Dark Side of Japan: Hikkikomori (Japan's Recluses)
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- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2024
- The Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare defines hikikomori as people who refuse to leave their house and, thus, isolate themselves from society in their homes for a period exceeding six months.[2] The psychiatrist Tamaki Saitō defines hikikomori as "A state that has become a problem by the late twenties, that involves cooping oneself up in one’s own home and not participating in society for six months or longer, but that does not seem to have another psychological problem as its principal source."[3] More recently, researchers have suggested six specific criteria required to "diagnose" hikikomori: 1) spending most of the day and nearly every day confined to home, 2) marked and persistent avoidance of social situations, 3) symptoms interfering significantly with the person’s normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, 4) perceiving the withdrawal as ego-syntonic, 5) duration at least six months, and 6) no other mental disorder that accounts for the social withdrawal and avoidance.
everyday it gets easier to stay away from people. and everyday it gets harder to go back.
that's what i want to do stay away from ppl,pain, stress etc all come from ppl
I'm an American Hikkikomori
Finally. Something I can do well.
It do be like that.
I hate that alot of my hope has died.
Most people lie, most people put on a fake face, most people look at you as an obstacle, most people are unfriendly, most people care more about how they sound and look instead of being themselves. These are some of the reasons why i believe myself to be one. This feeling of feeling like i'm one of the very rare people who actually want real human interaction and a friendly world make me want to quit everything. At the time i post this message, this is how things are for me, i might change in the future, but if anyone feels the same, please let me know. Thank you for bringing this topic to the internet, i also feel like this is something that people just ignore and think of as a phase of sorts.
+mgsRyder ditto...
+L4br4 Thank you for the comment, i tried to search for a way to speak to you but coulnd't find any better than here, you don't seem to have many channels. Are you from Germany? Hey, if you can speak good English we can have a chat one day, i know how we can do it better than here, only if you want. Its good to know that i'm not alone even though its not a good thing. If we don't have a chance to talk, know that i hope things get better for you, even though i don't know you, the fact that you feel this is enough for me to know you're a good person and deserve to have a beautiful life. We should treat eachother how we wish they'd treat us. Just because you're a stranger doesn't mean i should treat you wrongly and coldly. Expecially when you feel these things too! Take care, whoever you are, wherever you are.
mgsRyder
keep calm :D
Yes i'm a german. And jep... approximately a loner for life. And this not just cause people think bad about me. Its just the same like everyone would say: People call it social interaction... I call it acting.
But its not that horrible after all. I'm not completely isolated. Plan to travel, to go on Festival with frank friends and so on... But yeah. everyday life is gloomy often.
L4br4 That's good, i hope it all goes well then. The way i fight it is by finding as much hobbies i like as possible and just try to get it in my head that i may not be with people for long times. But we all do it differently. Take care.
You're wrong about it being very rare.
I was just a lonely loser until I discovered I was doing something Japanese people did.....Now I feel apart of something
I lived in Japan for a few years too and what I noticed the most is that the awareness of mental health issues is virtually non-existent compared to UK, for example. Having read and viewed a number of videos, comments and forums about Hikikomori in Japanese, the majority of Japanese people seemed to think that those with mental/emotional issues like Hikikomori are "too weak" or "too spoilt" and all they need is a kick up the backside. The word, depression, isn't even widely used or understood over there either and people seem to associate having mental health issues with being clinically insane and it's very much seen as a taboo still; all hush-hush. Such a shame.
Hikikomori need mental and emotional support because they're likely suffering from depression, agoraphobia and/or social anxiety, possibly as a result of abuse (physical, sexual or emotional), bullying, not being understood or accepted just the way they are by their parents, too much pressure to perform and be better from an early age, not having a space to just be and express themselves and their individuality, having emotionally absent parents, being judged constantly, not receiving validation from parents, etc. Almost all of psychological issues stem from our childhood and how we were treated by our parents, siblings, friends and people in general and sometimes something small can trigger it all and send us into depression. But that kind of understanding seems to be severely lacking in Japan.
+Pom 3 ...Or maybe they're just losers that weren't meant to reproduce. Back then these kids would be forced to fight and die. Now instead of being in the next war shrine they're sitting in a box with their cartoon porn.
Let them all rot. There aren't enough resources to "fix" everyone.
they need to speak out. communicate. self express. stop making their pain a secret. knowledge, shared accessable and free is empowering. i agree with you completely.
Awful Aim the problem is not darwinion it's social. and it is ashame nethier japanese society nore you can see that. more and more people in japan become this way, it is not just "weakness".
i ended up in my room, no friends, only me and my poor mom, graduated school in 2012 and life just stopped for me while everyone else moved on and now im 24, fucking 24, it could be so easy, just go out there, approach people, find a job, go to university, but anxiety is like a high security prison i cant find a way out
i hope for anyone still in school to find their way in life and not end up like i did
Topy we're all gonna make it brah
Damn bro your me we are the same age and same story. Except for me it was after i had to drop out of college.
please dont give up everyone... :(...
+Topy I was in your same shoes up to 2 years ago except in my case it started at age of 29, spent almost 4 years as a shut in. Luckily I had several retirement accounts and used one to support me trough this period so I didn't feel as a burden to others so that took some pressure off.
I would recommend the anime Welcome to the NHK to anyone experiencing this, drug abuse or lots of bad experiences in life, this helped me get out of this dark period of life.
No matter what try to find a purpose in life is all I can say.
Nice to hear a story like that but if i had a way to suppport myself aswell i would definitely be out of this aswell but congratulations man wish you the best.
I am not a Hikkikomori because I have a job and I have to socialize all the time. But on the weekends, I don't go out at all and stay indoors almost all the time. I think I'm a Hikkikomori on the inside and I'm comfortable being an introvert, but I'm being forced to get out in order to survive.
Matt yep Thats sounds like how I am. When I'm out and about I pretend there is an invisible bubble around me and that invisible bubble acts as my barrier.
I am like that too, but I am a girl. Is that weird?
PMKP KELAS A No not at all. Welcome to the family
+Stephen Andrano
yeah. Thank you. I stay at home most of the time. Only go to school when needed. Rarely hanging out with friends. Even I am now 20 years and I can count only hang out with friends like less than 10 times:( Hobbies browsing videos, internet, and reading.
Sometimes, I feel like I am the only GIRL behaving like this and it scares me because most of them are GUYS. The fact that I haven't recognized any girl who has the same condition as mine makes me scared:(
Cool, everyone normal does that most of the time
I think I'm pretty close to being a hikkikomori without actually being one. I live in the west and I deal with this. I don't want to leave my house unless I have to. I have a massive inferiority complex and can't help but compare myself to everybody around me, I have anxiety and it's pretty bad. I don't know what has caused it, but it frequently makes me incapable of doing anything outside without others that I feel comfortable around and even then, I feel anxious constantly and I am always staring down at the ground. I am a victim of self-loathing and do not know what has made me like this. I am a worry wart who constantly worries and fear what will occur to me and this world. The reason why I don't like to go outside is people looking at me and fear of every living being judging me. My low self-esteem is bad enough without others adding to it.
Ahhh that's very sad to read. I think the best thing you can do is ask for help. See if there any talkline there that you could ring up and speak to/email. I'd also consider your actions and try to be positive thinking. Stop the negative thoughts and try and slowly build up the positive, don't read negative stuff and don't compare to yourself to others. Honestly, those people that you see will also have issues and they're people just like you. I can talk to you more if you like to let some steam off. :) Positive thinking is the key and play music that make you happy! Lastly, it's okay to not to be okay.
Thanks, I think it was made easier by saying it out loud.. I have massively changed my music that I listen to as to try and make me more up beat. I will attempt to think happier thoughts and I will attempt to make fewer and fewer comparisons until don't make any.
I saw a thing on my Facebook feed earlier that I think is sort of what I need to do, "Winners look to win. Losers look at winners." The wording is a tiny bit harsh, but I can't deny the truth it holds. I gotta stop looking at the winners and look forward to the win instead!
Thank you once again for your words!
Greg Sanders I agree with everything what you said! Also, I've just recently saw the meme too! :) You're very welcome. Hope it goes well and let me know!
Brian The Lion Thanks! I'll try my best!
***** I also know that feeling. I can't handle being judged either. I wonder if it's my upbringing or what.
Lived in Japan for over 5 years and am now more reclusive and socially anxious than before. If I tried talking about sadness or had any kind of problem, people labeled me a "negative person." I was constantly walking on eggshells trying to not hurt anyone's feelings. I was lucky I had someone to talk to about what was going on, but there are many Japanese people who don't have this luxury and they have no choice but to hide away in shame.
There's so much about Japanese culture and language that is hidden to many non-Japanese that it's easy for some to make snap judgments, but it's more complicated than it appears. I suspect there's a lot of emotional neglect and/or abuse in the families of hikikomori and an absent father-figure. I understand the need to shut in, and a lot of my issues stem from shame and being unable to express myself with my Japanese family. In Japan, you have honne and tatemae, but in my house there was a lot of tatemae and so I grew up never really knowing my family because they repressed all their negative emotions and didn't talk about anything negative. I felt ashamed to cry or get angry in front of my family, and I repressed a lot of those feelings. Sometimes I have episodes of anger, but I never take it out on others, just myself. I couldn't handle the guilt or shame of hurting another person. I'm pretty messed up, but I think my situation would be much worse if I grew up in Japan with no counselors or outlets for self-expression.
If you live your whole life in a country where you're constantly being analyzed and judged on a daily basis by your own family, society and the school system, you would probably opt to do something that makes you feel better which would be to escape and find a distraction like playing video games. Ever wonder why Japanese children are so happy and outgoing, but then turn out to be shy and passive once they enter the first grade? Their parents, teachers and authorities are constantly comparing them to others and punishing every minor mistake. Their entire life is a competition. How do you cope with that stress when you have no one to turn to? I would escape in fantasies, but I also like to draw and play music so I had an outlet.
