Click for another Jack Stauber Video: ruclips.net/video/LxfwwsUNPxU/видео.htmlsi=kXooxh_dEQyxH11w The Opal video was originally blocked by Turner, meaning I couldn't even upload it. Managed to get it watchable but not monetized (not monetized by me. Might still have ads but Turner is paid for them) Glad I was able to get this one out though :) www.patreon.com/everydaytheorist
@@magbywithrequiem7344 turner is the parent company that owns adult swim. From what Ive researched at least. Since adult swim made this, they blocked it. But i appealed and got it overturned to Not Blocked. But no money is given to me if they play ads on it
A point of confusion that's explained in the official synopsis is that the "heavenly music" Opal hears from the top window is actually the sound of someone's crying, and she feels lured by it and decides to brave the house to see who could be in need of help, just to realize it's herself, and that she has nobody.
Omg ..... I now know why I had imaginary friend and even prayed to God to make my imaginary friend to become real. By the the I started growing I became so different to other people that Ok couldn't socialise properly with other people .
this short film was so upsetting genuinely. the drunk mom character hit home so hard. the way she’s self aware and “feels bad” yet continues to traumatize the child with her drunk rants. tooooo real
Way too real. I’m glad my dad has been sober now since 2020. I’m 24 now. For 21 years of my life I had to deal with my drunken father who knew he shouldn’t drink but he still did. Even after the multiple hospital visits for his drinking didnt have an affect on him. It took him crashing into a house and the possibility of jail time that made him quit. He’s so selfish for that. I still love him though, he’s not a bad man. I wish he never drank. I wish he took me fishing whenever I asked him when I was a kid. I have hundreds of fishing outings by myself but only a few with my dad
yeah same, my dad has been sober for a little over a year but it took a severe toll on my mental health. he wasn’t abusive physically, but very mentally draining and some instances could be cruel. i love my dad don’t get me wrong…but it’s just something i can’t forget. it’s why i don’t drink or even like alcohol, ppl think i’m a prude ‘cause of that but those who live in a bubble wouldn’t get it
Emotional neglect is so awful. I bet a lot of victims don't even realize they have been neglected until they crash later in life and are forced to search for answers. Art like this is strangely healing, in that it makes one empathize with the child. If you have not been shown enough empathy as a child, learning to empathize with your child self can open up all that unacknowledged grief.
Sometimes i just question the way in which I do things and why I do them that way, is it convenient? Am I hurting anyone? Ect your behaviour can tell you so much if you choose to look at it from a different perspective. For instance I grew up being admonished everytime I make a mistake in anything literally, and alot of the times belittled by my mother and other adults. Naturally I became more MIA and I fear others judgements of myself. @@adm69420
I also found that the dad saying “That’s my girl” directly points to the fact that her real father doesn’t acknowledge her as he is too caught up in himself. I can’t really figure out what “there she is” might mean for her mother though.
@@Hm-ek6ve I think it might also be the imaginary mother allowing her to be independent and achieve something, actually caring of the growth of her own child instead of using Opal/ Claire to be emotional support and depending on Opal to share her own emotional turmoil which she tries drowning out with escapism (bad romance novels that glorifies abuse which is seen at the intro where wine was spilled on a book, incredibly unhealthy consumption achohol and pills). Her mother also says that Opal/ Claire is also helpless like her.
Maybe that response of the mother is to intimate the opposite image of ownership or usage as she does in real life. So she says, “there She is” as in her own person, also not as an object/the pill image. So her mothers response in the fantasy is that she is humanized by her mother. That hits hard for me, I’m my mothers second son, she gave the first up for adoption. They found each other after 40 years and I now know why my life has been a living hell. I was depersonalized into a tool with which my mom kept my dad around, he kept telling her he didn’t want to get into a relationship. . . But here we are, 35 years or so later and I have super debilitating paranoid schizophrenia and I live with my dad who left my abusive mother. She lives alone now for the first time in her life. I won’t speak with her or see her ever again, but sometimes I hear her voice on the phone( when someone else is on the phone with her) and I’ll cry for hours. I wish she would just apologize for one thing, any thing. I wish she would read my poetry, it’s the only thing I’m good at, most of my 1,500 poems are about mothers or moms and she hasn’t read or listened to a single one. She heard me reading to myself one poem that I wrote about God and she muttered to herself, “He will be the only one of us that will be remembered.” But that wasn’t praise, it was spoken to no one. . . It was hatred and jealousy. This is probably the only poem of mine my mother has ever heard/seen PERSONA, THE MASK December 20, 2019 2:03am The pen becomes unbearably heavy Once the word it presses upon is known The dot becomes eyes Crosses itself becomes trees The heart is the center Of all things that flow Rivers of passion Songs of many birds Walks along the ocean Even mountains stir emotion Hills and valleys Take me up and away In nooks and crannies Motes gather and play All the way up in Heaven To beneath the turtles shell The pen and the word takes me Footsteps always lonely Though someone was here before Pulled a sword from a stone Carved many scenes from living fabric The weft and weave of reality The point and to wield it The focus of a thought not my own To be worthy of the company it brings For how long who knows It was and always has been Impressed by us in dust and dirt On paper and in songs In sermons and lectures Landscapes and portraits The many faces of God
Well, I'll be dambed. I was rather comfortable before being jarred into flashbacks of memories I had forgotten for years. Guess I'll eat cheese in the dark now.
And this country (America) tries to keep it that way. No education on how to raise children No choice in having the child or not Little support in taking care of children Expenses of even having a child are ridiculous Less funding for orphanages Foster children returned then being "put back on the market" online It's scary how we allow this to happen and point fingers at the parents when the real problem is the system we live in.
@dzthfbn cbvm Even before that, there's no sex education. In middle school and high school, the only sex education I got was about STDs and abstinence. This is in New York, which ranks 20th in education (according to USNews). Imagine the education people in Alabama, Missouri, and New Mexico, which ranks in the bottom in education got.
@@MakeSureYouCleanUp in fact, nobody wants to be the villain, humanity is just a marionette of what's controlling it, happiness, sadness or even madness, induced by what's taking over us at the certain moment, having a low wage and having to grow up your child with all your efforts is probably very stressful and you're going to have to stand this for years, it can be quite nice for someone but most people will not have it easy
I spent most of my childhood and adolescence in my bedroom because it was usually the only safe place I had. I still get nightmares of someone trying to get into my room and whenever someone is at the front door I immediately go into fight or flight. I have agoraphobia now and will not go outside unless I absolutely have to.
@@dancingnature This. I remember being punished for the dumbest things. When I was a kid, I nearly got grounded when the Xbox we had gave out just cause it was old. Whenever I got a bad grade, I got punished. Well that didn’t make me perform any better, just made me better at hiding them. I was always burnt out because on top of school, they had me doing Baseball, scouts, karate, piano lessons, and guitar lessons. And when I couldn’t take it anymore and said I needed to drop karate or baseball so I had more time to myself, I was scolded and told “fine, if you want to drop one of those, you’re picking something to replace it.” So that just taught me the only way for my parents to accept me is for me to keep myself so busy that I’m constantly burnt out. And even when I did that, it didn’t help because my performance would be terrible after a month or two of going all out. Which led to more scolding or backhanded comments. And now that I’m grown they wonder why I never have time for them. My dad tried, but you don’t win against my mom. You just do a little better each time. And she’s never said it out loud, but it’s very clear that she would have preferred I been a girl. Edit: that was weird, I’m sorry. Did not mean to just dump my purse out like that on someone I don’t know😅😂
The saddest thing that has pretty much been pointed out is that the big fantasy she has of her family is "We see you, Opal". Not only is that the height of her ambitions, but she doesn't even use her own name, not only can nobody else see her, she can't see herself
@@rat2131Keen. But seemingly the same or at the least a very similar result is presently emerging in society these days. Each cycle of parents over time became more and more neglectful. Public school & TV grew into the ideal baby sitters. Now it's smart phones.
I know a few people who changed their names as adults because of childhood trauma leaving them with bad associations. It can be a way to reclaim yourself as your own person outside of who your parents wanted to see. And I don't think the blame can just be pinned on technology. These adults have a responsibility to their children, to cope with their own trauma instead of placing such impossible expectations and perceptions on a kid. The internet has given many people a new escape, both by learning that their experiences aren't the norm and by finding other people to connect with and build healthy connections to.
So sorry yall u went through that, honestly that’s something I love God for, because he said he would never leave us nor forsake, and is that perfect father we always dreamed of, then the fact that he would give us a way to heaven through Christ, it’s all to good with that relationship hope u guys join the family, but ur amazing and I love yall 💕
@@beab8738 I do agree that abuse has lost a lot of it's meaning due to overuse. Though that's not what abuse used to mean. Most people use the word abuse when they should use mistreatment. When I say abuse, I refer to the actual definition and main types of abuse. Like physical, sexual, emotional, mental, and neglect are the main types of abuse. But neglect is often overlooked and ignored.
He's basically a genius. One guy to make the story, the acting, the visuals, the music, the everything basically. That's a lot of talent in just one guy.
YES I love him, and after I found him on RUclips I found opal and I realized my family is the same but not as dramatic, family- divorced, dad only cares about himself and was definitely damaged by a cheating ex wife, mother always drank and smoked pot, never spent time with her kids, stepdad literally just doesn’t exist in my life he is kinda just there, he knows nothing about me personally, stepmom is a Karen…. Nuf said was always neglected as a kid so I stay away from anything ending in ship 😂, might not sound good but I’m happy and I moved away
@@canobenitez not really,my family isn't perfect too,my mother is one of those types that shouldn't be let to have kids,and i hate it when she act all innocent of all the harm she have done to us,and father is always out of the picture bcos of work...but i guess i do have to be grateful bcos i have the necessities in life,but do I really have to suffer like that?my younger self didn't deserved to suffer like that, nobody does, just for a chance to have a better life. oh well.
Its the fact her immersion is broken at the end, that's the saddest part to me. She has to now face the fact the family she thought she had, doesn't exist.
I always noticed this detail in this short story that everyone seems to overlook. Claire quite literally is trying to mimic Opal’s look, from the hair down to the clothes she wears. It really goes to show how badly Claire needs a better family.
I just realized Claire's hair isn't in pigtails, at least not in hairties or anything. She's wearing her hair down, just adjusted to be more to the sides like Opal's. The only way Claire would be able to do that was if her hair was extremely greasy or wet, which it most likely is since she lives in an abusive household where she probably doesn't have many chances to shower or bathe.
We never see choosing what to wear or how to do her hair. They both also happened to be blonde, I just assumed it was coincidental. Also they had to look similar in order for the audience to make the connection that Claire was Opal, though personally I feel like if Opal was visually different to Claire, it would be more sad because Claire has to distance herself from reality even more to identify as Opal.
the mom is also blonde, the dad has a similar hair, and the grandpa is a bit fat like the real ones, I think it´s not Claire trying to be Opal, but everyone has an opinion
real tragedy of the story thats well over most of your heads due to benefitting from this system, is the fact that its pointing out how eurocentric culture places no value on the well being of people and only prioritizes those willing to abuse and neglect.
One thing i think you missed was that the little girl was drooling at the idea of the burger. If you notice a little bit of drool hits the top of the burger. Which could also point towards your idea of the child being malnourished. Obviously both physically but also psychologically.
perhaps the reason she dances with the burger instead of trying to eat it is because a small part of her sees that its not actually food just the idea of the food.
My mother had four children , I was the youngest one that was neglected. I was molested by my uncle and my cousins when I was young child . If I would say anything I would get threatened by them or get a beating . I believe if my mother did pay attention to me she would of known a difference on my behavior when the molestation was going on. When I turned 18 I felt she was relieved that I left . I'm 45 years old til this day she still doesn't know what happened to me. I am a broken man that lives alone ,I have a problem with anyone touching me i dont trust anyone ,i live in a void . Til this day it never leaves me . I will choose to live alone til the day I die . Please don't neglect your children , every child deserves to be protected and loved.
You poor thing. You deserve company. You deserve to feel safe. Please keep looking for help because you can get better. Your past does not define you and god loves you. ❤
2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. 6 And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. Isaiah 66:10 Rejoice ye with Jerusalem, and be glad with her, all ye that love her: rejoice for joy with her, all ye that mourn for her: 11 That ye may suck, and be satisfied with the breasts of her consolations; that ye may milk out, and be delighted with the abundance of her glory. 12 For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the Gentiles like a flowing stream: then shall ye suck, ye shall be borne upon her sides, and be dandled upon her knees. 13 As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem. 14 And when ye see this, your heart shall rejoice, and your bones shall flourish like an herb: and the hand of the LORD shall be known toward his servants, and his indignation toward his enemies. 15 For, behold, the LORD will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire. 16 For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many. KJV The new versions are perversions. God knows your pain. Seek His help. May The grace and peace of God, The Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
Umm, instead of quoting half of Bible, I will just wish you all the best. Please take care. And one thing to remember - you deserve to be happy too. I'm just telling you that because I met somebody who was feeling just as empty as you and he told me he would gladly just die. He thought he didn't deserve anything good and that he was a nobody. To this day I sometimes have to remind him that he is important. I don't know you, but look, you are important and you deserve good in your life too.
Seeing Claire daydream about a different family hit really close to my heart. When I was little I would watch Annie and pray that one day I would be saved like she had been
Oof, dreaming of being an orphan and finding a new place to live... I had that, too. Additionally, all my favorite books were about kids who survived some sort of calamity and suddenly had to survive on their own, outside of civilization and society. And I had absolutely no further thoughts on this pattern at the time.
The scariest part about growing up like this is when you have your own child and realize how hard it’s going to be to make sure you don’t pass down your trauma and how seeming easy it was for your loved ones to neglect you
I'm on the curb on thinking my goal is to have a kid and strive for a healthy family, but *I know* I am not ready for this emotionally yet It pains me knowing my father set me down this path and still cannot admit anything
@@jakespencer6781My mother recently admitted to neglecting me, my dad was always at work. I don’t blame my parents because they lost two children before I was born (one a terrible tragedy and one a full term stillborn). They were not ready for me and I was passed along to anyone who would take me while they busied themselves with anything to take away their pain. I had children and vowed to be there for them, only working part time jobs when they were in school. I’m not a perfect parent and made some regrettable mistakes along the way, but they’ve grown into happy, functional and well adjusted adults. My boys tell me that I did a good job and that’s why they’re the way they are. They’re confident in themselves too 😂 Don’t be discouraged about having kids for fear of doing what your parents did. Yes kids are hard work at times but are also unique and amazing individuals You can break the cycle!
That's why I refuse to have kids. I grew up being taught that discipline is insults and beatings, and while I know those things to be wrong, I have too much anger and too little patience. I would try my best if I had a kid, but trying isn't enough.
I'd like to push back a bit on that, at least in my own experience, the most crushing thing is when you have your own child and realizing just how easy it is to NOT treat your child like that. If anything, you go through processing grief and anger, denial, all of it, all over again because you realize just how much you love your child and would do anything for their benefit including changing yourself if you have to.... and how your own parents didn't do it. It just makes that pain even more real, again. I grew up in not great circumstances, alcoholic father and emotionally checked out mother... I went through a lot I won't get into, but once I became an adult I went through the therapy and put in the work for myself and I met a great guy. He was so great, that he made me start thinking about what a family would look like. As terrified as I was to repeat anything I have ever gone through, I wanted a family and love so badly... I jumped. Got married, got pregnant, and the very second my child was placed in my arms I was reborn as well. I had a strength and fire I never knew, and with that came a reality I had never known.... and that hurt so badly. I waited all my life to have this and here it is, except I am the mother, not the child, the role I play is different... but my god is it amazing. I have healed in so many ways since her birth, and I have grown, and my lifes purpose now is to ensure that my child has everything I never had emotionally. I make sure I continue to put in the work on myself, to keep checking to make sure I'm doing better, to always be humble enough to know I can do better always.... and my child is so unbelievably loved and happy. She'll never know the life I had, and I did that, and I'm so very proud of myself and happy I have this life I always wanted. If there is anything I could tell you as someone that came out on the other side is, its totally 100% possible if you put in the work to heal yourself and you find a good, healthy, moral partner to do it with. Never be afraid. :)
She even has the billboards lights reflect in her eyes in the beginning of the film. A small detail that I think adds so much more to the delusion Clair lives in and the horrific reality of her life.
I also noticed that at the start when you see the imaginary dad, he has the same expression as the billboard, but then snaps to life, and clairs expression is the one she was making in her room
Another side of child neglect: I was 12 and I didn't know how to use a knife and fork, how to tie my shoes or my own hair, how to wash my clothes or cutlery, nor how to prepare any food or drink for myself. I still even drank from baby cups and a baby bottle because i had never taught to transition out of it. I learnt everything from periods of public humiliation and observing others the few hours I was allowed to be outside. My school friends were crucial for me to learn common language, basic problem-solving skills and the overall behaviour a person my age should have. As an adult, I still feel stunted and behind from everyone else
Omg, that hurts to read. It took til 16 to learn how to brush my teeth from a friend teaching me. I also feel stunted, still admiring toys and bad hygiene, I only hope to improve.
@@randomstranger8938there’s nothing wrong with liking toys! why do you think adults collect them? you should focus on your hygiene, though. it’s as easy as taking a quick shower, using some deodorant, and brushing your teeth in the morning and night. ❤❤❤
i’m so sorry you had to go through that, i hope everything gets better for you and i’m so proud of you for learning even the small things. you have a bright future ahead of you, don’t let anyone ever make you think otherwise
Not sure if you were implying this but I'm gonna add my two cents anyways. I think this is meant to symbolize stress building up as she makes her way through her house. People always say wrinkles can be caused by stress so it would make sense. When she loses the wrinkles when shes back with her imaginary family it makes sense with that explanation of the wrinkles, that imaginary family being her way to cope with the stress.
@@weilyonTOPon that same train of thought I made a quick stop to the idea that childhood trauma especially neglect forces us to grow up too soon so the wrinkles can also show the metaphorical aging she’s going through just by being in the house
@@weilyonTOP It could also represent how Claire sees both of the families. With the IMAGINARY family, they care for her in the way she wants her real family to. They don't have issues to project onto her, they actively acknowledge her- They're smoothed out because they're what a perfect family looks like to her (which is also backed up by her using the name 'Opal' and imagining what they look like from the billboard). Versus her REAL family, which we can see is in utter turmoil and neglectful towards her, only asking for attention from her and never genuinely giving it back. Their wrinkles represent their flaws.
great video! i always interpreted the line “your troubles are miles away” as literal, i.e. claire’s troubles are literally miles away from the burger shop from the perspective of the billboard family also a neat detail is whenever claire is in the fantasy house her eyes are reflecting the lights from the billboard
you are absolutely right! i forgot to mention that detail about the lights in the billboard. i wanted to talk about that but it must've slipped my mind during the script process. also the troubles are miles away is definitely about her problems being miles away. super cool detail! this short is so awesome :)
@@theorist This reccomended video just, feels personally targeted-abusive Narcissistic mother. wish wed talk here about accountability/mental illness next thats what im trying to crack how its a thing for certain ''ill'' people to be fine but others become jerks--its in part their own fault but to what extent and when? At what point is someone just a bad person/
I interpreted it as also being that her troubles might be isolation from people who could love and help her- the billboard hinting the distance from the burger joint in the corner would mean that she's always reminded of the distance between her and her image of an ideal life- her troubles are "Miles Away", the horrible little footnote that tells her how alone she is with the monsters she has to call family.
The “we see you opal” line hit me hard, as a child I felt invisible, just wanted to be seen by my family. So hearing her fantasy family say “we see you” really struck a cord. Very relatable indeed, childhood neglect really leaves a mark.
I felt that way for the majority of my childhood. Not only invisible to my family, but everyone around me except for a few select people. I’m still learning how to cope with feeling seen and ‘existing’ to the people around me because it’s still all so new to me. I really hope you’re in a better place now. You are seen and heard.
Yeah that part made me cry... My basic needs were taken care of growing up but the emotional neglect still makes me think people only pay attention to me as long as I'm giving them something they want. And I'm hyperindependent now because you can help them but they won't help you. Even when that's not the case, it's still hard to shake the feeling that it is.
The majority of my childhood was really similar. I had a mother who was a drug addict and only talked to me when she needed something. She never cared about when I was hurting. I did have a lot of support from my dad, and he helped me any way he could, but that neglect from my mom still leaves me seeking love and affection from her to this day now that I've been out of her house for a few years now.
oh same-im gonna go cry after things when i read these types of comments i think 'are you sure was it that deep' yeah it was---we can all use dedicated time to cry ig
You know, when i was 12 i felt so old i had a narcisstic parent and i was counting the days to when id be to old to run away to foster care--and how the older i was the less likely id be to be adopted-age was a value when you didnt have security, it meant the abuser had more responsibility for you-less they could legally abuse you without pinning it on you or spinning it that youre a 'teenager'
The fact that the fake family is not saying things like we love you opal, or we care about you, there just saying that they see her, it gives me goosebumps sometimes.
Sometimes being told that you’re seen is a comforting thing, like they recognize what you’re going through and your not alone. But in this case it’s just Claire’s mind begging for the bare minimum of positive affection
the way claire tiptoed in her own house and her visible terror at any interactions with her family hit way too close to home. i physically flinched when she stepped on the chip bag.
The final part with the song "It's alright" really gave me a sinking feeling to my stomach. I'm lucky I live in a sane household, but on an artistic level it really feels like a final thought from you and Claire, repeating to yourself that everything is fine, while the trauma, the demons of your life keep on screaming, or your inner self is the one screaming. Great choice in detail and execution on the ending. Keep up the good work!
