ADHD Management I hope you are ok. I’m kind of confused about this comment. You got a diploma, but you failed!? To me it sounds like you succeeded. 💪🏻 Watched 95% of your videos and I felt every word you said and struggle you described. I’ve just discovered that I have ADHD. It was such a revelation. It explained everything that happened to me through my whole life. Now, I’m on my third try to finish a college, final year. And it is certain that I will get my degree. I Failed/given up two collages before..felt miserable after that. The educational system killed me. It was devastating. I didn’t have any self esteem lest after that. But..I gave myself enough time to recover, like 5 years, and I’m finally doing it. Slowly but I’m not giving up.. Please, be kind and understanding to yourself. That is the most important thing.
You did not "fail," you just have not reached your goal...YET. Take a moment to breathe, and get back up again. Remember your last point within this video, "I'm going to do it at a pace I can handle."
I'm 22 and currently in uni. I feel this exact same way and cried while listening to this. I don't care about any degrees anymore, I just want to be happy. I don't believe in myself at all. It's almost impossible to think I'll ever be able to become successful in any studies or jobs the way I am. I'm just tired. Every new opportunity feels temporary, I'm just waiting for myself to f*ck up someway and lose everything. I'll just keep screwing up time after another until I can't take it anymore. I don't see a happy ending to my life.
Dont ever give up bro, just consider our lives as a test, do our best, live our life to the fullest. Me too still in uni, well I did messed up but at least I tried, so do you. Please keep believe in yourself, have self love, meditation & excercise in the morning helped me alot and I think the same will apply to you. Please dont ever give up! Love you.
Every single word you said resonated with me. I’m going thru hard times. I’m a dad with no education. Only barely passing exams. I choose it-development while I hav ADD on top of that. Life ain’t easy, but watching your videos help me bare with it. Stay healthy and keep up the good work!
I also never completed college, and I also work in it-development. I like it, so I can actually focus on it, but I feel like there are a lot of gaps in my knowledge, specially those parts which are more boring to study.
Literally why I dropped out of college I couldn’t pass a math class I took 3 times and was threatened to be kicked out and not able to take the class again I tried so hard to pass but I just couldn’t
In tears watching this video. I have never come across something that resonated so much. The way you described everything to perfection shocks me. "It feels like I have nothing left to give." wow, I felt that. I am struggling immensely with my undergraduate degree. I constantly think I should drop out every single day. I cannot do this anymore. I am so scared that I am going to fail my first semester of university. I am drained completely. I am struggling to get medication which is making life harder. Thank you so much for making this video. I really appreciate it. It feels as if there are other people out there facing similar issues.
Man, I'm struggling to get medication myself because meds are so expensive. It's really hard. It's really hard. However I'm using AI to help me with college work. I scored an A+ on an online test with the help of Bing. I wish I could have done it on my own but no matter how hard I work I never seem to be on top of my game. I'm just leveraging technology to help me get through this nightmare called college.
I can feel with you. Because of those ADHD related issues I quit university. Sure some of my professors tryed to help me, but I think nobody knows how an ADHD brain works. I got my diagnosis at age 26. Quit university straight after that and made an apprenticeship. I know, I've could have achieved more in live, without ADHD. It sucks, for sure, but it's not a reason to give up.
I quit right before I was gonna finish my thesis, the pressure of was just too much and my tutor wasn't helping it either, she would only give me 15 minutes of her time every week and wouldn't even reply to my e-mails. I feel you so much...
I have adhd, depression and cptsd. I feel like I went into university at the wrong time. I haven’t healed from my trauma, my depression has gotten worse and I really struggle with my adhd. I truly believe going into university with only online school was a bad idea. I’m going to try my best to finish this semester with decent grades, then just take a gap year and hopefully covid will end. I don’t think it’s the school that’s hard but it’s really just me.
Formal education wasn't built for the neurodiverse mindset. Why do you think most ADHD folk go entrepreneurial? Because formal education teaches you how to be a subservient employee. And anyone with ADHD knows we ain't naturally down for that but we just tolerate it because £££.
Man that’s a great way of putting it. I’ve always hated school, but was convinced on going back. I regret not following my true passions, like making music and art.
@@muccigane2351 I hated school, too! But like ADHD Management, I too went back to do a masters to "prove to myself" that I wasn't educationally incompatible. I was awarded a distinction in an intensive Software Engineering course. It's so cliche, but if I can do it, then there's no reason why others cannot.
The brain fogginess is really hard to explain and deal with. I managed through uni basically by building crippling anxiety into my life so I could get things done. But that's not sustainable, and I ended up treating my anxiety only to find I can't do anything without that anxiety.
The more I watch your videos the more I feel like I am looking into a mirror! You are narrating my life! I am struggling so much with uni myself currently, which is why I started wondering what was wrong with me, because everyone around me seemed fine (as fine as you can be when you're in uni). I am looking to get sorted out if I do have ADD but... seriously, the more I learn the more I am convinced I got it. Especially hearing you talk. It's an odd kind of relief really.
7:00 as someone with ADHD and currently busting my bum trying to graduate highschool and get accepted into a good university, I %100 agree with you. People dont understand how hard it is to just sit down and study. I would literally prefer be a garbage man rather than studying, because it feels like real physical torture. How do we manage this? If this world wasnt made for people with ADHD, what are we to do? Be homeless? Jobless? Lonely? Unsuccessful?
No man, if the world isn’t made for people like us, let’s try to change it in a way which lets people realize what we’re going through and pave a way that suits our brains. It’s hard as hell, I’m not gonna lie and I hope you manage to get what you want, somethings that could maybe help you are sports and taking frequent breaks when learning. I myself graduated high school fairly good and something that tremendously helped me was learning with other people and explaining them what I learned, then listen to what they learned and then we’d correct each other when we feel necessary (same subject of course), maybe that could help aswell? Anyways stay strong, I learned that we can’t hope, that life gets easier, but rather get stronger so that we can endure it (and hopefully overcome most of the Challenges we face:)). Hope it helped and stay strong💪🏽
Finished a Master's that was on-line, it was enormous stress for my ADHD me. The entire discipline issue has been a lifelong challenge. There with you brother. Remember that you are actually very intelligent and simply process learning differently. The best way for me is to take only one or two classes at a time. The RSD is so real for me too. By the way... your channel is making a huge difference for me. I am no longer alone. Thank you so much!!
Hi @doreen Morris I am pursuing MBA and really struggling to keep my head above water because of my ADHD. Brain fog, multitasking, deadlines, tests, assignments, presentations, reports are all too much !!!! I really want to make it..... but i feel like i am stuck in a loop of brain fog.... i can barely function!! is there any tips to make it through ?? how did you do it !!??
When I had to do things I wasn’t interested in I felt like I was slogging through mud, or even quicksand! One thing I did that helped me was give myself permission to make a D. I decided that a D was better than an F, and I would get an F if I didn’t do it at all. Oddly enough, that helped me to keep going. Lowering my expectations of myself reduces my stress which help me to keep going. I was miserable at times, but I made it through, and I didn’t make bad grades after all! I got the degree and the certification I needed, and I had a career I liked.
Yeah! My bar is "just pass." I aim for the lowest passing grade. It's a stupid, ridiculous struggle, but sometimes I surprise myself and actually get more done than I thought possible. I feel like it's the opposite of what people tell you: "Aim for the stars! Aim hight! You'll reach something!" I'm like: "Fuck no. I suck. I suck terribly. But maybe, maaaybe, I could sit down and squeeze 5 minutes in. Maybe I can move and little by little make the bed. Just a tiny step at a time. The barest result is great success!" This seems to be working _a lot_ better for me. Progress is _teeth grindingly slow,_ but any progress is progress!
You're an outstanding RUclipsr, especially the information and remedies regarding ADHD. I loved the facts at the beginning and the way you elaborated on it. Every video comes out I and understand the struggles because these are the exact problems I'm facing in my life. When you mentioned the part about people with adhd need guidance and support, it made me realize why I flew through highschool and now lack in college. I had foster parents who'd woop my ass if I failed in highschool - Whilst now, I don't have that support. I begin to understand myself more with every video you produce. Keep up the excellent work. Thank you so much. You have taught me more than any medical practitioner ever could.
Same with the shift in educational success from when living in foster care to when living on my own! I feel like foster kids need some kind of safety network when we turn 18! I got financial help one time- and my foster mom was kind enough to be there occasionally, but I really would've benefited from regularly talking to someone as wise as this guy, before I dropped out of my first education half way through!
I know what you going through. It's tough. I almost completed my one thesis then gave up. Then started a new thesis from scratch. At masters level. Sigh. As you say, this world is not ADD friendly. I'm not blaming anyone, merely pointing out the facts.