Having Japanese parents, I always felt like a failure never able to meet any of their unrealistic expectations of me. I was constantly compared to their friend's exceptional kids, but I didn't even have it as bad as most Japanese kids do because I grew up in the US and I learned to talk back to my parents instead of believing they were incapable of any wrongdoing. If a Japanese kid talked back to his/her parents they would be considered selfish. You're supposed to respect your elders and never question authority. Most Japanese people don't even know how badly they were abused because they think it's normal since that is all they know. They think it's normal to criticize every little mistake their child makes to the point he/she doesn't know what's right or wrong anymore. When you're confused by inconsistent and incompetent authority figures constantly barking orders at you and telling your every minor thing you're doing wrong, and you've been raised to be obedient, you'll eventually just shut down and won't be able to function anymore. Or you may become a bossy control freak and terrorize other people. Japanese kids were not taught to be independent critical thinkers. They just did what they're told for fear of punishment or humiliation.
I grew up in America, but my parents are Japanese and I had to live with a father who never talked to me because he valued work over his family. When I got picked on at school I had no one to talk to, and my mom just told me "you have to learn to do things yourself" but she often felt sorry for me and enabled my childish behavior by overprotecting me so I never learned to be independent. I'm an avoidant personality/codependent by the way. I got ostracized in school, but I'm thankful I didn't grow up in Japan. If I had, I would probably be a full blown hikikomori too.
After returning from Japan, I feel more self conscious and am constantly overanalyzing every gesture and facial expression wondering what I'm doing wrong, and I'm trying to recover from this Japanese mindset of having to be perfect and people-pleasing. I'm glad you're making videos like these to try and educate others about the issue. Translating your videos in Japanese might help raise awareness about the problem in Japan and possibly reduce the stigma of mental illness in Japan. It also helps just knowing that there are compassionate people like you who care and aren't judging them. I wish someone could make youtube videos in Japanese to help hikikomori. I believe knowledge is power and there is so much that Japanese people don't know about, but NEED to know. Another issue is the "shouganai" (it can't be helped) attitude that leads them to not take initiative to change things for the better. Codependency and enabling behavior is another issue that's considered normal. Sorry for the long comment, I'm sure no one wants to read this, but I just felt like writing it cuz it was on my mind and i have no life.
I can relate to these feelings. Honestly after 9 years here I have a serious I don't care attitude in public. At work though I am always on guard. Work is probably the hardest cause I have to be careful with many aspects of who I truly am. Can't be sarcastic, or show negative feelings even if they aren't work related. That's just from a gaijin perspective and I am given a lot of room to be "unpredictable." For Japanese raised in Japan it must be too much at times.
I wish I were more thick-skinned to not care what people think. I guess the area I lived in didn't help. I was in the suburbs near Tokyo surrounded by high class well-educated doctors and scientists. Plus I was the only American in my area. I've felt the same way you do at work with my first job. My first boss was an older upper class Japanese woman who spoke no English and I talked to her through a translator. She made racist generalizations about former employees. I became very stiff around her and would keep my head down and I couldn't relax on the job. It wasn't all bad though. My second boss was Japanese-American guy the same age as me and was easy to get along with, and my 3rd boss was a Japanese woman who lived in America. She and I got along well and I was free to voice all my opinions, though at times I'm sure I crossed the line and started complaining like the bloggers. She knew more about American culture and she encouraged me to use English and to be myself. Small businesses are cool, especially if your boss understands your culture. Japanese from Japan who embrace their traditional values seem happy and content as long as they look at Western culture with fascination rather than envy. A lot of younger Japanese people tell me about their jealousy of Americans (prom, parties, freedom, owning a pool, etc.) and can only see the good qualities.
im sorry for your pain, thats crazy, dang... may you be blessed with healing, and so much love, empathy and understanding
💙
What keeps me inside is not enough money, and people are fucking horrible to be around.
While I cannot really call myself at this point a hikkikomori, I know that I have been at some point due to a fight I had with depression. My grandmother and my aunt had died in a very close time span. While their deaths didn't hit me hard personally, since I had essentially amputated my relationship with them when the end seemed near for them, my mother did not do so. She took it the hardest of all of us and began drinking heavily.
My dad and my mom started arguing a lot and I just thought everything was going to blow over like how I deal with most of my problems, however my mom needed to go into spine surgery for her lower thoracic and upper lumbar which would explain all of the drinking and arguing on top of everything. The surgery went well I was told, but I would later find out that it was just a preparation surgery where they burned her nerves and prepared the area for a future operation. My mom does not like going under the knife.
Not much after that my mom had a serious stroke and almost died. The doctor said that if we were one hour later, my dad would have to think about funeral plans. However the stroke had taken away her proper judgement and impulse control. The drinking became more and more of a problem and she started yelling at our pets and even the rest of the family, not to mention she was trying to be as accommodating as she could to my grandfather who recently lost his wife of 56 years.
This whole thing was like watching a train wreck with nothing you could do to stop it. So I didn't. I did what I always do and amputated the source of the problems. I shut myself away from my family and refused to leave my room, taking a gentle tone with my parents, coming up with stupid reasons and excuses not to leave my room and instead play video games all day. My dad tried many different ways of trying to get me out, but they never worked. He even shut off the power to my room, and all I did was just go to bed and sleep. I became nocturnal so I could turn on the power to my room when he was asleep.
It was when I slithered out of my room one night for some food and saw a bill next to the pile of mail that I realized that I couldn't just keep on doing what I was doing. My mother's hospital bills and the cost of keeping us in this house was too much for my parent's retirement to cover, especially with my eating 80% of the damn power. I must have looked at that slip of paper for at least an hour before I went back to my room and started cranking out applications like a machine. I told myself that I was gonna get enough money to pay back my parents for everything and get something to keep my mentality going.
Today I work for Staples and am taking care of my grandfather's sheltie.
+ZathosGamer thanks for sharing, i would share too but mine isnt so epic, basically me, brother, sister and mother are immigrants, first in germany now in uk, mom has 15 years experience as a nurse and works in a food factory, currently im waiting for a call for work at telephone repair factory in the hope to take her weight so she could learn english and do what he knows the best. Im kind of half of a shutin, im not scared to go out or talk with someone, but when i do i keep getting shakes, sweating alot, voice shaking, mind feels like a hurricane, not physically fit either, have a scoliosis, worked in a chicken factory, strained back's nerves was abused in every sector of the factory, reported abusive team leader, agency didnt do shiet, i was fired left and right, im 19, thinking of going to college but will have to work for moving to another city
I lived like this for 3 - 4 years, it's not a healthy way of living, and it's very hard to rehabilitate yourself back into society and to become a functional human being because of how withdrawn you become. I used to joke about being a level 80 hermit wizard, and joking about such a thing doesn't really change anything, you're still a shut-in and that alone is depressing. Once you've really dug yourself into that hole, it's a lot harder to get yourself out of it unless you have a strong enough support system, which gets smaller the longer you continue to live in that particular way (avoiding socializing, withdrawing from society completely, no physical or no emotional contact with anyone).
I stopped living like that as soon as I turned 25 (started when I was 22 - 23), returned back to society by finding new goals and endeavors, and for anyone who has become a shut-in, stop what you're doing and think about what you truly want in life and strive to make it a goal. Take baby steps towards those goals, reach out to friends (anyone who is willing to listen) and tell them how you're feeling, ask them to listen to your story (even if you think they wouldn't care, tell them anyways, someone will listen). It might seem like a daunting task at first, but everyone has to start somewhere.
[Sips coffee]
I'm 25, I'll be 26 in June, I'm now a student in Law Enforcement and have broken free from the shackles of social withdrawal last summer... You can do the same thing, don't ever give up on your dreams/endeavors, don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something, because you can. Tackle your goals, destroy those who get in your way if you have to (if that's what it takes to get what you want).
[Sips more coffee]
... Anyways, enough of that sentimental crap. >:[
You can be a high-functioning hikikomori. You can go to work full-time, go home, spend the rest of your time on the internet,watch Netflix,anime,and play video games. It's actually a pretty self-fulling lifestyle, Keep a few close friends that you occasionally see and receive philosophical nourishment from the internet. It's a peaceful, drama-free lifestyle. I consider myself a MGTOW (Man going his own way) and it fits perfectly with me. You have to enjoy solitude for this and balance desire to succeed in life (which I have) with independence.
Best decision I ever made.
nuevziel04 im glad tonhear ypu have found the lifestyle that works for you but hikkikomori by the japanese definition does not go to work. ive listened to to mgtow analysis of hikkikomori and while some aspects are right some are very wrong. for example some mgtows like sandman talk about the reason people become hikkikomori in japan is because there are no jobs and all jobs are held too long by old people. this isnt true. unemoyment is incredibly low in japan and with the recent drop in population we have actually had too many vacant jobs that need young people. also hust so you know hikkikomori never leave their room let alone their house. so going to a job and calling yourself hikkikomori is an impossibility
unrested it seems I misunderstood the definition. I've seen some documentaries where parents have to bring them food, and people from support groups visit them in secret to try and come out. I've heard this and the herbivore man are interesting phenomenon to Japan, in fact the herbivore movement may be a closer definition the MGTOW movement, men rejecting masculine responsibilities and resisting the traditional salaryman role. Regardless hopefully a more extensive support network can address this issue, this behavior has to be dealt with at the very onset before anyone in the household considers this acceptable.
nuevziel04 ok so i have been getting this message alot in my inbox from other mgtow practitioners and your comment today made me realize perhaps either i need to be more clear or their might be a new borrow word being created i dont know about. hence i made a video reply to this comment and other emails i have gotten on the subject. i hope it best answers the ways in which i believe they differ and allows us to better understand these two social movements more clearly and in an objective manner. no matter what your lifestyle or views on this subject are i thank you for the discussion that lead to my newest jfaq video
nuevziel04 Don't call yourself a hikki boyo. You don't know half the hell of it ok? It's not good, and you don't want anything to do with it.