Glad someone noticed that :) It took me 3 minutes to draw that ending piece. I drew it as if I was a 5 year old just having fun. Happy that I was able to get that across with just music and visuals
Did you feel fear did you feel a real form a pain through it be that mental or physical did you feel ugly inside, unwanted, maybe like you belong no where maybe you wished you were somewhere else maybe you felt like you shouldn’t be on this plant I’m not trying to attack you I promise I just feel people shouldn’t claim to understand something just because of a video I’m happy you are trying to understand others hardships that’s good but from my perspective it’s invalidating for somebody to say they understand abuse because they watched a video on it and btw I’m not saying you haven’t been abused abuse can show itself in many forms however being abused by your family is very different from say your friends bullying you I guess all I’m saying is this is one of those things that you aren’t gonna understand truly unless you have been through or have been very close to somebody deeply affected by it and even hell I find myself questioning my past and my abuse every single night I guess if you wanna try to understand I can give you guys my side of abuse and how it’s been for me trying to work and be an adult in my later life I already partially explain what emotions you may feel but I’d like to tell you guys what my biggest struggle is and how it effects me every day I can not trust anybody and no it is not the same for you as me I know it’s not I have never told somebody about this and had them relate to everything other than one single person when I say I do not trust I mean I don’t trust your movements I don’t trust what your saying I’m constantly questioning and analyzing trying to figure if you intend to hurt me or others and it wouldn’t just be for you my friends get the same treatment I honestly don’t know how they stay my friends the amount of fights we’ve gotten into because I don’t feel like I can trust a single thing anybody says no matter how close we are I feel invisible to them even when I’m talking to them words can becoming out of my mouth they can be responding but I still do not trust them I do think they are actually there for more it’s difficult to put into words anyways I truly didn’t intend to make anybody feel bad I just wanted to maybe spread some awareness maybe someday I can be close enough and trust somebody enough to tell them what happened to tell them how I feel and to here what they think and feel and truly believe it id also like to say if you know somebody being abuse stay close to them they need you more than you think and a lot of the time in my experience people who have been abused are extremely loyal to those that show they will stick around and not hurt them Anyways cheers thanks for letting me talk I had a tough day so it was kinda nice to talk about this even if it wasn’t with anybody
@@theorist What kind of neglect did you go through? I had a narcissistic parent who had issues with emotional lability, she would be all over the place. Depending on the time i talked with her im either the best son in the world or a disgrace to the human race. She wasn't narcissistic in the traditional sense, shes like the old lady in this video. She wants to be taken care of emotionally while emotionally abusing others from time to time.
Im surprised no one has noticed that in the begining sequences "Opal" has four lights in her eyes, when they go off as she steps out the window, they disappear. Only to come back again as Clair looks out her own window and realizes it's all an illusion. (Most likely symbolizing the billboard.) Just an interesting detail I saw and wanted to share
@@e_i_e_i_bro nope, if they were they would've been on the parents eyes in the begining, and the hallway light are in 1's. Most definitely the billboard
God it's really the little things like not admitting faults. My family wasn't as bad as Claire's but just how they potrayed how alone and afraid Claire felt in her own home. It kinda took me back honestly.
Not feeling safe in your own home harmful in a way I didn't understand. It's insecure attachment, meaning you don't want to leave but you don't feel comfortable where you are. It's like belonging to nowhere.
@@bunnywavyxx9524 Absolutely. I've experienced this to the max. I can testify that when you're an only child, and have a single, narcissistic parent, it scars you for life.
I created fairtale lands in my head as a kid. To the point where it was so obvious to people around me they would mock and laugh at me for being "such an airhead" all the time. Just sit in one spot all day long dreaming of better ways to live. I still do it when things get tough for me, when things are too hard to face. It's my go to response that my brain takes. It worked back then and now I have to fight it in order to get anything done in real life. If I let it take over me I would never leave my bed, I would stay laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling dreaming my life away.
Just something I’d like to add on: a lot of times in neglectful households a child is force to be an adult a lot faster than they’re ready to. they have to make judgement based on what they think is best rather than the adult. You can see this with Clare/Opal and the grandfather when the grandfather says “don’t try to hide my cigarettes again.” And “it’s cruel to try to help someone that doesn’t need help.”
Too true. Some times they are forced to grow up fast but not properly so by the time others catch up they are the "dysfunctional" and under developed ones
The mother saying "Mama needs a little girl to hold up her hair" made me tear a bit. She constantly exposes Claire to her drug use and forces her to clean up her mess mentally and physically.
As someone who has never had to deal with this I, as someone who doesn't cry was almost in tears watching this... I have never been neglected like this, I have been pressured about being the best I can be to the point that I have anxiety but, I have never been neglected to the point that I'm terrified of not having a meal or something along those lines which I thank God for. I've always acted like such a victim but after seeing this I now understand that my life, in reality, has been a cakewalk or close to it. I wish I hadn't acted like a victim for so long. Of course, I knew that child neglect was a thing but I had never truly realized the extent to which child neglect affected the populous. To everyone going through something like this, I may not be able to help very much seeing as this is a YT comment but know that there are people to help and they will help you. My best to everyone
I understand where you are coming from, although I think it's still ok to admit that our problems are not okay and they cause us pain even if it is a lesser degree of pain than some others have experienced. It's still evil even if it is a lesser degree of it than others have experienced and you aren't being spoiled or arrogant when it effects you. For me, my parents aren't alchoholics or physically abusive at all, but I still recognize that the severe childhood psychological and emotional neglect is still a problem and is just as valid for me to treat it as one as it would be for one who has parents who are physically abusive, because it still did effect my mental health negatively, so it isn't okay. Be gentle to yourself and don't be too hard on yourself, just cause it isn't as bad as someone else's doesn't mean you problem isn't an issue and valid to know it as one.
I always used to second guess if my childhood was really THAT bad or if I was just being whiney. What allowed me to move beyond all doubt is that I cannot not cry listening to parenting advice or childhood development content. Hearing that a child should always be safe or things like that just hits so hard. It’s like a big “it’s not your fault”
i was such a sympathetic child i eventually forced myself to be apathetic because everything HURT ;-; now i am emotionless and dont react to anything though i felt something watching this... what is it? :(
@@Bushwhack-lmao_xD I understand what you mean. You were hurt so you decided to close off your sympathy so other people wouldn't walk all over you. That's valid. You were protecting yourself from pain. Do you think what you felt watching this was empathy for the child that suffered like you? Or maybe you had empathy for yourself? Or just reconnecting with the deep feelings of your past suffering? Since you were emotionally rejected, I suggest accepting yourself and begin to talk to yourself like other people should've, with gentleness and dignity and importance to your own thoughts and emotions. Find people that treat you with high importance. You didn't deserve the rejection. You deserve love, my friend. Do good to yourself and be open to the emotions and thoughts you have and take time to recognize and understand them.
@@donteatmecows8265 the opening and the ending song made me feel this weird emotion the rest of it was "wow so cool!" and i know im loved yet i dont feel loved every day i get a good meal, a hug, a pat on the back, affirming words, yet it doesnt feel like love :/
As a victim of child neglect, Claire's terror when her family speaks to her reminds me of the many times when I'd hear my mom's car pulling into the driveway and be stricken with a deep, terrible fear. It reminds me of my sister, when she was younger, telling me that when she would watch tv and see happy families playing with their kids and wondering why that would never happen with her. It reminds me of the days I'd spend sticking my nose into manga and games to go somewhere else - *anywhere* else, to a different world where my problems didn't exist and where I could be a hero. There's so much more... These children are real, and it's tragic.
I can really relate to the terror of hearing a parents car pulling into the driveway. I’m sad that I’m not alone in knowing that feeling, but there’s also comfort in knowing someone understands. Wishing you all the best in life. Glad to read that you’re in a better place. I’m rooting for you.
Seeing the dads actual face just scares me so much. The way he thinks that he’s so much better than everyone else when in reality he just is so terrifying but he convinced himself he wasn’t. Gives me goosebumps… (idk if it’s just me but he looks like the chef from little nightmares😭)
Remind me of my stepdad he think everyone loves him and he is such a great person but everyone runs to get away when he comes around literally dreading that he comes around its sad when u realize our parents are like this from they neglect and trauma but its a cycle literally
i think it’s more just him struggling to convince himself that he’s attractive because of the insecurities he has about his disfigurement, which is pretty realistic. it’s just something that happens when you delve that deep into self loathing, suddenly everything just becomes about you and how other people see you.
14:25 Hey man, I for one am very grateful for the effort you put in ,making this video, at least. I think I recognize your voice. I, we, can relate. I"m sure. you are not alone.
Ugh the mother truly hits me hard. I like how she said “I feel terrible for all of the things I-….I feel terrible….” She almost apologized for her own wrongdoings but caught herself. The mother is a narcissist too refuses to admit she did anything wrong.
It does help highlight that there are two different kinds of narcissism. The grandiose narcissist would be the father, while the mother would fall under the vulnerable narcissist category. Both really only care about themselves but in different ways.
@@lyrica_overdoseshe would still technically be a narcissist. If she truly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong, she is still only thinking about herself and her own struggles, not about how it could have affected Claire in any way. That would still be narcissism, just more vulnerable like the previous person said. I have a parent like that, who is a mix of both grandiose and vulnerable. It’s not really fun.
@@cookieslovecupcakes5844 i think you misunderstood my comment, i meant that the mother is aware of her wrongdoings. sorry if i worded it wrong.. english is not my first language
This is so upsetting. The fact that Claire is forced to live in a fantasy to escape her neglectful family is upsetting enough, but the way every member of her family only came to her for attention. Also, as YourEverydayTheorist said, Claire tiptoes around her house to avoid interacting with her family. I think many people can relate to this, which is why it hits so close to home. Claire’s situation is the reality of a lot of kids, and it’s awful.
Can definitely relate to this. I grew up in a household (looking back now) where I was the family therapist for everyone. I think I was the scapegoat so it’s like you are put down and looked down on yet when people need something they come running to you expecting you to fix their problems/listen to them. You become the emotional dumping ground for everyone (except for my dad who was emotionally distant to everyone). I’m also a very emotional person so that’s probably why I ended up emotionally taking care of everyone. I didn’t even realize this was neglect or how unhealthy my family was until the last few years.
I found out that i was emotionally neglected and when he explained that she daydreamed about having a nice family when looking at the billboard i realized that’s what I’d do. I would just sit there and stare off a lot as a kid (still do) and just imagined myself hanging out with my mom or dad as a family and just overall being happy. I do have a loving boyfriend who has helped with my troubles. And i don’t do it as much, but the fact that my brain still wants to? Especially when I am under any stress is concerning.
The fact that when her perfect family sings all they say is "we see you" and "hi opal" not even a love you. This tells us that opal cant even imagine getting a I love you from her family. Her biggest achievement in life is just to be acknowledged. (EDIT) Not to be that guy but OMG 7.4K LIKES THANK YOU GUYS!
I noticed that in Claire’s dream, when she picks up the burger, she dances. Of course, it’s probably because she doesn’t know that she’s supposed to eat the burger, but I also think it’s because it’s the one thing she can’t do at her house. She can’t dance because it’ll draw negative attention to her and she’ll be abused. She’s not allowed to be a kid and be loud, instead she has to keep quiet and walk on eggshells inside the house. Edit: I have to mention that when she dances, she looks so genuinely happy.
I also believe that the reason she dances with the burger is possibly to imitate the billboard where "opal" dances with the burger or is shown not eating the burger which makes Claire believe that's what burgers are for
Watching this, I just remembered how I was so anxious in going home when I was a kid, cause I had to wait for my dad to come home to see his current mental state. If he had a bad day, we had to be statues. Don’t catch his attention, don’t make a sound, couldn’t even laugh freely. Now, as an almost 22 year old, I realized it manifested in a lot of problems I currently have, and this video made me want to cry
Whoopsie, it just like my father, my father definitely that typical silent violence father who will punish you for every little triggers at his house, i remember we were hiding below the bed just avoid his outburst anger with my mom, and yet my mom, also with her own problems and neglect, only end up debating here, like a narc would do, both of them never care for their own beloved children, children are only disposable tool to make exucses of money and survival, my mom definitely have no skill navigating her adulthood, only end up putting agenda to me and my siblings, that every thing outside the house are bad, she's brainwashed me into ever believing people outside
Like those Narcissist who really afraid losing her supply, that's how my mom cope in adult hood, around 40 years moving into new city, and she never make anyfriends, racist, hate people, being negative and entitled, isolates me from any outside activity when I'm on my schooldays before, as a child i don't really understand this until it makes problem into me on my 30s..... Double mask, Narcissist are so good on this one
Dude, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can relate, only with my mom's ex-husband. They were married all throughout my middle school and high school years. I could feel my stomach turn every time I saw his truck come up the driveway, because of the exact reasons you described. Did he have a good day? Did one of his employees cause the family business a lot of grief or money? I would go to my room, put my headphones in, and not make myself known. That is so hard on a child, let alone a teen. :( I hope you get some relief and it was never your fault.
Holy shit this made me have a near spiritual realization on why I am who I am. It's not my fault, it's not my mother's fault, it's not my brother's fault, it's my absolute dumpsterfire of a "father figure"s fault. Im 2000000000000% sure that it was a good idea to completely cut him off. To anyone who is going through the same who is reading this, just know that they will be judged one day, And God may not be so merciful on their behalf.
The scene with the mom is so genuinely terrifying as she feels so real to how actual addicts behave. How she goes from calling Claire a “Good thing” to seemingly trying to hit her at the end. It’s just so brutal. Special Highlight to the line. “You and I don’t live Claire. We survive”. Feels like something an actual abuse addict would say.
Agreed, also I want to add that the line of 'you and I don't live Claire, we survive' for me personally shows/hints at how the mother is using her (maybe indirectly, passively, subliminally) to share her fate with her. My mother was abusive on a different kind of level, but what I realised after I broke contact with my family is how she always wanted to see me being involved/copying the same kind of feelings and states that she was in. It's a mixture of not being alone with it through having someone suffer a similar thing together with oneself, and also i think it works as sort of confirmation that one is not inherently wrong in how their life has turned out, because they somehow confuse the roles of parent and child to a point where 'If my child suffers the same kind of weakness than it is okay for me to portray that kind of weakness to them and need their help with it', also it doubles down as a justification as to why they where treated badly by their parents so they can stay in denial about why they are broken and troubled in the first place, they can tell themselves that 'this is just how things are' and their own unresolved trauma can more easily stay suppressed.
As a victim of adverse childhood experiences and trauma, I can confirm that (my) life doesn't feel like a "living", it feels more of "surviving". I wanna live life but my traumatized brain only focuses on surviving...
“We survive” possibly means “I survive. My life is so hard that I can’t live I have to survive so that’s why my actions are justified” and “you survive. So I’m doing my job as a parent” 🙁
As a traumatized child myself, neglect was the least of my problems unfortunately, I grew up feeling like a victim. Now, I don't see it that way anymore. I am a survivor. My husband taught me how to love myself and realize that I don't need validation from anyone, I needed to validate myself. Letting go of the victim mentality was the most freeing feeling I ever had. It took years to finally understand it was not my fault. I hope that people who experience what I have, gain the strength to learn how to become a survivor, love themselves, and thrive. My family is basically four people. Me, my husband, our son and my husband's mom. She actually has a pretty big family but despite her having to raise her siblings she is still neglected and alienated by her family. I don't know why she doesn't give up on them like I did with mine. Giving up on them was the best decision I ever made. It's hard to feel disappointed when you don't expect anything from them. I'm not saying that I am no longer effected or don't have triggers, but that it's so much easier to deal with them when they arise. The water of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Make your own family. God bless you and anyone who reads this. I hope that you find peace and love.
I personally believe Claire developed Maladaptive Daydreaming as a way to cope. It’s a trauma response to multiple things Claire suffers from (neglect, boredom, abuse and more). As someone who has it myself for other reasons than Claire, I find the experience of the beginning and end quite relatable. When you latch onto something so hard you pretend you’re a part of it-you become Opal, not Claire, with a far better desired life, you’ll obviously feel better, even if for a few hours. But then when you realise you’re not, finding your hair isn’t pigtails and you’re just stuck in your room and head, pretending, it often feels like being doused in cold water. Whether you know it’s not real or think it is, it’s disappointing when you’ve been that deep in and get jostled back by and to reality. I couldn’t imagine being in this situation, though; it’s clearly just a constant cycle of coming back and going again.
as a fellow maladaptive daydreamer- honestly can't tell if being aware of it or not is better- not that it matters ultimately personally, still heavily stuck in survival mode despite being free for almost 2 years now & i am only becoming aware of most of my coping mechanisms now; realizing the habit of avoiding reality was a heavy hitter random side note : i've never actually watched through this art before; so i'm still catching up to theories & ideas regarding it- it's already stressful getting halfway through it-
Wow! Growing up in abuse, I also maladaptive daydreamed constantly but didn’t realize why until now. It is like cold water. Also when your daydreams become so consistent i find it’s easy to develop intense anxiety surrounding the daydream world ( I.e anxiety around neglecting or abandoning the world, real emotional impacts caused by daydreams or the daydream ‘rules’).
if you take away the situation, it's kinda like trying to stop dissociating this way (maladaptive daydreaming is basically just a different flavor of dissociation) like, you dissociate for a long while you forget you remember you become stressed/bored/etc you do it again a cycle, in all it's agonizing glory claire is most definitely doing this, there's no way she isn't, really
I love the realization when at first you think Opal (Claire) is scared when she's in the house because she isnt Claire and these are people she doesn't know only to realize it is her house and she is Claire but the abuse she went through has made her so scared of her own home like she's a stranger to it
Omg wow,you explained literally the thing that happened in the video. Woah. Oh my gosh. What incredible insight. I'm sure It took much brain power to type all that. Stupendous.
@@theincrediblefella7984 They literally just said about how they felt about the realization you get after watching it the first time and then watching it again. Why do you have to be so negative? Are you having a bad day or something?
@@bubblegum6753 I detest when people are being obvious. It makes them look stupid and I happily point it out. Why are you complaining about it? Are you having a bad day or something?
I also interpreted Claire's fear of the billboard lights as a fear of being in the spotlight. From my own experiences, my neglect affected me so much that when I did get any type of attention or recognition, i would experience extreme anxiety because i was not use to actually getting attention or validation from anyone. I had a full blown anxiety attack when my friend was complimenting my accomplishments in front of others that i screamed loudly at her to stop. - (Can you imagine how everyone looked at me...) To me, Claire's fear of the billboard lights is her underlying fear of actually receiving that type of attention she craves because she simply is not used to it. So she runs from it even though that is what she wants.
I always had a fear that If anyone became aware of my life, they would take me away which for some reason I always thought that was a worse outcome than what I was going through so I'd hide away inside and avoid attention as much as possible.
What you describe, is an anxious-avoidant attachment style in a person. Just becoming aware of Attachment theory, saved my life. Knowing how/why I feel unloveable and unworthy of love has given me so much hope emotionally. As a 30yr old man, I now understand that I do have a worth,, but it's above 0.00; I can build off of 0.01, and that comfort alone is so precious to me.
@Kindashitatlife wow, great insight. I'm turning 30 in a month, and I too JUST started to understand my worth and value. Little by little because I still get a small amount of anxiety. However, when it comes to love, I am slowly getting there.
I think what's most accurate about Opal as a character is her reaction to the trauma she's experiencing as a young child. Her brain has gone through so much it's literally escaping into the single thing known to her outside her household, which is the advertisement. Her brain morphed her reality in order for her to be able to live through her trauma.
Its those burgers man --got crack in em... how the little girl got so chubby the crack isaffecting her metabolism. But, yeah. They represent hope i think why she imagines them as an escape.
Sometimes, dyfunctional families are made up of traumatized people who find themselves unable to keep a normal family structure due to their trauma. I do find that each adult in Claire's family are each trying to cope in a certain way due to something that happened in each of their lives in the past.
That is my family. My mom is a narcissist. She got molested by a family member. She never went to therapy for it. Roman catholics saw therapy as weakness, I think? My dad. His father was abusive and left the family when he was 8. He was a drug addict and has Bipolar disorder. My sister is dead of a drug overdose. I am always low-key suicidal. I have BPD and I am pretty sure that I have C-PTSD, but have only been diagnosed with BPD. I was the scapegoat. My mom said "go ahead" when I said I was going to kill myself. She made fun of my appearance. She talked about herself and didn't care about a word that I said. She still doesn't. She stole thousands of dollars from me. She screamed in my face when I was crying as a teenager. She was disgusted that I dated the same sex. But I was fed and overweight, which is still neglectful to let your child be unhealthy. And I was 10 and making food for my sister. All she does is lie. I'm in no contact. My mom hasn't learned since my sister died. She didn't even know my sister. I knew my sister. My sister was the only person in my family who cared about me emotionally. I'm 35 and still trying to accept the reality that my parents will never be loving and never care about anyone other than themselves. I'm afraid to be myself around people. My parents completely rejected me. I don't trust anyone.
God, I started bawling my eyes out watching this. I’m part of the kids who were raised by RUclips because of child neglect, and recognizing RUclipsrs as my own billboard hit me too hard.
I can also say I’m one of those children…it was my only safe space and comfort. And also my only moral compass since my parents didn’t really teach me it in good ways
At least y’all had a platform and could see people going through the same situations or could interact thru comment sections with other ppl like you. My generation had to deal with it alone!
I wrote an EP called mirror party, that, was my "conception" of the self after having an insomnia episode. What I didn't know at the time was that I grew up in a narcissistic household. I conceptualized that everyone is just a mirror for each other. I think now, I realize, I was just a mirror for my family. I don't know who I am without being a mirror for someone else.
Terribly relatable. I used to pretend that my parents were actually aliens out there somewhere and they'd come back for me one day. It's good to see things like this represented though because neglect is often overlooked, especially emotional neglect.