Dude I felt like crying while watching this. It's as if I was speaking to myself. I wish I could just share this video to everyone whos ever known me and every teacher that thought i was just lazy. Im 22 and just found out that I have ADHD ive always felt so different and so less than everyone else. Its nice to know there are others out there. I am in my 3rd year of college and I have the exact same thoughts. Its all just too much for me right now. I wish there was some way I could finish this degree but as it is the thought of continuing and pushing through makes me want to vomit. Thankyou for making this video
This is the first time I've ever posted a comment on RUclips ever. But this video resonates with me so much, I felt compelled to type this comment to tell you how much I appreciate your videos. This one hit the heart my friend. I
The school system really doesn't understand. I avoid seeking out help to because typically the "help" isn't helpful its shameful and wrong. Who needs that when they are stressed and scared.
Ahhh this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. You took the words right out of my mouth. Im trying to finish the last course in my degree and Im so mentally withdrawn and have struggled so much to get here already. I keep needing extensions and I dont know how long it will take my brain to recover after each assignment so its hard to predict what my needs are. Im an intelligent person but Im so tired being a fish having to climb a tree all the time when all I want to do is swim in the ocean! I am also a perfectionist and fear rejection, criticism, invalidation, rejection. I struggle to dicipline myself when Im ina state of fear. There are times wjere I am productive and functional but its so exausting trying to be on all the time. I will obsess over small details and get stuck there for hours and dissociate. People tell me to just push through and not worry about the details but I feel like if I mess up one detail it will make the rest not make sense. I just want to be free. Thank you so so much for this video. Ive been suffering in silence and longed for validation or someone to understand. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Your honesty and vulnerability was so helpful for me. I believe in you, you are not alone in this, same goes for everyone else out there reading this❤
Ughhh I just finished my masters degree which I paid for myself and got really low marks on my dissertation. I honestly did not care one bit if I failed whilst writing it even though I'd paid so much money out of my own pocket for it. I'm the same, I will sit and procrastinate for 2-3 weeks and then write 6000 words in one day when I deice to work from a coffee shop. I wont even read over it. Now that I've finished I've only started thinking I could have ADHD. Wish I'd watched this sooner! Thanks for sharing
Lol that's exactly what happened to me, I wrote my entire 10000 word dissertation in.... Wait for it... 3 days. And I had to go to work on one of those days. Although I had been working on my final project before hand, (my masters was a practical project plus a dissertation. I left everything late really. I didn't recover for a whole month. I'm glad it's over)
Same brother, thank you for sharing!! Yes.. that feeling of guilt/shame..knowing you’re not stupid but needed that guidance and extra time.. Trying to work and go to school for our ego..but ultimately he to cut hours to the minimum.. Half way through nursing school..almost quit 2 weeks ago.. God bless
I really appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing. It helped me to hear that I am not the only one with these feelings and lacking on follow through most of the time to turn in assignments in. It is so frustrating to see everyone else succeeding in school, when I am not and it's all due to me not being able to put in the time. I am trying to put in the time to finish my bachelors degree (for the second time around) and my doctorate degree but sometimes it does not even seem worth it, because I feel like I can't keep up. Hell I can't even get a simple routine down that I want to do, let alone try and work on homework that I am not the slightest bit interested in. Thank you for making these videos, it has helped me a lot with managing my ADHD. I hope you are doing well!
Hey, I can totally feel your pain as someone who did a master's program in the UK while actually being completely unaware that I had/have ADHD. It's not by any means easy, but it can be done. The education system is against us but once we prove ourselves by getting through it with a degree, we can thrive in the real world. Doing this degree will open so many doors - mostly through proving to employers that you're smart, capable and able to stick with things. And more importantly, once we've proved this, us ADHDers have an advantage over the 'most intelligent' people. To be honest I disagree that the most intelligent people are always at an advantage. It's the curious, the creative and the empathetic types who make a mark on the world and have the potential to generate positive social change. It's more about your attitude and your positive energy than the grade you get on an academic essay. I hope you made/are making it through your studies. Rooting for you!
Great video. Nothing but honesty! Completely relate to you. Especially the part where you mentioned after your parents are gone. I'm in a high earning job, yet i'm in debt with no savings. I can't explain this to anyone without ADHD.
lived my entire life not knowing how bad i suffered from adhd... dropped out of uni, took a job as a garbage man, and went on to drive truck for decades... at age 46, i was diagnosed with it and got the meds and needed help, now i design warships for the US government... what a change!
I am a 20 year old that just got accepted into university and that suspects I have adhd, made an appointment for next week. May I ask what kind of medications and other help you received? I really want to achieve my goals
Iv said this to myself so many times that I just don't fit in this world iv always felt different always wanted to live in a log cabin in the woods lol
What a powerful video, man. I know you just connected with a ton of people as there are many of us ADHDers who have been right where you are now. I have to say, you’re braver than I. During the summer after high school, I signed up for fall classes at my local junior college... I never showed up for the first day of class and never went back. I just straight up said, NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE! I can only imagine how hard it is going for an advanced degree. I wish you the best! Just remember, we can do hard things. By the way, what are your aspirations? Try to keep the end goal in mind, but more importantly, remember WHY you want to get your degree. Always start with why and the rest becomes a little easier.
Kiechi Morisato No, you’re right. I misunderstood the terminology. I looked up the definition since you pointed it out... shows you how much I know about schooling. Going to edit that now. 😅
My only reason to get through it now is to increase my chances of a higher salary job. I kind of did it for the wrong reason in the first place. There's been aspects of it I found interesting but man... Essays are NOT my thing and its a poor measurement of intelligence IMO.
ADHD Management same here, writing papers is like slogging through mud for me. Sometimes slogging through quicksand! I did graduate from college though, good thing some of it was interesting 😀 somethings I’m great at and somethings are so challenging I nearly choked on them.
I'm watching this after having an emotional breakdown cus I spent most of the day studying and catching up with my course material because I have an assignment due tonight but I know I'm not gonna be able to turn it in on time. As it gets closer to the deadline I just don't see the point in even doing it. I just feel absolutely horrible right now.
I think we avoid getting help because it re-enforces the feelings of incompetence we have, I dropped out of uni again this year because of how daunting it feels but it does end and sticking at it is extremely difficult but there are people who understand you and how much harder it is for you. We’re all rooting for you! The process is so much harder to overcome then the content itself but you can achieve it and take pride in it :)
I’ve only recently discussed ADHD with my Dr and I just watched this video and cried. I relate to everything you feel and I’ve felt so alone with my struggles before. You have no idea how wonderful it was to see that I’m not alone in this struggle and that there are a lot of people going through it. I genuinely believe there is something out there for us, and it might just take time to figure out exactly what it is. Thank you for sharing such a raw and personal video! It really helps for people like me.
Yaas... All through school as a child people talked about how I was going to get "help" but then it became clear that their help wasn't helping and that's when it all turns to: "you have a bad attitude.."
Yupp my parents thought giving me a planner and having the teachers sign it was a good idea but tbh in middle school where kids are already so mean it was embarrassing as hell and any time I lost a paper they’d write it to my parents and I’d be grounded even though it wasn’t my fault I did the work I just couldn’t figure out where I put it
Fighting yourself over and over and over to just buckle down and do what you’re supposed to do is so exhausting man… and when you said things that should feel important to you just don’t and you can’t help it. Wow that resonated with me hard, got me emotional…. Much love dude. Keep making these vids they help me understand this crazy brain of ours!
that's actually what happened to me in my college 3rd year. Even though I am a psychology major and my teachers have licenses in psychology stuff, it's quite hard like why they don't understand me? yeah they give me support and what overwhelmed was that we don't only have research but a mock exam for future licensure then they told me that I could solo my research and it's just a punch in my face, I couldn't take it and I too know that I am not depressed or anything, it is just that overwhelming. I got diagnosed with adult adhd, and if I was examined earlier my psychiatrist told me that I have mixed type and now as a consequence I both have depression and anxiety as offshoot of my adhd. (it was way way too stressful for me since primary school to high school, particularly being born to an Asian family where academic excellence and conscientiousness matters the most sigh and college was just a complete hell).
I was looking up videos for people with ADHD, who dropped out of uni. I’ve said almost every word of this myself, organizational task management feels like torture. I’m at the end of a gap year after burning out my first year of undergrad. I already don’t want to go back, and seeing everyone struggle through online learning, makes it feel worthless.
This video put into words EXACTLY what I've been trying to explain to my university and how I've felt for the past 2-3 years; and I'm only doing an undergraduate degree! I actually sent the link to this video to one of my lecturers to help him understand. I'm eager to see his response. This really helped me accept that how I'm feeling is something that has been experienced before by other students with ADHD. It made me feel a bit better about myself, too. Thank you so much for making this video. I'm sure it would have been difficult. I hope, even though you ended up failing, that you get some comfort in the fact that this video has probably helped so many people accept themselves and change the perception of their struggles in education from themselves to the structural inequalities of the higher education industry.
I relate. School just started and due to Covid, classes are remote. As if it wasn’t hard enough having ADHD, trying to focus at home is a beast. I’m taking 3 upper division classes and they’re already giving out quizzes and homework like there’s no tomorrow. I had a panic attack during one of the quizzes and had to just sit there and try not to flip out for the class to see. Even though things are remote, we still have to keep the camera on for the professors to watch us to make sure we don’t “cheat”. And if that’s not enough, my depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Been battling depression for years now and around this time it has gotten somewhat worse. Hard for me to stay motivated and do simple things. Sorry for the rant. Just had to let that off.