Neo Fusion 26, graduated with an MBA, in an managerial position. The MGTOW philosophy spans all age ranges, Sandman a popular mgtow channel makes a lot of videos about it. I also like Razorbladekandy2, he's a more 'Extreme' MGOTW but he's made some epic philosophical videos on social issues.
Recovering "Hikkikomori" I guess you would say. Shut myself in for a few years after High School, mostly due to how much I'd have to pay out of pocket to get into community college just to get core classes out of the way. Smart, because I refuse to get sucked into loans. Not smart, because it became an excuse. 3 years leeching off the parents. Mother's the only reason i was still allowed in the house. Outer family called me a waste of space. I should be kicked to the curb. I should be left out there to survive and not look back.
I broke out of it once they reached out and managed to get me an interview for a job. Wendy's, so not an amazing one, but it was that or military. Didn't realize how terrified I was of people, and how illogical they became. Overthinking. To this day I still can't blend into a crowd. Work at best buy now. Wendy's failed due to a Justice complex I nurtured during my shut in days playing fallout 3 and watching Anime like Death Note and Code Geass. Geek squad agent ironically.
Still get bouts of depression. Random. Still hate people out there with a passion, but somehow get complimented for the "best Customer Service". Probably because I know what miserable feels like. Felt it for 3 years straight. Don't want anyone to feel that way. Always try to make them smile. Better that way. To this day, I only gave 2-3 close friends I can take off the mask for. Coworkers are allies. Certain clients are acquaintances. Everyone else is an enemy until proven otherwise.
People have manipulated my social awkwardness before. Gotten me in trouble. Robbed me blind. Stolen love interests away. Going back is not an option, but appealing. Still have a negative outlook on the world, but trying to make it better. It's dark grey instead of black.
korima1 i'm con the same path as you, best i can say is to find something else to do a distraction or maybe meet more people , even in the awkward way . i know this. omment is way too late but hope you are doing better now. excuse me for my english , isnt my native tongue
If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean when you say "justice complex"?
WhatwillIbecome the best way to describe it is trying to correct everything that is wrong. In the Wendy's case, manager and district manager were cutting corners to get a nice bonus. I tried to stop it. It worked, since neither of them work at Wendy's anymore, but at the cost of my own job and ability to work at Wendy's anymore.
On the bright side, things have gotten better over this past year. I have a few friends, although it's still a struggle with anxiety to "go out" with them, whether that be karaoke, games at their house, or just getting a bite to eat. I've kinda adapted a work persona that seems to take the social awkwardness away from regular speech, but outside of work I still have that awkwardness.
Basically when I'm working you'd never know I was a shut in. Outside of work and average conversation makes it obvious though. I also think it helps I met another... past shut in? That knew what Hikkikomori was and had it worse than I was. We never met in person, but eventually ended up talking about accomplishments and goals we have with each other. Just knowing someone else was recovering was what pushed me past that point; "If he has it worse than me, but can now go into a restaurant and eat without panicking out of there and asking it to go, I can do better myself."
Jesus Christ. If the only choices in life were to join the military, work at Wendy's, or work at Best Buy, I would never want to leave my room either.
korima1 Pussy
I'm hikikomori now. After 8 years of increasing isolation, finally I don't ever go outside or see anyone at all. Fear, self-loathing, pain and psychosis. But the biggest factor is shame. The loneliness kinda wore off for me after a while.
In my opinion, a wrong approach from the family is the biggest issue in prolonging such state. People believe that a way of dealing with the problem is to push that person, shower them with random advice about things they already know (often in a tone which implies their inferiority). The family no longer has any respect for that person, and believe me, it is very easily noticeable in their tone; you can even see it in their eyes.
Is there a universal solution? Probably not. But I believe that the only good way out is finding something that you always wanted to do. Maybe you had dreams about becoming this or that when you were a kid, but everyone just ridiculed you whenever you talked about it. Go back to those dreams, keep working on it every day even if it's just half an hour. Believe in yourself and don't listen to people who know absolutely nothing about it. Sooner or later you will make friends who share the same dream. With time you will become very good at it, and eventually somebody will be willing to pay for your skills.
this comment is four years ago but thank you, i needed to see this rn..
The hikikomori is caused by the over availability of entertainment. Any event or stress can lead a person to escape from facing the problem by turning into anime, movies or games. Just watch how a Japanese city looks and tell me Im not right. Full of images, and big screen and entertainment everywhere. I firmly believe that the entertainment and specifically anime, video games and the pornography are causing the anxiety of many people and Japan is having it worst because they're overloaded with these things.
This sounds far worse than the shut ins I've met here in the U.S. I knew a guy who's a serious shut in. Only goes to the grocery store in the middle of the night. Aside from that he goes no where at all. He's heavily dependent upon alcohol, drinks himself to sleep everyday. The apartment he has, has never had its windows or curtains open, the carpet has never been cleaned and he has kept every news paper since the year 2000. He bases his self worth on his monetary possessions. He wants to buy, collect and hoard BUT once he purchases something, he puts it in a pile and never touches it again. Even though he doesn't use, look at, or even touch the things he buys he has a nagging feeling in the back of his head that MUST keep hoarding more stuff.
I tried to help him for years, it took me 7 years before I gave up on him. Once I decided I was putting too much energy into helping someone that doesn't want to change, I never spoke to him ever again.
I do feel bad for walking away, but in life you have to know when too much of anything is enough and you must draw a line in the sand at one point.
I know I'm 3 years late, but that was not easy. 7 years is more than enough. I'm sure even it wasn't obvious to you, he absolutely value those years that you're helping him and making sure that somebody's with him. Blessed your beautiful heart sir. 💙
Honestly this sounds like something that could happen to anyone in this situation.
Withdrawal is caused by the loss of hope. When there is hope a person will respond with anger, complaint, or an attempt to fix the problem themselves. Without hope the individual shuts down.
Asking how to help such an individual is asking how to give hope to the hopeless, a question to which the answer is as varied as the individuals themselves. It can be done, but it requires real effort with little reward.
finfan7 Yet so many have been helped, and in my view the reward of seeing another person go on to want to live is the reward all one needs.
I've heard the opposite with respect to how efficient the Japanese workforce is. I have heard that, at least in business operations, the workplace demands long hours without any actually work getting done, just a lot of pretending to be working.
Gaatsu Guts There's an interesting study about this by the US company Gallup. It shows that only 13% of the world's workers are actually actively engaged at work. In Japan it's 7% :\
(In Russia, universally derided as a depressed shithole on the verge of collapsing, it's 19%).
www.gallup.com/poll/165269/worldwide-employees-engaged-work.aspx
Gaatsu Guts There's also a great study about this called _The Lonely Crowd: A Study of the Changing American Character_ by sociologist David Riesman. He talks about how consumer societies are not about being worried and guilt-prone and getting something done, but about enjoying yourself, group spirit, not taking things too seriously etc. It's great, you should read it :)
I was a Hiki for two years. (living in Norway, hailing from brasil)
Ended up trying to off my self.
Realized that i had to change, now i work as a photojournalist, covering gang wars in the favelas.
I guess i still wanna die, and that soc is a too much of a hassle. But now i can be myself and die the way i want.
Not trolling here.
But i guess this will be a even bigger problem in the next decade.
why do all the people that are commenting under this that supposedly have this disorder have animie as there profile pic ?
Because, they hate themselves and they don't want their face to be revealed out into the world.
Yeah fuck them
Oscar Perez This is the correlation I was talking about. I myself was a shut in. And guess what, I watched tons of anime. I watched a lot of porn too and played a lot of video games. So entertainment has become toxic and it is so toxic that it could bring down society. I mean they said that by 2050 Japan's population could be decreased by half. What about by 2070, one quarter? So yeah, these things that entertain us are toxic and unhealthy.
Entertainment is a force that can create a cultural shift. Kids imitate their favorite rapper, their favorite basketball player. From entertainment, one can learn how to act. Entertainment can be used to take down a country by infecting its youth with an unhealthy way of thinking. True, people have a choice but what choice does a kid really have? They dont know better.
lol
right now i am not working and i'll be looking for another job later. but i never give up hope, i always need dreams to move on and work towards. It's not in my blood to give up. I think hikkimori needs dreams, confidence and will power first. any job is fine, as long as there's cash in and you can try to find ways to reach your dreams whether in Japan or abroad
This is not just Japan. These are the symptoms of capitalism.
+The Crucible Bitch.
+MV Japan is not a capitalist society, and in capitalist societies, we don't have hundreds of thousands of people becoming reclusive in their own homes because of the expectations of society. So, what you said doesn't make any sense at all. This is very much Japan, and other high pressure societies, but apparently Japan is one of the worst in the world when it comes to societal expectations. Part of the problem is the extremely limited career options people in Japan have. Their career paths are usually chosen for them and they cannot change it if they don't like that career path. At least in Capitalist societies like America you can change your career path anytime you want if you don't like the kinds of jobs available to you. That takes huge amounts of pressure off of people.
nazra7 There are degrees of capitalism in different societies. Japan is highly capitalistic even through there are elements of socialism. The same can be said of America. There are many men in America becoming reclusive and dropping out of society. This is the MGTOW movement.
MV Japan is becoming more capitalistic over time but it still has a state-led economic system which is the complete opposite of the definition of capitalism. Most people who become reclusive in the US is due to depression and being bullied by peers, while in Japan, hikikomoris are becoming reclusive because of the pressure of their responsibilities their spociety expects them to undertake, not because they are being bullied and not because they are depressed.