It’s strange that there exist people who share some aspects of life so similar to yours. I used to pretend that teachers or coaches were my parents to be able to fall asleep at all as a child. There must be lifelong changes to a persons brain if they were emotion neglected during their development
I am genuinely floored by your comment as well as the replies to it. I thought I was alone. I used to fantasize that my "real parents" were vampires and they can't come out in the day time.
I used to pretend (and spend hours daydreaming) that my "parents" had stolen me from my actual birth parents when I was born and that instead, I actually belonged to a loving, wealthy middle class family that couldn't find me. I truly couldn't accept the fact (and still cant accept) that the people who are to be my parents, could have possibly actually had me. They're the worst people imaginable and if it were to come out that I had been taken as a baby it would explain so much.
This is why I was obsessed with the American Girl Doll Samantha when I was a kid. A poor, neglected girl who gets adopted by kindhearted rich people. My childhood dream.
@@hggpi i relate to that but sadly in reality i know they will never come true nor will they realise let alone admit that they were in the wrong or i'm ruined because of them
My neglect was mostly just being set in front of a television and was never taught to do anything. In fact, it was encouraged that I do nothing but play video games or watch tv and stay quiet. Any emotion or any serious discussion was met with outbursts of anger and just complete narcissistic treatment. Imagine being in your 30's and having the gall to not only belittle your son, neglect him, and shame him for emotions, but to also talk shit to an 8 year old - consistently - as a fully grown man? Then mentally torture me to the point of multiple attempted suicides, major self harm issues, neglecting school work, dropping out of high school. I was given an ultimatum a month before my 18th birthday: drop out and get a better job, or move out when I turn 18. I ended up doing both. Moved out in 3 hours while my dad was at work. I was pretty much a man child from 18 to 25 before reality hit me and I started taking accountability for life and changing. It's never too late to heal your voice, my friends.
I’ve left this comment up long enough. I will say that every thing in this world is as it should be, open for change that we must start. I’m pretty excited about what the future will bring like the plan for a base on the moon in the next 10-20 yrs is awesome I doubt but awesome I can totally see spaceX collaborating with nasa big when it comes to a moon base.🇺🇸🦅
This hit home so hard. Like, people don't understand why my childhood was so traumatizing because I never showed up to school with bruises, CPS was called but they never did anything because it all looked fine for the most part. It wasn't about physical effects, it was always about me being so hyper aware that I didn't matter. It was always about sneaking into my own home because who knows what kind of mood moms in. It was about 4th grade being way way too soon to want to die. And now it's about never being able to fully convince myself that I matter and being confused when someone shows they care about me and never being able to fully shake my family because all anyone's sees is people that "care" about me but only if I'm working myself to death to fit into their image that they want to tell their friends about.
'Only if I'm working myself to death' I swear noone in my family admires me unless I'm doing something profound or working to death. Otherwise they see me and my interests as puny, worthless and distasteful.
This is exactly my situation. Unless I am spending every minute of my life the way they want me to live it, I don’t deserve their respect. I’ve cut myself off from them multiple times but each time they promise to change. Each time I want to believe them because there’s nothing more I want than a family Each time it’s the same
That’s….very fucking disturbing. My ex is the epitome of this short, 100%. His mom tried to stab him and his dad earlier in his life. He also grew up literally fighting his older sibling. While we were together, his mother smashed the ps4 I gave him, and choked him out. I always tried to be the light at the end of the tunnel for him, but this short put into perspective how much anguish this man went, and still is, going through. As someone who has a neglectful, barely existing family (due to mental health, drug use, and other horrible issues) I grew up the child that was going to get my immediate family out the hood. I am the only child, and I’m still somewhat treated this way. It’s just that I don’t know how else to live at this point.
My mom used to tell me "you're my person. You don't watch gray's anatomy, that's why you don't understand. You're *my* person" meaning that I was her closest confidant and friend. I never got to ask her if she ever thought about whether or not I wanted to be her person.
@@reeannabelle3572 If you're an adult, yes. If you're a child you're not emotionally mature or stable to do so. It will negatively impact your development.
I hate that so many people still underestimate the severe impact emotional neglect can have on someone. Sure I've never been left to starve but my friends have become more family than my parents ever were... i fear leaving my room a majority of the time
Hey I know you don't know who I am or anything but I just want to say stay strong. I can't really relate to your situation but I'm really hoping you can get away from all the toxic people in your life completely and safely.
I feel like people should understand what Generational Pattern Parenting is. It will help understand why your parents are who they are. Same way this video emphasize on child neglect. Your same parents were neglected as child consequently affecting you. Be the first to make peace, understanding your parents, change that Generational Pattern.
@@javierlandaverde4108 It's the parent's responsibility to work on their own issues until they are fit to raise a child. The child is not responsible for fixing a relationship the parent broke. The victim does not have to force those around them to change, and in many cases, they are not even capable of doing that because people won't change unless they want to. I am sick and tired of this "you can fix them" narrative, it only encourages people to stay in abusive situations. All of this is especially true when you consider we are talking about literal children.
@@123till321 I believe they were implying after a far bit of distance and time. I suppose it depends alot on individual cases whether they want to reunite.
As someone who’s been through a very similar type of trauma, words can’t describe how comforting “we see you” is. To me it means that someone SEES you and your needs, sorrows, and opinions as a person. It makes me feel loved and fills the void left by the absence of comfort when you witness violence. This feeling brought me a odd sense of comfort when it was sang, like a small desire deep down to have that normal life
This is the creepiest and depressing yet well made, creative and beautifully made short film. It’s scary to think that so many kids go through stuff like this. I hope they all get the happy endings they deserve.
As someone who was severely abused in all ways except sexually and burdened with an adult level of responsibility and work at age six, no film has ever represented how I felt as well as Opal. Watching it triggered forgotten memories. It's a masterpiece.
I experienced a lighter version of this, I was praised for being more mature than my age and acted as an ear for my parents troubles. I felt more mature than them, and still feel more mature than both of them, to this day. Children are not your friends folks, they're your responsibility. Stop burdening them with adult responsibilities. I'm sorry you experienced this. I hope you have gotten stronger through it and are working to create the kind of live you want to have. Bless up!
I know people that have been through worse. Blood, pain and death included. Breakdown? Try a MELTdown. As bad as it was I NEEDED that. I had to suffer through the neglet and isolation to learn to find my own answers. It's made me stronger. I don't fear anything now. If we don't go through shit then we don't learn. Just make sure you make the effort to get noticed. If someone ghosts you it's their own weakness and inability. There's a reason I'll always stand my ground 100% of the time. Neglet is something I won't ever do. Any other thing, yea, but eye to eye. Sympathy isn't the point. The ideals of courage, honesty and accountability is. The cold hard truth is most people are cowards in denial living a lie. I actually know the stastistics for depression and suicide and know psychology. Well, no point worrying. Every point in trying.
im 23 and been breaking from the shame and guilt i feel about my childhood / teenagehood, the loss, neglect the false stories and beliefs my family made me believe about myself. it is a really painful process, almost feels like learning how to human. It has affected me so much in relationships , fearing them, but now chanigng it and seeing myself as worthy for love and setting boundaries and non-negotiables. Right now Im focusing on seeing myself beyond the trauma - being the person i am and want to be while accepting the things that happened on the past that i cant change. Droping down defensivness and coldness as that was a way to push people away. Focusing on the now and building my future step by step. Droping the defense and coping mechanisms that no longer work and getting comfortable with things and situations that wouldve made me previously uncomfortable. Acknowledging that i am not my family or my past and that im not alone and to that i am still young - i have my entire life ahead of me lol.
This piece of art by jack strauber is held so dear to my heart. We often talk about child abuse and neglect but we never talk about how it feels through the perspective as a child. Confusing and horrifying and there’s NO way to make sense of things other then to escape in your own mind. When your guardians don’t have your best interest in mind, there’s nothing you can do. Nothing you can do.
If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives. Looking back to the family in opal there are ways that the family could have been changed for the better by Christ. The blind grandfather would be thankful for his life and his daughter, who he would treat with the kindness of Christ. The narcissistic dad would be able to find comfort in Christ and realize that life isn’t all about how you look or how others think you look. And would instead follow Christ instead of himself. Even the addicted mother would be able to find comfort in Christ by venting her troubles to him and finding comfort and healing through Christ. Even the sprouts of the seeds of faith would do wonders for the family, let alone the tree that will come from the seeds. Let us all therefore follow Christ and see his greatness and glory.
@@coladoo5153 honestly the short was missing an evangelical adult who ignores opal/Claire constantly in favour of rambling about how "glorious" God is instead of just listening to her.
@@twingames8499 That mentality leads to more kids being neglected by parents' misunderstandings of the religion they halfheartedly follow than it does to them getting the care they need.
It was really heartbreaking to see poor Claire get neglected so horribly by her family that she's the main reason it stays together. She helps her grandpa with being his eyes, she listens to her mom venting, and she has to see her dad slowly falling apart because he's so self conscious about his appearance. It's sad to see her literally fantasize about having a wonderful family...it's awful that children have to be hurt this way, no matter the age or gender. It's so common and revolting. I noticed a few people writing their own experiences with abusive families in the comments, so here's mine. I was abused by my abusive mom(bc her mom/my grandma was an abuser as well to her, anyways) as a teenager, while my older sister was too scared to help me when I would get abused, since she thought she'd get abused too for standing up for me. My dad was always working and barely home until late at night while the abuse usually happened during late afternoon. She'd verbally, physically, and emotionally abused me a lot compared to my older sister, calling me fat/ugly/gross because of my depression and how it affected my hygiene/etc. She kept telling me that I was a horrible daughter and how she wanted to move out of the house because I caused her "too much stress" for "lashing out" at her, when in reality I was trying to defend myself from her actions and words. She also kept threatening me with returning me to the mental hospital because of the lashing out(I went there due to the abuse and threatened to hurt myself because she's the whole reason I have depression and anxiety), which that's literally not what a damn mental hospital is for. It's not a damn daycare, it's a place where people go to deal with mental illnesses, to recover from the worst of it, and to leave when they feel ready to. And even then, at the time, I had to be sent there by my school counselor, not my mom. So she didn't even make the decision for me in the first place. She'd need a legit reason to send me back there, but she didn't have any other ones besides not wanting to deal with me. Great analysis and great short film regardless, I enjoyed both.
i didn't mention this because i forgot. that was one of the details that actually pulled me into analyzing this more LOL. glad someone pointed it out though so everyone else knows :)
a similar thing happened with my step mom, I was always the bad guy for defending myself and would only get yelled at more if i didn't say anything at all. Eventually she convinced my dad to revoke guardianship of me and I've never been happier even if i lost my family.
im a hardcore horror enthusiast so I don't normally get spooked very easily but I can honestly say that Opal is the scariest things I've seen in a long time. the combination of the eerie claymation mixed with very real trauma had my anxiety reeling. jack stabber really is incredible
I agree Jack staubers way of making stories really hits you hard. I used to watch his videos when I was younger. Now I'm much older and am scared of watching those stories and understanding what I never understood.
The moment I realised something was wrong with my family was when I went over a friend's house and when dinner was called, we all actually sat down and talked with one another. No one stormed off, no one got mad and started screaming trying to one-up the other, and they'd actually offer to get things for other family members (like drinks with some ice, or pass the salt). My mind was BAFFLED. LOL. I wasn't sure whether to join in or pick the safe option and stay quiet. I'm uncertain what I decided to do but I remember that moment being a fairytale. It made my day and I couldn't stop smiling throughout the entire hang out. Eating peacefully with the family was a genuine movie scene to me, I didn't think it existed. Never eaten like that with my family ever. Was very weird to learn that families do in fact love each other like in the movies, but it was also definitely cathartic to finally realise that it wasn't my fault that I couldn't fix a dysfunctional family. None of that abuse was my fault. I hope everyone who didn't have the great childhood they deserved can heal and prosper!!❤️❤️ It was never your fault at all for being a kid who wanted to be cared for. I still have a pretty bad relationship with food (among other issues) as a result but I've been doing a lot better for myself and you can too. I believe in you!
I may be reading into it too much, but inside the house Claire has to do something for the adults in order for them to notice her. In her fake family, she dances in order to gain their praise and love. Even within her mind, Claire has to do a favor in order to be deserving of love.
It makes sense. If you've never experienced healthy love and attention then it's very hard to imagine what that actually looks like. Even in her mind when she does something she wasn't supposed to (she looks at the house), the father pokes at her, the burger's pulled toward the mom, and she's sent to bed like a punishment. It's done in a "nice" way, but it's still an overblown reaction to something very minor. So there's still an abusive element to her imaginary family because that's what she knows. (For instance, the dad pokes and sings down at her which I saw as similar to her real dad "poking" fun and putting her down but not as cruelly. It's playful with an uncomfortable undertone.) If you're raised to believe that love and attention are transactions based on your performance for others, you don't stop believing that just because you're around healthy people or in your head. It's more that you think your performance, how you please others, will be positively rewarded instead of negatively or not at all. It's still an abusive mindset, but you don't have another frame of reference to go by. It also plays on a second level where her brain is trying to delay and protect her from the reality of what must be done as it gets dark outside The sweat dripping down the father's face is probably her own anxiety. The punishment because it was "bad" (fear inducing) to interrupt the fantasy with reality even briefly. What happens when we're "bad"? We get punished. Because your reality molds your mind and perception, you can't completely escape it even in fantasy.
I remember kids asking me why I didn't brush my hair and also remember when my mom gave up on brushing it instead of learning how to take care of it and teaching me. I remember my teachers asking me about my appearance and like they shouldn't have been asking me lmao. My mom had issues with alcohol to the point where she had me mixing her drinks at like 8 when she was too intoxicated. My bio dad is a narcissist and my mom was gone after I turned 15. I cried watching opal after it came out and I cried this entire video lol
I'm sorry you experienced that. I hope life is better for you now, remember you control your destiny and once you move out, you are responsible for your happiness. You can reach it, I believe in you!
@alexanderbanman9288 eh it's just gotten worse I'm watching my father die of Metastatic cancer at the moment and I'm the only able kid of his being able to do whatever he needs done and it's just going to keep being more rough 🙃
@@breannenicole4454 I don't know what to say, I understand the disturbing reality of your situation and how you know you can't do anything about it right now. My only consolidation as a child was that I would grow up one day and move away. I'm not sure what your intentions are for your future, but there will come a time when you're no longer responsible for your parents and you can make your own destiny. Just be careful not to take on someone else as your burden once you become an adult who is fully responsible for themselves. As someone who has experienced somewhat similar (although much less extreme) conditions to what you're facing, I tend to allow people into my life who are needy, and then they take advantage of me. A healthy relationship between adults looks like both sides being there for each other in equal measure, seeing and understanding one another, supporting each other in turns. This is the kind of relationship I wish for you in the future, with friends, family, coworkers, and in your love life. I know it's a bleak, unavoidable reality right now, and again, I'm sorry. But eventually things will change and you will have new opportunities. Stay strong in your heart and seek a life that is good for you, and those you love and care about. You deserve happiness, you are a strong person, and though it may feel like none of your actions matter now, every good deed you do has an impact on the world, even if it's just in your own home at the moment. Your strength and will to do the right thing will make a difference. Just remember that you need to take care of your own needs as well throughout life: rest, enjoyment, self education, surrounding yourself with people who are good to you. Life is a balance of give and take with others, and taking care of yourself. I believe in you, you will make it through this, and become stronger and more loving towards yourself!
9:57 in grandpas defence. He literally has no idea whose there. Not in the metaphorical sense, he literally is guessing who’s there based off of footsteps and breathing.
Opal's panic going through her house really hit home for me. I remember dreading getting off the bus from school because i was never sure if i would walk into a warzone and end up stuck with the consequences. Most days i would pray no one even noticed me come home.
@@l.5462 Saying this from a place of care, I hope you find a better hero than Tate. His style of self help is largely destructive, and often makes people worse wrt self esteem and empathy. There are whole videos on this of course, Pinely has a good one, as does user Shaun. I'm glad you're here, and found something that helped, but he and his community are really toxic and harmful, to you and the perception of the world he creates. He does not live a reality, and he wants others to buy in because THAT is how he gets paid. There are so many great role models out there though! People who inspire us... the best are the ones who inspire kindness, as genuinely, that helps the outlook on life so much. It's a tangible thing, though.
Man, the thing that got me was the mom using the daughter as a therapist. My own mom said that she wanted kids so they can rely on them. Such as caretaking, taking them anywhere they want and using us for money once we get successful. Sure, mothers need a break. But once you have kids, *you* are the ones that are supposed to take care of them. Not the other way around.
My mom said the same thing growing up. Now as an adult, I’ve cut ties with my narcissistic and abusive family. I’m not taking care of people who’ve hurt me for so many years.
I was my moms therapist while I cannot remember one “real” conversation my father and I had in childhood. I can remember him telling me one of my purposes in life was to take care of them when they were old. So much of this video resonates with me…. I’m still living in a sea of anxiety. I’ve cut both of them off now…. really my entire family has been cut off. And I’m still trying to figure out how to survive.
The shots with Claire as her fathers mirror, her mothers pills and her grandfathers eyes really hit home for me, my old man was a little of all of them.
Watching Opal when I was 19 it disturbed me and sat with me for way to long, seeing this break down made me realised why it got stuck in my head. thank you for making a break down video! I, myself, was neglected as a kid by my siblings and mother that led me feeling alone in a household of 10. and to this day I am praised for being independent... but that is a product of being told to go away and that everyone seemed to be too busy to listen to me or or even help me. often id be playing with duplo alone in my room as lego was for my older brother and I even managed to find entertainment from playing with soft toys that the family thought I loved my soft toys they bought me more.. internally I saw it as another way of saying go away. Opal spoke to me in the sense of having a family that doesnt seem to care for my wellbeing or see me as a person. to this day my mum has a hard time listening to me talk about the past that she flips the convo to "I'm so sorry. I should have done better. I am this... I should have that..." causing me to need to reassure her and being left with the feeling that I am still not being listened to nor seen. >_> so thats fun XD
I have seen her mom on Instagram, she has photos of her children and stuff. She seems very loving with her family. Haven't found his dad though. No idea if those images of a happy family are a lie, or if Jack is just the best psychologist ever. Or if Jack had a friend in that situation, that makes sense too. (Also, I know about his mom because I was reading his wikia, and I saw the @ of his sister, and finding his mom was easy when scrolling through his sister's photos and Instagram literally telling me Jack's sister followed her)
@@NeidenHalffur Fact of the matter is some toxic families 'seem' happy and put together. However, I agree that Jack may have a lot of introspect if he has empathy for neglected kids. It's just...insane how accurate it is. How does this guy know about outdoors maladaptive daydreaming to escape traumatic households? The 'woe is me' reverse psychology of parental figures? Either insanely genius or depressingly relatable.
That whole explanation of the mother using the daughter as a therapist basically caught my attention the most. My mom smokes, drinks, and has verbally and emotionally abused me ever since she divorced almost 10 years ago. I’m 15 now and I have to take care of her as she threatens me, my brother, even my pets as she also abuses them. I fantasize living with the people that make me happy and enjoy life, realizing I’m stuck at “home” where I’m constantly scared of my own mother. I feel like I shouldn’t have written this- I've read every single comment from everyone of you and I just wanted to say thank you so much, everything you all say has helped me a lot mentally, I have huge plans when I turn 18 that are a bit risky like moving to another state to live with my friends, we can't choose our biological family but you can find your true, and I have. They do know everything and they've had ideas to help but they're going through a lot. I just started sophomore year and I can't wait until I can finally leave. Thank you guys all so much for telling your own stories, understanding my situation, and telling me all your great tips to keep going. I'll always remember all your kind words guys
My therapist tried CPS but they didn’t care, they say CPS will only come if the child has no home, no food, or if there’s physical injuries Thank you both though for caring and speaking up to me about it
@@gamer_rederson5919 Damn i knew CPS was fucked but i didn’t know it was that bad, either way i really hope you, your brother and your pets get help soon.
my parents suddenly started seeing me now as an adult. but i can’t help remembering everything from my childhood and how much that kid needed them. im all grown now but i feel so behind emotionally. thank you for this video
I think its because the parents know they will get old and no one will take care of them except their children and no one will spend money on them, so they try and act like they care about their children when they are adults, well at least in my fathers case after years of neglect, emotional/verbal and mental abuse he decides to lie and gaslight me about the past because im an adult and i have a future ahead of me.
Yeah bro when I got the fuck out of there at 18 and went no contact, suddenly they wanna talk to me. Like what?? You never gave a shit for 18 years and now you want to? So confusing. Could they have done it all along? Is that a trap to get me back? This fucks me up
This is such a comfort video to me I live opal so much but the person that narrates this has such a smooth voice it feels like someone comforting me when I was a kid it’s so warm thank you
Wow, this hits home. I'm an only child who grew up with my single mother who was an alcoholic. I was always a naturally shy, obedient child who also had anxiety most likely. I had a lot of emotional abuse and neglect. This sums it up completely.
One of the small disturbing details I noticed during the initial encounter with the grandfather is that he says to Claire, “You smell weird.” This implies that Claire was neglected to the point that she *smells.*
The question is, have any of them taught her how to shower or take a bath? Because if she doesn’t even know how, she’s probably covered in dirt and grass from sitting outside.
My parents never taught us how and they would yell at us for embarrassing them. Until I was 13 I didn't know you were supposed to shower everyday. It didn't become a habit until 2 months ago. I'm 17. My parents never talked to us. Let alone taught us ANYTHING about how to take care of ourselves other than brushing our teeth.