Wow. I didn’t finish college. I only have a semester left. I want to go back and finish but I have ADHD too and really relate to the things in this video. It’s so hard.
Thank you Stuart. It’s so good to hear you express verbally what I & so many others have & are experiencing. I failed at college many years ago & was very down about it afterwards. I lost my mum & dad several years ago & struggled to cope without their support. Close friends have helped carry me through & fortunately I’m managing to soldier on. I’m really impressed with you channel. Your ability to present information so clearly, honestly & professionally will stand you in good stead for a successful future what ever you chose to do.
Thank you so much for sharing this, I feel like you're voicing my exact experience and it's so good to hear someone talk about the struggles in a real way
This spoke to me so much. I’m in my second year of my undergraduate psychology degree and I’ve been struggling so much recently with deadlines. Always last minute all nighters, submitting at the last minute (literally). I’m just questioning if it’s even right for me because as you said, the education system just doesn’t accommodate well for us. I been thinking so much about dropping out but I know I’ll regret it so badly if I do so I’m trying to power through it... even though I have lost nearly all interest, motivation and desire. And my sleep pattern is awful, I can’t sleep till like 3/4/5am every night (if that), I just don’t get tired, and then I oversleep and wake up absolutely exhausted and miss my lectures and seminars... sucks. I’m really behind on my work. But if I drop out I have no qualifications (I messed my A Levels up) so I’ll just be stuck in a dead end job... literally what you said in this video. I go through phases of wanting to drop out on and off. And I avoid getting help and avoid anything that stresses me out just like you said towards the end. I agree, there’s not much out there in terms of support systems for us :/ it’s also affecting my relationships as recently all I keep doing is falling out with those closest to me, I get angry and triggered way too easily. Yeah, sucks
@@kiranm845 I actually just finished my final year, although I have deferred my dissertation for later in the summer. I powered through, and weirdly enough, learning from home due the pandemic actually suited me better because I no longer had the stress of having to make lectures on time etc and no fear of being late (I could just attend the online lectures in bed lol). This year I also finally reached out and got help for my bad mental health (depression etc.) and my uni also gave me extensions when I requested due to my ADHD. My advice would be to not give up, especially if you're close to finishing your course :) seek help and support if you're struggling, either from your university, or even just start with speaking to a friend like I did
@@kieran.96 thanks for your advice, ill seek help as well. I get adjustments for adhd too but i slacked off all my lectures. Was okay during the first month but got sick of it. Ill try to find out what can i do about my situation.
@@kiranm845 yh I've slacked off a lot too put always managed to get through it when it mattered. As long as you can go through the lecture slides/replays when you need them, ie for coursework and revision, hopefully you can get through it, that's what I did anyway (only looked at them when I needed to for coursework and exams)
@@kieran.96 thats what worked for me. I stopped submitting assignments thats the problem. Before this i barely studied for final exams but i would get 60-65 by submitting late work
I'm ADHD dual type, 2nd year in computer science. The only reason I'm as successful as I am is because I had a passion for knowledge since ever pretty much. I had it installed in me by various figures in my life. I also have some of the things you are referring to, especially that fear of losing my parents, who I love very very much. This unwillingness to do anything, my solution is to work through enjoyment. I find that it is very easy for me to enjoy things while I'm on my meds. Discrete math assignments, that logically speaking I should hate, I enjoy, and I mean really. It's hard to start sometimes, but it always ends up as the best thing ever. I pretty much made it into a hobby, I think. I enjoy playing video games for about an hour a day, but I can study for hours and have an amazing time, much better than any video game. The success of understanding is exhilarating, and this is what I think we need to aim for. Regarding the avoidance, whenever I encounter a problem TA or a problem prof, I ask for help from my disability councilor in the university. When I finish the degree, she'll be the one I thank right after my parents. She tells instructors off, explains where they are wrong in their treatment and where I'm wrong when I am. She's like a mother, sister, teacher and guide, all rolled into one. Me being older than her usual crowd (27 vs 18-22) probably helps in that. But really, I agree, this friend you're referring to, thats exactly what she is.
YO I FEEL U SO BAD i'm in my 4th of undergrad, for psychology of all things, but was only diagnosed about 2y ago; mostly, I believe, because I like to think of myself as rather intelligent, but that's not quite enough to get through university. It has been a merciless struggle through and through, other mental illnesses factoring heavily as well. I've been just getting by. Keeping my gpa JUSt high enough. After my diagnosis and a bit of a break (xmas school break) I started learning more about adhd. Started putting some strategies in place. I started off the Winter 2020 semester ready to give it a go. I hadn't done awful the last semester and after the break I felt like i had the footing. So I got into it. I made myself go to class. I'd spend my free time on campus (i dont't have friends so thats all the time) at a study location and just hope i'd get shit done. And it fkn worked. nearing the end of the semester my grades had been good. what i know im intellectually capable of. And I'd only missed 2 classes. The entire semester. And then, March 13th, covid-19 hit my city and the quarantine began. I haven't had an in person class since. Nor have I been able to study on campus. (obviously) Now I'm home alone all the time in just my bedroom because i rent and only feel comfortable here. and it is nearly fkn impossible to kick ADHD from your bedroom, let me tell you. I want to become a psychologist. That's the plan. I know what im getting myself into and its kinda terrifying. But as of yet I refuse to let my ADHD foil my plans. Also, after the hell i've been through in undergrad, it is rather dissapointing that I will likely not have a proper graduation ceremony.
Oh man. I just now discovered this, just diagnosed at 41, and suddenly, brave people, leaders, rather, like you are speaking a truth I can understand. I’ve been fighting this tooth and nail. Bless you. So glad I found your videos. I hope whatever you’re doing right now sets your heart on fire.
Seems like I found the channel I was looking for... I am a first-year at uni. Thank you! I hope you are doing better and have a fulfilling life. You've achieved a lot
Man. This hit me hard too! Im in the process of applying to a doctoral program and physical therapy and I have to repeat all these prerequisites because they expired. It’s been so tolling and it makes the light at the tunnel very small. I often want to give up and I tell my friends I just wanna do nothing at all. I need constant change and this seems like the only create I feel that it’s different daily. But Getting through the prerequisites is killing me. I’ve had to withdraw from two classes this year because it just stressed me out so hard I couldn’t keep up. And you’re absolutely right our educational system is not very supportive. But there are a few professors that understand and are willing to help. But I always get the coined the term “try harder”! Pff been working nothing but hard! I’m so glad I discovered your channel!
I’m literally crying feeling the same way rn, I’ve constantly been wanting to drop out cause it’s becoming worse mentally - I have no passion to do what I even liked to do. Adult ADHD is so hard to deal with 😭
I've literally got the t-shirt, left school at 16 with 5 F's, went to college early 20's, dropped out, went again dropped out again, went a 3rd time passed, just, went a 4th time and passed. and after 5 years of it, still never got a degree, but got a diploma. and from 16 to 27, had about 30 jobs. And the bottle, well that's been going on, for almost 30 years.. but, its about picking yourself up, dusting off, forgiving yourself a bit if you can, (we don't do that well) and pushing forward. Great video, thanks!! And i've been a father in 3 different families... so.. there's that.
2 года назад+1
That one week recovery after exams. Feeling like you want to runaway. Mentally giving up because of overwhelm. Not touching work for weeks. All that I felt/did/do. I pretty much “ran away” from grad school. Still gathering the courage and mental energies to finish my degree. I could relate very well with everything that you said. Thanks for sharing!
I just want to thank you SO much!! THIS video actually led me to an ADHD specialist psychiatrist right down the street!!!! Thank you for being raw, vulnerable & helping the rest of us (well, me at least 😁) by letting us know we're not alone❣️❣️
This is something I've never seen talked about and while I know it was a hard video to make, I'm so grateful that you shared. I'm teary and overwhelmed half the time and I feel so much less alone. Thank you so much. We all understand and sometimes it just helps when you have an audience with similar issues to talk to
I’m 40 and exactly like this at work, Humiliating and yes you do feel like a kid when you need so much help, It’s frustrating and when you do have a good day and you can’t do it again the next day it all starts again
I'm 22 and I've started 4 different degrees and dropped out all of them, here in Brazil public colleges are 100% free, so at least I'm not in debt. My parents have been supporting me this whole time and told me to only focus on my studies, so I've never had a formal job. I just dropped out for the 4th time and im felling so depressed, anxious and lost, i have no idea what I'm doing. I'm convinced i wont ever finish a degree and I'm 22 and never worked in my life, so how the hell am I gonna get a job?? I'm honestly so exausted and have no hope for the future. I can't see myself living for a long time, life is draining and I feel like I'm on my limit. So yeah
I want to share my story I was "diagnosed" With adhd this year ("diagnosed" Cuz my psychiatrist told that yeah i have adhd but they need to make me go through alot of things just to be 100% sure to give me meds [it means that i need to give them half of my pay check if i want to be treated by this clinic) But i got kicked out of school around 4 years ago from school as i was struggling with depresion and panic attacks and well i got home schooled for half of the year and in peace i almost got straight A's but then they said that i need to comeback to school cuz i will not be able to pass my finals(and i want to call this bullshit cuz from average student i became straight A's student in half of a year) and now well i am working in convince store struggling with learning 3d art cuz noone wanted to help me even when i asked hundreds of thousand times for this until i stopped.