Very few true hikikomoris exist in America and other western cultures while hundreds of thousands exist in Japan alone. It's not because of capitalism, it's because of the high pressure society Japan is especially considering how most people in Japan do not have the freedom to pursue the career of their own choosing. Contrary to what some anti-capitalist philosophers believe, capitalism is not necessarily a high pressure society, especially when you have the freedom to choose your own career. Capitalism is a highly competitive society, and there's a difference between being highly competitive and being high pressure because we are allowed to compete in what we feel comfortable doing while so many Japanese people are not.
+MV Also the MGTOW movement, aka the Men going their own way movement, is a movement of male separatism which has men being completely disinterested in women, getting married, and having children. It's kind of like feminism, but for men. It has nothing to do with becoming reclusive. So again, your comment is misinformed.
Aldous Huxley calls those kinds of people "born contemplatives."
They exist universally, and are usually male.
Too much time spent on "action-oriented" things, without any time put aside for their resting, meditating and contemplating and they will become very depressed.
I am inside my house because I have high sensitivity and I dont really like to small talk with people I dont know. I only go outside when I am forced to or my food supply is empty. I only buy food products that lasts long and can be stored for 2 months or more. Like canned tuna, peasoup, canned beans and noodle. I love my life style because im more comfy in it, but my society wants me to be working citizen and I get these seizures when someone scolds me. I would rather run home under my plankets than face my problems.
government pays my living
I go out and motorcycle camping, alone. I am antisocial/antihuman. it's not a disorder, I work front line job all the time which made me sick of being with people.
I'm not a Japanese and living in the west. And unfortunately and sadly I'be become a Hikkikomori. I've sucked in life, lost everything and have literally nothing. From A to Z nothing. So I've shut down, from society, from world and life itself. Actually I'm in my room and waiting for my death. And the cruelest thing about this experience is that not even a single person cares about that. Not even my family wonders why I haven't come out of my small room for half a year. That hurts most of all.
Hell...send me a list of the things you suck at, and the things you want to be/might be/are good at. I don't want to read the whole 'everything/nothing' thing. Just give me 5 minutes of effort. doesn't matter how insignificant, weird, or messed up you think those things are.
idk you but if i were in your situation, and i stopped caring for my life i would go out there and do anything i want before i die like some fight club shit. Because itd be better than just sitting in a room waiting to die
I care :3 read about near death experiences and you will prove to yourself that there is an afterlife. im also a sort of a hikikomori and this hope of an afterlife gives me hope and makes me want to live every day.
hello I care about you! I want to know how are you able to not leave your room how do you eat etc? wish I could comfort you
Pretty relateable, minus the Xan and Trams. I am undiagnosed and unprescribed, though I self medicate my perceived ailments with occasional usage of spirits and herbal extracts.
judgement, thats what keeps me inside.
Yonas Tadesse Meh, you can do better.
***** lol
I think some Hikkikomori have anxiety disorders
I'd say most even? I mean i have no pro background here but yeah...anxiety is a good bet
unrested well I think some could have social anxiety, ocd and gad
7 years and i'm not from japan (though i don't just stay in my room and i do leave the house once in a blue moon/very, very rarely) O: all bcuz of social anxiety
the majority of people would get anxiety issues after 6+ months locked in their own room with no social interaction
***** you can have both anxiety and depression and not want to come out of your room
I could never be a Hikkikomori even if I wanted to, nobody in my family would tolerate it, I'd get dragged back out of my room by the end of the second day.
how do hikikomori sustain this lifestyle? where did they get the money to buy food and stuffs?
amazon
7 eleven 24-7 shops (came out during non crowded midnight)
and their parents money
at best they are making some kind of money doing odd jobs in their vicinity
if they can cook they can buy resource for cooking through amazon
human after all are a nuisance, we just can't get rid of them yet
Also to add to what hendrik said, a lot of them buy generic ramen noodles and similar instant meals from the internet and have them delivered.
Thanks for the replies.
"Anti-social behavior is a trait of intelligence in a wold full of conformists." Nikola Tesla
freezkeer he also throw his mechanical engeneering study dosnt mean everones does that is intelligent
For me personally, I live in Singapore, which has a work/education culture I feel is hugely similar to Japan.
While I'm not exactly a hikkikomori, in my downtime/holidays, I tend to spend 99% of my time at home gaming. This probably stems from the fact that I am a huge introvert, and only go out when friends invite me, rather than me taking the initiative to invite them. Even then, I may reject their offers.
I'm going into uni soon, and I feel it may be time for me to start to make an active effort to change. Join clubs, talk more etc etc. Although 21 years of introvertism will definitely make it hard.
throw your dream away & everything is MUCH easier
this came out 27 years old man living with his dad & mom's house currently heir-in training of his dad's company
i got siblings to get rid of
Heartbreaking. Seems like an epidemic of learned helplessness caused a lot by lack of autonomy - they've done studies with animals that if an animal has all control taken away and is given mild shocks, they don't try and get away anymore, they just lay down and do nothing. And when we stay in a single space for a long time, we actually lose the neurons in our brain related to getting out/surviving in other spaces. Which would cause a tremendous amount of anxiety if someone then wanted to leave and go outside. New neuron can be generated to handle those situations again, but it's awful that there's no social programs in place to help do so :(
I understand the non-willingness to confront things. I live in Japan and have experienced people like the parents of these people. They don't do anything except let the situation continue. I have to ask what the holy hell are parents in their 80's doing, letting their 50 year old son stay in his room? Why? And before you jump, I KNOW what their stupid dumb answer will be. They will sigh and suck their teeth and squint sideways and say Muzukashine? There is no independence of thought in Japan and people let it continue because they don't ever EVER want to take affirmative action. It makes me sick. Take the door off, and frog march your kid into the living room, tell him he DOESN"T need to go to a stupid cram school and stop pressurising kids in school. That's the reason anyone ends up going inside their room and I don't blame them. I DO blame parents for letting it happen and then when it does, not doing anything practical about it.Let your kids be artists, musicians, singers, puppet makers for gods sake.
At low points in my life I would spend months in my room and would only leave for basic necessities. Sometimes I hated being in there so I would leave but the anxiety of being surrounded by people drove me back inside. I started to leave when I had to. I had to do a study placement in Italy and... I spent 95% of that time in my bedroom with the doors and windows locked. I would go to the kitchen at midnight to cook. I just was so anxious all the time about being around people. I didn't want them to talk. I wanted to be left alone.
my cousin was hikikomori and then he watched NHK ni youkoso and that motivated him to improve. I'm sure this video will motivate others too. good job unrested the quality of your videos are improving beyond the standard.
I'm hikikomori, well kinda. I skip school often, wish I could just lock myself in but I know my parents will always stand in front of my door when I do. I lost ally my friends due to my social awkwardness, I am very depressed, maybe even more, rarely self harm and cry a lot. I wish my parents wouldn't always tell me that it is just a phase and it will go away eventually. I lived in this situation for more then 3 years now and it gets worse with my parents still refusing to seek help (and even taking away my antidepressants they have found).....
Mono98 How did you get the anti depressants, was it from the doctors? I think if you go to the doctors they will give you some more. What makes you laugh? Do you do things that make you happy like play a musical instrument, or drawing mabey?
Yeah from the doctors, and yes there are things that make me happy, drawing, gaming, listening to music and recently game making (though, all of those can make me cry, especially music). Sometimes I can't even bother to do any of these. I also lost some hobbies, like my cat (he died), Languages, writing, watching anime/reading manga (I do the last 2, but very rarely). Also, I have those terrible "mood swings", when I am all alone in my room and don't hear anyone I get into a pretty good mood. Idk everything has gotten worse somehow, I even skipped school yesterday and monday because of how miserable I was at the weekend.
I should probably also mention that I have started hurting myself recently. Well, not recently actually, but it has gotten so bad that I have wounds and scars at least. But don't think I am some sort of a attention seeker. Everytime before I do it I think about the situation and if I could handle it differently and I also don't cut my arms, but rather my upper legs so no one can notice and insult me for it.. And the term "recently" is not correct either. I attempted it several times years ago, but not only with cutting. It started with hitting myself with objects, then I started cutting with kitchen knifes, pencils etc. but not even deep enough to bleed, I kinda just had these white scratches. Someday however I kinda freaked out on my upper arm and cut just deep enough to make it bleed. I was kinda shocked and decided to quit and it worked for a while. I never cut myself deep enough to bleed ever again, until last autumn or so, then I started to do it on my leg. I hardly ever do it, it's not like a daily thing, mainly because I think before I do it if those feelings or emptiness would go away faster if I play a game or scribble around, I only have like 13 (self harm) scars + 1 on my arm :L . I stopped around christmas timebecause I started to feel like a disappointment to everyone, my grades were pretty good/ok though, still I didn't wanna be labeled as a ungrateful, stupid child that can't handle problems, though it started again a few weeks ago
Im so sorry. I dont know much about self harming. I have thought about what makes someone do it. You said the emptyness, is it like you just want to feel something deeper. As humans we are very complex but I know that we were put on earth to do stuff, when we dont we feel empty. I think you have an artistic spirit, I am an artist as well so I think I can pick up when some other person has the artistic spirit. Is that how you feel?
I am a huge music fan too, music is the highest of all artistic expression. I play the harmonica because its easy to learn and not expensive. I like to youtube lessons on art and harmonica.