@@spacebar9733 I had similar situation, we didnt have washing machine that works properly and my clothes would just stink all the time. At some point I started hand washing them just not to smell in school all the time, I was scrubbing one sweater so hard I managed to give myself wounds on hands. Parents are suppoused to teach children these things, to clean themselves and how to take care of clothes etc, some parents shouldnt be parents tbh.
As a person who has experienced emotional (and on rare cases physical) neglect and abuse, there was just....way too much with this that hit close to home. What's even more terrifying than living this reality is when you try to reach out for help, but everyone bats your hand away. When you try to call out, but no one listens. When you try to leave your reality for good but it holds onto you. Shit hurts man. Stay strong brothers and sisters it gets better.
@Jane Cochran Yes. I absolutely despise how this sentiment is parroted everywhere. To anyone who needs to hear it: Life does not end after childhood. A terrible childhood does not guarantee a terrible adulthood. Life doesn't "go downhill after high school". Being an adult doesn't suck. It will be difficult, yes, but it will be freeing and rewarding. Your life is not over once you grow up. Grow up, grow old, and enjoy every moment. You have your whole life ahead of you.
My parents are ok, they dont hit me but they never leave me some free time even if im 15 and im already working 8 hours a day in a factory, and when i Say im tired they Say "You cant be tired your only 15"
That, and what's more, even when you receive an offer of help from someone, it can be so hard to believe that you might even bat their hand away and just continue drowning yourself in the pit you're stuck in. I know I've done that my fair share with people who truly meant the best for me and I kick myself for it now.
@@jameshersom2536 got into college. It was really my only out. I still stay with my mom on the breaks, but at this point she knows that if she's shitty to me that I'll leave forever. I'm finding space to heal and I'm working on my problems one small step at a time.
This was beautifully made and made me feel seen in a weird way. I appreciate you for making this art even if it’s just an analysis of another’s. I hope you are getting better from your past as we all are trying, love ❤️
When I was around 12years old I would have this fantasy that I was really sick and someone finally loved me and took care of me… my dad was an alcoholic and smoked cracked he was totally checked out and my mom was severely verbally and physically abusive.. I’m 35 and I’m finally breaking the chains from my childhood trauma
My mom was only ever nice to me when I was sick. But like even then I'd get blamed for getting myself sick. Anyway I think that definitely impacted some of the reasons why I developed anorexia which I'm still dealing with relapses every few years near 15 YEARS LATER. Child neglect and abuse is the worst thing. It's pure evil
I’m growing up with just a father, my mother died when I was very young so my father had to take that role. My father is a very kind man, sure he can get a little crazy sometimes but he loves us. Sorry that I’m taking about myself but I always feel horrible when I see some that had a hard childhood, your childhood is what builds you, I’m sorry for everyone that had been through very hard things, I wish I could help them
Dragonlord you must accept incorporate the experiences into your reality before you can heal. Rejecting what happened means you cannot make the first step to grow. It’s a lot but it starts with understanding that things did happen to you the way they did and you had no awareness of the full impact. Working with a psychologist or coach that can teach you to bring yourself mentally back to the current moment, and a relationship to genuinely build trust.
My own mother walks unusually quietly, and after watching this, now I'm wondering what might have happened in her childhood to cause this. My own family is seriously dysfunctional, and pain is generational.
When I was younger, I was deathly afraid of my father(who was physical sometimes back then), and my parents, especially him, would often take away any and all things that brought me entertainment as punishment for the smallest things. I often resorted to trying my best to avoid them noticing me, which would put me at risk of conflict and thus further punishment, and would sneak around at night to take back the things they took from me. I am 21 now, and while they've gotten better, the scars remain. I remain a night owl with a horrid sleep schedule(it is 5AM as I type this), and unconsciously move very quietly, sometimes startling people who didn't hear me moving around.
What Opal does as a way to cope is called “Maladaptive Daydreaming.” It’s a coping mechanism often used among children to essentially escape their reality. Maladaptive daydreaming is identified by extremely intricate and detailed characters, stories, and worlds built inside someone’s mind. They also usually last long periods of time, these worlds can be based off of things that the person likes or simply made up all together. I used to be a maladaptive daydreamer, the world I had created was based off of a video game I liked. Every single character was so intricately crafted and the story was deeply rooted inside me. That world of mine lasted for 4 years. It’s what I would use to feel better when I was upset or stressed, it would help me sleep at night, and i would escape there anytime I remembered anything about my Dad. This type of daydreaming can be very disruptive in a young child’s life, the main example of this is in school, usually the teacher would be talking and my mind would slip away unwilling and I’d zone out completely and get left behind. I didn’t mean to zone out, it would just happen and I wouldn’t even notice. I remember when I first saw this short, I understood Opal completely. Escaping reality using a world formed inside your mind. And completely off topic but Opals mother acted the same way my father did, he’s a changed man now.. at least somewhat. There’s always hope for a better tomorrow
If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives. Looking back to the family in opal there are ways that the family could have been changed for the better by Christ. The blind grandfather would be thankful for his life and his daughter, who he would treat with the kindness of Christ. The narcissistic dad would be able to find comfort in Christ and realize that life isn’t all about how you look or how others think you look. And would instead follow Christ instead of himself. Even the addicted mother would be able to find comfort in Christ by venting her troubles to him and finding comfort and healing through Christ. Even the sprouts of the seeds of faith would do wonders for the family, let alone the tree that will come from the seeds. Let us all therefore follow Christ and see his greatness and glory.
I started doing this when my best friend was killed in a car accident when I was 6, and kept going throughout the emotional neglect and abuse I experienced my whole life.
im curious at this point if me getting bored and coming up with Netflix seriesor random fantasy stories pacing around /w music for years at likee 1am-or in my room during 2020 was avarage im creative ii do know that but i dont use it when im getting yelled at or hit..? many fictiomal scenarios/arguements usually about terrible people though--alot of peole think they have MD maybe the music things just a general habit-? idk about the other one
As part of my own healing journey from an abusive parent with narcissistic issues, I'm grateful for videos like this that calmly in a non judgmental type of way explain deeper videos like this. It helps to put identifiers on things I thought were normal and work through them with knowledge. Thank you, and whatever support team helped to make this. ❤
One thing that I haven’t heard anyone mention in their analysis of Opal: In the scene with the mirror man, when the grandfather comes up the stairs and Claire panics and runs, her father startles and begins to reach out his hand to make her stay, calling out “Where are you going?!” This movement knocks one of his mirrors to the ground and it shatters, and he cries “No, this makes me feel!…” He uses the mirrors as his own escape from reality (similar to the others), presumably so he doesn’t have to confront the reality of his ruined face. Seeing his reflection in the shattered mirror breaks his illusion, causing him to lose his imagined beauty. The mirrors help him take his mind off his situation and seeing his broken reflection causes a swift reality check, and he feels vulnerable and broken without his illusion of beauty. I haven’t seen anyone notice this in their analysis of this film so I figured I’d point it out! :)
Thanks for pointing this out! I thought Claire's father said 'You know how this makes me feel..' was because she left and wasn't giving him any attention anymore
This video was a great watch and some parts of it really hit home for me, like avoiding interacting with family members because of substance abuse or being used. But sometimes I also feel like an impostor when I relate to stuff like this. Like my experience wasn't nearly as bad growing up. Idk it's a battle within myself that I have when I see things like this. I feel like I have been negatively affected because I have social anxiety and depression which I think stems from my childhood, but when I compare what I went through versus what other people went through I get the feeling that I'm just believing in that theory to cope. Idk, I just felt like I needed to vent this somewhere. Thanks for uploading though! When I first saw this video I couldn't watch it because it creeped me out, but this analysis really showed me that there was a lot more to it than that.
I’m one of those specific other people with absolutely hideous experiences that you’d probably compare yourself to, and unfortunately, I can categorically tell you you’re not an impostor. I’ve been abused physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and sexually. Of the five, the emotional abuse was the worst/ most damaging kind and it’s not even close. You’re not faking, you’re not an impostor, and you’re not wrong thinking you’ve been traumatized. You got the worst one that nobody is willing to recognize as the worst one. I’m sorry.
I relate to this so much. Despite my *occasional* childhood malnourishment, *occasional* emotional battery, the trauma dumping emotional incest, the *occasional* trips to hotels while dad was chasing us and semi annual physical abuse, I still fucking say 'well my dad DID take me to McDonald's sometimes' UGH.
jack stuaber is an astonishing artist who captured the deep phycological effect behind child neglect. and as a person with an abusive father i find this important representation. i am very glad this youtuber chose to cover this topic. makes me feel less alone and distant to know other people understand me. i wish all kids could find a safe and healthy environment.
This was heartbreaking. Thanks for filling in gaps I missed in the original. Loneliness is a powerful force and it doesn't require the absence of others.
9:00 the mom part hits home for me. my mom was an addict. less than three weeks before she died of an OD, i was talking to her about how upset i was that she left me alone in a hotel with no food, money, or transportation (i had just gotten into a car wreck and couldn’t even walk) and she started arguing back with stuff like “yeah, it’s always about you, isn’t it? thanks for asking how i’m doing. i have shit going on too you know”. and i told her “i am your daughter, not your friend. i can’t even hold my own shit let alone yours”
to clarify some stuff: -we were homeless. a church paid for us to be in the hotel -my mother denied being a drug user even when i found syringe caps in her car and had videos of her nodding off -my car accident was really bad and i nearly died. my jaw had been wired shut bc i broke it and had just gotten the wires off after six weeks so i was RAVENOUS. all i could consume was broth and water and protein shakes. -i had shattered my femur and had been given permission to start using a cane to walk but then a bug got on me in the shower and i launched myself out, fracturing my fibula and being put back on complete weight bearing restrictions -prolly irrelevant but my mom had an extensive substance abuse history. i was 20 when she died and she had been using drugs long before i was born. up until the 3ish months before she died, i genuinely believed that she was sober. she died at the house of a guy she used with. i used to drive by his house in her car to see if i could creep him out and i guess it worked cause eventually i got in trouble with the police for it. really funny, honestly but he was also a drug user so i know he probably thought it was my mom even though he’s the one who found her and watched her be pronounced dead and put in a body bag by a coroner
@@misseselise3864 goodness I’m so sorry- my parents (particularly my father) love to do the whole “who cares about you what about ME” thing. I never had a situation as extreme as yours, but fuck I know how badly it burns to be made to feel like a useless burden for the crime of being injured. I had a foot injury bad enough to require surgery. Twice. By the time I finally was going to get checked out by a professional, I was having a really hard time walking for long distances. Just going about my school was agony. Despite this, my father wanted to go on a walk for Father’s Day. I just… couldn’t. I didn’t know what was wrong or just how bad it was yet, but I knew a long walk on a gravel road was a horrible idea for me. I let him know this, and told him he could take the rest of my family and go without me. He then threw a passive aggressive hissy fit because I was being “lazy” or “not caring about him on Father’s Day” or something like that. About a year later, something completely out of my control happened, and his drunk ass called me useless over it. I’m still unlearning thinking of myself and my needs as a burden- because that’s what I was taught to think of them as. I hope you’re doing better, and that you can find a way take care of and love yourself in all the ways your mother refused to.
@@suspiciousplatypusmoth the worst part is how I can see parents not thinking of it as a big deal in the long run, when childhood trauma is probably the most important time of anyone's life to treat the trauma
@@HyperNova808 oh absolutely. I saw a post somewhere that went like “for us, it’s a core memory of trauma. For them? Tuesday.” and it lives rent free in my brain. Parents seems to forget that for most of our early lives- they’re our whole world! Anything and everything they do will effect us eventually, one way or another. What they see as just a bit of light ribbing or simply a “joke” that fell flat could change how a child perceives themselves for the rest of their lives.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that none of that is youe fault in any way whatsoever okay you deserve people who love and care and appreciate you for who you are as a person your mother needs help with her own problems okay and I hope that you are doing better for yourself okay do not let anyone bring you down okay you got this
Well said, the analysis of this was thorough and so many points hit home and are appliable to situations that I have heard about or know first hand. Another comment said it here but the wishing you could be apart of another family or have something happen to end up being apart of another family in better or different circumstances? That is a very real, and rough thing to come to terms with, even as an adult, even as I am out and away from the neglectful childhood I had alongside raising myself, and even though things are better, deep down I know my body and mind don't feel the same. I remember the many times after another day of everyone arguing and fighting, of just sneaking down to some room in the house where the moon was visible on the nights it was visible, and just thinking to myself 'I wonder if there is someone out there that secretly is related to me or knows me and could take me in' and 'I wonder what it would be like to be born into a different family altogether, if I didn't look the way I did, if I didn't have the siblings I did, I wonder what that would be like? That sounds nice'. I wish I could give my younger self a hug, wrap myself in the softest blanket I own, and sit in a chair and sing songs until I fell asleep peacefully and carefree. I deserved that and so much more. Childhood trauma runs deep y'all. Take the time to process what you went through and if you are ready and want to (forcing yourself to go doesn't make it better or "work"), seeking therapy or counseling on CPTSD and Neglect is a great start. Also finding support groups from mentors and survivors as well can be a way to build up connections and find a source of grounding and support. Take care of yourselves and take it easy. Take it one day at a time and hey you are still here. I'm still here too, things will even out in the end as they are supposed to.
My mother used me as an emotional punching bag and would get angry when my therapist told me to tell her to leave me alone because the stress was negatively affecting my undergraduate studies. Later in life, she tried threatened to get me fired from my job if I left her to move in with my current, loving partner. She just wanted someone to take care of her. Claire's mom hits too real for me.
it makes me question..the rational--were they always entitled kids--? are tose the ones you see in your class? that just decide they dnt care so much they ruin their own lives--?
Find a Lawyer about how to protect yourself about her if she tries it. Try to find the facts in the law system instead of agreeing to her anger. Ask HR if they can connect you with Legal in someway that can protect you from someone externally that may be trying to purposefully get you in trouble. If they don't find that escalating, use the word fired instead of trouble. Know how to protect what you want, what you love, and what you want to love. If at all you should feel bad about leaving her, ask about Social Worker options that Governmental Services may be able to provide. That information could help. She may hate it for years but if she gets better, that's the goal.
This was my childhood. My safe haven was a desk with Legos in the drawer. I would sit for hours away from my family at that desk. One day my mom threw my desk across the room and it shattered my world. I lost my temper for the first time and it started a series of events that led to my dad taking my sisters and me away from that house. We never got help though. I relate to this so much, especially the tip toeing.. my coping mechanism is forgetting and numbing my emotions. I become cold and emotionally dead as I've been told
Opal was my life as a kid. Narcissistic father and alcoholic mother. I was just lucky enough to have grandparents who did their best to help but even they couldn't fully protect me.
@@Freshest_Water not rude at all, it is kind of you to think to ask. I'm doing better now thanks, I emigrated a few months ago and got married. Things are a lot more settled now. Things do get better. I promise ❤️ I hope you are doing well too!
Click for another Jack Stauber Video: ruclips.net/video/LxfwwsUNPxU/видео.htmlsi=kXooxh_dEQyxH11w
The Opal video was originally blocked by Turner, meaning I couldn't even upload it. Managed to get it watchable but not monetized (not monetized by me. Might still have ads but Turner is paid for them)
Glad I was able to get this one out though :)
www.patreon.com/everydaytheorist
I want you to know that your viewers do see you and hear you. I’m so sorry you went through what you did. I wish you so much happiness in your future.
Who is Turner?
@@magbywithrequiem7344 The company that owns Adult Swim
@@magbywithrequiem7344 turner is the parent company that owns adult swim. From what Ive researched at least.
Since adult swim made this, they blocked it. But i appealed and got it overturned to Not Blocked. But no money is given to me if they play ads on it
Damn it, Timmy Turner
A point of confusion that's explained in the official synopsis is that the "heavenly music" Opal hears from the top window is actually the sound of someone's crying, and she feels lured by it and decides to brave the house to see who could be in need of help, just to realize it's herself, and that she has nobody.
Oof. That hit hard.
That’s so sad
Holy shit
this is why I love putting stuff like this out there. thanks for sharing your insight. definitely gave me a new perspective on Opal
Oh my God. That is brilliant and great! I agree
Claire’s story is one that resonates. It’s very common for children who experience neglect to use maladaptive daydreaming to bury their trauma.
I did this a lot as a child and dissociated a lot
Omg ..... I now know why I had imaginary friend and even prayed to God to make my imaginary friend to become real.
By the the I started growing I became so different to other people that Ok couldn't socialise properly with other people .
I can still disassociate whenever I want
Dissociation is a helluva drug.
Ayyyyyyyyyy my people
this short film was so upsetting genuinely. the drunk mom character hit home so hard. the way she’s self aware and “feels bad” yet continues to traumatize the child with her drunk rants. tooooo real
no literally like it gave me full on flashbacks the rants and incoherent slurring of words from an alcoholic is the worst especially from a parent!
Way too real. I’m glad my dad has been sober now since 2020. I’m 24 now. For 21 years of my life I had to deal with my drunken father who knew he shouldn’t drink but he still did. Even after the multiple hospital visits for his drinking didnt have an affect on him. It took him crashing into a house and the possibility of jail time that made him quit. He’s so selfish for that. I still love him though, he’s not a bad man. I wish he never drank. I wish he took me fishing whenever I asked him when I was a kid. I have hundreds of fishing outings by myself but only a few with my dad
It’s like my dad. Fuck.
Dude same--- My mom was never an alchogolic but she did this same exact thing to me all the time and ughhh
yeah same, my dad has been sober for a little over a year but it took a severe toll on my mental health. he wasn’t abusive physically, but very mentally draining and some instances could be cruel. i love my dad don’t get me wrong…but it’s just something i can’t forget. it’s why i don’t drink or even like alcohol, ppl think i’m a prude ‘cause of that but those who live in a bubble wouldn’t get it
Emotional neglect is so awful. I bet a lot of victims don't even realize they have been neglected until they crash later in life and are forced to search for answers. Art like this is strangely healing, in that it makes one empathize with the child. If you have not been shown enough empathy as a child, learning to empathize with your child self can open up all that unacknowledged grief.
Sometimes i just question the way in which I do things and why I do them that way, is it convenient? Am I hurting anyone? Ect your behaviour can tell you so much if you choose to look at it from a different perspective. For instance I grew up being admonished everytime I make a mistake in anything literally, and alot of the times belittled by my mother and other adults. Naturally I became more MIA and I fear others judgements of myself. @@adm69420
this hit too hard
Serenity by godsmack is a little bit about this aswell
Totally me! I didn't know that I was neglected until I was in my late twenties. Now, I am 31 and am having to clean up the mess my parents made.
@@harper.la.vegano Me too
The grandfather saying "Hi, Opal!" seems fairly key in that the grandfather recognizes his granddaughter, something her own grandfather does not do.
Bingo. I think the “hi opal” is him just recognizing her, because in real life he doesn’t know who she is anymore
I also found that the dad saying “That’s my girl” directly points to the fact that her real father doesn’t acknowledge her as he is too caught up in himself. I can’t really figure out what “there she is” might mean for her mother though.
@@Hm-ek6vePerhaps its her mother acknowledging her, which her real mother doesn't do?
@@Hm-ek6ve I think it might also be the imaginary mother allowing her to be independent and achieve something, actually caring of the growth of her own child instead of using Opal/ Claire to be emotional support and depending on Opal to share her own emotional turmoil which she tries drowning out with escapism (bad romance novels that glorifies abuse which is seen at the intro where wine was spilled on a book, incredibly unhealthy consumption achohol and pills). Her mother also says that Opal/ Claire is also helpless like her.
Maybe that response of the mother is to intimate the opposite image of ownership or usage as she does in real life. So she says, “there She is” as in her own person, also not as an object/the pill image. So her mothers response in the fantasy is that she is humanized by her mother.
That hits hard for me, I’m my mothers second son, she gave the first up for adoption. They found each other after 40 years and I now know why my life has been a living hell. I was depersonalized into a tool with which my mom kept my dad around, he kept telling her he didn’t want to get into a relationship. . . But here we are, 35 years or so later and I have super debilitating paranoid schizophrenia and I live with my dad who left my abusive mother. She lives alone now for the first time in her life. I won’t speak with her or see her ever again, but sometimes I hear her voice on the phone( when someone else is on the phone with her) and I’ll cry for hours. I wish she would just apologize for one thing, any thing. I wish she would read my poetry, it’s the only thing I’m good at, most of my 1,500 poems are about mothers or moms and she hasn’t read or listened to a single one. She heard me reading to myself one poem that I wrote about God and she muttered to herself, “He will be the only one of us that will be remembered.” But that wasn’t praise, it was spoken to no one. . . It was hatred and jealousy.
This is probably the only poem of mine my mother has ever heard/seen
PERSONA, THE MASK
December 20, 2019
2:03am
The pen becomes unbearably heavy
Once the word it presses upon is known
The dot becomes eyes
Crosses itself becomes trees
The heart is the center
Of all things that flow
Rivers of passion
Songs of many birds
Walks along the ocean
Even mountains stir emotion
Hills and valleys
Take me up and away
In nooks and crannies
Motes gather and play
All the way up in Heaven
To beneath the turtles shell
The pen and the word takes me
Footsteps always lonely
Though someone was here before
Pulled a sword from a stone
Carved many scenes from living fabric
The weft and weave of reality
The point and to wield it
The focus of a thought not my own
To be worthy of the company it brings
For how long who knows
It was and always has been
Impressed by us in dust and dirt
On paper and in songs
In sermons and lectures
Landscapes and portraits
The many faces of God
Things like this remind me of a quote, "art is meant to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable"
you don't have any replies cuz we don't want to admit we're disturbed
It’s not even disturbing
@@Yourweird812it is a little bit. Purposely though of course.
It’s obscure as hell
Well, I'll be dambed. I was rather comfortable before being jarred into flashbacks of memories I had forgotten for years. Guess I'll eat cheese in the dark now.