GOD are you me?! LITERALLY exactly what I am going through RIGHT NOW. Just spoke to my tutor and I've barely been in my degree for 2 months. Heartbreaking. Feel like I might drop out. I started vlogging everyday. Suffering at the moment. I have no idea what to do. I feel trapped. Every single thing you said is EXACTLY what I'm going through.
I really relate to everything you're saying as someone with ADHD in their first year of college. In order to start taking the classes I'm interested in I have to take classes with intense writing, reading, and note taking and hard deadlines and so much is thrown at me every week. I think I might show this video to others when I need them to understand what I'm going through.
Having a hard time in Uni working on a bachelor's at the moment and having a bit of a breakdown this morning with three days to turn in a paper and two days to my MH evaluation. And I can't possibly express how much this video makes me feel understood. It's a huge accomplishment that you got through it and pushed. It is extremely hard for us, diagnosed or suspecting. It is a big thing to celebrate, sticking through things and knowing that you did your absolute best. -hugs⁻
You’re not alone my friend. I have a ton of uni-work to do right now and I’m growing around just like you. I’m fully aware that I’m shooting my self in foot but I can’t even sit open try to do the work.
I feel you, I’m afraid as well. What will happen when my parents are no longer here? not having support makes a huge difference. I withdrew from grad school and all I have to show for it is more debt. I hope that you can find some support and find the next step to help you do what is best for your well-being.
This is exactly what happened to me and college...thank you for sharing. It’s so discouraging when people think we are lazy or slackers when in reality we are struggling:(. Everything you talked about hit home with me...you are incredibly strong. I appreciate you for being real.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m struggling to dig myself out of a depressive episode. Some of my profs are great and understanding and some make me wish I never reached out for help at all. It’s hard to know how to advocate for yourself when your held down by so much internalized shame. I’m hoping I can one day look at my frantic emails to profs and laugh… here’s to hoping
I did quit university… Idk if it was adhd, I was in a depressive episode, I just couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t write my thesis, I couldn’t see the end of what I wanted to do, I was lying to everyone, I just didn’t go to any of my exams. But it’s like I just couldn’t get myself to do what I was supposed to, I did whatever else. I’m at my second shot at college, end of second year and I’m in the same spot again. And like you say I can’t get myself to care while at the same time I just want to disappear because why am I like this…
I could relate to this...I also have inattentive .I sometimes think the same way that sometimes I become really scared to reach out for help .Unless if the person giving the help doesn't stress and helps me get through with attention and care .For the most part I don't reach out for how I'm going to be treated in the process 🙀
I only recently got diagnosed with ADHD after failing for several semesters and speaking with a counselor about my turmoil. I had done fairly well in grade school with my ADHD because I suppose I am fairly bright and had high test grades but a lot of 0's for homework so I ended up an overall decent A and B student in the end. I am in a rigorous computer science major now and although I did really well my first two years in community college un-diagnosed by finally learning some study skills and having a few friends to help keep me in check I still had a rude awakening in university when the difficulty had increased. I could never learn from lectures and I could only do things at the last minute when I became really stressed. Doing 10 page papers the night before and writing 14 programs in a single day and hoping they all work, as well as studying for just a few hours before the exam and not doing homework was the just way I have always done it through college, but the increasing difficulty made me just fall short every time. I wouldn't get the homework done for the advanced math course and my only studying for the exam was just the night before. I could only maybe get around a 50 average because I could only get 50% of the material covered. It really beat down at me and I just felt maybe I was lazy or too stupid for this major. My family who thought I was really bright made jokes that I was doing doctor level years for just a bachelor's. I still have yet to get the medication just yet and see how that goes but I am very hopeful and relieved in my soul to say the least. Perhaps the stimulants won't solve everything and it never truly goes away, but I at least know now I have a fighting chance. It will be a tough one though. Because of my high grades in community college my cumulative GPA still kept me from being in academic probation, but I have learned now that my Institutional GPA at the university is so low that I will now need an A for every class I take from this point forward and then some. There is a good chance I won't graduate and my debt is piling on. I actually had a good chance of graduating debt free because of some financial aid and me working part-time night shift. I had paid off every semester, but now I no longer quality for financial aid after 6 years, so I will have debt and low chance of success, but at least now I can rest easy it wasn't all my fault and I now have a chance at taking more control over my life that I didn't have before. Maybe if school doesn't pan out I can still make it as an entrepreneur and continue my hobbies of streaming and indie game development. I can say I understand the pain well and I congratulate you on receiving your diploma, I hope I can fair at least that well. I gave up on going for a Master's after having failed a number of the same classes as much as four or five times.
@@jacob2431992 Unfortunately not. I am still in school hell. I was hoping I'd finally finish this semester out but had to drop one but looks like I will pass the other three and I will possibly wrap it up the next semester and take an extra class or two I don't need to raise my GPA. I got an A on my capstone project and all that is squared away, but I am still working with the school with various grade forgiveness programs they offer to just try and get it over with. I wonder if it's worth it to still continue but the sink cost fallacy is pretty strong and not wanting to disappoint my family so bad after spending so much time with school. There is more that has gone in my life that have made things very difficult other than the ADHD and counseling has helped that some. I am in a situation where most of the issues have to pile up and I am unable to express it to anyone in my family because it wouldn't be worth the risk and I can't lie suicide has definitely been on my mind a lot over the years. I am still hanging in there though. I managed to get at least a good girlfriend this year who has been really great to me and really everything I been looking for in a partner which I was unsure would ever happen, so some things are looking up at least. I have to count my blessings where they are to keep my sanity at least
Most of the things you said in your video sound like it's describing me. I have Asperger and ADHD as well. I got a degree, I got a job doing this but I face so many situations like you in which people don't know how to deal with us properly... Thanks for the video. Hug from South America.
I feel this. I just finished an associates degree and it was such an uphill battle. It took me almost 4 years to complete. I have a lot of other stuff going on as well but I watch others around me breeze right through things. It takes so much more effort to accomplish things.
I feel you. I'm trying to complete an undergraduate degree too and I am about to have a (second) mental breakdown. I almost quit entirely, I'm going to try and stick it out
I did a 3 years bachelor's in 5 years and it was a massive struggle. There were subjects there that I just couldn't study and I only skated by, not to mention that I only attended like maybe 10% of my classes because of the social anxiety. Eventually I finished it a year after that particular course was cancelled at my uni. Some years later Master's was a lot easier because I did it remotely and I stumbled into a group of people that did the "boring" assignments, while I did the stuff that was the most interesting to me.
![Diggy Graves - Red Vineyard [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8Ro085T0mnQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Update: I failed! But I received a diploma instead of a full masters. Oh well.. At least I tried my best and stuck with it.
ADHD Management I hope you are ok. I’m kind of confused about this comment. You got a diploma, but you failed!? To me it sounds like you succeeded. 💪🏻
Watched 95% of your videos and I felt every word you said and struggle you described.
I’ve just discovered that I have ADHD. It was such a revelation. It explained everything that happened to me through my whole life.
Now, I’m on my third try to finish a college, final year. And it is certain that I will get my degree.
I Failed/given up two collages before..felt miserable after that. The educational system killed me. It was devastating. I didn’t have any self esteem lest after that. But..I gave myself enough time to recover, like 5 years, and I’m finally doing it. Slowly but I’m not giving up..
Please, be kind and understanding to yourself. That is the most important thing.
@@BeatFreakDJs a diploma is a lesser exit qualification. I was doing a masters degree and failed my dissertation basically.
Isn't medication working?
@@adlex1212 Yeah, but I still failed.
You did not "fail," you just have not reached your goal...YET. Take a moment to breathe, and get back up again. Remember your last point within this video, "I'm going to do it at a pace I can handle."
I'm 22 and currently in uni. I feel this exact same way and cried while listening to this. I don't care about any degrees anymore, I just want to be happy. I don't believe in myself at all. It's almost impossible to think I'll ever be able to become successful in any studies or jobs the way I am. I'm just tired. Every new opportunity feels temporary, I'm just waiting for myself to f*ck up someway and lose everything. I'll just keep screwing up time after another until I can't take it anymore. I don't see a happy ending to my life.
Dont ever give up bro, just consider our lives as a test, do our best, live our life to the fullest. Me too still in uni, well I did messed up but at least I tried, so do you. Please keep believe in yourself, have self love, meditation & excercise in the morning helped me alot and I think the same will apply to you. Please dont ever give up! Love you.
Dide am fucking 22 years old and fkn skipped my first bachelor year twice now
This happened to me in college and I didn't care either. College was like swimming in mud.
