The ONLY DATING ADVICE You Will Ever Need! - Jordan Peterson
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- A lot of people nowadays keep wondering how to make or be the perfect date and overthink if they are good enough for their partner, in this video Jordan Peterson answers that question and offers a practical advice on how to be the perfect date.
Special Thanks To Jordan Peterson for allowing us to share!
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Books By Jordan B Peterson
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3. Maps of Meaning:
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Books Recommended By Jordan B Peterson:
1. The Gulag Archipelago Volume 1: An Experiment in Literary Investigation:
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2. Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche:
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My Grandpa told me back when I was a teen, I’m 36 now,
“You’ll never find the perfect person, you can only try and be the perfect person and hope the other is doing the same”
Good advice!
Great advice from your grandparents. He is absolutely right. There is no such thing as the perfect person .. be the best you can be..
Damn. Gangsta
Fuck… that’s good 😮
Bestest advice
Summarizing the dating advice, “work on yourself and avoid psychopaths”
Yes yes i did the avoid a void and then God hovered over the void and talked and so on and yes did that, came back no one knows.
🤣😂
The challenge lies in explaining that to a self-centered socially-delayed child, or “Redditor” as they are more commonly known.
Crazy women are great in bed though 🤣, Bad girls ain’t no good , but girls ain’t no fun!!
Great message!!
"So many people are so concerned about finding the right person, that they completely forget about what it takes to BE the right person." Do this, and we can heal society.
doesnt help.. :(
@@StrikeDuelist Actually, it does. Once you become the "right" person - you have to find another "right" person. But you are not going to find the right person if you are not the "right" person first.
@@StrikeDuelist :^
@@knrz2562 if u are a kind person, u are worthy
@@knrz2562 No, you have to figure out why you feel unworthy of love. You need counseling to sort that out and heal the wounds of your past. That is what I mean about "becoming the right person." Do the work, invest in yourself, get your head right. And your world view will change. when your world view changes, your experience of the world will change.
"Soft as a dove and wise as a serpant"... I love it.
That’s a biblical quote
There are some legendary shit in the bible, damn
That is true, there are some wise things to learn there.
Not only is it debacle it’s magical so the advice is coming from people who are in the magical community to be as soft as a dove and wise as a serpent
That should be ringing bells
Alastair Crowley look him up with reference to that quote that man was a psychopath
@@elnosworld9893 What do you want to tell us? Is Jordan Peterson a magician?
I don't see a link here.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..
@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
You brought it here because you need to talk to someone about it to process the situation you're going through and haven't yet figured out. That's perfectly normal. Why'd she leave you? For another dude?
Remember that she ran out on you. As much as it hurts, she's not worth the pain.
Here an advice for you guys trying to find a match:
Don't settle for less! You've been working on selfimproving? Take your time. Observe. Then settle.
There is nothing worse than working on yourself, choosing someone with obvious redflags and then falling into the pit you've been working so hard to get out from.
When you settle for less, it may not seem like much on the spot, but as time goes on you will begin to realize just how much you missed out on
@@thebloodwolf9906 how do u define settling for less ?
@@vivekghodvinde I’ll give you an example: You hope for something from partner, like he/she will validate your feelings and comfort you. Then you find someone really attractive, they don’t have that something you hoped for in a partner but you got with them anyways. That is setting for less.
Separated for 5 years .
Single for 5 years by choice
Observed but be open
Believe actions and patterns
More than words
Keep your heart open for possibilities and never let any relationship dim the lamp your holding. Once you see the light you can’t just unseen it
Single for 8 years
Initial few years by choice, then by "I don't know why even though I tried" maybe I lost it. But now I learned to be with my self. Don't have any hope as I keep chasing the same intimacy I got before, but somewhere deep down I think I'll find someone
You definitely cannot unsee it.
I'm also single for 3 years by choice. Let's end this and date, Irene. 😶🌫️
What a waste, go out there and find someone good, don't waste your youth been bitter, it isn't worth it.
You have 2 Greek names : Ειρήνη (means piece ) and Αγγελική- αγγέλα (means the message bringer ). What is your origin/ethnicity? Have you visited Greece?