It’s scary how anyone can have a kid. Not everyone is fit to be a parent.
And this country (America) tries to keep it that way.
No education on how to raise children
No choice in having the child or not
Little support in taking care of children
Expenses of even having a child are ridiculous
Less funding for orphanages
Foster children returned then being "put back on the market" online
It's scary how we allow this to happen and point fingers at the parents when the real problem is the system we live in.
@dzthfbn cbvm Even before that, there's no sex education. In middle school and high school, the only sex education I got was about STDs and abstinence. This is in New York, which ranks 20th in education (according to USNews). Imagine the education people in Alabama, Missouri, and New Mexico, which ranks in the bottom in education got.
@@MakeSureYouCleanUp in fact, nobody wants to be the villain, humanity is just a marionette of what's controlling it, happiness, sadness or even madness, induced by what's taking over us at the certain moment, having a low wage and having to grow up your child with all your efforts is probably very stressful and you're going to have to stand this for years, it can be quite nice for someone but most people will not have it easy
It’s a piece of them not you mind your business and worry about your kids
It’s a piece of them not you mind your business and worry about your kids
When the bedroom door brings you more joy than your family you know shits bad
Too real
EXCELLENT WORK. YOUR EVERY DAY THEORIST DISTURBING CHILD NEGLECT
I spent most of my childhood and adolescence in my bedroom because it was usually the only safe place I had. I still get nightmares of someone trying to get into my room and whenever someone is at the front door I immediately go into fight or flight. I have agoraphobia now and will not go outside unless I absolutely have to.
I had agoraphobia for decades because I was punished for doing normal things . Violent misogynistic father and a narcissistic mother .
@@dancingnature This. I remember being punished for the dumbest things. When I was a kid, I nearly got grounded when the Xbox we had gave out just cause it was old. Whenever I got a bad grade, I got punished. Well that didn’t make me perform any better, just made me better at hiding them. I was always burnt out because on top of school, they had me doing Baseball, scouts, karate, piano lessons, and guitar lessons. And when I couldn’t take it anymore and said I needed to drop karate or baseball so I had more time to myself, I was scolded and told “fine, if you want to drop one of those, you’re picking something to replace it.” So that just taught me the only way for my parents to accept me is for me to keep myself so busy that I’m constantly burnt out. And even when I did that, it didn’t help because my performance would be terrible after a month or two of going all out. Which led to more scolding or backhanded comments. And now that I’m grown they wonder why I never have time for them. My dad tried, but you don’t win against my mom. You just do a little better each time. And she’s never said it out loud, but it’s very clear that she would have preferred I been a girl.
Edit: that was weird, I’m sorry. Did not mean to just dump my purse out like that on someone I don’t know😅😂
The saddest thing that has pretty much been pointed out is that the big fantasy she has of her family is "We see you, Opal". Not only is that the height of her ambitions, but she doesn't even use her own name, not only can nobody else see her, she can't see herself
i did something similar as a child, and i continue to do this today
i had assumed it was some sort of dissociative disorder
@@rat2131Keen. But seemingly the same or at the least a very similar result is presently emerging in society these days. Each cycle of parents over time became more and more neglectful. Public school & TV grew into the ideal baby sitters. Now it's smart phones.
I know a few people who changed their names as adults because of childhood trauma leaving them with bad associations. It can be a way to reclaim yourself as your own person outside of who your parents wanted to see.
And I don't think the blame can just be pinned on technology. These adults have a responsibility to their children, to cope with their own trauma instead of placing such impossible expectations and perceptions on a kid. The internet has given many people a new escape, both by learning that their experiences aren't the norm and by finding other people to connect with and build healthy connections to.
So sorry yall u went through that, honestly that’s something I love God for, because he said he would never leave us nor forsake, and is that perfect father we always dreamed of, then the fact that he would give us a way to heaven through Christ, it’s all to good with that relationship hope u guys join the family, but ur amazing and I love yall 💕
@@larsatticus6807Fantastic comment. Thank you 🙏🏼
Its upsetting how common childhood trauma and neglect is
Neglect is so common. But not a lot of people think it's as serious as other forms of abuse.
@@beab8738 I do agree that abuse has lost a lot of it's meaning due to overuse. Though that's not what abuse used to mean. Most people use the word abuse when they should use mistreatment. When I say abuse, I refer to the actual definition and main types of abuse. Like physical, sexual, emotional, mental, and neglect are the main types of abuse. But neglect is often overlooked and ignored.
@@that1person695 Abuse is a synonym of mistreatment. There are many definitions of abuse...
@@rebeccacummings6697 True. But it doesn't hold the same power as abuse.
Goes to show how similar we really are. And that it might be a sign to make a change
He's basically a genius. One guy to make the story, the acting, the visuals, the music, the everything basically. That's a lot of talent in just one guy.
Well if you watch the credits, it actually wasn't all him, he did have help :), but he definitely was the main integral part for sure
too bad i rarely understand something deep unless explained in detail like this
YES I love him, and after I found him on RUclips I found opal and I realized my family is the same but not as dramatic, family- divorced, dad only cares about himself and was definitely damaged by a cheating ex wife, mother always drank and smoked pot, never spent time with her kids, stepdad literally just doesn’t exist in my life he is kinda just there, he knows nothing about me personally, stepmom is a Karen…. Nuf said was always neglected as a kid so I stay away from anything ending in ship 😂, might not sound good but I’m happy and I moved away
@@tonitski I think it is a good thing, from what I read all the comments that says that it relates to them are because they had shitty families.
@@canobenitez not really,my family isn't perfect too,my mother is one of those types that shouldn't be let to have kids,and i hate it when she act all innocent of all the harm she have done to us,and father is always out of the picture bcos of work...but i guess i do have to be grateful bcos i have the necessities in life,but do I really have to suffer like that?my younger self didn't deserved to suffer like that, nobody does, just for a chance to have a better life.
oh well.
Its the fact her immersion is broken at the end, that's the saddest part to me. She has to now face the fact the family she thought she had, doesn't exist.
I always noticed this detail in this short story that everyone seems to overlook. Claire quite literally is trying to mimic Opal’s look, from the hair down to the clothes she wears. It really goes to show how badly Claire needs a better family.
I just realized Claire's hair isn't in pigtails, at least not in hairties or anything. She's wearing her hair down, just adjusted to be more to the sides like Opal's. The only way Claire would be able to do that was if her hair was extremely greasy or wet, which it most likely is since she lives in an abusive household where she probably doesn't have many chances to shower or bathe.
We never see choosing what to wear or how to do her hair. They both also happened to be blonde, I just assumed it was coincidental.
Also they had to look similar in order for the audience to make the connection that Claire was Opal, though personally I feel like if Opal was visually different to Claire, it would be more sad because Claire has to distance herself from reality even more to identify as Opal.
the mom is also blonde, the dad has a similar hair, and the grandpa is a bit fat like the real ones, I think it´s not Claire trying to be Opal, but everyone has an opinion
real tragedy of the story thats well over most of your heads due to benefitting from this system, is the fact that its pointing out how eurocentric culture places no value on the well being of people and only prioritizes those willing to abuse and neglect.
What I feel like might be overlooked is that opal/claire says absolutely nothing in the whole vid
One thing i think you missed was that the little girl was drooling at the idea of the burger. If you notice a little bit of drool hits the top of the burger. Which could also point towards your idea of the child being malnourished. Obviously both physically but also psychologically.
perhaps the reason she dances with the burger instead of trying to eat it is because a small part of her sees that its not actually food just the idea of the food.
That droplet was sweat from the father I believe, you can see him sweating right afterwards
that was sweat
@@iglusmulmus5171 onto the burger?
@@esprero i thought i seen it drip on the top of the burger
My mother had four children , I was the youngest one that was neglected. I was molested by my uncle and my cousins when I was young child . If I would say anything I would get threatened by them or get a beating . I believe if my mother did pay attention to me she would of known a difference on my behavior when the molestation was going on. When I turned 18 I felt she was relieved that I left . I'm 45 years old til this day she still doesn't know what happened to me. I am a broken man that lives alone ,I have a problem with anyone touching me i dont trust anyone ,i live in a void . Til this day it never leaves me . I will choose to live alone til the day I die . Please don't neglect your children , every child deserves to be protected and loved.
You poor thing. You deserve company. You deserve to feel safe. Please keep looking for help because you can get better. Your past does not define you and god loves you. ❤
damn man
2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. 6 And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.
Isaiah 66:10 Rejoice ye with Jerusalem, and be glad with her, all ye that love her: rejoice for joy with her, all ye that mourn for her: 11 That ye may suck, and be satisfied with the breasts of her consolations; that ye may milk out, and be delighted with the abundance of her glory. 12 For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the Gentiles like a flowing stream: then shall ye suck, ye shall be borne upon her sides, and be dandled upon her knees. 13 As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem. 14 And when ye see this, your heart shall rejoice, and your bones shall flourish like an herb: and the hand of the LORD shall be known toward his servants, and his indignation toward his enemies. 15 For, behold, the LORD will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire. 16 For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many.
KJV
The new versions are perversions.
God knows your pain. Seek His help. May The grace and peace of God, The Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
Umm, instead of quoting half of Bible, I will just wish you all the best. Please take care. And one thing to remember - you deserve to be happy too. I'm just telling you that because I met somebody who was feeling just as empty as you and he told me he would gladly just die. He thought he didn't deserve anything good and that he was a nobody. To this day I sometimes have to remind him that he is important.
I don't know you, but look, you are important and you deserve good in your life too.
Jesuschrist preachers can be so annoying.
Seeing Claire daydream about a different family hit really close to my heart. When I was little I would watch Annie and pray that one day I would be saved like she had been
Oof, dreaming of being an orphan and finding a new place to live...
I had that, too. Additionally, all my favorite books were about kids who survived some sort of calamity and suddenly had to survive on their own, outside of civilization and society. And I had absolutely no further thoughts on this pattern at the time.
The scariest part about growing up like this is when you have your own child and realize how hard it’s going to be to make sure you don’t pass down your trauma and how seeming easy it was for your loved ones to neglect you
I'm on the curb on thinking my goal is to have a kid and strive for a healthy family, but *I know* I am not ready for this emotionally yet
It pains me knowing my father set me down this path and still cannot admit anything
@@jakespencer6781My mother recently admitted to neglecting me, my dad was always at work. I don’t blame my parents because they lost two children before I was born (one a terrible tragedy and one a full term stillborn). They were not ready for me and I was passed along to anyone who would take me while they busied themselves with anything to take away their pain. I had children and vowed to be there for them, only working part time jobs when they were in school. I’m not a perfect parent and made some regrettable mistakes along the way, but they’ve grown into happy, functional and well adjusted adults. My boys tell me that I did a good job and that’s why they’re the way they are. They’re confident in themselves too 😂 Don’t be discouraged about having kids for fear of doing what your parents did. Yes kids are hard work at times but are also unique and amazing individuals You can break the cycle!
That's why I refuse to have kids. I grew up being taught that discipline is insults and beatings, and while I know those things to be wrong, I have too much anger and too little patience. I would try my best if I had a kid, but trying isn't enough.
I'd like to push back a bit on that, at least in my own experience, the most crushing thing is when you have your own child and realizing just how easy it is to NOT treat your child like that. If anything, you go through processing grief and anger, denial, all of it, all over again because you realize just how much you love your child and would do anything for their benefit including changing yourself if you have to.... and how your own parents didn't do it. It just makes that pain even more real, again. I grew up in not great circumstances, alcoholic father and emotionally checked out mother... I went through a lot I won't get into, but once I became an adult I went through the therapy and put in the work for myself and I met a great guy. He was so great, that he made me start thinking about what a family would look like. As terrified as I was to repeat anything I have ever gone through, I wanted a family and love so badly... I jumped. Got married, got pregnant, and the very second my child was placed in my arms I was reborn as well. I had a strength and fire I never knew, and with that came a reality I had never known.... and that hurt so badly. I waited all my life to have this and here it is, except I am the mother, not the child, the role I play is different... but my god is it amazing. I have healed in so many ways since her birth, and I have grown, and my lifes purpose now is to ensure that my child has everything I never had emotionally. I make sure I continue to put in the work on myself, to keep checking to make sure I'm doing better, to always be humble enough to know I can do better always.... and my child is so unbelievably loved and happy. She'll never know the life I had, and I did that, and I'm so very proud of myself and happy I have this life I always wanted. If there is anything I could tell you as someone that came out on the other side is, its totally 100% possible if you put in the work to heal yourself and you find a good, healthy, moral partner to do it with. Never be afraid. :)
@@Cuntspiracy2.0 wow, well done, you're doing amazing! I needed to read that. Thank you ❤
She even has the billboards lights reflect in her eyes in the beginning of the film. A small detail that I think adds so much more to the delusion Clair lives in and the horrific reality of her life.
I also noticed that at the start when you see the imaginary dad, he has the same expression as the billboard, but then snaps to life, and clairs expression is the one she was making in her room
Another side of child neglect: I was 12 and I didn't know how to use a knife and fork, how to tie my shoes or my own hair, how to wash my clothes or cutlery, nor how to prepare any food or drink for myself. I still even drank from baby cups and a baby bottle because i had never taught to transition out of it. I learnt everything from periods of public humiliation and observing others the few hours I was allowed to be outside. My school friends were crucial for me to learn common language, basic problem-solving skills and the overall behaviour a person my age should have. As an adult, I still feel stunted and behind from everyone else
Omg, that hurts to read. It took til 16 to learn how to brush my teeth from a friend teaching me. I also feel stunted, still admiring toys and bad hygiene, I only hope to improve.
Good God. That's messed up
@@randomstranger8938there’s nothing wrong with liking toys! why do you think adults collect them? you should focus on your hygiene, though. it’s as easy as taking a quick shower, using some deodorant, and brushing your teeth in the morning and night. ❤❤❤
oh my .That's horrible hope everything gets only better
i’m so sorry you had to go through that, i hope everything gets better for you and i’m so proud of you for learning even the small things. you have a bright future ahead of you, don’t let anyone ever make you think otherwise
I noticed that Claire's face gets more wrinkly throughout the short, then smooths out when she's back in her imaginary family
Not sure if you were implying this but I'm gonna add my two cents anyways. I think this is meant to symbolize stress building up as she makes her way through her house. People always say wrinkles can be caused by stress so it would make sense. When she loses the wrinkles when shes back with her imaginary family it makes sense with that explanation of the wrinkles, that imaginary family being her way to cope with the stress.
also, her face is half the size of the 'real' opal from the comercial. She is malnourished. It is so heartbreaking
@@weilyonTOPon that same train of thought I made a quick stop to the idea that childhood trauma especially neglect forces us to grow up too soon so the wrinkles can also show the metaphorical aging she’s going through just by being in the house
@@weilyonTOP It could also represent how Claire sees both of the families. With the IMAGINARY family, they care for her in the way she wants her real family to. They don't have issues to project onto her, they actively acknowledge her- They're smoothed out because they're what a perfect family looks like to her (which is also backed up by her using the name 'Opal' and imagining what they look like from the billboard). Versus her REAL family, which we can see is in utter turmoil and neglectful towards her, only asking for attention from her and never genuinely giving it back. Their wrinkles represent their flaws.
It makes me happy people still talk about Opal. This short means so much to me!
?
@@opalyxe1 the kid with pig tails is opal/claire
smae
@@opalyxe1 ohh, your username is Opal too ^^
@@cleverr77 Yeah... the kid with the pigtails is Opal, not Claire ;_;
great video! i always interpreted the line “your troubles are miles away” as literal, i.e. claire’s troubles are literally miles away from the burger shop from the perspective of the billboard family
also a neat detail is whenever claire is in the fantasy house her eyes are reflecting the lights from the billboard
you are absolutely right! i forgot to mention that detail about the lights in the billboard. i wanted to talk about that but it must've slipped my mind during the script process.
also the troubles are miles away is definitely about her problems being miles away. super cool detail! this short is so awesome :)
@@theorist This reccomended video just, feels personally targeted-abusive Narcissistic mother. wish wed talk here about accountability/mental illness next thats what im trying to crack how its a thing for certain ''ill'' people to be fine but others become jerks--its in part their own fault but to what extent and when? At what point is someone just a bad person/
Yeah
I interpreted it as also being that her troubles might be isolation from people who could love and help her- the billboard hinting the distance from the burger joint in the corner would mean that she's always reminded of the distance between her and her image of an ideal life- her troubles are "Miles Away", the horrible little footnote that tells her how alone she is with the monsters she has to call family.
The number of details and how accurate Opal is stunning. It makes me wonder if Jack Stauber himself experienced this trauma.
The best artists reflect their reality.
Probably
his style does seem to have some of this implied in his songs
Art imitates life
Of course he did. U don't make something like this just because.
This thumbnail has haunted me for months now I'm finally watching this video.
Same I only just had the courage to click😭
The “we see you opal” line hit me hard, as a child I felt invisible, just wanted to be seen by my family. So hearing her fantasy family say “we see you” really struck a cord. Very relatable indeed, childhood neglect really leaves a mark.
I felt that way for the majority of my childhood. Not only invisible to my family, but everyone around me except for a few select people. I’m still learning how to cope with feeling seen and ‘existing’ to the people around me because it’s still all so new to me.
I really hope you’re in a better place now. You are seen and heard.
Yeah that part made me cry...
My basic needs were taken care of growing up but the emotional neglect still makes me think people only pay attention to me as long as I'm giving them something they want.
And I'm hyperindependent now because you can help them but they won't help you. Even when that's not the case, it's still hard to shake the feeling that it is.
The majority of my childhood was really similar. I had a mother who was a drug addict and only talked to me when she needed something. She never cared about when I was hurting.
I did have a lot of support from my dad, and he helped me any way he could, but that neglect from my mom still leaves me seeking love and affection from her to this day now that I've been out of her house for a few years now.
oh same-im gonna go cry after things when i read these types of comments i think 'are you sure was it that deep' yeah it was---we can all use dedicated time to cry ig
You know, when i was 12 i felt so old i had a narcisstic parent and i was counting the days to when id be to old to run away to foster care--and how the older i was the less likely id be to be adopted-age was a value when you didnt have security, it meant the abuser had more responsibility for you-less they could legally abuse you without pinning it on you or spinning it that youre a 'teenager'
The fact that the fake family is not saying things like we love you opal, or we care about you, there just saying that they see her, it gives me goosebumps sometimes.
Sometimes being told that you’re seen is a comforting thing, like they recognize what you’re going through and your not alone. But in this case it’s just Claire’s mind begging for the bare minimum of positive affection
i find them not saying i love you, as like, her abusive family says i love you but she doesn’t know what it means, because she doesn’t feel it.
This kid's telling of love was probably very twisted, so she doesn't like the word anymore.
@@DuckNamedKarmareal
the way claire tiptoed in her own house and her visible terror at any interactions with her family hit way too close to home. i physically flinched when she stepped on the chip bag.
I’m sorry you couldn’t feel safe at home. Hope it helps to know you were not alone.
Me and my brother both still walk on our tip toes purely out of a learned habit.
@@chrism8180my calves are ripped from doing this all my life lol
pick me
@@SSSSSSSS130nigga wtf are u talkin about
Terrifying that my maladaptive daydreaming was escaping from reality, and not enjoying it.
I have a lot to think about
The final part with the song "It's alright" really gave me a sinking feeling to my stomach. I'm lucky I live in a sane household, but on an artistic level it really feels like a final thought from you and Claire, repeating to yourself that everything is fine, while the trauma, the demons of your life keep on screaming, or your inner self is the one screaming. Great choice in detail and execution on the ending. Keep up the good work!
Glad someone noticed that :)
It took me 3 minutes to draw that ending piece. I drew it as if I was a 5 year old just having fun.
Happy that I was able to get that across with just music and visuals
3k likes for 3 days, wow!
Did you feel fear did you feel a real form a pain through it be that mental or physical did you feel ugly inside, unwanted, maybe like you belong no where maybe you wished you were somewhere else maybe you felt like you shouldn’t be on this plant I’m not trying to attack you I promise I just feel people shouldn’t claim to understand something just because of a video I’m happy you are trying to understand others hardships that’s good but from my perspective it’s invalidating for somebody to say they understand abuse because they watched a video on it and btw I’m not saying you haven’t been abused abuse can show itself in many forms however being abused by your family is very different from say your friends bullying you I guess all I’m saying is this is one of those things that you aren’t gonna understand truly unless you have been through or have been very close to somebody deeply affected by it and even hell I find myself questioning my past and my abuse every single night I guess if you wanna try to understand I can give you guys my side of abuse and how it’s been for me trying to work and be an adult in my later life I already partially explain what emotions you may feel but I’d like to tell you guys what my biggest struggle is and how it effects me every day I can not trust anybody and no it is not the same for you as me I know it’s not I have never told somebody about this and had them relate to everything other than one single person when I say I do not trust I mean I don’t trust your movements I don’t trust what your saying I’m constantly questioning and analyzing trying to figure if you intend to hurt me or others and it wouldn’t just be for you my friends get the same treatment I honestly don’t know how they stay my friends the amount of fights we’ve gotten into because I don’t feel like I can trust a single thing anybody says no matter how close we are I feel invisible to them even when I’m talking to them words can becoming out of my mouth they can be responding but I still do not trust them I do think they are actually there for more it’s difficult to put into words anyways I truly didn’t intend to make anybody feel bad I just wanted to maybe spread some awareness maybe someday I can be close enough and trust somebody enough to tell them what happened to tell them how I feel and to here what they think and feel and truly believe it id also like to say if you know somebody being abuse stay close to them they need you more than you think and a lot of the time in my experience people who have been abused are extremely loyal to those that show they will stick around and not hurt them
Anyways cheers thanks for letting me talk I had a tough day so it was kinda nice to talk about this even if it wasn’t with anybody
@@it_will_be_ok. MAKE IT FOUR
@@theorist What kind of neglect did you go through? I had a narcissistic parent who had issues with emotional lability, she would be all over the place. Depending on the time i talked with her im either the best son in the world or a disgrace to the human race. She wasn't narcissistic in the traditional sense, shes like the old lady in this video. She wants to be taken care of emotionally while emotionally abusing others from time to time.