Chi Quita Feldberg I don't know why people self harm. I think 10 people have 10 different motives on this. The only thing I can tell you is that it is not something new at all, cutting is not the only form of self harm & it is not a thing only teenagers do . My mum once told me of a kid of someone she knows and at the time where his parents divorced he started banging his head against objects. He wasn't even 10 years old if I remember correctly. I once found a blog of a midaged woman who self harms as well, she started at a relatively young age though. It is just a bizarre and m isunderstood way of handling problems, but I won't deny that many do it for attention these days, especially in social media. I don't see any other points in posting self inflicted wounds online whatsoever. I should probably also mention that the body releases adrenaline and some hormones that actually make you feel good/better, it's kind of a micro-orgasm but kind of not because they are not released in those amounts and you generally don't hurt yourself to make you feel good, just better, even if it is a tiny bit. It gets really problematic when it's evolving into a habit or addiction..
***** No, they are not terrible, just very ignorant. It is true that they don't do anything and took away my medication, though. Well, after my medication was taken away we went to another, homeopathic doctor and I got another "medication". Srsly, I felt really, really fooled when I saw it: my original medication was the size of a normal pill and I had to take half of it, this doctor sent me 5 tiny (smaller than a piece of sugar!!) balls. I mean wtf? I might not feel like shit anymore, but I have less motivation & interests. Gaming just isn't fun anymore and my attention span went lower, too. I can focus ~40 minutes on something which is very, very bad.
Yea, I am 16 but the first time I was scared, and I honestly mean scared like I wanted to die or disappear from a person was at my first year of school, so when I was 6. I had problems communicating with other even in kindergarten, though. I don't understand it when my mum says I was a pretty open child because I was not. I might have been at times, but in general, no. It was not like I was not talking at all or autistic, yet something more than introversion I assume? Anyways, mym um being my mum always blamed it on TV and games, though at the time I hardly ever played and when I did I did it with my sis together. Today all the problems get blamed on puberty and rarely on games.
Trust me, I can't get them to take this seriously. My dad just doesn't care and my mum once even stated "psychology is good for nothing.."?! The school psychologist is only available on tuesdays between 12 and 1, I have maths at the time and my teacher wouldn't let me go there. I am also scared talking about everything that has ahppened. I might be ok talking about most things (slightly changed, though), but everything..? I also think I would not be taken seriously for some reason.. Sometimes I get myself to believe that everything is fine and it will be over as soon as puberty ends.....
personally, i consider these people to be quite normal given the insanity of what is considered "normal" in society and the environmental conditions we live in.
Im 28 going on 29. I always tend to find a room to dwell in. As a youth in America, which is very low pressure in it's system, from school to the fact you can live off service industry and blue collar work easily I was fine. Im not Mr. Congeniality but I have a silver tongue and a certain charm to me, that most people would admit endears them to me despite my brushing aside of the societal norms many pride themselves on. Despite this I have been what I can only call an on and off again Hikikomori.. I have a close knit circle of friends, my family loves me, and I have accrued enough wealth through online poker and inheritance over the years to pay my mother more than enough money for her not to mind my presence in her house. Sometimes I would spend almost a half a year in my room, afraid of pressures that really don't exist I felt walking outside would kill me other times, I would go do stand up comedy, and battle rap, and act, I even moved to Los Angeles (from New Jersey) a few years back and while I wasn't a social butterfly I did make quite a few friends on the comedy and poker circuit. All this has been fine, i've been places many won't go, I've been with women, I've had a life many people are envious of where I can be carefree and only interact with people when I feel like it. Recently I decided I couldn't live this way anymore. Over the last few years i've been involved in facebook groups just to catch the flavor of the people around me and in that I met the love of my life, im going to meet her in Kansas (im back in NJ rght now) October 27th and after I get back I plan on moving there full time in January. I know im behind all my peers, I know I chase a pipe dream trying to be an artist for a living but I want to live the american dream and have a family, and work a 9 to 5 in the meanwhile while my art catches and if it never does I want to live a life where im happy with my wife and friends and possibly kids, and I don't know. I guess I just watched enough of the world and learned enough to move out of my Hikikomori state. I don't know if that happens a lot. People just growing out of it, but it seems that way with me, now I enjoy being out and telling stories and making people laugh, and I brush off the feelings of being judged as lesser and I have a long way to go, but I think sometimes the only reason I can do that is because I live in the Western world. If I had grown up in Japan with the attitude I have I would probably be shut in on permanent basis with no hope in sight. I don't know if this story helps or amounts to verbal diarrhea, but I figured it was as good as any place to post it.
PS cool video
One tip that helps me when I feel like I'm failing at something and want to give up or retreat into myself or my room and stop trying is to remember the fact that EVERYONE sucks at things. Even your heroes. There are great sportsmen and women out there who can't sing for shit. There are fantastic writers and philosophers who struggle with anything more than basic mathematics. There are people with incredible bodies but not much going on upstairs and vice versa. There are wonderful mothers who are the most gentle and caring people around but would be utter shite when it comes to running a car wash. There are CEOs who are loaded but stressed out of their minds and unable to connect with people outside of a working environment. There are amazing actors who can barely manage to draw a convincing stick figure. There are wonderful friends who don't get the best marks at school. There are supportive, present parents who try their best even when they can't afford the best of things and get stressed out with bills.
The point is, humans are almost infinitely varied and peoples positives and negatives make them who they are. The biggest task you are dealt in life is finding what you will do, what you are good at, or at the very least what you are passionate enough about that you might one day get good, if not great. Even if you don't, at least you tried. Life is about the journey, not the destination. Keep moving. Keep trying. Keep yourself busy. You'll look back when you are older and realise the fun wasn't in achieving every one of your goals but in all the odd, random, unpredictable shit that happens in between. The odds for those unpredictable, unforeseeable life altering events (a chance encounter, a close call, a phone call, a random coincidence) increase if you get out there and do things. Anything.
So as the man once said 'life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans' so start making some plans. Any plans. It's up to you...yeah you.
back in the day when Japanese culture was full of arts, poem and literature, the men especially were proud warriors. Japanese society has become a fulfillment of nothingness.
Count Dracula called and wants his hairline back .
Can y'all stop romanticising this just because it's a Japanese thing?? This isn't cool. You won't be mysterious. It's okay to struggle with social situations. It's okay to be afraid of people. It's okay to feel weighed down by the responsibilities of the world. Don't let those things take away your life. Get out and experience the outside world. Move your body and breath in the fresh air. Even if it it just for 15 minutes, just do it.
I'm a shut-in in the USA. I've been this way on and off for 5 years. For me it's part of being in a small town where everyone knows me and expects a lot from me. I was in gifted programs and a "prodigy" but some issues stopped me from achieving that potential everyone say's I'm wasting. I'd rather just stay away from everyone, that and I have moderate agoraphobia that gets worse the longer i stay inside.
Small town expectations are really hard to deal with. Is there any way that you can address those issues? At least to start?
I'm trying to make money on the stock market. I figure that since people consider money to be success if I manage to do well in my endeavor they'll back away. Doesn't get to the bottom of the problem but idk how to fix anything.
+Sammael Quin I'm sorry that you are going through that. IMHO no one backs off no matter what you do, it's about crafting a life you are proud of. Maybe if you're interested in stocks you could take some online finance courses? I did one from the Great Courses when my husband and I started working on our finances that made me feel more comfortable with how I used money.
and whats the definition for people who are obsessed with/enjoy stretching their earlobes ?
diseases like social anxiety (having anxiety when you are in a social situation) is one of the reasons why people isolate themselves and become hikkikomori to a greater or lesser extent ( i believe there are mild cases of hikkikomori too). i myself do not enjoy the company of people in real life, i mostly talk to my friends online. IRL im awkward, its hard to make jokes, its hard to express myself, etc. Also i happen to be chronically ill with a mental illness. all the more reasons to stay indoors.
what people dont understand is that at times you can be really happy as a hikkikomori, it is a lot of fun for example to read your favorite manga chapter after chapter without having to go anywhere or have responsabilities, or to play a video game with your friends online.
I feel you man, I have no friends in school yet and it's so lame and exhausting :(
When you live in a house and nobody notice you for month or even interessted in your well being, nonody want a true human interraction, social platform is a part of this ruin, what's the point in trying to fake smile around them? liying to yourself. just make thing more painful. Here a poem i really like.
I wanted to know the world that was outside of the well.
So I climbed up numerous of times despite falling down over and over again.
But then I realized it.
The higher and higher I climb, the pain increases when I fall down again.
When my interest in the world outside of the well began to equal the amount of pain,
That was when I finally realized the meaning of the story to Der Froschkönig.
Frederica Bernkastel.
I didn't leave the house for 5 years. 💔 And now I'm trying to get back.. but then I realized that its tough, real tough to get my life fully back especially when the fall is hard and have been over a long period of time. I just keep on trying everyday, it's all I can do.😔
I don't know if this classifies as being a shut-in but, after my parents went through a divorce,my little brother got diagnosed with schizophrenia and my grandmother died all within a relatively short time I had to drop out of college. I've been trying to find a job but I have had no luck, YET. I'm not really a shut-in but for about a month or so I didn't like getting out of bed. I feel really bad for these people stuck in a society that is so stifling.
After high school and a brief stint at college, I found myself in a very strange situation. I had no more education, I was free to wake up whenever I want to and look at the weeks ahead without anxiety. I spent those weeks free of contact with others wich was my hearts desire at the time and those weeks became a year. A year completely dedicated to stagnating in isolation avoiding peers and cutting off ties to the outside world 'till I had none. I developed or at least peaked in severe diagnosed depression and anxiety, without socialisation or the outside my mental development was impaired with fatigue and insomnia.
Anyway to cut my reply short, this was 2 years ago and was terrified of eye contact and socialising with anyone due to trust issues. Since then I did what many were afraid to do and go outside on a weekly basis and even have 2 jobs now.
Though what helped me most was realising I was wasting my life and found something to believe, a goal to be achieved. For me it's a partner, someone I can spend my lonely life with and hopefully the feeling will be mutual.