Every single word you said resonated with me. I’m going thru hard times. I’m a dad with no education. Only barely passing exams. I choose it-development while I hav ADD on top of that. Life ain’t easy, but watching your videos help me bare with it. Stay healthy and keep up the good work!
Keep going, Claude! There'll be setbacks and road bumps, but you can achieve you ambitions in good time.
May God bless you to keep pushing forward dude!
I also never completed college, and I also work in it-development. I like it, so I can actually focus on it, but I feel like there are a lot of gaps in my knowledge, specially those parts which are more boring to study.
I also feel a lot to most of it resonated with me too
It takes 5 hours to solve one simple math exercises or an hour to watch 15 min video, so i can relate.
😭😭😭😭😭
@@keikei1943 same?
Literally why I dropped out of college I couldn’t pass a math class I took 3 times and was threatened to be kicked out and not able to take the class again I tried so hard to pass but I just couldn’t
@@tarynriver but you i find something in music hope i can make it so not everyone must study good, we are different
XD XD. Yeeep. Takes 2-3x longer than everyone else, if not more.
In tears watching this video. I have never come across something that resonated so much. The way you described everything to perfection shocks me. "It feels like I have nothing left to give." wow, I felt that. I am struggling immensely with my undergraduate degree. I constantly think I should drop out every single day. I cannot do this anymore. I am so scared that I am going to fail my first semester of university. I am drained completely. I am struggling to get medication which is making life harder. Thank you so much for making this video. I really appreciate it. It feels as if there are other people out there facing similar issues.
Man, I'm struggling to get medication myself because meds are so expensive. It's really hard. It's really hard. However I'm using AI to help me with college work. I scored an A+ on an online test with the help of Bing. I wish I could have done it on my own but no matter how hard I work I never seem to be on top of my game. I'm just leveraging technology to help me get through this nightmare called college.
This whole video hit so close to home. Every bit of it. It’s so hard and no one gets it. It’s impossible to explain and the pressure never stops.
It is so scary how all our stories are so so similar, and people just don't get us.
I can feel with you. Because of those ADHD related issues I quit university. Sure some of my professors tryed to help me, but I think nobody knows how an ADHD brain works.
I got my diagnosis at age 26. Quit university straight after that and made an apprenticeship.
I know, I've could have achieved more in live, without ADHD. It sucks, for sure, but it's not a reason to give up.
I quit right before I was gonna finish my thesis, the pressure of was just too much and my tutor wasn't helping it either, she would only give me 15 minutes of her time every week and wouldn't even reply to my e-mails. I feel you so much...
@@lizzy4827 sorry to hear that
I have adhd, depression and cptsd. I feel like I went into university at the wrong time. I haven’t healed from my trauma, my depression has gotten worse and I really struggle with my adhd. I truly believe going into university with only online school was a bad idea. I’m going to try my best to finish this semester with decent grades, then just take a gap year and hopefully covid will end. I don’t think it’s the school that’s hard but it’s really just me.
Man, I felt this on EVERY level.
You're a good dude mate.
Praying for your success.
Thanks. Almost done!
Formal education wasn't built for the neurodiverse mindset. Why do you think most ADHD folk go entrepreneurial? Because formal education teaches you how to be a subservient employee. And anyone with ADHD knows we ain't naturally down for that but we just tolerate it because £££.
I couldn't agree more.
@@souvikkundu I'm glad to hear!
I’m overwhelmed with different business ideas and I just need something to try. I’m tired of starting things and quitting.
Man that’s a great way of putting it. I’ve always hated school, but was convinced on going back. I regret not following my true passions, like making music and art.
@@muccigane2351 I hated school, too! But like ADHD Management, I too went back to do a masters to "prove to myself" that I wasn't educationally incompatible. I was awarded a distinction in an intensive Software Engineering course. It's so cliche, but if I can do it, then there's no reason why others cannot.
Thanks for being so honest and baring it all so that the rest of us don’t feel as alone.
The brain fogginess is really hard to explain and deal with. I managed through uni basically by building crippling anxiety into my life so I could get things done. But that's not sustainable, and I ended up treating my anxiety only to find I can't do anything without that anxiety.
The more I watch your videos the more I feel like I am looking into a mirror! You are narrating my life! I am struggling so much with uni myself currently, which is why I started wondering what was wrong with me, because everyone around me seemed fine (as fine as you can be when you're in uni). I am looking to get sorted out if I do have ADD but... seriously, the more I learn the more I am convinced I got it. Especially hearing you talk. It's an odd kind of relief really.
7:00 as someone with ADHD and currently busting my bum trying to graduate highschool and get accepted into a good university, I %100 agree with you. People dont understand how hard it is to just sit down and study. I would literally prefer be a garbage man rather than studying, because it feels like real physical torture. How do we manage this? If this world wasnt made for people with ADHD, what are we to do?
Be homeless? Jobless? Lonely? Unsuccessful?
No man, if the world isn’t made for people like us, let’s try to change it in a way which lets people realize what we’re going through and pave a way that suits our brains. It’s hard as hell, I’m not gonna lie and I hope you manage to get what you want, somethings that could maybe help you are sports and taking frequent breaks when learning.
I myself graduated high school fairly good and something that tremendously helped me was learning with other people and explaining them what I learned, then listen to what they learned and then we’d correct each other when we feel necessary (same subject of course), maybe that could help aswell? Anyways stay strong, I learned that we can’t hope, that life gets easier, but rather get stronger so that we can endure it (and hopefully overcome most of the Challenges we face:)). Hope it helped and stay strong💪🏽
Finished a Master's that was on-line, it was enormous stress for my ADHD me. The entire discipline issue has been a lifelong challenge. There with you brother. Remember that you are actually very intelligent and simply process learning differently. The best way for me is to take only one or two classes at a time. The RSD is so real for me too.
By the way... your channel is making a huge difference for me. I am no longer alone. Thank you so much!!
Congrats on your success. You give me hope 🌟
Hi @doreen Morris I am pursuing MBA and really struggling to keep my head above water because of my ADHD. Brain fog, multitasking, deadlines, tests, assignments, presentations, reports are all too much !!!! I really want to make it..... but i feel like i am stuck in a loop of brain fog.... i can barely function!! is there any tips to make it through ?? how did you do it !!??
When I had to do things I wasn’t interested in I felt like I was slogging through mud, or even quicksand! One thing I did that helped me was give myself permission to make a D. I decided that a D was better than an F, and I would get an F if I didn’t do it at all.
Oddly enough, that helped me to keep going. Lowering my expectations of myself reduces my stress which help me to keep going. I was miserable at times, but I made it through, and I didn’t make bad grades after all!
I got the degree and the certification I needed, and I had a career I liked.
Birdsong - Way to go! You are awesome! You give the rest of us hope.
Yeah! My bar is "just pass." I aim for the lowest passing grade. It's a stupid, ridiculous struggle, but sometimes I surprise myself and actually get more done than I thought possible.
I feel like it's the opposite of what people tell you: "Aim for the stars! Aim hight! You'll reach something!"
I'm like: "Fuck no. I suck. I suck terribly. But maybe, maaaybe, I could sit down and squeeze 5 minutes in. Maybe I can move and little by little make the bed. Just a tiny step at a time. The barest result is great success!"
This seems to be working _a lot_ better for me. Progress is _teeth grindingly slow,_ but any progress is progress!
You're an outstanding RUclipsr, especially the information and remedies regarding ADHD. I loved the facts at the beginning and the way you elaborated on it. Every video comes out I and understand the struggles because these are the exact problems I'm facing in my life. When you mentioned the part about people with adhd need guidance and support, it made me realize why I flew through highschool and now lack in college. I had foster parents who'd woop my ass if I failed in highschool - Whilst now, I don't have that support. I begin to understand myself more with every video you produce. Keep up the excellent work. Thank you so much. You have taught me more than any medical practitioner ever could.
Great comment, thanks!
Best adhd channel i have yet to watch and subscribe to.
Same with the shift in educational success from when living in foster care to when living on my own!
I feel like foster kids need some kind of safety network when we turn 18!
I got financial help one time- and my foster mom was kind enough to be there occasionally, but I really would've benefited from regularly talking to someone as wise as this guy, before I dropped out of my first education half way through!
I know what you going through. It's tough. I almost completed my one thesis then gave up. Then started a new thesis from scratch. At masters level. Sigh. As you say, this world is not ADD friendly. I'm not blaming anyone, merely pointing out the facts.
I wanna cry thank you i am so thankful for your clips! They are spot on with me. You are subscribing me to a T
Doug Redall I did cry he makes me cry because I no longer feel alone but it’s hard having this disorder 😔
Dude I felt like crying while watching this. It's as if I was speaking to myself. I wish I could just share this video to everyone whos ever known me and every teacher that thought i was just lazy. Im 22 and just found out that I have ADHD ive always felt so different and so less than everyone else. Its nice to know there are others out there. I am in my 3rd year of college and I have the exact same thoughts. Its all just too much for me right now. I wish there was some way I could finish this degree but as it is the thought of continuing and pushing through makes me want to vomit. Thankyou for making this video
I feel the exact same way
This is the first time I've ever posted a comment on RUclips ever. But this video resonates with me so much, I felt compelled to type this comment to tell you how much I appreciate your videos. This one hit the heart my friend.