Im surprised no one has noticed that in the begining sequences "Opal" has four lights in her eyes, when they go off as she steps out the window, they disappear. Only to come back again as Clair looks out her own window and realizes it's all an illusion. (Most likely symbolizing the billboard.) Just an interesting detail I saw and wanted to share
Those were reflections from the 4 ceilings lights above the bed in her room
i think those were the billboard lights, might be symbolism for how whenever she stares at the billboard she goes into her dream world.
@@e_i_e_i_bro nope, if they were they would've been on the parents eyes in the begining, and the hallway light are in 1's. Most definitely the billboard
Everyone in the original video's comments noticed this, but yeah. This short really is quite the story.
God it's really the little things like not admitting faults. My family wasn't as bad as Claire's but just how they potrayed how alone and afraid Claire felt in her own home. It kinda took me back honestly.
Not feeling safe in your own home harmful in a way I didn't understand. It's insecure attachment, meaning you don't want to leave but you don't feel comfortable where you are. It's like belonging to nowhere.
Honestly.
@@bunnywavyxx9524 Absolutely. I've experienced this to the max. I can testify that when you're an only child, and have a single, narcissistic parent, it scars you for life.
repent to Christ God
I created fairtale lands in my head as a kid. To the point where it was so obvious to people around me they would mock and laugh at me for being "such an airhead" all the time. Just sit in one spot all day long dreaming of better ways to live. I still do it when things get tough for me, when things are too hard to face. It's my go to response that my brain takes. It worked back then and now I have to fight it in order to get anything done in real life. If I let it take over me I would never leave my bed, I would stay laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling dreaming my life away.
IVE HEARD ALL THE SONGS MENTIONED AT THE BEGINNING AND NEVER KNEW THEY WERE BY HIM
same
Just something I’d like to add on: a lot of times in neglectful households a child is force to be an adult a lot faster than they’re ready to. they have to make judgement based on what they think is best rather than the adult. You can see this with Clare/Opal and the grandfather when the grandfather says “don’t try to hide my cigarettes again.” And “it’s cruel to try to help someone that doesn’t need help.”
Too true. Some times they are forced to grow up fast but not properly so by the time others catch up they are the "dysfunctional" and under developed ones
@@bovinejoannie9429 a quote I've heard recently that has stuck with me is "over developed children create under developed adults"
My neglectful mother would brag “he just raised himself!” Lol. No one else was doing it.
@@andoriannationalist3738 yep. I think we burn out early, it's a form of emotional burnout.
@@IhaytFukkingsocialmediaserious trauma damages the brain. Child abuse is sick
The mother saying "Mama needs a little girl to hold up her hair" made me tear a bit. She constantly exposes Claire to her drug use and forces her to clean up her mess mentally and physically.
horrifying
wait what does she mean hold up her hair???
@@yummytella to hold her hair as she pukes so it won't get dirty
@@yummytella it's to help her vomit
@@yummytella hold back her hair so that when she vomits from excessive alcohol intake, her hair won’t get dirty.
I think it’s sickening how accurate this short is. It’s relatable in many ways and it scares me
If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives.
@@twingames8499 god can’t hold us, god can’t feed us, religion is a life-savor for some but isn’t a cure-all to life ailments. Have a blessed day
@@astronaughty5366 "We can't expect god to do all the work."
@@twingames8499 God's a pretty lousy dad.
@@5ynthet1c nah. Just seek him out you’ll see.
As someone who has never had to deal with this I, as someone who doesn't cry was almost in tears watching this... I have never been neglected like this, I have been pressured about being the best I can be to the point that I have anxiety but, I have never been neglected to the point that I'm terrified of not having a meal or something along those lines which I thank God for. I've always acted like such a victim but after seeing this I now understand that my life, in reality, has been a cakewalk or close to it. I wish I hadn't acted like a victim for so long. Of course, I knew that child neglect was a thing but I had never truly realized the extent to which child neglect affected the populous. To everyone going through something like this, I may not be able to help very much seeing as this is a YT comment but know that there are people to help and they will help you.
My best to everyone
I understand where you are coming from, although I think it's still ok to admit that our problems are not okay and they cause us pain even if it is a lesser degree of pain than some others have experienced. It's still evil even if it is a lesser degree of it than others have experienced and you aren't being spoiled or arrogant when it effects you. For me, my parents aren't alchoholics or physically abusive at all, but I still recognize that the severe childhood psychological and emotional neglect is still a problem and is just as valid for me to treat it as one as it would be for one who has parents who are physically abusive, because it still did effect my mental health negatively, so it isn't okay. Be gentle to yourself and don't be too hard on yourself, just cause it isn't as bad as someone else's doesn't mean you problem isn't an issue and valid to know it as one.
I always used to second guess if my childhood was really THAT bad or if I was just being whiney. What allowed me to move beyond all doubt is that I cannot not cry listening to parenting advice or childhood development content.
Hearing that a child should always be safe or things like that just hits so hard. It’s like a big “it’s not your fault”
i was such a sympathetic child i eventually forced myself to be apathetic because everything HURT ;-;
now i am emotionless and dont react to anything
though i felt something watching this...
what is it? :(
@@Bushwhack-lmao_xD I understand what you mean. You were hurt so you decided to close off your sympathy so other people wouldn't walk all over you. That's valid. You were protecting yourself from pain. Do you think what you felt watching this was empathy for the child that suffered like you? Or maybe you had empathy for yourself? Or just reconnecting with the deep feelings of your past suffering? Since you were emotionally rejected, I suggest accepting yourself and begin to talk to yourself like other people should've, with gentleness and dignity and importance to your own thoughts and emotions. Find people that treat you with high importance. You didn't deserve the rejection. You deserve love, my friend. Do good to yourself and be open to the emotions and thoughts you have and take time to recognize and understand them.
@@donteatmecows8265 the opening and the ending song made me feel this weird emotion
the rest of it was "wow so cool!"
and i know im loved
yet i dont feel loved
every day i get a good meal, a hug, a pat on the back, affirming words,
yet it doesnt feel like love :/
As a victim of child neglect, Claire's terror when her family speaks to her reminds me of the many times when I'd hear my mom's car pulling into the driveway and be stricken with a deep, terrible fear. It reminds me of my sister, when she was younger, telling me that when she would watch tv and see happy families playing with their kids and wondering why that would never happen with her. It reminds me of the days I'd spend sticking my nose into manga and games to go somewhere else - *anywhere* else, to a different world where my problems didn't exist and where I could be a hero. There's so much more...
These children are real, and it's tragic.
Damn, I hope things have gotten more cleared up for you now
@@charmsly9506 I'm in a better place now - struggling with the terrors of adulthood instead, lol
@@COFFEEWSUGA Thats good to hear that you're in a better place. This video and all these comments are so depressing man
I can really relate to the terror of hearing a parents car pulling into the driveway. I’m sad that I’m not alone in knowing that feeling, but there’s also comfort in knowing someone understands.
Wishing you all the best in life. Glad to read that you’re in a better place. I’m rooting for you.
Reminds me of hearing the key hole and me and my siblings running to hide.
Seeing the dads actual face just scares me so much. The way he thinks that he’s so much better than everyone else when in reality he just is so terrifying but he convinced himself he wasn’t. Gives me goosebumps… (idk if it’s just me but he looks like the chef from little nightmares😭)
Remind me of my stepdad he think everyone loves him and he is such a great person but everyone runs to get away when he comes around literally dreading that he comes around its sad when u realize our parents are like this from they neglect and trauma but its a cycle literally
i think it’s more just him struggling to convince himself that he’s attractive because of the insecurities he has about his disfigurement, which is pretty realistic. it’s just something that happens when you delve that deep into self loathing, suddenly everything just becomes about you and how other people see you.
The mom's quick flashback looks like she did something to the father and dialed 911, so perhaps she threw someting at him and destroyed his face.
oh god ur so right he DOES look like the chefs,,,
They all kinda look like the chefs tbh..aprt from clair
Opal staring at a photo of another family is a good way to portray the reason so many people are addicted to social media.
That's such an accurate and amazing analogy.
bro that's so real 😨
Yeah
Yeah but it’s not about social media 🧐
Yep...
14:25 Hey man, I for one am very grateful for the effort you put in ,making this video, at least. I think I recognize your voice. I, we, can relate. I"m sure. you are not alone.
Ugh the mother truly hits me hard. I like how she said “I feel terrible for all of the things I-….I feel terrible….” She almost apologized for her own wrongdoings but caught herself. The mother is a narcissist too refuses to admit she did anything wrong.
It does help highlight that there are two different kinds of narcissism. The grandiose narcissist would be the father, while the mother would fall under the vulnerable narcissist category. Both really only care about themselves but in different ways.
unlike the father, the mother dosent truly believe she has done nothing wrong so im not really sure i would call her a narcissist.
@@lyrica_overdoseshe would still technically be a narcissist. If she truly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong, she is still only thinking about herself and her own struggles, not about how it could have affected Claire in any way. That would still be narcissism, just more vulnerable like the previous person said. I have a parent like that, who is a mix of both grandiose and vulnerable. It’s not really fun.
@@cookieslovecupcakes5844 i think you misunderstood my comment, i meant that the mother is aware of her wrongdoings.
sorry if i worded it wrong.. english is not my first language
@@lyrica_overdose narcissists can be aware of their wrongdoings and still be narcissists
This is so upsetting. The fact that Claire is forced to live in a fantasy to escape her neglectful family is upsetting enough, but the way every member of her family only came to her for attention. Also, as YourEverydayTheorist said, Claire tiptoes around her house to avoid interacting with her family. I think many people can relate to this, which is why it hits so close to home. Claire’s situation is the reality of a lot of kids, and it’s awful.
Can definitely relate to this. I grew up in a household (looking back now) where I was the family therapist for everyone. I think I was the scapegoat so it’s like you are put down and looked down on yet when people need something they come running to you expecting you to fix their problems/listen to them. You become the emotional dumping ground for everyone (except for my dad who was emotionally distant to everyone). I’m also a very emotional person so that’s probably why I ended up emotionally taking care of everyone. I didn’t even realize this was neglect or how unhealthy my family was until the last few years.
I found out that i was emotionally neglected and when he explained that she daydreamed about having a nice family when looking at the billboard i realized that’s what I’d do. I would just sit there and stare off a lot as a kid (still do) and just imagined myself hanging out with my mom or dad as a family and just overall being happy. I do have a loving boyfriend who has helped with my troubles. And i don’t do it as much, but the fact that my brain still wants to? Especially when I am under any stress is concerning.
The fact that when her perfect family sings all they say is "we see you" and "hi opal" not even a love you. This tells us that opal cant even imagine getting a I love you from her family. Her biggest achievement in life is just to be acknowledged.
(EDIT) Not to be that guy but OMG 7.4K LIKES THANK YOU GUYS!
💔💔😭😭😭
This just made me realize that my neglect was actually pretty bad. Huh. I just thought I didn't "need" love, just being seen.
@@DeathMelodiesbro u messed up childhood
@@DeathMelodiesi mean have
@@DeathMelodieswait
I noticed that in Claire’s dream, when she picks up the burger, she dances. Of course, it’s probably because she doesn’t know that she’s supposed to eat the burger, but I also think it’s because it’s the one thing she can’t do at her house. She can’t dance because it’ll draw negative attention to her and she’ll be abused. She’s not allowed to be a kid and be loud, instead she has to keep quiet and walk on eggshells inside the house.
Edit: I have to mention that when she dances, she looks so genuinely happy.
I also believe that the reason she dances with the burger is possibly to imitate the billboard where "opal" dances with the burger or is shown not eating the burger which makes Claire believe that's what burgers are for
Chair
Watching this, I just remembered how I was so anxious in going home when I was a kid, cause I had to wait for my dad to come home to see his current mental state. If he had a bad day, we had to be statues. Don’t catch his attention, don’t make a sound, couldn’t even laugh freely. Now, as an almost 22 year old, I realized it manifested in a lot of problems I currently have, and this video made me want to cry
Whoopsie, it just like my father, my father definitely that typical silent violence father who will punish you for every little triggers at his house, i remember we were hiding below the bed just avoid his outburst anger with my mom, and yet my mom, also with her own problems and neglect, only end up debating here, like a narc would do, both of them never care for their own beloved children, children are only disposable tool to make exucses of money and survival, my mom definitely have no skill navigating her adulthood, only end up putting agenda to me and my siblings, that every thing outside the house are bad, she's brainwashed me into ever believing people outside
Like those Narcissist who really afraid losing her supply, that's how my mom cope in adult hood, around 40 years moving into new city, and she never make anyfriends, racist, hate people, being negative and entitled, isolates me from any outside activity when I'm on my schooldays before, as a child i don't really understand this until it makes problem into me on my 30s.....
Double mask, Narcissist are so good on this one
Same
Dude, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can relate, only with my mom's ex-husband. They were married all throughout my middle school and high school years. I could feel my stomach turn every time I saw his truck come up the driveway, because of the exact reasons you described. Did he have a good day? Did one of his employees cause the family business a lot of grief or money? I would go to my room, put my headphones in, and not make myself known. That is so hard on a child, let alone a teen. :( I hope you get some relief and it was never your fault.
Holy shit this made me have a near spiritual realization on why I am who I am. It's not my fault, it's not my mother's fault, it's not my brother's fault, it's my absolute dumpsterfire of a "father figure"s fault. Im 2000000000000% sure that it was a good idea to completely cut him off. To anyone who is going through the same who is reading this, just know that they will be judged one day, And God may not be so merciful on their behalf.
The scene with the mom is so genuinely terrifying as she feels so real to how actual addicts behave. How she goes from calling Claire a “Good thing” to seemingly trying to hit her at the end. It’s just so brutal. Special Highlight to the line. “You and I don’t live Claire. We survive”. Feels like something an actual abuse addict would say.
She reminds me of my mom. 😅
Agreed, also I want to add that the line of 'you and I don't live Claire, we survive' for me personally shows/hints at how the mother is using her (maybe indirectly, passively, subliminally) to share her fate with her. My mother was abusive on a different kind of level, but what I realised after I broke contact with my family is how she always wanted to see me being involved/copying the same kind of feelings and states that she was in. It's a mixture of not being alone with it through having someone suffer a similar thing together with oneself, and also i think it works as sort of confirmation that one is not inherently wrong in how their life has turned out, because they somehow confuse the roles of parent and child to a point where 'If my child suffers the same kind of weakness than it is okay for me to portray that kind of weakness to them and need their help with it', also it doubles down as a justification as to why they where treated badly by their parents so they can stay in denial about why they are broken and troubled in the first place, they can tell themselves that 'this is just how things are' and their own unresolved trauma can more easily stay suppressed.
@@StandAloneSoul I’m sorry you had to go through that ❤️
As a victim of adverse childhood experiences and trauma, I can confirm that (my) life doesn't feel like a "living", it feels more of "surviving". I wanna live life but my traumatized brain only focuses on surviving...
“We survive” possibly means “I survive. My life is so hard that I can’t live I have to survive so that’s why my actions are justified” and “you survive. So I’m doing my job as a parent” 🙁
As a traumatized child myself, neglect was the least of my problems unfortunately, I grew up feeling like a victim. Now, I don't see it that way anymore. I am a survivor. My husband taught me how to love myself and realize that I don't need validation from anyone, I needed to validate myself. Letting go of the victim mentality was the most freeing feeling I ever had. It took years to finally understand it was not my fault. I hope that people who experience what I have, gain the strength to learn how to become a survivor, love themselves, and thrive. My family is basically four people. Me, my husband, our son and my husband's mom. She actually has a pretty big family but despite her having to raise her siblings she is still neglected and alienated by her family. I don't know why she doesn't give up on them like I did with mine. Giving up on them was the best decision I ever made. It's hard to feel disappointed when you don't expect anything from them. I'm not saying that I am no longer effected or don't have triggers, but that it's so much easier to deal with them when they arise. The water of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Make your own family. God bless you and anyone who reads this. I hope that you find peace and love.
I personally believe Claire developed Maladaptive Daydreaming as a way to cope. It’s a trauma response to multiple things Claire suffers from (neglect, boredom, abuse and more).
As someone who has it myself for other reasons than Claire, I find the experience of the beginning and end quite relatable. When you latch onto something so hard you pretend you’re a part of it-you become Opal, not Claire, with a far better desired life, you’ll obviously feel better, even if for a few hours.
But then when you realise you’re not, finding your hair isn’t pigtails and you’re just stuck in your room and head, pretending, it often feels like being doused in cold water. Whether you know it’s not real or think it is, it’s disappointing when you’ve been that deep in and get jostled back by and to reality.
I couldn’t imagine being in this situation, though; it’s clearly just a constant cycle of coming back and going again.
as a daydreamer myself, I to believe this theory, I do this everyday.
Yes this happens to me everyday especially when i look out the window...
as a fellow maladaptive daydreamer- honestly can't tell if being aware of it or not is better- not that it matters ultimately
personally, still heavily stuck in survival mode despite being free for almost 2 years now & i am only becoming aware of most of my coping mechanisms now; realizing the habit of avoiding reality was a heavy hitter
random side note : i've never actually watched through this art before; so i'm still catching up to theories & ideas regarding it-
it's already stressful getting halfway through it-
Wow! Growing up in abuse, I also maladaptive daydreamed constantly but didn’t realize why until now. It is like cold water. Also when your daydreams become so consistent i find it’s easy to develop intense anxiety surrounding the daydream world ( I.e anxiety around neglecting or abandoning the world, real emotional impacts caused by daydreams or the daydream ‘rules’).
if you take away the situation, it's kinda like trying to stop dissociating this way
(maladaptive daydreaming is basically just a different flavor of dissociation)
like, you dissociate for a long while
you forget
you remember
you become stressed/bored/etc
you do it again
a cycle, in all it's agonizing glory
claire is most definitely doing this, there's no way she isn't, really
I love the realization when at first you think Opal (Claire) is scared when she's in the house because she isnt Claire and these are people she doesn't know only to realize it is her house and she is Claire but the abuse she went through has made her so scared of her own home like she's a stranger to it
Omg wow,you explained literally the thing that happened in the video. Woah. Oh my gosh. What incredible insight. I'm sure It took much brain power to type all that. Stupendous.
@@theincrediblefella7984 They literally just said about how they felt about the realization you get after watching it the first time and then watching it again. Why do you have to be so negative? Are you having a bad day or something?
@@bubblegum6753 I detest when people are being obvious. It makes them look stupid and I happily point it out. Why are you complaining about it? Are you having a bad day or something?
@@theincrediblefella7984 why are you so heated for no reason get a job or go outside or something
@@turtle8231 what a weak minded retort. Calling out stupidity does not mean I lack a life. Wtf even is your comment lol
I also interpreted Claire's fear of the billboard lights as a fear of being in the spotlight. From my own experiences, my neglect affected me so much that when I did get any type of attention or recognition, i would experience extreme anxiety because i was not use to actually getting attention or validation from anyone. I had a full blown anxiety attack when my friend was complimenting my accomplishments in front of others that i screamed loudly at her to stop. -
(Can you imagine how everyone looked at me...)
To me, Claire's fear of the billboard lights is her underlying fear of actually receiving that type of attention she craves because she simply is not used to it. So she runs from it even though that is what she wants.
I always had a fear that If anyone became aware of my life, they would take me away which for some reason I always thought that was a worse outcome than what I was going through so I'd hide away inside and avoid attention as much as possible.
Panic attacks in paradise
"If we want the rewards of being loved, we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known."
What you describe, is an anxious-avoidant attachment style in a person. Just becoming aware of Attachment theory, saved my life. Knowing how/why I feel unloveable and unworthy of love has given me so much hope emotionally. As a 30yr old man, I now understand that I do have a worth,, but it's above 0.00; I can build off of 0.01, and that comfort alone is so precious to me.
@Kindashitatlife wow, great insight. I'm turning 30 in a month, and I too JUST started to understand my worth and value. Little by little because I still get a small amount of anxiety. However, when it comes to love, I am slowly getting there.
i was also neglected as a child and it really made an impact in my life... the film is such a masterpiece but sadly relatable for me
I think what's most accurate about Opal as a character is her reaction to the trauma she's experiencing as a young child. Her brain has gone through so much it's literally escaping into the single thing known to her outside her household, which is the advertisement. Her brain morphed her reality in order for her to be able to live through her trauma.
Its those burgers man
--got crack in em...
how the little girl got so chubby the crack isaffecting her metabolism.
But, yeah. They represent hope i think why she imagines them as an escape.
Sometimes, dyfunctional families are made up of traumatized people who find themselves unable to keep a normal family structure due to their trauma. I do find that each adult in Claire's family are each trying to cope in a certain way due to something that happened in each of their lives in the past.
A disturbingly true reality.
The cycle that we all will try to break
That is my family.
My mom is a narcissist.
She got molested by a family member. She never went to therapy for it. Roman catholics saw therapy as weakness, I think?
My dad. His father was abusive and left the family when he was 8. He was a drug addict and has Bipolar disorder.
My sister is dead of a drug overdose.
I am always low-key suicidal. I have BPD and I am pretty sure that I have C-PTSD, but have only been diagnosed with BPD.