A tips not only for male but also for female in my perspective: Don't ever misunderstand between kindness and interest, separate between nice man/woman and a person you really want to spend time with. I have seen many people misunderstand this and end up in a unhappy marriage
Yes ... thats the best frnd line 🤣
Everybody wants Love, but nobody wants to take the responsibility for it...
So work on yourself and be the best version due to yourself. Everything will happen at the right time
after hearing this, dating apps really seem pointless
dating apps and social media need to disappear, they didn't do any good to anyone.
They are
Yes, I've only developed trauma from them.
@@yourfutureisnow6480 that is not a normal way of approaching someone. So beware of the people using them
In all things there are exceptions, i met my wife on tinder, couldnt ask for a better person but i agree, most girls i saw there and been on dates are straight up hoes
As a married man that had to leave (basically all his old friends behind).
The number one impediment to a successful relationship and marital life for people (in my experience) is rampant narcissism.
It boggles my mind how little modern men and women (especially the younger generations) are willing to put forth for the other. Most men can't even take 5 minutes out of a day to take out the garbage or cook a meal, it's ridiculous.
We've created an entire generation of useless people that are now 30-40 and are all on Zoloft and Xanax to try and deal with their meaningless existence.
I can't imagine what Gen Z is going to look like 20 years from now.
"Soft men creat hard times.. hard times create hard men." Joe Rogan
@@oliveratgaming That's Rogan quoting a quote there, but it's a good one
Most Men definitely will cook for themselves and especially a good women. Which takes more than 5 minutes btw. And taking out the trash is a given
"A young man once asked Socrates whether or not he should get married. Socrates' response: 'Whichever you do you will regret it'."
“The best way to find a good mate is to be worthy of a good mate.” Summarizes this video perfectly.
You don't find love. Love finds you and when it does you are powerless against it.
Infatuation and lust are emotions we feel. Love is a choice we make.
The kind of "love" that you describe is infatuation. It feels very strong but will not last.
@@davidm4566 Love is definitely a decision based on a multitude of factors. Not just one.
@@davidm4566 No. I'm not talking infatuation. I'm talking about when "love" finds you. Not lust or infatuation but love. You don't don't go looking for love. If you do, you won't find it.
@@Rottimail Respectfully, you are talking about infatuation. If you are describing love as a feeling only, then that is what it is. When it fades, which it will, people divorce their spouse in America.
When people realize that true love is a choice, through the good and the bad, it transcends into something spectacular.
@@davidm4566 I am not talking about infatuation. Yes when love finds you it's your choice after that. I know what I'm saying. Please don't reply to this reply. You thiink one way, I think another.
Fascinating... but I think this is only half right. If you're only trying to be and give what other people want from you, you'll definitely attract other people to you but are they really the people you want to attract? Will it really last? Or will it just end up being a situation that you settle for? I truly believe that if you want to attract the right person for you, you have to give exactly what you want, exactly what you're looking for in a partner. This will help you attract exactly what and who you want and just as importantly, that person will be and want exactly you. So if you want someone who is strong and stable, you need to be strong and stable and put that out there into the universe. You also need to understand and accept though that there is never any guarantee, but I do belive that this is the most likely way to find the right person for you.
I believe that can ve achieved through trying, giving it a shot. I believe you can learn from different dynamics with different people and points of views. I don't see going wrong with that, on the contrary, you're now equipped with new experiences, you're more mature and know for certain what you really want and what u don't
I think you are only partially right. Strong often attracts weak, introvert could be attracted to extrovert and so on
Don't use bad language horrid to hear very nasty and common!
@@talkingbirb2808 Exactly, I was going to type such a reply. That you better attract someone that is not similar to you , but someone that is slightly different and complements you. If you are a little disorganized, better find someone who is more organized than you, if you are too spontaneous and risky, better find someone that will be able to hold you back , and be stable, so you will both find a good middle ground beneficial for both. If you are an introvert, find some slightly extrovert, so he/she will drag you occasionally to a party/concert/cinema. BUT the difference must not be big.
I basically agree with everyone above. From my experience, people focussing on the same aspect but with different expressions of that aspect can make great couples, and often find each other attractive.
You are fundamentally hurt and meet a mothering type? both focus on the same aspect of personality, can be a great match. You both think work-life balance is important but one wants to prioritize family and the other work? you can make a great team and be a great match. One is outgoing but lacks a safe space in their life where they can recharge their batteries, and the other is an introvert who likes to tag along and can provide that restful nest for the other person? great match.