This is a really shit and all over the place reply, but happy to divulge if anyone is interested.
Yo, I'm definitely interested. Your first paragraph describes my current situation quite well, especially the influx of freedom after college that leads to a year (or two) going by without even realizing it, along with the fatigue and insomnia thing. I feel like there's a ton of stuff I want to do and I have a drive to advance in my life, but the ease of putting that off for one more day seems to be turning into a dangerous cycle that's difficult to change.
But anyway, the point of this reply is that I'm interested in hearing a bit more of the details about your story, if you're willing to share them here. Specifically what you did to break out of that cycle.
I was a shut-in for almost 1 and a half year and can relate to what happens in a hiki's mind. My reason was mainly emotional stress accumulating on me, plus the sudden occurance of tendinitis in my right hand during the third year a dentistry major, so it was very difficult (and painful) to do practical work for all subjects, then i decided to drop off university and shut myself home.
At first, things went smoothly and life seemed good, watching movies,animes, reading books and mangas at leisure, however, after a month or two, things became mundane/boring, so i picked up an online game to spare my "free time" and this game was league of legends.
I played all day long to become better at it and then started doing a thing called "ELO boost" that is play in other players accounts, win games for them and get payed depending on what rank they wanted me to achieve with their account.
It didn't pay very well and i had to play the goddamn game for long periods of time (12 hours or more) so at the end of every month, the payment would be roughly 1200~1500 US$.
After 3 months doing it, i decided that i had to quit due to "overwork" and being stressed with my mother and sister just because.
For some reason, in august of 2014, after i was given birthday's money gift by my grandparents, i decided to learn japanese (i'm an autodidact and have been studying since january 2014) by a proper teacher.
I noticed after so long how degradated my physique was, packed quite a volumous beard and quite a lot of weight as well. Going out was such a refreshing experience, like being born again!
Now, i'm trying to find a job to cover up for the basic needs and want to go back to college and do something (even though i can't decied what the heck i want to become as a professional) while i'm still young (25 af of now).
Since i never worked properly and only fixed computers for friends and college professors during college time and "worked online like a freelancer", i dunno how to approach or how to behave in job interviews, always get nervous or my mind goes blank and i can't express myself properly for those kinda of interactions.
I feel like shit for not being able to do such a simple task as finding a job and have that fear of rejection.
Sorry for this longass venting, but i had to write it somewhere.
I love your channel, unrested and watched a lot of your past videos and other jvlogers so i could find some motivational stuff to help me up with the situation i'm going through.
PS: I live in brazil, so i apologize for any gramatical errors, misuses of expressions or words.
NoFrameHell champion! keep going!
Untested, As a guy who recently left Japan after almost 10 years living there, I can only applaud you for the veracity and quality of content you bring about Japan to youtube. Great job on the Hikkikomori vid. I found it to be more accurate than some documentaries out there
I've been wondering about hikkikomori ever since watching Welcome to the NHK on Netflix about one lol
Great video. I especially like how you are walking around the neighborhood when narrating. Your cinematography is excellent. Keep up the great work.
BTW, thank you for posting these informative videos. As a disabled person, I wonder if I'll ever get to visit Japan. But videos from there, even these "dark" ones are very educational. Again, thank you for taking the time to produce these.
i was an introvert for the most part of my school days and a bit of my employment days... i preferred playing PC games than going out. my room was a mess just like what were shown on this video. i have many friends but 90% of them were online gamers such as myself. i also dont like mingling with family because all we talked about were school grades, how their friends' kids were more successful than i was and how rebellous i was.
one day, my mom got mad and brought down my PC from my bedroom to our living room. she would only allow me to use it there so i was kinda forced to mingle more with my family after that... joining dinner and all.
then my career also changed and it required me to have more of the "outside face", which was very tough... my work now requires a lot of social interaction and i am still learning how to mingle with different types of people. work isnt great but i learn to adjust when needed.
a few years later, i also got back in touch with my highschool bestfriends who were extroverts. they showed me so many beautiful places in an out of the metro --- we went to beaches, so many restaurants, cool places to visit...
fast forward again, i met my now-husband (who is also an introvert) and we've been happily married for 2.5 years. we got a house, a pet dog and im now pregnant too.
i realised that i missed so many beautiful things and events because i chose to shut myself in in the past... so now i am making up for it by spending time with the people i love and the things i value.
I am actually in this situation right now. Been held up in my room for almost a year and I only go outside when I need to. I keep thinking about unecessesary stuff and always have anxiety attacks. I hate my room but I hate society more. I spend my time watching videos from the internet and also reading manga and playing video games. I really hate what I am becoming and I want to progress but I am completly stuck in this position to the point where I am accepting the fact that I could be like this throughout my 20's . I have a massive inferiority complex and watching my friends graduate college isnt really helping, and If things just couldnt get any worse my longtime girlfriend now my ex is getting married. I feel like Im getting left out and the memories of happiness that should have been mine are being stolen from me. I really need help. :(
Those pics of their rooms, they are totally like my room. You build walls around yourself with stuff that is related to what you like. It's sort of like a security blanket. I don't think it's hoarding per se, but it can certainly lead to hoarding. But the initial thing is that you surround yourself with things that are your interests and everything is close at hand...in your tiny space you build a fantasy world of your own liking, to the point where you have no wants beyond those walls. Sometimes you do actually have friends, or at least one friend, but they are usually somewhat similar in nature & understand the situation. Those are the only people ever allowed in.
I am effectively one step away from hikikomori, I leave the house but only to get food and occasionally visit my parents. However I avoid all RL contact, I've almost completely abandoned looking after myself and my home and survive on disability payements for anxiety.
When I was young I lived with my single mother who has bad anxiety issues and distrust of men as a whole. I was raised to be anxious and was treated as untrustworthy and so at school I failed to communicate properly (to the point I had speech therapy) and effectively alienated everyone around me. I lost trust in my mum and inherently lost trust in these people I couldn't interact with.
I withdrawed to the internet and effectively relearnt how to speak with people online, however because that's where my friends were and school taught me nothing, that's where I stayed, and I proceeded to ditch school to internet cafes. This got worse and worse until my mum feigned a breakdown and refused to leave the hospital until social services took me away.
Having lost my home, I completely withdrawn from society that proved itself incompetent and alien and took advantage of the foster carer's lack of legal or physical authority over me to stay hidden with the internet. When school came to a close I was allowed to take an early entrance exam which I passed demonstrating the waste of time the school was, however I wasn't allowed to sit the others from lack of coursework.
Having been in foster care til an adult, I was given access to a cheap rent house and they secured the benefits that allow me to stay disappeared to this day.
With a lack of qualifications to demonstrate my ability, I stay away from a society that looks down on me; life isn't worth grinding against a society that raises fools on pedestals and tramples on the capable. With what I have I can enjoy simple pleasures and avoid the nonsense. Considering all the immense idiocy I've witnessed from the background, I feel okay not being involved in it.
pictures of welcome to the nhk? i first came across this kinda thing when i saw that thought it was good for the awareness of people with less extreme problems like this
The Author of Welcome to the NHK was a hikki and lived off the sales of the Manga. He stopped updating everyone after 2005. I wonder what happened to him?
it also shows how its a problem big enough to reach the media in many forms. the author and artist was very brave to create this amazing piece.
This series is the most interesting thing happening in the j-vlog community. I hope you also do a Bright Side of Japan series.
A Jamaican here.
Before covid I was at work 6 days a week, it is now two years later and it's like I'm still in lock down. I started working from home, lost that job and finally found the courage to go back into a office and I wish I didn't, lost that job not even being a month there. That was 6 months ago and I'm terrified to go back into the world. I sometimes start just to not go into public.
I hate it here, I feel worthless and empty and just don't want to live anymore. I can't function like a regular person.
You are worthy and awesome I hope you climbed out of the slump you are in!
Here's few thoughts that have crossed my mind when being neet, "Why bother, it'll just be another let down", "People are fake, why waste your time with them", "Things are ok now, it won't be worth it to change" and the big one is when not doing anything outside becomes the norm / habit / routine, really hard to rehabilitate yourself back to normal routine after that.
I know no one is going to read this, but it feels good to put this all in to words as a sort of purging.
I'm not going to say I was a hikkikomori. At least not fully. I did go to the local grocery shop once in a while. There's no real defining moment that lead me to that position, but rather a combination of things.
Ever since I hit puberty I struggled with depression and anxiety. I still do to some degree even today, but now I am in control of my emotions more than my emotions being in control of me. However, when I was struggling with it the most, I slowly started withdrawing from people and spending more and more time with my computer. At the time I spent so much time with Counter-Strike 1.6 it is actually sad to think about. I had fun at the moment though, with my clan mates. This made it easier for me, as I didn't have to look at people while talking. They were a screen name with a voice. This messed up my social development and it planted a seed of social anxiety. I didn't understand that at the time, but that seed was just waiting for it's time to bloom.
I kept this up for a few years and then I was introduced to drugs, mainly weed but also occasionally opiates. Poor mental health and drugs is a bad combo. Me and a couple of friends used regularly and became outsiders of the society due to that, which isolated me even further. Then one day, my friends moved away. I had no one to hang out with and use, so I just quit. That lead to all emotions I had bottled up which was pushed aside due to my use came back with full force. That was the moment my social anxiety seed bloomed. At first it wasn't all too bad, being overly nervous going to the store, but this grew more and more as time went on. It came to a point where I couldn't even speak with my father without me being flooded by anxiety, shaking, sweating, struggling to form words and sentences. I had no idea that this was actually an illness or anything, I just thought that it was a part of my personality and I was doomed to live with this fear for the rest of my life. As you'd probably imagine, this made my depression even worse. At this point I'm basically a hikkikomori, just that my mother FORCED me to go to the store every once in a while. Besides those few moments I was practically glued to my computer. The social anxiety was so bad I couldn't even write messages on forums or message boards as the anxiety ate me up from inside. My internal monologue at that point was that someone could read my message, realize it was me and laugh at me. Completely insane thought process, but it didn't stop me from believing it.