I
The school system really doesn't understand. I avoid seeking out help to because typically the "help" isn't helpful its shameful and wrong. Who needs that when they are stressed and scared.
Ahhh this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. You took the words right out of my mouth. Im trying to finish the last course in my degree and Im so mentally withdrawn and have struggled so much to get here already. I keep needing extensions and I dont know how long it will take my brain to recover after each assignment so its hard to predict what my needs are. Im an intelligent person but Im so tired being a fish having to climb a tree all the time when all I want to do is swim in the ocean! I am also a perfectionist and fear rejection, criticism, invalidation, rejection. I struggle to dicipline myself when Im ina state of fear. There are times wjere I am productive and functional but its so exausting trying to be on all the time. I will obsess over small details and get stuck there for hours and dissociate. People tell me to just push through and not worry about the details but I feel like if I mess up one detail it will make the rest not make sense. I just want to be free.
Thank you so so much for this video. Ive been suffering in silence and longed for validation or someone to understand. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Your honesty and vulnerability was so helpful for me.
I believe in you, you are not alone in this, same goes for everyone else out there reading this❤
I feel the same exact way. And it is rough. I feel alone and isolated half the time but you gotta keep your head up man. Keep pushing through.
Ughhh I just finished my masters degree which I paid for myself and got really low marks on my dissertation. I honestly did not care one bit if I failed whilst writing it even though I'd paid so much money out of my own pocket for it. I'm the same, I will sit and procrastinate for 2-3 weeks and then write 6000 words in one day when I deice to work from a coffee shop. I wont even read over it. Now that I've finished I've only started thinking I could have ADHD. Wish I'd watched this sooner! Thanks for sharing
Lol that's exactly what happened to me, I wrote my entire 10000 word dissertation in.... Wait for it... 3 days. And I had to go to work on one of those days. Although I had been working on my final project before hand, (my masters was a practical project plus a dissertation. I left everything late really. I didn't recover for a whole month. I'm glad it's over)
Same brother, thank you for sharing!!
Yes.. that feeling of guilt/shame..knowing you’re not stupid but needed that guidance and extra time..
Trying to work and go to school for our ego..but ultimately he to cut hours to the minimum..
Half way through nursing school..almost quit 2 weeks ago..
God bless
I really appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing. It helped me to hear that I am not the only one with these feelings and lacking on follow through most of the time to turn in assignments in. It is so frustrating to see everyone else succeeding in school, when I am not and it's all due to me not being able to put in the time. I am trying to put in the time to finish my bachelors degree (for the second time around) and my doctorate degree but sometimes it does not even seem worth it, because I feel like I can't keep up. Hell I can't even get a simple routine down that I want to do, let alone try and work on homework that I am not the slightest bit interested in. Thank you for making these videos, it has helped me a lot with managing my ADHD. I hope you are doing well!
Hey, I can totally feel your pain as someone who did a master's program in the UK while actually being completely unaware that I had/have ADHD. It's not by any means easy, but it can be done. The education system is against us but once we prove ourselves by getting through it with a degree, we can thrive in the real world. Doing this degree will open so many doors - mostly through proving to employers that you're smart, capable and able to stick with things. And more importantly, once we've proved this, us ADHDers have an advantage over the 'most intelligent' people.
To be honest I disagree that the most intelligent people are always at an advantage. It's the curious, the creative and the empathetic types who make a mark on the world and have the potential to generate positive social change. It's more about your attitude and your positive energy than the grade you get on an academic essay.
I hope you made/are making it through your studies. Rooting for you!
Great video. Nothing but honesty! Completely relate to you. Especially the part where you mentioned after your parents are gone. I'm in a high earning job, yet i'm in debt with no savings. I can't explain this to anyone without ADHD.
lived my entire life not knowing how bad i suffered from adhd... dropped out of uni, took a job as a garbage man, and went on to drive truck for decades... at age 46, i was diagnosed with it and got the meds and needed help, now i design warships for the US government... what a change!
I am a 20 year old that just got accepted into university and that suspects I have adhd, made an appointment for next week. May I ask what kind of medications and other help you received? I really want to achieve my goals
Iv said this to myself so many times that I just don't fit in this world iv always felt different always wanted to live in a log cabin in the woods lol
What a powerful video, man. I know you just connected with a ton of people as there are many of us ADHDers who have been right where you are now. I have to say, you’re braver than I. During the summer after high school, I signed up for fall classes at my local junior college... I never showed up for the first day of class and never went back. I just straight up said, NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE! I can only imagine how hard it is going for an advanced degree. I wish you the best! Just remember, we can do hard things. By the way, what are your aspirations? Try to keep the end goal in mind, but more importantly, remember WHY you want to get your degree. Always start with why and the rest becomes a little easier.
Kiechi Morisato No, you’re right. I misunderstood the terminology. I looked up the definition since you pointed it out... shows you how much I know about schooling. Going to edit that now. 😅
My only reason to get through it now is to increase my chances of a higher salary job. I kind of did it for the wrong reason in the first place. There's been aspects of it I found interesting but man... Essays are NOT my thing and its a poor measurement of intelligence IMO.
ADHD Management I can relate to that. Although I’m perfectly literate, reading and writing were my downfall all throughout school.
ADHD Management same here, writing papers is like slogging through mud for me. Sometimes slogging through quicksand! I did graduate from college though, good thing some of it was interesting 😀 somethings I’m great at and somethings are so challenging I nearly choked on them.
I'm watching this after having an emotional breakdown cus I spent most of the day studying and catching up with my course material because I have an assignment due tonight but I know I'm not gonna be able to turn it in on time. As it gets closer to the deadline I just don't see the point in even doing it. I just feel absolutely horrible right now.
This world is not designed for people like us. Those words are harsh but true.
I think we avoid getting help because it re-enforces the feelings of incompetence we have, I dropped out of uni again this year because of how daunting it feels but it does end and sticking at it is extremely difficult but there are people who understand you and how much harder it is for you. We’re all rooting for you! The process is so much harder to overcome then the content itself but you can achieve it and take pride in it :)
I’ve only recently discussed ADHD with my Dr and I just watched this video and cried. I relate to everything you feel and I’ve felt so alone with my struggles before. You have no idea how wonderful it was to see that I’m not alone in this struggle and that there are a lot of people going through it. I genuinely believe there is something out there for us, and it might just take time to figure out exactly what it is. Thank you for sharing such a raw and personal video! It really helps for people like me.
Same, took me 6 years to finish my degree, twice the time it should take.
Yaas... All through school as a child people talked about how I was going to get "help" but then it became clear that their help wasn't helping and that's when it all turns to: "you have a bad attitude.."
Yupp my parents thought giving me a planner and having the teachers sign it was a good idea but tbh in middle school where kids are already so mean it was embarrassing as hell and any time I lost a paper they’d write it to my parents and I’d be grounded even though it wasn’t my fault I did the work I just couldn’t figure out where I put it
So glad I found your channel.
You're the first mental health youtuber where I relate to literally every single word coming out of your mouth. Thanks for sharing your experiences
I know what I’m supposed to be doing but I just can’t get started on it
Story of my Life
Fighting yourself over and over and over to just buckle down and do what you’re supposed to do is so exhausting man… and when you said things that should feel important to you just don’t and you can’t help it. Wow that resonated with me hard, got me emotional…. Much love dude. Keep making these vids they help me understand this crazy brain of ours!
that's actually what happened to me in my college 3rd year. Even though I am a psychology major and my teachers have licenses in psychology stuff, it's quite hard like why they don't understand me? yeah they give me support and what overwhelmed was that we don't only have research but a mock exam for future licensure then they told me that I could solo my research and it's just a punch in my face, I couldn't take it and I too know that I am not depressed or anything, it is just that overwhelming. I got diagnosed with adult adhd, and if I was examined earlier my psychiatrist told me that I have mixed type and now as a consequence I both have depression and anxiety as offshoot of my adhd. (it was way way too stressful for me since primary school to high school, particularly being born to an Asian family where academic excellence and conscientiousness matters the most sigh and college was just a complete hell).
You put into a video exactly what I’m feeling rn, thank you
It hit so close to home I teared up. Thank you for voicing what I can't seem to be able to express yet.
I was looking up videos for people with ADHD, who dropped out of uni. I’ve said almost every word of this myself, organizational task management feels like torture. I’m at the end of a gap year after burning out my first year of undergrad. I already don’t want to go back, and seeing everyone struggle through online learning, makes it feel worthless.
Your right.. 8:48..🥺😭..we suffer silently and nobody will understand us
Yes...feeling shamed and avoiding things that stress us out -----make things snowball into bigger crises.