Obviously Parabol76 is right, too. Two notorious party goers? Two endurance sports nuts? Two social climbers? great matches.
And yeah, it can make for terrible matches, too. Someone dominant and someone who treats everyone as equal will have communication problems in a relationship.
That's part of the answer. Sure you have to do the things he mentioned but, it's equally, if not more important that you learn to vet people ruthlessly. You must know how to recognize the red flags that you are likely to encounter. You need to be self aware enough to have determined the type of behavior you expect from a prospective partner and you must be disciplined and confident enough to walk away.
I find it telling about our current society, and appropriate to answer a question about dating with advice on how to deal with truly dangerous people.
1:04 "healthy, productive, generous, honest"
healthy = hot & workout
productive = have a career
generous = let her spend all your money
honest = don't cheat
You forgot clean
Meanwhile she's overweight, doesn't work, spends your money and has 3 kids from 2 other men.
Ah so yet again they arebt worth it because this is expected of men and apparently ladies believe they dont have to abide by ANY of this.
I wouldn't go so far as "all your money" that's all some women want. And he's not talkin in relativity to women. Just be these things period.
And you don't have to have a career to be productive, in fact it's very easy to have a career and not be productive at all
Healthy = balance your diet and work out to spend quality time together for a long time and in decent health
Productive = Have a career or be a hard worker to have our financials in good shape, have our own home to raise our children in a secure place
Generous = To be able to support her and viceversa when rough time comes when he/her lost a job
Honest = so she can reciprocate your honesty and loyalty
It all depends from what perspective you are looking at it.
He is right, so what next? Keep doing just what he said over and over again.. it is still working well for me 46 years later with the same wonderful lady.
honestly just read this part of his book about this paranoid person man and absolutely love the book so far the fact what I read sounds exactly like him in my mind makes it even better experience.
Book name?
@@hamzaawan6489 12 rules for life an antidote to chaos
I'll rather spend my energy and strenght on a car or house or business or even a homeless dogs charity than a women who their biological instict is to take advantage of what men builds in his life by seduction , because dogs deserve it more they're very loyal creatures
Comparing human women to dogs? Just stop. Stop your crap
You are an angry young man. Do not let you anger consume you. One of the points of life us to reproduce. You need a partner for that. Reproduction and happy children would be your commom goal. Tom Hanks said it is easier to win an Oscar then to stay happily married. But it is rewarding.
@@captainbeastazoid7084
Bro trust, Jordan peterson is coward , I wouldn't take his advice he can't even admit that he's an athiest
@@skyarcher9692
Reproduce ? There is already 8 billion people on the planet its not like we gonna save the human race and we are getting short on resources agriculture and water why would you want to bring an innocent new born into this hell of a planet , plus raising children is a tourture physically mentally financially , If anyone is to be married and must be married have children at the least be rich have a million dollars first have a big house so that financial strike that comes with marriage doesn't knock you out.
@@angryyoungman66 i have seen children born in the middle of war, under siege, under shelling, without tap water, electricity and gas heating, in Sarajevo. Similar to Ukraine. Have you got a roof above your head, food on the table and running water. That is a good base to start. Have no worries.
Something I’ve been realizing about getting yourself better and making yourself more desirable, not just sexually but just having people think of you as a great, genuine person to be around is mostly made up just from the mind. The mindset and thinking has been fascinating me lately. It’s not just the way you look and dress. It’ll help but it all starts with your mannerisms, personality, characteristics, humor, generosity. It’s all about your character not looks and honestly it makes me feel better. I’m the best looking guy but I’m pretty confident that my mind and the way I treat others is good and I’ve realized that over the past couple of months. Another thing is that I can talk to girls and just have a fun time and that’s the end of it. The other guys I’m around have a good time with a girl and think it means that they should try to get into a relationship when it’s clear as day she’s not into him like that. It’s not even friend zone either. It’s just having a good time while we can. I wish other people my age could see that life isn’t all about getting all the sex and money you can before you pass away. Just have some good laughs and do some stuff for the fun of other people. You’ll find that doing things to make others happy makes you feel just as happy most the time even when you do things that you would’ve never imagined yourself doing.