It all came to a melting point one day. I thought, I'm going to give this one good try and if it all fails, I'm ending my life. So I took my phone and emailed my local doctors office, explaining how I felt and how it has come to the point where ending my life is a very real option at this point. A few minutes later they replied to my email, asking for my phone number as they wanted to speak to me. I gave them my number and they called me right up. They wanted me to go to the emergency psychiatric unit at the hospital and wanted to have some guarantee that I'll actually go there - because if I didn't - they'd send the police to take me there. I told my mom, showed her my email to the doctors office and off we went. When we arrived at the psych unit my doctors office called me again to see if I went there and they wanted to speak to my mother, which they did. After a bit of waiting I was brought in to a room with a doctor and I told him everything, every single thing. I ended up being admitted to a psych unit where I was going to stay until the meds I was prescribed had balanced me out and with daily sessions with a psychologist. After I was released from the unit to go home, I still had therapy sessions with my psychologist once every two weeks. We set up a rough plan of how to get me back in to society, and I really stuck to what we agreed upon. Slowly over the next two years I got better and better. A while later I decided to go back to school and get my grades up so I could get in to higher education in order to have a career of some sort. Now, here I am, the last year of studying my higher education program in IT in another city than I grew up in. I have come very far in this relatively short time. I do still struggle from time to time with my mental health, but it is not eating me up any more. I can now notice when I'm on my way down and prepare to ride it out and deal with it in a better way. It has now been 6 years since I emailed my doctors office. I'm glad I got help, beacuse if I didn't I would've been in a box underground by now. Now I have a chance to experience the beauty of the world, in friendships, in love. Even though I sometimes have a hard time seeing the beauty, I now know that it actually is there which is a comforting thought in those dark moments. I don't know if I'll ever be free from these dark moments, although I wish I could be free from them. Only time will tell, and I'm here to see what time tells.
Very brave to come out with this. There are those of us here to listen to care and to hope everyone who has felt like yourself get heard even if it’s just listen and recognition of the struggles you’ve fought and the fact that a lot more attention to the emotional needs of our fellow human can maybe just give them a little more light in their day. If just only just a pinch every tiny bit counts.
@@unrested Thank you! It means a lot to hear that!
What happens when you're fed up of the bullshit surrounding this society, the status quo that trails with it that bugs you to follow along like a zombie/slave and the current political systems working around the world (that occurs not just in government but even the workplace)? That's another reason to become a hikkikomori. Heck, I'd be a hikkikomori for those reasons.
There's plenty of reasons-and society, AGAIN, judges what they don't fully understand and generalize the whole thing, making it like another disorder or disease. I'm sure some of these hikkikomoris don't see it that way and are quite happy and content with their current status. If they've come to a realization, or a concerned loved one's worried for their welfare-as some may not be self-sufficient, then let the intervention happen and seek help.
Those example images though... that's really nasty.
Finally a RUclips gem.
This video will be legandary.
I really like and enjoy your videos cause they have interesting topics, you talk and explain in a very interesting and thoughtful way and your videos are also visual nice to watch with all the animes that not only fits to the topic but also perfects the things that you mention.
Thank you.
Wow, your video's are becoming far more than J-Blog's. I've watched a lot of J-Blogs, but no one is as concise and relevant as you,.You definitely have a full length documentary in you.
+vga mob maybe one day...hmm. yeah one day i think...thanks for the inspiring words!
+unrested Dude congrats on 34K!
+unrested I've been researching this topic for some time now, and I think I understand the cause, and possibly the solution to the hikikomori epidemic. To the western world, it looks as if depression is causing these people to withdraw into their own homes and not come out. But that's not the case. What's causing them to become reclusive is the pressure of societal expectations, and while these people may become depressed because of being so withdrawn, solving their depression will not solve the hikikomori issue. It seems so strange to us westerners because our society is not nearly as pressuring as Japanese society, and until we understand that, we will not be able to understand or even help to solve this problem.
I honestly believe the solution to this epidemic is to get these people to a low pressure environment. They need to know that there is another place they can go to where they will not be pressured OTHER than home, and they can go there to make friends and find work. They need to be able to find work, or training, through low pressure means. I think if these people moved to America, for example, and tried to live life here, they wouldn't feel nearly as pressured and would probably not be so reclusive because our society is not nearly as expecting as theirs. That gives us a unique opportunity to help these people if somehow we can help them get to an environment with a lot less pressure from expectations on them.
But to ultimately solve this issue, Japan needs to make safe houses, or even entire sections of cities "safe zones" where they will not be pressured by the usual business of Japanese society, something that looks and works a lot more like western society, particularly America society, where they have more freedom to choose what they want to do with their life and the career they want to train for instead of being pressured into the career already chosen for them from a very early age that they can not change. They might even want to learn how to speak English this way and that will increase their job prospects.
Unrest, you have a unique opportunity to help these people being from America. If you can get these people to America and integrate them into American society, I think that will be miles of help for them. If not, then if you can create the safe zones they need, even get the Japanese government involved, to allow them more freedom, to lift the pressure off of them, I think it will work wonders. Because remember, these people are withdrawing in their homes because of "pressure" from society. They feel less pressure at home and that's why they withdraw to their homes. If they could feel as non-pressured in society as they do at home, I don't think there would even be any hikikomoris to begin with. I hope this helps.
+nazra7 you have thought it theough and i think you are of ghe same mindset i am...here is our problem..change in japan is incredibly slow. and the people who can change minds are rarely gaijin. cause quite frankly we are seen as outsiders to the problem. which is legit. i mean i dont know about you but i didnt grow up as a young boy here somthere are many facets we are missing. nonetheless i plan on starting first by working at a suicide hotline that just opened here in osaka. once i have more experience in assets that can assist japanese and gaijin in japan struggling with mental illness, rough life situations and more i plan on spending as putting as much time and money that i can into helping as many as i can. i see no other reason why we exist other than to pick each other up
unrested You're a good man.
Scott, I just wanted to say what a superb job you've done here. I'm reclusive by nature though I do go out and about. I think I'm just selective about people. Still, this is an enormous problem there. Would it take an actual change in societal thinking along to the lines toward 'well, we're all different'? That would be huge. Best of luck and if anyone reading is in this life...I wish you all the best.
I like and apreciate your vision as someone who has had bouts of being Hikkikomori. Mine stem from mental conditions and just coping mechanisms developed from past stresses and trauma. I'm better these days but I can still relate to the words spoke.
To all those who are suffering in silence, I just want you to know that you are special and that you matter. I hope the pain and agony you have endured only makes you stronger and leads you to a happier life.
I know it truly is a cliche saying, however, just keep going. It is going to get better.
A person who wanted die who know realizes how beautiful life can be.
Im 19 and ive become more and more reclusive over the past year. I live in a country where I can claim welfare payments and live in a "council flat". I live alone and I dont usually leave the house unless its to buy food, and I usually wait until its night time to do that when there are less people and about. I feel so much self loathing and yet I cant go out and face the world. "When you suck at everything in life, its easier to just shut yourself into your room."
I know this is an old video and I'm crazy late at responding to this but I have fairly reclusive phases. I'm nowhere near as extreme as the hikikomori but I can easily go weeks without leaving my house. I suffer from depression and anxiety and on my bad days I will leave my room as little as possible. Going to the bathroom and getting food and water are the only reasons and sometimes if there are other people in the house I will just wait until they are either out or in their own rooms so there's no possibility for interaction. There's just something comforting about knowing you don't have to see or talk to anyone or have them see you. It could be due to social pressures or fearing others judgements or simply from just enjoying the emptiness of it. I was also a pretty depressed teen (I'm 27 now) and I was angry for various reasons at society, differences in socio-economic status, bullying, family life etc. And some of it stuck. I've seen a lot of the negative side of humanity and not much of the positives so I've grown up to be quite pessimistic and sometimes I just don't wanna see any more of it so I stay at home. I've lived on instant meals for a week, like instant noodles etc just because I don't want to go out and be around people. But I have health issues so I can't do that too long otherwise I get really sick so at that point I have to go shopping. So I have a rational limit as to how long I will live like that for but to an extent I understand why the hikikomori can end up that way.
The things that help me out of those phases are when I think about my goals. Like visiting Japan and living in Japan etc So when I watch videos like yours and many other Jvloggers it motivates me to keep going because I do have goals, ambitions and hopes for my future and sometimes I just need reminding about them and it snaps me out of it. Currently I'm studying a psychology degree so knowing I have lectures to attend every week, studying something I love that will open up the possibilities to help people like me also gives me more motivation to get out and do it and not give in to me reclusive tendencies. Other times it can simply be a close friend showing concern and inviting me to do something but something that shows their consideration for my state of mind. Like dinner or a day or two of gaming at their house with no other people there, things like that really help and make a huge difference. It has to be done gradually and with respect, being aggressive about it just forces people to withdraw even further. This is something I will no doubt look into further since social and behavioural psychology are my specialities. One of my possible end game plans is to work as a school counsellor or something similar in Japan so if I achieve that goal it's things like kids being bullied and the hikikomori are what I would get involved in.
Thanks for posting this video about such an interesting and rarely covered topic.
+Triple J: Jinkx's Journey to Japan Keep going!!! :)
Richard Freeland thank you very much! I most certainly will!
It just came out in 2015......so it's not old.
For me, it is mainly the fear of being a failure, whilst having felt the immense rejection that came with it when I did fail, and still am failing. And since I am already still a failure, I might as well get out of everyone's way who are striving and functioning so much better than myself.