This video put into words EXACTLY what I've been trying to explain to my university and how I've felt for the past 2-3 years; and I'm only doing an undergraduate degree! I actually sent the link to this video to one of my lecturers to help him understand. I'm eager to see his response. This really helped me accept that how I'm feeling is something that has been experienced before by other students with ADHD. It made me feel a bit better about myself, too. Thank you so much for making this video. I'm sure it would have been difficult. I hope, even though you ended up failing, that you get some comfort in the fact that this video has probably helped so many people accept themselves and change the perception of their struggles in education from themselves to the structural inequalities of the higher education industry.
you’re helping so many people feel seen. thanks for sharing your story.
I relate. School just started and due to Covid, classes are remote. As if it wasn’t hard enough having ADHD, trying to focus at home is a beast. I’m taking 3 upper division classes and they’re already giving out quizzes and homework like there’s no tomorrow. I had a panic attack during one of the quizzes and had to just sit there and try not to flip out for the class to see. Even though things are remote, we still have to keep the camera on for the professors to watch us to make sure we don’t “cheat”. And if that’s not enough, my depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Been battling depression for years now and around this time it has gotten somewhat worse. Hard for me to stay motivated and do simple things. Sorry for the rant. Just had to let that off.
Thank you for your honesty. Every word resonated with me.
Wow. I didn’t finish college. I only have a semester left. I want to go back and finish but I have ADHD too and really relate to the things in this video. It’s so hard.
bro you are so sincere here, you say what i felt many times but i'd never have balls to say it out loud
Thank you Stuart. It’s so good to hear you express verbally what I & so many others have & are experiencing. I failed at college many years ago & was very down about it afterwards. I lost my mum & dad several years ago & struggled to cope without their support. Close friends have helped carry me through & fortunately I’m managing to soldier on. I’m really impressed with you channel. Your ability to present information so clearly, honestly & professionally will stand you in good stead for a successful future what ever you chose to do.
Thank you so much for sharing this, I feel like you're voicing my exact experience and it's so good to hear someone talk about the struggles in a real way
Same, though I gave up entirely rn because social anxiety made it worse.
This spoke to me so much. I’m in my second year of my undergraduate psychology degree and I’ve been struggling so much recently with deadlines. Always last minute all nighters, submitting at the last minute (literally). I’m just questioning if it’s even right for me because as you said, the education system just doesn’t accommodate well for us. I been thinking so much about dropping out but I know I’ll regret it so badly if I do so I’m trying to power through it... even though I have lost nearly all interest, motivation and desire. And my sleep pattern is awful, I can’t sleep till like 3/4/5am every night (if that), I just don’t get tired, and then I oversleep and wake up absolutely exhausted and miss my lectures and seminars... sucks. I’m really behind on my work. But if I drop out I have no qualifications (I messed my A Levels up) so I’ll just be stuck in a dead end job... literally what you said in this video. I go through phases of wanting to drop out on and off. And I avoid getting help and avoid anything that stresses me out just like you said towards the end. I agree, there’s not much out there in terms of support systems for us :/ it’s also affecting my relationships as recently all I keep doing is falling out with those closest to me, I get angry and triggered way too easily. Yeah, sucks
Yes same, i cant be bothered anymore. I was better off before the pandemic but how are you pushing through ?
@@kiranm845 I actually just finished my final year, although I have deferred my dissertation for later in the summer. I powered through, and weirdly enough, learning from home due the pandemic actually suited me better because I no longer had the stress of having to make lectures on time etc and no fear of being late (I could just attend the online lectures in bed lol). This year I also finally reached out and got help for my bad mental health (depression etc.) and my uni also gave me extensions when I requested due to my ADHD. My advice would be to not give up, especially if you're close to finishing your course :) seek help and support if you're struggling, either from your university, or even just start with speaking to a friend like I did
@@kieran.96 thanks for your advice, ill seek help as well. I get adjustments for adhd too but i slacked off all my lectures. Was okay during the first month but got sick of it. Ill try to find out what can i do about my situation.
@@kiranm845 yh I've slacked off a lot too put always managed to get through it when it mattered. As long as you can go through the lecture slides/replays when you need them, ie for coursework and revision, hopefully you can get through it, that's what I did anyway (only looked at them when I needed to for coursework and exams)
@@kieran.96 thats what worked for me. I stopped submitting assignments thats the problem. Before this i barely studied for final exams but i would get 60-65 by submitting late work
I'm ADHD dual type, 2nd year in computer science.
The only reason I'm as successful as I am is because I had a passion for knowledge since ever pretty much. I had it installed in me by various figures in my life.
I also have some of the things you are referring to, especially that fear of losing my parents, who I love very very much.
This unwillingness to do anything, my solution is to work through enjoyment. I find that it is very easy for me to enjoy things while I'm on my meds. Discrete math assignments, that logically speaking I should hate, I enjoy, and I mean really. It's hard to start sometimes, but it always ends up as the best thing ever. I pretty much made it into a hobby, I think. I enjoy playing video games for about an hour a day, but I can study for hours and have an amazing time, much better than any video game. The success of understanding is exhilarating, and this is what I think we need to aim for.
Regarding the avoidance, whenever I encounter a problem TA or a problem prof, I ask for help from my disability councilor in the university. When I finish the degree, she'll be the one I thank right after my parents. She tells instructors off, explains where they are wrong in their treatment and where I'm wrong when I am. She's like a mother, sister, teacher and guide, all rolled into one. Me being older than her usual crowd (27 vs 18-22) probably helps in that.
But really, I agree, this friend you're referring to, thats exactly what she is.
YO I FEEL U SO BAD
i'm in my 4th of undergrad, for psychology of all things, but was only diagnosed about 2y ago; mostly, I believe, because I like to think of myself as rather intelligent, but that's not quite enough to get through university. It has been a merciless struggle through and through, other mental illnesses factoring heavily as well. I've been just getting by. Keeping my gpa JUSt high enough.
After my diagnosis and a bit of a break (xmas school break) I started learning more about adhd. Started putting some strategies in place.
I started off the Winter 2020 semester ready to give it a go. I hadn't done awful the last semester and after the break I felt like i had the footing. So I got into it. I made myself go to class. I'd spend my free time on campus (i dont't have friends so thats all the time) at a study location and just hope i'd get shit done. And it fkn worked. nearing the end of the semester my grades had been good. what i know im intellectually capable of. And I'd only missed 2 classes. The entire semester.
And then, March 13th, covid-19 hit my city and the quarantine began. I haven't had an in person class since. Nor have I been able to study on campus. (obviously)
Now I'm home alone all the time in just my bedroom because i rent and only feel comfortable here. and it is nearly fkn impossible to kick ADHD from your bedroom, let me tell you.
I want to become a psychologist. That's the plan. I know what im getting myself into and its kinda terrifying. But as of yet I refuse to let my ADHD foil my plans.
Also, after the hell i've been through in undergrad, it is rather dissapointing that I will likely not have a proper graduation ceremony.
This video made me fell less alone. Thank you.
it's help to know that someone going through the same thing. thank you for sharing.
Your videos are excellent, you should be proud.
Oh man. I just now discovered this, just diagnosed at 41, and suddenly, brave people, leaders, rather, like you are speaking a truth I can understand. I’ve been fighting this tooth and nail. Bless you. So glad I found your videos. I hope whatever you’re doing right now sets your heart on fire.
Seems like I found the channel I was looking for... I am a first-year at uni. Thank you! I hope you are doing better and have a fulfilling life. You've achieved a lot
Man. This hit me hard too! Im in the process of applying to a doctoral program and physical therapy and I have to repeat all these prerequisites because they expired. It’s been so tolling and it makes the light at the tunnel very small. I often want to give up and I tell my friends I just wanna do nothing at all. I need constant change and this seems like the only create I feel that it’s different daily. But Getting through the prerequisites is killing me. I’ve had to withdraw from two classes this year because it just stressed me out so hard I couldn’t keep up. And you’re absolutely right our educational system is not very supportive. But there are a few professors that understand and are willing to help. But I always get the coined the term “try harder”! Pff been working nothing but hard! I’m so glad I discovered your channel!
hey. ADHD crew here too. I feel the same as you do - about the low stress tolerance etc. Stress seriously undermines my mental clarity.
keep pushing regardless keep pushing.
I’m literally crying feeling the same way rn, I’ve constantly been wanting to drop out cause it’s becoming worse mentally - I have no passion to do what I even liked to do. Adult ADHD is so hard to deal with 😭
this resonates with me a lot. Hope you're doing well and you continue to strive. Commenting for the algorithm.
You are spot on my friend thank you for your videos especially this one
I've literally got the t-shirt, left school at 16 with 5 F's, went to college early 20's, dropped out, went again dropped out again, went a 3rd time passed, just, went a 4th time and passed. and after 5 years of it, still never got a degree, but got a diploma. and from 16 to 27, had about 30 jobs. And the bottle, well that's been going on, for almost 30 years.. but, its about picking yourself up, dusting off, forgiving yourself a bit if you can, (we don't do that well) and pushing forward. Great video, thanks!! And i've been a father in 3 different families... so.. there's that.
That one week recovery after exams. Feeling like you want to runaway. Mentally giving up because of overwhelm. Not touching work for weeks. All that I felt/did/do. I pretty much “ran away” from grad school. Still gathering the courage and mental energies to finish my degree. I could relate very well with everything that you said. Thanks for sharing!