Sounds like a cat guy
It’s easier and more exciting to cheat with another than be honest with your partner and put the effort into your own relationship. You can’t have love without respect. Don’t be afraid to walk on your own rather than be someone’s doormat. Wish I would have realized this sooner.
Damn who hurt you :|
@@carluche8190 a whore probably
also, "who hurt you", gtfo back to reddit
Try to practice unconditional love. So no one can hurt you.
Biologically we humans are not designed to be with a partner the whole life til we die
Yeah we can be adults and be honest about it tho can't we? 🤣
well that's half of it. My thing is that I want to be like the man I'd want my daughter to date. So basically not fat, keep personal hygiene, educated, have a job, have hobbies that add to your life and are productive and healthy, have a friends circle you can rely on and trust, be disciplined with strong character, don't do drugs or drink and date with the purpose of marriage. And that's what I do
And that sounds great and all, but it kind of alienates me from most women, especially younger women. I don't give a damn about clothes or being ripped, I don't give a damn about making tons of money, I don't care about being popular, I don't care about cars or whatever and I don't want to sleep around. ...which ironically I couldn't anyway, because women don't respond positively to things like the above anymore, especially younger women. I've kind of laser focused on the minority of women who share similar goals and mindset to this and they are just so damn hard to find under the age of like 35... it gets really frustrating
as a younger woman who has many girl friends my age, most women do not care about guys who are "ripped" or have tons of money. You see shit like that all over the internet but the reality is it actually isn't that common in the real world. Here's what we DO care about: Be GENUINE, without being an asshat. Be honest with your intentions. Don't walk all over us. Treat us with respect. Those things are going to get you places with women. Idk how old you are, but if you're over 35 and looking for younger women, that's usually a red flag. Not saying this is how you are, but "older" men looking for younger women is off putting because it makes us feel replaceable and like we are going to lose our value once we reach a certain age. There's a song about this kind of thing, "Nothing New" by Taylor Swift, will give you an idea of what that looks like. Good women aren't hard to find if you're looking in the right direction.
@@thedarklordofall6792 looking for younger should not be a red flag when you do not know that from which the man has come. All be it if you are the man looking for younger. All motives must be scrutinized to the 3rd degree lest you wind up with someone less than a friend of whom you cannot really relate to. And after the sex calms down you will want a friend. Now if you both lack substance at the end of the day, well maybe it will go the way you both want it for the duration of the ride. There are seemingly happy idiots in the world. At least for spells.
@@thedarklordofall6792 I'd like to ask where to meet women like that then because I don't see them. Dating apps obviously not, bars and such obviously not, uni campus women have been the worst I've ever gone out with, women I meet through friends are already in relationships, where am I even supposed to go? Pray I meet one through friends eventually?
I'm pretty sure I have the genuine part down, I HATE playing dumb games in dating and I'm not interested in being a player or something.
And I'm 27, so younger women means like ~21-25yo, maybe exceptionally someone younger than that, depending on the person, if they'd be really great.
people are who they are today, been with many women and offered them what you said and they never changed, my ex was a perfect example, people get hooked up because of lust, not love and a mutual respect and character match up and then there is no staying power to keep things together, also, many will not invest time and effort to make things work out because most today are delusional period and that applies to both male and female.
It's more important how you love than who you love, because the person you love, is subject to change.
I'm 38. This is what I have learned so far about life and dating women.
R.I.P. if you are a short man. It does not matter how amazing, gentle, honest,
beautiful, successful etc. you are. Yes. Size DOES matter.
If you are a man, then women rank you the following: Size => Success => Beauty => Character.
0. Do not put your love interest (men/women) on a pedestal. It means you are beneath them!
1. Do not become a perfect match to others. Become a perfect match to yourself.
2. Do not request respect from others. Cos, respect is earned and not requested.
3. Do not try to impress others. Cos, whenever you do, it means you doubt yourself.
4. Do not chase after people. There is a reason they run from you!
5. Being “successful_1” means to take one step after another TOWARDS your goal.. every day.
6. Being “successful_2" means to hold your position and keep growing.. every day.
7. Being a “provider” is not necessarily a bad thing. But always remember, you are not a discounter.
8. Being a leader means to decide and act accordingly.
Wanna date => ask her/him out. Want to kiss => collect that courage.