I was the scapegoat. My mom said "go ahead" when I said I was going to kill myself. She made fun of my appearance. She talked about herself and didn't care about a word that I said. She still doesn't. She stole thousands of dollars from me. She screamed in my face when I was crying as a teenager. She was disgusted that I dated the same sex. But I was fed and overweight, which is still neglectful to let your child be unhealthy. And I was 10 and making food for my sister. All she does is lie.
I'm in no contact.
My mom hasn't learned since my sister died. She didn't even know my sister. I knew my sister. My sister was the only person in my family who cared about me emotionally.
I'm 35 and still trying to accept the reality that my parents will never be loving and never care about anyone other than themselves. I'm afraid to be myself around people. My parents completely rejected me. I don't trust anyone.
@@androgynylunacyI hope your sister rests in peace and I truly hope you live in peace. Thank you for sharing your story.
A telltale sign is they always talk about the "family curse," not realizing that's it just generational trauma.
God, I started bawling my eyes out watching this.
I’m part of the kids who were raised by RUclips because of child neglect, and recognizing RUclipsrs as my own billboard hit me too hard.
I can also say I’m one of those children…it was my only safe space and comfort. And also my only moral compass since my parents didn’t really teach me it in good ways
Same bro
Same..
I can relate.
But my Escape was Going outside and coming back to watching youtube.
At least y’all had a platform and could see people going through the same situations or could interact thru comment sections with other ppl like you. My generation had to deal with it alone!
I wrote an EP called mirror party, that, was my "conception" of the self after having an insomnia episode. What I didn't know at the time was that I grew up in a narcissistic household. I conceptualized that everyone is just a mirror for each other. I think now, I realize, I was just a mirror for my family. I don't know who I am without being a mirror for someone else.
Terribly relatable. I used to pretend that my parents were actually aliens out there somewhere and they'd come back for me one day. It's good to see things like this represented though because neglect is often overlooked, especially emotional neglect.
It’s strange that there exist people who share some aspects of life so similar to yours. I used to pretend that teachers or coaches were my parents to be able to fall asleep at all as a child. There must be lifelong changes to a persons brain if they were emotion neglected during their development
even for me at 4 years old i had an iron belief that my mother couldnt be my real mother. at the time i didnt know why i felt that way.
I am genuinely floored by your comment as well as the replies to it. I thought I was alone. I used to fantasize that my "real parents" were vampires and they can't come out in the day time.
I used to pretend (and spend hours daydreaming) that my "parents" had stolen me from my actual birth parents when I was born and that instead, I actually belonged to a loving, wealthy middle class family that couldn't find me. I truly couldn't accept the fact (and still cant accept) that the people who are to be my parents, could have possibly actually had me. They're the worst people imaginable and if it were to come out that I had been taken as a baby it would explain so much.
This is why I was obsessed with the American Girl Doll Samantha when I was a kid. A poor, neglected girl who gets adopted by kindhearted rich people. My childhood dream.
I relate too much to this. As a child I was a maladaptive daydreamer. Constantly in my head wishing that my dreams were my reality.
same lol but my mom and dad are great
Same but because my parents were critical and only family member who cared my nan died at 12 when also dealing with bullies.
Pov you try to do an empathy bait about having thoughts in your head
@@hggpi TF does this mean
@@hggpi i relate to that but sadly in reality i know they will never come true nor will they realise let alone admit that they were in the wrong or i'm ruined because of them
My neglect was mostly just being set in front of a television and was never taught to do anything. In fact, it was encouraged that I do nothing but play video games or watch tv and stay quiet. Any emotion or any serious discussion was met with outbursts of anger and just complete narcissistic treatment. Imagine being in your 30's and having the gall to not only belittle your son, neglect him, and shame him for emotions, but to also talk shit to an 8 year old - consistently - as a fully grown man? Then mentally torture me to the point of multiple attempted suicides, major self harm issues, neglecting school work, dropping out of high school. I was given an ultimatum a month before my 18th birthday: drop out and get a better job, or move out when I turn 18. I ended up doing both. Moved out in 3 hours while my dad was at work.
I was pretty much a man child from 18 to 25 before reality hit me and I started taking accountability for life and changing. It's never too late to heal your voice, my friends.
I’ve left this comment up long enough. I will say that every thing in this world is as it should be, open for change that we must start. I’m pretty excited about what the future will bring like the plan for a base on the moon in the next 10-20 yrs is awesome I doubt but awesome I can totally see spaceX collaborating with nasa big when it comes to a moon base.🇺🇸🦅
@@hootscooter1075 No, the beating were never justified. They pushed you until you acted out, so they could feel justified in punishing you.
This is all terribly relatable.
I unfortunately can relate. I moved out at 18 too. I know this pain. 💔
I grew up in a very similar situation. I hope you’re doing better now.
This hit home so hard. Like, people don't understand why my childhood was so traumatizing because I never showed up to school with bruises, CPS was called but they never did anything because it all looked fine for the most part. It wasn't about physical effects, it was always about me being so hyper aware that I didn't matter. It was always about sneaking into my own home because who knows what kind of mood moms in. It was about 4th grade being way way too soon to want to die. And now it's about never being able to fully convince myself that I matter and being confused when someone shows they care about me and never being able to fully shake my family because all anyone's sees is people that "care" about me but only if I'm working myself to death to fit into their image that they want to tell their friends about.
'Only if I'm working myself to death'
I swear noone in my family admires me unless I'm doing something profound or working to death. Otherwise they see me and my interests as puny, worthless and distasteful.
This is exactly my situation. Unless I am spending every minute of my life the way they want me to live it, I don’t deserve their respect.
I’ve cut myself off from them multiple times but each time they promise to change. Each time I want to believe them because there’s nothing more I want than a family
Each time it’s the same
@@Ricval33 all I ever wanted was a family too. I'm sorry we're here
That’s….very fucking disturbing.
My ex is the epitome of this short, 100%. His mom tried to stab him and his dad earlier in his life. He also grew up literally fighting his older sibling. While we were together, his mother smashed the ps4 I gave him, and choked him out.
I always tried to be the light at the end of the tunnel for him, but this short put into perspective how much anguish this man went, and still is, going through.
As someone who has a neglectful, barely existing family (due to mental health, drug use, and other horrible issues) I grew up the child that was going to get my immediate family out the hood. I am the only child, and I’m still somewhat treated this way. It’s just that I don’t know how else to live at this point.
I hope he’s out of that situation
man i hope you both will be ok
I wish you and him both the best. These experiences no one should ever have to go through with how much harm it does.
i do hope that both of you are good
Gosh I hope he’s okay and you as well.
My mom used to tell me "you're my person. You don't watch gray's anatomy, that's why you don't understand. You're *my* person" meaning that I was her closest confidant and friend. I never got to ask her if she ever thought about whether or not I wanted to be her person.
I can only assume she didn’t want to ask in case your answer was no
@@reeannabelle3572 When you’re a young kid?????
@@reeannabelle3572 To an extent. If OP is asking that question imo, it's likely that this reliance has turned overdependent and toxic.
@@reeannabelle3572 If you're an adult, yes. If you're a child you're not emotionally mature or stable to do so. It will negatively impact your development.
@@reeannabelle3572 it can be, if she’s also supporting you.
I hate that so many people still underestimate the severe impact emotional neglect can have on someone. Sure I've never been left to starve but my friends have become more family than my parents ever were... i fear leaving my room a majority of the time
Hey I know you don't know who I am or anything but I just want to say stay strong. I can't really relate to your situation but I'm really hoping you can get away from all the toxic people in your life completely and safely.
I feel like people should understand what Generational Pattern Parenting is. It will help understand why your parents are who they are. Same way this video emphasize on child neglect. Your same parents were neglected as child consequently affecting you. Be the first to make peace, understanding your parents, change that Generational Pattern.
@@javierlandaverde4108 It's the parent's responsibility to work on their own issues until they are fit to raise a child. The child is not responsible for fixing a relationship the parent broke. The victim does not have to force those around them to change, and in many cases, they are not even capable of doing that because people won't change unless they want to. I am sick and tired of this "you can fix them" narrative, it only encourages people to stay in abusive situations. All of this is especially true when you consider we are talking about literal children.
competely agree@@123till321
@@123till321 I believe they were implying after a far bit of distance and time. I suppose it depends alot on individual cases whether they want to reunite.
As someone who’s been through a very similar type of trauma, words can’t describe how comforting “we see you” is. To me it means that someone SEES you and your needs, sorrows, and opinions as a person. It makes me feel loved and fills the void left by the absence of comfort when you witness violence. This feeling brought me a odd sense of comfort when it was sang, like a small desire deep down to have that normal life
This is the creepiest and depressing yet well made, creative and beautifully made short film. It’s scary to think that so many kids go through stuff like this. I hope they all get the happy endings they deserve.
Have you?
I certainly haven't.
@Jay Unfortunately, not many people will get a happy ending.
I know I probably won't.
It’s a reality a lot of us are still healing from. I’m glad I found spirituality/therapy as my solution for my trauma.
i js try to ignore my shi n say that its not that bad cs it could b worse
@@Redemptive_Neerdowell I think you you will.
the way her face just completely crumbles when she accidentally steps on something and makes noise… i want to cry, that’s too real
As someone who was severely abused in all ways except sexually and burdened with an adult level of responsibility and work at age six, no film has ever represented how I felt as well as Opal. Watching it triggered forgotten memories. It's a masterpiece.
Im sorry you had to go through that. I hope you’re doing ok
I experienced a lighter version of this, I was praised for being more mature than my age and acted as an ear for my parents troubles.
I felt more mature than them, and still feel more mature than both of them, to this day.
Children are not your friends folks, they're your responsibility. Stop burdening them with adult responsibilities.
I'm sorry you experienced this. I hope you have gotten stronger through it and are working to create the kind of live you want to have.
Bless up!
I know people that have been through worse. Blood, pain and death included. Breakdown? Try a MELTdown. As bad as it was I NEEDED that. I had to suffer through the neglet and isolation to learn to find my own answers. It's made me stronger. I don't fear anything now. If we don't go through shit then we don't learn. Just make sure you make the effort to get noticed. If someone ghosts you it's their own weakness and inability. There's a reason I'll always stand my ground 100% of the time. Neglet is something I won't ever do. Any other thing, yea, but eye to eye.
Sympathy isn't the point. The ideals of courage, honesty and accountability is. The cold hard truth is most people are cowards in denial living a lie. I actually know the stastistics for depression and suicide and know psychology. Well, no point worrying. Every point in trying.
😂
idc
im 23 and been breaking from the shame and guilt i feel about my childhood / teenagehood, the loss, neglect the false stories and beliefs my family made me believe about myself. it is a really painful process, almost feels like learning how to human. It has affected me so much in relationships , fearing them, but now chanigng it and seeing myself as worthy for love and setting boundaries and non-negotiables.
Right now Im focusing on seeing myself beyond the trauma - being the person i am and want to be while accepting the things that happened on the past that i cant change. Droping down defensivness and coldness as that was a way to push people away. Focusing on the now and building my future step by step. Droping the defense and coping mechanisms that no longer work and getting comfortable with things and situations that wouldve made me previously uncomfortable. Acknowledging that i am not my family or my past and that im not alone and to that i am still young - i have my entire life ahead of me lol.
This piece of art by jack strauber is held so dear to my heart. We often talk about child abuse and neglect but we never talk about how it feels through the perspective as a child. Confusing and horrifying and there’s NO way to make sense of things other then to escape in your own mind. When your guardians don’t have your best interest in mind, there’s nothing you can do. Nothing you can do.
If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives.
Looking back to the family in opal there are ways that the family could have been changed for the better by Christ. The blind grandfather would be thankful for his life and his daughter, who he would treat with the kindness of Christ.
The narcissistic dad would be able to find comfort in Christ and realize that life isn’t all about how you look or how others think you look. And would instead follow Christ instead of himself.
Even the addicted mother would be able to find comfort in Christ by venting her troubles to him and finding comfort and healing through Christ.
Even the sprouts of the seeds of faith would do wonders for the family, let alone the tree that will come from the seeds. Let us all therefore follow Christ and see his greatness and glory.
@@twingames8499 yeah bro Jesus ain’t stopping shit
@@coladoo5153 honestly the short was missing an evangelical adult who ignores opal/Claire constantly in favour of rambling about how "glorious" God is instead of just listening to her.
@@twingames8499 That mentality leads to more kids being neglected by parents' misunderstandings of the religion they halfheartedly follow than it does to them getting the care they need.
Yes the lack of control is the worst part when you’re a child you can’t provide for yourself to make up for their neglect
It was really heartbreaking to see poor Claire get neglected so horribly by her family that she's the main reason it stays together. She helps her grandpa with being his eyes, she listens to her mom venting, and she has to see her dad slowly falling apart because he's so self conscious about his appearance. It's sad to see her literally fantasize about having a wonderful family...it's awful that children have to be hurt this way, no matter the age or gender. It's so common and revolting.
I noticed a few people writing their own experiences with abusive families in the comments, so here's mine. I was abused by my abusive mom(bc her mom/my grandma was an abuser as well to her, anyways) as a teenager, while my older sister was too scared to help me when I would get abused, since she thought she'd get abused too for standing up for me. My dad was always working and barely home until late at night while the abuse usually happened during late afternoon. She'd verbally, physically, and emotionally abused me a lot compared to my older sister, calling me fat/ugly/gross because of my depression and how it affected my hygiene/etc. She kept telling me that I was a horrible daughter and how she wanted to move out of the house because I caused her "too much stress" for "lashing out" at her, when in reality I was trying to defend myself from her actions and words. She also kept threatening me with returning me to the mental hospital because of the lashing out(I went there due to the abuse and threatened to hurt myself because she's the whole reason I have depression and anxiety), which that's literally not what a damn mental hospital is for. It's not a damn daycare, it's a place where people go to deal with mental illnesses, to recover from the worst of it, and to leave when they feel ready to. And even then, at the time, I had to be sent there by my school counselor, not my mom. So she didn't even make the decision for me in the first place. She'd need a legit reason to send me back there, but she didn't have any other ones besides not wanting to deal with me.
Great analysis and great short film regardless, I enjoyed both.
It’s sad bc all a kid needs is love it’s so simple and when they don’t get it their whole world falls apart
i didn't mention this because i forgot. that was one of the details that actually pulled me into analyzing this more LOL. glad someone pointed it out though so everyone else knows :)
a similar thing happened with my step mom, I was always the bad guy for defending myself and would only get yelled at more if i didn't say anything at all. Eventually she convinced my dad to revoke guardianship of me and I've never been happier even if i lost my family.
Damn girl… das fucked up! 😮
How are you doing now?
im a hardcore horror enthusiast so I don't normally get spooked very easily but I can honestly say that Opal is the scariest things I've seen in a long time. the combination of the eerie claymation mixed with very real trauma had my anxiety reeling. jack stabber really is incredible
I agree Jack staubers way of making stories really hits you hard. I used to watch his videos when I was younger. Now I'm much older and am scared of watching those stories and understanding what I never understood.
Jack Stabber is what i’m gonna call his horror stuff from now on lmfao
I was high on LSD watching this I turned it off
The moment I realised something was wrong with my family was when I went over a friend's house and when dinner was called, we all actually sat down and talked with one another. No one stormed off, no one got mad and started screaming trying to one-up the other, and they'd actually offer to get things for other family members (like drinks with some ice, or pass the salt). My mind was BAFFLED. LOL. I wasn't sure whether to join in or pick the safe option and stay quiet.
I'm uncertain what I decided to do but I remember that moment being a fairytale. It made my day and I couldn't stop smiling throughout the entire hang out.
Eating peacefully with the family was a genuine movie scene to me, I didn't think it existed. Never eaten like that with my family ever. Was very weird to learn that families do in fact love each other like in the movies, but it was also definitely cathartic to finally realise that it wasn't my fault that I couldn't fix a dysfunctional family. None of that abuse was my fault.
I hope everyone who didn't have the great childhood they deserved can heal and prosper!!❤️❤️ It was never your fault at all for being a kid who wanted to be cared for.
I still have a pretty bad relationship with food (among other issues) as a result but I've been doing a lot better for myself and you can too. I believe in you!
L
@@Eye5x5LOL I giggled have a nice day
@@syreji lmao 😂
That's a crazy story.
gawd dang
I may be reading into it too much, but inside the house Claire has to do something for the adults in order for them to notice her. In her fake family, she dances in order to gain their praise and love.
Even within her mind, Claire has to do a favor in order to be deserving of love.
It makes sense. If you've never experienced healthy love and attention then it's very hard to imagine what that actually looks like. Even in her mind when she does something she wasn't supposed to (she looks at the house), the father pokes at her, the burger's pulled toward the mom, and she's sent to bed like a punishment. It's done in a "nice" way, but it's still an overblown reaction to something very minor. So there's still an abusive element to her imaginary family because that's what she knows. (For instance, the dad pokes and sings down at her which I saw as similar to her real dad "poking" fun and putting her down but not as cruelly. It's playful with an uncomfortable undertone.)
If you're raised to believe that love and attention are transactions based on your performance for others, you don't stop believing that just because you're around healthy people or in your head. It's more that you think your performance, how you please others, will be positively rewarded instead of negatively or not at all. It's still an abusive mindset, but you don't have another frame of reference to go by.
It also plays on a second level where her brain is trying to delay and protect her from the reality of what must be done as it gets dark outside The sweat dripping down the father's face is probably her own anxiety. The punishment because it was "bad" (fear inducing) to interrupt the fantasy with reality even briefly. What happens when we're "bad"? We get punished. Because your reality molds your mind and perception, you can't completely escape it even in fantasy.
@@ArnisKaye I just had an eye opening experience from my past and current coping ways
I remember kids asking me why I didn't brush my hair and also remember when my mom gave up on brushing it instead of learning how to take care of it and teaching me. I remember my teachers asking me about my appearance and like they shouldn't have been asking me lmao. My mom had issues with alcohol to the point where she had me mixing her drinks at like 8 when she was too intoxicated. My bio dad is a narcissist and my mom was gone after I turned 15. I cried watching opal after it came out and I cried this entire video lol
Hope you’re doing well. You’re a strong person and we’re glad you’re here
Big hugs!!!
I'm sorry you experienced that. I hope life is better for you now, remember you control your destiny and once you move out, you are responsible for your happiness. You can reach it, I believe in you!
@alexanderbanman9288 eh it's just gotten worse I'm watching my father die of Metastatic cancer at the moment and I'm the only able kid of his being able to do whatever he needs done and it's just going to keep being more rough 🙃
@@breannenicole4454 I don't know what to say, I understand the disturbing reality of your situation and how you know you can't do anything about it right now. My only consolidation as a child was that I would grow up one day and move away. I'm not sure what your intentions are for your future, but there will come a time when you're no longer responsible for your parents and you can make your own destiny.
Just be careful not to take on someone else as your burden once you become an adult who is fully responsible for themselves. As someone who has experienced somewhat similar (although much less extreme) conditions to what you're facing, I tend to allow people into my life who are needy, and then they take advantage of me.
A healthy relationship between adults looks like both sides being there for each other in equal measure, seeing and understanding one another, supporting each other in turns.
This is the kind of relationship I wish for you in the future, with friends, family, coworkers, and in your love life.
I know it's a bleak, unavoidable reality right now, and again, I'm sorry. But eventually things will change and you will have new opportunities.
Stay strong in your heart and seek a life that is good for you, and those you love and care about. You deserve happiness, you are a strong person, and though it may feel like none of your actions matter now, every good deed you do has an impact on the world, even if it's just in your own home at the moment. Your strength and will to do the right thing will make a difference.
Just remember that you need to take care of your own needs as well throughout life: rest, enjoyment, self education, surrounding yourself with people who are good to you. Life is a balance of give and take with others, and taking care of yourself.
I believe in you, you will make it through this, and become stronger and more loving towards yourself!
9:57 in grandpas defence. He literally has no idea whose there. Not in the metaphorical sense, he literally is guessing who’s there based off of footsteps and breathing.
Opal's panic going through her house really hit home for me. I remember dreading getting off the bus from school because i was never sure if i would walk into a warzone and end up stuck with the consequences. Most days i would pray no one even noticed me come home.
Same is what it is tho can't cry about it
Aw :( are you ok now?
@@DavidVerantes yeah bro trauma just builds stronger people tbh if it wasn't for Andrew Tate I don't think I would be here right now
@@l.5462 nevermind- Andrew tate *sucks*
@@l.5462 Saying this from a place of care, I hope you find a better hero than Tate. His style of self help is largely destructive, and often makes people worse wrt self esteem and empathy. There are whole videos on this of course, Pinely has a good one, as does user Shaun. I'm glad you're here, and found something that helped, but he and his community are really toxic and harmful, to you and the perception of the world he creates. He does not live a reality, and he wants others to buy in because THAT is how he gets paid. There are so many great role models out there though! People who inspire us... the best are the ones who inspire kindness, as genuinely, that helps the outlook on life so much. It's a tangible thing, though.
Man, the thing that got me was the mom using the daughter as a therapist.
My own mom said that she wanted kids so they can rely on them. Such as caretaking, taking them anywhere they want and using us for money once we get successful.
Sure, mothers need a break. But once you have kids, *you* are the ones that are supposed to take care of them. Not the other way around.
Yeah, I was my dad's therapist, I felt that too
My mom said the same thing growing up. Now as an adult, I’ve cut ties with my narcissistic and abusive family. I’m not taking care of people who’ve hurt me for so many years.
I feel you, I was my father’s therapist. He always spoke about his upbringing and how it impacted him. Never asked me about myself.
I was my moms therapist while I cannot remember one “real” conversation my father and I had in childhood. I can remember him telling me one of my purposes in life was to take care of them when they were old.
So much of this video resonates with me…. I’m still living in a sea of anxiety.