Please don't look at me, please don't judge, please don't let the rest of my tiny self be broken more.
I would rather hide away than be confronted by the disapointing stares and the anger of those who think I am living a glorious life without having to work. It is not that... It is not.
I am breathing in death every second in this small apartment of garbage including myself.
I want to disappear in the dark, quiet hours of the nights of which I am only awake and rather not see the sun mocking my worthless existance.
I ponder and wonder why I wake up everyday to this useless waste of human that carries no purpose, but only wastes money and space.
I started writing a suggestion when you asked what we would do, and as I was, you took the words out of my ...keyboard (ba-dum-tss). I would try to organise a forum where people could discuss exactly what you said: what keeps them inside, what do they feel.
I think that will get people to slowly warm up and who knows, (fast forward) eventually a meeting? Where people would get together and talk about it hence slowly warming up to outside world. Then start a program for them which would help find jobs even if it is as simple as putting cars together.
AmounRah Yes and then the other problem is that men in particular usually dont know how to talk about feelings.
One of my friends would stay in her room for months, like I did see her for a long time until she got some psychiatric help. She had pretty severe clinical depression but she is doing way better right now. When she told me about it later she said she wanted to die but she also didn't want to commit suicide and trying to live day to day feeling like that was the worst time in her life.
The only relation I have with Hikkikomari is the fact that I stay in my room the whole time. Outside the room it feels weird and the only people I feel comfortable with is my parents and close friends but that thing being with comfortable with close friends and family should be normal. Outside the house I feel like I'm being judged somehow which makes me shy when I see people, around friends (not close friends) it feels as if I don't exist so I tend to ditch them if I were to meet up with them and go home. My parents have high expectations but they will support me in every single way and only want me to have a good future which is good since there isn't as much stressed placed upon me, but in order to do that I have to do good in tests which is normally easy without revising. The only stressful part of being an adolescent is the GCSE.
Edit: Mind you my parents are Filipino and both were really poor and worked their way up to be nurses in the UK. That's the reason why my parents have high expectations but will support me to ensure I will get a good life.
Filipino American here. I feel similar.
I think much of the problem stems from shrinking family structures. I don't know if you have other relatives there in the UK, but besides my close family, all my relatives are in the Philippines. Filipinos place so much importance on familial ties, as do many cultures. And despite the growing connectivity of the internet, I find that modern society somehow makes it harder and harder to preserve that way of life, ironically enough.
Larger families aren't just an emotional and financial safety net. It also allows you to better socially develop and build your own identity from a young age, outside of the foreign, unending troubles of society. Personally, I think the abundance of roles models would be particularly beneficial in cases where a parent is absent or deceased.
3Dkomori I'm the only branch in my family that lives in the UK as of now but apparently we have some relatives that are coming to work here.
Hikikomori : when you suck everything in life, just retreat to your bedroom and never come out
This was a really good video! You've obviously given this an impressive amount of thought!
i think many countries have this, your teaching experience is a great example of how culture/tradition refuses bugfixes and won't allow renewal, new ideas, improvement, we need to change our ways, but we won't allow it.
i'm hikikomori too !
+unrested This is a very interesting video mate, you speak very well and have done a lot of research on the subject. I myself was kind of a Hikkikomori as a teenager, more of a NEET (I still kept close contact with my family and a few friends, but I rarely left the house for almost 5 years). Even though I wasn't working while I was staying indoors all the time, I was putting my time to fairly good use, I taught myself a foreign language (Korean) and I learned to play the guitar. If I didn't have so much alone time to myself I doubt I would have these skills today. Eventually I found my way out of this socially-crippling lifestyle and nowadays I'm quite happy with a job and a great girlfriend. Though, sometimes I think back on those days and feel sad for my father, he worked from 7am-6pm 5 days per week to feed us(it was just the two of us) and I regret not working at least the weekends to help pay my share of the bills. He gave me everything I needed and never called me a loser or a weirdo. Unconditional love!! Your dream of creating some kind of organisation to help deal with this problem in Japan is very admirable, and I think you can help a lot of people. There is so much potential in people and I think the work you want to do will bring this out of them. My personal dream is to help North Korean defectors learn English and help them integrate into their new society. I want to learn as much as I can about them and their upbringing in the DPRK and write a book about my findings. My Korean is not native by any means but I can still have a conversation, hopefully nothing gets lost in translation! I hope both of our dreams come true :) Good luck with everything mate!
I have lived as a shut in myself. Throughout the experience I had the craving to be alone with my thoughts and be free of the static buzz of outside influence. Computer, TV, other people, they were all "blocking the signal" and I became depressed. What was the key was to unplug. Be meditative. Be alone with your own mind. After a short while I found answers to the questions that evaded me while I was plugged in to all my distractions, and I was ready to face other people
isn´t only in japan....is all over the world!!! i´m from argentina and i had to pass for a lot of painful experiences like take a lot of medication, social assistence, psychiatric hospitals, etc, because in my country we don´t use the simply term hikikomori or n.e.e.t., we use personality disfunction or depression or wathever, so, here, the medical and psycological comunity isn´t familiar with that and is terribly for those who are in this kind of situation...
Here in the UK, I have to work for my living and most of my family are extremely emotionally abusive and I have few friends, who aren't really interested in having anything to do with me, so I stand on my own two feet for the most part, but I think the real issue is that I've learned to get a lot of comfort out of my complete seclusion that I'm trying to constantly evaluate what the better deal is, without raising any expectations: social or reclusive?
The reason I don't go out is because people expect others to conform and I just find it extremely depressing to put energy into something that I don't feel I get anything out of, and then a resentment to whoever expects me to conform to certain behaviours and a very real possibility of lashing out and causing more harm than there was to begin with.
This is the first time i have ever learned of something that comes close to my own condition...for myself to try and explain in words is very sub-par to how it feels...the best i can do is try to explain keystone "points" in my life that have lead me to my isolation...to begin my mother was killed by a drunk driver before i was 2 years old...with so much grief and anger growing up my fathers partner could not handle the situation and was given a choice between his new family and me...-// i have never meet my real mothers side of my family// - i was sent to foster care and was abused....bullied until my teenage years....i found out my mother had a house she owned and also found out my grandparents had sold it and made a trustfund for me ....as i got older i found out that my step mother /father and my grandparents were stealing part of this... it was changed to a different law firm then i found out the new law firm also stole from this....by the time i actually got it at age 18 i did not want any of it - it felt tainted..like vultures were picking at my last material memory of my mother some how....that's when i broke i guess ....i looked at people,family ,money ,systems culture,religion everything and denied it all...at age 30 i have lived the better part of 10 years in my room with very little social interaction....for me i feel that it is the only "thing" i have some sense of control over....where the systems/ rules of man do not apply to my simple existence. thank you Unrested for even helping me to learn of others trapped within there own thoughts...from a loner/hermit/hikikomori in New Zealand.
I love your videos because I feel like I'm getting more perspective and insight into issues and I would not normally get from the media.
I admire you
you are very intelligent
im not one...as my life does not afford me the ability to stay in and have someone support me for any length of time. but i have lived completely alone 9 years now. with the exception of 6 days a month when my son comes. when he goes on vacation in summer with his father/family, I go 7 weeks without so much as a conversation. I began tracking it in. 2014...the longest ive gone without a knock on my door from an actual peer and not a concerned parent, was 8 months.
Anybody know the title of the 3d animated hikkikomori guy with the long head and glasses?
I'm good at nothing. I am ashamed and I have nowhere to go. So I stayed inside once, twice... and I liked it.
I stayed in my room during the autumn/winter/spring time for two years. A year before that and now I sometimes leave the house to walk the dog, I also spend my time in the living room now. But that's all I can do. I can't go to a doctor, I can't eat out, I can't do anything that includes any human interaction. I'm anxious and I just don't know how to talk to people!
I tried forcing myself, so I moved to my family's summer cabin. Well, my parents started bringing me food and water, so I didn't have to leave the cabin, they provided me with everything. And when I cracked up... they took me back home. I did this for three years. Same story every year. I don't know what I'm going to do, there's nobody to help (or stop my parents from "helping").
I just found your channel today and this video was really interesting; it felt like an actual report, you sure know how to talk and keep your audience. I'll be taking a look at your other videos.
i love to be at home all day but the bad thing at this fantastic livestyle is not having friends...im just invincible :/
I'm 26, almost 27. I live in the US. I work a Monday to Friday, 8-5 job and I feel that, though I may not exactly fit the description of a Hikkikomori, I have been slowly (But surely) withdrawing from a lot of things that would constitute a healthy lifestyle.
I go to work, then I come home, typically staying up until 2-3AM and waking up only a few hours later to go to work, work then come straight home. The only detours I usually make are to the grocery store to acquire necessities. I live alone, in a small apartment but I feel that if I was well off enough to not need to - I would quite possibly spend as much time as possible, at home.
I feel like I'm probably struggling with some form of depression and should probably seek professional help but the time and money required just feels like it would be beyond what your average blue collar worker could afford.
I can't really describe what's been causing to me to withdraw so much. I know that the life around me is vibrant and beautiful but, from my own eyes when looking introspectively at myself, feels like everything is gray and bland and listless.
I mean, I'm typing this comment at 2AM in the morning...
Great video. In my opinion the rise in political correctness,sjw, and feminism could be a major cause to this. Men are treated like dirt in this (western at least) culture.
Isolation is the option of last resort for an entire gender that is oppressed and hated.
Unfortunately, I can relate to this.
The gif image at 2:27 struck me pretty hard. Your room is your only safe haven and at the same time it an abyss. You wake up in the morning feeling dead and you go to bed late slowly dying again.
Love these video's. Thanks for making them.
puru puru pururin
*dropkicks the wall*