Because regardless of what you do, you will need to deal with the consequences.
Dealing with consequences is what man do.
It is the women's privilege to try to dodge consequences^^
Focus on yourself first is usually the first thing people forget to do. So many directions , twists and turns our lives take depending on our daily outlook and decisions. One day at a time. Work at your own pace as long as you're truly trying to make a difference in your life daily. It will become a habit after about 20-30 days and once you see some actual results, it will start too excite you and drive you to even be better and better and better. Surround yourself around positive people only. Don't need any anchors pulling you down mentally or physically. Good luck to everyone.
Way too good written 🌟
Amen brother, God bless!
Surround yourself with perfect people. Live in a plastic bubble if can🤣
I needed to do this when I met my ex. I am 27 now and just got left after 8 years. I had no idea who I was. I moved with her last year for her career and had a bad time with that. I wanted to work on some hobbies and teach myself graphic design. I saved money and needed to do this because I have been putting it off working and being with her. This year we moved back and she got a house. I didn’t move in because I didn’t want the responsibility at this time because I needed to fix myself. But she really wanted the house so committed on one. Now she was alone in this house wanting to start a life. I wasn’t there at this point so she moved on. I wish I met her at another point in my life. Maybe if I truly loved her it would’ve worked out. But she is my first, and I will always remember that. It’s been 3 really hard months for me.
I am a person like that. But I still find that women in general dont meet similar qualities in my generation
Patience.
If I was you I would find women on other countries mainly in continents like Africa and Asia
@@jonlanier_ I had one. 5 years older. Too bad I didn't want to force kids when I wasn't ready.
@@akira1404 probably.... They are a annoying af under 30....Scandinavia
Men in general don’t either. As a woman I had to look. You only need one person. You just need to know how to find and attract that person.
Good advice if you have an abundance of happy, kind, healthy (mentally and physically) women in your age category.
Why does there have to be an abundance? You only need to pick one
Obviously that's the ultimate goal..lol
@@sgracem2863 One can only choose if there are options
Got me a borderline psychopath. Happy as a lark🤣
In order to love another, you must love yourself first. Enjoy your own company and be the best possible version of yourself, for yourself first.
This is gold! I am thinking along these lines, get yourself right first.
The first part was really good.... then he wandered into psychopaths. He can't seem to help himself.
Long form non scripted discussions are meant to wander. Also, he tied it into the existing topic in the end.
I agree that the man should be the best version of himself. Where I disagree is treating and thinking of her as the prize. If you are the best version of yourself, you are the prize. The female should coalesce into your life, not the opposite. A woman will only remain loyal to a man that she respects and relies upon. If you are a high value man, she should, at least quietly, feel lucky to be allowed into your sphere.
There needs to be expectations both for yourself and the woman like as a straight man you expect the woman to be straight and not a lesbian as a bare minimum
This is not only dating advice but also just life advice. Know what the risks are, be aware of the situations you find yourself in, and then take the calculated risk anyways.
It's not hard tbh. People tend to make it seem harder than it actually is. Just being yourself is the answer. Because eventually being yourself will show anyways in time in the relationship. Landing a woman is easy too. Just ask. Some will not be interested and eventually you will hit a yes. There is someone out there for everyone.
Edit: Also females are like men. There is not a opposite question mark sex stuff. The same way you think. They think the same. Different morals, interests, personalities and more you can find in both genders. Even men being more feminine and females being more masculine. You find those too. Men crave sex and so do females. Females are reserved and men can be as well. Females have class and men have that as well. The same way you go into chilling with the dudes is them with females. But then again, that goes more into makeup and stuff for females. Men can go into makeup too. That would be interests as not all females are even makeup crazy as others may be.
Also, if a female is not interested in the first place. She just isn't.
Cope
There are more men than women under the age of 40 and then more women than men beyond that age (due to men dying more often at younger ages) so there statistically can’t be “someone for everybody” this is just a meaningless statement to make unloved people feel better about themselves and maintain false hope.
@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986 based asf
You sound dumber than a sack of bricks.