I just want to thank you SO much!! THIS video actually led me to an ADHD specialist psychiatrist right down the street!!!! Thank you for being raw, vulnerable & helping the rest of us (well, me at least 😁) by letting us know we're not alone❣️❣️
This is something I've never seen talked about and while I know it was a hard video to make, I'm so grateful that you shared. I'm teary and overwhelmed half the time and I feel so much less alone. Thank you so much. We all understand and sometimes it just helps when you have an audience with similar issues to talk to
I’m just so happy you’re willing to share. You are always able to put into words exactly how I feel!
Just being able to post this video with all the pressure you had, on top of ADHD, is already awesome!
I’m 40 and exactly like this at work, Humiliating and yes you do feel like a kid when you need so much help, It’s frustrating and when you do have a good day and you can’t do it again the next day it all starts again
My ADHD brother I can Relate you are very brave. Keep it up brother take a break
I'm 22 and I've started 4 different degrees and dropped out all of them, here in Brazil public colleges are 100% free, so at least I'm not in debt. My parents have been supporting me this whole time and told me to only focus on my studies, so I've never had a formal job. I just dropped out for the 4th time and im felling so depressed, anxious and lost, i have no idea what I'm doing. I'm convinced i wont ever finish a degree and I'm 22 and never worked in my life, so how the hell am I gonna get a job?? I'm honestly so exausted and have no hope for the future. I can't see myself living for a long time, life is draining and I feel like I'm on my limit. So yeah
Oh my gosh! You've said multiple things I find myself saying now; it's just too much, I've nothing left to give....
I want to share my story
I was "diagnosed" With adhd this year ("diagnosed" Cuz my psychiatrist told that yeah i have adhd but they need to make me go through alot of things just to be 100% sure to give me meds [it means that i need to give them half of my pay check if i want to be treated by this clinic)
But i got kicked out of school around 4 years ago from school as i was struggling with depresion and panic attacks and well i got home schooled for half of the year and in peace i almost got straight A's but then they said that i need to comeback to school cuz i will not be able to pass my finals(and i want to call this bullshit cuz from average student i became straight A's student in half of a year) and now well i am working in convince store struggling with learning 3d art cuz noone wanted to help me even when i asked hundreds of thousand times for this until i stopped.
GOD are you me?! LITERALLY exactly what I am going through RIGHT NOW. Just spoke to my tutor and I've barely been in my degree for 2 months. Heartbreaking. Feel like I might drop out. I started vlogging everyday. Suffering at the moment. I have no idea what to do. I feel trapped. Every single thing you said is EXACTLY what I'm going through.
Jaymie Gill me too
So much respect for you man. I wish I could have a friend like you that can relate so much. You're like the Welsh version of me. 😂
I really relate to everything you're saying as someone with ADHD in their first year of college. In order to start taking the classes I'm interested in I have to take classes with intense writing, reading, and note taking and hard deadlines and so much is thrown at me every week. I think I might show this video to others when I need them to understand what I'm going through.
Having a hard time in Uni working on a bachelor's at the moment and having a bit of a breakdown this morning with three days to turn in a paper and two days to my MH evaluation. And I can't possibly express how much this video makes me feel understood. It's a huge accomplishment that you got through it and pushed. It is extremely hard for us, diagnosed or suspecting. It is a big thing to celebrate, sticking through things and knowing that you did your absolute best. -hugs⁻
You’re not alone my friend. I have a ton of uni-work to do right now and I’m growing around just like you. I’m fully aware that I’m shooting my self in foot but I can’t even sit open try to do the work.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
I feel you, I’m afraid as well. What will happen when my parents are no longer here? not having support makes a huge difference. I withdrew from grad school and all I have to show for it is more debt. I hope that you can find some support and find the next step to help you do what is best for your well-being.
This is exactly what happened to me and college...thank you for sharing. It’s so discouraging when people think we are lazy or slackers when in reality we are struggling:(. Everything you talked about hit home with me...you are incredibly strong. I appreciate you for being real.
I can relate so much. Hang in there, brother.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m struggling to dig myself out of a depressive episode. Some of my profs are great and understanding and some make me wish I never reached out for help at all. It’s hard to know how to advocate for yourself when your held down by so much internalized shame. I’m hoping I can one day look at my frantic emails to profs and laugh… here’s to hoping
I did quit university… Idk if it was adhd, I was in a depressive episode, I just couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t write my thesis, I couldn’t see the end of what I wanted to do, I was lying to everyone, I just didn’t go to any of my exams. But it’s like I just couldn’t get myself to do what I was supposed to, I did whatever else. I’m at my second shot at college, end of second year and I’m in the same spot again. And like you say I can’t get myself to care while at the same time I just want to disappear because why am I like this…
I could relate to this...I also have inattentive .I sometimes think the same way that sometimes I become really scared to reach out for help .Unless if the person giving the help doesn't stress and helps me get through with attention and care .For the most part I don't reach out for how I'm going to be treated in the process 🙀
I only recently got diagnosed with ADHD after failing for several semesters and speaking with a counselor about my turmoil. I had done fairly well in grade school with my ADHD because I suppose I am fairly bright and had high test grades but a lot of 0's for homework so I ended up an overall decent A and B student in the end. I am in a rigorous computer science major now and although I did really well my first two years in community college un-diagnosed by finally learning some study skills and having a few friends to help keep me in check I still had a rude awakening in university when the difficulty had increased. I could never learn from lectures and I could only do things at the last minute when I became really stressed. Doing 10 page papers the night before and writing 14 programs in a single day and hoping they all work, as well as studying for just a few hours before the exam and not doing homework was the just way I have always done it through college, but the increasing difficulty made me just fall short every time. I wouldn't get the homework done for the advanced math course and my only studying for the exam was just the night before. I could only maybe get around a 50 average because I could only get 50% of the material covered. It really beat down at me and I just felt maybe I was lazy or too stupid for this major. My family who thought I was really bright made jokes that I was doing doctor level years for just a bachelor's. I still have yet to get the medication just yet and see how that goes but I am very hopeful and relieved in my soul to say the least. Perhaps the stimulants won't solve everything and it never truly goes away, but I at least know now I have a fighting chance. It will be a tough one though. Because of my high grades in community college my cumulative GPA still kept me from being in academic probation, but I have learned now that my Institutional GPA at the university is so low that I will now need an A for every class I take from this point forward and then some. There is a good chance I won't graduate and my debt is piling on. I actually had a good chance of graduating debt free because of some financial aid and me working part-time night shift. I had paid off every semester, but now I no longer quality for financial aid after 6 years, so I will have debt and low chance of success, but at least now I can rest easy it wasn't all my fault and I now have a chance at taking more control over my life that I didn't have before. Maybe if school doesn't pan out I can still make it as an entrepreneur and continue my hobbies of streaming and indie game development. I can say I understand the pain well and I congratulate you on receiving your diploma, I hope I can fair at least that well. I gave up on going for a Master's after having failed a number of the same classes as much as four or five times.
Hey man, did you manage to get your degree after all?
@@jacob2431992 Unfortunately not. I am still in school hell. I was hoping I'd finally finish this semester out but had to drop one but looks like I will pass the other three and I will possibly wrap it up the next semester and take an extra class or two I don't need to raise my GPA. I got an A on my capstone project and all that is squared away, but I am still working with the school with various grade forgiveness programs they offer to just try and get it over with. I wonder if it's worth it to still continue but the sink cost fallacy is pretty strong and not wanting to disappoint my family so bad after spending so much time with school. There is more that has gone in my life that have made things very difficult other than the ADHD and counseling has helped that some. I am in a situation where most of the issues have to pile up and I am unable to express it to anyone in my family because it wouldn't be worth the risk and I can't lie suicide has definitely been on my mind a lot over the years. I am still hanging in there though. I managed to get at least a good girlfriend this year who has been really great to me and really everything I been looking for in a partner which I was unsure would ever happen, so some things are looking up at least. I have to count my blessings where they are to keep my sanity at least
Most of the things you said in your video sound like it's describing me. I have Asperger and ADHD as well. I got a degree, I got a job doing this but I face so many situations like you in which people don't know how to deal with us properly...
Thanks for the video. Hug from South America.
I feel this. I just finished an associates degree and it was such an uphill battle. It took me almost 4 years to complete. I have a lot of other stuff going on as well but I watch others around me breeze right through things. It takes so much more effort to accomplish things.
I feel you. I'm trying to complete an undergraduate degree too and I am about to have a (second) mental breakdown. I almost quit entirely, I'm going to try and stick it out
I did a 3 years bachelor's in 5 years and it was a massive struggle. There were subjects there that I just couldn't study and I only skated by, not to mention that I only attended like maybe 10% of my classes because of the social anxiety. Eventually I finished it a year after that particular course was cancelled at my uni. Some years later Master's was a lot easier because I did it remotely and I stumbled into a group of people that did the "boring" assignments, while I did the stuff that was the most interesting to me.
Fuck, this hits eerily close to home.