cheating is bad. OP's mom is clearly hurt and traumatized, but the pity party is over, lady! Kids are grown and having kids of their own but OP's mom is still acting like a child. Good on OP for cutting her off. There's being a victim and there's being an a$$hole.
Quick Note: I have seen Lucky Past's comment on the video and they have a good point regarding Story #3. Basically they said that it felt like OP was leaving stuff out about their dad and how deep the betrayal really was.
But you have to admit, going off the handle and doing spiteful shit because OP just wanted to spend two or something hours out of a one week vacation with Dad is just petty.
3rd OP is definitely leaving shit out though like you said. And let's put it this way:
The parents avoid each other every other event of the year. Birthdays, Christmas, etc are split so you never have both parents there. This is clearly her birthday week and her daughter is flying in for the baby but also the birthday, so why on Earth would the dad fly in?
It sounds like he's stirring shit up just as much, but the mom is the only one getting in trouble for it. Like he doesn't even love there, he's going out of his way to fly in to see the baby, and he's doing it on purpose on the week her birthday falls in which means if they wanna see him one of them or both have to blow off the mom per their no contact agreement.
So she's paying for this ticket to see her daughter only to get snubbed by her? Assuming she's staying with family that means she's putting her up, paying for her ticket, probably driving her around, and she has to step aside and be snubbed like that by her own family? "Thanks for dropping me off at my sister's house. Now leave, dad's on his way." Can you imagine?
🍿😮
Last OP kind of pisses me off. Wdym the unseeable future? 😂
Honestly I hate when people claim they don't wanna pick sides when someone's drawing a line im the sand. It's clear they are picking sides, they just don't want to admit it.
I don't trust this OP at all tbh. It feels like they were skewing the story at every turn against their mother, while ignoring the real issue is their cheating father. Nah, he came off smelling like roses despite literally cheating on her mom and destroying their family. I hate the way OP discounts her mother's anguish and talks about her like she's a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum.
Meanwhile the dad? If they agreed to go NC and try to avoid each other like the plague why would he choose to visit the kids specifically during her birthday, when he knows OP is visiting to see the new baby and spend time with her mom while she's there? Why isn't the focus on him stepping back rather than OP? Why is OP fine with hurting her mom on her birthday and just straight up betraying her from what it sounds like? The whole "he was a shit husband but a good dad" thing I'm paraphrasing makes me want to vomit with how little empathy she has for her own mom.
And claiming she's using gifts to control people? How would you feel if you gave your kid a nerf gun and they immediately shot you in the eye with it? Would you not want to take it back too? That ticket was for OP to visit family, not her homewrecking dad. Honestly OP is the biggest A.
What the hell is a birthweek
Last story: OP is straight up trash. Her entire attitude regarding her Dad's cheating and her Mom's pain is disgusting. 25yrs of marriage. Dad cheats,betrays her Mom,betrays her and her sister. What does OP say. I don't "like" what my Dad did. That's their relationship. OP just can't understand Why her Mom doesn't want OP to have anything to do with her Dad. Really. Then Mom pays for OP's plane ticket to come visit. See her her sister,new baby and to spend time with her for her birthday. Then OP has the gall to get all indignant when Mom tells her that she didn't pay all of that money for her to spend time with her Dad. OP was all upset because her Mom said that she wished her Dad would die. Really. OP doesn't want to hurt her Dad. Yet she is More than willing to stab her in the back. It "hurts her so much too cut her Mom off". B S, F OP. Mom should have cut OP off long ago.
I hope Mom finds someone that truly loves her, cares for her and is loyal to her.
nah the last thing the mom should do is involve her children with her personal vendetta. That's not how betrayed spouses should treat their children.
Mom's issues with the Pops was hers to handle. Provided the he was a good father, she had no reason to try to isolate them to the extent that she did.
Her venting would have been better served going towards her friends, siblings, and family. While maintaining composure and encouraging a solid relationship with the pops.
The decision on whether to cut the pops off would then be on the children.
@@MCWon212 Provided that he was a good Dad. Part of being a Good Dad is respecting your family. Being an example of How to show love, dedication,care and loyalty to your kids Mom is part of being a Good Dad. Not deceiving and straight up lying to the kids and the wife for regardless of how long, is being a Good Dad.
OP and her sister are adults, they aren't 10yrs old. She knows but doesn't care about how badly Dad hurt her Mom. OP didn't give a crap when she 1st found out about her Dad cheating and what it did to her Mom. "That's their relationship". So it's not OP's family being ripped apart because her Dad is a backstabbing,lying, cheating bastrd. OP doesn't give a crap now either.
Personally I would love it if 10yrs down the line OP finds out that her hubby has been cheating on her for the past 5 or more years with multiple women and men. Do you think for a minute that OP would brush that off like she has her Dad cheating on her Mom and their family.
@@lindah3803na mom is trash no way you can defend her evil behavior no wonder he cheated
Are you being serious? Sure we only hear her side of the story but the mom sounds abuse as hell. For all we know she might have been acting that way towards her now ex-husband for years before the divorce as well. Either way you don't get to blackmail and abuse your kids just because you're hurting. The mom doesn't have to have anything to do with the dad, but she can't make her children never see their dad ever again if they don't feel the same. It's not the children's fault their dad cheated and you don't get to take their dad away from them.
#3. why are they surprised this harridan pulls? she is a C .. she can go where it never cools off
In story 2, op's son was a child. His frontal lobe wasn't fully developed. he did something absolutely horrible, but he was also a manipulated abused boy. He was just a kid. My suggestion would be family therapy, dad and son first and then dad son and daughter when the daughter feels comfortable. Op did mess up by leaving his son with a known abuser, even if he did something horrible. There are some parts that are the kids fault. He still chose to bully and harass his sister, which is heinous imo. Can we please not forget that kids are just kids? They don't have the mental capacity in decision making that adults do.
I agree! I hate how he cut his son and knowing that his ex-wife was an abuser. He was a child when things happened and his father failed him by not leaving sooner. I'm always disgusted with these stories. How do you know what type of manipulative POS you married and just continued on.