What he said I think it more applies for men who are in relationship and want to keep it. If you dont offer to your woman what she needs and want, then she will not be happy. That suppose to be also vice versa. But nevertheless, we, men, are more under magnifying glass of our female partners, which sometimes leads to paranoid behaviour when they "smell" we are not what we are showing. Thats why we need to work on ourselfs, on female and male sides to learn how to satisfy our partner.
Each time when woman starts yelling or complaining about our behaviour, that's because we screwed up...and there is not arguing about it, simply because it is truth. She dont like that, like a person, or like a woman. And that is what he is talking about...meet needs and wants of your lady and then when she is happy, she will give you her best. And just not to forget, that system should be also on both sides, because if its not, then question should be raised are you in relationship or just servant undulging needs of your lady.
Be Honourable
Be the best version of yourself and take no shit❤🔥
I use to ask myself what give the person the advantage in life. The answer is fun. Your job and your partner job is to make sure each other day pleasure as possible . Is your partner taking or giving you more enthusiasm that the question.
Thank you for sharing your insights, I'll put them to good use as I'm about to meet what could be the right partner.
Video is great BUT THE DESCRIPTION...
I love listening to Dr Peterson
But the way you skilfuly put EVERYTHING in the description... GENIUS!!!
The picture looked like he was going to say most men don’t pull the girls hair right.
Wow so true. One might add to Mr. Peterson's advice, when it comes to Christians, to act the way God wants us to. To be kind, generous, patient etc. but not because we want to 'win', 'gain' sth for us, e.g. attention from our partner-to-be, but because God wants us to do so! If we act like that, I think we'll never be disappointed by a possible rejection of the other person!
i knew from like 10 years old that i always will be alone now im 38 and still alone and looking at dating today that was a good decision
never dated never had a friend that is a girl stayed the hell away from women at this point i don't even know how to get close to a woman and the strange thing is that im not depressed i don't feel lonely im not jelous of others that they walk holding hands or kiss i simply walk by like a rock
i have an apartement that is mine not rented a car every possible hardware that money can buy savings im calm and peaceful guy not bad looking and still when i would want to i never was approched by a woman showing interest its like im not good enough which bring me to that not dating part its sad for guys that want that
and about this video Peterson says that you have to work on yourself and you have to try, why is that ? why men have to go thru all this trouble and women sit on their assed waiting to get picked how is that fair and when we marry and woman decides to get a divorce men are the only loosers?
how it was in somethin i dont remember F this 💩 im out
I sincerely congratulate you on your financial success. That's great! If fulfills your life, that's also wonderful.
However, a lot of men aren't fulfilled solely by economic security. Men want women, and in order to get a woman, in the majority of situations, a man has to display competence. Competence means a man is not a boy, he can take care of himself and the woman doesn't have to take care of him since, historically speaking, she'll be busy taking care of the children.
You ask some good questions:
"when i would want to i never was approched by a woman showing interest its like im not good enough which bring me to that not dating part its sad for guys that want that"
-As a general rule, the woman won't ask the man out. In my experience, the woman will make it known indirectly when they really want a guy to ask them out (Example: they have a friend tell the guy for her that she likes him or she'll tell him he's cute). But the guy still has to do it. She's just sending a VERY clear signal that that's what she wants. The vast majority of the time, these signals are MUCH more subtle.
-It's a challenge, but the man has to take the initiative and face the risk of rejection. It sucks that it's not just given to us freely, but that's the reality we face. We can either cry about it and get nothing done or try to improve ourselves. However, even though we may pick the option to improve ourselves, that doesn't mean we are now entitled to the instagram model. You're still going to get rejected. In fact, chances are you are going to get rejected much more often than not. That's part of the reality we, as guys, have to wrestle with.
"Peterson says that you have to work on yourself and you have to try, why is that ? why men have to go thru all this trouble and women sit on their assed waiting to get picked how is that fair and when we marry and woman decides to get a divorce men are the only loosers?"
-This is answered by what I said above. It's generally not in women's nature to seek out men. Some confident women might seek out the "alpha" but generally, women don't do that. That's another "unfair" reality most men have to deal with. Again, our options are to cry about it and nothing improves or keep grinding and getting better one step at a time.
The question about divorce is legitimate. The system can be rough on men. Your best bet is either selecting a mate that minimizes that potential outcome or preparing yourself legally beforehand for the outcome to minimize any potential damage.