I’ve cut both of them off now…. really my entire family has been cut off. And I’m still trying to figure out how to survive.
The shots with Claire as her fathers mirror, her mothers pills and her grandfathers eyes really hit home for me, my old man was a little of all of them.
not an alcoholic but mines is the same..
Watching Opal when I was 19 it disturbed me and sat with me for way to long, seeing this break down made me realised why it got stuck in my head.
thank you for making a break down video!
I, myself, was neglected as a kid by my siblings and mother that led me feeling alone in a household of 10. and to this day I am praised for being independent... but that is a product of being told to go away and that everyone seemed to be too busy to listen to me or or even help me. often id be playing with duplo alone in my room as lego was for my older brother and I even managed to find entertainment from playing with soft toys that the family thought I loved my soft toys they bought me more.. internally I saw it as another way of saying go away. Opal spoke to me in the sense of having a family that doesnt seem to care for my wellbeing or see me as a person. to this day my mum has a hard time listening to me talk about the past that she flips the convo to "I'm so sorry. I should have done better. I am this... I should have that..." causing me to need to reassure her and being left with the feeling that I am still not being listened to nor seen. >_> so thats fun XD
I wonder if Jack Stauber was neglected as a child...because this is scary accurate on how it might feel as a neglected child.
won't be surprised
telling your trauma in an art project is not new
however jack pull it in a creative way
I have seen her mom on Instagram, she has photos of her children and stuff. She seems very loving with her family. Haven't found his dad though. No idea if those images of a happy family are a lie, or if Jack is just the best psychologist ever. Or if Jack had a friend in that situation, that makes sense too. (Also, I know about his mom because I was reading his wikia, and I saw the @ of his sister, and finding his mom was easy when scrolling through his sister's photos and Instagram literally telling me Jack's sister followed her)
I relate to his artstyle--i get that snese too-the misery in his art the mental instability he portrays in it i like 'hotline'
The information is in psychology.
@@NeidenHalffur Fact of the matter is some toxic families 'seem' happy and put together.
However, I agree that Jack may have a lot of introspect if he has empathy for neglected kids. It's just...insane how accurate it is. How does this guy know about outdoors maladaptive daydreaming to escape traumatic households? The 'woe is me' reverse psychology of parental figures? Either insanely genius or depressingly relatable.
That whole explanation of the mother using the daughter as a therapist basically caught my attention the most.
My mom smokes, drinks, and has verbally and emotionally abused me ever since she divorced almost 10 years ago. I’m 15 now and I have to take care of her as she threatens me, my brother, even my pets as she also abuses them. I fantasize living with the people that make me happy and enjoy life, realizing I’m stuck at “home” where I’m constantly scared of my own mother.
I feel like I shouldn’t have written this-
I've read every single comment from everyone of you and I just wanted to say thank you so much, everything you all say has helped me a lot mentally, I have huge plans when I turn 18 that are a bit risky like moving to another state to live with my friends, we can't choose our biological family but you can find your true, and I have. They do know everything and they've had ideas to help but they're going through a lot. I just started sophomore year and I can't wait until I can finally leave. Thank you guys all so much for telling your own stories, understanding my situation, and telling me all your great tips to keep going. I'll always remember all your kind words guys
You, my lad have to call the police.
I get told that a lot but there isn’t much to do when there isn’t evidence
You might not realize it now but a lot more people would be willing to listen to a 15 year old girl than an alcoholic mother if you speak up.
My therapist tried CPS but they didn’t care, they say CPS will only come if the child has no home, no food, or if there’s physical injuries
Thank you both though for caring and speaking up to me about it
@@gamer_rederson5919 Damn i knew CPS was fucked but i didn’t know it was that bad, either way i really hope you, your brother and your pets get help soon.
my parents suddenly started seeing me now as an adult. but i can’t help remembering everything from my childhood and how much that kid needed them. im all grown now but i feel so behind emotionally. thank you for this video
Relatable
I think its because the parents know they will get old and no one will take care of them except their children and no one will spend money on them, so they try and act like they care about their children when they are adults, well at least in my fathers case after years of neglect, emotional/verbal and mental abuse he decides to lie and gaslight me about the past because im an adult and i have a future ahead of me.
Literally! I feel you, you're not alone. Sending you love
Girl in the comments made me realize why I have a straight humiliation fetish
Yeah bro when I got the fuck out of there at 18 and went no contact, suddenly they wanna talk to me. Like what?? You never gave a shit for 18 years and now you want to? So confusing. Could they have done it all along? Is that a trap to get me back? This fucks me up
This is such a comfort video to me I live opal so much but the person that narrates this has such a smooth voice it feels like someone comforting me when I was a kid it’s so warm thank you
Wow, this hits home. I'm an only child who grew up with my single mother who was an alcoholic. I was always a naturally shy, obedient child who also had anxiety most likely. I had a lot of emotional abuse and neglect. This sums it up completely.
It makes me wonder- why and how do these people keep having kids, and mess up in the same ways too
One of the small disturbing details I noticed during the initial encounter with the grandfather is that he says to Claire, “You smell weird.”
This implies that Claire was neglected to the point that she *smells.*
The question is, have any of them taught her how to shower or take a bath? Because if she doesn’t even know how, she’s probably covered in dirt and grass from sitting outside.
@@cidercake4373 Dirt and grass dont smell bad. Month old body odor on the other hand? Yeah that stinks.
My parents never taught us how and they would yell at us for embarrassing them. Until I was 13 I didn't know you were supposed to shower everyday. It didn't become a habit until 2 months ago. I'm 17. My parents never talked to us. Let alone taught us ANYTHING about how to take care of ourselves other than brushing our teeth.
@@spacebar9733 I had similar situation, we didnt have washing machine that works properly and my clothes would just stink all the time. At some point I started hand washing them just not to smell in school all the time, I was scrubbing one sweater so hard I managed to give myself wounds on hands. Parents are suppoused to teach children these things, to clean themselves and how to take care of clothes etc, some parents shouldnt be parents tbh.
I mean yeah, her in fantasy land vs her in her actual home... her hair is messed up, her skin looks horrible, she's underfed like... oof.
As a person who has experienced emotional (and on rare cases physical) neglect and abuse, there was just....way too much with this that hit close to home. What's even more terrifying than living this reality is when you try to reach out for help, but everyone bats your hand away. When you try to call out, but no one listens. When you try to leave your reality for good but it holds onto you. Shit hurts man. Stay strong brothers and sisters it gets better.
@Jane Cochran Yes. I absolutely despise how this sentiment is parroted everywhere. To anyone who needs to hear it:
Life does not end after childhood. A terrible childhood does not guarantee a terrible adulthood. Life doesn't "go downhill after high school". Being an adult doesn't suck. It will be difficult, yes, but it will be freeing and rewarding. Your life is not over once you grow up. Grow up, grow old, and enjoy every moment. You have your whole life ahead of you.
My parents are ok, they dont hit me but they never leave me some free time even if im 15 and im already working 8 hours a day in a factory, and when i Say im tired they Say "You cant be tired your only 15"
That, and what's more, even when you receive an offer of help from someone, it can be so hard to believe that you might even bat their hand away and just continue drowning yourself in the pit you're stuck in. I know I've done that my fair share with people who truly meant the best for me and I kick myself for it now.
How did you get out?
@@jameshersom2536 got into college. It was really my only out. I still stay with my mom on the breaks, but at this point she knows that if she's shitty to me that I'll leave forever. I'm finding space to heal and I'm working on my problems one small step at a time.
This was beautifully made and made me feel seen in a weird way. I appreciate you for making this art even if it’s just an analysis of another’s. I hope you are getting better from your past as we all are trying, love ❤️
When I was around 12years old I would have this fantasy that I was really sick and someone finally loved me and took care of me… my dad was an alcoholic and smoked cracked he was totally checked out and my mom was severely verbally and physically abusive.. I’m 35 and I’m finally breaking the chains from my childhood trauma
My mom was only ever nice to me when I was sick. But like even then I'd get blamed for getting myself sick. Anyway I think that definitely impacted some of the reasons why I developed anorexia which I'm still dealing with relapses every few years near 15 YEARS LATER. Child neglect and abuse is the worst thing. It's pure evil
I’m growing up with just a father, my mother died when I was very young so my father had to take that role. My father is a very kind man, sure he can get a little crazy sometimes but he loves us. Sorry that I’m taking about myself but I always feel horrible when I see some that had a hard childhood, your childhood is what builds you, I’m sorry for everyone that had been through very hard things, I wish I could help them
How do you get rid of the pain? The issues?
Dragonlord you must accept incorporate the experiences into your reality before you can heal. Rejecting what happened means you cannot make the first step to grow. It’s a lot but it starts with understanding that things did happen to you the way they did and you had no awareness of the full impact. Working with a psychologist or coach that can teach you to bring yourself mentally back to the current moment, and a relationship to genuinely build trust.
So proud of you.
My own mother walks unusually quietly, and after watching this, now I'm wondering what might have happened in her childhood to cause this. My own family is seriously dysfunctional, and pain is generational.
When I was younger, I was deathly afraid of my father(who was physical sometimes back then), and my parents, especially him, would often take away any and all things that brought me entertainment as punishment for the smallest things. I often resorted to trying my best to avoid them noticing me, which would put me at risk of conflict and thus further punishment, and would sneak around at night to take back the things they took from me. I am 21 now, and while they've gotten better, the scars remain. I remain a night owl with a horrid sleep schedule(it is 5AM as I type this), and unconsciously move very quietly, sometimes startling people who didn't hear me moving around.
Talk to your mom and end the pain
What Opal does as a way to cope is called “Maladaptive Daydreaming.” It’s a coping mechanism often used among children to essentially escape their reality. Maladaptive daydreaming is identified by extremely intricate and detailed characters, stories, and worlds built inside someone’s mind. They also usually last long periods of time, these worlds can be based off of things that the person likes or simply made up all together. I used to be a maladaptive daydreamer, the world I had created was based off of a video game I liked. Every single character was so intricately crafted and the story was deeply rooted inside me. That world of mine lasted for 4 years. It’s what I would use to feel better when I was upset or stressed, it would help me sleep at night, and i would escape there anytime I remembered anything about my Dad. This type of daydreaming can be very disruptive in a young child’s life, the main example of this is in school, usually the teacher would be talking and my mind would slip away unwilling and I’d zone out completely and get left behind. I didn’t mean to zone out, it would just happen and I wouldn’t even notice. I remember when I first saw this short, I understood Opal completely. Escaping reality using a world formed inside your mind. And completely off topic but Opals mother acted the same way my father did, he’s a changed man now.. at least somewhat. There’s always hope for a better tomorrow
Wait, that's what maladaptive daydreaming is? Oh boy I've been doing that my entire life. Thank you for the knowledge.
If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives.
Looking back to the family in opal there are ways that the family could have been changed for the better by Christ. The blind grandfather would be thankful for his life and his daughter, who he would treat with the kindness of Christ.
The narcissistic dad would be able to find comfort in Christ and realize that life isn’t all about how you look or how others think you look. And would instead follow Christ instead of himself.
Even the addicted mother would be able to find comfort in Christ by venting her troubles to him and finding comfort and healing through Christ.
Even the sprouts of the seeds of faith would do wonders for the family, let alone the tree that will come from the seeds. Let us all therefore follow Christ and see his greatness and glory.
I started doing this when my best friend was killed in a car accident when I was 6, and kept going throughout the emotional neglect and abuse I experienced my whole life.
wait what... it's just that? I thought that...that was normal yknow? maybe a bit nerdy or rare, but normal...
oh no
im curious at this point if me getting bored and coming up with Netflix seriesor random fantasy stories pacing around /w music for years at likee 1am-or in my room during 2020 was avarage im creative ii do know that but i dont use it when im getting yelled at or hit..? many fictiomal scenarios/arguements usually about terrible people though--alot of peole think they have MD maybe the music things just a general habit-? idk about the other one
As part of my own healing journey from an abusive parent with narcissistic issues, I'm grateful for videos like this that calmly in a non judgmental type of way explain deeper videos like this. It helps to put identifiers on things I thought were normal and work through them with knowledge. Thank you, and whatever support team helped to make this. ❤
One thing that I haven’t heard anyone mention in their analysis of Opal:
In the scene with the mirror man, when the grandfather comes up the stairs and Claire panics and runs, her father startles and begins to reach out his hand to make her stay, calling out “Where are you going?!” This movement knocks one of his mirrors to the ground and it shatters, and he cries “No, this makes me feel!…”
He uses the mirrors as his own escape from reality (similar to the others), presumably so he doesn’t have to confront the reality of his ruined face. Seeing his reflection in the shattered mirror breaks his illusion, causing him to lose his imagined beauty. The mirrors help him take his mind off his situation and seeing his broken reflection causes a swift reality check, and he feels vulnerable and broken without his illusion of beauty.
I haven’t seen anyone notice this in their analysis of this film so I figured I’d point it out! :)
Thank you, this was a lovely read :)
I thought he was saying “you know how this makes me feel” but
@@dadyos that is what he says i took it as him saying "you know how rejecting me makes me feel"
Thanks for pointing this out! I thought Claire's father said 'You know how this makes me feel..' was because she left and wasn't giving him any attention anymore
@@gold2291 that makes sense tbh
This video was a great watch and some parts of it really hit home for me, like avoiding interacting with family members because of substance abuse or being used. But sometimes I also feel like an impostor when I relate to stuff like this. Like my experience wasn't nearly as bad growing up. Idk it's a battle within myself that I have when I see things like this. I feel like I have been negatively affected because I have social anxiety and depression which I think stems from my childhood, but when I compare what I went through versus what other people went through I get the feeling that I'm just believing in that theory to cope.
Idk, I just felt like I needed to vent this somewhere. Thanks for uploading though! When I first saw this video I couldn't watch it because it creeped me out, but this analysis really showed me that there was a lot more to it than that.
I’m one of those specific other people with absolutely hideous experiences that you’d probably compare yourself to, and unfortunately, I can categorically tell you you’re not an impostor. I’ve been abused physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and sexually. Of the five, the emotional abuse was the worst/ most damaging kind and it’s not even close.
You’re not faking, you’re not an impostor, and you’re not wrong thinking you’ve been traumatized. You got the worst one that nobody is willing to recognize as the worst one. I’m sorry.
I relate to this so much. Despite my *occasional* childhood malnourishment, *occasional* emotional battery, the trauma dumping emotional incest, the *occasional* trips to hotels while dad was chasing us and semi annual physical abuse, I still fucking say 'well my dad DID take me to McDonald's sometimes'
UGH.
jack stuaber is an astonishing artist who captured the deep phycological effect behind child neglect. and as a person with an abusive father i find this important representation. i am very glad this youtuber chose to cover this topic. makes me feel less alone and distant to know other people understand me. i wish all kids could find a safe and healthy environment.
This was heartbreaking. Thanks for filling in gaps I missed in the original. Loneliness is a powerful force and it doesn't require the absence of others.
9:00 the mom part hits home for me. my mom was an addict. less than three weeks before she died of an OD, i was talking to her about how upset i was that she left me alone in a hotel with no food, money, or transportation (i had just gotten into a car wreck and couldn’t even walk) and she started arguing back with stuff like “yeah, it’s always about you, isn’t it? thanks for asking how i’m doing. i have shit going on too you know”. and i told her “i am your daughter, not your friend. i can’t even hold my own shit let alone yours”
to clarify some stuff:
-we were homeless. a church paid for us to be in the hotel
-my mother denied being a drug user even when i found syringe caps in her car and had videos of her nodding off
-my car accident was really bad and i nearly died. my jaw had been wired shut bc i broke it and had just gotten the wires off after six weeks so i was RAVENOUS. all i could consume was broth and water and protein shakes.
-i had shattered my femur and had been given permission to start using a cane to walk but then a bug got on me in the shower and i launched myself out, fracturing my fibula and being put back on complete weight bearing restrictions
-prolly irrelevant but my mom had an extensive substance abuse history. i was 20 when she died and she had been using drugs long before i was born. up until the 3ish months before she died, i genuinely believed that she was sober. she died at the house of a guy she used with. i used to drive by his house in her car to see if i could creep him out and i guess it worked cause eventually i got in trouble with the police for it. really funny, honestly but he was also a drug user so i know he probably thought it was my mom even though he’s the one who found her and watched her be pronounced dead and put in a body bag by a coroner
@@misseselise3864 goodness I’m so sorry- my parents (particularly my father) love to do the whole “who cares about you what about ME” thing. I never had a situation as extreme as yours, but fuck I know how badly it burns to be made to feel like a useless burden for the crime of being injured. I had a foot injury bad enough to require surgery. Twice. By the time I finally was going to get checked out by a professional, I was having a really hard time walking for long distances. Just going about my school was agony.
Despite this, my father wanted to go on a walk for Father’s Day. I just… couldn’t. I didn’t know what was wrong or just how bad it was yet, but I knew a long walk on a gravel road was a horrible idea for me. I let him know this, and told him he could take the rest of my family and go without me. He then threw a passive aggressive hissy fit because I was being “lazy” or “not caring about him on Father’s Day” or something like that. About a year later, something completely out of my control happened, and his drunk ass called me useless over it. I’m still unlearning thinking of myself and my needs as a burden- because that’s what I was taught to think of them as. I hope you’re doing better, and that you can find a way take care of and love yourself in all the ways your mother refused to.
@@suspiciousplatypusmoth the worst part is how I can see parents not thinking of it as a big deal in the long run, when childhood trauma is probably the most important time of anyone's life to treat the trauma
@@HyperNova808 oh absolutely. I saw a post somewhere that went like “for us, it’s a core memory of trauma. For them? Tuesday.” and it lives rent free in my brain. Parents seems to forget that for most of our early lives- they’re our whole world! Anything and everything they do will effect us eventually, one way or another. What they see as just a bit of light ribbing or simply a “joke” that fell flat could change how a child perceives themselves for the rest of their lives.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that none of that is youe fault in any way whatsoever okay you deserve people who love and care and appreciate you for who you are as a person your mother needs help with her own problems okay and I hope that you are doing better for yourself okay do not let anyone bring you down okay you got this
Well said, the analysis of this was thorough and so many points hit home and are appliable to situations that I have heard about or know first hand.
Another comment said it here but the wishing you could be apart of another family or have something happen to end up being apart of another family in better or different circumstances? That is a very real, and rough thing to come to terms with, even as an adult, even as I am out and away from the neglectful childhood I had alongside raising myself, and even though things are better, deep down I know my body and mind don't feel the same.
I remember the many times after another day of everyone arguing and fighting, of just sneaking down to some room in the house where the moon was visible on the nights it was visible, and just thinking to myself 'I wonder if there is someone out there that secretly is related to me or knows me and could take me in' and 'I wonder what it would be like to be born into a different family altogether, if I didn't look the way I did, if I didn't have the siblings I did, I wonder what that would be like? That sounds nice'. I wish I could give my younger self a hug, wrap myself in the softest blanket I own, and sit in a chair and sing songs until I fell asleep peacefully and carefree. I deserved that and so much more.
Childhood trauma runs deep y'all. Take the time to process what you went through and if you are ready and want to (forcing yourself to go doesn't make it better or "work"), seeking therapy or counseling on CPTSD and Neglect is a great start. Also finding support groups from mentors and survivors as well can be a way to build up connections and find a source of grounding and support. Take care of yourselves and take it easy. Take it one day at a time and hey you are still here. I'm still here too, things will even out in the end as they are supposed to.
My mother used me as an emotional punching bag and would get angry when my therapist told me to tell her to leave me alone because the stress was negatively affecting my undergraduate studies. Later in life, she tried threatened to get me fired from my job if I left her to move in with my current, loving partner. She just wanted someone to take care of her. Claire's mom hits too real for me.
If all kids need parents, then all kids need god. That’s because god is our father and we need him in our lives.
it makes me question..the rational--were they always entitled kids--? are tose the ones you see in your class? that just decide they dnt care so much they ruin their own lives--?
Find a Lawyer about how to protect yourself about her if she tries it. Try to find the facts in the law system instead of agreeing to her anger. Ask HR if they can connect you with Legal in someway that can protect you from someone externally that may be trying to purposefully get you in trouble. If they don't find that escalating, use the word fired instead of trouble. Know how to protect what you want, what you love, and what you want to love. If at all you should feel bad about leaving her, ask about Social Worker options that Governmental Services may be able to provide. That information could help. She may hate it for years but if she gets better, that's the goal.
@@twingames8499 stop.
@@twingames8499 Stop with your cult indoctrination oldhead, go take a nap.
This was my childhood. My safe haven was a desk with Legos in the drawer. I would sit for hours away from my family at that desk. One day my mom threw my desk across the room and it shattered my world. I lost my temper for the first time and it started a series of events that led to my dad taking my sisters and me away from that house. We never got help though. I relate to this so much, especially the tip toeing.. my coping mechanism is forgetting and numbing my emotions. I become cold and emotionally dead as I've been told
I hope you get help eventually.
I cope the same way, I feel for you my man
Opal was my life as a kid. Narcissistic father and alcoholic mother. I was just lucky enough to have grandparents who did their best to help but even they couldn't fully protect me.
Are you doing good now though? I hope this isn't rude and ignoring what you've been through but I hope you're okay...and I want to confirm.
@@Freshest_Water not rude at all, it is kind of you to think to ask. I'm doing better now thanks, I emigrated a few months ago and got married. Things are a lot more settled now. Things do get better. I promise ❤️ I hope you are doing well too!
I certainly understand that. My grandma called DCFS or (CPS in some states) on my mom for us.
@@raccoonjuice1913 I am so sorry you had to go through that. It is a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone.
@@bethneild108 22, and I'm doing great. I've got trust issues like hell. But, I'm better than I used to be 🎉