"90% MEN DOES THIS WRONG". Come on man, if you're putting out of video of Peterson don't type like a muppet
A man does, men do
That's one of the best pieces of advice ever. But what is missing is the "male initiative" part. Suppose you are making a great date but you never make a move towards women that you like. So you are left with those who make the first move on you. And these are either desperate or seeking for an obedient and controllable partner.
To be paranoid is one of the best state of mind to be in.. nothing comes as a surprice.. no one can trick or lie to you.. very few can find you if you dont want it
La manera que describe su analogia es perfecta incredible 👏
Know what is a friend, and know what that friend would want in you. Then get to laying down your life for 'em.
Guys, stop being nice and start being honest. First to yourself, and then, to everyone else.
for myself the problem is getting the chance to meet pepole both for a relationship and for friendship.
Very accurate advice
That's right lads. They fall for what a man can do and achieve, not for who he is. While a man falls for woman because how she makes him feel not what she got, what she made and what she has achieved.
Thank you
I feel like this man lives on another planet. What he says its true, but does it work on our society right now? I really don't think so...
Valuable knowledge
amazing advice about the the question
Dude i cant believe he used that bible verse.
Mthew 10:16
"As soft as a dove and as wise as a serpent" So well stated. Use discernment in other words. Great video JP as always.
Be tall, smart, confident and rich, that's all XD
Thank you!
I've never been on a date before and all my relationships started off with me finding out the girl likes me. Since then I've been single and it's been like 6years. Idk how I look to people but I think I look good and love myself a bit but I also think my main problem would be socialising. I'm not much of a talker bcuz am not one who will force myself to talk to people and be fake friendly just to get what I want or get to know them, nah I can't do that. From what I've been told people just assume am always serious and mad and intimidating but really I don't intentionally act like that. Im just incapable of wearing a fake smile if am not genuinely happy which is like never and I lack being sensitive or showing charm cuz I've barely been exposed to dat stuff in all my life and grew up with not showing weakness or being weak. In most of my relationships the girls understood that about me. But lately idk I feel lonely but at the sametime I feel at peace knowing I can do whatever I like on my own timing and don't hafto worry about calling someone or staying up almost all night just to talk.
A good answer to the question.
When I was volunteering at The Listening Ear ( a mental health hotline). and a lonely young ma called. He would have his first date, never even talked to a girl, and was scared. I asked him what his interests were, what his hobbies, were, what he loved to talk bout. Big zero for all. No surprise.
He sounds like Bob Odenkirk
To have a woman you need to get through her attrantion and her heart
1. attantion - be attracted, clean, shape, good job and so on.
2. heart - your personality.
She want you beacouse she attracted to you but at the end she stay with you beacouse of your personality
In short:
"Make her to want you and give her a reason to stay with you"
You mean money
so the woman doesn't have to give reasons for you to stay with her?
It seems like the best way is to instead focus on being the best version of yourself. Don't try to be what you THINK others would want.
The only thing he doesn't mention is that even if you do all that what he sais, that you still have to deal with constant rejection, somehow you will need to pull yourself together, rinse and repeat.
He does say that but it does deserve more emphasis. You can work on yourself and develop in all the right ways and STILL get rejected by a lot of women. That doesn't reflect on you as a man. Just a mis-match. Some of these MGTOW guys will take that as an impetus to quit dating all together. Take their ball and go home. They should really just keep grinding.
Not sure about this advice. I poured my heart into a woman anticipating and fulfilling her needs, pouring $15k on her urgent needs in 10 days. She just kept pressing for more, so much so I could no longer sustain it and had to say goodbye. Some people are not kind enough to be grateful and reciprocate properly.
You never, ever, hand money to a person you are not married to. This is the #1 rule of successful dating. If you meet a person that "needs" your money for whatever, and even plausible, reason, run! They have mismanaged their own life and you do not want to burden yourself with such a person.
@@BasementEngineer Thanks, I learned a lesson at a high tuition.
Why is this my favorite video of him?
0:57 "[women] OK, what do they want?? oh Peterson ; men have been asking that question since the dawn of man. That is the hardest question to answer.
Different people have different needs. Even a dead beat, someone would like him if he has enough courage to approach enough!
My trick is simply not caring what a woman thinks. Im a good person and thats enough. Bad women are easily forgotten.
I want a convo between Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate lmao
Fate is a strange thing... literally 2 days before I accumulated enough right experience to get to this point to know how right he is in this very video...
🔥
Remember lads, if you can’t dance, don’t be afraid to ask your girl to teach you. If she doesn’t or won’t then she’s not for you. Find the partner that can help you and teach you, they tend to be mature and the best kind to grow old with.
Alcohol, bars, parting and glamour are not going to find anything but trouble.
I feel as if the soul gathered everything lt needed and left. Only body remains
Omg this is the most amazing thing l have ever heard
interviewer: how do you find the love of your life?
JP: that's a good question
Also JP: why don't I have a good answer? Oh, I know why! because that's a stupid question.
Make oneself good for a reasonable woman's needs, and know who is worth her price.
Love your thoughts here!
Date because you want to, not because you need to.
just realized I have nothing to offer, great insight :)
LOVE is ...
when You CARE / Act toward the Needs of your Partner
over Those of Yours
Love is also blind and if you care more for the other then yourself it´s basicly game over. You will probably forgive them for cheating on you and stay with them. Don´t do this, learn to love youself instead first. Then it´s all about trust
You're right. Infatuation and lust are emotions we feel, which fade in time.
Love is a choice we make, even when it gets hard and when the other 2 have faded.
Most people don't get that, and divorce when the butterfly feelings fade.
Actually that’s not love brother. That’s codependency. That is enabling of poor behaviour. That is attachment. That is the root of all suffering. True love is transcendent of needs. True love is sourced within. Yes you can give and receive - but if you forgo your own needs, and they never do the same for you - well then you’re in a one-sided relationship. If you both forgo your needs to care for the other - then you’re both completely dependent and attached. If you are both able to self-soothe, meet your own needs healthily, and also give and receive with mutuality - then, you may experience romantic love with another …but that’s just romantic love … true love transcends all of this .. true love is understanding the suffering of all beings, and praying deeply for all of them, friend and enemy alike. That is love.
Don`t .... there is a high probability that you end up heartbroken or even worse. But if you have nothing else to do go for it. The only positive part is might be kids.
Moral of the story
Jordan : are you rich amigo?
Me:no
Jordan:take a sip And go for a pip
"How do i change myself for the perfect partner"............i need to change ?
Bro just informed us that no matter How Dangerous Looks on the outside, they're all still human and have a soul/conscience inside of them
All the rules applies to women also .. they must think how can we be good for men…
Person needs to be likable first Most women have everything needed to survive on their own
The priority here seems to be on “what she feels”, what about HIM?
Does she too has to think “how to be the best date?” Or is it just one way?
Beautiful. Unfortunately this advice, if implemented blindly, leaves one wide open to psychopath predators.
JP says "soft as a dove and wise as a serpent". But it is more than that.
So as you "offer everything you could to a partner" you need to set up an external sphere of logic hovering over your head,
observing everything and providing warnings in case you have found yourself in the talons of a predator psychopath.
Because, it turns out, you can NEVER evoke "the best in them" if the partner is a predator psychopath.
And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. (Quran 41:34)
All these things I am and no woman yet has appreciated or valued .
Therefore I will continue to live abstinent and wait.
Just maybe there is a woman who will with reciprocation
hmh. i was married to, and then divorced, someone who everyone who knew her were veery careful around. didn't pick up on that flag. "she's just a bit difficult" or "she's just strong-willed" was what i explained it to myself as. nope, fast-forward a few years and full-fledged abuse, paranoia and borderline psychotic episodes. fun fun fun when you realize you're going to have to deal with that for the rest of your life because your children will have to deal with it for the rest of theirs, and i'll be damned if i leave them alone.
Dr Peterson,
How do I make myself into a Prefect Date. But do I want to go through that for some used up females who is Chad Leftover.
It’s actually harmless, not soft but in looking the 2 up apparently harmless can be used instead of the adjective soft. The reason to specify adjective is because it can also be a noun or an adverb. I would stick with harmless so the some grammar freak doesn’t go Well are you using that as a noun or adverb? That would be right before I gave them the shark treatment!!
The snakes will turn on you and take you down if you get with the wrong person. They will try to destroy you but look towards the light.
no fall.in love but just being in love with life then true love will come .avoid scammers